July 27th, 2012

Friday Caption Contest (Ed Ball Edition)


  1. 1
    Kebab Time says:

    “Thats not a Rubick cube”

  2. 2
    Deep Froat says:

    “The mists are clearing..I see a long and miserable future as a back bench MP ahead of me.”

    Well let’s hope so eh?

  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Miliband meets his match.

  4. 4
    Charles Flaccidwidger says:

    Yet another group looking at Balls open mouthed.

  5. 5
    Jonathan says:

    Now Johnny, go and get the ball from … errr … Mr Leader

  6. 6

    “Support HS2 – really *really* useful engines.”

  7. 7
    Andrew Efiong says:

    “I keep trying to reach Balls but he never returns my calls”

  8. 8
    tom says:

    sorry i cant touch it! it’s not an ASLEF member!

  9. 9

    Ed always was upstaged by Balls

  10. 10
    Observer says:

    Little boy to woman: leave him alone, the silly prat has self hypnotised himself on my Thomas the tank engine ball.

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    Mummy,tell Wallace to give me my ball back.

  12. 12
    Fuck Nose says:

    First time I’ve managed to get Thomas in the hole this year.

  13. 13
    Nobutakashi says:

    “I always said Balls was a Tommy Tanker”!

  14. 14
    Wes Snipes @ Millbandwagon says:

    White Men can’t Jump!

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Look son, no matter how hard he tries he has no control over Balls.

  16. 16
    SP4BS says:

    Ark of the covenant found in thomas the tank engine ball.

  17. 17
    I Squiggle says:

    Mummy, is that Mr Leader?

  18. 18
    Charlie says:

    Mummy. Why is this tramp hassling us?

  19. 19
    Martin says:

    If I really focus – it moves, honestly !

  20. 20
    Steve Miliband says:

    With the help of an expert, Miliband thinks he has found the ‘black hole’ where all the money went

  21. 21
    Steve Miliband says:

    Nerd still bullied in the playground

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    “look into my eyes!!!”

  23. 23
    I Squiggle says:

    Over in the bushes, David Miliband, adds three clicks to the sights, and takes aim at the balloon..

  24. 24
    David B says:

    You are feeling sleepy …..

  25. 25
    Mystic Ed says:

    No madam. Any ball will do. I see ….er …. I see …er… my brother as next PM, FFS? This ball isn’t working properly.

  26. 26
    I Squiggle says:

    I declare this conference.. OPEN!!

  27. 27
    The insane waste of money ends in 16 days 08 hours 46 minutes. Yay! says:

    Mummy! Mummy! Grab the ball off that man before he covers it in dribble!

  28. 28
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    Vacant Ned proves he can’t even grab a Thomas Tank

  29. 29
    Shikan says:

    Ed was asked by the Red Sox to spend time in the minor leagues first

  30. 30
    Forkbender says:

    Eddy: you see that be grumpy one on the ball, that’s Gordon!

  31. 31
    Patrick says:

    “Polly, the Guardian’s wrong on this. The earth’s round like a ball -not flat.”

  32. 32
    erm... says:

    he tries to perform magic….but the ball ain’t4turning.

  33. 33
  34. 34
    lolathebeautiful says:

    Kindergarten playground the appropriate place for the juvenile little twerp.

    Christ, what a pathetic shower our politicians are.

  35. 35
    Old Canute says:

    “Listen sonny, if you say that you want to play with plasticine, one more time………..”

  36. 36
    Raving Loon says:

    Mr Balls meets Mr Leader.

  37. 37
    Mummy says:

    So, Mr Ed. Under Labour’s “Building for Britain plan”, we’ll be re-housed in a full-scale version of this?

    EM: This IS the full-scale version.

  38. 38
    Plato says:

    The MILF is a bit dressed up?

  39. 39
    Biscuit Daddy says:

    Once again, Ed still fails to grasp the fact that he can’t force a round object into a square hole.

  40. 40
    UKIP.i.am says:

    OMG! Thomas the Tank isn’t the official sponsor of this play group. I shall have to destroy it. Destroy! Exterminate! Exterminate!

  41. 41
    The insane waste of money ends in 16 days 08 hours 35 minutes. Yay! says:

    Coffee.. screen..

  42. 42

    “Unite is my Fat Controller.”

  43. 43
    Ivy Baton-Round says:

    I’ve dropped another stitch.

  44. 44
    Patrick says:

    Ed explained how Labour taxation worked by taking the boy’s ball off him.

  45. 45
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Ballth gone too far too fatht

  46. 46
    Milliband the Savant says:

    Look at Mr Levitator, is he one the Floptastic Four?

  47. 47
    Patrick says:

    After Westminster, Ed found the real world to be strange and troubling.

  48. 48
    David R says:

    “So I take the ball, and give it to my friends in the union and then we’ll take your replacement ball and call it growth”

  49. 49
    Rat's arse says:

    I’m going to have a ball with this new bandwagon.

  50. 50
    Patrick says:

    “Mummy, is he feeling a right tit like me?”

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    Pity – I was hoping for a” Jeremy Hunt – Bell End”, caption comp.

  52. 52

    Mummy’s going down the Ffarquhar branchline.

  53. 53

    Twat Controller shocked at inflation

  54. 54
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “See, when I was a little older than you are, I used to imagine I was playing for Boston Celtics, and this shot would be called a ‘lay-up’…the only ‘slam dunk’ right now is, compared to Romney, I appe*ar fairly intelligent and reasonable…”

  55. 55

    Points failure at Effingham Junction.

  56. 56
    illogical says:

    How times change. Play School 1980 had Brian Cant.
    Play School 2012 has Brainless C*nt.

  57. 57
    Ghost of Greg Stone says:

    At least Thomas has friends.

  58. 58

    Jimmy is my Fat Cun troller

  59. 59
    Fish says:

    My God…It’th a thine. My nextht bandwagon apearth before me…nathionalithe the railwaiths.

  60. 60
    Blowing Whistles says:

    I refuse to enter the Cap Comp this week but I am going to Award a ‘virtual prize’ for the entry considered the best – by sunday 5:00PM.

    The virtual award this week is a brand new ferrari. The winner can therefore zoom around in the car anywhere on the planet – in their own mind and dreams.

  61. 61
    The Sleeper says:

    Is the woman in the red top in the background grabbing that blokes nadgers?

  62. 62

    Ed’s control of Balls is tanking.

  63. 63
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    You mutht not call him the Fat Contwoller, Thomath. That ith not politically cowwect!

  64. 64
    Procrustes says:

    Yes, money can be created from thin air, just like this £20 note…..oh f**k!

  65. 65

    Ed’s condom making machine is finalised too late to prevent a population explosion.

  66. 66
    jgm2 says:

    Everybody gasped in horror when they realised just how hideously white this photo opportunity was.

  67. 67

    Kid: Fuck off Ed! Your ham acting fools no one. I caused that ball to lift.

  68. 68
    Grollace says:

    My other Cojone is in my trousers.

  69. 69
    Gonk says:

    Ed takes the Bercows out for an away day.

  70. 70
    Anti Fabian says:

    There’s Peter the Orange Engine, Ed the Red Engine, Mandy the Pink Engine, Gordon the Mad Engine …

  71. 71
    Ivy Baton-Round says:

    ..and another.

  72. 72
    Steve Miliband says:

    The Ed Miliband Fan club enjoys a day out at the park.

  73. 73
    Ivy Baton-Round says:

    …there goes another.

  74. 74
    Spartacus says:

    liked that

  75. 75
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘Beam me up and away from here, Balls.’

  76. 76
    jgm2 says:

    Ned Miliband felt more at ease with his fellow bedwetters.

  77. 77
    Mother says:

    Boys play nicely! This game is wrong when negotiations about the ball are under-way. Ed you’ve acted in a reckless and provocative manner and you should set aside the rhetoric and get around the negotiating table to stop this happening again

  78. 78
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    Good prize , babes !!!

    After they’s paid off their imaginary speedin fine an parked up , they can come to my imaginary yacht an fuck my brains out , can’t they ??

    I’s gonna watch this space wiv interest and keep one eye on my computer screen an all , ain’t I ??

  79. 79
    gramma says:

    No sweetheart. Your confused. The man is doing his Tommy Cooper ‘Just like that’ impression .
    Yvette Cooper just squeezes balls.

  80. 80
    Nic Niewart says:

    Balls! the light at the end of the tunnel is the oncoming train!

  81. 81

    Jealousy in Westminster kid’s park as Ed Balls left out of playtime with Ed’s balls.

  82. 82
    Toner Cartridge says:

    “And by the time you grow up and pay taxes, this ball still won’t have been paid for…”

  83. 83
    Mother says:


  84. 84
    Greychatter says:

    Another load of Balls from Red Ed.

  85. 85
    Bob MacSpadden says:

    “And this is how George Osborne thinks the economy works.”

  86. 86
    bill anderson says:

    No, really, I do work with Nick Park.

  87. 87
    daveyone1 says:

    That’s another Ed Balls up you’ve gotten me into!

  88. 88
    Sir William Waad says:

    “…….and friends” read Ed, uncomprehendingly.

  89. 89
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    Pre-school ‘special’ kid plays with a Thomas The Tank Engine ball in the playground, as another kid and his mum look on.

  90. 90
    Sir William Waad says:

    Jedward’s had a long career.

  91. 91
    Sir William Waad says:

    Some of the nursery class had not moved on as quickly as the school had hoped.

  92. 92
    Rick the Roman says:

    Labour policy focus group meets leader.

  93. 93
    pol says:

    Ed’s magical power over balls never fails to astound.

  94. 94
    Steve says:

    Never seen Blackbasters, but I love Thomas the W…

  95. 95
    Patrick says:

    Ed struggled with the idea of train drivers not being on strike,

  96. 96
    Chris Bryant loves ****s says:

    “Hmmmm A ball tax…”

  97. 97
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Miliband hits the buffers.

  98. 98
    michael says:

    “Mummy, will you tell that stupid mister that that’s not Gordon the big engine, it’s just a ball ?”

  99. 99
    anonemo says:

    Ed and Johann try to take young Eck’s ball away.

  100. 100
    wiggy_uk says:

    Who’s Thomas and what are friends?

  101. 101
    John Bull says:

    Olympic Weightlifting Competition. Clean and Jerk Section.

  102. 102
    Stepney says:

    The Labour Party Economic Policy Unit enjoy a breakthrough moment.

  103. 103
    Time 2 CTRL, ALT & DEL says:

    Ed spared no effort in trying to lure Gordon out of hiding

  104. 104
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    Another Labour balls-up!

  105. 105
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    Is this a Balls I see before me? No, it’s a dagger in the back.

  106. 106
    Anonymous says:

    Miili Minor : I need to be closer as my co-ordination isn’t as good as yours.

  107. 107
    genghiz the kahn says:

    pwedetor or pwoducer?

  108. 108
    dickythedentist says:

    Mummy is that that union puppet you keep telling daddy about.

  109. 109
    genghiz the kahn says:

    “Mummy, he won’t be Prime Minister in my lifetime.”

  110. 110
    Anti Fabian says:

    Ed – ‘I will attempt a Vulcan mind-meld in order to absorb the intelligence and charisma of this strange spheroid alien’

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Lets see if I can turn Thomas the tank engine into Thomas the band wagon, cos I prefer band wagons.

  112. 112
    Dave Bruce says:

    I will rule the world one day my menisis….

  113. 113
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The ‘Virtual prize’ – avoids all that legal crap and trading standards bumff from the elf ‘n safety politically correct numbskulls and boneheads from the state that we have ‘C-O-N-T-R-O-L-L-I-N-G’ our lives today – It’s Civil Disorder wot rules the day from now on; and they can’t do Feck all about it but be exposed & embarrassed. Result – I’d say.

  114. 114
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Miliband thinks he sees Ed Balls – AKA The Fat Cϋnt Roller

  115. 115
    Budgie says:

    Little boy: “Is that Ed’s Ball? Has he only got one?”

  116. 116
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    And then the mummy sits on the ball, we all gather round banging the blue drum with a copy of the labour manifesto and nine months later a baby is made

  117. 117
  118. 118
    Blowing Whistles says:

    It now after 5:00pm Sunday 29th July

    The Caption Contest winner this week – of a Virtual Ferrari for the winner to whizz around in ‘in their own mind and dreams’, is

    No 31 – “Patrick” with:-

    “Polly, the Guardian’s wrong on this. The earth’s round like a ball -not flat.”

    n.b. It’s not the winning – it’s the taking part and being a good sport that matters. There’s no need for bitchiness or lame duck excuses from those of you who lost.

    Complaints about the judge will be placed in a virtual complaints file and forgotten forever.

    First person to post after this comment number is the next Caption Contest judge that the baton is handed on to. Good luck to all you honest, moral competitiors.

  119. 119
    In E says:

    *has a mild hissy fit*

    Okies :)

  120. 120
    runner-up says:

    You walked into that one with your pointing firmly forwards, didn’t you. Do you even remember being here on Friday?

  121. 121
    runner-up says:

    My what , darlin ??

    I always follows my finger , don’t i ??

    I vaguely remembers Friday , I thinks .

  122. 122
    Wot a CUNT says:

    I’ve done it again!!

    *reads the manual*

  123. 123
    Wot a CUNT says:

    Right now I feels genuinely naked. Ooooh!!

    It’s HORRIBLE!!

  124. 124
    runner-up says:

    We’ve all done it. Don’t worry – nobody reads down this far :)

  125. 125
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Good luck “In E” – it must however be a ‘virtual prize’ *- but you can decide what that huge brilliant prize is.
    * Virtual of course to avoid all them legal / trade description / licencing act – vultures from the legal world might throw at the webmaster.

    Result. Just hope that guido continues the Contest though.

  126. 126
    i hate London says:

    Balls stay away from the children!

  127. 127
    Rightallalong says:

    ‘He has learning difficulties’

  128. 128
    Professor says:

    It’s Ok ball, I am a square peg in a round hole.

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