August 6th, 2012

Hollande Left With Oeuf on Face

It turns out President Hollande was all mouth and no trousers last week as he tried to mock Team GB’s medal haul:

“We don’t talk of money, we talk of gold. The British have rolled out a red carpet for French athletes to win medals. I thank them very much for that, but the competition is not over. We will put the French medals into the Europe pot, so that the British will be happy to be European.”

Sixteen Team GB golds later and the cat seems to have got Hollande’s tongue  - Britain now has double the number of golds won by the French and are miles ahead of them in the overall medal table.

Boris twisted the knife this morning, delivering the sort of line that Dave dreams of being able to say:

Well, M le Président, mettez-ça dans votre pipe et fumez-le! Bien je jamais,eh!”

Absolument.


76 Comments

  1. 1
    Man Up Tim! says:

    Fuck you France!

    • 4
      If you don't understand English says:

      Vas te faire encule France

      • 26
        the rest of the world ain't fooled, cocker says:

        Ohorugu – druggie, Nigerian
        Farah – Somalian, lives in US
        Ennis – ‘Sheffielder’, poster-girl for ‘Miscegenation UK’
        Rutherford – ~ 8.30m attained 45 years ago; lowest winning olympic distance since 40 years.

        cycling – tens of millions lottery money spent on tech; where’s the effing skill?
        rowing – ditto; about ten countries compete seriously.
        swimming – oops! world competes – UK – zeros; cast aspersions on drug cheating when beaten
        football – world competes; plus requires innate skill and intelligent organisation coaching – can’t be done by coaching the pulling of an oar or turning a crank mindlessly

        Yeah, let’s all celebrate UK’s sport success!

        • 27
        • 32
          Anonymous says:

          blah blah blah were stuffing the fench and its hurting you , diddums lol

          • indigenous Anglo says:

            no, not French, English, born and bred. Just don’t fall for the BS spewed by the corporate media, pols and UK elite to justify their taxpayer and lo(o)ttery-funded jamboree and in-your-face propaganda for the extinction of the indigenous races of the British Isles.

            Oh, and believe sport should require some actual skill, rather than the coaching of automatons, however ‘bravely’ they rowed, cycled … . Sport is the human spirit displaying its god given talent, not an exercise in replicating a rowing machine or a bicycle roller.

          • The Paragnostic says:

            If you’d ever rowed, you’d know that there’s a lot more to it than “replicating a rowing machine”.

            In fact, I’s do so far as to sat that rowing in an eight is the ultimate team sport – to balance the efforts of eight people and keep the boat sitting correctly in order to achieve maximum speed is extremely difficult.

            Similarly with cycling – just keeping the bike on the track at 40+ miles an hour is an achievement that I doubt you’d ever manage.

            You are an idiot and an ill informed bigot.

          • Another Engineer says:

            Exactly Para – both rowing and cycling are highly skilled, which anyone who has done either would know.

            I think we have another case study for this:
            http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10626367

        • 35
          Come on Team GB says:

          LOL you are a total loser mate. Come on Team GB

        • 53
          What a Plonker. says:

          Cocker,You sad tosser.

        • 73
          Steve Lloyd. says:

          Sour grapes pal, sour grapes. By the way if you run into that twat Hollande, tell him we not European, we’re fucking British.

        • 75
          Anonymous says:

          Shame you cant use your own name coward!

    • 30
      erm...woofwoof says:

      as a historic landing on mars takes place….who is landing on Boris’s mars on earth. it’s a frog.
      …..watery europe vs. bulldogbritain.
      @weshall_notbemovedDot.calm.

      • 49
        Trev says:

        So its OK Mr indigenous to be a freak who can run 100m but you’re just a big fat gobshite if you are strong enough to be a rower.
        You make honest right wingers shrink with embarrassment.

        • 64
          erm. says:

          life is a freak incident. accept your point about embarressment…but are we not a shameless lot.
          earth..is dark…feminine….grounded.
          this country is grounded. i apologise for the shrinkage.

        • 65
          erm. says:

          if you shrink then i shrink.
          but shrinkage has a purpose.
          #head lowers in sorrow.

          @embarrassment.com

  2. 2
    Ah! Monika says:

    Can a cat with html get the O and E together for Guido.

    • 17
      Ah! Monika ( comment withdrawn ) says:

      The œ ligature is often replaced in Contemporary French with ‘oe’, as the œ character does not appear on AZERTY keyboards.

      • 31
        Only 6 days 09 hours 50 minutes until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

        Ha! That’ll teach them. Stupid French keyboards don’t even speak French.

        Did you know, on a French keyboard you have to SHIFT the . key to get a .? You can’t just press full-stop to get a full stop, noooo, that’s far too sensible, you have to shift-press-full-stop.

        And I think I’m right in saying you have to shift comma, and all the number keys at the top, too.

        • 39
          Ah! Monika says:

          French ‘shifty’? Jamais

        • 60
          Merde says:

          Not sure about that, but it took me ages to find where they’d hidden the @ when I was in a French internet café.

          Mind you, the iPad keyboard is no better…

  3. 3
    SP4BS says:

    Avoid using the word “pipe” in french. it often has strong innuendo as “blowjob”

  4. 5
    Man in the Street says:

    va te faire foutre Hollande

  5. 6
    Fake Blood says:

    Any chance you could do a UK vs rest of EU medal table Guido, please? Perhaps then also do it per head of population. Oh, and slice it by right vs left Wong governments.

    Thanks.

    • 10
      Lord Moynihan says:

      But please don’t show Anglo-Saxon via imports.

      Private V State education is OK

  6. 8
    ed martin says:

    it seemed laboriously codified, and got what it deserved

    my worry was that he was hinting that just as the awards were for Europeans, so should be the cost – in future

    it is a rip-off as it is, no need to let Brussels add noughts to the losses

  7. 9
    Anonymous says:

    I thought he was suggesting that France would make the Olympics about Gold, and not about corporate greed (those empty seats)?

    • 28
      SP4BS says:

      he sort of suggested that too, but part of it suggested that all EU medals belonged to him. Well they would do if Napoleon had his way.

  8. 11
    Penfold says:

    As for Boris’s op-ed piece in the Telegraph this am,

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/borisjohnson/9455037/More-reasons-to-raise-a-cheer-for-Londons-golden-Games.html

    what a complete load of tripe, drivel and useless rot.

    As for giving Sauce Hollandaise a kicking, jolly good show, what!

    Perhaps on the back of this Olympics euphoria, someone can convince “Call me Dave” to let us have a Euro Referendum, simple Yes/No option, which hopefully will then screw Cleggypoo’s wish to go back to Brussels when we all vote No, nien, non, nyet.
    It would be Call me Dave’s final revenge on the Limp-Dicks.

  9. 12
    Anonymous says:

    He looks shorter than Shortarzy!

    • 72
      xplrnwg says:

      They assigned a particularly large guardsman as an escort to make him look short.

  10. 13
    Steve Miliband says:

    Boundary review scrapped. Fuck the LD’s. Call an election and let Miliband take over and then let’s see how that extra spending thingy goes

  11. 15
    Popeye says:

    What a shame Dave’s scriptwriter never thought of it.

  12. 16
    Only 6 days 10 hours 07 minutes until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

    9.5 days at £562,500,000 per day, 5 billion 422 million 625 thousands 195 pounds 31 pence so far, 16 medals.. that’s £338,914,074.71 each!

    Bargain!

  13. 19
    cheche says:

    Hollande even wants to take our medals away- don t they get enough already

  14. 20
    Now then now then, boys and gals boys and gals, especially little gals says:

    A TV documentary will accuse late broadcaster and charity campaigner Sir Jimmy Savile of being a pa*dophile, it has been reported. The programme, which is set to air on ITV1 ahead of the first anniversary of Savile’s death in October, will be presented by criminologist and child protection expert Mark Williams-Thomas.

    The show interviews several alleged victims, who claim Savile abused them when they were under age. The alleged victims are female and speak of grooming and assaults, some of which they claim took place on BBC premises. Savile presented Top Of The Pops, Jim’ll Fix It and Clunk Click for the broadcaster.

    A source told The Mirror: “The ­programme is the result of a very lengthy investigation, which has been kept highly confidential. There have been rumours circulating for years about Sir Jimmy from his days on television. But up until now nobody has got any victims to speak out.

  15. 21
    Speaking French says:

    C’est comme mettre dogshit dans votre bouche.

  16. 29
  17. 33
    I can't find my sunglasses says:

    This French twat a few months back was telling anyone who would listen that he was going to save the world by issuing eurobonds.

    Wins an election rushes off to see Merkel gets struck by lightening and then hey ho Eurobonds are off the agenda and are now a 10 year plan.

    When the summer silly season is over he and his Prime Minister with a suspended sentence for fraud in public office are going to be crucified.

  18. 34
    keredybretsa says:

    Eet eez zat vee ver robbed by zees Inglish peegs. Oui.

  19. 40
    Ah! Monika says:

    The French are more than 1 cent short of a Euro

  20. 42
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Ou est le papier,
    Ou est le papier,

    Hollande another frog with a Napoleone Bonaparte complex.

  21. 43
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Everybody hates the French including the French ;-)

  22. 45
    Anonymous says:

    What does it mean ? the only French word I know is Mierde

    Usually the only one I need

  23. 47
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Can we please have a nut case right wing thread about migrants and immigration.

    Mo Farrah – Born – Mogadishu, Somali.

    Jessica Ennis – Father migrant from Jamaica.

    Christine Ohuruogu – Parents, migrants from Nigeria.

    Murry and Coy – Scottish

    Louise Mensch – Migrating to USA

    Multiculturalism is alive and well, you fu*ckwit Neo Con Loons.

    • 50
      Moussa Koussa says:

      I do apologize for my hissy fit,i’ve run out of lithium.

      • 54
        boohoo says:

        Best hissy fit of the games so far was the Jamaican 100m hurdler who couldnt jump the hurdles when it mattered. Hilarious strop. Hope its on youtube soon.

    • 56
      Ethiopean swimming and rowing teams says:

      If only WE had water! ( and Private Educatshun )

    • 61
      What a Plonker. says:

      Moussa Koussa ,keep taking the tablets you loser.

  24. 48
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Arrrggghhh Bless.

    Are you all missing your Little friend and Dave bum partner Sarkozy

  25. 55
    Anoneumouse says:

    The “Europe pot”

    http://www.medaltracker.eu/

    • 67
      Johnny says says:

      The site asks: “How many medals could the EU win if it took part in the Olympic Games as one team? ”

      The answer is not as simple as totaling up the medals from member states. If there was an EU team it would not be as big as all the member state teams combined nor have anything approaching the strength, so the total medal score would be likely to be smaller. One EU cycling team per race rather than several member state teams, one rowing team per race, one volleyball team, etc and (presumably) there is a maximum number of entrants in the individual events that any one nation can send.

  26. 58
    The Paragnostic says:

    Danny Alexander, useless PR wonk economics genius, downplays AAA rating:

    http://uk.reuters.com/article/2012/08/06/uk-britain-rating-idUKBRE8750EM20120806

  27. 63
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    But when all is said and done, unless the Ching Chongs pull off the upset, this is what you’ll be hearing most of the time:

  28. 66
    genghiz the kahn says:

    There have been plenty of cases of the deluded having a Napoleon complex, but to date few patients have presented themselves with a Hollande complex.

    But perhaps Hollande is suffering from Gordon Brown syndrome, the delusion that more state spending leads to long term economic growth and prosperity.

  29. 69
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    He has some really interesting deficit reduction ideas:

    1. reducing the retirement age back to 60 from 62

    2. increasing the minimum wage by more than the rate of inflation

    3. employing another 50000 teachers in the state sector

    4. increasing family allowances

    Law and order is also something close to his heart too:

    1. Clocked being driven on the motorway at 160 KMH

    2. Failing to stop and pay at a motorway tollbooth

    A friend of mine was on the motorway at the time of the speeding offence therefore showing a contemptuous disregard for her security on the highway.

    After barely three months in office with no reduction in unemployment he buggers off to a State funded holiday retreat in the South of France.

    Quel con!

  30. 70
    Boris Johnson says:

    The EU would implement central planning for sports to avoid wasteful competition and deliver the same astonishing success that we have enjoyed with the Common Fisheries Policy and the Common Agricultural Policy.

    In year one we it would establish the secretariat with several directorates and a modest staff of five hundred. In the second year it would levy a tax on all individuals participating in sport and distribute the tax to its officials enforcing the European standards for running, jumping and swimming. In the third year it would outlaw any sporting activities not conforming to its standards and paying its taxes. It would make the IoC look transparent, incorruptible and benign, an Olympic achievement in its own right.

  31. 71
    Charles De Gaul says:

    dont think we have forgotten agincourt or waterloo perfidious albion! we will bleed your crummy little island for eu bail outs till it dies on anaemia so called eaters of beef. Ah spit on your so called arthur king and all his silly kniggets!

  32. 74
    Anon says:

    pipe is french for BJ

  33. 76
    Fred Parr says:

    Viva Grande Bretagne


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Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


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