Boris Gets Bonkers’ Pointman

The Mayor of London is to get close protection from the Prime Mentalist’s old bodyguard.

Having given his distinctive hair a pre-Games chop, like a school child ready for a new term, you can barely recognise him anyway….

“Philandering” Politician’s Love Child Awarded £15,000

The High Court have banned Associated News papers from naming a “philandering” politician again and more specifically, his love child. Associated have also been ordered to pay £15,000 in damages for publishing photographs of the child – named only as AAA – and any further reference or photos are prohibited.

The court heard that the politician was married at the time of the affair and has had a string of extra-marital liaisons in the past, including getting a previous mistress pregnant. The elected politician, still serving in office, was described as “reckless, philandering, adulterous and has betrayed his wife. He has achieved a level of notoriety as a result of extramarital adulterous liaisons”. Apparently photographing the child pointed to who their distinctive looking father is. Who could it possibly be?

Valerie Vaz’s Plan to Solve Youth Unemployment

On the front page of her website, Valerie Vaz MP points out that her constituency of Walsall South has the 31st highest unemployment rate in the country. She seems to be solving it one case at a time though – with her teenage daughter first in line. Liberty Vaz-Townsend, a 17-year-old A-Level student at the £16,000-a-year private school Latymer Upper, is a parliamentary pass holder and apparently working as a secretary to her mum:

What was it that Ed said about giving opportunities to disadvantaged youngsters?

We know that in the halls of Westminster, at the seat of our democracy, there remain too few opportunities for people from lower and middle income families“.

Guido wonders how many people Valerie interviewed for the job…

UPDATE:

Guido’s story appears to have led to a vacancy in Valerie Vaz’s office:

A job well done…

Norman Lamont smells the coffee:

“People talk as if there is mass austerity, but it is nothing to what is happening in continental Europe”

Expenses Cheat Hanningfield Hiring on Penal Reform

Lord Hanningfield, the peer sent down for expenses fraud last year, is advertising for a researcher. According to W4MP:

Lord Hanningfield is keen to use his recent experiences and position in the House of Lords to highlight the need for penal reform and a greater understanding and acceptance of mental health issues. To do this he is looking for an exceptional individual to assist him“.

And people are opposing Lords reform for what reason exactly?

Via @MuscularLiberal.

Cruddas Sues Sunday Times For Libel

Disgraced former Tory party treasurer Peter Cruddas is suing the Sunday Times for libel over their secret camera cash-for-access sting. Cruddas is seeking unlimited damages from the paper and has also applied for an injunction to prevent them from mentioning the allegations again in the future. If only, say, there were a film of the whole thing…

Via ConservativeHome.

Osborne Denies He Has Strategy

Speculation is mounting this afternoon that George Osborne has been relieved of his role as Tory party strategy chief. When asked earlier if he had given up the role the Chancellor revealed: “I only have one job“.

Guido put it to Osborne’s people that their man no longer holds the stategy role within the Conservative Party. His spokesman said: “He’s only ever had one role – Chancellor. Not signalling any change“. That explains it…

UPDATE:

A No.11 source gets in touch in regard to Osborne being in strategy meetings: “There’s nothing wrong with having a Prime Minister and Chancellor who get on and work together. The last lot could barely speak to each other and look where that got us!

Scrounging Lords Take Break Until October

Fresh from having the debate on their survival kicked into the long grass, the 765 peers sitting in the House of Lords will celebrate by taking a 10-week summer holiday this evening.

The House rises until October 8th, meaning that its members will have to wait to enjoy the £175,000 of taxpayers’ money they have just spent on revamping the decor in their parliamentary offices. Our dosh has been spent on dozens of new pieces of art and statues, including a bust of Prince Philip and a painting of the Jubilee procession. Come back Nick, all is forgiven…

Polly Inflates Cuts by 5100%
Guardian Forced to Retract Toynbee Yarn

Polly Toynbee was on particularly dramatic form yesterday as she attacked council tax benefit reforms in the Guardian. However those revisiting her scaremongering online today might notice one glaring correction:

“This article was amended on 24 July 2012. The

[…]

Chancellor Zero: There Are No Excuses

Chancellor Zero says there are no excuses.

At least he did the TV interviews himself this time…[…]

Twitter Back Down in Spoof Legal Dispute

Twitter will release the personal information of a spoof account holder to a Daily Mail subsidiary.

Read the latest developments only over on Media Guido[…]

Twitter to Release Spoof Account Details

Guido understands that Twitter will hand over the personal details of the Steve Auckland spoof account holder to Northcliffe Media after refusing to back him in his legal dispute with the Daily Mail subsidiary. On Monday Guido published the subpoena […]



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Quote of the Day

Tim Shipman to Adam Boulton on the TV debates…

“If Cameron gets in a car to go to the debate, Lynton Crosby will stage a car crash.”

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