July 20th, 2012

Guardian Announce £7 million in Cuts
HQ Rent Rises to £12 Million

News reaches Media Guido that Monday’s Guardian staff meeting was pretty bleak.

Apparently now the landlord’s three year introductory offer is ending, the rent on their absurdly large folie de grandeur HQ has gone up to £12 million and a further £7 million needs to be found in savings. Meanwhile today the Guardian website has been live blogging an internal website developers meeting.

And they wonder why they are losing money…


251 Comments

  1. 1
    Ed Balls says:

    But, they need to borrow more so that borrowing goes down!

  2. 2

    Why doesn’t the Guardian ditch that monstrous, vanity building and just move into the BBC newsroom.

    Cheaper and easier for all concerned.

  3. 3
    tottenham chutzpah says:

    move back to manchester – guardian

  4. 4
    Abi Rigone says:

    They’re losing money because the number of public sector jobs being advertised has dropped massively.

  5. 5

    Agreed.
    If they borrow more to invest in a bigger building and more staff, then the stimulation effect on the local Guardian economy will be sufficient to generate extra cash to allow the newly hired to buy the newspaper and also buy a sandwich from the staff canteen, so generating revenues that repay the loan and generate profits that…

    Nah..its bolloxs isn’t it?

  6. 6
    Scamp The Excitable Dog says:

    These cuts are too deep and too fast.
    Where’s 38 Degrees when you need ‘em most eh?

  7. 7
    Anonymous says:

    The Guardian is not a country.

  8. 8
    Only in the Graun says:

    The rent is £12M? P.A.? Are you sure Guido?

  9. 9

    Salford is not Manchester, unfortunately.

    If it were, there are 39 Manchesters in the USA alone which we could send them to.

  10. 10
    Only in the Graun says:

    You make that sound like a million pounds a month in rent.

    Something wrong with these figures Guido.

    £12M over what period?

  11. 11
    UK UnCut says:

    Occupy the Guardian!
    The 1% are going to keep their millionaire’s salaries whilst the little people get fired!

    Its crony liberalism!

  12. 12
    The 2 Eds says:

    Sounds like a good deal.

  13. 13
    Paper cutz says:

    Saving money is easy at the Graun. All they have to do is recycle press releases from the Blair years, reprint the Tolly Poyn columns upside down. The left will never notice.

    Nor care.

  14. 14
    Only in the Graun says:

    I expect there is room in the BBC’s Salford enclave to contain them all.

    A gated media community with plenty of Starbucks and tapas bars and interesting ethnic restaurants that the Beeboids haunt while the ordinary inhabitants of Salford couldn’t give a fuck about.

  15. 15

    Upwards only rent reviews I shouldn’t wonder. guardian lawyers probably signed a yak and agreed to a dream-catcher deal over Inuit tea, without reading the fine print.

    Last review was 2007, height of the boom.
    If anything the rent should have gone down.

  16. 16
    Only in the Graun says:

    No. It’s a state of mind (or mindlessness).

  17. 17

    Welcome to London. Deka paid £235 million for the building. £12 million is a rental yield of only 5.1%.

  18. 18
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Not enough rent boys in Salford, they would have to bus them in or hire special trains like bbc do

  19. 19
    Tribal Voter in Bog Standard Northern Labour Constituency says:

    You could buy half of Doncaster for that kind of money.

  20. 20
    Soya eating, sandal wearing, new age leftie says:

    Why does this site have a vendetta against The Guardian? It’s a noble publication.

  21. 21
    (optional) says:

    too far too fast… said Yvette

  22. 22
    Only in the Graun says:

    Bill,

    You forget how lucrative the travel expense claims are between the various BBC hubs and Guardian Towers.

    Polly and Seamus are in perpetual transit between the Graun newsdesk and the BBC green room.

    How would they manage unless they were generously subsidised with our money?

  23. 23
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    I see steph 2 eds flanders has got a new show next week called Stephanomics will be like listening to the goon show

  24. 24
    fitzfitz says:

    The elephant in the room : the obvious need to move to Manchester ! It would enable them to get closer to their broadcasting arm, BBC, and out of metropolitan scrutiny …

  25. 25
    Ed Miliband says:

    Don’t they realise they are cutting too far and too fast?

  26. 26
    Derek Smalls says:

    On a practical note: Why don’t they just knock one out from home?
    We all have telephones and an internet connection these days, don’t we guys?

  27. 27

    Deka paid £235 million for the building. £12 million is a rental yield of only 5.1%.

    Welcome to London.

  28. 28
    fitzfitz says:

    Who exactly is that Polly Toynbee bird ? … I can’t quite place her … something about Vaz (Keith) – or perhaps that was the other one …

  29. 29
    Ken Livingstone says:

    I hope they’re paying their cleaners a living wage btw. And will pay them redundancy when the Graun has to close.

  30. 30
    Anne Drecks says:

    It would save on paper.

  31. 31
    Tachybaptus says:

    It’s a сuntery, no doubt of that.

  32. 32
    Owen Jones ate my hamster says:

    It is for whoever owns the building. Who owns the building? Is it one of the unions, or some awful big bankster?

  33. 33
    Sir Alan Bignose says:

    Derek. You are fired wired.

  34. 34
    Ned Flanders says:

    I listened to it and thought it quite good, and balanced.

  35. 35
    Ona Nism says:

    They knock one out from home every day.

  36. 36
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    This issue is one that requires a Judge led enquiry.

  37. 37
    Only in the Graun says:

    Special BBC Rent Boy Trains? Hmmm…


    The Rent Boy Special cumming down the line
    Rent Boy Special right on time
    With coke in my pocket burning up bright
    Humping and a’pumping through the night
    And my heart’s beating ’cause I’ll be meeting
    the Rent Boy Special at the station tonight!

  38. 38
    Liam Neeson says:

    You know when you went to the freshers ball, and you drank so much you could only see blobs? Then when you woke up in the morning you could see ok, but laying next to you was that self-same blob?

    That’s Polly Toynbee

  39. 39
    garden shed expert says:

    Not necessarily. They’d have to print even more copies to fuel the stations to power their servers.

  40. 40
    Nick Buckles (G4S) says:

    My company,G4S,will submit a tender for providing security at the Guardian’s HQ.

  41. 41
    Pc Dixon of Dock Green says:

    A left wing organisation signed a ridiculous contract that meant they were bankrupted after a few years. Then they turned to crime. There’s a lesson we can all learn there, don’t trust the left with money. Night All.

  42. 42
    Only in the Graun says:

    Well if that’s the case they truly deserve to go bust.

  43. 43
    with the greatest respect.... says:

    …says some off-shore ‘paddy’.

  44. 44

    Suppose you’re right.
    And Jon Snow would have a Peter Andre sized hissy.

  45. 45
    Tally Ban Annas says:

    Outsource them both to Afghanistan – cost-saving and educational!

    Did you know that not one of the BBC’s ‘special reporters’ knew how to strip an AK47, or hit a woman when she’s five steps behind?

    We’ll learn ‘em.

  46. 46
    anon says:

    lol that didn’t take long

  47. 47

    But why would anyone want to?

  48. 48
    Only in the Graun says:

    Go for it my son!

  49. 49
    Baldy says:

    nobbled? nob-led?

    Auto-fil acting up?

    I hope you’re not suggesting the Guardian is as corrupt as so many NuLiebore sponsored entrants to the HoL?

  50. 50
    Anti Fabian says:

    It’s extremely cheap compared to a Gordon PFI scheme. They can make 58% return per year for the companies involved. Now who’s paying for that? Oh yeah, we are.

  51. 51
    P Andre says:

    Hey steady!

    I might have a bit of an ego thing but comparing me to Jon ‘not John’ Snow really hurts.

  52. 52
  53. 53
    Baldy says:

    Couldn’t they just cross-dress as school-girls and hang around kebab shops?

  54. 54
    Only in the Graun says:

    It was all signed and sealed in a Yurt apparently.

  55. 55
    Pox News 24/7 says:

    They could save a bit if they get rid of champagne ( would be a chav without all her money ) Toynbee

  56. 56
    Only in the Graun says:

    You could only buy half anyway as the other half was demolished by Mrs Thatcher in the 1980s apparently.

  57. 57
    Only in the Graun says:

    I wonder what her views are on the German banning of circumcision.

    Ed cut or Ed uncut? What’s tastier?

  58. 58
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Panic at the BBC. Where will we get our stories from if the Guardian goes under?

  59. 59
    I don't need no doctor says:

    She would not even get a job at Macburgers.

  60. 60
  61. 61
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘I ’m a pissed arse Bullshitter myself, but I like to hear a professional at it. So please continue!!’

  62. 62
    Confused green lefty Pillock says:

    There are plenty of highly efficient and reliable windfarms around these days generating lots and lots of free energy now, isn’t there? I read it in the Graun so it must be true right?

  63. 63

    That £12m is only for half the building that Guardian occupy, Guido/Neo. They filled the other half with new tenants so they are probably seeing >10%. Still low for London as getting that level in the north east currently.

  64. 64
    Jimmy Cranky says:

    I’m a vegetarian, though.

  65. 65
  66. 66
    keredybretsa says:

    Perhaps Putin will be interested in buying the job lot of lefties!

  67. 67
    Only in the Graun says:

    I seriously suggest offer them a piece on this.

    They are so into troll articles on CiF nowadays this could just take the biscuit.

    Occupy Guardian!

    I’ll borrow a knackered old tent and a smelly dog on a bit of string and will BE THERE!

  68. 68
    Gordoom Brown says:

    You forget the PFI part.

    Add in the 30,098% repayment interest and it all adds up fine.

  69. 69
    E says:

    I’m a fairly reliable wind-farm ;)

  70. 70
    B. Boyd Boss says:

    We’ll always take Polly Twaddle on and keep her in the bubbly she’s accustomed to.

  71. 71
    Burny Made Off says:

    And if that room has a letterbox and a gallon of unleaded …….

  72. 72
    Gooey Blob says:

    The Guardian’s agenda just doesn’t fit in an age of austerity. It won’t recover anytime soon.

  73. 73

    Half a job still to do, then.

    Where is Blaster Bates when you need him?

  74. 74
    Elephant Removals - F A S T says:

    Unsightly, unmentionable pachyderm in your living room?

    Call ERF (Elephant Removals – F A S T) on 0800 700700

    No Elephant too big or too small.

    Call between 08.00 and 20.00 and ask for Reg.

  75. 75
    ToonBob... says:

    Does anyone read the Grauniad these days??

  76. 76
  77. 77
    McChannaman says:

    As long as they don’t cut the Football Weekly podcast. Everything else can go.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Done one.

  79. 79
    Rupert Murdoch says:

    Couldn’t be happening to a nicer group of folks. Ask me if I could possibly give even less of a fuck for what’s in store for them. Although I do relish the thought that it would put paid to a possible post-Parliament-and-prison-term prospective job for a certain obese four-eyed Birmingham MP.

  80. 80
  81. 81
    ToonBob... says:

    Get yer dibdobs out for the lads !!

  82. 82
    Nullbymouth says:

    Witnessed by Swampy

  83. 83
    Nullbymouth says:

    Noble as in the gases? i.e. Inert

  84. 84
    Cheese & Onion Snacks says:

  85. 85
    John Mann says:

    +99

  86. 86
    Sir William Waad says:

    Surely it was Presclott?

  87. 87
    Sir William Waad says:

    I would miss the Grauniad. I’ve never actually paid for a copy but have often read it, either in cellulose form or on the web. It has the best writing of any paper. If only it were less narrow-minded!

  88. 88
  89. 89
    Andrew Efiong says:

    They’re like just like Labour, always wasting money on things.

    Worse, looks to me like they’ve been stitched up by their landlord. They’re almost as incompetent in negotiations as a public sector shirker!

  90. 90
    the man with two brains says:

    Hmmm. A thought-provoking comment.

    Now – back to Angry Birds (level 2)

  91. 91
    Lord Coe of Olympic fame says:

    Meanwhile:

    Ed Miliband has urged border staff not to strike on the eve of the Olympics.

    Well now – the brothers won’t like that, no doubt McClusky will be havin a word!

  92. 92
    James D'beanpole says:

    Daily Mail = hypocritical scum. Read my blog instead.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk

  93. 93
    Gonk says:

    Don’t forget the essential and progressive “Babies at work” campaign.
    Just the ticket when you have a tight deadline or need to tutor a witness.

  94. 94
    Kaye Skytart says:

    Another Munich 72 would be good for the ratings though.

  95. 95
    Matthew Amawillywally says:

    We should meet up and compare notes, Kate. Unfortunately, my local doesn’t have a helipad, I don’t think.

  96. 96
    Bo Locks says:

    Hey! I said that!!

  97. 97
    bY pASSER says:

    lOOKS LIKE IT’S STARTING IN aMERICA THOUGH!

  98. 98
    Yeah..right.... says:

    Fuck off Delingpole, you pointless c’unt.

  99. 99
    Yeah..right.... says:

    America is an alarm clock waiting to go off with no snooze function.

  100. 100
    Mornington Crescent says:

    ‘oo’s the bint next to Militwerp? Does she fancy N’eo?

  101. 101
    A lying cheating useless two-faced hypocritical pretentious pontificating fuckwit (no, not Gordo) says:

    I’ve asked all my chums with huge estates, deer parks, and grouse moors – if they would like to have one or more additional Wind Farms to help offset the new taxes! – one has to look after one’s chums!! What! Wattage!!!! Wotascam!!!!!

  102. 102
    Auto Gestion says:

    I’d piss myself laughing if Murdoch ends up owning the Guardian.

  103. 103
    Kaye Skytart says:

    If you ignore the ++++++NEWS ALERT!!!!!!++++++s though, it’s just another country.

  104. 104
    Yeah..right.... says:

    True enough. I never go to the cinema anyway.

  105. 105
    A lying cheating useless two-faced hypocritical pretentious pontificating fuckwit (YES - it's Gordo) says:

    I don’t wear sandorls

    I don’t wear a beerd

    I don’t eat muzzli

    I don’t eat soy stuff

    I like to frolick in the dunes

    I like to hang about in the Kitchens of Special People

    AND I DO read the Grouniad! – there, – what does that say?

  106. 106
    and added says:

    come in slow Big Boy – or it’ll all be over too soon – then we’ll have to go back to talking

  107. 107
    Mornington Crescent says:

    O/T but, FFS, we can’t even get Brits to carry the fucking Olympic torch:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-18902961

    I mean, what???

  108. 108
  109. 109
    BorDom says:

    The Guardian needs to be incorporated into the BBC to prevent a Murdoch momoply of the media

  110. 110
    from the real world ... says:

    Really? Most people wouldn’t even notice or give a shit because most people don’t read papers.

  111. 111
    Colin the Meek says:

    Fuck ‘em.

  112. 112
    Innocent Bystander says:

    That will be as a Bunny Girl in the Executive Lounge?

  113. 113

    That £12m is only for half the building that Guardian occupy, Guido/Neo. They filled the other half with new tenants so they are probably seeing >10%.

    This wasn’t here when I last looked. Did you have trouble with the M0db0t? :-D

  114. 114
    Innocent Bystander says:

    Isn’t it all about sensitivity and starring power?

  115. 115
    B. Ellend says:

    Six-Five Special? You’re showing your age!

  116. 116
    Genevieve says:

    Read it for me. I don’t care.

  117. 117
    Nurse says:

    Gordon !!!!!! Really !

  118. 118
    pos says:

    Definition of LOCOG

    Lots

    Of

    Conniving

    Overpaid

    Gits

    They should hang their heads in shame. Masses of money has been squandered and wasted as this once great country slowly falls to her feet.
    It makes we want to weep. RIP Great Britain

  119. 119
    Ali Baba says:

    They could, I guess… but who’d buy a Graun meat kebab?

  120. 120
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am Olympic coconut headbutt champion

  121. 121
    10 out of 10 for Observation says:

    Indeed.

  122. 122
    Anonymous says:

    I knew it was coming but it slipped out prematurely, Nurse. I studied it and then signed it.

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    As with all my poos, I could have fine tuned it but then a poo is just a poo at the end of the day etc.

  124. 124
    Good question says:

    After 13 years on NuLibour it’s finally starting to unravel.

  125. 125
    8illy Boredom is the grossest bumpile ever ! says:

    I’m quite intrigued as to where your moniker came from, kered. I think I spotted you on The Telegraph site once or twice.

  126. 126
    Guardian Announce £7 million in Cuts says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *TAKES DEEP BREATH*

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *TAKES DEEP BREATH*
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *HEAD FALLS OFF*

  127. 127
    Ripley says:

    I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure

  128. 128
    Murdoch says:

    Now there’s an idea!

  129. 129
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    I’ll fight you for that moniker, old chap.

    lol x *waves* and laughs “big time?”

  130. 130
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    *giggles* Whatever turns you on, I say.

  131. 131
    Message from Allan (Ex-Postie & Chancellor) Johnsonn Delivering Mail was not my fawlty..... says:

    This PFI Interest rate is very low allowing for inflation & capital

    displacements spread over next 4 decades = 25 years

    its a cracking good deal & with my vast fiscal experience which I can write

    on the back of a undelivered letter, Cheap as Chips plus BBC are Guarantors…..

    I recommend The Mirror Group should go for this before those Nasty Tory

    Bankers squash what is a great deal ……..and I’ve phoned Gordon from the

    swimming pool of my 5 star Villa here in sunny %£$@~**….to condemn him

    Thank you, Fcuk off & don’t bother me until mid September……….

  132. 132
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    These cuts are WRONG!

  133. 133
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Ed Milliband looks like 12 types of wanker

  134. 134
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    Yes! Fucking ‘em is the right thing to do!

  135. 135
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    Fine tuning poo is WRONG!

  136. 136
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    This age of austerity is WRONG!

  137. 137
    Dave is a wet! says:

    Guido owning the Guardian would be even funnier.

  138. 138
    From the EUSSR Budget Office of Fiscal Make Believe Spokesperson says:

    Thats much to a low rate of rental return to ensure all EUSSR Taxes are properly extorted & sequested to Brussels for our vast never ending building of new palaces going on since 1958

  139. 139
    Sheik Yorwwink'l says:

    Maria al-Qibtiyya, the Coptic woman, did not marry Mo -she was a concubine

  140. 140
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    He’s a spherical bastard because every way you look at him he’s a bastard.

    Courtesy of the late great Fritz Zwicky.

  141. 141
    Jonah McBroone says:

    prudence, austerity and caber tossing are fine, character building, Scottish activities

  142. 142
    Sheik Yorbabyymak'r says:

    At least one of your bumlifting compatriots seems eager to take up the task

  143. 143

    He could not afford the drop in income.

  144. 144
    Anonymous says:

    All of these idiotic stereotypes suggest that you are the kind of slack-jawed reprobate that enjoys a “country supper” or a “kitchen supper” or whatever it is you and your kleptocracy enjoy.

  145. 145
    from the Brain of Gordon says:

    I laughed so much at that one a little bit of wee came out

  146. 146
    Soames says:

    Not being funny but why does Cameron keep saying ‘let me be clear’ is he hungover or something or does he have truble with his eyes

  147. 147

    Just think.

    A Labour Party trip to Denver to see Batman.

    It would have been worth paying the expenses. I would have chipped in.

  148. 148
    CMD,The Bullington Tory Toff Liar (only Peasants use the Tube, I have my Personnal Chopper) says:

    Let me state once again we are following to the letter the spending programme of the previous ZanuLieLabor (Mis)Government & have increased the capital amount by 45.3567% per annum which does allow for QE inflation.

    This will ensure that UK Plc will be totally fcuked & completley bankrupt before 2015 & ensure we are for evermore in total hock to the EUSSR for the next 1000 years.

    Rest assured We really are all total tos*sers of Darling’s together….. sounds about Reich to me….. what….what

  149. 149
    Anon BBC Left Wing Bent wan*ker says:

    Have you ever been to that shit hole called Salford ????????

    No thought not…..

    I was mugged inside the safe room of Media City for

    my cold cup of coffee……

    That fully explains the reason it will never happen……….

    so fcuk off, you Nasty Party acolyte …….

  150. 150
    Pete Murray was my Name now its Dodgy Joints Doris from the Shepherds Bush Piss Home says:

    Wish you lot would all fcuk off & leave me to dream on about wanking,

    Bet none of you ever had one on the 6.5 special cuming down the line…..

  151. 151
    Ah! Monika says:

    The new face of Egyptian TV: News channel run by women who wear full veil.

    If only Fiona Bruce would do the same

  152. 152
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Do you have a red neck?

    (NB This question is only intelligible to ornithologists.)

  153. 153
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Little Known Poptastic Fact No. 65,209

    Pete Murray dyed his fizzog with very same shade of woodstain popularised by the ever-popular Mr P. Hain.

  154. 154
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Oi, do you mind? I am a slack-jawed reprobate and have never once held, or attended, a “kitchen supper”, for that would deprive the staff of somewhere to eat their evening meal.

  155. 155
    I am the Real DG of Biased Broadcasting Corp as Voted by Guardian Readers says:

    What do you mean AUZ ???

    That will lower standards even more as they are all from

    transported convict stock….

  156. 156
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I may disagree with what you say, bro, but I defend to the death your right to say it!

  157. 157
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Where is The Hon. John Mann MP (Lab., Bassetlaw) when you need him during the composition of a retort about self abuse?

  158. 158
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Thought the ‘Wicked Tories’ had eaten all the babies?

  159. 159
    The Secretariat of Comrade Len MaCloiskys Empire & still Tax Payer Funded says:

    He would have a word BUT he’s on his 3 months annual hols in
    one of the worlds top Tax Free Sun Spots

    So the Brothers will have to stay revolting……..

  160. 160
    His Holiness T.Bliar & Extremely Filthy Rich Associates says:

    Where should I send my large Urgent donation, via Pay Pal OK ??

    that should get things going with a bang……

  161. 161

    What the Arch Wanker of the British Isles?

    That one?

  162. 162
    Ah! Monika says:

    10.00 Fiona = Serious face, Acting the News. lower voice = serious. Turning over

  163. 163
    The Olympics Brand Police - we know your every thort! says:

    Evnin’ All !

    Now don’t you go about a’thinkin’ you can do wot u like wiv Olumpic stuff – we is watchin’ u – an’ we no whar’ u lif!

    So WATCHIT !!!!

  164. 164
    Bank on Dave says:

    Oops Not the best choice for our new venture ( Channel 4 )

  165. 165
    BBC Censor states She cant take anymore shocks tonight says:

    WIRES FLASH Dairy Farmers starting to block Milk Processors again

    tonight…….

    Better get Red Ed on News Night to condemn those nasty tories

    for cutting to fast & to far

  166. 166

    Sky News

    Scare talk without grounds:

    Violators (of the Olympic Movement) can be fined up to £20,000.

    Says who?

    Who passed such regulations?

    Sheer myth.

  167. 167
    Goblin Porridge says:

    O O O Ooops! That’s me in jail ….
    O O

  168. 168
    Goblin Porridge says:

    O O O
    ..O O Fuck you, Seb Coe!

  169. 169

    Welcome to the Gold, Silver, Bronze, Summer Olympics internet…

    (Not one penny paid to the Olympics Committee or its sponsers for exercising my freedom of speech.)

  170. 170
    Long Bear*ded Man says says:

    Don’t worry, going to happen sooner that you think !! long before year of 1417

    The Ladies News rehearsal actually took place in Shepherds Bush at the old

    BBC Centre ?? look at the floor !! You Infi*dels

  171. 171
    Gordon Fcuking.McMental says:

    What a NewsPaper I’ve never read one in my life

    Where’s Sue she has messed up again….bigot…..

  172. 172
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    lol – no disguisin the author tho ♥

  173. 173
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    Ur jus sore coz ur viewin figures is gonna be halved .

    …to one .

    Innit ???

  174. 174
    Auz Sheep Shag*gers Mate says:

    Wonder what Dirty Digger would find in the Guardian’s Unpublished Archives if he did buy this rag from the Tory Liquidator…………

    Go for it Roo….

  175. 175
    Anon Hacked off Voter !! says:

    Annal Regions more likely……

    Remember He was trained by McNut

  176. 176
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Guardian needs a Plan B.

  177. 177
    mother nature bites yer bum .. says:

    This vintage 2011 home-made cider is revolting, Stew.

  178. 178
    How to lick your pros into shape says:

    Portmanteau terms such as EUSSR. Liebour and Banksters (not to mention Bliar and Zanulabour) are best avoided as nobody any longer sees them and thinks: ” How clever. I wish I’d thought of that!” (in fact it’s a bit depressing that anybody ever did).
    A simple EU (boo! hiss!), Labour (boo! hiss!), Bankers (boo! hiss!) etc will suffice.

  179. 179
    JH says:

    “Conran Signh’s aim is to better understand what the reader is doing and wanting from a story at any given time.”

    It’s probably mainly right of centre readers love, dropping in to seethe their way through a story on how great North Korea is or how taking away tax credits from middle class families might mean little Cressida would have to take fewer violin lessons.

    We actually enjoy having our blood pressure raised by lefty bullshit like that. It affords us pleasant waves of validation for our general distain of the left and its print and broadcast propaganda wings, The Naurgiad and the BBC.

    Of course, the Guardian does not do this on purpose to get more click-throughs and ad revenue. Oh no.

    Dyed in the wool lefties who actually read and agree with the articles probably number less than 50’000. No wonder The Guardian is going down the shitter the second the flow of money from productive enterprise peters out, just like every other socialist vanity project since the beginning of time.

  180. 180
  181. 181

    No. Iam sore because I should have spelled it sponsors.

  182. 182
  183. 183
    Socialism = Starvation says:

    New Olympic Event, to reward LOCOG troughers for their efforts and give the Squaddies a chance to participate.

    Live bait bayonet practice: see how far and fast some former Olympians can still run.

  184. 184

    Rule Number 6: There is no Rule Number 6.

  185. 185
    AC1 says:

    du yew knot hav spelim chequer orn yer browzer?

  186. 186
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    Ooooh !! U’s such a perfectionista . I woulda never of noticed it x .

    Dave x PM 2010-2014 RIP

  187. 187

    No for the same reason as I don’t have a GPS.

    They make the brain lazy.

    Me spellink uzed to bee god.

  188. 188
    Stew says:

    I wouldn’t know.

  189. 189
    Bodo says:

    Yep, the BBC and the Guardian should move in and share the same building. All the Pollygentsia. Together. In one place.

  190. 190
    says:

    I have never kissed a Dave before.

  191. 191
    JH says:

    “Political philosophers are sharply divided on these questions. Many do not like the idea that people “deserve” things at all. For one thing, most people think that to deserve something, a person must have done something to deserve it. That implies that there are actions that for which certain people are responsible. Seem obvious? A lot of metaphysicians don’t think so.”

    Ayn Rand nails this bullshit thus:

    “Your code divides mankind into two castes and commands them to live by opposite rules: those who may desire anything and those who may desire nothing, the chosen and the demand, the riders and the carriers, the eaters and the eaten. What standard determines your caste? What passkey admits you to the moral elite? The passkey is lack of value.

    “Whatever the value involved, it is your lack of it that gives you a claim upon those who don’t lack it. It is your need that gives you a claim to rewards. If you are able to satisfy your need, your ability annuls your right to satisfy it. But a need you are unable to satisfy gives you first right to the lives of mankind.

    If only she was a better writer.

  192. 192
    3 toes mustef says:

    I think you have missed an opportunity, a message to the world, It’s just some guys and girls showing how tough they are. You can do this with 2 or 3 sticks and a couple of rocks in a park.. 3 grand tops and the tv can pay for the broadcast, nobody has to actually come. LOL it’s 2012 innit.

  193. 193
    Anonymous says:

    Fucking BBC
    Fucking EU
    Fucking Trades Unions
    Fucking bed wetters
    Fucking Socialists
    Fucking immigrants
    Fucking bankers
    Fucking Local Councils
    Fucking Quangos
    Fucking terrorist sympathisers

    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

  194. 194
    Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan MD, US Army says:

    I mean, if you’re going to shoot up the place, at least be a “Soldier of God,” as I was, not some Batman villain wannabe. I may be a zealot of a certain Levantine religion, but I’m also a psychiatrist. I think I know a silly stupid-ass nutcase when I see one, and this fucktard qualifies, no question.

  195. 195
    Grrr says:

    I went to the Guardian building – it looks like the elysee palace – grand, expensive, absurdly posh – and full of upper class Marxists drinking organic Fair Trade Lattes while typing furiously on their expensive MacBooks.

  196. 196
    Bluebird says:

    DEFRA-esq Bod “Do you have an export licence for that trunked quadraped.”

  197. 197
    3 toes mustef says:

    you forgot to mention women

  198. 198
    Detective Sgt Joe Friday says:

    The story you have just seen is true; however, since nobody in this deal was innocent, we used the real names. On January 1, 2013, the Guardian went into administration and was adjudged so insolvent that a winding-up order was issued. Rupert Murdoch bought up the intellectual property rights to the “Guardian” name, published a new newspaper under that name, and immediately began to put tits on Page 3, thus boosting circulation tenfold the first week. Just the facts.

  199. 199
    not a machine says:

    Is the man doing the power point presentation explaining how it will all work out right by using endrogenous growth theory :)

  200. 200
    A Rusbridger says:

    … and Guardianistas
    you mindless right wing, fascist, daily mail reading, homophobic (hang on – you didn’t mention them – do you bat for the other side or something?)

  201. 201
    Anonymous says:

    Is there a Mrs Lord Coe? Didn’t realise he was 1/4 Indian.

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    G@ys – first on the list!
    Guardanistas – right after Trades Unions!

  203. 203
    Nurse Umbongo says:

    You is a dirty boy init!

  204. 204
    Aunty Matter says:

    Amelia Hill was on the Sky paper review tonight. She really is a thick bitch, she can hardly string two words together.

    No wonder coppers like her.

  205. 205
    cAMERA mAN - THE pr (UP THE ARSE) guRU says:

    lEAVE IT ALL TO ME SHAPS! – i’LL GET THE COMMON SHEEPLE BEHIND US – THEY ALWAYS RESPOND TO FIRM AUTHORITIYU!

  206. 206
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I passed wind so I must have passed tihs as well.

  207. 207
    Aunty Matter says:

    Not just that, have you seen rat face Kirsty Wark on Newsnight flashing her cellulite thighs? It’s disgusting.

  208. 208
    sOSOSHERLISM STINKS - SO DOES CAMERACLEGISM says:

    You load of tossers! You toolkit of deparvity! Fuck you!

  209. 209
    8i11y 8owd3n's mum says:

    Is that you 8i11y?

  210. 210
    Tachybaptus says:

    Surfacing rather late, I can tell you that ruficollis is my last name.

  211. 211
    Been to the pictures says:

    The Dark Knight Rises is fucking fantastic.

  212. 212
    Bill Bell says:

    They all must be off their fuckin tits on coke

  213. 213
    Bill Bell says:

    Didin’t I read somewhere he was autistic

  214. 214
    Bill Bell says:

    Wish they’d cut my taxes

  215. 215
    Bill Bell says:

    Bush House must be up for grabs

  216. 216
    Bill Bell says:

    Not far enough north for me, closer to the melting ice caps please

  217. 217
    Bill Bell says:

    I’m sure there’s a difference between an asset and a commodity

  218. 218
    Bill Bell says:

    Your half way there

  219. 219
    Bill Bell says:

    It was bollocks, her esteemed economists seemed to suggest that we needed to build houses, like in the 1930’s, problem then and now, is you can’t export houses!

  220. 220
    Bill Bell says:

    I live in Staffordshire and I protest, far to close for my liking

  221. 221
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    They can’t print money, unlike the govt.

  222. 222
    Lord Jensen Interceptor says:

    Aster by Derek.

  223. 223
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Steph? For a moment I read “Staph”.

  224. 224
    Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

    A Socialist core belief – those who are a waste of space are ‘morally superior’ to, and therefore allowed to blight the lives of, any productive people.

    Well, we’ve convinced the magistrates and judges of that, and isn’t that what matters when it comes to jail-time?

  225. 225
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Sounds like you must get a lot of business.

  226. 226

    Of course. Land and buildings are not fungible. Your point?

  227. 227
    Clawity begins at home says:

    Eye howp yu woz oldin a pep see wen yu rowt that.

  228. 228
    Clawity begins at home says:

    Without wishing to colour your views at all, the word is not diSTAIN; it is disdain.

    That has cost you 3 points today.

  229. 229
    Clawity begins at home says:

    and politicians
    and the British weather
    and the price of eggs these days

    We could all go on…

  230. 230
    From New Delhi to Darjeeling etc says:

    Welll goodness gracious me!

  231. 231
    FUCK THE OLYMPICS says:

    Stuff your logos where the sun doesn’t shine, i.e. back where they came from.

  232. 232
    FUCK THE OLYMPICS says:

    Marx and Sponsors, shurely ?

  233. 233
    Sun Myung Moon says:

    My time will come again very soon.

  234. 234
    Nulab immigration policy says:

    No but you can import people

  235. 235
    Lefty Fucktard says:

    There should be a Newspaper License as well as a TV License which people have to pay for and that money can go to The Guardian and then because of the unique way it is funded the Guardian can be the best newspaper in the world ever and forever.

    Polly Toynbee could right puff pieces about how fond the British people are of ‘Aunty’ Guardian which is illustrated by all the money they pay for their Newspaper Licenses which they uniquely buy under threat of prison.

    People would be sent threatening pseudo-legalese letters if they have not got a Newspaper License, even if they don’t buy or want newspapers. Inspectors would be sent round to try to get people to sign forms saying they read a newspaper once and then they can be sent to court and fined and that money can go to the Guardian too. This all creates jobs.

    You see people, it really is not that difficult once intelligent people start to think about it.

  236. 236
    Bottoms Up says:

    Eh! Now calm down 8illy 8umshire, i’m sure he’ll ring you tomorrow.

    Geeesus!

  237. 237
    8illy no mates says:

    She’s know to be an alky isn’t she?
    So probably pissed up.

  238. 238
    Jethro says:

    200 My Missus can tell you all about Androgenous growth: theory and practice!

  239. 239
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    If they were less hypocritical they could buy an igloo, and feed their staff to starving polar bears, whilst waiting for global warming to increase the value of their investment.

  240. 240
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    Producing an effective and profitable product is not the point. That newspaper is just an excuse to justify it’s bosses’ lifestyle. They want a plush environment with access to the lefty intelligentsia and political influence, perhaps with tax losses and scams thrown in. Fu*k the workers!

    if the newspaper closed they would just find some other hypocritical scheme to channel money and influence to themselves. Maybe they could claim Lottery money to support a national institution, a vital part of Britain’s heritage threatened by the unbridled excesses of capitalism.

  241. 241
    Hypocrite Leftwing cunt says:

    Bravo!!!

  242. 242
    Hypocrite Leftwing cunt says:

    You’re a fake…..the real Ed would say “WONG”

  243. 243
    Lord Flashcunt says:

    Re. Rubbisher’s other cripplingly expensive vanity project – does anyone know how many hours a day the Grauniad’s Berliner presses are actually in operation? Of course, they’d be able to offset their losses by taking on third party printing jobs during press downtime, if they used the same format as everyone else.

  244. 244
    Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

    The voters are catching on. I’ve said it for years – we need a completely different populace… shit!… is this microphone on?

  245. 245
    Latimer Alder says:

    A developer in the forum presents something called

    ‘The Guardian Time Saver’.

    It seems from their circulation figures that many have already discovered that the best way to save time when reading the Grauniad is not to bother with the f…..g thing at all.

    Long may its terminal decline mirror the plummeting public belief in its sacred cow of catastrophic global warming.

  246. 246
    Baldy says:

    Next you’ll be telling us not to call the EU-loving political cartel the LibLabCon. :)

    It’s worth calling these people/organisations by how they actually behave, to counter the constant tax-payer ripped off funded spin.

    Of course they would much rather you talk about them as they would like to be called so they can live off the credit of long-gone people, you know, the ones who worked to improve education, science and politics for the common good.

    Instead these are now all debased just for a few troughers to get richer and to fund impractical ideologues who know the words to make our impotent politicians feel important – ’50 days to save the world’ etc.

    Another example people increasingly recognise are those organisations which are given our money by the govt, to then lobby that same govt for policies they want to push onto us against our will, making up the ‘settled science’ to set people against each other – they are in every sense ‘fake charitees’.

  247. 247
    Baldy says:

    And how did you find that out? ;)

  248. 248
    Anonymous says:

    Unrecognisable now, to those who knew it when it was home to the world service (back then, we used to Capitalise its Very Name):

    “Since March, Bush House has been emptying gradually. Region by region and floor by floor, the language services have been leaving. Now the move is complete, the building is silent and the lifts come unnervingly fast.”

    From BBC News Magazine 12th July 2012

  249. 249
    chortle chortle says:

    I laughed so hard i think a bit of wee came out

  250. 250
    La' says:

    Because of the unique way we are unfunded we can write all kinds of sanctimonious shite.

  251. 251

    Hi to every , for the reason that I am actually keen of reading this website抯 post to be updated on a regular basis. It includes good material.


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