FRANKIE SAYS SACKED
Civil Service Reforms Could See Sir Humphrey Sacked for Failing
Francis Maude was much maligned by right-wing Tories during the opposition years as a wet moderniser, suspiciously tie-less and the éminence grise behind the Cameroon Policy Exchange think-tank.
In office he now wears a tie and has moved from policy wonkery to policy execution; bearing down on spending, battling the civil service bureaucracy, shining sunlight on government data to drive the transparency agenda. Maude is playing hardball with the unions on unaffordable public sector pensions and full-time taxpayer-funded pilgrims. It is enough to gladden the heart of Margaret Thatcher herself – whom he once served as a Minister – it has also led to a grudging re-evaluation of him by many on the Conservative Party’s right-wing.
Now he is taking on the enemy within, the Civil Service permanent government, or in the case of Michael Gove’s Department for Education, the permanent opposition. The ability of the mandarinate to frustrate radical policies is legendary and their talent for generating inertia defies the laws of physics. In the ideological heart of many Thatcherites and Orange Bookers is a belief that the bureaucracy could be reduced, the government re-engineered and improved. Quietly the Coalition will by 2015 have reduced the size of the Civil Service by 23% from the bloated days of Gordon Brown. The first step on the path to a post-bureaucratic government is making bureaucrats accountable and sackable when they fail to deliver.
Big Business has used the internet to strip out costs and whole layers of management, Big Government has barely started to do the same. Sir Humphrey and the rest of the mandarins have decades of experience in fighting Civil Service reform, they will fight these reforms every step of the way with cunning and subtlety rather than head on. They even have their own privately funded think-tank, the Institute for Government, possibly the most dangerous political force in Britain since the heyday of the Communist Party of Great Britain. The long-term gain from reforming and shrinking the Civil Service is immense, it was the area where the Blairite’s self-acknowledged failure was total. The prize is worth having at any cost.
Turkeys will never vote for Christmas.
You cannot possibly read the article before posting you huhne
Am I really awake…. Hospitals getting cleaned, Mandarins getting the boot? Is this real? Gold medal?
Hospitals!
Cleaned??
I left my Hospital clean and well run.
What happened ?
What happened? You left Old Matron, & the wards & nursing standards have declined as a result of your departure. That’s what happened.
Is this a CCHQ press release? Francis Maude? Being effective? Give over, I’m still waiting for that Bonfire of the Quangoes we were promised.
Another day, another promise – typical useless fucking Tories!
Whatever anonymong, whatever!
Exactly, I’ll believe it when I see it. I don’t think this government has the courage or inclination to take on the entrenched interests of the nation’s permanent government.
I think I have just seen Prescott circling Hull in a holding pattern
Probably just a blimp over a car dealer
Hes still looking for his new bride
Too many baked beans for breakfast! – try puncturing the fucker with an arrow
“Big Business has used the internet to strip out costs and whole layers of management”
Big Business will use any excuse to rip off people and [sack] large groups of workers.
There, fixed that for you.
Is that why the private sector (and mainly big business) has taken on 500,000 workers since 2010? And they would take on a lot more from the bloated unproductive public sector but for big government that wants to squeeze the life out of businesses and so force many more ordinary workers into unemployment.
If business is so easy why don’t the dickheads who keep complaining about it start up their own? Or are they just what many think – ignorant, lazy, greedy, huhnes.
Businesses are there to make money, not employ ‘workers’.
Not according to me
You’re damn right they are.
Your employer does not exist for your sake.
People only get ripped off if they allow others to do it to them
I like it.
Next stop, local government. Some serious re-engineering desperately needs to take place here. Then drastically reduce council extortion bills, keeping a larger amount of peoples wages in their own pockets to spend in the real world.
This is terrible!! We’re short staffed as it is!
How will we keep providing all the Mandatory Attendance Lectures and Study Days?
How will we ensure all the new regulations are in place?
How will we enforce Protocol Regimes?
How will we check all procedure packs?
How will we prepare all our free broad sheets for putting through every door 4 times a year in 30,000 different langwidges?
Tell us that!!!
Oh Gordo – when will you return? When will your beaming face light up our lives?
“How will we prepare all our free broad sheets for putting through every door 4 times a year in 30,000 different langwidges?”
We get our local council socialist propaganda broadsheet weekly, along with all the deluge of other local kebab hose and subcontinent restaurant printed crap, delivered by those crucial foreign workers.
You don’t live in St*ke do you Zoro?
Every other shop in the entire City is either Kebabs or P*ki nosh.
They do have the odd Poundland & Charity shop though.
The place stinks!
Do it from Hell, where you all belong!
Shall I wish Francis Good Luck?
I hope these reforms and accountability don’t apply to Local Government or there will be no one left in Portsmouth. Boaz.
Sad to say, I think it would take at least three terms to turn Whitehall around .
Never! Just let me loose and they’ll turn themselves!
The firing squads would have to work hard, but a good beginning could be made by the next election, if they have a good supply of ammunition.
I’d like to see them using free and open source software to cut costs too, as well as the internet. How much do we waste on software that has free alternatives? MS Windows and Office for instance.
I used to think that, back in the 90s, but to be fair Office 2010 is lightyears ahead of OpenOffice3, and as good a Ubuntu Linux may be, if it doesn’t run the applications you need to run (see Office 2010, above), your PC ceases to be a productivity tool and simply becomes the lump of circuits that says “no”.
It is light years ahead, if you use all the features.
For most goverment office users, it wouldn’t make any difference. The document content would still be rubbish.
Anyone seen using Excel for anything other than an actual spreadsheet should be taken out a shot.
most users don’t use 910% of the features in office, so open office would suffice.
I use open office and it does all i need it to do.
real data should be in a proper database on a secure server, not in mickey mouse spreadsheets anyway.
Exactly. At one place I worked we had a “amnesty” on Excel and Access applications and we did our best to get rid of them all.
The Horror, The Horror.
It might be a good idea giving government departments applications that only do what they need, especially if they are free.
95% of Excel use is people making lists of stuff. That’s it.
If you’re really lucky someone might include a total column and use the filters every now and then.
This is outrageous.
These cuts are too far and too fast.
Bring back the Quangos !
Sorry old chap.
Still on the beach government conference on wave power generation in Hawaii.
Ignore that beach bit.
Its very hard work here. Hours of guest wafflers and the leafles are unusually heavy
Sorry old boy! Better not read any further down if I were you.
G&T, is it? Large one?
What about a culling of quangos? 10% of them should be simply shut down.
Every month.
Good guide to priorities:
That’s all. carry on.
If I cared I would do as you say
Indeed. Quite agree.
But…is this the right time minister? What about at a more appropriate juncture? In the fullness of time?
Don’t worry, Bill. When the debt is entirely eliminated, we can look at resurrecting yours. Should not take too long – if we stick to our guns. Why not extend your stay in Hawaii by a couple of decades? There are compensations as I am sure you are aware…
“Socialism would gather all power to the supreme party and party leaders, rising like stately pinnacles above their vast bureaucracies of civil servants no longer servants, no longer civil.”
Sir Winston Churchill. (1946 HC speech!)
How right he was.
Sack the useless ones, yes. But not, not, not political appointees at the top. You will get people who have no idea of anything, but who happen to be pals of ministers.
If we had had political appointees a dozen years ago, Gordon Brown would have made Ed Balls permanent secretary at the Treasury.
I thought Dave said Twitter was for Twats?
“leh’ me ‘een, yer ijeets. Dinnae ye ken, ah’m the Praem Mineister so I arm.
Nar leet me in or i’ll bash yer brains in wi’ ma phone.”
Something about “Burntisland” and “oil platform” doesn’t sound right when juxtaposed:
I was thinking that. Is it “burnt island” or “burntis land”?
So it wouldnt have been signed if that clucking funt hadnt turned up as a witness?
He was there to wish them well.
And it next week’s news, “350 jobs were lost today when EU Environmental and Health and Safety regulations forced the closure an oil platform in Fife. In a statement to the press, David Cameron said, “Bum.” “
For that I read: PM stands still and just watches business people doing their job. Government will collect tax revenue for doing absolutely nothing.
Just as they should.
Burntisland is just down the road from Gordon, He can see it from his front room window. Dave was risking life and Limb by going there.
But as Gordon failed to turn up to the Olympics with Sarah perhaps he’s left the country and is teaching in an African school.
Ah’ am.
listen tae me yer wee pygmies.
1 x 1 is 4
4 x 4 is tax credits error of 3 billion.
3bn x 3bn is vote rigging
Institute for Government – what an effing shower. Most of them know nothing about government or governance. It looks more like a twilight home for hopeless ex-mandarins and what the old Labour Exchange used to call “difficult prospects to place”.
Reduction in size of civil service is spin. They are just privatizing bits and claiming a reduction.
probably claiming a bonus too.
How about cuttting entire departments? International development, Sport and Media? Leave the EU? Bring the troops home from overseas? If the government really wanted to, the could cut spending, they just don’t want to.
The governments primary mandate is to protect the country and maintain law and order. To perform, all that’s needed is Treasury, MOD & Home office. The rest are all b*llox.
Of course they don’t want to cut expenditure. Government expenditure, and more borrowing to pay for even more of it, is how they buy support. None of them will dare upset the benefits-junkies, the bureaucrats or the big corporations until the whole financial, political and social system collapses. Then, those at the top will hope to have stolen enough money, and bought enough friends to be able to survive the chaos.
Prescott is setting up an online HelpDesk targeted at individuals who have difficulties choosing breakfast items in buffet situations
Prescott has identified that during the 5 item selection process it is often the fifth item choice that causes severe mental stress
Prescott normally advises the “Purdey” approach where the chooser double barrels the breakfast increasing capacity to 10 items
The Purdey
2 fried eggs
3 sausage
2 bacon
1 beans
1 fried bread
1 black pudding
My 5 items are :
2 sausages
1 bacon
34 toast
6 eggs
75% jam
3,000,000 pints of milk.
And what about all the effing unaccounatbel quangos? They’re the real problem.
Frankie made a bonfire of them. Haven’t you heard?
The guy is useless, the mandarins will piss all over him
Holiday shrill list.
Over exaggeration bedwetting special edition
{Filed from the sun lounger.}
Mon. Tories have 100% privatised the NHS, police,army, schools and border controls
Tue. Labour would end poverty by 2013 says .. Sally Bercow
Wed. Fat cat bankers only paid 1p income tax in 2000-2012
Thur. Benefits of £39,000 are not enough to feed family of 3
Fri. 100% starvation in Tory run council areas by 2015
Fill in Saturday’s yourselves from any of the words in Monday-Fridays
I have always considered Maude a complete wet, but, brother, can he really do it, sort out those Sir Humphries?
My heart felt thanks are on there way, maybe!
Cameron will probably think you are too dangerous and reshuffle you in the autumn.
maybe someone should do a headcount and think if we need a cabinet secretary.
We have a special offer on Cabinet secretaries all this month.
Best plan to reduce the Civil Service would be to tell each department they’re moving to Bradford.
Faced with that prospect, around 75% of the precious pen-pushers will jump ship without redundancy, the remaining 25% have the right background to blend in with the natives.
And there’s plenty of room for them in Bradford – it’s still got a bloody great big hole in the middle where the shops used to be.
Sorted.
“in the case of Michael Gove’s Department for Education, the permanent opposition”
Obviously because the civil servants are not uneducated, ignorant, thick cυnts systematically lying about facts for the benefit of the rapacious interests of rich foreign plutocrats.
Of course, if anyone except the Conservatives did anything like this it would be dictatorship.
“Big Business has used the internet to strip out costs and whole layers of management, Big Government has barely started to do the same. ”
debatable, and you might want to use the word intranet instead
With a bit of luck he’ll have paved the way for political perm secs just in time for the next election.
What are these wonderful new policies which the wicked Civil Serpents are preventing? Has anyone seen one? If so, could they call Dave (while calling him Dave, natch)?