July 26th, 2012

Labour Confirm G4S Will Guard Their Conference

Ed Miliband had a pretty tough stance on G4S after the Oly-shambles, even going as far as saying they should be banned from government contracts in the future:

People want bobbies on the beat, not G4S. I don’t think G4S should receive their £57 million management fee for services provided to the Olympic games. Frankly it beggars belief that they think they are entitled to it. Before they are awarded any new policing contracts, we need a review of G4S’s ability to deliver.”

Despite front-benchers and activists lining up to attack Labour just confirmed to Guido the growing rumour that the Party will be using the very same security firm for their own conference in the autumn.

A sources close to Ed Miliband said:

We are not overly worried as we’re not quite yet at the stage when as many people want to come to Labour conference as the Olympics“.



  1. 1
    Sacked Intern says:

    Ha Ha

    Did Lord Reid give them a good deal?

    Also G4S do Tory Conferences as well :)

  2. 2
    Whoosher Stubbs says:

    ++++SENSE OF HUMOUR ALERT !! ++++

    “We are not overly worried as we’re not quite yet at the stage when as many people want to come to Labour conference as the Olympics“.

  3. 3
    Nullbymouth says:

    If Balls doesn’t turn up will he be replaced by a squaddie?

  4. 4
    jgm2 says:

    I would suggest that many more people would wish to see a bomb go off at the Labour conference than at the Olympics though.

  5. 5
    No Shit Sherlock says:

  6. 6
    Quisling says:

    The security is actually to stop the fuckers escaping

  7. 7
    Ivy Baton-Round says:

    The local W.I. could probably cover it.

  8. 8
    Mitt the Alien says:

    Take me to your Mr Leader

  9. 9
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Will they have the muscle to gang up and throw out Walter Wolfgang?

  10. 10
    SouthEastVoter says:

    Lets hope they dont let children in to ask Mr Leader questions

  11. 11
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    My rock cakes are deadly from ten paces, dear.

  12. 12
    The Libor party says:

    This is how we del with dangerous security issues…..

  13. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Good news 900000 thousand jobs created in the privates sector on a -07% …..growth figure someone telling porkies on the growth figures maybe.

  14. 14
    Ivy Baton-Round says:

    Oh dear. I’ve dropped a stitch.

  15. 15
    Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

    Yes, but what happens if an octogenarian life-long Labour-supporter stands up and criticises Labour (non) policy? Labour ‘need’ half a dozen heavy-handed security guards to roughly man-handle said dangerous pensioner out into the street.

    At least, that’s what Labour usually do.

  16. 16
    G BROWN our once and future PM says:

    This just goes to probe what a total arsewipe Mr Leader really is

    Worse than Cable

  17. 17
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Maybe they’ll be able to scrounge a few voters out of the deal that they might not have done otherwise. You never know how these things work out. Though it does seem strange that they’re saying, in effect, we as the prospective rulers of the country place our trust in this company, but would shy away from using them for anything important.

  18. 18
    The Libor party says:

  19. 19
    G BROWN our once and future PM says:

    Are G4S staff in unions?

  20. 20
    Ed MilliePeed The Official Minor Twat Spokesperson says:

    ZanuLieLabor’s Hypocrisy

    Its what we do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the time……….

  21. 21
    Philip McArthur says:

    “We are not overly worried as we’re not quite yet at the stage when as many people want to come to Labour conference as the Olympics“.

    ” And I doubt that G4 will turn up either!”


  22. 22
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    They should have plenty of Conservative pamphlets ready to placate those that choose to rabble-rouse, dear.

  23. 23
    A heckling pensioner says:

    They need the security to eject the heckling pensioners

  24. 24
    Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

    White, working-class, independent-minded. No wonder Labour roughly kicked him out of the Conference. I’m just amazed they let him in.

  25. 25
    Jimmy says:

    This really is getting worse you know.

  26. 26
    Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

    Have you met Ed’s Bavarian half-brother? Mr Leader-Hosen.

    I’ll get my coat.

  27. 27
    The General Secretary's Office Spokesperson says:

    They are all fully paid up members of E.D.L. Union !

  28. 28
    Ed 'Bruiser' Balls MP says:

    Look you fucking oik’s do as we say not as we do or we’ll send the thought police round, got it!

  29. 29
    erm... says:

    we do get it right on the night:
    ..team gb wins first match of the olympics
    ..immigration staff back down.
    ..insensitivity to johnny foreigner continues….north korean football team were expected to salute the south korean flag.
    ….so the start is great…than a fudge…then better stay indoors…kinda defines the national perspective on the B£iar’s years.
    .and now….the wheel turns full circle.
    . Mr cruddas wants to return to early Blairism.

  30. 30
    AC1 says:

    From the latest Private Eye Rotten Boroughs.

    “Pensioner of the Week

    “A heartfelt ‘welcome back’ to Darryl Stephenson, formerly a stalwart of this column, who retired as chief exec of East Riding of Yorkshire Council (Eryc) in 2005, aged 55. But these are hard times for oldies.

    “It appears Darryl has been unable to get by on his meagre £100,000-a-year pension – which was boosted by a handsome £36,000 pay rise couple of years before he retired – and has been forced to seek part-time employment. Happily he has landed a little light chief-executing at neighbouring Hull city council – whence he came in 1995 – at a modest £800 a day. So he may be able to afford to light two bars on his electric fire next winter after all!

    “There has been carping that the work was not advertised, and mutterings that his £160,000-a-year predecessor, Nicola Yates, had been driven out by a ‘bullying culture’ among senior Labour councillors. But Darryl, happily, is above that sort of thing.

    “PS Darryl’s replacement at Eryc was his pal Nigel Pearson, the council’s former ‘director of corporate resources’. Pearson’s job was in turn taken by the council’s head of legal, Sue Lockwood – aka Mrs Darryl. In 2009 Ms Lockwood received a ‘loyalty’ pay rise of £12,000 for staying on at the council. With that in the bank she announced her own early retirement the following year, but only after the Tory council’s cabinet had approved a whopping £364,000 payment into her pension fund. Darryl’s brief at Hull is reported to include exploring ways of sharing Eryc’s resources. He certainly has plenty of experience of that!”

  31. 31
    G BROWN our once and future PM says:

    Has Harriet demanded they employ 50% female guards?

    I think personally that G4S is a fine body of men (and women) (and immigrants) who add so much to our national life and personal security.

    As I said when i founded the Company with Mr J Edgar Hoover “One day this will come to be seen as the greatest strategic move in the history of security”. I must modestly admit that I was right.

    When I am next PM I will ensure that G4S get the contract to man the aircraft carriers being built across the river from my house.

    These proud symbols of British power (and largesse towards my constituents) will look majestic as the sail the seven seas spreading British soft power (as we cannot afford any planes for them) – and thereby helping further protect the environment from pollution from their nasty jet engines. This is yet further proof of my last Government’s strategic approach integrating and synthesising policy across so many areas in the complex modern world.

    I personally cannot wait for the day they sail down the Clyde with rows of proud G4S staff (with a few inconsequential gaps for those who failed to show up that day) lining their decks, clad in purest British Polyester, their badges glinting in the sun, and all on the minimum wage

  32. 32
    Polly Bag says:

  33. 33
    The Spirit of Jimmy Savile says:

    Fcuking Politicians keep digging me up to Fix things for them all the fcuking

    time !!

  34. 34
    AC1 says:

    GDP is only measuring debt growth now. It’s completely divorced from real wealth creation.

  35. 35

    She’ll pull the time tested never fails age and woman cards next when all else fails and her bullshit catches up with her.

  36. 36
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    Your comments ? Dead right !

  37. 37
    AC1 says:

    They MoD would be billed 8000 quid a week for the minimum wage crew, and then pay another admin fee of 1500 per week per crew member.

  38. 38
    Loungelizard says:

    These must be The Brown Shirts we hear so much about.

  39. 39
    David Sutch says:

    You’re lucky you insisted on being buried at forty-five degrees to the perpendicular, mate.

  40. 40
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Guido …your stance on so many issues is now becoming child like.

    Whatever next, are you going to rummage through Labour MP’s bins and go mental about those who have Barclay bank accounts.

    PS GS4 are also doing security for Tory Conferance

  41. 41
    David Sutch says:

    Get a room, FFS!!

  42. 42
    The Spirit of Jimmy Savile says:

    Uh-ey-uh-ey-uh-ey,uhh. Now then, now then. I reside at 45 degrees to the horizon. Howz about that then?

  43. 43
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Absolutely loving The Cock trying desperately to squeeze some feel good factor from the Games

    It isnt gonna work Dave….you are universally despised

    Dave is an Ex Marketing Man… running the UK isn’t a Marketing role

  44. 44
    You Have To Laugh says:

    ”your stance on so many issues is now becoming child like.” -Moussa Koussa


  45. 45
    Red Kev Maguire says:

    “Ed Miliband may have left himself exposed after demanding that G4S, winner of Olympic gold for corporate incompetence, be suspended from bidding for public contracts. The name of the firm hired to provide security at this autumn’s Labour conference? G4S. Should Ed Mili hear the snap of rubber gloves being pulled on for a strip search after he’s called out of the line, he should take it personally.”


  46. 46
    Listen Here Noo says:

    Pro Tip from the expert on

  47. 47
    Jimmy says:


  48. 48
    SP4BS says:

    That is you, isn’t it jonty. Freud would have a field day with that first sentence.

  49. 49
    Mornington Crescent says:

    No need – they’re clearly very happy here as they are:


  50. 50
    Admirer says:

    Are you crotcheting a new gusset in your knickers again?

  51. 51
    Stat Tractor says:

    Olympic ticket sales to be added in *giggles*

  52. 52
    Wotta Tossa says:

    Bring back Gordon, an ex-history student and lifelong politician !

  53. 53
    Malcolm Armsteen says:

    Wait until the job loses at G4S starts occurring because of loss of contracts – Labour and the unions will be screaming from the roof-tops.

  54. 54
    Gideon Osborne says:

    Same as me.

    He had his Balls and I have my Gauke.

  55. 55
    If boring, says:

    OK, Ed. I’ll have some of that. How many kilos thoughts can they supply this week?

  56. 56
    ac1 says:

    The left do love to project, don’t they!?

  57. 57
    why does says:

    The only Polly-words I’ve ever read are the tweets you post on here.

  58. 58
    Wotta Tossa says:

    Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

  59. 59
    annette curton says:


  60. 60
    The Spirit of Jimmy Savile says:

    For fcuks sake I am being haunted by my own fcuking spirit NOW !!!

    can’t you fcuking twats leave me in Peace…….

    I have been terminally retired…….so Fcuk Off

    or else I will fcuking UnFix the Fcuking lot of you for fcuking Good !!!!!

    Where’s my Havana’s I need a good burn UP

  61. 61
    The Tit in No 10 – speaking as a PR (Up The Bum) Pro says:

    As you know PR is shorthand for ‘Per Rectum’, – in other words, – up the arse!

    And that’s where I keep my head.

    So anything I say originates in the same place!

  62. 62
    you do it? says:

    He spoke out of turn. BURN HIM !

  63. 63
    CMD,All Smoke & Mirrors UK Master of Manipulation & Mendacity says:

    Very true My Good Fiend Emir Moussa

    Please rest assured I will prove every time I open by mouth

    what a complete & utter twat I am at ruining this country

    I have waited for this opportunity to continue the policies of my predecessor

    & complete the trashing of the UK & the Nasty Party for good……

    Just look how many billions of pounds I lost the country on BLACK Wednesday

    September 1992 that should have give a very big clue it was going to be more of

    the same once I did’nt win the 2010 GE.

    Must go much more trashing to do……

  64. 64
    annette curton says:

    Daily Mail headline: OAPs to attend Labour party conference demand special protection.

  65. 65

    Could you consider calibrating your time in your wonderful moniker into days and hours?

    It would help make the time appear go even faster…

  66. 66
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:



  67. 67
    WI Security We Will Hurt You Dear says:

    Well we gave that shit Tony Blair a right hand bagging

  68. 68
    WI Security We Will Hurt You Dear says:

    Just so you can see that we had rumbled the money grubbing arms dealer before all the pundits!

  69. 69
    Shit security for shit politicians says:

    Well, given that Labour gave them hundreds of contracts, made their chief exec a millionaire, and John Reid is one of their advisers, it’s only right G4S do security for Labour’s con-ference. Let’s just hope they’re as efficient as they’ve been at the Olympics.

  70. 70
    UKIP.i.am says:

    It would appear past GDP growth from the public sector has been greatly exaggerated.

  71. 71
    North Korea Broadcasting Corporation For The Moral & Social Health and Wellbeing of the Nation says:

    Happiness day, citizens! Glorious leader and father of the nation Kim Jong-un has purchased beloved wife and new mother for your nation! You are commanded to celebrate!


  72. 72
    Labour Party Spokesperson says:

    To correct the question of G4S’s involvement with the Labour Party conference; They are not security.

    They will be forming focus groups to debate with intruders the role of passive resistance as a medium of protest. The feel of these events will be positive.
    They will not be about excluding people but rather including them and discussing life-affirming ways of protesting at the evil Tories/bankers/toffs and the uber-devil Thatcher

    The events will include Health and Safety and Equality/Diversity impact assessments, whale sounds and meditation with speeches by Gerald Kaufman.

    The converted will then be able to listen to the two Eds presenting the Glasgow Rangers financial model as a sound basis for the UK economy.

    Rumours that they have tried to sell the ticketing rights to the conference for the next 15 years are merely a disgusting slur.

    As ever,the progressive party,full of fresh ideas

  73. 73
    SAGA spokesperson says:

    Yes they have all demanded URGENTLY 24/7 security protection

    from Ed The Bruiser Balls…..

  74. 74
    Nullbymouth says:

    Its spelt Gak

  75. 75
    ac1 says:

    The public sector’s Addition to real GDP is negative-

  76. 76
    UKIP.i.am says:

    The Labour party security must have been replaced by G4S because they were far too brutal and incompetent. Looks like the standard hypocrisy from the party that is always knocking the Tories for privatising parts of the NHS when they did so much of it themselves.

    Is there a day goes by when Labour doesn’t show itself up for the hypocritical twats they are?

  77. 77
    Cutie says:


    I soo bored !!!

    *Idly flicks Stew’s Tinker*

  78. 78

    G4S: Guards for Spakers

  79. 79
    Tinker says:

    // 7
    \ \
    \ \
    _\ \__
    ( \ )

  80. 80
    Stew says:
         //  7
         \    \
          \    \
          _\    \__
         (   \     )

    That is better. Thanks E.

  81. 81
    Cutie says:

    Thank YOU, Stew x

  82. 82
    David Suchet says:

    In ze case of Mlle Toynbee, ze little grey cells, zey no longer work, n’est-ce pas? Probablement many other systemes of the body, aussi. La Toynbee, elle est une tres triste vieille vache; d’accord, M. L’Inspecteur Japp?

  83. 83
    Ray says:

    You do bring out the very worst – and the very best – in me.

  84. 84
    moby dick says:

    we need a G4S enquiry how they got labour contract

  85. 85
    Anon M'Lord of the Upper House now in recess says:

    I say do you mean “Guards for Spanker’s”

    I need some of those…….

    where do I apply for this welcomed service for the Upper House……????

    Can you ONLY reply in a Plain Brown envelope only


  86. 86
    Stew says:

    Listen up, E. The home brew is in the garage. Please leave a few pints for me and try not to burp in the back garden – our neighbours are very respectable people and we wouldn’t wish to lower the tone of the district, would we?

    The Swedes arrive tomorrow. Try not to let them in, if poss. If you feel you must, hold out for as long as possible. They’ve been treating our house like their personal hotel for too many years now.

    Cycled today, pub lunch, Charlie accidentally ate a newt ……usual stuff

    Be nice to Tinker. Be yourself to The Swedes.


  87. 87
    E says:


  88. 88
    Bjorn says:


    We have come a day early!

  89. 89
    Ray says:

    Words just ain’t enough, are they?

  90. 90
    E says:

    lol . Per, Inge an the brat of a daughter, who is rapidly becomin the most sensible of them all.

    thx for giggle x

  91. 91
    Bjorn says:

    Plees excoos me.

    Did I accidentally tickle you somewhere?

  92. 92
    Stew says:

    Stew subsides… eventually

                        _,-'    \//%\
                    _,-'        \%/|%
                  / / )    __,--  /%\
                  \__/_,-'%(%  ;  %)%
                          %\%,   %\
  93. 93
    Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

    I’ll see what I can do..

  94. 94
    Jimmy says:

    Gallia est omnes divisa in partes tres.

  95. 95
    Isajezebel says:

    Du kan inte min pappa!

  96. 96
    Per Björn Ingerström says:

    Jag försökte bara att flytta den här stolen

  97. 97
    Isajezebel says:

    Pappa! Farbror Stew, som äger hotellet i London, har just gått diskett på order-order. Titta!

  98. 98
    Per Björn Ingerström says:

    Du vet inte hur mycket han har lagt ned

  99. 99
    E , sans lederhosen or anything else, for that matter ... says:

    Du kan kittla mig någonstans, honung – av misstag eller på annat sätt. kyss

  100. 100
    Per Björn Ingerström says:

    Jag kommer bara kittlar dig om du vill men jag kommer kyssa dig överallt. ♥

  101. 101
    Du och jag says:

    Jag är hans syster.

    * Ser på henne klockan *

    Jag vet hur mycket han har gjort, älskling

    E x

  102. 102
    Du och jag says:

    Okies ♥

  103. 103
    Per Björn Ingerström says:

    Knulla mig!

  104. 104
    Per Björn Ingerström says:


    Måste få vettigt igen!

  105. 105
    nmj says:

    They’ll have a hard time sailing down the Clyde as they’re being assembled on the Forth.

  106. 106
    Anon Security Insider for that Ssssh You Know who mis-Run Company says:

    the usual way

    Contacts …….

    Rent Boys…….

    Rent Girls aka Hookers…..

    Greasing Palms………

    Calling in favours………….

    Supplying recreational substances FOC

    Being Economical with the Truth……unlike Politicians who just Lie…

    And any other dishonest devious way we can find……..

    Certainly did not even think about tendering thats un-ethical

  107. 107
    A wandering minstrel says:

    Ed’s Diligent Layabouts?

  108. 108
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    The corruption involved Labour Council politics would not be tolerated in Lagos.

  109. 109
    Latino for beginners says:

    Caesar ad sum jam for tea as well you know. Plus Gloria felt unwell in the van on the way over on Monday.

  110. 110
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Well, Walter is not as young as he was but I suspect he could still give the G4S goons a good kicking.

  111. 111
    Hush the noo, ye'll upset Jimmy says:

    Ssssssshhhhh !!!!

  112. 112
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Well done Guido. You are obviously getting under the wrinkly skin of this self-satisfied, holier-than-though, faux-socialist baggage!

  113. 113
    Sacre bleu says:

    Encore du the, Monsier l’inspecteur?

  114. 114
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Who the fuck is Daniel Elton and why do we care?

  115. 115
    Just passing through says:

    The oldies should employ G4S to look after them. That should be fun!

  116. 116
    I know where the bodies are buried says:

    You forgot blackmail.

  117. 117
    keredybretsa says:

    Someone somewhere within the cess-pit Labour Party must be getting a naice little bung from the G4S. Brown envelopes all round.

  118. 118
    Mad frankies older sister says:

    We will take them up the Clyde to demonstrate our prowess

  119. 119
    Whom to blame? says:

    A clearer case for using the accusative ‘whom’ could not be found. The BBC used to stand up for correct usage. These days, it disdains even to stand for the National Anthem.

  120. 120
    Conspiracy Factist says:

    HMG is so confident of security at the Olympics, they’ve ordered 200,000 coffins on standby.


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