They love their graphic visualisation over at the Guardian, but here’s one you won’t find there:

From @GazTheJourno

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Guido was the first to bring you the rumours that Nigel Farage could be standing in a potential by-election in Chris Huhne’s seat, while it was an especially bad week for Ken Livingstone, the Guardian and Number 10. Don’t miss out on the latest from the bubble before they disappear to sunnier climes…

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, free, to keep in the loop. You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

A new regular feature…

…only over at Media Guido.

In the blue corner Milo of the Kernel Mag. In the bed corner sex blogger Zoe Margolis, of Girl With a One Track Mind fame:

@girlonetrack We write about how tech is changing the world around us. You write about how many cocks you've sucked this week. Back off.—
Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) July 18, 2012

But Clerkenwell’s tech-bitch wasn’t done there:

Is there a difference between writing about sex for money and having sex for money? Not really. What a grubby, humiliating way to make rent.—
Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) July 18, 2012

Oh, and a special message to a certain @Nero: You know I sued a national newspaper for libel, and won, right? Don't fuck with sexbloggers.—
Zoe Margolis (@girlonetrack) July 19, 2012

Not sure what there is to sue about?

Cue one hell of a Twitter-storm, an attempted advertising boycott and much laughter all round.

Despite much excitement in the Guardian this morning, the campaign to bring down the Corporation of London from the inside has not got off to a very good start for “freelance community organiser” Bryn Phillips. This former Occupy St Paul’s spokesman and close ally of Maurice Glasman is planning on standing in the upcoming by-election for the City of London Corporation council seat of Farringdon Within. However, his violent past has caught up with him…

Phillips was arrested during the riots in Hackney last summer for throwing a missile at the police. Wood Green Crown Court have confirmed that he was convicted for violent disorder and burglary and is awaiting sentence. Despite his best efforts to spin the Guardian this morning, (they claim “the case will be heard later this month”) Case S20120099 actually happened back in March. Guilty M’Lord…

In order to stand in the elections Phillips had to be awarded the Freedom of the City, something he only achieved on July 2. On the application form all previous convictions must be stated. Guido understands violent disorder and burglary would automatically rule you out from receiving the honour, and Corporation sources are adamant that a declaration of such would have triggered further investigation. It did not. Instead it is becoming increasingly likely that Phillips has voided any chance of standing in the election due to the fact he has failed to declare his convictions. Just because he has not been sentenced yet, does not mean his conviction does not stand.

Guido was ready to put these allegations to Phillips at his press conference this morning but the violent, rioting thug did not turn up for at least an hour after apparent start time. Which is just as well as given that Guildhall security had sealed off the venue and would not let anyone in…

Gordon Brown has refused invitation to Olympic ceremony. Bless him. Team UK has a fighting chance now #CurseOfJonahBrown—
Fraser Nelson (@frasernelson) July 19, 2012

There was some great news for Team GB this morning.

Perhaps this will be a turning point for the Olympics…

Dave is under fire from yet another source this morning after an embarrassing gaffe gave false hope to Scottish coastguards facing the chop. Responding to a constituent concerned about the closure of coastguard stations north of the border, Cameron pledged that they would remain open until 2015 in order to ease the transition process:

Delighted campaigners had to pop the corks back in their champagne bottles however, as Dave’s office quickly issued a clarification saying that they would in fact be shut down immediately. Oops.

The whole mess has caused severe ructions in the Parliamentary Resources Unit, the Tories’ taxpayer-funded research facility. Guido hears that the offending letter was actually penned on Cameron’s behalf by the PRU’s deputy director Mark Wilkins. Amusingly Wilkins was in the running for Parliamentary Researcher of the Year 2012, apparently: “For his briefings and draft letters, Mark has made the extra effort to source the best evidence and opinions from experts to garner the official view“. Given that Number 10 are furious he can probably kiss that award goodbye…

New Statesman editor Jason Cowley twists the knife into the Guardian:

“I could get 4 million users a day if we were losing £40m a year and had 650 journalists.”

Dave might be floundering on Europe this morning but one of his potential successors is on top form. When asked by a Tory MP to account for Tim Shipman’s O-levels scoop last month, Michael Gove responded in a typically cutting fashion: “I have come to the conclusion that leaks appear to be part of political life“. Guido finds that the stories drip out a lot more regularly when the party’s poll ratings are on the slide…

Via LabourList.

In a move that is sure to firm up the Prime Minister’s increasingly grim position in the eyes of his backbenchers and party, Dave has ruled out ever campaigning for the UK to leave the EU. Discussing an in/out referendum with the Telegraph he claims:

“I think it would be bad for Britain. When I look at what is in our national interest, we are not some country that looks in on ourself or retreats from the world. Britain’s interest – trading a vast share of our GDP – is to be in those markets. Not just buying, selling, investing, receiving investment but also helping to write the rules. If we were outside, we wouldn’t be able to do that.

It comes back to this, who are going to be the winning nations for the 21st century? If your vision of Britain was that we should just withdraw and become a sort of greater Switzerland, I think that would be a complete denial of our national interests.”

He has to make the right noises for now, but there was no reason to be quite so dismissive. Unless of course he was talking from the heart for once. What happens if his treasured renegotiation plan is rejected by other countries?