July 26th, 2012

Labour Confirm G4S Will Guard Their Conference

Ed Miliband had a pretty tough stance on G4S after the Oly-shambles, even going as far as saying they should be banned from government contracts in the future:

People want bobbies on the beat, not G4S. I don’t think G4S should receive their £57 million management fee for services provided to the Olympic games. Frankly it beggars belief that they think they are entitled to it. Before they are awarded any new policing contracts, we need a review of G4S’s ability to deliver.”

Despite front-benchers and activists lining up to attack Labour just confirmed to Guido the growing rumour that the Party will be using the very same security firm for their own conference in the autumn.

A sources close to Ed Miliband said:

We are not overly worried as we’re not quite yet at the stage when as many people want to come to Labour conference as the Olympics“.



  1. 1
    Sacked Intern says:

    Ha Ha

    Did Lord Reid give them a good deal?

    Also G4S do Tory Conferences as well :)


    • 21
      Philip McArthur says:

      “We are not overly worried as we’re not quite yet at the stage when as many people want to come to Labour conference as the Olympics“.

      ” And I doubt that G4 will turn up either!”



    • 29
      erm... says:

      we do get it right on the night:
      ..team gb wins first match of the olympics
      ..immigration staff back down.
      ..insensitivity to johnny foreigner continues….north korean football team were expected to salute the south korean flag.
      ….so the start is great…than a fudge…then better stay indoors…kinda defines the national perspective on the B£iar’s years.
      .and now….the wheel turns full circle.
      . Mr cruddas wants to return to early Blairism.


    • 30
      AC1 says:

      From the latest Private Eye Rotten Boroughs.

      “Pensioner of the Week

      “A heartfelt ‘welcome back’ to Darryl Stephenson, formerly a stalwart of this column, who retired as chief exec of East Riding of Yorkshire Council (Eryc) in 2005, aged 55. But these are hard times for oldies.

      “It appears Darryl has been unable to get by on his meagre £100,000-a-year pension – which was boosted by a handsome £36,000 pay rise couple of years before he retired – and has been forced to seek part-time employment. Happily he has landed a little light chief-executing at neighbouring Hull city council – whence he came in 1995 – at a modest £800 a day. So he may be able to afford to light two bars on his electric fire next winter after all!

      “There has been carping that the work was not advertised, and mutterings that his £160,000-a-year predecessor, Nicola Yates, had been driven out by a ‘bullying culture’ among senior Labour councillors. But Darryl, happily, is above that sort of thing.

      “PS Darryl’s replacement at Eryc was his pal Nigel Pearson, the council’s former ‘director of corporate resources’. Pearson’s job was in turn taken by the council’s head of legal, Sue Lockwood – aka Mrs Darryl. In 2009 Ms Lockwood received a ‘loyalty’ pay rise of £12,000 for staying on at the council. With that in the bank she announced her own early retirement the following year, but only after the Tory council’s cabinet had approved a whopping £364,000 payment into her pension fund. Darryl’s brief at Hull is reported to include exploring ways of sharing Eryc’s resources. He certainly has plenty of experience of that!”


      • 108
        Old Tory Bigot says:

        The corruption involved Labour Council politics would not be tolerated in Lagos.


  2. 2
    Whoosher Stubbs says:

    ++++SENSE OF HUMOUR ALERT !! ++++

    “We are not overly worried as we’re not quite yet at the stage when as many people want to come to Labour conference as the Olympics“.


    • 5
      No Shit Sherlock says:


    • 7
      Ivy Baton-Round says:

      The local W.I. could probably cover it.


    • 15
      Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

      Yes, but what happens if an octogenarian life-long Labour-supporter stands up and criticises Labour (non) policy? Labour ‘need’ half a dozen heavy-handed security guards to roughly man-handle said dangerous pensioner out into the street.

      At least, that’s what Labour usually do.


      • 22
        Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

        They should have plenty of Conservative pamphlets ready to placate those that choose to rabble-rouse, dear.


  3. 2
    Nullbymouth says:

    If Balls doesn’t turn up will he be replaced by a squaddie?


  4. 4
    jgm2 says:

    I would suggest that many more people would wish to see a bomb go off at the Labour conference than at the Olympics though.


  5. 6
    Quisling says:

    The security is actually to stop the fuckers escaping


  6. 8
    Mitt the Alien says:

    Take me to your Mr Leader


    • 18
      The Libor party says:


      • 26
        Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

        Have you met Ed’s Bavarian half-brother? Mr Leader-Hosen.

        I’ll get my coat.


  7. 9
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Will they have the muscle to gang up and throw out Walter Wolfgang?


    • 110
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Well, Walter is not as young as he was but I suspect he could still give the G4S goons a good kicking.


  8. 10
    SouthEastVoter says:

    Lets hope they dont let children in to ask Mr Leader questions


  9. 12
    The Libor party says:

    This is how we del with dangerous security issues…..


    • 24
      Only 17 days to go until the Olympics are over! Yay! says:

      White, working-class, independent-minded. No wonder Labour roughly kicked him out of the Conference. I’m just amazed they let him in.


      • 65

        Could you consider calibrating your time in your wonderful moniker into days and hours?

        It would help make the time appear go even faster…


      • 76
        UKIP.i.am says:

        The Labour party security must have been replaced by G4S because they were far too brutal and incompetent. Looks like the standard hypocrisy from the party that is always knocking the Tories for privatising parts of the NHS when they did so much of it themselves.

        Is there a day goes by when Labour doesn’t show itself up for the hypocritical twats they are?


  10. 13
    Anonymous says:

    Good news 900000 thousand jobs created in the privates sector on a -07% …..growth figure someone telling porkies on the growth figures maybe.


  11. 16
    G BROWN our once and future PM says:

    This just goes to probe what a total arsewipe Mr Leader really is

    Worse than Cable


  12. 17
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Maybe they’ll be able to scrounge a few voters out of the deal that they might not have done otherwise. You never know how these things work out. Though it does seem strange that they’re saying, in effect, we as the prospective rulers of the country place our trust in this company, but would shy away from using them for anything important.


  13. 19
    G BROWN our once and future PM says:

    Are G4S staff in unions?


  14. 20
    Ed MilliePeed The Official Minor Twat Spokesperson says:

    ZanuLieLabor’s Hypocrisy

    Its what we do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the time……….


  15. 23
    A heckling pensioner says:

    They need the security to eject the heckling pensioners


  16. 25
    Jimmy says:

    This really is getting worse you know.


  17. 28
    Ed 'Bruiser' Balls MP says:

    Look you fucking oik’s do as we say not as we do or we’ll send the thought police round, got it!


    • 55
      If boring, says:

      OK, Ed. I’ll have some of that. How many kilos thoughts can they supply this week?


  18. 31
    G BROWN our once and future PM says:

    Has Harriet demanded they employ 50% female guards?

    I think personally that G4S is a fine body of men (and women) (and immigrants) who add so much to our national life and personal security.

    As I said when i founded the Company with Mr J Edgar Hoover “One day this will come to be seen as the greatest strategic move in the history of security”. I must modestly admit that I was right.

    When I am next PM I will ensure that G4S get the contract to man the aircraft carriers being built across the river from my house.

    These proud symbols of British power (and largesse towards my constituents) will look majestic as the sail the seven seas spreading British soft power (as we cannot afford any planes for them) – and thereby helping further protect the environment from pollution from their nasty jet engines. This is yet further proof of my last Government’s strategic approach integrating and synthesising policy across so many areas in the complex modern world.

    I personally cannot wait for the day they sail down the Clyde with rows of proud G4S staff (with a few inconsequential gaps for those who failed to show up that day) lining their decks, clad in purest British Polyester, their badges glinting in the sun, and all on the minimum wage


  19. 32
    Polly Bag says:


    • 35

      She’ll pull the time tested never fails age and woman cards next when all else fails and her bullshit catches up with her.


    • 41
      David Sutch says:

      Get a room, FFS!!


      • 82
        David Suchet says:

        In ze case of Mlle Toynbee, ze little grey cells, zey no longer work, n’est-ce pas? Probablement many other systemes of the body, aussi. La Toynbee, elle est une tres triste vieille vache; d’accord, M. L’Inspecteur Japp?


    • 112
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Well done Guido. You are obviously getting under the wrinkly skin of this self-satisfied, holier-than-though, faux-socialist baggage!


    • 114
      Old Tory Bigot says:

      Who the fuck is Daniel Elton and why do we care?


  20. 33
    The Spirit of Jimmy Savile says:

    Fcuking Politicians keep digging me up to Fix things for them all the fcuking

    time !!


    • 39
      David Sutch says:

      You’re lucky you insisted on being buried at forty-five degrees to the perpendicular, mate.


      • 42
        The Spirit of Jimmy Savile says:

        Uh-ey-uh-ey-uh-ey,uhh. Now then, now then. I reside at 45 degrees to the horizon. Howz about that then?


        • 60
          The Spirit of Jimmy Savile says:

          For fcuks sake I am being haunted by my own fcuking spirit NOW !!!

          can’t you fcuking twats leave me in Peace…….

          I have been terminally retired…….so Fcuk Off

          or else I will fcuking UnFix the Fcuking lot of you for fcuking Good !!!!!

          Where’s my Havana’s I need a good burn UP


  21. 40
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Guido …your stance on so many issues is now becoming child like.

    Whatever next, are you going to rummage through Labour MP’s bins and go mental about those who have Barclay bank accounts.

    PS GS4 are also doing security for Tory Conferance


  22. 43
    Moussa Koussa says:

    Absolutely loving The Cock trying desperately to squeeze some feel good factor from the Games

    It isnt gonna work Dave….you are universally despised

    Dave is an Ex Marketing Man… running the UK isn’t a Marketing role


    • 48
      SP4BS says:

      That is you, isn’t it jonty. Freud would have a field day with that first sentence.


    • 52
      Wotta Tossa says:

      Bring back Gordon, an ex-history student and lifelong politician !


    • 61
      The Tit in No 10 – speaking as a PR (Up The Bum) Pro says:

      As you know PR is shorthand for ‘Per Rectum’, – in other words, – up the arse!

      And that’s where I keep my head.

      So anything I say originates in the same place!


    • 63
      CMD,All Smoke & Mirrors UK Master of Manipulation & Mendacity says:

      Very true My Good Fiend Emir Moussa

      Please rest assured I will prove every time I open by mouth

      what a complete & utter twat I am at ruining this country

      I have waited for this opportunity to continue the policies of my predecessor

      & complete the trashing of the UK & the Nasty Party for good……

      Just look how many billions of pounds I lost the country on BLACK Wednesday

      September 1992 that should have give a very big clue it was going to be more of

      the same once I did’nt win the 2010 GE.

      Must go much more trashing to do……


  23. 53
    Malcolm Armsteen says:

    Wait until the job loses at G4S starts occurring because of loss of contracts – Labour and the unions will be screaming from the roof-tops.


  24. 59
    annette curton says:



  25. 66
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:




    • 119
      Whom to blame? says:

      A clearer case for using the accusative ‘whom’ could not be found. The BBC used to stand up for correct usage. These days, it disdains even to stand for the National Anthem.


  26. 69
    Shit security for shit politicians says:

    Well, given that Labour gave them hundreds of contracts, made their chief exec a millionaire, and John Reid is one of their advisers, it’s only right G4S do security for Labour’s con-ference. Let’s just hope they’re as efficient as they’ve been at the Olympics.


  27. 71
    North Korea Broadcasting Corporation For The Moral & Social Health and Wellbeing of the Nation says:

    Happiness day, citizens! Glorious leader and father of the nation Kim Jong-un has purchased beloved wife and new mother for your nation! You are commanded to celebrate!



  28. 72
    Labour Party Spokesperson says:

    To correct the question of G4S’s involvement with the Labour Party conference; They are not security.

    They will be forming focus groups to debate with intruders the role of passive resistance as a medium of protest. The feel of these events will be positive.
    They will not be about excluding people but rather including them and discussing life-affirming ways of protesting at the evil Tories/bankers/toffs and the uber-devil Thatcher

    The events will include Health and Safety and Equality/Diversity impact assessments, whale sounds and meditation with speeches by Gerald Kaufman.

    The converted will then be able to listen to the two Eds presenting the Glasgow Rangers financial model as a sound basis for the UK economy.

    Rumours that they have tried to sell the ticketing rights to the conference for the next 15 years are merely a disgusting slur.

    As ever,the progressive party,full of fresh ideas


  29. 77
    Cutie says:


    I soo bored !!!

    *Idly flicks Stew’s Tinker*


  30. 78

    G4S: Guards for Spakers


    • 85
      Anon M'Lord of the Upper House now in recess says:

      I say do you mean “Guards for Spanker’s”

      I need some of those…….

      where do I apply for this welcomed service for the Upper House……????

      Can you ONLY reply in a Plain Brown envelope only



  31. 84
    moby dick says:

    we need a G4S enquiry how they got labour contract


    • 106
      Anon Security Insider for that Ssssh You Know who mis-Run Company says:

      the usual way

      Contacts …….

      Rent Boys…….

      Rent Girls aka Hookers…..

      Greasing Palms………

      Calling in favours………….

      Supplying recreational substances FOC

      Being Economical with the Truth……unlike Politicians who just Lie…

      And any other dishonest devious way we can find……..

      Certainly did not even think about tendering thats un-ethical


  32. 117
    keredybretsa says:

    Someone somewhere within the cess-pit Labour Party must be getting a naice little bung from the G4S. Brown envelopes all round.


  33. 120
    Conspiracy Factist says:

    HMG is so confident of security at the Olympics, they’ve ordered 200,000 coffins on standby.



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