Thieving Politicians at the Heart of Downing Street
From: Government Whips Admin Unit (HOC)
Sent: 18 July 2012 15:28
Subject: Message from the Whips OfficeDear Colleagues,
Further to my original message last week, I would like to give another appeal to any colleague who may have accidentally taken a gents black umbrella from No 10 after the PM’s drinks reception. It would be greatly appreciated if you could please return it to the Government Whips Admin Unit or call on ext: 4333 in the House.
Many thanks
Claire
Claire Scott
Head of Parliamentary Support
Government Whips Office
House of Commons
If the House was sitting Labour would have an Urgent Question tabled by now…
Hang em!
You can get a half decent black folding Brolly from poundland. There’s no need to go to the trouble of burgling Dave’s house.
He doesn’t seem to have surrounded himself with the brightest of minders though. One Brolly, one daughter and a good reputation all gone missaing recently.
Keeping in practice for ballot boxes.
You don’t say there is a tea leaf among all those Conservative chappies, bad form, I could understand it if was outside with all those pleby types walking past, but in No.10, what are things coming to.
It’s a job for Batman; top suspects living locally must be the Joker or the Fiddler
is it a national appeal now.
brolly gone missing.
.
suppose it’s a collector’s item.
Who’s was it anyway, bet they would make less fuss if they had left it in a taxi.
Wacist
Sexist
these people are suppose to represente there people like but what do they do they dont do nothin and now there stealin umbrellass
Now post that again, but with the correct spelling, punctuation and grammar this time. You might make sense.
+1
He’s trying his best might be one of your fellow inmates
have to call in the umbrella plod, no doubt will have 40 plods working on it ready to report to leveson
You f’ucking twat
Another faultless fourteen words of editorial.
Unlike two pages ago.
Are umbrellas not covered by expenses? Buy another one with a tracker and move on.
they could put in a claim, about £14000 should cover it
why not give the umbrellas to athletes for the olympics they can keep thereselves dry from the rain not mp scum
Owain’s back with a vengeance
Look I only nipped out for a fag, the bloody thing was already broken honest
http://beelay.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/clegg-umbrella.jpg
I demand a judge-led inquiry in to this disgraceful act, the public won`t understand the Prime minster trying to brush this under the carpet.
It just goes to show how out of touch he is.
What we need is a light touch regulater to monitor this. We can call it Check Umbrella’s Not Taken Service
….and the 8000 email addresses hidden inside, please.
Would believe that light fingered opportunists could be at the very heart of my administration
No wonder the Public have very little confidence in their Political Ruling Class !!
I going to appoint a Judge lead full enquiry team to find the real reasons why this happened & what can be learnt for the future to ensure when it happens again
no one, not even you Guido will be able to find out……
CCTV picks up possible culprit and his female accomplice
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2163370/David-Cameron-shelters-Aung-Suu-Kyi-summer-shower-broken-brolly.html
And for a change it would be an urgent question that RedEd could understand.
Give up Claire – probably on ebay over the w/e and gone by now.
This is how low we have sunk as a country. Is there no honour among thieves anymore?
Thieves never, ever stole from each other in my day.
Whoever you are, return the umbrella and restore some honour to your noble profession.
Do you think it was taken by the secret service to check it was not one of those unbrellas that fire tiny platinum poison pellets or had a secret microphone and camera built in it.
Maybe, perhaps that guy who hangs out with teenage Russian spies was there.
Handyman or something.
What a para-rsehole.
I believe a full public enquiry should be opened, lasting months and costing millions, to discover exactly who was a party to the missing umbrella cover up.
You sure you want it back?
Oi Dave, you left it here with your daughter!
Good job it wasn’t a black gents umbrella, nuther public enquiry.
Umbrella retrieval under this government is a shambles.
ominshambles, ha, if they can’t find a brollie, what hope is there for the rest of us. think this statement goes too far. but what the heck. ha.
It’s half-way round the world by now. We had a devil of a job.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/s/ref=sr_nr_seeall_1?rh=k%3Aant+and+bee+umbrella%2Ci%3Astripbooks&keywords=ant+and+bee+umbrella&ie=UTF8&qid=1342624408
What’s the big deal, you can claim for as many umbrellas as you like on expenses, the trauma of losing and old friend must weigh heavy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ObVG9o2xWI
Whatever happened to that old maxim ” tough on the causes of crime”
Oh, of course, politicians are the criminals, albeit trying very hard at the moment to deflect onto either media moguls or bankers.
@Allegro Stratton will be covering this on tonight’s programme.
Our in-depth analysis will ask Teresa May if she intends to resign following this apparent theft. @Owen Jones (#shouty) will be examining the class issues that emerge from the use of brollies. Security expert, @Ken Livingstone will be showing how it is possible for umbrellas to fit into a sandwich box.
Don’t even think about rattling my cage, i’m asleep as usual. (while the salary keeps rolling into my bank account)
This wouldn’t be one of those Cold War-era Bulgarian-type umbrellas, would it? Hence Number Ten getting involved?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georgi_Markov
Umbrellas are lethal.
SNAP !!
TRHat would be Louise ‘Fatgirl’ Casey I think.
Seen elsewhere.
Members notice board
House of Commons.
FOR SALE
One gents black umbrella with silver grip handle.
Slightly used.
Any reasonable offer accepted.
Contact Keith Vaz.
+25
offer for what the Umbrella or That Slim Bag Vaz……..
Please clarify ……………..
btw although Slimy Vaz can effortlessly slide across floors
he still cannot Walk on Water like is idol St.Tony Bliar
Wonder Why……
New Met Police Commander for Downing Street Security demanded as a person by name of K. VAZ was able to easily slip under the very tight cordon around area & then into No.10 before leaving by the back door, its not known if anything was taken.
G*S would not comment on rumours they will be taking over Downing St security after the Olympics
Will the person who’s just borrowed ‘you know who’s’ personal PAYG mobile please kindly return it asap there are urgent CN texts messages awaiting reply….
Thanks
It’s called ‘practical socialism’ (see P.G. Wodehouse ‘Leave it to Psmith’ – arguably the best book ever written).
So who left pissed with an umbrella?
It weren’t me I was on the beach, I think, well it was sandy wher i was but it was along way to the sea
P S While your at it could you please return the millions of pounds of taxpayers money you have all been stealing for years ?
You thieving fuckers !
Don’t be silly Frankie, you should know it’s their right to do so, because they are worth it (in their own opinion)
Its just been invested in useless aircraft carriers in my constituency
and I am buying a lottery ticket next week