August 5th, 2012

Olympic Golds Nix Mirror Man’s Jinx Meme

One man who clearly has mixed feelings about the Olympic gold haul yesterday is the Daily Mirror’s diminutive deputy political editor James Lyons:

He had been enjoying blaming sporting setbacks on an alleged “Curse of Cameron”, a meme which has an uncanny resemblance to the sporting Jinx of Jonah Brown popularised on these pages in the dark days of the accursed one-eyed son of the manse’s regime.

Mehdi Hasan took a break from cheering on the Iranian Olympic squad to join in:

Then Chris Hoy won the first gold with Cameron in the audience and the supposed curse was lifted. When congratulating British Gold medallists on Twitter Dave began casually mentioning being there in his tweets:

His presence in the winning of three golds nixing the jinx meme once and for all. As bad as things are for Cameron politically, he is no Jonah Brown…


  1. 1
    Well says:

    Why do people pay any attention to what the Mirror print?


    • 11
      99.99% of the people says:

      We don’t!


      • 37
        Medhically InSain says:

        How can animals such as pigs & cows win medals?


        • 40
          Halal Baconburger says:

          “The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not wear silk or gold.”

          Oooh, what an excuse! “We don’t win on purpose because the gold medal would insult our invisible sky-pixie.”


          • Ken LyingScum, brining the Bacon of Londistan (it's a wet cure) says:

            Better take me Gold rings an stuff off then


          • rentboy Dave says:

            Watching Team GB football lat night and Korean player Park Youngbum came up. Who knew that the Koreans knew where I would be and what I’d be after just hours later!


          • Anonymous says:

            This “Last day” you mention, I take it your refering to the conclusion of the Leveson Enquiry


        • 62
          Jacky Treehorn says:

          Mehdi hasan, who loves an invisble man that he talks to more than his own child.


        • 105
          Peace & Love says:

          Olympics Commentator:

          ” Yes, and the Iranians win bronze for wife beating, silver for Copt stoning and gold for………………”


          • Business Cat (specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

            Synchronized bombing should be an event! Good show in Iraq the other day.


          • And ogling other nation’s athletes. I wonder what the impact of the Olympics has been on the ability of the misogynist mullahs (both Sunni and Shia) in keeping their womenfolk under control.


          • Kevin McGuires Rancid Foreskin says:

            Full page coverage and encouraging ‘analysis’ in tomorrow mirror


    • 14
      A Daily Mirror 'reader' says:

      i pay atenshun 2 wot thay print bcoz if thay print lotz ov wurdz then it meens theres lotz of ink n that meens it mayks myie bum get inky wen i wype mieself wiv it.


      • 18
        I buleev all i'm told says:

        Wiv the News of the World, the Daily Mail, Mirror etc etc and death of the dead tree press why wouldn’t you buleeve anyfink dey sez?


        • 92
          Comrade Gordoom Brohoon says:

          That is Good Comrade!!!

          You therefore believed all I told you?

          You shall have one of the many medals that I have at my disposal, – and lest you say that us Socialists do not believe in Winners – let me remind you to look at the chest’s full of medals of our Soviet Comrades!

          Though they of course are for Merit and Bravery!

          I wrote a book on Bravery!

          You have a copy?


    • 19
      Twittering Dave says:

      But there’s no denying that Dave is a twat.


    • 26
      Gordon McBust Brown says:

      I saved the world


      • 70
        Gordon "Bottom" Brown says:

        My advice to our Olympic heros; wait for a 20 year low then SELL SELL SELL!!


        • 87
          V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

          Labour f1lth are in despair because everything is going against them. Maybe Tom Watson will leave his rentboys alone for a day to work on repairing Labour’s image!


    • 41
      Lord Stansted says:

      More to the point, why do people pay attention to activities undertaken by morons – i.e. all sport?


      • 322
        37 medals down, 11 to go says:

        Still looking for that elusive Irish medal. By your definition they clearly have no morons or are they all just working too hard for their bond masters to have time for sport?


      • 375
        Archie says:

        I saw the BBC getting positively orgasmic over the winner of the 10,000 metres. Would they have carried on thus for a white bloke? Just asking. Cut to Johannesburg and interviews with some incomprehensible black viewers. Ooops! it was Brixton!


    • 371
  2. 2
    Andrew Efiong says:

    These lefties are always wrong!

    Must be so confusing for them to see people cheering on the nation, waving the flag and praising excellence and elite champions.

    I’m particularly pleased to see Medhi Hasan humiliated once again!


    • 8
      Dick the Prick says:

      Peter Hitchens calls Mehdi Hassan out for labelling all non muslims cattle and animals and Hassan has, in his column at the Huff Pot written some illegible drivel to counter. All good fun but Hassan really is a duplicitous islamist of a pisspoor kind.


    • 39
      Hang The Bastards says:

      Who is Mendhi Hasan ???? Oh he was the bloke sacked from that lefty mag wasn’t he ?

      isn’t he just some radical Muslim who hates everything about this country.


      • 44
        Fish says:

        Sacked from the lefty rag, but now a BBC regular


        • 46
          Halal Baconburger says:

          Yet another good reason for not paying the license fee..


        • 379
          Ivan Agenda says:

          Cringing and totally hypocritical jingoism from sniggering schoolboy Evan Davies at the Games, and Jimmy Red Naughty at the studio on the Toady Programme this morning.
          It is a wonder they have not stated it is due to Labour’s efforts that we have been so successful.
          Four major restructures are needed to help get Britain on the right economic road in the medium term in order of priority they are, House of Commons; BBC; Banking; and the Unions.


      • 45
        That sums up all of them says:

        “isn’t he just some radical Muslim who hates everything about this country.”

        That doesn’t narrow it down very much.


      • 138
        AC1 says:

        Not much changes on the left..


  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    The curse on this Olympics cant be laid at any parties doors.

    They are all for the rich peoples sports day


  4. 4
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I wish the team GB football team all the very best in the 2016 Olympics.

    They messed up this time,rather like I have.

    If only there was a U-Turn event in the Olympics.


  5. 5
    Seth the pig farmer says:

    Just don’t tell Gordon about the gold.


  6. 6
    Boris Johnson says:

    “As bad as things are politically for Cameron, he is no Jonah Brown ”

    Rubbish,Dave is worse.

    Now speaking about House Of Lords reform…………..


  7. 7
    Mystic Smeg says:

    Superstition is for retards.


  8. 9
    Pissed off with Hypocrites says:

    Why are these Socialist morons applauding the Olympics elitist fest anyway? Surely under their model there would be, no winners/losers, medals for all, equality! Hypocrites! State comprehensive schooling for everyones kids, except their own who must have the very best public school education. Lowest common denominator Labour!


    • 34
      Saltpetre says:

      They have to support it because of the paralympics…without which they would regard the main games as elitist bullingdon crap. Lefties fit in pefectly with he paralympics when you think about it.


    • 162
      Four-eyed English Genius says:

      There would be plenty of winners, as long as they are not British!


    • 182
      Jimmy says:

      Under Labour, there are only winners.


      • 193
        The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

        Tell that to the long term unemployed in Merthyr Tydfil. That’s what you get for voting Labour for 60 years.


        • 380
          Pundit too too says:

          And still voting for Labour – you would think they would learn – would’nt you bach?


  9. 13
    Make the UK a land fit for fuckwits says:

    ……….Vote Tory !


  10. 17
    Anonymous says:

    Where is Gordon McSnot anyway ?


    • 20
      Everyone on Earth says:

      Who cares?


    • 21
      Muffled Voice from cubicle 3 (nurse outside door) says:

      Ah’m here ye skunna! – an’ doin ma jobby –

      Keep ma’ dinni warm!


      • 29
        Nurse Botha says:

        I’ve told you before, dear. If I can see your face, I know you are not using the facility as I taught you to.


        • 47
          Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

          MоdBоt is still in custody as we speak, madam. Prevention of Terrorism of course, a lovely Act.

          You mentioned yesterday you were having grave problems with him and it can all be added to the charge sheet, natch. ;-)

          It has helped my promotional chances no end and there is this nice bungalow near Saffron Walden that I have my eye on for over a year now. But we will lose it if we delay any longer…

          Just the place to bring up a family, eh?


          • Nurse Botha says:

            Thank you for your kind offer, Dynaplod. Is that your real name, dear?
            However, once the royalties start flooding in for the unmentionable pile of junk (I’ll call him DelDroid to avoid further deletions), I shall be looking to relocate to a luxury, gated complex near Sandbanks, Dorsetshire, complete with en-suite sanitorium, where I shall continue my work with the insane, deluded and confused.
            By the way, dear: When you are vigorously polishing your truncheon, does your helmet pop off? Do you have your own panda?


          • Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

            I used to swim down there in my youth, maam. Used to go and have a Campari and soda at the nearby Branksome Towers, but sometimes arrived after they had shut at 14:00 sharp on a Sunday.

            It has all gone downhill now, alas. Branksome Towers was demolished and they built more ghastly flats and Sandbanks is now inhabited by the likes of *Hаrry Redknapp* (would love to feel his collar…)

            Saffron Walden is a lovely neck of the woods, near Cambridge, close to where some of our illustrious posters here live. We would be in very good company. I could teach you my judo moves and you could put me in a half nellson. *coughs*

            Won’t you reconsider? A panda, maam? I wish! If I play my cards right, after a year I will get my own notebook and pencil…


          • Archie says:

            Cambridge: another town “improved” beyond recognition by “development”!


    • 23
      Lost in Space says:

      He’s done a runner. Sarah went to the Olympics on her lonesome. It is rumoured that he will show up at the Edinburgh book festival but didn’t Guido post that he had to attend an African court case?


    • 64
      Gordon Brown, full-time trouser-pocket-liner and (very occasionally) attendee at Westminster says:

      Ye daft buggers! I am still presenting a lecture series at NYU, the alibi for my trips to New York, which, now, due to my “UN Special Envoy” status, means that as long as I have “business” at the UN, I can come in under a diplomatic passport. What that means is that they do not search my luggage at Heathrow when I depart or at JFK when I land, which means they do not find all the undeclared income in the form of cash-in-hand bungs I get, which means that I can head straight to the bank and deposit those pound-notes and dollar-bills (euros if I must have to accept them) into my local on-the-record non-interest-bearing accounts in NY (hence no US tax), in several different banks, which are compliant with the Patriot Act, whence they are transferred into my offshore accounts, in increments far below the ten-grand USD reporting requirements, which accounts are trusts which own shell corporations through limited partnerships (Guido would know about this sort of chicanery), which I will access whilst I’m outside the UK in places like, e.g., Cape Cod when I’m in America. Have I hornswoggled all ye daft buggers into being fooled that I’m some sort of unstable maniac, or what? I wish ye well trying to prove any of what I’ve just said, and ye daft buggers all know what happens when I wish someone well…


    • 65
      Wee Willie McDonald of Glenshiels says:

      Practising for the Highland Games ? Tossing the Caber anyone ?


  11. 22
    cheche says:

    Is that the same Medhi Hassan who refers to non-Muslims as cattle


  12. 28
    Biased Broadcasting Crap says:

    I laugh at the lefties trying to find a new bandwagon – only about 5 years after the rest of the world saw that Jonah ruined everything he came into contact with (and probably even further back). Then when they think they’ve found something to pin on Cameron, they all promptly work off the same twitter cribsheet.


  13. 31
    Gordon Brown says:

    Someone bought me white underpants deliberately so that my skidmarks would show. I think it was Sue.


    • 38
      Nurse Botha says:

      If you would wear them under your trousers, dear, normal folk wouldn’t be any the wiser.


      • 156
        Gordon Brown says:

        Now that I have tried that, my skidmarks have formed a perfect image of Ed Balls. It’s a miracle!


  14. 35
    how funny says:

    Someone else pulls the same selective reporting trick as Greedo and he gets all huffy about it.

    ha ha ha


  15. 36
    Anonymous says:

    When is there going to be a prosecution brought by the Labour-appointed DPS Keir Starmer over the Mirror Group’s use of phone-hacking ?

    Or is that a silly question ?


    • 50
      CPS says:

      It is a given that any phone hacking on the part of the Mirror Group, or the Guardian for that matter, is in the public interest.

      That also goes for any other creative activities, including blagging, accessing HMRC, PNC or DVLA databases, and share tipping.

      In other words, bump your gums as much as you want….we’re not listening


    • 114
      Blowing Whistles says:

      Starmers ‘in-tray’ must be huge.
      He is supposed to be ‘looking into’ the collapse of the £30 million pound Swansea Crown Court Jury trial against 8 ex-South Wales Policemen… concerning the murder of Lynette White.

      But don’t mention anything to do with Captain Kirk … that’d get em all ‘flying off the handle’. Beam me up scotty.


      • 382
        Pundit too too says:

        Starmer is another disaster for justice as was the FSA.
        How on earth can they still have loony lefties in charge of justice and the law.


  16. 48
    Isaac Huntoo says:

    The PM ‘tweeting’?.
    What a sad wanker. Has he got fuck all else to do.


    • 52
      Ex Conservative Voter says:

      I believe he divides his time between Twitter, playing Angry Birds and giving as much money as possible to the EU and India (the latter being a worthy recipient of foreign aid, what with their recently-announced plans to send a spacecraft to Mars..)


  17. 53
    Little Lord Fondlebum says:

    Mirrors are banned in my homes.


    Nothing to see here – move along.


  18. 57
    William Hill says:

    One thing which has inspired me about the Olympics is the boost it’s given to Arab women’s emancipation. The sight of the young Kuwati sprintess, dressed in a purple morph outfit and pulling a hamstring within half a second of the start of the 100m in the preliminary round will have done more for Arab women than any number of op-ed slots from Mehdi explaining how the religion of peace is also basically a free pass for the babes to ‘have it all’…and the Koran is really just like Cosmo without the l’Oreal ads.
    Her injury was a fuckin shame tbh. I lost £2. If you missed it, it was one of those per-pre-qualifiers for all the old and fat fuckers from countries you’d never heard of from the opening ceremony when you were thinking “fuck me…is that an athlete…I could fuckin beat them”. Obviously, they were only here for the holiday and so they picked the 100m (no point in getting sweaty etc). Anyhow, I’ll give the Kuwati lass her due: she looked like she might be a bit nippy, though distictly agoraphobic…like she hadn’t been out the house in the last decade, which in retrospect should have set me thinking whether running was gonna be her thing.

    So I picked her and the missus went for some African bird who I didn’t like the look of as she was carrying a bit of beef…turned out she was like a fuckin whippet and the wife cleaned up.
    Thing was: I thought I was onto a winner because the week before, the fuckin Guardian had done a big inspirational “don’t believe the islamophobic propaganda” piece on her, making out she was the next fuckin Uasin Bolt. I’d been sitting there thinking I’d backed a ringer. So the moral is..erm…y’know etc


  19. 59
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Interesting to see the left having a go at private schools once again. Thing is it’s socialism under the Liebore party that has destroyed competitive sports in UK state schools (taking out Grammar schools of course that still do it) and replacing it with multi cultural gender equal bollocks that doesn’t motivate any kids.

    Also interesting to note (anecdotal) that most of the successful athletes seem to have a mother AND FATHER behind them, often fathers are the driving force for kids to succeed at sport. This again doesn’t play well with the men hating lesbians in the Labour party like Harman, Fatbutt, the Eagle bothers and the little boy Cooper.

    Then you have the teaching unions who for the most part have lost interest in the idea that part of their job is to motivate kids, just as the NHS unions have forgotten that the NHS is there to cure people not just fund huge salaries for themselves.

    When England won the 2003 Rugby world cup the NUT used a picture of them in an advert about teamwork. The RFU objected pointing out that for years the teaching unions had been trying to kill off sports like rugby in state schools.


    • 67
      Socialist Twat says:

      I would rather we didn’t win any medals if only white middle class kids are going to get them there.


      • 385
        Archie says:

        I posted earlier about al-Beeb’s reaction to that long-distance runner. Made their enthusiasm for Miss Ennis seem positively funereal!


    • 68
      annette curton says:

      The Nuts take on sport (and education for that matter) for the last decade has been that everybody should race to come last.


    • 69
      Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

      Nobody can be a loser you see…and not just competitive sport either banned…everybody MUST win in our state education system and be praised even if they aren’t producing satisfactory work. A friend of mine in the teaching profession told me that when marking pupils homework/class work that you must not use red ink or put a cross by the answer if wrong or tick by the answer if right or give marks out of 10 etc in case some pupil feels upset….


      • 72
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        State school kids are in for a shock when they enter the real world then, because failure is part of the real life experience, it’s how you respond to failure that matters.


      • 73
        R J Mitchell says:

        Might as well just shut all the schools down, really.
        Oh, no, of course – that wouldn’t do because then the left would have to find another way to indoctrinate the little dears.


        • 90
          William Hill says:

          Fuck schools. Give every kid an iphone with Laurie Penny on twitter feed. That’s enough self-indulgent non judgemental inclusive bollocks for anyone. The lucky ones who can’t read might have a chance of growing up reasonably normal. They might end up as gardners or scullery maids for the army of Chinese PhDs who’ll be running the country by then.


    • 91
      AC1 says:

      Schools shouldnt produce (gold medal) winners.


  20. 77
    Too many privately educated Olympians says:

    Lord Moynihan claims there are too many privately educated Olympians. This is the “worst statistics in British sport”, says the noble Lord.

    Lord M should know, of course, because he was…..
    a gold medal winning olympian coxwain from a city comprehensive school?
    ……er…….not quite…..

    “Moynihan is the son of Patrick Moynihan, 2nd Baron Moynihan…he was educated at Monmouth School…and Oxford…”



    • 88
      Blowing Whistles says:

      I think it would be easier to work out which MP’s do not speak with forked-tongues and hidden agendas because the majority of them across the board do.


    • 201
      Dick the Prick says:

      Gold medal winning coxwain?!? He’s the smallest dude the bigger boys found to chuck at the end of the boat more like – big fucking hoorah! Sounds like the perfect coxsucking politician able to lecture genuine sportsmen on what dedication is. Tosser.


    • 281
      Pickled Wizard says:

      And a f*cking cox! not exactly the most challenging seat in the boat. (Before you ask, yes, I rowed bow, so I could see all the others)


      • 314
        Dick the Prick says:

        That, Sir, was a most fucking excellent regatta. Never seen owt like in my life. Pure awesomeness.


  21. 79
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    Lady Thatcher claimed expenses totallling £535,000 since 2006.

    BITCH !!!!!


  22. 82
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I’d like to wish the men’s and women’s football teams the best of luck in their games against South Korea and Canada. Hope Powell, who is a woman, and her team, who are indeed all women, are an inspiration to every living creature on the planet, including myself, and I’ve just got off the phone to Stuart “Pid” Pearce. That’s them ____ed then.


  23. 86
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish planet earth the best.


  24. 101
    FFS! says:

    Is that the real Andy Murray???


    • 102
      Fuck Nose says:

      Who cares?


      • 103
        FFS! says:

        British sport fans.


        • 104
          Fuck Nose says:

          I’ll clarify my lazy reply for you:

          Who cares? He’s playing like a gold medallist. Happy now, FFS!?


          • FFS! says:

            I certainly am.


          • Jim'll fix it, maybe says:

            When the Wimbledon finals were on, somebody on here wrote that a “fix” was in for Murray to win the men’s singles being as it was jubilee year and all that, but he played so badly that Roger had no choice but to go on and win it.

            Now then, one wonders if, as a result of that loss, the “fix” was in for Murray to win the gold medal. instead, being as it’s jubilee year and the UK are the hosts etc..

            Having sat through the match I cannot believe how badly Roger played. I have never seen him make so many unforced erros in a match as he did today.

            Just sayin’, not accusing anybody of anything untoward.


          • Far Eastern Betting Syndicate says:

            We like sport. So do the sportsmans.


          • erm... says:

            roger’s game was unexpcted.has he lost 3-0 before?


  25. 106
    Gordon Brown says:

    My cum is purple.


  26. 108
    I do not exist. See for verification of my non-existence. says:

    Does my budgy look big in this?


  27. 109
    Mad frankies older sister says:

    Where is Ed.

    I assume there weren’t enough freebie tickets for him to attend any events


    • 119
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      He’s busy following the New England Patriots training camp intrasquad practices. The Pats came up short in the Super Bowl championship game and he’s hoping they’ll win it all this time around. In this regard, he plans to attend the St Louis vs New England game at Wembley on 28 October 2012 to cheer them on. That’s them fucked, then.


    • 122
      genghiz the kahn says:

      Was he watching the football in Cardiff.

      GB were fuckEd.

      Dave is still silver in the charisma and oratory events, runner up to Boris.


    • 163
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Our athletes were going too far and too fast ;-)


  28. 117
    Come on Team GB says:

    Well done Andy Murray !


    • 120
      the whole world says:



    • 126
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Murray is british today, while at Wimbledon he was scottish. My how things change!


      • 130
        Dennis Venusian says:

        Today, he belongs to the universe. And beyond.


      • 159
        Angela Merkel says:

        It was a great victory for the EU. Heil me.


        • 204
          David Camoron (one-term PM) says:

          I always heil you, my Fueherin! May I grovel your feet?

          Also, I’ve given you another £53million, today, my Leader. I will dutifully give you another £53million tomorrow. To add to the £255,193,711 I’ve given you since the start of August.

          I know it’s in Britain’s best interests.


      • 207
        I spy jock twat says:

        126you twat they all come from different regions of the uk but they are team gb Mcfuckwit dickwad. No one has mentioned anything until you did now


        • 240
          Blowing Whistles says:

          There is a lesson to be learned here – about how the PTB – keep themselves in control.

          They make sure that the Public are constantly ‘divided’ on hundreds of issues. It’s a simple trick the PTB (elitists / marxist / political classes etc) create the divisions among all of us taxpayers and keep ruling.


          • Divide the Union and Conquer says:

            Of course they do, this site for example is run by Jesuits who hate the UK since it curtails the power of Rome and the EUSSR. The clue is in the name/concept Guy Fawkes.Thats why many of its so called posters are anti scottish separatists.


          • Moving on says:

            As soon as they find water on Mars, all the powerful people will move there too. Earth will just be a bigger waste dump than it is now. You are a believer in the Vogons aren’t you?


          • Andrew Marr says:

            I’ve been diagnosed with hydrocephalus.


    • 139
      Ah! Monika says:

      Today’s Lesson.

      How to throw a tennis match


      • 142
        Wedding Cake says:



      • 143
        Gaz Chambers says:

        Fuck me! I thought I was cynical.


      • 171
        Why bigots are wankers says:

        Todays lesson. AH Monika has so much bitterness and bigotry ingrained , that they refuse to see whats in front of their eyes. Federer has won everything there is to win in tennis except an Olympic title and as today was his last chance he had every reason to throw the match, of course he did . Nurse !!!!!


        • 202
          Andy McSulkface says:

          WTF! WTF! The top prize in Wimbledon was £1million. The Olympics is och much more better! And what’s the prize? SFA! I cannot believe it! All my effort, for S.F.A.



  29. 118
    Jess The Dog says:

    Keep politicians a million miles from any olympic glory. They are like parasites.


  30. 124
    I don't need no doctor says:

    James Lyons personifies dumbed down journalism.


  31. 151
    Sir William Waad says:

    Dave and Nick have previous experience as Olympic mascots:


  32. 168
    chucked out of the pub says:

    The political grandstand, you will find just opposite the medal-winners’ dais.


    • 178
      Dave Figgley says:

      Ha ha, son. Ponces. If I attach one end of this chain to the grandstand, the other to the rear bumper of The Corsair, rev the trusty old banger to four and a half thou and then drop the clutch, do you think I’ll get a result, mate?

      Must shoot, geezer – spark plugs to be gapped, timing to be tweeked etc. for max performance.


    • 284
      m'Lord Kinnockio, Wind Bag to the Welsch says:

      You get on that dai noyo i know loys of dais don’t i gynnis i was only to glynnis the oether day wasn’t i glynnis that i know lots of dais i never have counted them perhaps i should what do you think glynnis be something for the dark nights wouldn’t it? dark nights? geedit i’ll be a night soon sir kinnockio they’ll and lady night i mean glynnis well deserved if you akedm after all i’ve done for wales anyway speaking of dais . . . .


  33. 169
    Sarah Twat says:

    Great to see the women boxers blazing a trail for equality and showing the men how it’s done, smashing each other in the bust area and giving each other breast cancer.

    I just love women who want to be men. Mind you, when they have to see the oncologist, I’ll be there, all self righteous, demanding an end to NHS reform, and blaming the Tories for lack of resources.


    • 279
      Sarah says:

      I love my Twat! . . . I mean my Twit . . . I mean my twatty . . . I mean my . . titter . . . I mean . . .

      I’m so confused . . . who am I again Gordon?


  34. 181
    Gordon brown says:

    I’ve made a figurine of Andy Murry with my bum plasticine.


  35. 192
    ranter says:

    How come that Mo Farah mozzy Somali runner can do all the Olympic stuff in the middle of Ramadamading-dong without making a big fuss and asking the organisers to move it all forwards 2 weeks?

    Just asking!


    • 206
      Derek Smalls says:

      On a practical note guys: Technically speaking, he was facing Mecca at least once every lap. To Mo’s credit, I didn’t see the magic carpet come out once. Other viewers may be able to enlighten me, though.


    • 239
      and the survey said says:

      Muzzie demands usually trump everything except money in the bank for Olympic sponsors.


  36. 194
    Let's Build 17,000 houses in East Herts for north London immigrants requiring proper housing says:

    What because something hasn’t gone wrong for Camoron suddenly he’s really ok and a few people have won a medal?

    Get real, the bloke is a loser unlike our athletes

    End of.


    • 198
      David Camoron (one-term PM) says:

      Loser? Far from it, old bean! By building 17,000 houses in East Herts for immigrants, my construction-industry chummies will make a mint (not least because they employ cheap immigrant labourers), what what!

      And, of course, I’m increasing immigration, so we’ll ‘need’ even more houses. Kerrrching!!

      And then those developers will give me an absolutely wizard backhander when I leave No.10. I see a super-paid non-exec job looming, what what.

      Haw haw haw haw!

      Toodle pip!


  37. 203
    Usain Bolt says:

    Is it ‘cos I is black?


  38. 212
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    Before their final glorious match, I phoned Andrew Murray and Laura Robson, who is indeed a woman, and wished them well.


    • 213
      Sarah Brown says:

      Well done, darling! More importantly, though: Do you think I’ll ever be able to live down that nasty, spiteful Ewaname calling me “The Beard”?


      • 215
        Gordon Brown MP says:

        Och eye the new! I din E ken wot u sayin, au hirsute love of my life. Have you got her number, my sweet?


        • 220
          Sarah Brown says:

          Yes. Gordon, dearest. Why does this Morrison’s bag contain a brick, heaps of someone else’s grass cuttings and a bag of stay-fresh lettuce protruding from the top?


          • Gordon Brown MP says:

            They were just about to close. I grabbed what I could. You do the fucking shopping next time, you ungrateful bitch.


  39. 219
    Greychatter says:

    Medals by the bucket load thanks to the funding from Everyone who supports the National Lottery.

    Lets not forget Labour voted against starting the Lottery when the Torys under John Major introduced the Lottery.


    • 228
      Mrs. Jack Dromey says:

      Ah, but that was before we got into government and could encourage an explosion in gambling to keep our client voters in poverty.


      • 260
        Ed Ballsup says:

        .. and just to make sure our client voters stayed in poverty, we doubled their rate of income tax!!

        And we have the audacity to call the Tories the ‘Nasty Party’.

        Mwa ha ha ha ha!


  40. 223

    Very poor attempt at creating a new reality from James Lyons.


  41. 227
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m the world’s fastest nail biter and bogie eater.


  42. 242
    Domestos says:

    Dilute at will. Should that not have been lav?


  43. 246
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’d just like to wish Βillу Βοwdеп well with his next wank.


    • 267
      47 leather-clad Village People extras milling around Soho Square fiddling with their Bl*ckberrys says:

      *put umbrellas up*


  44. 250
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will be reenacting my Scottish Highers mathematics examination on youtube prior to the mens 100 metre final in order that the athletes can benefit from my inspirational personality


    • 293
      Mr. Nobby Pickens, Acacia Ave. UB9 says:

      Would you like me to write the answers on your arm again, sir you useless c unt?


  45. 253
    Gordon Brown says:

    My new book on economic theory is 50 Shades of Brown


  46. 257
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    Before she attempted to defend her women’s 400m title, I rang Christine Ohuruogu, who is indeed a woman, and wished her well.


  47. 259
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am so happy we have a Labour minister running in the Olympic 60 yard dash


  48. 261
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have been shitting Everton Mints


    • 319
      Rendered Worthless says:


      • 325
        AC1 says:

        Q. How do you know America’s got the best healthcare?

        A. Because people go there to get treated, not go from the there for treatment.

        Only AIDS ridden Africans come to the U.K. for the National Death Service. Another wonderful aspect of “the envy of the world” which no-one’s copied.


      • 370
        Rendered Socialist says:

        “Public sector lagging behind private sector….”. He is advocating social democracy for a “nation” that is in no way capable of it.


  49. 263
    Speedy Gonzales......... says:

    Switch to BBC 1 for the fastest niℊℊer in the world contest!


  50. 289
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m making a guest appearance in the next episode of Poldark.


    • 300
      holding my own says:

      I’m going to flash-mob Jenny Agutter. We may cross swords, I guess?


      • 301
        I shag with my knees says:

        Excuse me chum. She is mine and has been for years. The first railway carriage is reserved solely for us. Go and give Figgley a hand with Elsie, he seems to be struggling.


        • 305
          holding my own says:

          I’ll beat you to her, old man. Had to google “innie” ffs! Tsk. Here I come, Jen…..


          • Dynaplod (up for promotion) says:

            Thank you, sir, for that admission to underaged hanky-panky, as she was only fifteen years old prior to that.

            Just put your hands through here. Thank you.

            *thinks. this will really seal my promotion and I can make Nurse Botha all mine*


  51. 307
    Figgley says:

    I’m fucking knackered, mate.

    She kicked back like a fucking mule. Still, no pregnancy worries there!

    *Goes to wipe knob on curtain but is disgusted that it swears with wallpaper, so picks a dish cloth instead*


  52. 313
    Cressida's Dick says:

    And the winner of the silver medal in the Omnium, from France, Brian Coquard.

    These damn Frogs really do believe they are God’s gift to women.


  53. 315
    Lefty News 24 says:


  54. 326
    Chlöe Sal Gerbeeba says:

    you’ll dazzle all and sundry with your ….. insatiable urge to understand, predict and deliver what people want from news.

    I know what I want from news and that’s truthful and accurate unbiassed reporting. Somehow I don’t think that’s quite what they have in mind though.


  55. 329
    The Treacherous Tosser in No 10 says:

    I say you jolly chaps!!! One naturally doesn’t care to boast! – but who else but your’s truly could come up with ideas like I’ve had?

    What?? Wattage??


  56. 336
    Don't be Vague - ask for a stupid €USSR twat called Hague says:

    Sometimes the enemy is in your own camp. He certainly is.


  57. 367
    8illy Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    *Heads for the clubhouse knowing he could have scored*


  58. 372
    Only in the Graun says:

    Curiosity rover has landed safely

    Well done NASA!

    Watched it live on NASA TV

    Of course BBC 24 showed nothing of it live, just ‘Olympic Travel’ FFS!

    BBC fuck off. Real history in the making and they ignore it.


  59. 373 says:

    The search for the Scottish one-eyed idiot continues.


  60. 389

    […] 9th, 2012 Bad Omen for Tom Daley Tomorrow The Curse of Cameron meme didn’t last very long, especially given Team GB had their most successful track and […]


Seen Elsewhere

Greens are UKIP for Young People | Telegraph
Short-Termism of CCHQ | ConHome
May Aide: CCHQ Are Being Misleading | Telegraph
Tories Planning For Second Election | Guardian
We Are Losing Cyber War | Fraser Nelson
Osborne Aide Lands Pay Rise | Mirror
The Sick Of It | Sun
UKIP MEP’s Welfare Hypocrisy | Channel 4
Rise of Angela Merkel | New Yorker
May SpAd Removed From Candidates List | ConHome
Clodagh’s Law | Press Gazette

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

The Economist asks Tony Blair about Wendi Deng:

“Mr Blair roundly denies any impropriety. Asked whether he was (at least) careless about his reputation, he says calmly that it is “not something I will ever talk about—I haven’t and I won’t”, and then bangs his coffee cup so loudly into its saucer that it spills and everyone in the room jumps. But did he find himself in a tangle over his friendship with Ms Deng? A large, dark pool of sweat has suddenly appeared under his armpit, spreading across an expensive blue shirt. Even Mr Blair’s close friends acknowledge that the saga damaged him—not least financially, since Mr Murdoch stopped contributing to Mr Blair’s faith foundation and cut him off from other friendly donors in America.”

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,641 other followers