August 2nd, 2012

Fox’s Penance

One of the more curious reshuffle rumours that Guido has heard is the idea that Liam Fox coud be brought back as Tory party chairman. As luck would have it he bumped into the good Doctor last night in one of Westminster’s quieter watering holes. Mr Werritty was charming too.

Sporting a pocket sized Union flag, Fox was clearly enjoying the Games and was very on message about their organisation, but he declared that he would not be coming back to frontline politics for “at least 18 months”. He’s apparently recharging his batteries and would turn down any job offered. That’s that then Dave. It’s fair to say he’s up to something though…


  1. 1
    Mistake says:

    If Fox and Laws and brought back into government then coalition just as bad as Labour for rewarding dodgy people.

  2. 2
    Ah! Monika says:

    Meanwhile bring back hunting

  3. 3
    E says:

    *tunes in the find out what that fapping noise is*

  4. 4
    Moussa Koussa says:

    I wet the bed

  5. 5
    Kebab Time says:

    This is a cheeky Olympic picture I think even Guido and Neo Guido would like it :)

  6. 6
    I type with my toes says:

    1.) Why good doctor?

    2.) If he denies it, then it must be true.

    That is all.

  7. 7 says:

    It should be an Olympic sport. Bloody PC gone mad. When all that time was being spent ignoring what was going on in the banks what was the Labour party’s biggest priority?

  8. 8
    Alarm clock with missing l in crucial place says:

    It’s too early for you. Back to sleeeeeep…

  9. 9
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    I am still awaiting a few explanations from this person after his last run in with public service.

    I believe we have all lost money.

  10. 10
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    “Fox was clearly enjoying the games” Yes but not the sort of games you could put on the telly

  11. 11
    E says:

    You’re not wrong! I’m just going to watch. Is that OK?

  12. 12
    Selohesra says:

    I’m going to some of the beach volleyball tomorrow so fingers crossed for some of that – on the hole though I’ve been a bit dissapointed as the girls I’ve seen so far on beach volleyball have been a bit athletic with chest flattening outfits – was hoping for a bit more cleavage and bouncing breasts

  13. 13
    Nullbymouth says:

    Was Werritty handing out business cards?

  14. 14
    I type with my toes says:

    Mornin mate. Been down yer bronze mines, yet?

    Don’t forget you cannot use the word with a captial letter without risking immediate arrest and imprisonment with a superinjuction.

  15. 15
    SAS NOT!!! says:

    I shit the bed

  16. 16
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I can confirm that today I will have a meeting with Vladimir Putin and will take receipt of the cheque for Guido Fawkes.

    Mr Putin regrets that this was not posted earlier,and to further the good relations between our countries,Guido will waive any claim to interest.

    Good Morning.

  17. 17 says:

    Indeed. It’s not as if the Tories and Lib Dems have no principles like Labour, is it? We shall see. But then what harm has Labour having no principles done them? Labour voters don’t expect their MPs to have any principles. But they do expect businesses to have them. Odd that.

  18. 18
    Polly's Villa in Tuscany says:

    WTF is he still socialising in public with Werritty for? Unless it’s official and he’s come out.

    There must be an abnormally large % of ass bandits in Westminster. I blame public school.

  19. 19
    fap fap fap says:

    Is there a walnut crushing event?.

  20. 20
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    And you are ?

  21. 21
    Yvonne from the Colliers arms Clydach says:

    I have yet to see anyone trying to auction off any of these business cards on Ebay.

    I am very suspicious.

  22. 22
    Raving Loon says:

    The only Tory I really have time for is Dan Han, most of the Tory front bench are soppy wet liberals.

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    Guido just happened to meet Fox and Werritty in a Westminster watering hole just by accident, I think I have heard that one before. Who bought the drinkies then?

  24. 24
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    He needs advise on how to rig an election

  25. 25
    Hannibal from Carthage says:

    So Mr Guido does not want any interest.

    Is he a muslim I wonder.

  26. 26
    Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

    You don’t get many of those to the pound, sir.

  27. 27
    Israeli-fi(r)ster Liam says:


  28. 28 says:


  29. 29
    SP4BS says:

    I’ll guess: we did.

  30. 30
    Ed Balls says:

    In an attempt to become more voter friendly,I shall be cultivating as pair of Bradley Wiggins sideburns.

    I just can’t wait for George Osborne to do the same.

  31. 31
    alexsandr says:

    u missed the ladies gymnastics then?

  32. 32
    arse-bandit Blair says:

    save the bankers!

  33. 33
    I type with my toes says:

    Did you play Long Distance?

  34. 34 says:

    That’s why they are on the front bench

  35. 35
    SP4BS says:

    “bronze mines” they sound as fanciful as soup wells, but at least i’ve seen them on the telly.

  36. 36
    Mornington Crescent says:

    “…on the hole…”??

  37. 37
    Eton Arse-Bandits says:

    fagging, libor-fixing, cocked-fours – gold medal class!

  38. 38
    Anonymous says:

    It’s strange women go all shocked when you say you like watching womens beach volley ball, all those fit young ladies, lots of bouncing vigour, so why do women go to watch the mens beach volley ball or classy females watch male ballet dancers?

  39. 39 says:

    You’ll have a much harder job getting the working class accent right though.

  40. 40
    Harriet Haha says:

    …so will I, then.

  41. 41
    Selohesra says:

    Freudian slip :)

  42. 42
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    It may be down to a shortage of women due to Boris.

  43. 43
    Tonto says:

    Shit creek up paddle without a. No fuck. Forked tongues intelligence Israel. Wives English Assad. Printing Presses running. Little people stay little. Palaces stay big People in.
    Wiggins Brad my Hampton Court 10 o’clock.

  44. 44
    SP4BS says:

    I’m pretty sure Wiggins and Froome etc. have figured out how to sit on a bike properly by now.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    He is a good Roman Catholic boy, granted total absolution by the pope

  46. 46
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    Putin for Chancellor

  47. 47
    the heir to the Fettes faggot says:

    Speaking of arse banditry, I have so much in common with Bradley Wiggins, we poth peddle drugs.

    Oops, I meant to say I sold class A drugs at Eton whilst Brad pedals and is on drugs. Toodle pip!

  48. 48
    I type with my toes says:

    Your old mucker on the other end of the spitroast (who is a bit pissed off with things at the moment.)

  49. 49
    Backwoodsman says:

    ‘Its fair to say he’s up to something though’.
    Its fair to say that any benefit to the public from whatever it transpires he’s up to, will be purely coincidental.

  50. 50
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I’m recharging my batteries, dear, but certainly wouldn’t turn down any job offered.

  51. 51
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    He is the reincarnation after Schrödinger’s thought-experiment went horribly wrong.

  52. 52
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    On sky now A guy from the ECB trying to be serious with a Guy Fawkes mask smiling over his shoulder LoL classic !

  53. 53
    Gadar is your friend says:


  54. 54
    I type with my toes says:

    Two hot dogs, love, and a pint of Guinness.

  55. 55
    Labour MP says:

    Why is the government doing nothing to protect the jobs of those of my constituents who work in the defence industry by getting contracts in the Middle East, etc?

  56. 56
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I guess that is the benefit of an Eton education; cockney lessons every Thursday.

  57. 57
    Labour MP says:

    Have you seen the way they walk?

  58. 58
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    You forgot to say “Kimosabe”, which apparently means “horse’s arse”, as the Lone Ranger found out when he was 73.

  59. 59
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Mornin mate , you can’t be to carefull on here
    Too many impersonators

  60. 60
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Mervyn Kink is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask?!

  61. 61
    Concert goer says:

    Could you work under me?

  62. 62
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Get a mains-powered vibrator, Elsie, and forget all this NiMh nonsense.

  63. 63
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    The reward for all those favours for the Bishop?

  64. 64
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    That’s a bit hard on the Germans.

  65. 65
    E says:

    Not yet, darlin. I wanna have all my faculties intact before doin anything nice to them. Thought your computers was broke?
    Saw Zappa live in 88. Thank you god.

  66. 66
    I type with my toes says:

    I know. But they ain’t the only problem, know what I mean?

    (Im fucking angry at the moment but may cool down in a week or two.)

  67. 67
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    That depends on your inside leg measurement, dear.

  68. 68
    Raving Loon says:

    And that’s why I have never voted Tory (except for BoJo).

  69. 69
    I type with my toes says:

    Reread all. I did this morning… *nice*

  70. 70
    I type with my toes says:


    What a fucking joke!!!

    And he talks like a bender…

  71. 71
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    It is a long standing problem in the Conservative Party. You are faced with a choice of homosexuality or women like Theresa May and Anne Milton. Personally I would choose exile.

  72. 72
    I type with my toes says:

    Soup curtains are really surreal…

  73. 73
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Why not give him Hunt’s job? My god, these people make you sick don’t they Mr Laws?

  74. 74
    Ah! Monika says:

    on the hole…surely a Freudian G-string

  75. 75
    I type with my toes says:

    Should have measured it a bit earlier, love. LOL

  76. 76
    Ah! Monika says:

    With a moniker like that. You have to ask.

  77. 77
    E says:

    I, too, enjoyed it very much. Thank you. Now I’m going to sit here quietly for a while and stare into space.

  78. 78
    ed martin says:

    I sold the bed!

  79. 79
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Did you borrow that moniker, dear? It seems awfully clever for one so challenged.

  80. 80
    I type with my tоes says:

    А Sybіаn?

    І hеаrd оn thе grаpеvіnе thаt yоu hаd twо іn yоur gаrdеn shеd thаt thе mіssus hаd nеvеr еvеn sееn…

  81. 81
    Ed's Balls says:

    Is Werrity working undercover?

  82. 82
    Sir William Waad says:

    Do you have any evidence that Mr Wiggins takes drugs or do you just resent other people’s hard-earned success?

  83. 83
    Ah! Monika says:

    He’s taken the sledge.

  84. 84
    ed martin says:

    ere- wos wrong wif mockney jafaican anyway?

  85. 85
    Salvador Dali says:

    Looking for a town hall so I can paint it as a wedding cake…

  86. 86
    Ah! Monika says:

    See # 2

  87. 87
    Ed Balls says:

    We must not produce winners, and if by happen-stance we get a winner we must ridicule them so that others do not get ideas.

  88. 88
    Ah! Monika says:

    It’s Kitten on the keys.

  89. 89
    Salvador Dali says:

    Its called adaptation, dear. Now get your kit off and I will paint you as a bunch of bananas.

  90. 90
    ed martin says:


    party before principle

    self before party

    an eternal Verity?

  91. 91
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Sounds a bit like Guidos previous reshuffle tip from 12 months ago , predicting the imminent return of “David Laws”

    Guido likes to think he has his finger on the pulse, nothing could be further from the truth.

  92. 92
    Sally Bercow says:

    I tried a Sybian once, but it knocked all my teeth out

  93. 93
    Salvador Dali says:

    I’m going to do some real work. Laters x

    *thinks nice innie*

  94. 94
    Gardener says:

    I doubt he takes drugs. He’s just good at what he does.

  95. 95
    STD-NOT !!!! says:

    I am sure you have your finger on the pulse. You know that big blood vessel that runs up the length of your cock

  96. 96
    Salvador Dali says:


  97. 97
    as the Actress said to the Bishop says:

    I am right behind you.

  98. 98
    ed martin says:

    The punter in FISHER INVESTMENTS UK advert (on Guido at the end of the comments ) has quite clearly lost his shirt

    is he praying for something?

    I think we should be informed

  99. 99
    Nullbymouth says:

    +1 We could do with less corruption in UK politics

  100. 100
    Sir William Waad says:

    Fox was the fellow who decided to sack thousands of soldiers instead of sacking thousands of desk jockeys at the MoD (or a few of our useless generals).

  101. 101
    China's Badmincheat team says:

    “You have heartlessly shattered our dreams,” said Yu. “It’s that simple, not complicated at all. But this is unforgiveable.”

    oh dear what a shame never mind heh?


  102. 102
    Sir William Waad says:

    He’s right though.

  103. 103
    E says:

    Mmmm- don’t get me started : P
    *thinks* He probably gettin ready to knock out another one.

  104. 104
    Mornington Crescent says:

    I thought as much: should be an ‘i’ at the beginning, not an ‘o’…

  105. 105
    Gordon Brown says:

    I bought the bed as part of a PFI scheme

  106. 106
    Scary Biscuits says:

    No, that was Hammond.

  107. 107
    Silent *Bob* says:
  108. 108
    Moussa Koussa says:

    No reshuffle…Full stop. Stop speculating, will NOT happen.

    Any reshuffle of any kind is a mine field for Cockeron, so in typical cowardly fashion, he will sit on his hands, with his index finger up his hole

    Really looking forward to Putin frightening the Be Jesus out of him today

  109. 109
    Sir Aston Martin says:

  110. 110
    Scary Biscuits says:

    Fox is on manoeuvers. In 18 months’ time he reckons they’ll be a new Conservative leader. There’s a donors’ strike on an members are leaving in droves. Why taint himself with the current failing regime?

  111. 111
    Save Leyton Marsh says:

    Sports stars think their dreams are SOOOO important. Certainly much more important than anyone else’s.

  112. 112
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Clean sheets at £5m a shot. Yes, I did say ‘shot’…

  113. 113
    Simon Schama says:

    I own you, Asti!

  114. 114
    SP4BS says:

    Wiggins gave up beer. which is an astonishing sacrifice for an englishman, and even more astonisghing if you are australian.

  115. 115
    The public are fed up with our political class says:

    Why no njust give up politics altogether? He has nothing to offer the British public except his own ego and a dodgy set of morals.

  116. 116
    The Golem says:

    I don’t have any daft notions against killing vermin but to expand your point, Labour gave an equal priority to repealing the death penalty for treason and prohibiting the ownership of target pistols in the UK. Pistol shooting is an olympic sport, as I recall.

  117. 117
    Judge Dreadful says:

    Have they been to prison yet? if not, then they have not been rehabilitated.

  118. 118
    Only 10 days 12 hours 14 minutes until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

    Wrecking Britain?

  119. 119
    Why Westminster? says:

    I thought Boris said that we should all be working from home?

  120. 120
    The Golem says:

    Either way, the desk jockeys are being protected and the country’s military capability

  121. 121
    Cato Street Conspirator says:


  122. 122
  123. 123

    It was so that the law abiding middle classes cannot use fire arms to protect themselves against a collapse of law and order during the run-up to the revolution.

  124. 124
    Little Nell says:

    Bed? What’s a bed? We were so poor that we slept three to the coat hanger.

  125. 125
    Arghh says:

    ??? Why such a corrupt slime when integrity is what voters are looking for?

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