July 20th, 2012

Friday Caption Competition (Ban Ki Brown UN Envoy Edition)


  1. 1

    “Mr Glayson. I big fan of your show. Shut that door! Velly funnee! “

  2. 2
    Nan Taylor says:

    “And then I sucked Tony’s shit to a point, like this”

  3. 3
    Jesus Christ says:

    “Gordon gives Ban Ki the kiss of death”

  4. 5
    Dave Bruce says:

    I don’t do tongues on the first date mr brown

  5. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Two 52′s, a 69, Egg fried rice, and extra prawn crackers, please.

    Oh, and she’s paying…

    • 114
      Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

      Yes Sir!
      That’ll be 20 billion Euros please. Make the cheque out to Germany, it’ll save time.

  6. 8
    Anoneumouse says:

    Do you want to see some puppies?

  7. 9
  8. 11
    Gordon Brown (Retd.) says:

    Yes, I bought my bride, but she’s not Thai…

  9. 14

    Yes! Yes! Know punchline! Some clunt tlying to whistle?

  10. 15
    Charlie the Chump says:

    I wuv oo wittle chinky winky

  11. 17

    Mr Brown, when you said you had something ‘really big’ to show me, I assumed it was going to be your debts.

  12. 20
    Gonk says:

    “That’s it, just blow and hey presto Roger Whittaker. Well done Mr. Brown.”

  13. 23
    W V M says:

    “Whooo Banki I did a whoopsie on my shift”

  14. 24

    I had to change my name. Now I’m Ban Ki Co-Op

  15. 25
    Gonk says:

    “Oops, don’t tell me you ended up in a broom cupboard too “

  16. 26

    Gordon invites Ban to come naked short selling.

  17. 27
    Ban-ki Wastes all your money at UN says:

    Ah sool..!!.. your not normal like us then!!………Mr Browne

  18. 28
    The Old Brown Co*ck Suc*ker says:

    No …Not here Gordon….I believe we are being watched !!

  19. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Try finding a picture of UN SG Ban ki moon, rather than the Chinese Premier. Or do they all look the same you plonker?

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      Good spot – but I don’t think it’s him, either?

      • 41
        ToonBob... says:


        chinese premier wen jiabao

        Both very similar in the looks department.

        • 49

          I think anon is right.

          On reflection it does look like Wen Jibao meeting Frankie Howerd.

          • Transgender Barry in a HoC tax payers funded Watering Hole says:

            But Frankie used to wear a real crown topper……

            not some Rent Boys shorn pu*bic hairs

            rewoven in one of Kirkaldy’s many sweat shops……….

          • Sid says:

            Larry Grayson more like – though I’ve no idea who the commier murderer is.

    • 50
      W V M says:

      At first glance I thought it was the Chinese Premier too although with camera the angle it’s hard to tell for sure.

  20. 30

    Is that a Brown Bess musket you have in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

  21. 31
    Gonk says:

    ” You’re completely right, that new MG is fucking shit “

  22. 32
    olddicky says:

    Mr Brown I not like Peter Mandelson. I only kiss ladees.

    • 100
      Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

      Nobody likes Mandelson, it’s quite disconcerting to look around and see it’s him, I can tell you… and it’s pronounced ladd-ies.

  23. 33
    ToonBob... says:

    Pucker one’s lips to give a blow job to a Korean with a little willie, perhaps?

  24. 35
    Gordon from Outside of the Closet says:

    This is how I pursed my lips when I forced myself to kiss Tony’s
    annal regions…..How about you ??

  25. 36
    Stepney says:

    The clunking kiss that precedes famine, pestilence and disaster.
    (Trad. Malaysian Saying).

  26. 37
    Loungelizard says:

    Brown….Just on my way to Denver, thought I’d take in the new Batman film.

  27. 38
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” Ah Mr Brown, I see you have been sampling the schoolchildren already!”

  28. 39
    ToonBob... says:

    It is easy to confuse ‘em…… this is Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao ??

  29. 40
    Gonk says:

    ” No, I don’t think I’ve ever tried dog”

  30. 42
    Bob"Rough" Diamond says:

    Gord to Ban Ki

    ” You give marvellous hand jobs,sweetie”

  31. 43

    And when do you expect growth to reappear, Mr Blown?

  32. 44
    Anti Fabian says:

    Ban Ki Moon meets Wan Ky Loon

  33. 47
    Where's Lady Ashton when you need her says:

    Mr Who-ever-you-are, I’m thinking of giving up my seat – are you interested?

  34. 48
    I'm not Ban-ki-Moon either says:

    Slorry I’ve heard all about you are a very tight Jock Git, but you have to pay for this rentboy yourself………$dollars or gold bars only……!!

  35. 51
    gildedtumbril says:

    A pair of moons.

  36. 54
    Gordon Brown says:

    You plenty like me suck you off

  37. 55
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Gordon’s wide-mouthed frog joke punchline gets lost in translation.

    (Did you hear the one about Gordon, & 2 trannies, in a car, in Scotland? No? DA-Notice.)

  38. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “A pleasure to meet you, Reverend Moon! My father was a reverend, too!

  39. 57
    Harry Krishna says:

    Do you think this is better than the big gulp I used to do

  40. 58
    Aunty Matter says:

    Gordon has always enjoyed a good Moon.

  41. 59

    Premier Wen: I took my country from a third world, economically stagnant, communist party elite, centrally planned basket case, into possibly the wealthiest nation in the entire world.

    Gordon Brown: That’s a coincidence. I did the exact opposite.

  42. 60
    Bliars (Non) Ethical Spokesperson says:

    These are not just any puckered up Queer’s Lips

    These really are Gordon Browne’s UN Bum..Boy’s only Queer Lips

  43. 61
    Mister E says:

    Kiss Kiss, Ban Ban

  44. 62
    Arthur George Kamya says:

    Oh come off it!!! Aint hard at all to differentiate Ban Ki Moon (Korean) from Wen Jiabang (Chinese PM). And no, I am not Asian. This is definitely PM (Grandpa) Wen. This particular Friday caption is more a pun on Guido and his readers than on GB. Not funny, indicative 0f monumental ignorance. Maybe time to throw in the towel on this one…eh…NeoGuido????

    • 68
      JH says:

      ‘Throwing in the towel’ is clearly an insult to Germans – RACIST! Delete your post immediately, and never raise your head again.

      God, this is easy. I can see why it appeals to lefties.

      • 71
        Sigourney says:

        Gordon thought that his Larry Adler impression would help him with the UN job as he had been told Ban was a big fan but unfortunately his meeting was with the Chinese PM

  45. 63
    Sigourney says:

    Ban was very impressed with Gordon’s Larry Adler impressions

    • 66
      Sigourney says:

      “you do know how to whistle, don’t you ? You put your lips together and blow”

      • 82
        Gordoom Brown says:

        oh I can blow alright.
        I’ve blown billions. I just called it investment.

        • 98
          The English Collective Sad*ism Electors says:

          You would call it Investement you fcuking numskull jock annal reject……

          But we are the stupid fcuking asr*se holes that let you carry on doing it

          to us for 13 fcuking years……..

          and then allow Heir to Bl*iar to carry on doing the same…….

  46. 64
    Maximus says:

    Gt Scotch McBusturd – “So tell me, how high is a Chinaman really?”

  47. 69
    mitch says:

    Gordon attempts to use the power of his mind to attract a new mate.

  48. 70
    Steve Miliband says:

    Tonight Banki, I am going to be Larry Grayson

  49. 72
    Ah! Monika says:

    Say after me ” Wwwwwwwwwwanker “

  50. 74
    Steve Miliband says:

    ..Korea? I thought you said Career.

  51. 75
    pol says:

    Ban ki – “Ha! Success! Bet Tories wish they’d thought of adding superglue to your lip salve!”

  52. 77
    Nobby Nobbler says:

    “Ooh, suit you!”

  53. 79
    Bluebird says:

    Gordon says: “Pick me sir. I wreck your country long time. Only twenty dollar.

  54. 80
    Steve Miliband says:

    The caption contest that should have been……

    Weird, vacant political geek meets…….. Ed Miliband

  55. 83
  56. 84
    Deng Xiao Poofter says:

    Hurro Sairor !

  57. 86
    Steve Miliband says:

    Spanish bonds through the ceiling.

    • 89

      On the upside you can get 1.29 to the euro almost anywhere.

    • 90
      April from the Gents Comfort Room Cubical says:

      No don’t know that one ?

      Can you whistle it & I will try to play along

      with my big pounding Euro Organ…….

      Feel free to lend a hand…….Two are better than one……!!

  58. 92
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Gordon – “Seems like a nice boy”

    • 107
      Hairy ' arry Hollocks from the Jon O'Gouts Party Office Excutive says:

      Thought you just luved New York…..so fcuk off back there quick

      this bit*ch is mine & always will be

  59. 93
    Webwrights says:

    When you were talking about BURMA, I hope you really meant Be Upstairs Ready, My Angel.

    • 102
      Jock the Misunderstood Keltic RentBoy says:

      and add “World Trade Japan Office Verification” but really mean “With the Jar of

      Vaseline” that should help to ease my large caper in quickly……

  60. 95
    Button Moon says:

    Gordon: Hello ducky!

    Premier Wen: You want special orange sauce with that?

  61. 101
    tauntonian says:

    Would you like to swing on a star
    carry moonbeams home in a jar
    and be better off than you are
    or would you rather be a mule?

  62. 104
  63. 105
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    Kiss Me Quick, and I’ll show you how to screw the British!

  64. 106
    Owen Jones says:

    I can be the kiss of death for ANY economy.

  65. 108
    Anthony Blanche says:

    Brown shows off his anus impression that went down so well with Mandy

  66. 109
    Baldy says:

    Wen: “So what can Scotland offer as collateral for such a large loan?”

    Brown: “England.”

  67. 111
    Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

    For some time now I’ve admired how you’ve managed to grow the Chinese economy. You can check with Tony Blair – I was always saying “Wen, Wen, Wen?”.

  68. 112

    Buffty frae Kirkcaldy, “See Mr. Slanty-Eyes Bigot, told you I would pass the UN CRB with flying colours!”

  69. 117
    StrongholdBarricades says:


  70. 118
    Auto Gestion says:

    ‘So Sarah said “No more bum or bust” so it’s been oral ever since.’

  71. 119
    Mike Newman says:

    Hoots man! I’m not Kissinger! Get yourself to Specsavers

    • 129
      QWERTY says:

      Hey Newman, read the rules! Entries must be foul-mouthed filth and personally offensive to the individuals featured in order to qualify.

  72. 120
    Nullbymouth says:

    People say I cant walk and whistle at the same *ouch, WTF just happened*

  73. 121
    Seb (oily impics) coe says:

    Gordon welcomes the Korean javelin champion Hu Flung That with a traditional Scottish greeting

  74. 122
    Gordon Brown says:

    Hello Peking Ducky

  75. 123
    wen bow wow says:

    i see you’re puckering up for me McMental

    and from the use it’s been getting that could’t possibly be your sphincter muscle.

  76. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Shut that door!

  77. 125
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Brown rehearses his Glasgay Kiss.

  78. 126
    Anonymous says:

    The political equivalent of Ian Brady sent to represent us on the world stage.
    Rule Britania and all that bollocks!

  79. 127
    michael says:

    Can’t you wait until kick off Gordon.

  80. 128
    Gordona Browna says:

    I ruv you rong rong time.

  81. 130
    Fuk Yu Tu, says:

    Goron Blown, Tlenty Million Pound in gold or we send Guido the locking horse negatives.

  82. 131
    naughty abdul says:

    Mental Jock: No I am not Larry Grayson, I abolished boom and bust .

  83. 132
    Phil says:

    Inscrutable Asian meets Two faced,superannuated scottish moron with hyper inflated ego and career credentials to match.

  84. 133
    Sid says:

    No Mr Brown, I am not Aung San Suu Kyi, please stop it you are scaring me!

  85. 134
    annette curton says:

    Kirkcaldy, Kirkcaldy, Kirckkcaldy, KIIRKCaldy!

  86. 138
    Mr Ban says:

    Don’t even think about it you smelly old perv…

  87. 140
    Pox News 24/7 says:

    You eat dog, no but I m an olympian at Nokia chucking.

  88. 141

    Brown – “Chase me!”


    Brown – “You remind me of a Bangkok lady-boy of my acquaintance.”


    Brown – “Let’s flounce around.”

  89. 142
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘Aye.I’m a Bullsheetter maself, but, I do like to hear a prroofessional at it. So please continue!!’

  90. 143
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘Give me a wee pecker please.’

  91. 145
    M says:

    Pukka up banki & close your eyes

  92. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Wan Lang Kok meets Hung Lo

    Let the pissing contest begin.

    Oh no I wiz sure they said kissin

  93. 147
    Greychatter says:

    OOOh give us a kiss – will you be my friend like Mandy was??

  94. 148
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    “This is what we in Scotland call a Kirkcaldy Kiss”.

  95. 149
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Perhaps Stalin never left the building. Has he been virtually re-created? After all …. the Murdoch Press said he was Stalin.

  96. 150
    Ivan Agenda says:

    Brown to Wen.
    This is how I suck up to people. Now when can I join your communist party and get my enormous fee for helping you rule / ruin the world?

  97. 151

    Ban -Ki -Moon Meets Wank-y- Loon

    • 162
      Osmo the Magical Gypsy says:

      We’ve already had that. Thanks for playing.

      • 164
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and CODFATHER of SOUL says:

        Some of us have just got in from WORK !

        Cock !

  98. 152

    Gordon Brown “My husband My Wok”

  99. 153

    So Mr Moon I’m looking for a new Korea

    Mr moon Indian food is my Favourite

  100. 154

    So Mitor Blown wat ish your favourite Chinese food ?

    Well actually i’m partial to The Cum of Sum Young Guy

  101. 155
    David Parker says:

    Mine’s bigger than your’s

  102. 158
    Goblin Porridge says:

    - Herro. Wen Jiabao.
    - Helloh! I bow when Bob Diamond tells me to.

  103. 159

    ” You sirry irriot !

  104. 161
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Whatever else we all say about the lack of results of the Caption Comp – that picture of Gordo is a gem. Well done for that – hadn’t seen that pic.

  105. 163
    Osmo the Magical Gypsy (and Jeff his Magical Caravan). says:

    Aye, keep yer hand right there, wee man ! I’m always up fer a tasty Chinese.

  106. 165
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Stop your hanky panky or I may need to borrow your Hanky Ban Ki.

  107. 166
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Honestly, all I have to do is whistle like this and ed balls comes running

  108. 167
    Michael Hill says:


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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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