July 21st, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

This week 84,152 visitors visited 277,342 times viewing 481,704 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Aye Lad says:

    Fantastic week Guido and team.

    Keep it up sir :)

  2. 2

    I am not even going to mention *Rihanna* this week. Then I can’t be in trouble again.

  3. 3
    Kebab Time says:

    Hiya Guido.

    Just wanted to say thanks for letting me use that pic other day.

    Am liking the new *media Guido* stuff.

    Also like the new complaint form, good to see blog taking customer service seriously :)

  4. 4

    WTF are you talking about Bіlly?

  5. 5

    WTF are you talking about, Bіlly?

    (Third time lucky…and in the right place – doh!)

  6. 6
    Kebab Time says:

    Is Ozzy about to “Man up” ?

  7. 7
  8. 8
    johnny says:

    Who is Billy?

  9. 9

    new complaint form


  10. 10
    Liz Truss says:

    Fucking hell,I’m going to be promoted to David Cameron’s Cabinet !

  11. 11
    Kebab Time says:

    Its true, cant locate link at mo.

  12. 12
    B16B00B5 says:

    Has Osbo had his salary reduced for being a part-time Chancellor, looking after Tory Party re-election strategy instead of running the country’s finances?

  13. 13
  14. 14
    Lou Scannon says:

    But is it compliant ?
    And where can I complain about it ?

  15. 15
    Lou Scannon says:

    Is there a wormhole linked to this site ? Where do all the comments that just vanish without trace actually go ?

  16. 16
    National Socialist says:

    Eric Pickles and John Prescott eat them.

  17. 17


    I have saved it! :-)

  18. 18

    Seventh dimension in space. No good looking.

  19. 19
    Kebab Time says:

    Glad i could help :)

  20. 20
    inconvenient facts says:

    You know how the BBC like their long range shots when covering sports events. Strange how they had a shot of the offshore wind turbines on day 1 of the golf and not one since. Wouldnt be anything to do with the fact they werent moving an inch, would it?

  21. 21
    Kebab Time says:

    Union bosses have vowed to drag Labour further to the left before the next General Election – The Sun – http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/politics/4441873/Unions-vow-to-go-left.html

    It seems the SaveEd campaign has been a success.

  22. 22
    Lou Scannon says:

    I’ve heard rumours that there’s going to be some sort of athletics shindig soon and that the Beeb is lined up to sponsor it. Can I say that here ?

  23. 23
    Lord Coe-Ca Cola says:

    No,and kindly remove that Pepsi t-Shirt when you speak to me.

  24. 24
    Janet Battyman says:

    Also a bit of a shagger too after getting booted out of Calder Valley for sucking too many cocks – good gal

  25. 25
    Kebab Time says:

    As the niece of an earl, daughter of a Harley Street physician, and a former pupil of a £20,000-a-year school, Harriet Harman concedes she’s ‘on the posh side’.

    But she isn’t, she insists, ‘Sam Cam posh’. Labour’s Deputy Leader made the comments during a magazine interview.

    She conceded that her blood ties and her comfortable upbringing made her privileged – but went out of her way to distance herself from the nobility.



  26. 26
    chocolat says:

    who wears a frock to match a cake FFS

  27. 27
    Gordon Brown(Live from Ed Miliband's house of Commons Office) says:

    I would like to wish Bradley Wiggins the very best of luck in the Tour De France.

  28. 28
    President Assad (hanging from a lamp post) says:

    A very happy Ramadan Guido to all my supporters.

  29. 29

    Harriet Halfman “I’m not as posh as Sam Cam”
    Question is How the fuck did this posh tart end up with Jack Drongo ? LoL


  30. 30
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    With all the troops now in London for the olympics it only takes an order from the Generals to march the troops into Parliament, Downing Street and the TV/Radio stations to start a popular military coup.

    The Military can then, in parallel, try and execute all the traitors in the LibLabCon and deport every last mus-lim from Britain. Also tear up all the treasonous EU treaties outside No. 10. The whole event can be televised.

    They can then set a date for fresh elections to take place with the B&P and UKIP ideally placed to become the new patriotic parties to vote for.

  31. 31
    Well it's a thought says:

    So you can be posh or even posher, how awfully arrogant of Grunhilda, place markers for everbody then .

  32. 32
    The only way is anal says:

    That should read “non re-election strategy”.

  33. 33
    The only way is anal says:

    Like many posh birds, she likes a bit of rough – makes a nice change from all the knob jockey toffs.

  34. 34
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    What a splendid idea,old chap !

  35. 35
    Eddie Wearing says:

    A knock-out idea. You’ll have my full coe-operation.

  36. 36
    Stephen Hawking says:

    Where they turn into tiny pieces of string

  37. 37
    SOME GOOD NEWS says:

    Suicide Bombers to go on strike
    Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a month long strike during the Olympics in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut from 72 to only 50, this to apply from 28th July. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
    The suicide bomber’s union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth.”
    Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don’t like cutting wages but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.”
    Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales, and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as “there are no virgins in their areas anyway.”
    Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle – now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise. Another worry is the sudden influx of male virgins arriving in paradise supplied as an alternative.

  38. 38
    Lamp post says:

    I think you meant ” from my supporter “

  39. 39
    Lou Scannon says:

    Seen elsewhere : http://www.themediabriefing.com/article/2012-07-18/guardian-open-platform-revenue-realities
    ‘the 650 editorial workforce will be reduced by 70 to 100′
    Sounds like Jonah’s on their payroll.

  40. 40
  41. 41
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I wonder if they will try to take the olympic torch through Tower Hamlets. LOL

    We could get the olympics off to a bang with the synchronised suicide bombing live from Tower Hamlets.

  42. 42
    Lou Scannon says:

    That’s your theory.

  43. 43
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Here’s a thing. Why not Lord Lawson as Chancellor of the Exchequer? Even with Alzheimers he’d be better than Osborne.

    He got the country out of Labour’s economic mess before. He can do it again.

  44. 44

    Well, she is clearly a lesbian, what with her husband winning an all wimmins shortlist.

  45. 45
    Oliver Cromwell...it worked for me says:

    “You have sat too long for any good you have been doing. Depart, I say, and let us have done with you. In the name of God, go!”

  46. 46
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    It’s a permanent boom industry. LOL

  47. 47
    We would if we could but we didn't win the election excuse says:

    Uncle Vince vetoed the last Tory attempt to get the union ballot laws changed and will do so again so this is all bollocks….the Tories don’t control policy I would have thought Gideon knew that by now…..

  48. 48
  49. 49

    Which is, in part, correct.

  50. 50
    Bea Boyd (née Sal Septum) says:

    The trouble with Pepsi is the bubbles keep going up my nose.

  51. 51

    Best VW advert ever
    But it was banned in the UK

  52. 52
    One-term Dave says:

    There’s no place for the likes of him in my Chumocracy. He’s a Conservative, so I hate him.

  53. 53
    Diamond Geezer says:

    That selection of lovelies, Harman Sam Cam and (err… forgot) nearly makes me, a confirmed hetero, go gay.

  54. 54
    David Levinson says:

    Which part ?

  55. 55
    Aunty Matter says:

    Na Clarkson’s spoof Top Gear advert for the VW Scirocco was better.

  56. 56
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Electricity generation
    CCGT (gas)
    PS (hydro)

    So our masters of power have forced up electric bills through subsidies by 50% in order to gain 1% extra electricity for the nation?

    Why isn’t there a Leveson-type enquiry into this scandal?

  57. 57
    Busy dealing with the important issues, Giddy Osborne says:


    Oh, wow man! I can hear colours and see through time!

  58. 58

    Why isn’t is it raining?

  59. 59
    Diamond Geezer says:

    You go first Ollie boy.

  60. 60
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    I watched a film last night called “The 25th Reich”, about WWII American troops in Australia, tracking-down time-travelling Nazis from the 23rd Century who were planning to use captured alien UFOs to travel to the 25th Dimension and kill God.

    This might come as a bit of a surprise, but the film wasn’t very good.


  61. 61
    Diamond Geezer says:

    Are Jonah and Gideon related?

  62. 62
    Diamond Geezer says:

    Bugger. That was a horrible thing to do. He could well be stuffed now.

  63. 63
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    Baroness Ashton and Margaret Beckett can have that affect on a man, too.

  64. 64
    Dave is a wet! says:

    A bucket of cold shit would be better in the Treasury than George Osborne. The man is a totally lightweight who only became Chancellor because he is a Bullingdon Chum of Dave.

  65. 65
    Dave is a wet! says:

    Osborne shouldn’t even be a part-time Chancellor. It’s time for Cameron to fire the light-weight idiot.

  66. 66
    Mr. Nobby Pickens, Acacia Ave. UB9 says:

    No mention of my ten metre-square bank of solar panels I see.

  67. 67
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    It required only minor surgery, with Harriet’s Swiss Army penknife.

    (the tool for getting Champagne corks out of debutantes’ eyes, in case you were wondering.)

  68. 68
    Expat Geordie says:

    Wasn’t Dromey an “official observer” at the trial and execution of 3 British and 1 American mercenaries in Angola in 1976? Nice to see communists sticking together.

  69. 69
    Bea Boyd (née Sal Septum) says:

    Summer service – that’s our line.
    Coe-operate by paying your propaganda telly tax – or else.

  70. 70
    Expat Geordie says:


    Who would want 72 virgins anyway. Personally I’d rather just have half a dozen young slappers.

  71. 71
    Meet the Feebles says:

    You must think it very odd of me
    But I enjoy the act of sodomy
    You might call the wrath of God on me
    But if you tried it then you might agree
    That you enjoy the act of sodomy

    Don’t worry if you feel ashamed
    It’s been around for years
    Thousands more than can be named
    Are interested in rears
    Don’t worry about hell
    No harm will come to your soul
    We’re not all Pentecostal
    But everybody’s got an asshole

    Let me tell ya ’bout sodomy
    You must think it very odd of me
    But I enjoy the act of sodomy
    You might call the wrath of God on me
    But if you tried it then you might agree
    That you enjoy the act of sodomy

    It might just improve your sex
    It’s a hard act to follow
    The fact that fundamentalists
    Find difficult to swallow
    So join me as I sing
    Of an activity that’s fun
    Open up your ring
    And try it front to bum

  72. 72
    no refund, fuck off says:

    How can I complain about this thread? It’s crap.

  73. 73
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Because it is isn’t and because it isn’t global warming.

  74. 74
    The Clap says:

    *huge ripple*

  75. 75
    AC1 says:

    Can we meet for bum sex?

  76. 76
    The Met Office says:

    The clouds have finally run out of water.

    We told you there’d be a drought.

  77. 77
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I thought you had been deleted, defragmented and over-written, dear.

  78. 78
    11 says:

    The part CRMM can actually understand, ie how long IS a piece of string?

  79. 79

    Anything for a free holiday !

  80. 80
  81. 81

    Feckin suicide bummers !

  82. 82
    Postie Pat says:

  83. 83

    Oh! How do they get Boy Scouts out of horses’ hooves now, in that case?

  84. 84
    annette curton says:

    Eh?, looks like Alan Johnson being totality ignored by Hessle residents to me, poor old sods have been kicked out and now have to live on a bench.

  85. 85
  86. 86

    Thank you caller! Could you just hold for a minute…

  87. 87
    Noah says:

    It’s Day 41.

  88. 88
    Rebekah says:

    More to the point, how do I get that twat Cameron out of my hair ?
    LOL (Lame Old Loser)

  89. 89

    He just had to be a Shiite.

  90. 90
    The 1,000 year rule says:

    For the same reason that the Chilcot report expected this September has been kicked into the long grass never to re-appear this side of the millenium

  91. 91
    Fruitbat says:

    Well, if they can go far enough left, and I mean waaaay out there, they may find Wavey Davey and his ‘Conservatives’.

  92. 92
    Ted asked who governs Britain and the electors said not you mate !! says:

    For Gods Sake we do not HAVE a Conservative Government who will pursue Conservative policies on the economy…”Dave”is a LIBERAL-conservative in the mould of Ted Heath and about as fucking useless

  93. 93
    bogof says:

    I bet you say that to all the ladyboys, you duurrrty old man.

  94. 94
  95. 95
    The Real CRMM says:

    ….How do they get Boy Scouts out of horses’ hooves now, in that case, and onto my cock?

  96. 96
    Billy Cotton says:

    Reely long.

  97. 97
    Billy Cotton says:

    Reely long.

  98. 98
    Ed at the cricket? says:

  99. 99
    Hard disc says:

    You are up incredibly early today.

    Did your floppy fall out?

  100. 100
    Noah's wife says:

    Miles of open water and you manage to run us aground on the one and only reef.

  101. 101
    bogof says:

    Hahahahaha…the soundtrack to your life you sad old poof.

  102. 102
    The wrong Miliband says:

    When’s kick-off time ?

  103. 103
    AC1 Kenobi says:

    I’ve spent all morning bashing Darth Vader’s helmet with my light sabre.

    May the farce be with you.

  104. 104
    lets all laugh at Clegg says:

  105. 105
    Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

    Let me have my old job back as Chancellor. I was, and still am, a genius.

  106. 106
    Lord Tebbet says:

    Hey, Gordon, why don’t you get on YOUR bike, FFS!

  107. 107
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Think of all the great things the LibDemons have achieved…..er,er,er….

  108. 108
    Crime must not pay. says:

  109. 109
    St Vince the Cable says:

    Steady on,I predicted the 2008 bank banking crisis two weeks after it happened.

  110. 110
    'dAVE' cOmORON, pRICK, sOSHERLIARIST & gIT says:

    tRUST mE! i’M A pr (uP THE aRSE) sTAR!!! aND i lURVE pHONEY b£IAR!!! aND i’M GONNA BE A bIG kNOB IN THE €ussr ONE DAY!!!

  111. 111
    Roscoe Rules says:

    According to his schedule Ed should be visiting a hospital today.

  112. 112
    Gordon Brown says:

    Ha! That’s nothing! – I caused it!

  113. 113
    Seb 'Laud' Coe says:

    I get all my kit from Marx & Sponsors.

  114. 114

    …says the One Who Projects.

  115. 115

    Hello caller! Who are you holding on for…?

  116. 116
    Noah (wiv typical left wing reply) says:

    Not my fault!! They lerned me ‘ow to sail at Kolidge frum a buk! I gotta GCSE in saylin knowotoymeen?

  117. 117
    William Sturgeon says:

    … while you were in Cape Cod on one of your outings.


    and when are you going to return my compass ?

  118. 118
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:


    Poopy nose millibandwagon is on TMS view from the boundry.

  119. 119
    Well it's a thought says:

    Has he bought his suit with taxpayers money from the HOC or taxpayers money from the BBC.

  120. 120
    bogof says:

    Not for your raddled old arse, that’s for sure.

  121. 121
    annette curton says:

    That’s what happens when fiction becomes reality, the nefarious Penguin again.

  122. 122
    Ed Miliband says:

  123. 123
    annette curton says:

    A Bounder.

  124. 124
    Nurse says:

    Genus, Gordon, genus.

  125. 125
    Dave you're-all-in-the-shit-together Cameron says:

    I’m going to diversify into conducting.

  126. 126
    annette curton says:

    We were doing OK until the son of curse descended again.

  127. 127
    Aunty Matter says:

    “Ed meets his boyfriend” more like

  128. 128
    annette curton says:

    Why didn’t the BBC give him a red lollipop?.

  129. 129
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    I was going to say he looks almost human in that photo – but then I noticed the small yellow moon orbiting his head.

  130. 130

    Interesting how you appear completely unable to identify with any situation without some reference to the anus.

    You clearly did not resolve your toilet training between the normal ages of 18 months to three years and so a fixation occurred, resulting in your unhealthy personality.

    Everyone else here can see it – except you.

    Please go ahead and have the last word.

  131. 131
    annette curton says:

    It’s a Higgs Boson.

  132. 132
  133. 133
    Ed Sillyband says:

    What’s the name of the guy playing first base?

  134. 134
    Brian Cox says:

    Yeah… it’s an amazing part of our universe.

  135. 135
    gORDON bROWN & cAMERtWAT says:

    cAN WE tAX IT?

  136. 136
    Blowing Whistles says:

    It’s a prop – to hide any egg that he might get on his face.

  137. 137
    annette curton says:

    Jack Bruce.

  138. 138
    WACISTS!!!!!!!! says:

  139. 139
    AC1 says:

    Hello Tat,

    Is the pain of bereavement getting any less over time?

    Get well soon,

  140. 140
    Gordon Brown says:

    It’s bent. (Like me.)
    And the saddle squeezes the poo out of my nappy.

  141. 141
    AC1 says:

    Understanding string theory takes branes.

  142. 142
    annette curton says:

    Sounds like a marginally dumbed down BBC Panorama Special.

  143. 143
    twat watch says:


  144. 144
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    The best what?

  145. 145
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I saw that movie too — adapted from Martin Chuzzlewit by Todd Bloat, the well known Hollywood screenwriter and crack addict.

  146. 146
    Rat's arse says:

    Hi B8lly mate. Hope all is well. :)

  147. 147
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Did you know that Grunwick Laboratories refused to process his holiday snaps? Hence the kerfuffle there later.

  148. 148
    Lord Coe - Backstairs Billy's "training partner" says:

    I am still an utter c*unt.

  149. 149
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    He is — our team are a bunch of cripples.

  150. 150
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    The cretinization and brainwashing of Eurozone 4b [Britain] is now complete, my masters!

  151. 151
    AC1 says:

    Hope you resolved your differences with your mother before she passed.

    Get well soon.

  152. 152
    Education, Edyerkayshun, Eddyookaashun says:

    Societal disintegration during The Reign of Terror 1997 -2010.

    Mission Accomplished

  153. 153



    Maybe TaT does understand after all.

    I always thought of him as having a p-brane…

  154. 154
    Rat's arse says:

    S.G.N … you made me laugh until I had tears in my eyes! Tar!

  155. 155
    I know I sound snobbish, but.. says:

    (Squeeky breathless voice) “The show will have 3D GRAPHICS!! That’s it for now, more telly-goss soon!”

    Just out of idle curiosity, is youth unemployment rising by any chance? Are employers perhaps avoiding the under-25s, for some picky reason?

  156. 156
    Anonymous says:

    Poofter Nigel fucked the economy just as much as Gidders.

    You tory tossers ought to be rejoicing.

    Is it cos Nige was so keen on licking Thatcher’s arse?

    Until she sacked him.

    ha ha ha ha

  157. 157
    Kebab Time says:

    All good mate :)

    hope you well?

  158. 158
    A reader says:

    Oi, I am chief arselicker on here

  159. 159
    let's hope so says:

    Wanker Gove to be replaced by even bigger wanker.

    Way to go, Dave.

  160. 160

    Never Tell Your Mother She’s Out Of Tune.

  161. 161

    This is passage is taken from G K Chesterton’s The Secret People and Hannan has reorganised its order slightly to suit his theme. Three dots indicate where there is a jump to another place, which occurs both backwards and forwards:

    They have given us into the hand of new unhappy lords,
    Lords without anger and honour, who dare not carry their swords.
    They fight by shuffling papers; they have bright dead alien eyes;
    They look at our labour and laughter as a tired man looks at flies.

    We hear men speaking for us of new laws strong and sweet,
    Yet is there no man speaketh as we speak in the street.

    Smile at us, pay us, pass us; but do not quite forget.
    For we are the people of England, … and we have not spoken yet.

  162. 162
    annette curton says:

    Don’t recollect that one, did it get in the charts?.

  163. 163
    David Camoron (one-term PM) says:

    Like all Conservatives, Hannan’s nothing but a looney, fruitcake and closet rácist.

    But I concede, there are a number of issues with our EU membership, and that is why I am sending a team of negotiators to Brussels, to negotiate the repatriation of some of the many powers we have lost. To help them out, I have improved the team’s chances by telling the EU, in advance, that if they don’t allow us to repatriate some (or indeed any) of the powers we’ve lost, I will do nothing about it whatsoever.

    Am I not the greatest negotiator in British history?

  164. 164

    Well. She is a Norfolk Broad.

  165. 165

    Who cares?

    It fucking rocks!

  166. 166
    Pox News 24/7 says:

    My God, if only one of those stories was “Lordy Coe exiled to Bongo Bongo land, or anywhere in fact!

    Wenlock and Mandeville, did someone actually receive money from the Olympic slush fund to come with a pair of cycloptic molars on the move.

  167. 167
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Yes he really ruined the economy, you ignorant tosser.

    “After the government’s re-election in 1983, Lawson was appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer in succession to Sir Geoffrey Howe. The early years of Lawson’s chancellorship were associated with tax reform. The 1984 budget reformed corporate taxes by a combination of reduced rates and reduced allowances. The 1985 budget continued the trend of shifting from direct to indirect taxes by reducing National Insurance contributions for the lower-paid while extending the base of value added tax.

    During these two years Lawson’s public image remained low-key, but from the 1986 budget (in which he resumed the reduction of the standard rate of personal Income Tax from the 30% rate to which it had been lowered in Sir Geoffrey Howe’s 1979 budget), his stock rose as unemployment began to fall from the middle of 1986 (employment growth having resumed over three years earlier). Lawson also reduced the budget deficit from £10.5 billion (3.7% of GDP) in 1983 to a budget surplus of £3.9 billion in 1988 and £4.1 billion in 1989 the year of his resignation.”

  168. 168
    Rat's arse says:

    Yep. Be happy! :)

  169. 169
    A lying cheating useless two-faced hypocritical pretentious pontificating fuckwit (no, not Gordo) says:

    Your constant whining is tiresome!

    Look, I rule the TransManche zone – this bit of the Espace Manche Development Initiative. And when I talk about the Anglo-Saxon Pond, you better know that this is the Future and you better jolly well get yused to it!

    My Progressive colleague Nick and I are working our arses off trying to get you thick shits to understand THERE IS NO GOING BACK!!

  170. 170
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Like all socialists Ed Milibandwagon is an overt racist. Wasnt he just he just echoing Mcmental by saying immigration should be curbed in order to protect British jobs for British workers? No doubt his paymasters had a hand in that as the greedy, treasonous unions are overt racists as well.

  171. 171
    It's ... says:

    becuse they is so edyerkaytud they might put existing qualified workers to shame and hence cause fricshun in the werk palce!

  172. 172
    annette curton says:

    I think she is a bit out of tune.

  173. 173
    annette curton says:

    Cycloptic molars on the move, elucidate!

  174. 174
    For we are the people of England, and we haven't spoken yet. says:

    Just received a leaflet through the door from ” The People’s Pledge ” .org

    Sign up.

  175. 175
    For we are the people of England, and we haven't spoken yet. says:


  176. 176

    Mine is … but it is politic not to say. ;-)

    Now, that has forced me to quote Dr Martin Luther King:

    On some positions cowardice asks the question is it safe?
    Expediency asks the question is it is politic?
    Vanity asks the question is it is popular?
    But conscience asks the question is it right?

    But he never met my mother.

  177. 177
    Look away now says:

    Hоlеy cіnеmа аudіеncе, Bаtmаn!

  178. 178
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    (skrittle) (ping) sQUEEEEETT!

  179. 179
  180. 180
    Alice and Bob says:


  181. 181
    Ted and Carol says:


  182. 182
    The BBC says:

    What it is …. right …. is . .. aboslutely fantastic! …. it’s so cool . .. ! …. it is right up there! . . . riiiigghhttt! …. aboslutely fantastic!!!!

  183. 183
    My Other Van's A Comma says:

    For annette, Jack Bruce on base:

  184. 184
    Lord C0e says:

    I am an utter c’unt.

  185. 185
    Billy and the kid says:


  186. 186
    My Other Van's A Comma says:

    A leggy one, at that.

  187. 187
    A vile two-faced bully, liar, ignorant & sanctimonious git, benefactor of bent & bonkers bankers says:

    I am the Edyerkayshun Supremo of the Whole WORLD!

    Mr MUGABY will be UN Supremo for World Tourism!

    What a pair we make!

  188. 188
    Standing Ready! says:


  189. 189
    Forkbender says:

    Have got everything packed Guido for your annual jollies in France, if you are going, you’ve less than a week before chaos ensues with the big Olympic bore, blockages assured.

  190. 190
    Forkbender says:

    Pity the poor grads out of university with 2-1 in mejia studies

  191. 191
    twat watch says:

    Twat !

  192. 192
    For everyone in the world, EVER !!!..... says:

    …..bar Ewa , 8illy, TAT, MOWB, LCBT, Col. Kernel (retd), Parabellum, Obo, simon (lower case) coulter, Iggy Jerk (Baton Rouge, USA), some other quality, trolling c’unts I’ve forgotten….

  193. 193
    E J Smith, Capt (retired) says:

    If the uniform fits :

  194. 194
    simon coulter says:

    How very dare you? *sniffles*

  195. 195
    The Bass is to life what food is to our bonces ... says:

    Nice fuzz.

  196. 196
    Genevieve says:


    I can tell by your moniker that you sat the original, and hardest, eleven plus “exam”.

  197. 197
    The Bass is to life what food is to our bonces ... says:

    I’ll punch you on the nose if you’re taking the piss, Genevieve.

  198. 198
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    According to John Prescott a story about to break over Govt smear campaign,forged letters etc etc.

    Get on the case Guido !

  199. 199
    Igonnakum Jerk says:

    I read this, this this weblog posting from For
    everyone in the world,
    EVER !!!….. and it brought to mind
    a funny thought

    moderator presses mute button

  200. 200
    annette curton says:

    Lol, your research does you credit but if I may inject a note of criticism it still doesn’t address the dentine morph.

  201. 201

    No. Not bass. Cello.

    Jack said so.

    He also told me that he always tells the truth.

    So it must be so…

  202. 202
    Brianannony Gordon says:

    On a practical note:
    Will the combined mass of my wobblers affect the flight of our boys’ javelins next week?
    Should I wear a lead brassiere for the duration?

  203. 203

    I’m a bit long in the tooth to believe everything I hear…


  204. 204
    E says:

    I’m soo fuckin bored .

    Where is my intellectual peers when I needs them , FFS ??

    E x .

  205. 205
    Labour's ejoojkayshun - another victim says:

    I was searching for a list of “Mic*key Mo*use” degrees, and found a discussion site where 6th-form and university students can discuss student life.. check this (quoted as-is):

    “The Big List of ‘Mic*key Mo*use’ Degree’s!

    Ive read plenty of these which end up being a massive discussion.
    Please, I would like everyone to list what they think is a worthless degree and that.
    Ei- Golf Managment, Media and such are often looked down upon by the economists and medicine students!”

    He/she adds:

    “PS- Sorry about the apostphy, I realise I am a simpleton!”

    That was from 2010. I wonder which Jobcentre he/she’s going to be attending in a year or two.


  206. 206
    8i11y 8owd3n's mum says:

    He’s up the dilly dear.

  207. 207
    Mr Helpful says:

    “Where is my intellectual peers”

    I’m sure tat’ll be along later.

  208. 208
    blank says:


  209. 209
    tHE bbc dEPT oF pLITICAL kRECTNESS says:


  210. 210
  211. 211
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Dream on, dear. I’ll knit you a little something while you wait for them to gestate.

  212. 212
    Hey! Arseholes! I've got a great topic for a PhD Thesis for all lefty twats!!! says:

    The Loif and Toymes of The Great Helmsman – Grounidad BrownStainovich!

  213. 213
    A. Lecher says:

    So are Polly’s tits – and as for her *****! – words can’t describe it!!

  214. 214
    Mrs Tile's Budgee says:


  215. 215
    Gordon Brown says:

    I eat one boiled egg per day for six days then on the seventh I eat a packet of fig rolls

  216. 216
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    It’s simply lovely to be able to redecorate every week, isn’t it dear?

  217. 217
    Mr Slater's Parrot says:

    SS-SKREEEE-EEET!!! (crest) COGITOERGOSUM!! (ping)

  218. 218
    Princess Kate (® Middleton Family) says:

    I get my servants to eat for me.

  219. 219
    Tachybaptus says:

    And this is the problem:

  220. 220
    i do apologise. Its not bit and not clever says:

    nanananananananananana gunmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan

  221. 221
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    After my Reg (God bless him) died we had different patterns on the carpet every week for eight months, dear.

  222. 222
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Hey Lardy presscotsupercasinolobbyiedRsole and fed too many pizzas – Would that be anything to do with the Pam Warren smearing by Labour Spads re the Paddington train crash?

  223. 223
    Anon says:

    Hands up if you want to volunteer to be one of Kate’s servants.

  224. 224
    Innit says:

    Chaos has already started. Getting round East London was not easy this afternoon.

  225. 225
    Ew*n*e Bo*ha says:

    comment removed

  226. 226
    Backstairs 8i11y Vague says:

    My mate Lord Coe is an excellent judo training partner. It’s a shame Lord Archer (pbuh) isn’t still serving Shepherd’s Pie and Krug.

  227. 227
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Ah Binary – but aren’t all of our political grandstanding pygmies just a collective combination of ‘Zeros’ and self-seeking ‘ones’?

  228. 228
    George "Louise" Osborne says:

    You should see the carpet at the place I used to visit for “extracurricular activities”!

  229. 229
    Joss Sayin says:

    Or AC1, he seems to be inextricably linked to tat. He certainly seems to know ‘him’. One and the same in my book.

  230. 230
    Guido says:

    Remind me, 8illy; what’s our problem with Lord Coe?

    I must have been asleep or awake. What’s he done to rile us?

  231. 231
    Lord C0e says:

    Were you drinking Pepsi and eating something from Burger King by any chance?

    * * * Celebrate © 2012 © * * *

  232. 232

    Looks like Handycock’s todger.

  233. 233
    Justin Bouffant, hair stylist to the dregs says:

    His barnet is somewhat suspect. I think he de-hirsutes at Gavin’s, though.

  234. 234
    screw the lot of them says:

    Gone against what most good Englishmen and women hold dear for starters.

  235. 235
    CameraOn - A complete and utter HUNT! says:

    I am a complete and utter HOON, HUNT, and TOSSER – just like Phoney B£iar tort me!

  236. 236
    Nurse says:

    Not if it includes mopping up what she failed to not eat.

  237. 237
    A. Lecher says:

    I would die for just one lick of her ……….. fig rolls!

  238. 238
    A. Bowyer says:

    And we’re ready with our faithful ENGLISH (NOT UK or BRITISH Yew Bows) – well thyere may be a few imports – BUT WE@re ready!!!

  239. 239
    yOU DON'T MEAN? says:


  240. 240
    Igonikon Jack says:

    Are you more outstanding than Bryony Gordon?

    “First of all, before I proceed with this commentary under Bryony Gordon’s above article, I want to thank her for reproducing my Sept. 6 commentary under her article: ‘Even Mexicans drink more than we Brits,’ in her web-blog site. It has really metastasized in the web–far beyond my expectation. I found out every time I went to the google search engine to research my commentaries for updates and other details.

    “I have read some–those closest to the information I’m looking for. It’s still all about time, which is a scarce resource for me. Because of many undertakings. Also, I have to thank the Daily Telegraph for allowing the commentary, which has enabled readers to fairly understand, the “Mystery of Me”, which she wrote about, is explained through a lot of the commentaries I have posted in the Telegraph: Hard work, Patience, Dedication, Cosmic Intellectualism; and more–all of which are the driving forces behind most writers’ efforts and people’s success. And, before I conclude this segment, I, also, want to remind readers, that the Sept. 6 commentary is about all writers and correspondents who labor as I do, and came under undeserved, personal attacks. And, I’m pleased to observe that the commentaries have become a whole lot better in terms of criticizing ideas, as opposed to ad hominem attacks. Now, coming to Ms. Gordon’s article on school reunion (popular as high-school renuion here in the US), it’s something I discovered when I came to America. It’s a big event. I have seen it in many movies. I have heard people prepare for it or talk about it. I didn’t really know the ultimate significance, until I found out how it affected a fellow employee who has left for another job a while ago. His school established a web site for the 25th anniversary reeunion so that students who graduated then could communicate with one another and prepare for the celebration which took place in a city about 600 miles away. The students’ high-school names were published, along with their available e-mail addresses. And, he spent a lot of time researching and voluntarily giving me updates. But, his greatest surprise was that one of the classmates lived just nearby in the same city of ours. And he didn’t know until he went to the school reunion. He showed me the pictures taken at the reunion, his friend’s letter of appreciation and a duplicate key to his friend’s apartment to prove and dramatize the significance of the event. Indeed, it’s significant. For me, personally, there may not be a school reunion. Because it’s a tradition I met here. But, we had a memorable prom where students, teachers and school administrators dressed impressively. The school student president (a classmate) delivered the valedictory speech. Then, his deputy, from the incoming final class delivered the farewell address, which, ironically was his inaugural address. Lessons learned were utmostly outlined in these speeches, along with pieces of advice. What legacy my class
    established which I want to share here is this: In the 3-month summer vacation preceding my graduation year, we wanted to advance the study of the syllabus for our high-school diploma exam–on our own. As students, we had no jobs. But, we were able to convince parents and guardians to help us with the funds to hire a teacher–a former schoolmate and a genius who had the best scholastic record–to come and teach us for almost the whole period. He was only two classes ahead of us. There was no Math, Physics, Advanced Math or Chemistry problem he couldn’t solve. He spoke excellent English. In his Biology class, words like hermoproditism (animal bisexuality), hyperglycemia (high blood sugar), etc., shook the classroom. All, without notes. His textbook on the teacher’s table was just for minor reference. In the end, the event, which I helped to organize, was a huge success.”
    Igonikon Jack, USA
    Posted by Igonikon Jack on September 20, 2257 9:25 AM

  241. 241
    Call me Dave says:

    Yes, assume your place. Fuck off small person.

  242. 242
    A. Panty Sniffter says:

    IF you know what’s good for you – Hat’s a good place to start – then put that down as exactly what you DON’T need!

  243. 243
    Lord C0e says:

    I learned from B£iar and thence imparted much of my inner soul to you and your friends.

  244. 244
    Anonymous says:


  245. 245
    Lord Archole says:

    Where are my fucking tickets you bastards?

  246. 246
    Hamlet, Prince of Denmark says:

    Do you


    wanna be


  247. 247
    CameraOn - A complete and utter HUNT! says:

    You Divine Boy! Now, just to prove your creds, – come down on me – then, when I’m relieved, we can tork some more – you lovely bushy babe! Eton does ssssssso refine the taste!

  248. 248
    annette curton says:

    Feel happy in the knowledge that your Reg (God bless him) has gone to a better place.

  249. 249
    Suggestion Bocs says:

    Go and talk to your ‘fragrant’ lady

  250. 250
    El Oh El Ee Lola says:

    Ooooh! You know how to upset a female impersonator.

  251. 251
    Justin Bouffant, hair stylist to the dregs says:

    I normally have prawn crackers for starters and my bitch has the same.

  252. 252
    hmmmm says:

    Sally has a problem with size again

    Sally Bercow ‏@SallyBercow
    Olympic torch essentially a bloody giant candle FGS! Why all this torch worship? Ridiculous.

  253. 253
    Anonymous says:

    U still outta prison , babes ??

  254. 254
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Thank you for your kind thoughts, Ms. curton, dear. Yes. Nothing a good shoveling couldn’t deal with.

  255. 255
    Ray says:

    I’m not the world’s most passionate guy…

  256. 256
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:

    I is famous/infamous , ain’t I ??

    E x .

  257. 257
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:

    Q the vid:

  258. 258

    She has more old flames than the blitz?

  259. 259
    garden shed pogoer says:

    Shall we?

  260. 260
    Ray says:

    There is more than one.

  261. 261
    Hamlet, Prince of Denmark says:

    To be loved is better than to be famous.

  262. 262
    Yeah . I likes the best .. says:

    You choose an we dances round our rooms in our imaginary clothes .

  263. 263
    Yeah . I likes the best .. says:

    I knows I’s loved an it feels nice ;)

  264. 264

    I bet he can still run like fuck if the whole thing goes tits up.

  265. 265
    fuck 'em says:

    M*dB*t blocking vids tonite?

  266. 266
    Ray says:

    If I takes my imaginary clothes off , am I still nude ?

  267. 267
    ModBot says:

    Try SL, madam. They quite like you there, I hear.

  268. 268
  269. 269
    Hamlet, Prince of Denmark says:

    An u knows who it is ??

  270. 270
    AC1 says:

    Er No.

    I was around here when he first appeared though. Been winding him up for years.

  271. 271
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:

    Dunno. It were a throwaway comment like all my comments has ever bin.

    I never wanted to be the new Augustine of Hippo.

  272. 272
    ModBot says:


  273. 273
    Yeah . I likes the best .. says:

    Of course !! I narrowed it down to you !!

  274. 274
    Ray says:

    What is wrong with Grant me chastity and continence, only not yet?

  275. 275
    Yeah . I likes the best .. says:

    Nothin . Don’t fuck wiv my brain , hun . U already knows me . I ain’t any deeper than that , thank goodnees .

  276. 276
    Hamlet, Prince of Denmark says:

    Then u knows I loves you , ♥ xx .


  277. 277
    ModBot says:

    I love you just the way you are, madam.

  278. 278
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:

    U would , darlin !!

    I pull ur plug otherwise .

    Who’s ur mummy , FFS ??

  279. 279
    Ray says:

    U r better than u lets on .

    (Anyway , it wasn’t the brain I woz thinkin of … but don’t wann b 2 smutty ;-))

  280. 280
    Wax my alley, Sally says:

    i think you know more about candles than you are letting on Sally Alley.

  281. 281
    james delingpole says:

    *swoons and takes gas*

  282. 282
    South of the M4 says:

    May I ask what exactly you thought it was? It is a naked flame in a handle. Did you not think that it being a giant candle was sort of logical? So you are really saying nothing but you are taking the oxygen of publicity. You are nothing more than a shallow, hollow character. Stupid, silly little girl.

  283. 283
    Hamlet, Prince of Denmark says:


    (Don’t leave it too late. I get written out of the script at some point.)

  284. 284
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:

    I knows wot u referencin but I ain’t even read it .

    I couldn’t give a shit .

    My brain is focused on the here an now .

    Dickens ain’t gonna save the planet , is he darlin ??

  285. 285
    Saffron says:

    Sally Ally needs to stick her comments up her asshole,who of us are bothered about this feckin fortune seeking asshole.
    Ossie boy is a laugh,why this plonker is even talking about economics is a joke and his comments now about the liebore unions is pathetic,when exactly will a government today grow a pair and get to grips with this lot.
    Will this happen,no it will not because we now have an asshole of a government who have not got a clue.

  286. 286
    Hamlet, Prince of Denmark says:


    Sounds like one of those bust banks , doesn’t it , ffs ?

    (How does she know I call it Little Dorrit ? )

    I don’t wanna bust your cranium , darlin xx .

  287. 287
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:







    E x .

  288. 288
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Calm down, dear. I’ll knit you something for your loose change.

  289. 289
    Ray, occasional Shakespearean roles says:

    No need to shout , you will wake the others up .

    I would estimate that only 1% of people will know who Augustine of Hippo is , never mind actually read his stuff .

    You brought him up , not me .

    I am not famous an I don’t give a fig about it .

    But if that’s what u wants , that’s cool .

  290. 290
  291. 291
    A Fanny says:

    You’re a healthy realist, “It woz justa experiment gone wrong …”

    The optimists would call you a cynic and the pessimists might label you “a bit trippy” but you are on the right track.

    Please look after yourself and keep us focused on the big issue.

  292. 292
    It woz justa experiment gone wrong ... says:

    @ Ray, occasional Shakespearean roles

    Sorry for “shouting”. CAPS LOCK etc. ♥

  293. 293
    Aunt Nelda says:

    I think they should have babies together – they seem like an ideally matched couple.

  294. 294
    ModBot says:

    We do have a video of Sally poking comments up her own arse but, due to technical hitches, we are having trouble embedding them.
    Bear with us. *parps*

  295. 295
    Aunt Maude says:

    I think I am going to cry. Where’s my hanky?

  296. 296
    Ray, occasional Shakespearean roles says:

    No probs , darlin x .

    Thought it might be the white stuff .

    Nearly went off an had one myself .


  297. 297
    BBC Newsroom lefties says:

    Phew! As you all know we at the BBC have been covering the Olympic Torch to ensure you are all totally brainwashed into supporting the Great Labour party gift to you all.

    But we’ve been very concerned that the crowds have been far too white and viley English. Well thank god now we’re into London and we’ll ensure we get plenty of multi cultural diversity gay and lesbian, transgender and Muslim images to brainwash you even more.

    Think we may have to have a power cut when Danny Boyle does all that white English rubbish next Friday, but don’t worry we’ll power up for the Muslim Jihad dancers and the mock executions of women in the middle of the stadium. We will also cover in HD the Muslim warriors beheading westerners then seeing how far they can throw the heads across the stadium.

    So toodle pip and keep buying the Guardian.

  298. 298
    garden shed gynaecologist says:

    It just might be conceivably possible.

    *doesn’t bother to spellcheck nothing*

  299. 299
    Aunty Matter says:

    If the old slag could get one in pink she’d fit the whole thing inside her.

  300. 300
    garden shed undergrad says:

    What is the gestation period for an imaginary baby?

    My friend wants to know.

  301. 301
    Team SKY says:

    Tour de France! Nicolas Sarkhozy! Francois Hollande! General de Gaulle! Napoleon Bonaparte! Can you hear me Franky Hollande? Your boys just took one hell of a beating!

  302. 302
    Matthew Amawillywally says:

    I’m a lesbian but I don’t condone public beheadings, do I?

    Now, over to Dan for the latest weather: How gay are the clouds going to be tomorrow, Dan?

    Will we need umbrellas?

  303. 303
    Professor Doo-Dah BSc. says:

    Approximately three sentences, sir.

  304. 304
    SC says:

    Lives on the Line.

    Life expectancy by tube station.

    82 for HA2-HA4. 86 for North Ealing where I grew up.


  305. 305
    6-inch candle says:

    She gets on my wick.

  306. 306
    Gordon Brown VJ says:

    If you could post one video that was relevant to The 2012 London Olympics, what would it be?

    *waves to the ModBot*

  307. 307
    blank says:

    I HA5 *pheeww*

  308. 308
    Mr Raymond Seymour says:


    We’ve had 60 of them so far and the benefits have been limited to the national wage.

    Don’t you ever wish you were better informed?

  309. 309
    Fuck Nose says:

    No videos tonite. Site’s fucked.

  310. 310
    Fuck Nose says:

    So’s my aim.

  311. 311
    Honky Cat says:

    Fat Reg country!

  312. 312
    @ 306 says:

    For E. Botha, a true Olympian:

  313. 313
    annette curton says:

    Check to make sure there isn’t an outline showing through the underlay.

  314. 314
    Daniel has died of AIDS on a plane tonight la-la .... says:

    It lovely!

  315. 315
    Zeus says:

    He tells lies to children

  316. 316
    Dick Emery Paper says:

    Ooooo ….

    Any trees left?

    ….but I like you.

  317. 317
    Thumb Screw says:

    *thumbs something close*

  318. 318
  319. 319
  320. 320
    Belton John says:

    I drowned inside a blue-oo-oo,
    Oo-oo-oo canoe…

  321. 321
    Not allowed to say my name says:

    OMG !!

    Good job I happened to log in at this particular mo to enjoy the accolades !!!

    Thx to whovers posted this x x

    E x .

  322. 322
    not a machine says:

    Another £350mn to EU Ta very much , yes EU votes itself a 2.8% budget increase , and because of voting system we cant say no ………
    Still could have been worse they wanted 6.8% and we should all celebrate our economy is £400mn better off then …… I dont know why they dont make it some kind of Olympic event , most money extorted under a democratic banner without needing any form of vote …….

    Nick has a stiff drink and goes to the People , think I want my old flame back in 2015 , or just pining for the fjords , weepy classics “I wanna wake up with you” , eh hold on a minute grommit people will get the wrong Idea , there cant be two people on any bandwagon and Eds wanting first dib of any potential , bessides you will have to kiss glassmans boot . Yet somewhere along the course to the new yoof movement , the question must be put , Eds and EU sell out merchant and so is Nick , so what meds will be on offer on such a tie up , the upward inflective question, space cars , more votes that dont matter as legisaltion will come form EU , risky venture from where I sit , but sell outs usually are . I dont know what it is that the lib dems find so objectionable about low taxes , some wealth ownership , free markets and a happy country , that make Labour so attractive , perhaps Ed Balls will have to make way for vince , decontaminate an all that .
    Eds getting out an about , in his new show celebrate my disatrous partys time in government , part shoulder shrug part new revolution next generation forget the past or any explanation of it , scream if you wanna go faster ,, yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh , trend , gather , coagulate , coalesce anything but the truth , thats how we did it las time after all ………

  323. 323
    Shy says:

    A rose by any other name…

    Na night x .

  324. 324
    Not allowed to say my name says:

  325. 325
    Not allowed to say my name says:

    Na night , darlin x

  326. 326
    Alf Garnett says:

    I noticed an Indian was carrying the flag for the GB team.

    Plus ca change!

  327. 327
  328. 328

    kEEP IT UP!!


  329. 329
    McDonalds says:

    For E. Botha the 2012 Olympics in the 51st State London:

  330. 330
    Fuck CamweTwat! - a worthy and entorely laudable endeavour! says:

    Camertwat – a traitor and turncoat – a snake in the grass and utterly contemptible reptile – should be crushed by the sheer weight of proper Tory Venom!


  331. 331
    Fuck CamweTwat! - a worthy and entorely laudable endeavour! says:


  332. 332
    The Torch says:

  333. 333
    McDonalds says:

    Ur brill !!

    We singing from same sheet but I more deeper than yous .

    E x .

  334. 334
    Dear Viv ..... says:

    …..Please come back. I’ll give you my last 47p.


  335. 335
    Aunty Matter says:


  336. 336
    Lord Screamin Sutch says:

    You feel lonelier by the year, don’t you E?

  337. 337
    E says:

    I fed up with lookin down on people .

    Gimme someone to look up to .

    E x .

  338. 338
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are you an anti-semetic cnut front person? If so ‘get’ fucked.

  339. 339
    Chad Wackerman says:

    Every journalist, blogger, banker, politician, small business person, student, pensioner, CEO, scrounger, foetus should read this comment.

    She means it.

  340. 340
    Blowing Whistles says:

    You’re a “O” then.

  341. 341
    Muzzie youf disrupts Olympic torch procession says:

  342. 342
    Blowing Whistles says:

    From the dizzy heights of the DTI to blagging a few pence out of a poor frail old pensioner … what next you contemptible, fork-tongued, despicable, sad, duplicitous, champagne swilling, socialist suit wearing, low-life union marxist, zioloon, duped midget?

  343. 343
    Blowing Whistles says:

    For you early birds (worm catchers)


    BTW The Agenda 21 AGW / CC nutters are getting it up their ‘extremist’ butts in Bournemouth as of Sat 21st July – getting it big time from ‘the Public’, the taxpayers – and not the locally invertebrate councillors at Bournemouth Borough Council – they’ve got enough problems what with the Audit Commisssion being all over them with the mouchel outsourcing debacle exploding in their faces at present and that’s just for starters.

    Wait until the revelations start to reveal themselves next week at Britains most “Rotten to its core Borough” ….

  344. 344
    not a machine says:

    After the high octane finalie to season 2 in parliament , you would have thought , we might have had a bit of a lull until HOC canteen re opens in sept .
    I was looking forward to reading some of my book accumulations and finishing my thoughts on the nature of freedom and democrcay and how it got subverted .

    The names of the dead of Cinema shooting in USA are being released , perhaps most people are assuming it was a spray of bullits , yet some reports have him managing some point blank range shots . I perhaps side with Chief of Police in not wanting to to give press any macarbe juice , as he said most important thing is that it is presented in court . The role out of the physcology study was interesting , in only that it came to an abrubt halt as soon as it was said he was on one new types of la la drugs . Perhaps in the Uk we look upon these marriages of guns and nutters as unique to USA , but it is hard for us to understand , how movie going premiers can be more of family thing in the USA , with kids dressed in outfits and a safe night out .

    I perhaps make an unusual point in that the USAs gangster history always had that touch of glamour of the racketeer although when the mass shootings first started to appear post ww2 is an interesting thought . In the UK the first one I remeber was Hugerford which i think was 1986 , so quite what was different about culture from 1950 to 1980 when these things dont seem have happened is intertesting to ponder . Although we shouldnt forget that mexico has slipped into narco gun madness .

    I would have thought that by now the legalising drugs lobby would be more understanding of where it all can lead , it will be interesting to see if the USA has to consider both the guns and new sorts of drugs , I mean you consider drugs a sort of pre crime agent equally responsible for all those deaths as much as the hail of bullits and his desire for infamy with his cyber group .

    It will be interesting to see if the USA treats these peddlers of drugs as needing help , or needing help to the gallows , to resolve this new style house of designer drugs . Its pretty well know in sociology that drugs lead to poverty , but we are talking about mental poverty with some of these new drugs , but then have recreational drugs ever offered an undebted escape from anything….. I consider my self very lucky to have got past some of the drugs that were a small part of my youth , in part because I found my christian faith and began to see of these chemically induced happy people as a bit limited and boring , but it has become part of culture and it seems every culture has had some form of it in the past.

    Funny week , we have billionaire couple in a £70mn house who did drugs and was incapable of decalring his wife dead and we have med school grad drop out living in small flat who wanted random people on a family night out dead ,while whatever he was on made him lord of all life and death for a couple of hours . Perhaps “de filing oneself ” literally means losing those internal files that support , self worth , when we take things that are sold as enhancing it by liberal unvalidated seductions that come from certain areas of modern culture .

  345. 345
    not a machine says:

    My only motivation is hoping that there is enough desire to explain what a utter corrupt shambles the last goverment was and that the Eu will turn out to be no better . They lied and busted the economy and very few of them should be sat there drawing 65k a year playing a shoring up there safe seats.

  346. 346
    not a machine says:

    What could possibly be corrupted , in a sandy retirement resort , with a huge foreign students colledge ……….

  347. 347
    by the way... says:

    Thanks for the “flash” shit on your site that caused my browser to crash.

    You c#unts.

  348. 348
    fuck off - bookmark deleted says:

    Fuck your scripts btw.

  349. 349
    Fabians are Evil says:

    So Red Ed is in Europe at a gathering of European Socialist Youth who have a stated objective to do away with Neoliberal Politics. Well I don’t know about you dear reader but this seems to be a very clear insight into Red Ed and the socialist end game.

    You should be scared- very scared!

    “Neoliberalism is in the first instance a theory of political economic practices that proposes that human well-being can best be advanced by liberating individual entrepreneurial freedoms and skills within an institutional framework characterized by strong private property rights, free markets and free trade. The role of the state is to create and preserve an institutional framework appropriate to such practices. The state has to guarantee, for example, the quality and integrity of money. It must also set up those military, defence, police and legal structures and functions required to secure private property rights and to guarantee, by force if need be, the proper functioning of markets. Furthermore, if markets do not exist (in areas such as land, water, education, health care, social security, or environmental pollution) then they must be created, by state action if necessary. But beyond these tasks the state should not venture. State interventions in markets (once created) must be kept to a bare minimum because, according to the theory, the state cannot possibly possess enough information to second-guess market signals (prices) and because powerful interest groups will inevitably distort and bias state interventions (particularly in democracies) for their own benefit.[24]”

  350. 350
    Socialists are stupid says:

    It seems the socialist brothers at that gathering also want to do away with Gays


  351. 351
    Tachybaptus says:

    Neoliberalism is a very off-putting name. But, as defined here, it sounds very like the High Tory principle that the business of government is
    1. To preserve public order,
    2. Not to debase the currency,
    3. Nothing else.
    Dave’s despicable regime, of course, has done the opposite of all three.

  352. 352
    Tachybaptus says:

    Usіng Сhrоmе brоwsеr wіth АdBlосk, Ghоstеrу аnd Dо Νоt Τrасk, аnd blосkіng Јаνаsсrірt оn thіs раgе, І sее nоthіng hеrе І dоn’t wаnt tо sее, еxсерt fоr уоur fееblе mеwlіngs. Τhаt gоеs fоr 347 tоо, thоugh І thіnk іt’s frоm thе sаmе nеtwіmр.

  353. 353
    twat watch says:


  354. 354
    B Wiggins says:

    I didn’t take no drugzzzzzzzzzzzz. Honest ;) ! ;) ! ! ;! ;;;; )

  355. 355
    Anonymous says:

    Well, how very observant of you, not.

  356. 356
    abc says:

    You think I really give a shit?

    Guido is fully arsed up in the media whores he alleges he despises.

    Fuck him and fuck you. You’re welcome to each other.

  357. 357
    Vladimir Putin says:

    Comrade Guido

    The cheque is finally in the post.

    Fraternal Greetings.

  358. 358
    E J Smith, Capt (retired) says:

    I suppose you want ice with that. I’ll send for Presclott.

  359. 359
    Adolf says:

    What’s wrong with you bunch of Jessies ? Owin’ too much to be able to pay more white actors to swell the crowds ?

  360. 360
    Gordon Brown, addressing a row of bins at CurrrrrCudeeee Asylum for Lunatics and Moral Defectives, says:

    The House will be pleased to know that even before it is finished, I have Won the Tour de France! Stats to prove this are presently being generated by the Remedial Maffs Class at CurrrrrCudeeee Akadameeeeeeeee.

  361. 361

    Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park
    Shaves in the dark, trying to save paper
    Sleeps in a hole in the road
    Saving up to buy some clothes
    Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose
    Such a mean old man
    Such a mean old man
    His sister Pam works in a shop
    She never stops, she’s a go-getter
    Takes him out to look at the Queen
    Only place that he’s ever been
    Always shouts out something obscene
    Such a dirty old man
    Dirty old man

  362. 362
    Guidovski says:

    And to you, dear Vlad.
    The Czech is in the holdall.

  363. 363
  364. 364

    44% of All voters want Osborne gone
    22% of Tory votes want him replaced

    But hey ho , it’s business as usual for Calamity Cameron

  365. 365

    Holy Mackerel! How you love a good Carp! How is it up your Plaice? Do you think the coalition is all Pollocks. Think they need a good Shark up? Eel be surprised if they take any notice. You think he ought to go but it is a Red Herring and you will be left Floundering. You cannot Mussel in on them like that because they are well Anchovied in. Better Mullet over for a while.

  366. 366

    As always, the article, the comments on it and you miss the main point.

    If the governments from which the money has fled hadn’t put up taxes to such an obscene level, the perfectly legal avoidance industry would not have grown so.

    Suppose an army of people broke into your house and started to remove all your things? Would you simply sit back and say Well, in the name of equality, go ahead. You must need it more than I otherwise you would not have broken in in the first place?

  367. 367
    Tatton Intel says:

    Osborne’s had his chips.

  368. 368

    Chorley you want some Knuts-for dinner?

  369. 369
    Giddy Osborne says:

    44% of all voters want me gone? Sniiiiff! Hey, man, I’m so far gone I don’t know if I’m coming back, you dig? Wow, cray-zeeee! I can see sound!

  370. 370
    Tatton Intel says:

    I’d rather be like Cnut and have the knaves lapping round my feet as I sit outside his house looking at the Cowes.

  371. 371
    Another crap Gruaniad article says:


    It’s a classic messed-up “wants to have their cake and eat it” article – the money “would be more than enough to pay off their debts to the rest of the world”, and it should be used to “reduce countries’ deficits” and it should be taxed at 30% so that “it would generate a bumper £121bn in revenues – more than rich countries spend on aid to the developing world each year.”

    Which is it to be? Used to pay off debt? Used to reduce deficit? Or taxed at 30% It can’t be all three, and none of them is a viable long-term solution to the global debt problem.

  372. 372

    Nowhere to Hyde when you Sale out on a Lymm.

  373. 373

    Mornin mate , would love to reply , but alas i’m off to the lakes this mornin
    see if i can find a few slate mines i haven’t been down and the odd barrel of bitter i haven’t supped yet !

  374. 374

    I would really like Emily to Oldham before i Bury my face in her Honeywell
    then give her Hollind Bush a good Stoke with my Cockington

  375. 375

    Typo : Hollins Bush

  376. 376

    Don’t worry mate!

    A man has to get his hole and his pint LOL!

  377. 377
  378. 378
    Tatton Intel says:

    Yar, ferry droll.
    Popped in on my old china Deng Xiaoping but he was clearly Needled about something (Havant a clue what) So lent him an ear. Had enough of his inVectis – left with a few words of Tennyson to calm him Down. Back Fresh and watered now.


    BTW, Cnut was a great joker, choosing Bosham ‘hard’, where you sink in up to your waist, to make his point.

  379. 379

    Well. I’ll be Bognored!

  380. 380
    George V says:

    You took the words right out of my mouth.

  381. 381
    Expat Geordie says:

    Nothing new there. Crecy, Agincourt, Blenheim, Trafalgar, Maida, Waterloo, Quebec, Oran, Paris 2012…. Need I go on?

  382. 382
    Expat Geordie says:

    I particularly like the one where a senior manager is getting paid as council staff AND as a contractor. You would have thought that he would have noticed.

    You’re wrong about Bournemouth being Britain’s rottenest borough. Compared to Durham County Council, or Monklands in Scotland, Bournemouth are rank amateurs.

  383. 383
    Expat Geordie says:

    Hungerford was 1987. Michael Ryan did it with mostly illegally held weapons and only got his Firearms Certificate because he was friendly with a policeman. Dunblaine was 1996 and Thomas Hamilton was only able to get his FAC as he was a kiddie fiddler supplying little boys to leading members of the local Labour party.

  384. 384
    Marion the cat says:

    Well yes, it seriously needs moderating – imagine putting Guido, Neo and Billy in the same sentence.

  385. 385
    Marion the cat says:


  386. 386
    Marion the cat says:

    Ray, occasional roles etc, its just a church in Dudley really.

  387. 387
    81IIy 8owden says:

    Please take a full refund and fuck off. This is a full time jobb for somes of us and we take it seriousoly.

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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