July 24th, 2012

Proof that Ed Miliband is Jimmy Carter


  1. 1
    Lee says:

    he a twat.


  2. 2

    He collapsed before Carter was born. Or was that his father, Ralph?


    • 6
      Ray says:

      He of the hungry dog bark?


    • 61
      Forkbender says:

      One thing Monica the difference in ages when Jimmy Carter was jogging and the age Teddy Boy is now, is quite large, why politicos do it, goodness only knows, they probably think they are super fit, young and trendy, Ted probably not done any running since he was at school.


      • 73

        Quite. Politics is about 0.00001% about politics and 99.99999% about inconsequentiality.


        • 174
          Blowing Whistles says:

          CRMM your and others’ comments reminded me of baghdad Annie – that old battleaxe from the Rhondda ….

          Now there is an inconsequential old hag – who at any given chance would yakkie dah all day long about issues in every other jurisdiction – other than “her own back yard”!

          Anyone know what that old windbaggers bag lady is up to these days?


          • I used to work the Rhondda in my late teens.

            My lasting impression was that nearly all the women had big tits.

            You never know, one of them could have been Baghdad Annie, we shall never know…

            But when I grew up, I put away childish things… and concentrated on pussies.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            CRMM – “when I grew up” ….

            You complete troll – you have not grown up and are not likely to any day now either.


          • Grassy Knolls says:

            “Growing up” is just admitting that you are going to die, bored.


          • 1 Corinthians 13:11 says:

            Google the words in italics and you might actually learn something.


  3. 3
    Anonymous says:

    Why to the political twats go jogging when it is quite clearly killing them. Fucking arseholes.


    • 16
      M says:

      keeps them out the office for a while where they cause all sort of problems


    • 59
      Anonymous says:

      Aids can kill;that health warning should be attached to your last sentence.


      • 63
        Forkbender says:

        Ask Dr Kelly


      • 118
        The Paragnostic says:

        Why do the left continue to promote homosexuality as a lifestyle choice when AIDS is a clear risk? According to their beloved precautionary principle, surely pederasty is as dangerous as Class A substances, and should therefore be banned.

        But they still insist on promoting deviancy while banning perfectly safe recreational pharmaceuticals.



    • 104
      Rob says:

      not clearly enough, unfortunately.


    • 124
      Harry Stottle says:

      You’re right. We should do everything we can to encourage them to do it more often.


  4. 4
    Kebab Time says:

    Dear Guido

    On your last story ( the BBC/leveson one) it seems that you left hat tip off, i sent this story to Neo Guido 2 hours before it was published only this blog.


  5. 9
    Van it, E? Fair? says:

    ROLFS !! nice one .


    • 37
      Diocletian (Gaius Aurelius Valerius Diocletianus says:

      Well, thank you!


      • 44
        Diocletian says:

        I only have an anterior bracket to support my pediment. The posterior was omitted…


        • 49
          Sir Aston Martin says:

          Rolling On Lavvy Floor Shitting?

          I can’t keep up wiv de kidz.


        • 65
          Sir Aston Clinton says:

          There you go again: trying to justify your poncy education. The world moved on from speaking Latin a few hundred years ago, darlin. People that were forced to learn it just come across as thick relics of a bygone age when they bandy that shit about now.

          Don’t you?


          • Diocletian says:

            I just Googles it.


          • Diocletian says:

            Latin is a language,
            Dead as Dead Can Be,
            First it Killed the Romans,
            Now It’s Killing Me.

            Is that what you mean? Is it?


          • The Paragnostic says:

            As an extremely intelligent relic, who was force fed Latin at school, the only riposte possible is: pueri videatur et non audivit


          • Becky Pippins says:

            Piss of, you tart *smiles sympathetically*


          • Becky Pippins says:

            …and tries to force an “f” into her post.


          • Diocletian says:


            Even at Alton Towers? ;-)


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Some of you lot should take a look at the garbled latin rubbish that the Scottish Judishills pump out every day. It’s their “Trick” at deception. Lord Hope no Hope, Lord Hamilton even less hope and Lady nose some tricks – of the outer house she is a trick.


          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Lady Dorian – A dirty Zioloon


  6. 12
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Wby do some people need personal trainers?


    • 26
      Lord C0e says:

      I hope they are Adidas®! Keep the Olympic® spirit alive!

      Anyone seen William, I need a good hot sweaty wrestle.


    • 199
      peech imspediment says:

      Get Politician’s Foot if you wear someone elses.


  7. 13
    Sir Jeremy Cheeseburger says:

    What a weird cu’nt ….and thanks to the votes of the hordes of professional benefits scroungers, disability fraudsters, and public sector scum, soon to be our next PM

    This country is going down the shitter faster than a John Prescott turd after a six curry breakfast.


  8. 15
    The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

    Why is he such a total spas?


  9. 17
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    There is one politician who looks amazingly athletic when running. The sight of Boris Johnson, bursting out of the woods in full pursuit of a bevy of scantily clad girls – all to the Benny Hill theme tune – would make a fine part of the Olympic Opening Ceremony.


    • 51
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      You sneaked a preview, then. More security is obviously needed.


    • 58
      Sir Aston Clinton says:

      I see the vision but for some reason Boris is holding a Cadbury’s Flake in a menacing manner.


      • 90
        Rambler says:

        Looking from the bottom, there’s a lovely view up your wooded incline, by the way.


        • 137
          Sir Aston Clinton says:

          Thanks. You’re not the first to admire my contours.


          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            Have we met? White’s? Boodle’s? The Athenaeum?


          • Diamond White says:

            You were closest when you said Whites.


          • very wholly says:

            Diamond White, FFS? Look, you unsatisfied with the way the world is, you hammers your keyboard.

            I unsatisfied with the way the world is, I hammers myself.

            Diamond White, FFS!! I drinking Stew’s 10 day-old Timothy Taylors and very nice is it too.


          • Diamente says:

            Read more carefully.

            I didn’t accuse you of drinking Diamond White. It was my given name at birth (OK a bit afterwards, I’ll grant you.)

            I was making a comparison for the benefit of someone who may not have your powers of discernment in this highly specialist area.

            Why has everyone got to take offence at the slightest provocation nowadays. There. I have had my say.

            FAOD When I said grant, I wasn’t talking whisky, either.


            Fancy a kiss?


          • Grassy Knolls says:



    • 77
      Forkbender says:

      Would Boris be running naked to keep in line with the orignal Olympic rules of only males in the races and they must be naked you know he is very into Ancient Greek things, and of course he has to live the life. Oh I forgot, women weren’t allowed to watch the games


      • 93

        Armand D’Angour has fallen at the first fence on that one, notwithstanding his Fellowship at Jesus College, University of Oxford.

        They will observe with rapt delight
        The archer draw his bowstring tight,
        The skillful rider guide her horse,
        And lightning bolt around the course.


  10. 18
    Henry Crun says:

    Milibandwagon runs like a spacker.


  11. 20
    Sprog says:

    Like this


  12. 21
    Sniper says:

    Carter, with his house building charity work, can actually a use a tool.

    Milliband, with his lack of any world experience, is a tool.

    I trust this clarification proves that, no matter how bad Carter was, Milliband is worse.


    • 81
      Forkbender says:

      Carter was basically a good guy but what kind of tool Teddy is I wouldn’t know, a new hammer with fault, a hacksaw where the teeth fall out when used, etc


  13. 22
    Moosey Koussey says:

    I have nothing to add to this debate at all.
    Won’t stop me though.. gidder’s cast iron comb over SAS SNOTTY!!!!!!!!***&^&*


  14. 24
    jogoff says:

    Jimmy Carter was obviously suffering dehydration. Fortunately from the photo Ed Miliband has fluid reserves aplenty but it will be a while before the firkin at his gut changes to a six pack


  15. 28
    SpinAl damage says:

    Another retard jogging.


  16. 29
    Shakin' Stevens' Manager says:

    All this “Carter” business is nonsense. Ed is clearly a big fan of Gwent’s finest, pop superstar Shakin’ Stevens!


  17. 31
    Morph says:

    He’d better a make a phone call to Aardman – the plasticine is melting!


    • 49
      Tony ♥ says:

      I used to roll you up into a lump and boff into you when the show went off-air.


      • 56
        nick park-bench says:

        Why do you think I chose to make my living working with Plasticine/


        • 79
          Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

          My Reg was extremeley creative with plasticine, dear. He had several carton-loads which, after lunch on Sundays , he’d plop onto the dining-room table and begin to fashion the most extraordinary phallus-type shapes while I knitted them their own little …comment truncated by a moderator


  18. 33
    Winnie Churchill says:

    \/. Jog on Ed. Muppet.


  19. 38
    SAS SNOTTY!!%%$%$££"$^% says:

    Someone left the cake out in the rain.


  20. 39
    Spinal damage says:

    Fatso Watson needs to go for a jog.


    • 88
      Forkbender says:

      yup and he can take Eric Pickles but would the London pavements be able to cope with the pounding, they would probably to get on the road as HGV’s are not allowed on pavements


  21. 40
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I can’t thee either


  22. 41
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Maybe he’s got dodgy knees after grovelling to his union bosses in order to become leader of the Libor party.


  23. 42
    Anonymous says:

    He just has even fewer people supporting him.


  24. 43
    Ed Balls says:

    Run Forrest run!


    • 92
      Forkbender says:

      What about a challenge run between Guido, Watson, Pickles, Harry Cole, and few others of the same age and physical shape, it could be the peak ending of the para olympics


    • 94
      Forkbender says:

      I have been Motty Bottied again


  25. 45
    Spinal damage says:

    I think ed will appear more dignified if he rides a tricycle.


  26. 57
    Nokia Alert says:

    INCOMING !!!!


  27. 62
    Sir William Waad says:

    Shorts were shorts in those days, unlike the droopy drawers chaps wear now.


    • 74
      La Fold says:

      Was thinking the same things, shorts are self explanatory. I say bring back those really wee ones that footballers in the 80s used to wear (although I draw the line at Fila tennis sorts ala Wham in the Club Tropicana video)


    • 100
      Forkbender says:

      They seem to have gone back to the 1930′s/1940′s designs mind Sir Bill I used to like those shorts lasses wore in the 1970′s , unfortunately I wasn’t very struck with many of those that wore them either massive thighs or thighs like pipe cleaners


  28. 66

    Libor now honest says Adair Turner

    People are trying to do it as honestly as they can.

    Fills you with confidence? I doubt he would know how to start checking. I would.


    • 126
      The Paragnostic says:

      Adair Turner knows about as much about Libor as I know about feminine hygiene products.

      How a bombastic useless twat like that became head of the FSA is… oh, never mind – he was part of Gordon’s plan all along, wasn’t he?


      • 158
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Now that wasn’t a very sensible post. You’ll have Annette Curton asking for advice on tampon brands.


    • 197
      Blowing Whistles says:

      On wonders when Sir Michael Lyons is going to be rolled out as some big gun …. oh they can’t; what with his connections to Mouchel the basket case.


  29. 70
    La Fold says:

    What an utter Toby!


  30. 72
    Flash Harry says:

    Why’s he wearing shell suit trousers?


  31. 76
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    The question that fairly screams to be asked is why Ed Miliband would engage in such exercise for physical fitness when his oxygen intake mechanism, i.e his schnozzola, is not fit for purpose? Even assuming he were in the best of shape, he’d still have to gasp to make sure he was getting all the air he could into his lungs, and he’d look every bit the retarded mouth-breather he looks like when he’s just standing still!


  32. 82
    George Gideon Oliver Osborne says:

    For the umpteenth time, there is no Plan B for the UK economy.

    And if you don’t like it then bloody well like it, take the refund and fuck orf.


  33. 87
    annette curton says:

    Why don’t they hand him the Olympic torch FFS, seems like everybody else in the country has had a go.


  34. 89
    annette curton says:


  35. 91
    Anonymous says:

    That would be Jimmy Carter – the decent and humane man who beat an incumbent representing a discredited and morally bankrupt right wing party and who is remembered as a good and effective leader.

    Yup, I can go with that.


  36. 96
    sound track of our lives says:

    This one is to played simultaneously with the photo at the top of this page:


  37. 97
    Jim says:

    This is the Man that is going to buy, with borrowed money, the next Election.
    The rest is just a repeat.


    • 101
      Ed Bo££ocks says:

      I invented Neo-Endogenous Bo££ocks !

      Evadne thinks I’m ever so clever !!

      And so does Ed !! Money will come out of the Money Pit we have dug for ourselves !!

      As I have said many times, – it’s all Neo-Endogenous Bo££ocks !


      • 129
        The Paragnostic says:

        I’m going to be visiting Alton soon.

        If I happen to see either you or your ghastly spouse, please close your ears to the inevitable torrent of abuse.


        • 159
          Lou Scannon says:

          I used to quite like Alton, but then I checked out the Evadne connection. Where did it all go wrong ?


      • 142
        Dame Hilda says:

        You are truly unhinged.


  38. 102
    RK says:

    Ed doesn’t need a personal trainer. Just get his big brother to run behind him with a stinging nettle like my old PE teacher used to do.


    • 105
      David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

      Mine doubled -up as my RE teacher. He used to ram God down my throat whilst wielding a cricket bat.

      Nevermind. I turned out fairly normal. Continuing with the sheep theme:


      • 107
        annette curton says:

        On your Botty?.


        • 112
          David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

          No, annette. Mr. Shearn, the acting Head, was in charge of spanking.

          “Thank you, sir. Please may I have another…etc.”

          Funny thing is, I wish he’s close those curtains again and do it properly for me.

          He probably dead now, I guess.


          • annette curton says:

            Don’t forget to feed Tinker.


          • annette curton says:

            Do your own posts tinker.


          • Sir Aston Clinton says:

            Stop nicking my names, annette.


          • Carpe Diem (Fish of the Day) says:



            This is a family website.

            Stop bickering you foulmouthed cuпts.


          • Titus Finckter says:

            + plus ze van


          • that one says:

            OK. You’re on.


          • Botha Botty says:

            I very shy. I know u just another person but the sheer volume of ur noddle make me feel like a bit inadequate sometimes.

            U knows who I is. I come on here when I got computer, I blagged it, I made people laugh, I stretched myself. Believe me, I saw some of the shit I wrote reappear in the “highest” places the next day, wotever.

            lols @ “highest”

            It seem like a distant dream now. It were fun. I explores my “arty” side in SL now. They luvs me, toooo.

            Wot time then?


          • Telegraph non-reader says:

            I is jus a pussy , darlin .

            U knows that .

            Likes u , I can gets excited sometimes .

            Won’t be for some months but I always keeps my promises .

            SC xx ♥

            (Don’t forget however amazing some people appear to be , we are all dead in the end . It helps to keep some balance . I am just ordinary . )


          • Pheew!! says:

            Oh. *slightly disappointed* OK. I go to my blog tomorrow and post somethin new.

            *Spanks herself*


          • :-D says:

            Ur Blog?

            Linky linky?


          • Time Lord says:

            T’ain’t really a blog. I dumps piccies on some mug’s server. Shrody’s Cat will point the way, honey.


          • Sir Texas Casio-Sinclair says:

            You don’t even understand the concept of “server”, do you E?


          • Ew*n*e Bo*ha says:

            Nope. Pleeeze stop diggin at me .

            I jus come on here to have a laugh , FFS .

            I never sez I could free u from ur slavery , did I ??

            E x .


          • North-West London Botty Spanking Services plc says:

            You called?


          • Over here, babes... says:

            So, Ewa. Are you suffering from SAD in the middle of an English summer, do you think?


          • frankly fishy says:

            Maybe, baby but I tooo pissed to worry bout SAD at the mo : P


          • ♥ plc says:

            Na Night , Dave darlin .

            Stitched me up like a kipper u did , xx !!

            lu ♥


          • Dave says:

            Ha ha, sunshine.

            *motors off into the night……*


  39. 108
    m'Lard Prezza says:

    FFS! when the Domino van gonna turn up!! I’m ‘ungry!!


    • 148
      annette curton says:

      Nobody could be as Olympic as you, certainly not in the 50 metre sprint to the Quattro Fungus Pizza with herd of whole OX topping.


      • 152
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Bugger! Piggy Pickles has just heard about this new event and asked for an entry form.


        • 162
          annette curton says:

          Too late, his entry form has now exceeded the Olympic villages health and safety width and weight limits.


  40. 111
    Apes more intelligent than socialists says:


  41. 114
    Andrew Efiong says:

    What a plonker!

    He’s unfit to run for office, that’s for sure.


  42. 119
    HenryV says:

    No I won’t have this at all. Jimmy Carter for all his faults was a true American whose family had been American for generations. Jimmy Carter actually had a real job and had served his country in its navy. Unlike Ed who is the child of an I-I, never had a real job, and despite holding a ministerial post hasn’t really severed “our” country just taking money and pissed other money (in huge amounts) up the wall.


    • 149
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Be fair; he did his very best to “sever” our country as part of the last government.


    • 167
      Your Friendly Neighbourhood US Presidential Biographies Service says:

      Jimmy Carter’s father was a businessman who became a gentleman farmer because of FDR New Deal pr!ce support legislation. Briefly: for purposes of enriching soil depleted by cotton, thanks to George Washington Carver’s research, and arresting the spread of boll weevils, Southern planters had started to grow pe*anuts. Trouble was, too many pe*anuts, pr!ce goes through the floor, Southern Congressmen and Senators pass pr!ce supports, FDR signs it, the US Army buys up the surplus pe*anuts, and serves pe*anut butter to the soldiers. It was nice work if you could get it. Carter’s father did. Jimmy inherited this cash cow, and, to his credit, was a hands-on operator of the farm, despite the fact that he did not know his arse from a hole in the ground about farming, being a nuclear engineering officer in the US Navy by education and profession. But Carter is hardly Abe-Lincoln-raised-in-a-log-cabin; prosperous politically-connected snout-in-the-trough father who got him the appointment to the US Naval Academy– sounds like old-fashioned Democratic Party country gentry to us.


  43. 122
    Don't unseat Red Ed says:

    What a flat footed mong faced super geek, just look at him.



    • 144
      The Inbred Halfwit in Number 10 says:

      The scary thing is, thanks to me, Red Ed’s going to be the next PM.

      Still, I’ll be working for my beloved EU in Brussels, so I won’t care.

      PS; I’m jolly-well looking forward to the end of the Games – then I can sack 20,000 troops, all over again! Haw haw haw haw!


  44. 125
    Jogging with Mr. Ed says:


  45. 133
    Padre Pederastia says:

    If he’d been in my choir I’d have put him on the right road.


  46. 135
    Isaac Huntoo says:

    Ed ‘Wallace’ Milibean.
    Ed ‘Wiggy’ Bollucks.
    God help us!.


    • 143
      Anonymous says:

      Davy Wavy Cameron !!we need more than God’s help!!!!


      • 153
        Inbred Tit Wavey Davey says:

        I needed a lot of help, recently. I’d sacked 20,000 troops – because I foresaw absolutely no reason on Earth why we’d ever need them again – and then suddenly this Ol*ympic thing sprung out of no-where! Gosh! Luckily, I recalled all the sacked troops just before they got to the Dole Queue.

        Crikey, it was close!

        Still, at the end of the Games I’ll sack them all, all over again! Go*ld medal to me for handing out P45s, eh, what what! Haw haw haw!


  47. 140
    Susie says:

    “Run fat boy… Run!”

    Best done with an Arkansas accent.


  48. 147
    Manuel says:

    Anybody spare 50bn euro for a couple of weeks?


    • 151
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Lord Cashbox of DeSleaze is usually good for the readies. Interest is 100% per week or a choice of appendages.


    • 157
      annette curton says:

      I’ve seen people try that one on with a tenner (sterling) down the local, they generally got found out after a couple of weeks, but dim Rumpey can always be relied upon for a good piss-up all round at other peoples expense.


    • 161
      T.B£iar - the People's Messiah says:

      Just looked down the back of the sofas in all of our ten houses. Yup ! Got 50bn euros, mostly in coins: 6% annual interest ( secured ) suit ?


    • 316
      Bud Abbott says:

      Can anybody give me two tens for a five?

      (Gee, thanks, Gordon, you’re a real pal, helping out ol’ Buddy-roo like that!)


  49. 170

    I am sitting down after dinner, masticating furiously, and sipping my Pertsovka Polish pepper vodka. I bought it over 15 years ago and have tonight started to drink it again.

    It is as good as when I drunk the first half of the bottle.

    Politicians, bankers, corporations, sovereign states come, go and fail. But some things stay the same, fortunately.


  50. 179
    gildedtumbril says:

    Carter was ans is a useless creep. The millipede and his sibling are not even that good.


  51. 189
    grobdj says:

    Ed Miliband’s Movement is indeed the personification of the British Labour Party


    • 203
      kfgngjui says:


      Fat around the middle, slightly crumpled, sticking firmly the the left of the pavement whilst looking for a dog turd to skid on.


    • 208
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The Labour Party are just a direct subsidiary of the Zioloons – but don’t for one minute think that the core labour nutters are going to wake and realise who they really are the front foot solidier dupes for. The Zios also have the not tory party in their grip as well… oh and the dumb libs.


      • 212
        JadedJean says:

        Hear, hear and amen.


      • 214
        AC1 says:

        Tin foil hat time for you.


      • 216
        JadedJean says:

        Churchill sold out to the Zioloons (check out Hansard from 1919 for the proof) just as Blair did in recent times. Alas, I don’t think Blair realised this…just as Thatcher didn’t realise she was being manipulated by Joseph.

        Just look at Blair’s piece today in The Telegraph about the “Muslim Threat”. He truly is a “Useful Idiot”…hook, line and sinker.

        Fucking twat!


        • 223
          The real wacists says:

          The Zioloons need to take a long look in history books and the mirror and ask themselves why they are so disliked everywhere they go. They’ve had a county of their own since 1948 so why don’t they make a fresh start of it and fuck off back there?


        • 243
          The Paragnostic says:

          At least Thatcher refused to meet Begin, describing him (correctly) as a terrorist for his involvement in the King David Hotel bombing.

          Why we ever acknowledged that shitty little state full of land thieves and terrorists is beyond me.


          • Owain Glyndwr says:

            glad to hear that you know phuck all about israel, still get a friend to show you where it tis on a map


  52. 218
    Aunty Matter says:

    I see Alan Mongbridger surfaced on the BBC news, shame the beeboid didn’t pull his tongue out of his arse long enough to ask him about the Guardian going down the toilet pan.


    • 227
      the stench of hypocrisy says:

      Did the BBC question Rubbisher about David Leigh’s admission that he was a phone hacker?


      • 229
        Anonymous says:

        Is Rusbridger obsessed with Murdoch because Murdoch runs a successful,profitable company while the Guardian is haemorraging readers and cash?


    • 232
      Don't tell me: I pay for, I watch it says:

      I thought you were anti-BBC and wouldn’t watch it on principle?


  53. 222
    Saffron says:

    I for one dont need photos of ed millicrap to tell me he is the son of an illegal immigrant ralph who was a communist asshole.
    Why this latter day asshole is leader of the libor party just says to me that the electorate are braindead.
    With what is going on today I dont think we need to worry about red ed and his cohorts the unions.
    more to the point look at the EUSSR and how this Commie outfit is imploding,and folks the money markets are ensuring that this crowd of ultra socialists will meet their end.
    Next the Spanish and next the Italians and next the french,and after that will the germainians pick up the tab.I dont think so, Ein Grosse Frau Merkalia will be stopped from doing that.Frankly the whole euro/communist dream is an utter disaster as will be seen.


    • 231
      We look after our own says:

      Illegal immigrants to multi-millionaires in one generation, a typical family of socialist jooozs.


    • 236
      47 leather-clad Village People extras milling around Soho Square fiddling with their Bl*ckberrys says:

      You don’t fool us, Botty Boy.

      *fights to get to upstairs front seat*


  54. 233
    Daily Express columnist Patrick O'Flynn says:


  55. 242
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Gavin Esler (Chief Liebour Shill), a prize cnut needs FGM on Newsnight!


    • 249
      just asking says:

      His constant interruptions of Lynne Featherstone were ridiculous.
      What’s the point of asking a question and then shouting through the answer?


      • 326
        Me, wiv stars in me eyes says:

        Yeah, he does that on Dateline London too every weekend. He needs a squib up his rectal tubes, might blow some sense into his empty head.


    • 253
      Fish says:

      Yes indeed.

      I’ve just realised, looking at Milipede’s photo again, it must be the FGM that’s impeding his running action.

      BTW: What a useless article Lynn Featherstone is…no wonder the country is in the shit if she is representative of the quality of ministers. Utterly fuckin Hopeless. Pathetic.

      BTW, BTW: How come these Somali refugees, seekers of asylum, people who have escaped from terror feel it necessary to migrate from the first country of sanctuary (France for example) to the UK?…And why do these who have flown from tyrany feel able to return home for a couple of weeks, for holidays or family weddings or to mutilate their daughters?


      • 263
        do me a favour says:

        Is Gavin Esler a member of the Tax Avoiding Presenters Club that the BBC are so fond of employing?


  56. 247
    Confused atheist says:

    Looks like someone has taken exception to the Sun’s website


  57. 261
    Hahahahaha says:


    • 268
      JH says:

      Next time, paint the wall behind you before starting the camera.

      Watching it dry would be great entertainment relative to what is going on in the foreground.


  58. 267
    blank says:

    Dave ??


  59. 271
    Fuck Dave's government says:

    Now that we have been told that paying in cash is immoral. I have decided not to fund Dave’s government anymore as he only gives it all away with EU subs, foreign aid and rents for immigrants.


    • 308
      Dave's Govmnt says:

      Be fair!! – FFS how are we to fund the EUSSR scam and the O/S Aid scams unless you little people pay taxes?

      Answer that!


  60. 279
    Itsa Hard life being supported by the taxpayer says:



  61. 300
    Cam Can't and Ed Can says:

    I reckon Cam is on his way out. Apart from his obvious disastrous green Euro love in I find myself thinking Ed can.


    • 312
      Omar The Magical Gyppo Hates Butlin's says:

      Ed can what, exactly ?

      Count to ten without using his fingers ?

      Write his own name ?

      Stay upright whilst running ?

      Faced with an open goal, put the ball in the net and not twat it over the crossbar ?

      And that’d be “NO” x 4


    • 313
      Tachybaptus says:

      ‘Because Cam can’t, Ed can.’
      Because I do not wish to be boiled, I want to be fried.


    • 315
      albacore says:

      Depends really on how you want to be bled
      By a commie “Tory” or a commie red
      They’ll both smirk and offer you pie in the sky
      And piss themselves laughing while they bleed you dry


  62. 306
    A Long Smudge of Piss Posing As PM says:

    I just want to reassure all those who put me in this position of Power and Privilege that I abide by my pledge to ensure our collective well-being and continued access to all the EUSSR scams that mean – and deliver – so much to each of us in this select cartel. Furthermore, I have no knowledge or interest in common trades people or those that are employed by them.


  63. 317
    not a machine says:

    Always fascinating to hear bad economic news spun one sided “worst double dip recssion for 50yrs” coughs er we dont seem to be in a pool of one .

    Mr Draghi says Euro is hear to stay , yet grexit was doing the rounds again , if books are any good that having look through . Spain bonds hit 7.5 coughs er need about another 100bn euro to help regions , not banks this time , sorry folks germany on holiday , eurogeddon will have to wait . Sages of money funds were called to say “weve been here before ” Sky commissons new epic magical adventure series “debtbad” where an humble accoutant is forced to face the beasts and monsters of the diabolical brussels empire , he must choose between peseta or euro , or the village gets it , no more euro funds .

    Perhaps as tribute to the origional Stanislav (who no doubt would have blogged a classic on cash in hand)

    Evenin Stanislav come plumb for you cheap , best rates , no need to seek taxing man , pipe leak I fix , who needs paper work , I come round , repair leak , toilet blocked I clear for you best rates . Taxing man , he no repair blocked toilet , why does he need money , I no run rackett , just plumb for you , taxing man should be chasing up funny firms who have reciepts made in little well known tax evasion rackett EU country , should be straight in car , see top man of tax evasion company saying “why you cheat at big boys fondue game ” rules state , you live here, do business here , enjoy all benefits , why pay no tax ?? Stanislav do it for you , go straight to Ideas bubble room and say to millionaire skate boarder showing cat in blender , latest laugh vid U like . Why you cheat so many mns of quids from economy you do so much business in , in my village in foothills of ural mountains , we have folk lore tale about man who did not pay roubles for village fate as was clever accountman , story goes “Village elder asked sheep herder to pay towards village festival . sheep herder said how what money he earned went to impoverished home for federal europe and he was now to be called a globalised instrument. Village elder scratched head , went on journery to see plain office adress in tax evasion country and saw fleet of big cars and realised sheep herder was shyster , dressed in zany corporate outfit ” look up story on Foogle or Famazon , all true Stanilsav not lie . In big picture taximan becoming gene spliced with new generation corporate shyster , with complusive disorder that makes him garner big pay rise in somthing taximan cant get hand on , best invention by Labour , create generous giving system on win win even when whole country broke , 10000 quid a table just to kiss hand of socialist fantasiest , stanislav said it would be money for old rope and was proved right , when lights came on , whole bunch caught with hand in pocket having kiss , make stanislav sick , like night when man lover thought was too drunk to notice .
    Taximan no live in flat with lifts that smell of piss , why taximan make ordinary plumber , ride horse backwards through town square having rotten fruit and veg thrown ?, but not coporate shyster? who couldnt care if roads are repaired . Taximan needs to go back to ideas bubble lounge , put feet up , play retro acarade game and with robot dog that does whimsical tricks, to sort out , Taximan beggining to make Labour look like credible , nice gentleman rather than bunch of liars and fraudsters who left nation dying of debt in gutter and left cheeky note of sum total of 13yrs “sorry theres no money left” . Taximan may well be wanting whole world run by Foogle and pay by phone for small things so great monitor can proclaim all is good and proper done by slaves , triumph of facism over honesty , world be much safer when you dont have to make anything other than choices we think you be allowed , best way , we look after your money make entire new cyber landscape , where you like life like floating avatar , meet people in cyber bar , take cyber drugs , run off for cyber sex while all time , you just staring at a screen and clicking mouse , getting obese and forgetting about how to live in reality , while coporate shyster has big meal with taximan to discuss , next evolution of nice idiots .
    Stanislav stick to plumbing and holy bible , always said that total control will end in unthought failiure , lies do not compute even with biggest super progress computer going , ye shall not eat the fruit of the tree of knowledge , or perhaps this time, farm people only to eat from fruit of tree of knowledge.
    Stanislave tired need some rest , will be on holiday for a few weeks , spend some time with mother nature and trying to offload his euros .


  64. 318
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Remember all the furore because G4S, a private company, cocked up. True the management was incompetent but, unlike the public sector workers and the PCS union, they did not deliberately, unpatriotically and selfishly try to sabotage the games.

    So where is the similar furore in the overtly hypocritical parts of the media about that?


    • 319
      UKIP.i.am says:

      Its all Fatchur’s fault of course. She did nothing like enough to castrate the blackmailing power of the greedy unions.


  65. 323
    Alf Garnett says:

    Gad, Sir, do you know nothing?

    Mister Ed is also the Shadow Minister for Funny Walks.


  66. 324
    smoggie says:

    I hope the guy with moobs on his right ain’t his bodyguard. Look at the three gorillas round Jimmy Carter – sort of chaps you wouldn’t want to argue with.


  67. 327
    Aunty Matter says:

    A BBC male was describing excitedly this morning how he was “frisked” by soldiers coming into the Olympic site. I now suspect we will see a few thousand more of them queuing up to get the same treatment.


    • 330
      Brown Bullshit Corpse - top of the Shit Heap says:

      Me first!


    • 344
      Quantrill says:

      And, the BBC don’t want soldiers dressed like soldiers in case someone thinks they are something to do with the army. Anyway, here’s an idea after learning that Oly*pic advertising demands that no one mentions certain words in pairs for the forseable future. Let’s extend this to all media and ban the following words until 2013 at least:

      Olympic; Games: Sport: Athlete/s: Olympians: London: 2012: Security: Greatest: Show: on: Earth: Village: Para-olympic/ian/s: competitor: torch; flame; committee; judges;Gold; Silver; Bronze; medal;velodrome; swimming; meters; sailing;

      Beach volley ball is of course ok.

      Let’s have a few more??


  68. 329
    Revd. Phoney (£rd Fucking Way) B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:

    Hi !! …. Me ‘n Cherry are VERY VERY HAPPY !!!! and very VERY VERY RICH !!!!! hah ah hahahhh aahahahah hhhhAAA!!

    But I want to te££ you this morning that the way to treat the Muzzos is to throw £ots of £o££y at them! Remember, I started Noo£ieBore so £ots of £o££y would come MY way – and it has!


  69. 331

    There’s only one man who can light my Olympic flame


    • 339
      My Lord MadleScum of PrittyBoyz says:

      My Ring is washed and powdered and smelling lovely darling – wanna open the games?


  70. 332
    Pro-Labour journo condemns standard of schools that are the result of Labour policies but manages to imply it's the Tories fault says:

    Only just caught up with the news about the Guardian’s education journo sending her kid to private school. I’m astounded by her claim that she’s only doing it because local state schools aren’t up to standard. Um, remind me who was in charge of education for 13 years? It sticks in the stomach to read an excuse that implies the current government is somehow responsible for the standard of state schools.


    • 335
      Ed Balls says:

      Labour philosophy: Schools must not produce winners.

      Now, I just have to try and work out why youth unemployment is so high.


    • 337
      Noo£ieBore Edyerkashun apparatchik says:

      If there’s ONE thing we LERNT – it’s how to make shit stick!! – ‘specially when we want to pass the blame – COS IT AIN’T OUR FULT! – Nuffin IS!!! Money, debt, – nuffin!


  71. 333

    Frisking at the Olympics? Is it luvvly jubbly wimmins doin’ all dat luvvly frottin’ and feelin’ stuffs? Den I’m well in! In like Flynn! Erollina Flynn, innit.


    • 340
      London 2012 suddenly becomes interesting says:

      Imagine getting frisked by the women’s beach volleyball teams..


  72. 334
    The Tit in No 10 says:

    I say you jolly chaps!! I don’t know much about money, but, – like Tony, – I’m very very rich and am therefore not involved in everyday life, budgeting, and cares!

    But I’m hoping mad with George!!! HOW can he cut a few billion or whatever it is to my Wind Farm Scam and Family Fortune!!!?? Answer me that !!!! Watt? Wattage?? And what about taxing Watter??? And Sun ??????


  73. 336
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the athletes of the 2012 Olympics well. I will be cheering them on from my rocking horse.


  74. 341
    Gordon Brown says:

    What’s that you say *urggghh*. No canna quite here you *urggghhh* *push*. *relief* That’s better speak up Brown you are through.

    Brown, that’s like me he he he.


  75. 348
    Maggies Pearl Necklace says:

    Ed is the sort of kid who would have had the shit kicked out of him at school…


Seen Elsewhere

BBC: It Was Guido Wot Won It | MediaGuido
Nick Robinson’s Britain First Selfie | Metro
Dyson: Leave German Dominated EU, Join EFTA |
How UKIP Won Rochester | Seb Payne
Labour’s Islington Problem | Harry Phibbs
Ed Lost More Than a By-Election | Labour Uncut
Labour the Biggest Losers in Rochester | Speccie
Thornberry a Gift to Farage | Nick Wood
Is Left Finally Turning Against EU? | Dan Hannan
Labour Votes Going Green | Guardian
UKIP Winning Class War | Tim Stanley

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Ralph Miliband on the English…

“The Englishman is a rabid nationalist. They are perhaps the most nationalist people in the world.”

Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,598 other followers