July 20th, 2012

Friday Caption Competition (Ban Ki Brown UN Envoy Edition)


  1. 1

    “Mr Glayson. I big fan of your show. Shut that door! Velly funnee! “

  2. 2
    Nan Taylor says:

    “And then I sucked Tony’s shit to a point, like this”

  3. 3
    Jesus Christ says:

    “Gordon gives Ban Ki the kiss of death”

  4. 5
    Dave Bruce says:

    I don’t do tongues on the first date mr brown

  5. 7
    Anonymous says:

    Two 52′s, a 69, Egg fried rice, and extra prawn crackers, please.

    Oh, and she’s paying…

    • 114
      Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

      Yes Sir!
      That’ll be 20 billion Euros please. Make the cheque out to Germany, it’ll save time.

  6. 8
    Anoneumouse says:

    Do you want to see some puppies?

  7. 9
  8. 11
    Gordon Brown (Retd.) says:

    Yes, I bought my bride, but she’s not Thai…

  9. 14

    Yes! Yes! Know punchline! Some clunt tlying to whistle?

  10. 15
    Charlie the Chump says:

    I wuv oo wittle chinky winky

  11. 17

    Mr Brown, when you said you had something ‘really big’ to show me, I assumed it was going to be your debts.

  12. 20
    Gonk says:

    “That’s it, just blow and hey presto Roger Whittaker. Well done Mr. Brown.”

  13. 23
    W V M says:

    “Whooo Banki I did a whoopsie on my shift”

  14. 24

    I had to change my name. Now I’m Ban Ki Co-Op

  15. 25
    Gonk says:

    “Oops, don’t tell me you ended up in a broom cupboard too “

  16. 26

    Gordon invites Ban to come naked short selling.

  17. 27
    Ban-ki Wastes all your money at UN says:

    Ah sool..!!.. your not normal like us then!!………Mr Browne

  18. 28
    The Old Brown Co*ck Suc*ker says:

    No …Not here Gordon….I believe we are being watched !!

  19. 29
    Anonymous says:

    Try finding a picture of UN SG Ban ki moon, rather than the Chinese Premier. Or do they all look the same you plonker?

    • 34
      Anonymous says:

      Good spot – but I don’t think it’s him, either?

      • 41
        ToonBob... says:


        chinese premier wen jiabao

        Both very similar in the looks department.

        • 49

          I think anon is right.

          On reflection it does look like Wen Jibao meeting Frankie Howerd.

          • Transgender Barry in a HoC tax payers funded Watering Hole says:

            But Frankie used to wear a real crown topper……

            not some Rent Boys shorn pu*bic hairs

            rewoven in one of Kirkaldy’s many sweat shops……….

          • Sid says:

            Larry Grayson more like – though I’ve no idea who the commier murderer is.

    • 50
      W V M says:

      At first glance I thought it was the Chinese Premier too although with camera the angle it’s hard to tell for sure.

  20. 30

    Is that a Brown Bess musket you have in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?

  21. 31
    Gonk says:

    ” You’re completely right, that new MG is fucking shit “

  22. 32
    olddicky says:

    Mr Brown I not like Peter Mandelson. I only kiss ladees.

    • 100
      Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

      Nobody likes Mandelson, it’s quite disconcerting to look around and see it’s him, I can tell you… and it’s pronounced ladd-ies.

  23. 33
    ToonBob... says:

    Pucker one’s lips to give a blow job to a Korean with a little willie, perhaps?

  24. 35
    Gordon from Outside of the Closet says:

    This is how I pursed my lips when I forced myself to kiss Tony’s
    annal regions…..How about you ??

  25. 36
    Stepney says:

    The clunking kiss that precedes famine, pestilence and disaster.
    (Trad. Malaysian Saying).

  26. 37
    Loungelizard says:

    Brown….Just on my way to Denver, thought I’d take in the new Batman film.

  27. 38
    Philip McArthur says:

    ” Ah Mr Brown, I see you have been sampling the schoolchildren already!”

  28. 39
    ToonBob... says:

    It is easy to confuse ‘em…… this is Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao ??

  29. 40
    Gonk says:

    ” No, I don’t think I’ve ever tried dog”

  30. 42
    Bob"Rough" Diamond says:

    Gord to Ban Ki

    ” You give marvellous hand jobs,sweetie”

  31. 43

    And when do you expect growth to reappear, Mr Blown?

  32. 44
    Anti Fabian says:

    Ban Ki Moon meets Wan Ky Loon

  33. 47
    Where's Lady Ashton when you need her says:

    Mr Who-ever-you-are, I’m thinking of giving up my seat – are you interested?

  34. 48
    I'm not Ban-ki-Moon either says:

    Slorry I’ve heard all about you are a very tight Jock Git, but you have to pay for this rentboy yourself………$dollars or gold bars only……!!

  35. 51
    gildedtumbril says:

    A pair of moons.

  36. 54
    Gordon Brown says:

    You plenty like me suck you off

  37. 55
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Gordon’s wide-mouthed frog joke punchline gets lost in translation.

    (Did you hear the one about Gordon, & 2 trannies, in a car, in Scotland? No? DA-Notice.)

  38. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “A pleasure to meet you, Reverend Moon! My father was a reverend, too!

  39. 57
    Harry Krishna says:

    Do you think this is better than the big gulp I used to do

  40. 58
    Aunty Matter says:

    Gordon has always enjoyed a good Moon.

  41. 59

    Premier Wen: I took my country from a third world, economically stagnant, communist party elite, centrally planned basket case, into possibly the wealthiest nation in the entire world.

    Gordon Brown: That’s a coincidence. I did the exact opposite.

  42. 60
    Bliars (Non) Ethical Spokesperson says:

    These are not just any puckered up Queer’s Lips

    These really are Gordon Browne’s UN Bum..Boy’s only Queer Lips

  43. 61
    Mister E says:

    Kiss Kiss, Ban Ban

  44. 62
    Arthur George Kamya says:

    Oh come off it!!! Aint hard at all to differentiate Ban Ki Moon (Korean) from Wen Jiabang (Chinese PM). And no, I am not Asian. This is definitely PM (Grandpa) Wen. This particular Friday caption is more a pun on Guido and his readers than on GB. Not funny, indicative 0f monumental ignorance. Maybe time to throw in the towel on this one…eh…NeoGuido????

    • 68
      JH says:

      ‘Throwing in the towel’ is clearly an insult to Germans – RACIST! Delete your post immediately, and never raise your head again.

      God, this is easy. I can see why it appeals to lefties.

      • 71
        Sigourney says:

        Gordon thought that his Larry Adler impression would help him with the UN job as he had been told Ban was a big fan but unfortunately his meeting was with the Chinese PM

  45. 63
    Sigourney says:

    Ban was very impressed with Gordon’s Larry Adler impressions

    • 66
      Sigourney says:

      “you do know how to whistle, don’t you ? You put your lips together and blow”

      • 82
        Gordoom Brown says:

        oh I can blow alright.
        I’ve blown billions. I just called it investment.

        • 98
          The English Collective Sad*ism Electors says:

          You would call it Investement you fcuking numskull jock annal reject……

          But we are the stupid fcuking asr*se holes that let you carry on doing it

          to us for 13 fcuking years……..

          and then allow Heir to Bl*iar to carry on doing the same…….

  46. 64
    Maximus says:

    Gt Scotch McBusturd – “So tell me, how high is a Chinaman really?”

  47. 69
    mitch says:

    Gordon attempts to use the power of his mind to attract a new mate.

  48. 70
    Steve Miliband says:

    Tonight Banki, I am going to be Larry Grayson

  49. 72
    Ah! Monika says:

    Say after me ” Wwwwwwwwwwanker “

  50. 74
    Steve Miliband says:

    ..Korea? I thought you said Career.

  51. 75
    pol says:

    Ban ki – “Ha! Success! Bet Tories wish they’d thought of adding superglue to your lip salve!”

  52. 77
    Nobby Nobbler says:

    “Ooh, suit you!”

  53. 79
    Bluebird says:

    Gordon says: “Pick me sir. I wreck your country long time. Only twenty dollar.

  54. 80
    Steve Miliband says:

    The caption contest that should have been……

    Weird, vacant political geek meets…….. Ed Miliband

  55. 83
  56. 84
    Deng Xiao Poofter says:

    Hurro Sairor !

  57. 86
    Steve Miliband says:

    Spanish bonds through the ceiling.

    • 89

      On the upside you can get 1.29 to the euro almost anywhere.

    • 90
      April from the Gents Comfort Room Cubical says:

      No don’t know that one ?

      Can you whistle it & I will try to play along

      with my big pounding Euro Organ…….

      Feel free to lend a hand…….Two are better than one……!!

  58. 92
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    Gordon – “Seems like a nice boy”

    • 107
      Hairy ' arry Hollocks from the Jon O'Gouts Party Office Excutive says:

      Thought you just luved New York…..so fcuk off back there quick

      this bit*ch is mine & always will be

  59. 93
    Webwrights says:

    When you were talking about BURMA, I hope you really meant Be Upstairs Ready, My Angel.

    • 102
      Jock the Misunderstood Keltic RentBoy says:

      and add “World Trade Japan Office Verification” but really mean “With the Jar of

      Vaseline” that should help to ease my large caper in quickly……

  60. 95
    Button Moon says:

    Gordon: Hello ducky!

    Premier Wen: You want special orange sauce with that?

  61. 101
    tauntonian says:

    Would you like to swing on a star
    carry moonbeams home in a jar
    and be better off than you are
    or would you rather be a mule?

  62. 104
  63. 105
    Laughing Out Loud says:

    Kiss Me Quick, and I’ll show you how to screw the British!

  64. 106
    Owen Jones says:

    I can be the kiss of death for ANY economy.

  65. 108
    Anthony Blanche says:

    Brown shows off his anus impression that went down so well with Mandy

  66. 109
    Baldy says:

    Wen: “So what can Scotland offer as collateral for such a large loan?”

    Brown: “England.”

  67. 111
    Gordon 'Smiler' Brown says:

    For some time now I’ve admired how you’ve managed to grow the Chinese economy. You can check with Tony Blair – I was always saying “Wen, Wen, Wen?”.

  68. 112

    Buffty frae Kirkcaldy, “See Mr. Slanty-Eyes Bigot, told you I would pass the UN CRB with flying colours!”

  69. 117
    StrongholdBarricades says:


  70. 118
    Auto Gestion says:

    ‘So Sarah said “No more bum or bust” so it’s been oral ever since.’

  71. 119
    Mike Newman says:

    Hoots man! I’m not Kissinger! Get yourself to Specsavers

    • 129
      QWERTY says:

      Hey Newman, read the rules! Entries must be foul-mouthed filth and personally offensive to the individuals featured in order to qualify.

  72. 120
    Nullbymouth says:

    People say I cant walk and whistle at the same *ouch, WTF just happened*

  73. 121
    Seb (oily impics) coe says:

    Gordon welcomes the Korean javelin champion Hu Flung That with a traditional Scottish greeting

  74. 122
    Gordon Brown says:

    Hello Peking Ducky

  75. 123
    wen bow wow says:

    i see you’re puckering up for me McMental

    and from the use it’s been getting that could’t possibly be your sphincter muscle.

  76. 124
    Anonymous says:

    Shut that door!

  77. 125
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Brown rehearses his Glasgay Kiss.

  78. 126
    Anonymous says:

    The political equivalent of Ian Brady sent to represent us on the world stage.
    Rule Britania and all that bollocks!

  79. 127
    michael says:

    Can’t you wait until kick off Gordon.

  80. 128
    Gordona Browna says:

    I ruv you rong rong time.

  81. 130
    Fuk Yu Tu, says:

    Goron Blown, Tlenty Million Pound in gold or we send Guido the locking horse negatives.

  82. 131
    naughty abdul says:

    Mental Jock: No I am not Larry Grayson, I abolished boom and bust .

  83. 132
    Phil says:

    Inscrutable Asian meets Two faced,superannuated scottish moron with hyper inflated ego and career credentials to match.

  84. 133
    Sid says:

    No Mr Brown, I am not Aung San Suu Kyi, please stop it you are scaring me!

  85. 134
    annette curton says:

    Kirkcaldy, Kirkcaldy, Kirckkcaldy, KIIRKCaldy!

  86. 138
    Mr Ban says:

    Don’t even think about it you smelly old perv…

  87. 140
    Pox News 24/7 says:

    You eat dog, no but I m an olympian at Nokia chucking.

  88. 141

    Brown – “Chase me!”


    Brown – “You remind me of a Bangkok lady-boy of my acquaintance.”


    Brown – “Let’s flounce around.”

  89. 142
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘Aye.I’m a Bullsheetter maself, but, I do like to hear a prroofessional at it. So please continue!!’

  90. 143
    keredybretsa says:

    ‘Give me a wee pecker please.’

  91. 145
    M says:

    Pukka up banki & close your eyes

  92. 146
    Anonymous says:

    Wan Lang Kok meets Hung Lo

    Let the pissing contest begin.

    Oh no I wiz sure they said kissin

  93. 147
    Greychatter says:

    OOOh give us a kiss – will you be my friend like Mandy was??

  94. 148
    Fitbad the Tailor says:

    “This is what we in Scotland call a Kirkcaldy Kiss”.

  95. 149
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Perhaps Stalin never left the building. Has he been virtually re-created? After all …. the Murdoch Press said he was Stalin.

  96. 150
    Ivan Agenda says:

    Brown to Wen.
    This is how I suck up to people. Now when can I join your communist party and get my enormous fee for helping you rule / ruin the world?

  97. 151

    Ban -Ki -Moon Meets Wank-y- Loon

    • 162
      Osmo the Magical Gypsy says:

      We’ve already had that. Thanks for playing.

      • 164
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD and CODFATHER of SOUL says:

        Some of us have just got in from WORK !

        Cock !

  98. 152

    Gordon Brown “My husband My Wok”

  99. 153

    So Mr Moon I’m looking for a new Korea

    Mr moon Indian food is my Favourite

  100. 154

    So Mitor Blown wat ish your favourite Chinese food ?

    Well actually i’m partial to The Cum of Sum Young Guy

  101. 155
    David Parker says:

    Mine’s bigger than your’s

  102. 158
    Goblin Porridge says:

    - Herro. Wen Jiabao.
    - Helloh! I bow when Bob Diamond tells me to.

  103. 159

    ” You sirry irriot !

  104. 161
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Whatever else we all say about the lack of results of the Caption Comp – that picture of Gordo is a gem. Well done for that – hadn’t seen that pic.

  105. 163
    Osmo the Magical Gypsy (and Jeff his Magical Caravan). says:

    Aye, keep yer hand right there, wee man ! I’m always up fer a tasty Chinese.

  106. 165
    The Dirty Rat says:

    Stop your hanky panky or I may need to borrow your Hanky Ban Ki.

  107. 166
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Honestly, all I have to do is whistle like this and ed balls comes running

  108. 167
    Michael Hill says:


Seen Elsewhere

Labour’s Plan to Attack Part-Time Boris | Standard
Ex-Sun Hack Cleared After 582 Days on Bail | MediaGuido
11 Times Boris Denied He Would Stand for Parliament | Buzzfeed
Attacking UKIP’s Posters is Counter-Productive | Guardian
Sarkozy Tried it on With Hollande’s Ex | Times
Another Spare Room Subsidy Cut Success | Harry Phibbs
Rich Now Have Less Leisure Than Poor | Economist
UKIP’s Immigration Policy Promotes Migrant Entrepreneurs | Breitbart
Another Feminist Lecture | Laura Perrins
UKIP Posters Bad Economics But Good Politics | James Delingpole
Tories Losing to UKIP in Scotland | ConHome

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

A confused Nick Griffin says Nigel Farage is a shill for the City, forgetting that City banks want to stay in the EU:

“Farage is a snake oil salesman, but a very good one. His supposed anti-immigration stance is all smoke and mirrors, as is his carefully cultivated image as a ‘man of the people’. The truth is that UKIP is a pro-immigration party that exists to lobby for the interests of the City of London.”

Alexrod says:

It’s money innit.

Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:


AddThis Feed Button

Guido Reads