This week there is a bottle of 
Mum Talked Down Woolwich Terrorists | Telegraph
How the Tories Can Win in 2015 | Harry Phibbs
View From Lord Bell’s Summer Party | Speccie
What Dave, Ed and Nick Want You to Hear | James Kirkup
In Praise of Apple’s Tax Plan | Daniel Mitchell
Christine Blower Can’t Do Maths | Toby Young
Cameron is Having a Shocker | Iain Martin
UKIP Still Back Flat Tax | London Loves Business
Dave Will Probably Win in 2015 | Dan Hodges
EU’s Tax Harmonisation Agenda | Dan Hannan
Tories Have Always Sneered at Party Faithful | Simon Heffer
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Ai Weiwei in China fighting the taxman…
“Under totalitarian rule, no one is protected by law. We will all be the same helpless victims. When a country insists on its lies, it’s time for an artist to bring forth change.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
“Now where is that knife that Ed lent me”
Al-Qaeda in UK = 30yrs+ in pokey.
Al-Qaeda in muzzieland = UK taxpayer money plus inviation to No. 10 and The White House.
Alles klar?
Oy vey! The people know who’s behind Turkey and why I want Turkey in the EU!
http://english.pravda.ru/opinion/columnists/10-08-2012/121873-aleppo_truth-0/#
Don’t worry, Boris, I’m right behind you, ready to give you a good Fisting!
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/aug/08/boris-johnson-aide-extreme-pornography-cleared
boris finds the G.spot.
DC: These fools actually think there is a difference between us.
BJ: These aren’t just initials Dave, remember Eton? you know what to do.
Senior tories show their support for marriage equality
*This is not an entry*
It is now!
*claps*
Get your bloody arm from around my shoulder you bloody “has been” shit.
Dave demonstrated his policy position on pretty much everything.
Fuck me, I never could get the hang of that Vulcan Death Grip
They think they are back at Eton.
(Dave thinks): Tony’s not watching me, is he?
They won’t suspect a thing……………
Had a shower today Boris@
“I WILL get some stardust even if i do have to hug him”
http://order-order.com/2011/02/09/comment-of-the-day/#comments
I need to remind myself of the NB and comment 1.
Nibble my ear Boris, I like a bit of passion when I’m being fucked!
“That’s right Boris, five million more to the Syrians, let’s see how that woman on the radio show likes it now!”
See nasty hobbits’s? Boris myyyy precious.
Et tu, Brute?
Someone’s Taking The ‘BhangraFit’ Out Of Me
“Kiss me quick before Nick Clegg sees “
Dave says: “my family loves me, your’s think you’re French *passes him http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/the-best-of-enemies-david-cameron-vs-boris-johnson-2335578.html *.
Boris’ latest squeeze
At least there can be no kids out of this one
(Dave:) Now, where did I put me knife?
“Psst.. You even think about trying to get my job, and I’ll release the file..”
“And there’s no point in sticking your tongue into my ear, I’m still going to oust you…”
BJ 4 DC
Is Cameron administering an extremely powerful, slow-release enema, dear?
Floreat ye-boner.
Trevor MacDonald cleans camera lens with own tongue!
+1
Dave hoping for a reconciliation but Boris keeps his zip wired.
Stand out winner…
“One of the missing Cameroons spotted with Mayor of London”
Enjoy your poll ratings Boris BUT try for leadership and you’ll find yourself buried under on of my father in laws wind turbines! Capeesh
Get out of the way so I can see the volley ball girls
Why bother? – They all had small tits.
But wonderful buttocks.
EXCUSE ME WHILE I PUT MY HAND UP YOUR ARSE
See comment 172
Boris I am out of it and happy, where can I get more of that doping stuff from?
”cooorby, cooooorby, coooooorby..”
There there dave, dont worry, not long before we are both not PM
There goes another rib. Not long before you fail to win the jockjuice moosa.
“I know it was you Fredo… I know it was you!”
Very nice.
“Il Baccio Della Morte!”, courtesy Judas Iscameron.
He may want to avoid Eton Dorney for the foreseeable
Dave: ‘Who ever made Beach Volleyball an Olympic sport is a fucking genius!’
Boris: ‘True dat!’
No, the genius is the man who decided to hold it right outside his office window.
“Boris, you are a ‘AAA’ kind of guy”
Boris physically prevents another Camoron U-Turn.
TAKE. THE. GUN. OUT. OF. YOUR. POCKET..
“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”
Might have helped if I’d looked at Guido’s title…doh.
Never mind, I prefer the Paps of Jura to the whisky…
At the extreme risk of being misunderstood, I agree with your preference…
Sure…it IS great to see you. But that bottle over there still seems pretty attractive. One has to set priorities.
You will feel a small prick as I drive this knife into your back Boris!!
Boris and Camoron in BI-partisan agreement.
“Your hair smell good”
That’s right little Davey I’m your Daddy too.
Αγκαλιές και φιλιά
Peccavi
You are not the only one, mate!!
Οι Έλληνες εφηύραν το
Όλοι είναι αιμορραγία κλασικά λόγιος σήμερα …
Μπίλι Botty
Conjoined twins re unite
Pssst, I,ve got a flask of Jura in my pocket. Well a guy needs to relax sometimes and only the best for the P.M.
Dave and Boris have a Greek Hug.
Το “αστείο” δεν ήταν αστεία την πρώτη φορά
Ήμουν ο πρώτος!
Timeo Danaos et dona ferentes
Mmmmmmm….. The Jura’s out!
“Let go of me David, the magic doesn’t literally rub off”.
“Is that your Johnson in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?”
10% off Photoshop!
Shoop!
Iconic clutch moment for UK ‘sports’.
“If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you’re going to be cockeyed today”. [Anonymous]
please dont f*ck me, just hug me…
“Yes, she did say she’s a pole vaulter Boris, but that’s an event not an invitation.”
“Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight?” “The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.”
NARF!!!
Twatty watch
Next time I’ll not just leave you hanging I’ll cut the wire!
“In the manner of Cæsar, I hereby announce my candidacy for that superlative riding of Corby … er, steady on Dave! No time for Wiff Waff now!”
Boris to the loser: “Fuck off”
Back, Boris, back. She’s IN the game, not ON the game.
Oh, go on, let me show you how to “Agree with Nick”.
Winner!
Πίσω σε σας
Et tu Boris?
Boris “Just as well I wear a cricketers’ box when I’m at a function with you, Prime Minister”
You’re my besht mate, you are, *hic*. I love you, *hic*. Hee hee, Cleggy’s a right… *gulp*, *retch*, *oooaaaaarrrrr*…
Eton Boys, Eton Boys
Old School ties and Olympic toys
Eton Boys, Eton Boys,
They call us the Olympic Cowboys
Sibling rivalry
The jury’s still out;
The Jura’s in.
Where oh where was / is the Jurex?
Look, another wet otter!
Another penis springs out from the back of Borises head.
“Ooh Boris, you big hunk, I’m going to stick my big wet tongue right in your ear!! But I’d rather have a wee dram of Superstition”
you know you right?I REALLY love you boris!!I know Ive had a few but you are ace and I love you loads man….bleeeeuuuurrrgghhhhh!!!
‘I am a Bullshitter myself, but, I do like to hear a professional at it. So please continue!!’
Come on Guido, there is a BIG difference between “a bottle of Jura Superstition” and a “Jura Superstition bottle”.
Having lost his MoJo Dave cuddles up to his BoJo
or
Peirs Morgan realises that Boris must be disposed of if his career as a Call me Dave look a like is to flourish after he’s been sacked by CNN
Can’t post it – far too crude.
Don’t be stupid.
Get it out for everyone to see.
(just a comment)
“Et tu, Boris?”
No tongues Boris , Osbourne might be watching
“BORIS MATE (hic) I REALLY LOVE YOU MAN”.
Dave gets excited about the competition prize before Boris consoles him that undoubtedly Hárry will still drink it all.
Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul
But I do love thee! And when I love thee not,
Chaos is come again.
“Congratulations old chap we couldnt have wrecked the country without you”
DC “Bloody hell, I’ve managed to get stuck on your Zip Boris!”
BJ “Never mind, Guido will never describe you of being a cock-sure, opportunist tosser, looking for a leg up from somebody who knows how to win an election. That will be Ed’s line”
“Your back, Boris. Your back!!!”
Hold me Boris – I feel safe with you!
Sit down and zip up your flies for Christ’s sake – at least wait until the volleyball match has finished!
You’re my best mate, give us a kiss
Boris to Dave ” Dave please stop fondling my buttocks with you left hand. I had thought that would have grown out of that by now.”
“Oh Dave you’re wearing your drunk face; now hand over your keys.”
And now we join the Olympic final of the Eton wall game….. the winner being the first one to bring some balls into No 10.
DC – “OK. On three – you let go of my balls and I take my thumb out your arse – just like in the Bullingdon days…”
Can you ride tandem?
Did you hear the one about the Lib Dem guy who wanted to change the House of Lords?
Aw Boris, reach around and remove that knife in my back that Nick Clegg shoved in.
We were only discussing Homer…
Boris: This is inconceivable.
That is exactly what I said.
Hi Brutus
Back off woman he’s mine!
Is that a knife in my back, or are you just pleased to see me?
Dave: They don’t suspect a thing!
Boris: *maniacal laugh*
Dave seeking confirmation that Boris is both a mensch and unmenschionable.
Nicola James said she really fancies you.
I dare you to tell him he’s won a bald medal.
Public enemy number 1 discusses game tactics with pubic enemy number 1 at the Ladies volleyball- UK v Germany.
Dave hoping for a draw.
Boris hoping for drawers.
Boris, Seb Coe is scaring me.
“Calm down, David, it’s only a mouse.”
He shouldn’t have had that 15th Jaegerbomb.
DC thinks: ‘no one will notice if I knee him in the bollocks’
Mo, Mo, Mo! Mo’, Boris, mo’…!!!!
Boris and Cam felt overdressed at the Love Parade.
Cameron saying: I’ve tried Boris, but I can’t hold back my urges for you any longer! Tell me how to win.
‘Hang on Boris you’re nearly at the vinegar strokes’
Dave eyed Boris’s trouser tent with a mixture of awe and disgust.
Cameron pregnant, shock…..
The Partaker meets the Caretaker.
Oh how I’ve missed our regular Greco-Roman wrestling bouts.
La vendetta è un piatto che va mangiato freddo
speak italian you cretin
Dave swaps Cleggover for Legover.
*Prays for coitus interruptus*
I used to see the picture on these caption contest thingies, but now I never do, even if I disable all my ad blocks etc. Something has gone wrong… Can everyone else see it, whatever it is?
Nope. We’re just firing off random comments.
Ah, my problem is a particular filter from wordpress. Works if I switch that off. But then there’s an ad visible. What AM I to do.
Sod it, click it and make a purchase
There’s one for something called “Arrymess”. I think it’s a hair product.
Now, while he’s distracted, I’ll give him a wedgie!
Listen, I know I am a complete and utter cock, but its not your turn to be Mr Leader yet
College Wall wins for the first time in over a decade.
Far to subtle for someone who buys their socks from Primark
Boris – “Dave whoaa! just hold on a minute. Just what sort of a guy do you think I am Eh?…
Tits first”
“Insert between second and thirds ribs Dave , then wait for the little gurgle sound.”
“Honest Boris, you are my bestest, bestest friend. “
” Wait till I get you home bitch”
Dave only just about stops a stumbling Boris from crushing Prince Phillip!
Boris grabs Dave with the left handed Bullingdon ball crunch as Dave goes for the backdoor Melvin
Caligula made his horse a consul Boris but that doesn’t mean you have to boast about being hung like one.
Dave felt that it was quite the filthiest joke he had ever been told.
Dave ‘s clumsy attempt to pickpocket copy of paternity injunction from Boris goes horribly wrong
No David, we are not “fuggin fambly” and I am not your best mate.
Comprehensive Scum Playing The Eton Wall Game:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7864741169590171513
jura superstion ??
isn t that the old elvis presley number ?
At last! It’s jolly boating weather, what the f**k are we doing dresses like a pair of stiffs.
We Eton Chaps must stick together, – like shit to a blanket if need be!
(and this is the toned down version)
Is it just me or does Boris look like he has just finished a rampant quickie shag while Dave looks like he has just had the most dreamy come ever?
Perhaps they are practicing for what Boris is about to do to Dave in the political world!!
(Please forgive me but I have just published on smashwords/amazon [it will take 12 hours there] a quickie called “Political Pussy” where a female politician tries to corrupt a woman and she ends up screwing her – use your imagination. So policians and sex are very much on my mind at this precise moment.)
Yeah! We know… Nobody believes us either.
Mano a Nano
May I just add
Botox boy is trying to show dominance
Alex (the one who pretends to be Boris) is just shrugging him off
mark my words 3 years and Alex will have shagged Sam Cam and be in Number 10 installing a mirrored ceiling for COBRA meetings
COCK OUT BORIS READY FOR ACTION
After divorcing his wife of 25 years, Barney Rubble carries his new lover over the threshold.
Olympic Blond.
The eyes have it
The eyes have it.
Just my luck to end up with the fat one. Wonder if it’s a real blond?
Hug him.
I’d like to throttle him.
You scratch my back, I’ll stab yours!
Dave “Haha, Have you seen the tab for this shite! Lucky we’re expensing it.”
Mmmm Boris, I love that “just cycled” smell.
Boris is concentrating on the 5 rings, whereas Dave’s concentrating on Boris’ ring.
“Boris I’m scared.who are these people?”
“Don’t be scared David it’s only the great unwashed we read about at Eton”
“Oh yeah Dave, thats the spot…”
Alternatively “Dave, you can take your finger out of my a**e now”
Wow! Just look at that You-Gov Poll go!
Boris: Whatever it takes, Prime Minister – even if I have to carry you over the line!
“When I heard you were hanging from a wire, I immediately thought of Mussolini”
The moment of realisation: Boris finally finds out that after many years of grooming, ‘DC’ is at long last contemplating ‘AC/DC’ after a few drams of Superstition!!
Boris: I think you may have misunderstood the meaning of “getting stuck on a zip”.
Cameron celebrates winning Olympic gold medal for chillaxing…LOL
Mortadella
Cam “Just play nice and smile for the Cameras and I’ll give you your bloody airport”
Hehe, do you know who is this chick behind me? I wanna have a toast of Jura Whisky with her tonight.
BoJo, after the games are over, I’m going to make you my bitch…
O/T But who the fuck agreed to this ? Do you want a fucking war?
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2012/08/10/scrapping_86_climate_regs_will_save_400_million_says_decc/
Two fat fuckers promise a lot but deliver fuck all
MEssagespace encapsulated
EXCLUSIVE: Cameron’s real reason for supporting Gay marriage
Boris : “I could kill you with my thumb, you know”
I really, really hate you Johnson.
Absolutely, absolutely , absolutely.
Can you win a medal in the Olympics without having overcome 3 broken legs , 2 broken spines, child sexual abuse and a lifetime of lack of financial support.
“Leave it out Boris. Cable’s not worth it. “
“But Dave, I gotta go. It’s a combination of Beach Volleyball and a day out with Wendy Deng. Beach fucking volleyball and Wendy Deng”
“Why, I can smile and murder while I smile” HenryVI pt 3
Mayor Culpa
I warned you nobody finishes my Jura
Cam: That wasn’t a paracetamol, I’m rushing my nuts off…. what’s your name again?
I thought it was supposed to be a kiss not a hug when you pass the torch
D.C.: When you become PM you aren’t gonna have me killed are you?
Dave:
“If you don’t cut it out Bozzer, I’ll get Willie to send in some radios and other non-military stuff to loca London rioters”.
One for the road Dave?
“Et tu, David?
Nunc cadit maioris.”
“Oh, you can call me Bo, or you can call me Jo, or you can call me BoJo, or you can call me Boris, or you can call me Mayor, or you can call me Al, or you can call me a taxicab– but you doesn’t has to call me Johnson!”
Dave: Proper Marriage or a Civil Partnership?
Boris: Bogoff!!
“I know it was you, Fredo … and it breaks my heart”
Remembering the Eton days!
Government launches gay marriage ad!
Cameron: “Come on then old boy, one last hug for the BBC cameras before I return you to Madame Tussaud’s.”
Johnson: “Ooo David – I never knew you cared!”
Cameron: “I don’t. I just wanted to put some chewing gum in your hair.”
Dave: Just so you know Boris, Vladimir’s a great mate and he has some *very* useful friends.
“Boris, do be a good chap and let go of my balls before the protection officer is forced to shoot you”
From Cameron’s expression it is difficult to decide if he thinks Boris is a friend or an enema.
Both.
” Drink ……feck ….Beach Volleyball …..feck”
“Drink ……feck ….Beach Volleyball …..feck”
” I bloodyyy luvv youuuuu”
” I’ll come out if you do!”
give me a kiss and a cuddle boris and we can pull this country back out of the recession after the olympics have finished
Toff love.
Sometimes I wish I could be more like Gordon and just chuck a bloody phone at him!
I’m going to marry him.
From Brasenose to Brownose.
Now a quick adjustment and the strangle hold is complete!
Cameron: “If we keep up this love hate thing – we’ll fool them like Blair and Brown did.”
BoJo: “Bonzer, spiffing, tickety boo – were on our way; what ho! and … we’ve got Rupee on board too.”
The lady on the left is saying:
“It doesn’t matter anymore, anyway. I’m following the rest and joining UKIP”
Move along there dear; your medication is on the way.
I come to bury Boris, not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones; So let it be with Boris.
William Mark Anthony Hague
“But luckily, like most Old Bullingdonians, he knew Myles Jackman…”
Have you a tissue? One of us has made an Eton Mess.
Hey !!!!!!!
Get your own comments.
So where have you left your daughter this time?
Boris; which one? There’s hundreds out there.
“Good job that super injunction worked”
Cock jockeying for positions
A picture of the Tory leader and his predecessor
Sorry Davey Ducks but
I like Tottie
Dave getting on top of the big issue in his Party
That’s a great new Olympic policy Boris – a minimum 38D cup size in the women’s beach volleyball.
Why is my Prime Minister together with the Mayor of London being photographed together drunk in public?
Remember too that the Mayor of London was returned to office with the very slimmest of majorities and the Prime Minister if I remember correctly did not even get a majority.
They should both know better.
DAVE: Awww, I love the smell of ambition!!
BORIS: Have I got news for you! I hate the smell of mediocrity!
Boris: ‘Hey, Bolt old chap, over here. Dave wants to hear how to run and win’.
‘Boris, let’s see what we can bungle today. Anything will do that leaves you hanging around looking silly whist the general public laugh, that way we can hide other mistakes that this Goverment has made and get away with it as usual…’
Laura Trott and Jason Kenny didn’t expect these particular imitators…
“His voters, as they dried their eyes,
Said, “Well–it gives me no surprise,
He would not do as he was told!”
His Party, who were self-controlled,
Bade all the members round attend
To Cameron’s miserable end,
And always keep a-hold of Boris
For fear of finding something worse.”
H/T to Hillaire…
DC – “Here Booboo, I’ve written a song for conference”
“The Labour debt is deepest red,
It leave our prospects truly dead,
The poor will go stiff and cold,
They believed the lies that were told.
Then raised the borrowings bloody high. (chorus)
Within this raid we’ll live and die,
The cowards pinched and Brownites sneer,
Although we can’t afford a beer.”
Boris ” And they say I’m the barmy one”
We can end the night with a wee dram or two…what you think big boy
“If you liked that, wait until you see what I pull out of his arsehole now … “
mmmmmh, Chanel No 5!
Et tu balls
“Hold off! unhandle me loon! …
“Instead of the cross, the albatross
About my neck was hung.” (Courtesy, Samuel Taylor Coleridge)
“He clings to me still, yet I am his doom!”
Reader, I married him.
(Thinks) I’m over the moon. Boris said that I can be his SPAD.
Boris my dear fellow, does your wife know about those two little filly’s your still shagging ? Were don’t have visions of grandeur, do we now.
DAVE “boris Becks has just tipped me the paps are snapping us when you tongue me.”
BORIS “who gives a shit, its better out in the open.”
Boris loves a Cumeron his Johnson
Dave was overcome as he congratulated the new Leader
Cameron hugs Boris and gets the clap…
Dave to Boris – I would watch out for that fellow Seb Coe if I was you. After the success of running the Olympics and with his tremendous popularity, it wouldn’t surprise me if he fancied your job.
Ah bless, they’re playing the Eton Ball Game.
smells like team spirit
Dave: Intoxicating!
Johnson’s baby shampoo or Timotei?
Boris: What happens in London stays in London.
“David, David, David! Don’t worry, this time it’s just a metaphorical fucking?”
“When I kiss him – shoot!”
‘Your the next one up for the high jump Boris!’
Now if I can just remember the right way to position my hands to perform the Ryo-te-jime stranglehold which stopped Hague in his tracks!
Dave: “By the way Boris, did you know there were photographs and guess who’s got them”
Boris: “Oh shit!”
Dave: “But Boris, Bullingdon Boys never do each other down, do they”
Boris: “Wrong Dave, I’m afraid, it’s only Bullingdon Boys who can hold their drink who don’t get done down”
Dave: “By the way Boris, I believe Helen Macintyre has a book with the publishers, it’s called, apparently, “Happy Families”
Boris: “Oh cripes!”