July 25th, 2012

Scrounging Lords Take Break Until October

Fresh from having the debate on their survival kicked into the long grass, the 765 peers sitting in the House of Lords will celebrate by taking a 10-week summer holiday this evening.

The House rises until October 8th, meaning that its members will have to wait to enjoy the £175,000 of taxpayers’ money they have just spent on revamping the decor in their parliamentary offices. Our dosh has been spent on dozens of new pieces of art and statues, including a bust of Prince Philip and a painting of the Jubilee procession. Come back Nick, all is forgiven…


  1. 1
    Well says:

    The Lords do a better job than MPs tho.

  2. 2
    Baroness Warsi says:

    So long and thanks for all the vegetarian chicken

  3. 3
    Dear Guido and Team says:

    Seeing as mistakes seem to be going to pixel lately I would like to suggest a new disciplinary code for your staff.

    Any mistake that goes to pixel the staff member responsible should “Take one for the team”

    I believe that this system will soon eradicate mistakes.

  4. 4
    Sniper says:

    “Come back Nick, all is forgiven…”

    No, it really isn’t. The best Clegg can hope for is to be forgotten.

  5. 5
    SP4BS says:

    “the 765 peers sitting in the House of Lords”

    I bet theres hundreds of them that haven’t actually sat in the house of lords in the last 5 years.

  6. 6
    SP4BS says:

    This has got to be real Guido. Sitting around after lunch, 34C in the shade.

  7. 7
    Sir Trev Skint MP says:

    This is bad news for our noble friends, they won’t be able to claim 400 quid-a-night in bunk-up fees!

  8. 8
    Some Twat Up North says:


  9. 9
    A Stupide Person says:

    Polly Toynbee is also a very stupide person

  10. 10
    Ploppy Toybee says:

    The government are going to force people to shovel snow at 3 in the morning in their underwear. It’s official. I have it good authority. I never lie. And they’re going to reduce the minimum wage to 5 pence a week.

  11. 11


  12. 12
    Gordon Brown says:

    Disgraceful. Imagine that, being so lazy and getting paid at the same time. If only everyone had my integrity of doing the job they’re paid to do.

  13. 13
    Lord wayne of trombone says:

    I d pay double to give them longer holidays

  14. 14
    The Tit in No 10 –speechyfying like the PR (Up The Arse) Pro He is says:

    I say you jolly chaps!! None of this matters !!! the main thing is that my really super-duper plans for bum-sex marridge go ahead watt!! Whatage?? Water???

  15. 15
    English Liberation Front says:

    It doesn’t seem a very good likeness of HRH.

  16. 16
    Plan B is sack Osborne says:

    Sack George Osborne, says Liberal Democrat peer

    Former Treasury spokesman Lord Oakeshott turns on chancellor after figures show recession has deepened.


  17. 17
    Tory Poofter says:

  18. 18
    A Lefty Turd says:

    But I like her!

  19. 19
    pissed off voter says:

    everybody does a better job than MPs.

  20. 20
    Herman Achille Van Rompuy says:

    Why do you Englishers bother with a parliament? President José Manuel Barroso and I make all the decisions that really affect you. Your MPs and Lords are just tinkering around the edges.

  21. 21

    10 weeks off should be the holiday allowance of border guards.
    Reading the paper and saying ‘stand behind the line..take your passport out of the funky case please… anything to declare?’ really takes it out of the lads.

    Maybe twelve weeks rest is needed.

  22. 22

    Keeps the unemployment stats down.

  23. 23
    Gonk says:

    A dead cat imparts more financial wisdom than Lord Oakeshit.

  24. 24
    5 Sinn Fein Mps says:

    Force us to do the job we are paid to do, well, you know whatll happen…

  25. 25
    Incapable Vince says:


  26. 26
    The Paragnostic says:

    Oakeshott – Charterhouse, Oxford PPE, Keynsian and all round leftie.

    Why anyone would take this washed-up old fool seriously is a question that only Nick Clegg can answer.

  27. 27
    The only way is anal says:

    As with everything to do with the House of Lords, you don’t get what you pay for.

  28. 28
    Vince for Chancellor says:

    Now don’t go upsetting the LimpDicks or they may choose to take the “nuclear option”!

  29. 29
    The Paragnostic says:

    Predatory twat.

    Leave the poor lad alone – he’s out of your league. Try cottaging – it’s probably more your level.

  30. 30
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Lord Oldshit. The greatest advert for the complete eradication of the LibDemons at the General Election.

  31. 31
  32. 32
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Could you write the temperature in English, please?

  33. 33
    Tory poofter says:

  34. 34
    annette curton says:

    Surely the term: border guards is an oxymoron anyway, they let them all in but nobody can get any of them out afterwards.

  35. 35
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    Put a beard on it, and it would look more like Lenin.

  36. 36

    At least a bronze bust and a decent figurative picture are likely to hold their value; they might even increase in a century or so.

    Better than much of the other rubbish they spend money on.

  37. 37
    Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

    I’ll pass, if it’s all the same, thanks. I’d rather watch A*****l win a’ ‘ome and lie in a big crisp bed with Jack Dromey’s big crisp old lady.

  38. 38
    annette curton says:

    It’s about as much use as a chocolate Prince Philip.

  39. 39
    SP4BS says:


  40. 40
    RK says:

    I thought that it was Trevor Kavanagh before I read the text.

  41. 41
    Arty farty says:

    Why all the masonic hands resting on Lord Baden Powell, without hat.

  42. 42
    Dianne Abbot MP says:

    The bust of Prince Philip is a masterpiece, I presume it was made by a West Indian mother. I fully approve of the choice of colour.

  43. 43
    Screamin Lord Filtch says:

    That is 50 attendance allowances that I cannot claim. I am goiong to be out of pocket by at least £20,000. Stupid bastards.

  44. 44
    His Majesty Boris Johnson says:

    34C? Sounds like my au pair’s bra size.

  45. 45
    Baroness Uddin says:

    Can I still get my expenses, innit?

  46. 46
    The Rumanian Gang says:

    We’ve got our eyes on it.

  47. 47
    Pastry chef says:


    *C divided by 9, multiplied by 5; plus 32 = *F

    or in words. *C over 5, times 9; plus 32 = *F

  48. 48
    Pastry chef says:

    pleesh ignore the firsht formula – too much cooking ssshherry. the second one ish the crekt one.

  49. 49
    Hilda Scruggs says:

    Well, that’s a start anyway. He can now move on to abandoning all of Brown’s “target” mentality which completely buggered many institutions who were so busy collecting figures they forgot to do what they were being paid for.

  50. 50
    Anonymous says:

    Troughing c’unts.

  51. 51
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Conor Burns MP LGBT mouthpiece – has got a lot of problems at present – one of his constituents has been ‘harassing him’ so he said – bent, corrupt, duplicitous wanker – who reeled back in his chair [Fri 13th July – 12:18] to avoid accepting a piece of paper which he thought was a ‘writ being served upon him’ – it wasn’t it was an email which he refuses to do anything about -Criminally corrupt Homosexual that he is. Cited David Laws MP’s attempt to silence his expenses abuse by squealing homophobia!!!

  52. 52
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Lord Phillips of the Supine Court is a despicable dirty 2 faced fork tongued zioloon – he and his’ days are numbered.

  53. 53
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Her thanks no doubt would be to Lord Ahmed – prolific property developer totally reliant upon his bank funding for building his properties – who just happened to head an APPG – called SAFE Struggle Against Financial (Bank) Exploitiation – an APPG which was set up with the aim back around 2003 of bringing the bankers before Parliament to bring them to account.

    How NOT ODD that subsequently the whole APPG was conveniently collapsed and that the issue of errant bankers [fat cat bonuses / people being ripped off] was kicked into the long grass then?

    This is of Lord Ahmed! – who ‘killed a man’ in the fast lane on the M5 – while he was ‘texting on his mobile phone’… funny how the public never found out who the ‘journalist’ Ahmed was texting at the time was; and funny how the public never found out what the series of texts were about …

    Don’t they just look after their own – these Lords who any true God fearing Christian might otherwise think that by using the word Lord; they are in fact taking the pee out of the God fearing Christians such as they are ‘taking their Lords’ name in vain?’

    Stupid Christians!!!! – They’re just simple easy lion meat. Have been so easily duped for so many decades – who would’ve guassed it.

  54. 54
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Polly Toynbee is by no means a stupid person – she is a “very” – devious, manipulative, duplicitous, fork-tongued, evil, marxist loving communist Zioloon.

  55. 55
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Blair let them all in – he was pandering to the greediest profiteering SOB’s fat cats in the city – ‘Cheap Labour =s maximising profit’ – DoHHHH!!!!

    There’s no difference between Commies and extremist Capitalists. There’s just those in between who daren’t mention it.

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