August 2nd, 2012

Video: 50 Shades of Grey, Man
Edwina Currie Talks Dirty


196 Comments

  1. 1
    John says:

    what is all the 50 shades of sheds shit?

  2. 2
    John Major says:

    Would!!!

  3. 3

    AAHAHHHHHHH I CANNOT UN-HEAR THIS YOU EVIL ARSE!!

  4. 4
    The 'Real' John Major says:

    Have.

  5. 5
    robbie says:

    #1 three mummy-porn books in circulation whose Amazon sales have just surpassed Harry Potter. All read by pre/post menopausal overweight women. Don’t sit near to anyone on a bus reading it.

  6. 6
    SP4BS says:

    If its conservative politician themed mental illness weak then you’ve got me. I’m not clicking that, I’m Edwina-phobic.

  7. 7
    Ivor Biggun says:

    She’s as shite as a writer as she was as a politician.

  8. 8
    Jimmy says:

    Only a tory would describe sex as “thorough”.

  9. 9
    Philip McArthur says:

    Think he should have stuck with the plate of peas.

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    Slowly she loosened the shirt from the waistband of his underpants…..

  11. 11
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Another wet seat in the House ?

  12. 12
    Hattie Harperson says:

    Laying on one’s back and taking it, is demeaning to women.
    That’s why I’m considerate and let Mrs Jack lie on her stomach when I’m giving her one with the ‘device.’

  13. 13
    keredybretsa says:

    So the geez had his sticky jollies and the bird had a drop of vino, to take away the taste of…..wait for it…toothpaste. Ain’t it exciting?

  14. 14
    Rupert my Hero says:

    What John Missed ?

  15. 15
    As in .... says:

    … “seeing to” … for instance?

  16. 16
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Did!

  17. 17
    oh do keep this going . . says:

    and gasped! . . . for there, before her eyes -

  18. 18
    Dr. Henry Freud says:

    Many men are rendered weak by Edwina, every week.

  19. 19
    Sh!!! says:

    Don’t you mean ‘dry eye’?

  20. 20
    I type with my toes says:

    Well agree with you entirely that it is extremely weird and I have no *desire* whatsoever to buy the book.

    However, whilst on the subject, nothing that your mob has ever done could be characterised as that … except for a different sort of fucking – fucking up the country’s economy.

  21. 21
    Anonymous says:

    I feel physically sick : (

    It’s terrible writing, sure, and it’s delivered as you’d expect from a randy old slag, but it’s the fact that Edwina Curry clearly still thinks of herself as some sort of a seductress that makes me queasy.

  22. 22
    Riggsy Brown says:

    Thing is that she really believes she’s a hottie. Maximum kudos to JM for managing to get it up for that moose!

  23. 23
    I type with my toes says:

    …unrolled a…

  24. 24
    Jethro says:

    … or:
    ‘loosely, she shirtened the waist from the under of his waistpants.’
    or:
    ‘shirtily, she waistened the band from his underloose’…
    or:
    ‘bandily, she panted the loose sh*t from his waste under.’
    or:
    ‘Wastefully, she slowed the pant-shirt from his loose-band…’

  25. 25
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Saddos.

  26. 26
    I type with my toes says:

    HuffPo are looking for someone like you!

  27. 27
    Jethro says:

    17 Weak in, weak out.

  28. 28
    I type with my toes says:

    I had a real nice boner going before I heard that :-(

  29. 29
    I type with my toes says:

    I always thought those specs of his looked a bit iffy.

  30. 30
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have a book I’ve been writing for these last few years.
    Its brilliant.

    Here’s a snippet.

    “As that woman who seemed to always be about the place came into the kitchen, the cold scots wind blew through the open half gate door. Leaves blew over her slippers and and against her boilersuited legs.
    She had good legs, apparently. Good if she were a free standing bath or a planter trough.

    She moved across to the tall, powerful, manly Scotsman, sitting at the table. He was doing something brilliant and impressive to do with world finance.

    “oh..Gore-dan. i need you. I want you . I’m soaking at the thought of your powerful embrace.”

    The muscular and super-clever and very un-mong like man looked up from his genius workings.

    “Shall I fetch you a hot water bottle if you’re so wet?”

    “No Gore-Dan..I mean I’m hot! And quaking.”

    “A fan then? I’ve a leaf blower in the shed that might do the trick.”

    “No..you don’t understand. take me..Take me Gore-Dan..take me! I’m trembling with anticipation..”

    “That might be bird-flu. Luckily under the great brown’s stewardship the NHS has never had more money spent on it and waiting times are many many minutes better than they were in 1997..”

    “Gore-Dan..TAKE ME!!!!”

    “Ahhh, okay..I’ll get the car keys. There’s a union meeting on in 30 minutes. Voting on new resolutions and constitutional changes. We’ll go there. It’ll be mind blowing.”

    And he rose to fetch his hat and driving gloves..

  31. 31
    Jethro says:

    b****r HuffPo! I shan’t be content until I’m writing the Peter Simple column in The Morning Post, under Colin Welch’s Editorship…

  32. 32
  33. 33
    Hákon says:

    …multi-headed condom in bright orange with blue polka dots and, on each end, the reservoir was shaped like …

  34. 34
    Samuel Taylor Coleridge says:

    ..with my cross-bow
    I shot the albatross..

  35. 35
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    ..wіth my crоss-bоw
    І shоt thе аlbаtrоss..

  36. 36
    Yvonne from The Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    Every time I see that woman I think of her shagging my former Prime Minister and I want to puke up.

    She was supposed to be a Cabinet Minister. She knew the Prime Minister was the top dog and married. Yet she could not keep her hands off him.

    I think she should be stripped of her Parliamentary pension for conduct unbecoming. Can we start up one of those internet petitions to get something done about her?

  37. 37
    Chris Bryant says:

    Ohhh! listen dear. I’ve got a fabulous one. Idea I mean, you dirty hussy.

    I’ll put a private member up. ..oh you cheeky slut.its nothing like that at all, more’s the pity. I’ll get Tom Watson, you know big tom? Well, he’s called big Tom because of his belly, not the size of his majority. I’ve seen it and believe me dear, its a very disappointing find for a girl.

    Or,..oh and this IS such a hoot!
    How about I ask for a judge led inquiry into conduct unbecoming?
    Hmm Ohh I just love a good bash with a judge don’t you?

  38. 38
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “And if you want to know what happened next, you’ll have to buy the e-book…”

    N-a-a-h-h-h, I’ll give it a wide berth. One shag is pretty much like any other, in this sort of book; first he comes, and then he goes– isn’t that pretty much what happens? Do I need an e-book to tell me that?

  39. 39
    BBC mincing queen says:

    No no no, yet more honkeys winning medals, this is not acceptable. At least the worlds biggest commie said he enjoyed the opening ceremony, very communist and we even have Zil lanes.

  40. 40
    Bilko says:

    ..origami..

  41. 41
    tickled says:

    am I allowed to just say I enjoyed that?

  42. 42
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    You’re all drunk aren’t you, dear?

  43. 43
    The Paragnostic says:

    To be fair, when Edwina was Minister for Egg Panics, she did have a very pert arse.

    Nowadays, though, my heart belongs to Sarah Teather.

  44. 44
    E says:

    …wet and limp…

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    Ah yes, Little Jonny Major, the original grey man, no one had a wiff of the affair until Edwina’s book came out all those years ago, she certainly kept her trap shut till he was out of power, I bet some on this blog wish that if they had an affair the concubine would keep her mouth closed, a very rare quality in a woman.

  46. 46
    Roscoe Rules says:

    ‘John Major’s 50 shades of grey underpants’ By Edwina Curry

  47. 47
    Oh! Sud de Nîmes says:

    ..like a politician’s handshake..

  48. 48
    Anonymous says:

    Do you mean misted up

  49. 49
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Looting and shooting events start next week.

  50. 50
    D Blunkett says:

    There was a time I would have. But not now.

  51. 51
    Charles Marx says:

    I don’t wish to know, kindly leave the sage.

  52. 52
    An uninspiring old bag in Edinburgh says:

    How dull.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    It was his favourite colour, I think he like the colour green of his peas

  54. 54
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    Outrageous schlurrrrrr!

  55. 55
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    l thoughts, all passions, all delights,
    Whatever stirs this mortal frame,
    All are but ministers of Love,
    And feed his sacred flame.

  56. 56
    Alastair Campbell says:

    I’ve had her.

  57. 57
  58. 58
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    If you can’t write this sort of book better from your own experiences, then you might as well shoot yourself.

    (They never found out what really happened between me and Mary Evans)

  59. 59
    Growing old gracefully says:

    *shudders* Pass the mind bleach please!

  60. 60
    Hugh Janus jnr. says:

    …….”panting and cleaning her dentures he always felt like it was similar to f**king a bag of crisps…..”

  61. 61
    SaltPetre says:

    Dirty old slapper.

  62. 62
    Jimmy says:

    The skip felt cold and uninviting as I slipped my todger into the local, crack head slag. There was another couple of tramps laid next to us who had already passed out after a quick suck and fuck. I carried on thrusting mechanically, but had to fake it in the end, my thoughts more on the fact that I was pewking up a cocktail of bucky, deep fried mars bar and kebab.

  63. 63
    smugorwhat says:

    I could sense it was a cruel trap, and resisted hitting the ‘play’ button.

  64. 64
    Nonjob says:

    Excuse me, I think I’ve just cum.

  65. 65
    Jimmy's Mum says:

    Dirty boy!

  66. 66
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    That was a good night for him, too.

    Leave the lad alone. He does a great job as this site’s lightening conductor.

  67. 67
    Jimmy says:

    “There was another couple of tramps”

    I don’t mind the tramp thing but my grammar’s certainly better than that.

  68. 68
    SIR EVERARD PENIS Q C says:

    Well ok i’ll talk dirty then
    Cop a load of our wimmins hockey team , they could bully me off any day all far better looking than our butch ladies soccer team and they have baps

  69. 69
    Jethro says:

    In a masterful, but under-stated way, he felched the hat and driving-gloves.
    The bigoted woman was still there, so he reached for his Nokia.
    ‘No, Gore-Dan! I am a woman – a woman with needs…’
    ‘Ah, needs: we can see to that! I shall write a letter to your G.P.: above all people, a Doctor should be able to read my writing!’
    His insouciant laugh, with that so-typical reflexing of the jaw and endearing puckering of the under-lip, as he sat down again,drawing forth a fresh sheet of paper, and carefully selecting among his so numerous felt-tips (oh!) and crayons merely piled Ossian on Pelia.
    ‘Westcliff!’, she shouted.
    ‘Wycliffe?’, he questioned.
    ‘Heathcliff!’, she cried, tears moistening her face.
    ‘Northcliffe?': he was querulous.
    ‘No, no, no! Heathcliff: you Heathcliff, me Cathy.’
    ‘So… you’re not that bigoted woman, nor are you’ – he glanced down at his desk – ‘Sarah…’
    ‘Oh, don’t you understand – you, a man with a brain the size of a planet! – don’t you understand: there are things a woman needs?’
    ‘Let me be quite clear about this, and I’ll take you questions in order. First, yes, I know I have a brain the size of a planet; second, I know that a woman has needs, I know that men have needs, children have needs, sheep have needs, cows have needs…’
    ‘You Tarzan, me Jane…’, she whimpered.
    ‘But, just now, you told me you were Cathy, once I thought you were called Sarah, and now…’
    She was on her knees now. ‘Gore-Dan, GORE-dan’, she murmured. ‘You are a Bull. Gore me, Dan: gore me, Gore-dan!’
    He reassuringly patted her head, or her arm, or some other part of her repulsive person, remembering not to wipe his hand on his tie.
    ‘Don’t worry: if there is a problem to be solved, I will throw money at it until… but there is no ‘until': cynics (and bigots) say ‘…until it’s solved, or until the money runs out?’ The money never runs out, the problem is always solved. Now, tell me about these other men in your life – this Tarzan, and this Eastcliffe -because we will be able to help them too. Does Southcliff receive all his Benefits, I ask; does Tarzan need a Visa, citizenship, decent housing, for him and his friend Chimp…

  70. 70
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    however –

  71. 71

    I quite liked it.

    And a bit from one of mine “Temple Temptation” no 12 in my Rose series of Kinky quickies, published 2 days ago and already selling. It is set in Oxford.

    “As he continued to fondle my fingers and whisper in my ear, I could feel his breath tickle me as I desperately tried to figure out where, for time was rapidly becoming of the essence. You know, when you simply have to do it there and then. But I couldn’t not here. But equally I doubted that I could walk out of the building to a hotel or even a quiet wall with any dignity.”

    The thing about erotica as I am finding is that it sells well in the States, not so well in the UK. But that might just be me.

  72. 72
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    You are Polly Toynbee and I claim my 5 Tuscan villas.

  73. 73
    Lefty bolocks makes us all poor says:

    There was no stopping her now. She seized..

  74. 74
    crack head slag says:

    You were fucking pissed, remember?

  75. 75
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    It can take the singular, Jimmy, me old, dyed-in the wool, lefty nutter.

    Moral: before donning the Grammar Nazi jodhpurs and kneeboots, make sure of your facts!

  76. 76
    Lady Penelope says:

    She could stand it no longer.
    In a clear and strong voice she demanded of him..

    “Gore-Dan.Take of my wellies.”

    He followed the order, a little uncertainly.

    “Now,” she soothed, “Gore-Dan. Take off my cable knit seaman’s sweater and take off my overalls.”

    He did as commanded.

    Huskily she purred at him.
    “Gore-Dan..unhook my bra…And Gore-Dan..remove my Bridgette Jones knickers”

    He complied, uncertain of what would follow.

    “Very good. Now Gore-Dan…don’t let me find you wearing them again”

  77. 77
    Tony Blair says:

    Ive had Cherie.
    Funny what turns men in power on, isn’t it?

  78. 78
    correctum says:

    …but, realising her schoolgirl typo, she sneezed..

  79. 79
    yeah yeah says:

    A leftie would apologise for having sex.

  80. 80
    passing handyman says:

    ..all over his….

  81. 81
    Jimmy says:

    Good point. As you were then.

  82. 82
    Jimmy's Obvious Comeback of the Day says:

    Your parent’s should.

  83. 83
    Sir William Waad says:

    People who liked that also liked this:

    http://tinyurl.com/btwm6sh

  84. 84
    crack head slag says:

    And you never called, bitch.

  85. 85
    Jimmy's Dad says:

    It’s a life long struggle and I am truly sorry.

  86. 86
    John Major says:

    Fifty shades of grey. That’s me. Oh yes.

  87. 87
    Irony Gordon says:

    ..freshly-ironed GIRO…

  88. 88

    And now I point out my Jailer John series….

    (sorry I will behave now)

  89. 89
    Sir William Waad says:

    …..and Major is STILL the last Conservative leader to win a general election.

  90. 90
    Willie Whitelaw says:

    Over my dead body.

  91. 91
    Lou Scannon says:

    O/t (but inspired by a ‘seen elsewhere’ earlier today) :

     

    Have Lady Ashton and David Threlfall ever been seen in the same room at the same time ?

  92. 92
    Edwina Hotstuff says:

    Try not to do it again.

  93. 93
    Sir William Waad says:

    ….he grasped the trained ferret by the tail….

  94. 94
    Mitt Romney says:

    ..ignoring her protestations..

  95. 95
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Not as shite as I am. Does her daughter have a daughter? Boaz.

  96. 96
    Yeah..right.... says:

    …and demanded..

  97. 97
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Tell me this is a joke…

  98. 98
    crystal khaos says:

    ….to know why…

  99. 99
    My Life Already says:

    She’s one of us and just trying to make money.

  100. 100
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    I thought the toothpaste was the last straw. But I kept listening! Like watching a snake.

  101. 101
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Now that’s funny!

  102. 102
    Rambler says:

    …his twelve inch..

  103. 103
    Rambler says:

    Why?

  104. 104
    Yvonne from the Colliers arms Clydach says:

    You are disgusting.

    There should be laws to stop people like you.

  105. 105
    Anonymous says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    Please No

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Oh my god that was awful, just awful.

  107. 107
    Stiffy says:

    Come on guys, I’ve seen (and probably had) worse.

    Definate older MILF material and nothing a few tokes on the ol’ bong couldn’t sort out.

    Bet she bangs like a sh*t-house door too, gape, ass-to-mouth, reverse cowboy, the lot.

  108. 108
    Jimmy says:

    I told you. It’s the voters of Corby or me. You made your choice.

  109. 109
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    It’s Eton slang.

  110. 110
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Is it my imagination are all our medal winners terribly white and middle class? Fat Polly will not be impressed.

    Such a difference from the multi cultural shit hole that Danny Boyle painted last week.

  111. 111
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    …..people prefer petit pois?

  112. 112
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Keeping their mouth closed is usually the last thing most people want in a sexual partner……

  113. 113
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    A true aficionado of midget porn.

  114. 114
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Many of them were of a darker complexion but turned pale at the thought of the upcoming interview with Clare Balding.

  115. 115
    M. T. Culty says:

    Wait till you see the track and field team

  116. 116
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I think the others are all in the Wheelchair Olympics, dear.

  117. 117
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    Wot iz MOWB?

  118. 118
    crack head slag says:

    Don’t remind me, you never could keep it up for long.

  119. 119
    The BigitedBiased Bullshitting Corpse - never knowingly telling the troof says:

    That case with the effnics and the girls . . . . nothing happened . . . and even if it did, they were just helping the girls find a better life . . . teaching them deportment . . . . social graces . . . . the art of small talk . . .

    Now wasn’t that generous of them?

    We applaud them . . . more than that we CELEBRATE them!

    That is all.

    Get on with your work.

    Pay your Telly Tax!

  120. 120
    Conny says:

    Yep. You wanna fess up or keep playing? I don’t mind either way. I’m your biggest fan, whatever.

  121. 121
    Conny says:

    Well fan may be too strong a word.

  122. 122
    Hugh Janus says:

    You’ll have to do better than that, son…

  123. 123
    kfgngjui says:

    Some shouty commenter on The DT site. I think he got banned and eloped to Azerbaijan with Brendan Lacluster. They grew low-grade marijuana there for a while before being expelled and flying on to Mexico where they were spirited through the tunnels and eventually touched base with Igonikon Jack, USA in Baton Rouge who had been typing comments to The Telegraph for eleven days straight.

    His unwashed socks and Y-fronts were standing in the corner.

  124. 124
    jgm2 says:

    You know how they say TV makes people app*ear fatter? Saw Clare Balding at Heathrow airport a few weeks ago – it doesn’t (make people look fatter). She really does look like that.

  125. 125
    The populace of the destroyed country formerly known as England says:

    I thought the looting and shooting events were taking place on a regular basis throughout the year in selected boroughs of London and other major cities.

  126. 126
    Saffron says:

    The biased Beeboid lot,why oh why are they given any oxygen at all?.
    THIS BIASED BUNCH OF LEFT WING ARSEHOLES NEED TO BE GIVEN THEIR MARCHING ORDERS PDQ.
    Sucking at the taxpayers teat and their profligate spending is now obscene and now their programmes are becoming unwatchable.
    As for Dannyboy Boil and his left wing multicultural crap,I for one would like to tell him stick up you know were.
    Well done to our people who have won medals,and you need to look at Wiggo for humility if you want an example of what’s right with this country and what’s wrong.

  127. 127
    Team GB´s golden shower says:

    Talking dirty beats talking shit for a change.

  128. 128
    So Y is U livin in England? says:

  129. 129
    I really, really can't be arsed to..... says:

    She has a Major problem…………………………………

  130. 130
    I really, really can't be arsed to..... says:

    Did.

  131. 131
    Jungle Bunny says:

    It will change when the bush runners and spear throwers get their turn.

  132. 132
    Jimmy's Mum says:

    Has anyone seen our Jimmy?
    He said he would be back in for his bed time at 9pm… I bet he’s run off to that gay bar with Chris Bryant again.

  133. 133
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    You know I love you.

  134. 134
    jgm2 C. Wolfe says:

    Not a drum was heard, nor a funeral note
    As her body did John Major sully
    As he deftly discharged his farewell shot
    O’er the chest of Edwina Currie

    He fucked her darkly at dead of night,
    The sod, with his ‘bayonet’ turning
    Her arse inside out, by the moon’s misty light
    And her thick skull dimly burning.

    And so on and so forth…

  135. 135
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Is this like my Mills & Boon books dear?

  136. 136
    I really, really can't be arsed to..... says:

    You must be Scotch.

  137. 137
    I really, really can't be arsed to..... says:

    YUK!

  138. 138
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    What a lovely story, dear. My Reg, too, God rest his soul, was in the habit of starching his Y-fronts once a week.

  139. 139
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    What’s a bunk up?

  140. 140
    Honkey Tonk says:

    But our colonial cousins seem to have far faster bush runners and spear chuckers than we do. I think if we changed our baton for a stolen handbag we’d do a lot better.

  141. 141
    says:

    lol, Elsie

  142. 142
    Conny says:

    Yeah. Feels nice.

  143. 143
    jgm2 says:

    You know how it is that (say) Jade Goody or Kerry Katona or some other thick fucker thinks that because they’ve somehow become rich through some weird popularity contest that they’ve also suddenly became clever…

    Diane Abbott is the political equivalent. These fuckers, however they manage to leverage whatever angle they have, into becoming an MP really do think that they’re somehow also become intelligent. Yet there they are, rubbing shoulders with utter fuckwits like John Prescott, and it never dawns on ‘em that they too have somehow got lucky and are still the same thick c*unts they were at primary school.

    It’s kind of endearing in an confident five-year old. It’s also the reason the UK is fucked.

    It’s nice that Diane Abbott has an opinion. It would be nicer still if she had one of her own.

  144. 144
    Tony Bliar: "Hanging bankers is WRONG!" says:

  145. 145
    Conny says:

    You DID make my nipples stiffen!

  146. 146
    If you're going to be picky... says:

    Dyed-in-the-wool.

  147. 147
    Cabin Boy says:

    Better than a bunk down?

  148. 148
    jgm2 says:

    Igonikon Jack

    Don’t even joke about it. A pixel-hogging, byte-wasting first-pass at writing a script to data grab and defeat the Turing test.

    It’s probably an anagram of ‘I’m a c*unt’.

    Well, perhaps not, but I’m too lazy to stick it into an anagram solver.

  149. 149
    jgm2 says:

    I bet you wouldn’t be able to find a single banker who’d say that hanging Tony Blair (or Gordon Brown) was wrong.

  150. 150
    jgm2 says:

    A yank once told me ‘Our bl*acks are faster than your bl*acks’.

    He was right too.

  151. 151
    Strange that an athlete's legs should get stronger and stronger as they get older and older says:

    That’s not what the Queen thought when his reply to her message of congratulations was, and I quote…

    Fuck the Queen.

    Really. Humility and the foul-mouthed, arrogant fashion victim do not go hand in hand.

    I notice he’s started doing a Jamie Oliver, believing the hype, and is now demanding that laws about cycling should be ran past him first.

  152. 152
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    I know

    They are the most beautiful nipples I have ever kissed.

    And they seem to like me. I am glad. ♥

    Before anyone else says it, lets get a room FFS.

  153. 153
    Dial B for Blair says:

    So Kofi Annan throws the towel in as the Mid East Mr Fixit in Syria. Time for Tone to step up to the plate and earn his money as the region’s Envoy of Peace.

  154. 154
    Flabbott is Olympic champion at competitive eating says:

    It would be even nicer if she kept it to herself, along with her hideous face.

  155. 155
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    McRuin doesn’t have a driving licence so why would he own driving gloves?

  156. 156
    Sod's Law says:

    There’s no doubt that we drew the short straw with Diane Abbott.

  157. 157
    LiquidPaddy says:

    Thanks for all the giggles on this thread, hilarious peeps, nearly threw up me curry…

  158. 158
    Sal Monella says:

    As sure as eggs is eggs, she was right though.

  159. 159
    Father O'Blivion says:

    Igonnakum Jerk, USA ©E 1896

  160. 160
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Man on Waterloo Bridge. A DT poster.

  161. 161
    PC clitoris says:

    What a silly old slapper now know what to buy her for Christmas a new Dildo apparently its hard to tell her fanny and arsehole apart.

  162. 162
    Gordon McBraun says:

    Its fiction you imbecile.
    I can own gloves if I like!

    If you’re going to pick holes I can tell you won’t like chapter three when I’m reelected with a 600 seat majority!

  163. 163
  164. 164
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Politicians never last long if they tell the truth in this country. And then we wonder why they are so dishonest.

  165. 165
    Norma says:

    Are you saying that John Major is a Dildo?

  166. 166
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Breaking news: There has been shooting at the Olympics. Luckily we got a gold medal in it. If there had been a tie at the end of the last round there would have been a sudden death shoot-out.

    At the victory ceremony for the rowing eights, Princess Royal kissed the cox of the British crew.

    A limp (hic!) spokesman.

  167. 167
    Creative Minds says:

  168. 168
    albacore says:

    Now then, don’t you know when you’re being enriched
    All your critical faculties must be ditched?
    Even if you deem the whole pantomime risible
    Dissing Dave’s Big Society’s not permissible

  169. 169
    Frankie Howerd (Deceased) says:

    Edwin Currie reading erotica. Like shagging a prostitute in a multi-storey car park it’s just wrong on so many levels.

  170. 170
    jgm2 says:

    They all look hideously white. Was no thought given to this picture? Were there no enriching citizens who could have added to increase the inclusivity of this photo op? This would never have happened under Tony Blair.

    What, with last week’s caption competition with Ed Miliband and his hideously white nursery school backdrop (not even a token bl*ack ‘carer’ for fuck’s sake), I’m beginning to wonder if this isn’t a deliberate policy to try to steal back votes lost to the B&P.

  171. 171
    Paddy Powder says:

    Here. Try some of this…..

  172. 172
    jgm2 says:

    This is also the guy who, on winning the Tour de France, ascended to the podium and made some quip about drawing the raffle tickets.

    The economy is fucked. He’s got massive mutton chops. Bob Crow is threatening to bring the Olympics to a halt unless he gets more money. We’re printing money. The oil pr*ice is through the roof. The entire world is on IMF-watch.

    It’s back to the 70’s.

    Can flares be far behind?

  173. 173
    Rabbi Chaim Gunnar Kutsher-Dickov says:

    Oy gevalt, Edwina! A nice Jooish bubbe like you reading such chazzerai! All right already, we get it, you’re not an alter kocker yet, you’re still a bissel hayss! Still, why don’t you make like a nice Jooish girl of a particular age and retire to Boca Raton? You wanna schtupp? There’s plenty of eligible men of the Wayne Rooney variety living there– nu? Another Scouser just like you?– but you’re the one’s expected to have the mazuma, I gotta tell you, emmis! Plus, you can always have a nice tan so it shouldn’t be a total loss!

  174. 174
    jgm2 says:

    On the question of being enriched,
    My views aren’t entirely fixed.
    Having worked with stacks
    Of most excellent bl*cks
    And whites who’re nothing but pr*icks.

  175. 175
    Yvette Cooper MP says:

    Ed– pssst– Ed honey! Comb your hair– your real hairline is showing! It makes you look even more like Meat Loaf!

  176. 176
    ming says:

    she makes dildos go limp

  177. 177
    jgm2 says:

    Ken Livingson’s mayoral ambitions were fucked up (amongst other things – such as being a lying, tax-avoiding, J**-baiting c*unt) by association with Bob Crow. Unfortunately Comrade Crow seems to have sneaked in dressed in drag.

    Just saying.

  178. 178
    ming says:

    Kofi didnt last too long when he had to get his hands dirty.

  179. 179
    Law 4 all says:

    But surely Philip Hiindes deliberately falling off his bike so as to fail and start again is no different from the Chinks throwing their badminton games?

  180. 180
    not a machine says:

    Pissed again ?….. you will be receiving the bill shortly …..shouldnt use things

  181. 181
    are a machine says:

    Huh?

  182. 182
    The Soft Machine says:

    Sanctimonious git.

  183. 183
    Samuel Taylоr Cоleridge says:

    All thoughts, all passions, all delights
    Whatever stirs this mortal frame
    All are but ministers of Love
    And feed His sacred flame.

    Na night, darling xx

  184. 184
    Liam Byrne says:

    I am afraid there is no gas left.

  185. 185
    Well, Hush Mah Mouth! says:

    You probably can’t even say “sure as God made little green apples” for fear of offending atheists, or puritans who think you’re taking the Lord’s name in vain, or even worse, those apple growers who insist they don’t mar*ket apples that aren’t red or Golden. How’d’ya like THEM apples?

  186. 186
    The spheroid-free tit in no. 10 says:

    Gideon isn’t going anywhere. No-one can emasculate me.

  187. 187
    Nosferatu Cable says:

    Damn it! I still think there is something foxy about the minx – a far better shag than a young un?

  188. 188
    Northcliffe drop legal action against spoof Twitter account says:

    Daily Fail back down in stupid legal action.

  189. 189
    Eat's arse says:

    You’re not on about Elsie Beattie are you Hugh?

  190. 190
    Confused on the Clapham omnibus says:

    But Mr Gweed told us some timeago the Laws was just like him! Now I am confused.

  191. 191
    Way down upon de Swanee ribber says:

    Well, y’all, it’s breeding obvious why that is, innit?

  192. 192
    Why was he born so beautiful? says:

    Why are they all reading “Creative Minds”? What is Balls up to now with what looks like his Darby and Joan night fan club.

  193. 193
    Edwina Fugly says:

    Wouldn’t touch her with Charles Manson’s.

  194. 194
    Anonymous says:

    This is the woman who whored her biography off the the back of her confessions of adultery with John Major. Despicable woman.

  195. 195
    Anonymous says:

    LOL my thoughts exactly.

  196. 196
    Padre Pederastia says:

    There’s some rotten eggs on here


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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”


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