July 18th, 2012

Red Ken’s Future Terror Career

Ken’s promise to quit politics may well have been just another lie, but judging by his performance on Newsnight last night Guido has a new suggestion for his next career move: counter-terrorism. After revealing his expertise on lone psychopaths, scaremongering Ken told Kirsty: “you don’t catch Al-Qaeda by looking through their lunchbox“. With insight like that Livingstone could surely be an adviser for G4S…


106 Comments

  1. 1
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Hello ! anyone home ?

  2. 2
    Ken LyingScum says:

    Only jokin Kirtsy – but you can look thro my lunch box if yer like NahNahNah!!

  3. 3
    concrete pump says:

    Fuck off Ken, you were finished years ago.

    Venezuela is nice this time of year…..

  4. 4
    Ken LyingScum says:

    Oi !! where ‘of’ I gorn ????

  5. 5

    Under a blood red loon.

  6. 6
    K2 says:

    Has he released his accounts yet?

  7. 7
    Perry says:

    May seem facile but he is right. Sometimes people have to say the obvious for us to start the debate.

  8. 8
    Spartacus says:

    Yes.

    Be afraid.

    Be very afraid.

    (Public notice broadcast)

  9. 9
    Justin Sane says:

    He could be John Reid’s intern

  10. 10
    Nullbymouth says:

    Yeah right. Once this gets out Al-Qaeda will be putting their bombs in lunch boxes.

    Way to go Ken

  11. 11
    Nullbymouth says:

    Has he been CRB checked?

  12. 12
    Sandra in Accounts says:

    Ken, I am available to sort out your accounts to ready them for public consumption.

    Like you promised to do.

  13. 13
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Well stated, Captain Obvious!

  14. 14
    Ken says:

    Sandra many thanks. Before I consider your kind offer, I just have one question.

    Do you understand the term ‘Moral Hazard’?

  15. 15
    Peter Kropotkin calling Pliny the Welder says:

    Hey Plin – with you on the Units of exchnage! Sorry to be dense.

    Now, – what will you give me for one Red Ken disappearnce?

  16. 16
    ooops says:

    the underpants bomber ?

  17. 17
    Sandra's Mother says:

    Yes she does ! – and I’ve told her to ALWAYS keep her legs firmly crossed!

  18. 18
    SP4BS says:

    If he’s saying that, he’s saying that all security checks in airports are pointless too.

  19. 19
    Ah! Monika says:

    Has anyone ever opened a Tetrapak? Forget an unburied missus, fraud more like.

  20. 20
    Nullbymouth says:

    There is probably plenty of truth in that

  21. 21
    Ken says:

    What I said was ‘you don’t catch hypocrites by looking through their accounts’

  22. 22
    Baroness Warsi says:

    That could explain why Ken wants to turn London into a beacon of Islam – it’s so much easier to nuke the terrorists when they live on your doorstep.

  23. 23
    Db says:

    London.s to ken terrorist has spoo ken again

  24. 24
    Ken says:

    PS err you’re not in HMRC accounts by any chance?

  25. 25
    Mad nads says:

  26. 26
    two bags says:

    whats she wearing for Razzle?

  27. 27
    Steve Miliband says:

    Pity Paxo wasn’t on duty, they could have compared notes on tax avoidance

  28. 28
    Loungelizard says:

    If Ken wants a job in security I understand G4S are looking for staff.

  29. 29
    Ah! Monika says:

    I’ll get your coat.

  30. 30
    Aaron D Highside says:

    Go Nads!

  31. 31
    Ah! Monika says:

    @19

  32. 32
    Perry says:

    I agree. Terrorists surely will look to more sophisticated methods

  33. 33
    Aaron D Highside says:

    ….just south of Ilford, just west of Dagenham

  34. 34
    a good memory says:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2002/08/02/world/booby-trapped-lunch-box-kills-a-worker-in-northern-ireland.html

    Booby-Trapped Lunch Box Kills a Worker in Northern Ireland
    By BRIAN LAVERY
    Published: August 02, 2002
    SIGN IN TO E-MAIL
    PRINT

    A construction worker at a disused British Army base in Londonderry, Northern Ireland, died this morning after picking up a bomb disguised as a lunch box.

    Ken ought to know better. Wasnt he a good friend of Adams?

  35. 35
    Ah! Monika says:

    You’ve not been on Telly lately. JobCentre Plus ?

  36. 36
    Steve Miliband says:

    To transfer a small amount of dosh overseas you have to jump through hoops – verified passport, inside leg measurement etc.

    To transfer billions overseas it appears you just need to pay the big fat juicy fees to the ‘worlds local bank’

  37. 37
    Ah! Monika says:

    +1

  38. 38
    a non says:

    Ken confuses al dente with al Qaeda.

  39. 39
    erm... says:

    The old AlQ is a has been. unhappy ppl are just that…unhappy.
    I would offer them a Boris Bike….and then a Boris Milkshake….and then a Boris Hug?
    .
    flippin Boris. what a brand.

  40. 40
    Shit-hole Britain says:

    Or Birmingham.

    or Bradford. Or Tower Hamlets.

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Hungarian prosecutors say they have taken into custody Nazi-era war crimes suspect – @AP

    Is Balls in Hungary today?

  42. 42
    Anonymous says:

    Ken kept looking at Kirsty’s cellulite ( skirt pulled up to navel )

  43. 43
    erm... says:

    my sentiment too. i was thinking more like John Reid’s replacement though. I wonder whether John Reid thinks that the nation is not ft-for-purpose. pompous prat.

  44. 44
    Pointless security causes pointless headaches. says:

    Well for once I agree with Ken. The amount of petty security is just ridiculous.

  45. 45
    Gordon Brown says:

    Hey soulja boy! Me so horny! Me love you long time! Ten dorra sucky sucky!

  46. 46
    Ploppy Toybee says:

    It’s nice and sunny here by the poolside of my Tuscan villa. I do hope the rain isn’t too bad back home. I wish I could be there to keep up the good fight but I didn’t want to be around all the crowds and chaos of the Olympics. And I didn’t want to endure the hassle of the strikes that my union comrades are justifiably planning. But believe me when I say you’ll be in my thoughts as I’m served champagne by my maid at one of my dinner parties.

  47. 47
    Aunty Matter says:

    It was lefty c u n t z like Livingstone who let these bearded mongs into the Country in the first place.

  48. 48
    A Red with style says:

    N Korea’s Kim Promotes Himself To Army Chief

  49. 49
    Aunty Matter says:

    You should have seen them trying to avoid the Daily Mail headline on their paper review the other night.

  50. 50
    Labour awarded hundreds of contracts to G4S and John Reid is adviser to them says:

    G4S are such a fucking joke, they’ve most likely hired a bunch of bearded ragheads to be their security guards.

  51. 51
    erm... says:

    interesting that all the has been politicians are focussed on security.
    attention seekers. sorry Mr BLiar.
    .
    .
    There is such a thing as shutting you mouth and getting on with the job. Obama quite good at that.

  52. 52
    Peter the Painter says:

    I agree with him too. I expect he worries about being attacke dquite lot. There must be loads of people with grudges against a guy like that.

  53. 53
    20,000 sacked British troops says:

    Just because One-Term Dave’s sacked us doesn’t mean we’re desperate for cash, yet.

  54. 54
    Big Momma says:

    Who on earth would believe that Red Ken is an expert in terrorism?
    The closest he has been to it is in the London bombings and Venezuela.
    Like all lefties he is an expert in nothing but spouts masterful garbage on all subjects all the time.
    Loved this morning’s BBC Toady Programme when they stated that Buckle at his next hearing should heed the words of the company song and lead from the front. They then complained that they (BBC) needed a company song. How ignorant of them to not realise that The Red Flag has been their song for over 20 years. Humphries needs to be re-educated.

  55. 55
    Aunty Matter says:

    I think Nads is quite fit actually, I’d rather see her in the buff than Krusty Wark.

  56. 56
    Gordon Brown says:

    I woke up this morning feeling good about myself and the world in general.

    Suddenly …

  57. 57
    Aunty Matter says:

    1. If Labour hadn’t gone around bombing every fucking mud hut in the middle east we wouldn’t have these bearded fuckwits so fired up.

    2. If Labour had controlled immigration them we wouldn’t have had 100,000 bearded fuckwits move to London to call for Jihad.

  58. 58
    The utterly useless Theresa May says:

    Don’t worry – I’ve been monitoring the situation very closely over the last 2+ years and I can assure you that everything’s met with my approval and nothing is going to go wrong.

  59. 59
    Man with Red Hot Poker says:

    Still waiting Gordo – you wanna make me happy? – bend over that table

  60. 60
    Clegg, Hughes, Cable & Associates says:

    How dare you insinuate that Lib Dem politicians and activists are to be employed as G4S security guards at the Olympics.

  61. 61
    The 2011 Census says:

    100,000 may be an under-estimate.

  62. 62
    Sandra's Muvva says:

    I’ve told you before! – I’ve brought her up to be a good girl I have!

  63. 63
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Ken, how about becoming a taxman?
    Or don’t you believe in tax?

  64. 64
    One-Term Dave's School of Goalpost-moving says:

    Yeah, Labour’s record on immigration was awful.

    Immigration’s only gone up on my watch because, uhm, errr.. they’re not ‘immigrants’, they’re ‘students’.

  65. 65
    Red Lyingscum says:

    Hey Kurtsy – wanna check my lunch box?

  66. 66
    Chris Huhne says:

    Not likely. But we may send our wives.

  67. 67
    Chubby says:

    It is. People are making big bucks out of dreaming up ways to blow up planes then selling a machine that will prevent it.

    But in the case of the Olympics a smally explosion designed to puncture a plane’s skin is going to have little effect in an open environment.

    The reality is that the security industry is onto a winner. If they win they win and if they lose then they can expect even bigger winnings.

    Have to agree with Ken on this. The Olympic security is way OTT in the wrong areas.

  68. 68
    By Passer says:

    I bet he worked hard for that!

  69. 69
    By Passer says:

    Do you mean immigration or impregnation (following immigration) – or both? I think we should be told.

  70. 70
    LibLabCon's beloved Immigrant Comm-hoon-inty says:

    Please be noting, ‘work’ is demeaning to us. We are claimings all benefits. We are all hatings your country. We contributes nothings. You go to work now. You being give us benefits.

  71. 71
    The populace of the destroyed country formerly known as England says:

    Talking of the labour publicity machine, aka the bbc, their opening item is jobless figures have fallen, sotto voce of course, then a long time spent communing with Liam Byrne, aka Gollum, about how vile and awful and wrong, wrong, wrong is everything the Coalition is doing.

    Every broadcasting moment is spent promoting Labour -

  72. 72
    John Ward says:

    We already have a terror consultant on the Board of Locog.
    His name is Mohammed Bari, and he runs the East London Mosque of continuing infamy.
    Two years ago he called Britain a Nazi State.
    He defends bomber Babar Ahmad.
    He is against women taking part in sport.
    And he uses Muslim Aid as a front charity to supply Hamas and all things Jihadist.
    WTF is he doing on the Board of the Games Organising group? What can he contribute beyond a massive security risk? Why won’t the MSM touch this story?

    http://hat4uk.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/shambolympics-why-is-the-boss-of-the-east-london-mosque-on-the-management-board-of-locog/

  73. 73
    I Hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

    You’re a pervert as well as a fucking idiot, Anonymous.

  74. 74
    The populace of the destroyed country formerly known as England says:

    You have left off several noughts in your figure.

  75. 75
    W V M says:

    How fucking thick and blind to the obvious can a government get?

  76. 76
    Fish says:

    ‘Pity Paxo wasn’t on duty, they could have compared notes on tax avoidance’

    I wouldn’t worry too much. Krusty probably gave him an introduction to her accountant.

  77. 77
    What's Left? Nothing much says:

    Of course, BBC Trot in Chief Newsnight Showcase interviews twice loser Red Ken for his opinion….as you do.

    Oh and Ken’s mate Chavez has just been condemned by Human Rights Watch….no mention there on TrotsNews……why am I not surprised?

  78. 78
    Anthony Blanche says:

    Well his nation Scotland may be, having seen a selection of the bi-sexual drug addicted neo-Presbyterian rough boys who pass for an elite there only on Monday as part of my Grand Tour of your once Great Britain. The Scots once had a noble role to play within the Greater Britain alas along with the core national values you once held these have gone. Now only money and ego stalk you land and some very sinister people within your elite. The ‘people’ seem to have been left in a base state of greed, anger and bewilderment in equal amounts.

    As I say I am just a degenerate old Dago catching up from 30 years absence from your lands before I seek my final Absolution so please do not be offended by what I say. I did and still do love this once wonderful and bizarre land but I fear I’ve seen its best and the beginning of its end. I was in the Lady Chapel of Southwell Minster this morning and said a prayer for your nation, it was very sad.

  79. 79
    Desperate Dan says:

    Like all believers in Left wing politics, Ken “When I was Mayor” Livingstone is a manic depressive. Nothing he says has connection to the real world.

  80. 80
    ooops says:

    Muslim women running the 4x400relay in the burka would be funny

  81. 81
    BBC DG's Empire Spokesperson says:

    Disgraceful , that Comrade Pollelski of Tuscany only has ONE Maid to serve her

    Vintage ’58 Bollinger. This must be some type of devious plan cooked up by the

    nasty party but it will not be allowed to continue, after a long 2 minute BBC

    DisTrust Board meeting we have decided on the following plan of action

    The BBC will send a fully staffed HD OB to her Villa to allow her vast considerable

    Left Wing Biased bile is available LIVE 24/7 for the duration.

    Included with the BBC HD OB Techies crew a full compliment of Maids, Footmen,

    Butler,House Keeper,Cooks,Gardeners,& Chauffeurs……to ensure the correct

    standard we expect & we need at Tuscany Abbey.

    This is a very good use of Licence Payers Money & these funds will be channelled

    via one of our Off Shore companies

  82. 82
    Beeb spokesperson says:

    Warm fraternal greetings & congratulations have been sent by the Chairman of the BBC Distrust on this well deserved long over due elevation to his status

  83. 83
    Illegal Visitor don't speak english sponsered by Red Ken's Fan Club says:

    How did you guess ……….

  84. 84
    Plastic jock says:

    +100

  85. 85
    Beeb spokesperson says:

    Well done, you are very quick to discover what is our Real Mission, hidden in our Charter & has been the 3rd way for last 30 years…….

  86. 86
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    Come on, everyone loves Ken. So much so I’m starting a whip-round to send him on a cruise.

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Hate to say it, but he’s right about this. Security theater gets us nowhere, it just raises the barrier to entry (which is helpful, but not a panacea).

    We’re just lucky that most terrorists are incredibly stupid.

  88. 88
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    And all believers in right wing politics are paranoid schizophrenics, so we’re well and truly f*cked, are we not?

  89. 89
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    As would Abu Hamza in the table tennis.

  90. 90
    Devil Eyes unofficial Spokesperson says:

    You received a personal command from on high by His Holiness St.Tony

    and stated

    Dear McMental

    “Go Forth & Multiply = Fcuk Off I’m back”

    affectionately yours

    Saint Tony of bulging bank accounts

  91. 91
    Grrr says:

    >you don’t catch Al-Qaeda by looking through their lunchbox

    Because you’ll find copy of the Socialist Worker and Ken for Mayor badge?

  92. 92
    CMD,Heir to Bliar Spokesperson says:

    These type of talents we really go out of our way to excel in, just look how we
    carefully released the 2011 Census results, there are just over 56million
    people here although the 25 million people who did not return there forms
    of course have not been included

  93. 93
    Neddie says:

    I have a ticket to the high jump in a binbag!

  94. 94
    Gordon Fcuking.McMental says:

    Did someone mention a “Whip Round”

    although my other half is getting a little doubtful about

    my explanations for the end result,

    It makes my day more pleasurable…….

  95. 95
    Aunty Matter says:

    That 25 million is just from one flat in Tower Hamlets as well.

  96. 96
    Penfold says:

    “”””””””After revealing his expertise on lone psychopaths, “””””””””””

    Takes one to know one………….

  97. 97
    The Spirit of Osama says:

    Well I’m not…..I’ve have floated all of the way to Londonistan for the circa
    1415 Olympics but can’t find anywhere to berth because of all these Ruskie Super Yachts blocking the Thames……seems to be a lot of Afghanistan’s Only export product everywhere here though……pleased about that…..

  98. 98
    Gordon Fcuking.McMental's Bedtime Loony Left Teddy says:

    And then there’s me………nutty as a fruit cake……I really enjoy

    hugging myself all day long especially when I strapped in…..

  99. 99
    CMD,Heir to Bliar Spokesperson says:

    Thats very sensitive information & we decided, after long consultations with Tony, not to include as it may give the impression that we really don’t a clue at all what is happening in my country

  100. 100
    Desperate Dan says:

    Name one.

  101. 101
    Anonymous says:

    A lot of them are pointless. What’s the point in bolting the door if someone can climb in through the window?

  102. 102
    British Wanker Bankers Spokesperson says:

    We would like to advise The South Koreans Financial Regulator has launched an official investigation into interest rate fixing of their CD’s Certificates of Deposit.

    We hope this will dispel the Left Wing Biased News Reporting that we are doing
    fcuk all to help export the UK out of this long reccession, which started in May 1997 & went on until May 2010.

    We’ve been celebrating for the last 2+ years & hope to return to the office at some point in the future once we have sobered up & got over our hang over.

    We will of course keep up updated on other BWB scams as when they are discovered by our regulator (friends) around the world.

  103. 103
    erm... says:

    holistically……the country is very grounded.
    jubilee celebrations. acceptance of andy murray, status of Bliar as a pariah.
    .
    .
    sentiment.language.voice.
    getting on with it.
    not bad.
    not bad at all.

  104. 104
    The Red Channel says:

    Didn’t the Scottish harridan Wark make a pile of money through some BBC set up? Socialists unite, you have nothing to lose but your bonuses!

  105. 105
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    I can’t stand men with beards anymore.

  106. 106
    Katz says:

    Jeez, what a half-wit. It’s amazing that he didn’t recommend something truly stupid like rooftop missiles.

    … oh, wait …


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers