July 18th, 2012

Gordon Brown In Shock Sedition Trial

Guido got his hopes up when he saw that Gordon Brown would be appearing in the dock in a Kuala Lumpur court, but sadly the Prime Mentalist will only be a witness rather than a suspect. According to Malaysian newspaper The Sun Daily, Gordon has been summoned by the defence in a bizarre sedition trial halfway across the planet. At least that gives him another chance to rack up some more air miles…


  1. 1
    Chav says:

    Gordon should be in jail or hangin from lampost


    • 11
      Expat Geordie says:

      Pity the poor defendant if they are having to rely upon Gormless Gordon, aka Jonah. They can probably already set the date of their own trip to the gallows.


      • 57
        Expat Geordie says:

        Sorry, but when I saw the words “Gordon Brown” and “sedition”, well, I couldn’t resist looking up the fourth verse:

        Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
        May by thy mighty aid,
        Victory bring.
        May he sedition hush,
        and like a torrent rush,
        Rebellious Scots to crush,
        God save the King.


    • 12
      An Outraged reader! says:

      I must protest Mr Fawkes!

      A very serious crime has been committed, someone in your office has posted a blog about Gordon without attaching a “twat watch” tag!

      I hope for full and in-depth inquiry into shambles and the responsible intern sacked!


      • 45
        Great British Public says:

        Let’s hope Gordooooom is treated with similar respect…..


        • 50
          Gordon Brown says:

          I was very annoyed that the people of Britain were not more grateful.

          I had to go and walk on Obama beach to calm down.

          They declared war on me that day. I swear I will destroy them.


          • Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

            I and my boys are grateful Gordon. As long as the asylum seekers keep coming form the Home Office, we will keep sending you your cheque, even though your are not in power any more. After all, it was your idea in the first place. Boaz.


    • 38
      Expensive Expenses says:

      How come politicians get charged air fares in the 10s of thousands that I get charged in the hundred and the hotels charge them more over one night than they charge me for a fortnight on full board?

      Would expenses have something to do with it? Surely Gordon is a frugal man and would never expect the public to provide him with anything more than basic.


      • 48
        Sir William Waad says:

        Don’t forgot Gordon has to take his therapist, two nurses, his praise-singer and a bottom-wiper.


      • 52
        Tony B Liar says:

        You are all being extremely rude and nasty to this much lauded man, Gridiron Brown I do believe you are all bigots!


    • 96
      st fm says:

      Chav by name Chave by nature..
      If you wer challenged n the reality of a face by face debate would you bhe so brazen? I think not i think you are a poorly educated fwit who likes mouthing off!


    • 113
      st fm says:

      Chav by name!


  2. 2

    Hello it’s me again


  3. 3
    Whilst jetting around the planet, Gordon Brown says:

    “It is essential that we create a low-carbon economy.”


  4. 4

    Breaking news Customs and immigration staff have voted to strike , over jobs, pay , conditions etc

    we find out tomorrow what and when
    looks like someone else is looking for a bonus


  5. 5
    I love the FT says:

    Imagine being trapped on a plane to Africa with Brown in the next seat.

    Do BA provide a special cage for him? Is he shipped cargo in his own special box? Do they carry extra restraints in case of a bout of Nokia madness?

    Personally I would rather travel with a corpse in the next seat. It would be quieter and there would be more room


  6. 6
    I love the FT says:

    And the Home Office going on strike too …on a ballot turnout of 20%. Democracy in action


  7. 9
    Nick 'cunt' Buckles says:

    I deserve to be up in court charged with serial breaches of contract and complete misrepresentation.


    • 27
      JOHN REID (not a shot will be fired in Afghanistan) says:

      Make sure you sign my cheque before you resign , wanker


  8. 14
    Bumiputra says:

    It shall be fascinating seeing him treated as a credible witness.


  9. 16
    Vazoline says:

    With all my connections abroad, I could grease a few palms and get him out of it.


  10. 18
    Bolshevik Broadcasting Corpse says:

    Don’t you have to be of sound mind to be a witness?


  11. 21
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    I noticed the man of Straw came out of hiding to show his face in the HOC, just before the reccess. Have the rendition allegations been quietly dropped then, or can we still hope he receives just punishment.


    • 31
      Anon Voter says:

      I came back on a trip once where Labours Gerald Kaufman slid on board * at the last minute, strangely no one would use the toilet he went into during the flight & most people somehow managed to kick his seat on there way to & from the other loo.

      * a lot of the passengers biz class quickly tried to leave the plane once they saw who it was, but the stairs had been quickly removed from the aircraft & door shut, cant think why.

      This was the M.E. country where an recent uprising took place against the President


      • 119
        The Paragnostic says:

        Good old Gerald – represents Gorton but lives in leafy Didsbury. What a fucking trooper – back-to-backs and tower blocks not being his ideal neighbours and all that.

        The man’s a complete Hoon.


    • 32
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      It’s funny ! The BBC Tosser from watch dog gets jailed for twelve weeks for benefit fraud yesterday for fiddling housing benefit and Council tax
      Yet when White feather Straw got caught fiddling his council tax ,
      it was a minor oversight !


      • 42
        The Spirit of Super Mac!! says:

        Its Events Dear Boy……. Events !!!!!!!!

        Rest assured this White Feathered Man of Straw will receive all what coming to him at some point………..


  12. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    What the fuck is wrong with those French saddo’s ?
    Thousands of e’m , going absolutely ape shit with excrement over a few junkies riding bikes
    Are their lives really that boring


    • 30
      Tachybaptus says:

      Possibly more exciting (or excrementing) than twenty-two men running after a bladder.


    • 63
      Tour de Farce says:

      The cyclists should be armed with clubs to beat the mongs at the road sides.


    • 90
      Forged By Society says:

      Why the fuck do they take steroids to ride a fucking bike? It’s hardly boxing or weightlifting or something where you can understand why they need performance enhancing, it’s just riding a fooking bike down a hill, what a load of fucking pansies and poofs.


      • 97
        Just saying says:

        I doubt you could ride a bike for 150 miles at 35 mph?


        • 130
          BRADLEY MANNING son of BERNARD says:

          Neither can they without the smack !
          Give me a shot and i’ll ride one to the fuckin moon !


        • 132
          Sir Aston Martin says:

          I saw a bit of the Tour once, Mr F. B. Society, and a harder bunch of geezers it would be impossible to find outside a maximum security penitentiary in Alabama. Call them pansies at your peril, squire!


    • 199
      Frankies Fail says:

      I like reading a lot of your postings….pretty good std most of the time. Unfortunately this one is an epic fail. You obviously like being a weak and fat cu n tt.


  13. 28
    Jen The Blue says:

    Is he capable of telling the truth?


    • 33
      annette curton says:

      International perjury is still handsomely paid for by muggings U.K.


    • 37
      I don't need no doctor says:

      He doesn’t know the truth.


    • 39
      Lord Justice Leveson says:

      Not on Oath, he’s not.


    • 40
      Anon Voter says:

      Will Adam Bolton Sky News be appearing in the same Court before McNut as a character witness for him.

      Hope he takes a DVD of the interview where McNut gives Adam his Mad Lunatic Evil Eye at the end & scares the shit out of Kay Burley at Sky Centre many miles away…… Great Fun……..

      Look forward to see it all on You Tube asap

      Sorry that UK Tax Payers will have to fund this fruit cakes trip there wont be much change out of min of £30K expenses.


      • 72
        Aunty Matter says:

        You mean this one?


        • 193
          Anon Voter says:

          Thanks for clip Aunty Matter

          The UN Secretary General Ban ki Moon should be sent a copy of
          very scary interview with Gordon McNut.Then UN SG will start to realise the great mistake he’s made & the dangers he’s is about to put disadvantage children to if McNut is allowed to swan around the world under UN auspices & starts to have some of his uncontrollable temper outbursts. Plus also the damage he can still do to what’s left of UK’s tattered reputation after his boss the Perma Tanned Bliar bomb the shit out of so many people.

          Why the blazes did’nt Cameron, our so called PM, block this nutters UN appointment, proves again why CMD, the out of touch Toff Liar who will only allowed one term and that looks even more likely it will be truncated because of events, outside of his manipulation & control.

          We all need to stand up & “VOTE UKIP” who are not perfect & have there
          own warts they may not wish to discuss, BUT we need to put an end to
          this continuing cycle of these devious manipulators of ConsLieLaborLibDems who’s main asset common to all 3 of them is there Fellowships in Mendacity.

          We the great unwashed just cannot afford to continue the luxury of this
          manipulated Merry Go Round any longer

          Its time for REAL Change & Real Accountability, the latter being back dated so the GUILTY ones are finally brought to book, & WE start to take back OUR COUNTRY.


        • 194
          Nogbad the Bad says:

          It never fails to amaze me how he can list things that he completely fucked-up and say he wants to solve them, as if the fuck-ups were nothing to do with him.


  14. 36
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am Godfather to Ed Ball’s Action Man


  15. 46
    A Koala says:

    One lumpur two?


  16. 47
    Choc-ices melt sooner says:

    MICHIGAN STATE (US) — Marriage doesn’t seem to boost longevity for blacks the way it does for whites, according to a large national study of cohabitating and married couples.


    • 53
      Diane Fatbott says:

      Racists !


      • 77
        black daddy power says:

        Black dads will do anything to get away from their kids.


        • 122
          The Paragnostic says:

          Q. What’s the definition of confusion?
          A. Father’s Day in Hackney.


          • JH says:

            It’s BABYFATHER. Evry fule kno dat.

            A friend of mine knew it was time to emigrate when at his office a white girl asked a white colleague about her white baby, “Ooooose the babyfarva?”

            Few cultures have embraced destruction as eagerly as we.


  17. 49
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, don’t you mean ‘witless’ rather than ‘witness’?


  18. 54
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    With no apologies for repetition ……



    • 61
      Your licence fee down the drain says:

      He’s still more than welcome here at the BBC.


      • 99
        Just saying says:

        Now all we need is John Reid to be called to account for G4S and Rachel Reeves for her old employer HBOS.
        What is it with Labour politicians and dodgy companies?


        • 112
          P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

          We’re extremely relaxed about people getting filthy rich.


          • Labour MP's and union leaders says:

            Relentless troughing whilst dictating to others how to live their lives.
            It’s what we do best.


  19. 55
    Aydodge E. Scheisster, QC says:

    Perhaps the UN could give him some sort of assignment in the near neighbourhood so it won’t be a total waste of time. Failing that, let the Court arrange for out-of-his-Gord to give evidence via teleconferencing, as was done to accommodate Piers Morgan at the Leveson circle-jerk. The time difference being seven hours, Gordon can give his evidence at an ungodly hour and look even more foreboding in his app*earance. I pity whoever it is in whose favour Gordon will be testifying; they’ve got the proverbial snowball’s chance once the Kirkcaldy Kid starts talking.


  20. 56
    Anonymous says:

    Please stop displaying Brown’s photo. It makes me sick at the best of times but just at mealtimes…….please no.


  21. 59
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Why did the BBC call the payment, that the London transport unions have extorted over the Olympics, a bonus? It is a ransom payment that bus users will have to pay for in higher fares.


    • 65
      Aunty Matter says:

      Because like the BBC they are thieving c u n t z


      • 87
        Anonymous says:

        The BBC know all about extorting money with menaces.


        • 102
          the stench of hypocrisy says:

          And top presenters who smugly sit in judgement over other members of society are quite happy to avoid paying their fair share of taxes.


          • Anonymous says:

            Just imagine if Rupert Murdoch went around saying, “Subscribe to my TV channel or go to prison”, they’d rightly be a fucking revolution, and yet the BBC does just that. You can’t tell me we don’t already live in a nascent marxist state.


          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            I beg to differ. I can say “we don’t already live in a nascent marxist state.” I’d be wrong, of course, but I could say it.

            Autistic, moi?


    • 116
      st fm says:

      Any fuck that uses Ukip in their name is really dubious, unless they state. UKIP rightwing intellectually deficient right right wing tossers!


      • 123
        The Paragnostic says:

        I dunno – Farrago was pretty good last night on C4 News – didn’t see why we needed to even think of paying damages over the Mau-Mau.

        A sound position, if I may hazard an opinion.


        • 312
          Stick 'em up says:

          We should now counter-claim from the Kenyans for all the young squaddies they butchered in cold blood.


      • 177
        UKIP.i.am says:

        Well it isnt exactly an answer to my question but what else can you expect from someone who calls himself ‘stupid twat fucks mother’ and abbreviates it.


      • 227
        Anonymous says:

        Of course the left are against blanket stereotyping….

        (Except for the whole classwar thingy.)


  22. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    I think you all owe me a bit of respect. When I was PM, there was none of this trouble with newspapers and banks. Everything went smoothly. Now look what’s happening. It’s a disaster and a disgrace. Nurse? Who’s that woman and those two little boys?


    • 66
      wet wet wet says:

      Since The Sun defected to the Tories, newspapers are bad, especially if they are popular, have large circulations and make a profit.


    • 282
      JH says:

      The first bank run in over 200 years on your watch was down to Thatcher.

      She started in America.


  23. 64
    Aunty Matter says:

    Talking of fat jock retarded mongs, Alex Salmond has just been on Sky News wanking on about how wonderful an independent Scotland will be…..so long as we English let them use our currency and allow Scotland to use the Bank of England to bail them out.

    Thing is you can just see Cam-moron and Red Ed going along with it. An independent Scotland going on a public sector spending spree using the English credit card.


  24. 68

    Wanted Despot (four positions)
    Due to unforeseen retirement we are please to offer vacancies for the following
    Minister for the Interior
    Minister for Defence
    Assistant vice president
    Presidential brother in law
    all positions are open to Ex Labour war mongers circa 1997/2009
    and come with excellent remuneration package , salary , company tank and brand new fully refurbished office
    Duties will include torchering and murdering civilians ,rape, pillage , plunder
    and weekly denial press conferences

    Apply President Arsehead PO box 1 Damascus


  25. 69
    st fm says:

    Guido.. A right wing Hunt.. intellectually inept..Supported and approved by fwits who would remain silent in real life for fear of being silenced by superior intelligence.. The internet .. With good comes the ” excrement”


  26. 74
    Aunty Matter says:

    Whilst we’re on the subject of fat thieving Labour bastards


  27. 76
    Aunty Matter says:

    Oh and found this little on on Youtube as well.


  28. 78
    Serious questions to answer says:

    And our top story tonight, millions of people have said Gordon Brown has serious questions to answer after it emerged he was flying around the world at taxpayers’ expense whilst neglecting his duties as an MP. This comes on top of other serious questions he has to answer, including serious questions about being in office when major financial corruption and money laundering took place in the years 1997-2010, and serious questions to answer about his role in more than two dozen mobile phone related injuries.


  29. 85
    Gordon Brown says:

    If I have to go to Umpa Lumpa I will reach out as the UN emperador for kiddies by taking some pork and alcohol.


    • 272
      The Chief Of The Umpa Lumpas says:

      On second thought, stay home, Gordon. We’re doing all right as is with Mr Wonka– we shouldn’t like to have Mr Wanker come in and bollocks things up!


  30. 91
    Alien voter says:

    “Halfway across the planet.” Wrong planet!


  31. 103
    MrAngry61 says:

    He is alleged to have committed an act of seditious tendency by writing a letter to Gordon Brown, then Prime Minister of United Kingdom, at 10, Downing Street, London.

    Shouldn’t that be the other way round?


  32. 107
    Aunty Matter says:

    More lefty bollocks on the BBC, some shite on BBC 3 about ‘freedom of speech’ needless to say the audience is very very ‘un white’


  33. 131
    Raving Loon says:

    Can we not put him on trial for treason here?


  34. 137
    Lets just hear it one last time... says:


  35. 150

    Just consider.

    If you took every square inch of land on the planet, every place covered in water too. All the available raw materials in the ground and under the sea. All the deposits in bank accounts, all the assets held by the world’s governments, corporations and private individuals. All the contents of museums and art galleries everywhere. All the value of stocks in public and private companies. All cash held by anyone. Every diamond, ruby, emerald. Every block of gold or part thereof. Insurance companies’ investments. The entire world real estate. Every vehicle, plain and train and all the rolling stock. Even the shirt off your back.

    Cash it all in. Shedloads of cash. It still would not be enough to finance all Gordon Brown’s mad plans for 12 months.


    • 162
      Anonymous says:

      And he only got away with it thanks to the backing of current Labour hierarchy Millibandwagon,Balls and Cooper.


    • 169
      Lou Scannon says:

      Your comment this morning about Blair and corruption set me wondering :
      Was Blair’s meeting with the Pope really about him converting to Catholicism or was it really the Evil One trying to convert the Pope to Blairism ?


    • 181
      Jonah Brooone says:

      Sometimes when my poo is yellow it reminds me of gold and I want to sell it, Do you want to buy my yellow poo ? Mostly tho’ it is a Brown colour which reminds me it is mine. I did that :-)
      There are some other things that I did that weren’t quite as clever apparently but I’ve been told not to think about those things.


  36. 167

    It’s nice and quick driving in London on those lanes with circles in them. Anyone want to buy a Lebanese registered Toyota Landcruiser, BTW?


  37. 200
    G4S does O2 says:

    What’s the betting Clarkson has devised a topgear challenge on how to exploit the Zil Lanes?


  38. 202
    Saffron says:

    Gordoom is a complete English hater from his birth to right now,it is ingrained in him to hate the English.
    The backward society looking people who are Jocksters need to get into the 21st century and smell the coffee.
    Salmonid iss an ass hole only interested in his own fortunes,the guy is a latter day so called Robert the Bruce/William Wallace dreamer,if the majority of Jocksters fall for this guys inane ramblings,well I for one will conclude that they are thick.
    The so called hated English made Jockland what it is today,latterly do you remember folks the Barnett formula,which exsists to this day.
    This discredited formula is long past it’s sell by date,and this arrangement gives Jockland many advantages that right now don’t apply to ENGLAND.
    I for one wish that they would p–s off and do their own thing and then they will see whitch side their bread is buttered on.
    Good night to all and sleep tight.


    • 205
      Anonymous says:

      Salmond and his Scots Nats are well aware of the advantages.
      That’s why any referendum on independence won’t be held for years so they can carry on milking the English for every penny while complaining about us at every opportunity.


      • 287
        Andy Murray says:

        You ungrateful English Hunt.

        I got to the Wimbledon finals on your English money.

        Bastards ! Give me some more !


    • 215
      Fredrick Percy Smythe-Johnson of Wapping High Street says:

      Here Here……well said

      Is’nt that CAMERON old Jock’s Name then ?

      Look at all the damage he’s doing to us

      by squeezing us Dry with TAX TAX TAX………

      If the Jocks do decided to cut their Free flowing Sterling

      Umbilical Pipe Line I Cerainly hope they do…..cant we

      Throw in CMD as a BONUS ??

      So we KILL two Old tarts with One Stone……..


  39. 206

    Anyone approaching 50 out there? You should be taking the new life prolonging Polypill. It has three blood pressure-lowering drugs and a cholesterol-lowering statin.

    Polypill Plus has added Viagra to increase the blood pressure again.


    • 210
      Steve "shagger" Norris says:

      Who needs Viagra?


    • 218
      Can't remember my medication says:

      IVY!! Have I taken my Polypill yet?


    • 231
      South of the M4 says:

      I am approaching 50 – but from the wrong direction. Where does that leave me?


    • 240
      Cash 4 tests says:

      Ever since the local doctors has been sending out junk mail by the ton to come in and take this test and that test, fill in the questonaire and enter a prize draw. I’ve become a tad sceptical of their moyives.


      • 249
        Biase Broadcasting Company (We know who you are & Where you are) Commondant says:

        Have you Made your WILL ???

        Leaving everything you own plus bequeathing everything

        your family’s futures generations may acquire to the Mother STATE ???

        If not why Not ??

        Get on with it before we VISIT You…….


  40. 207
  41. 209
    Ah! Monika says:

    Newsnight interview with Alistair Burt. Script could have been written by the 2012 scriptwriters. brilliant. Only wish i knew how to capture on a youtube.

    And Bill Clinton has just said that Nelson Mandella’s colour looked better !!


    • 214
      It comes to us all says:

      Must say I’m shocked. I haven’t paid any attention to Clinton since he left office and that is the first interview with him I have watched since. In my mind until now the image of “read my lips Bill” has been the man who did not have sexual relations with that woman and it was shocking to see that he is now a frail old man.


      • 223
        American Condom(Buy them first) Association Spokesperson says:

        Yes that goes to Prove that Long Thick Hand Rolled Cigars

        fondled by Monica are a real danger to your longevity………

        A.I.D.S effect is just a side issue……..


        • 226
          Ah! Monika says:

          I’m putting one up on ebay. DNA authenticated.


          • Big Dick's Old Brother but now his Sister after the US Tax Funded Operation says:

            And what about your infamous Dress ??

            Is that still in the CIA vaults in Virginia ??

            PS Not implying you are a untouched Virgin

            as my kid brother Big Dick had you years ago

            behind the old bike shed…but as everyone has

            ridden you perhaps you are unable to recall this

            big cock up….


      • 229

        The upside is that there are many more virgins in Arkansas now that their ex-Senator can’t run faster than they can.


      • 241
        Fagin says:

        really ? ( don’t have a telly ) is he not looking good ? I am a bit distressed, being a baby boomer myself, I have a great fondness for Bill


        • 243
          It comes to us all says:

          Yes really. I’m afraid the sight old Bill now is not a cheery thing for Baby Boomers. On the lighter side, his missus is holding up well though.


    • 301
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      My wife knows Alistair Burt from when he was a sprog !


  42. 211
    Ah! Monika says:

    Clinton, did I actually ‘ entertain’ this old buffoon.


  43. 220
    Fagin says:

    I’ve been on here for a couple of weeks and to me it seems like a reasonable cross section of opinion so I wonder is why this Brown character is still walking the streets and not locked up.


    • 228
      No.10's fornication transgender spokesperson says:

      Cameron is an active supporter of “We are all in this Together”
      as long as it does not involve him…….


    • 233
      A Bigot to die for says:

      More to the point, I wonder why Dave could not beat him outright. Gordon was every opposition leader’s dream incumbent.


      • 236
        Red Ken Lyingscum says:

        Strip out the Postal Voters and the Tories would probably have won by a landslide.


        • 244
          LieLabours Manipulation & Mendacity Spokesperson fully trained Bliar & Assoc's says:

          Yes that took a great deal of time & effort to get all postal
          votes in on time even though they were posted months & months
          before the election was called, thats the problem with snail mail
          its so bloody slow.

          Thats why we have already posted 10 million postal
          votes for the 2015 election which Red ED will win with a massive
          landside victory with a small amount of help from the BBC.

          The Tories & Lib Dems will not win a seat between
          them & they all lose there deposits so we will have the first true one party
          state out of all EUSSR since the 1930’s


        • 315
          Haribo Halfwit says:

          …plus the effect of rigged constituencies, which introduced a systemic bias – the same thing which gave Blair his original victory over poor, satirist-besmirched John Major.

          If there was a shred of doubt that the LibDems retained any taint of honesty, their threat to block boundary reform removes it.


    • 234
      Robert Kilroy Silk says:

      “reasonable cross section of opinion”



    • 235
      Great British Public says:

      Brown, Balls and Milibandwagon all have questions to answer.

      In government they were a total shambles.


    • 239
      Agamemnon says:

      No-one dares lay a finger on him – it’s like King Midas in reverse.


    • 271
      not a machine says:

      Some of us still have Vintage Guido to remember and savour , the screen , the muffled voice , drink and acid house club confessions , schillings law suits , Mcbride and Draper . Old holborn , alas found his shangrila , the MPs expenses was perhaps his finest hour . I dont know where to start on what his best post ever is , as for balance ….. its a shame you missed what it was like on here before the election , Guido could be quite the blade , and if you owned a site and he blogged on it , was major street cred , but we more of a rabble in those days , political blogging was as near to Robin Hood as you could feel .


  44. 223
    Ah! Monika says:

    Alegra Stratton earning her 30 pieces of tax free silver


  45. 225
    Happyuk says:

    Reports out of Italy are stating for the first evertime in its long and demonically corrupt history, the Vatican was raided by Italian police on July 5, 2012, who were searching for evidence in an ongoing money laundering scandal growing worse by the week for the Holy See. (Here is the original report on an Italian news channel, TGCOM 24.)


    Money laundering???? First HSBC, now the Vatican!


  46. 248
    Contrarian says:

    Sell High. Buy Low.

    Sell Gold. Buy Banks.

    It will take time but that is the way to go now.


    • 251

      All you have to do then is work out how you can live for another hundred years in order to make a profit.


      • 254
        Contrarian says:

        You only reinforce my post. Buy at the time of most pessimism and sell at the time of most optimism.

        Of course no one knows when most is but I reckon the banks are close to rock bottom plus or minus a few years.


        • 259

          My thought developed along the lines that McBrown had claimed to have abolished boom and bust when in fact all he abolished was optimism. Ergo, we are in a long cycle of bust not hugely dissimilar to Japan’s two lost decades of deflation.

          I may be a bit out of it now but I cannot see how we can break out of it for at least two decades and possibly much longer. The only volatility we get now is a knee-jerk reaction to anything that might have been published five minutes ago.

          It is way beyond my inadequate powers to see through this veritable thicket of non-information and chaotic occurrences. There are no detectable patterns which I can identify. Why should banks not stay on the floor for another five years? Or even drop further? What other malpractices are lurking away there waiting for someone to blow the whistle about?

          I don’t believe anything I hear nowadays and even dismiss most of what I see.


        • 276
          UKIP.i.am says:

          Did you think that way with Railtrack and Northern Rock and Lloyds and RBS?

          I doubt we have seen the end of the pain or the revelations for banks. There is still lot of dirt to come out yet. And with western economies in so much debt and having to print billions of new currency just to keep afloat, gold is one of the only safe investments. Meanwhile the Eurozone shambles drifts on dragging more and more economies into its black hole.

          Seriously anybody who thinks the current financial crisis is anywhere near to being resolved is deluded and listening far too much to the same economists who failed to see the problems that unregulated banks and the Euro would cause.


  47. 257
    Ex MP watch says:

    Jacqui Smith down in the Smoke doing the Sky Paper review. I doubt Murdoch will pay her to stay at her sister’s.


  48. 263

    Amazing the languages this woman can speak:



    • 265
      Tachybaptus says:

      She’s shown as saying, ‘Denis didn’t want the eight annoying English children.’ Sadly, about as funny as Rich and Mark.


    • 302
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      She might be as mad as a bucket of frogs
      but she can still remember to claim £109,000 expenses


  49. 267
    time 4 dave says:

    Firm leadership required. Cameron must now step in and take over Olympic jitters.


  50. 268
    not a machine says:

    The true cost of Gordon Browns and Labours polices , will be a most interesting topic someday , the Pm thinks we may be looking at 2020 before things become better , as Ken Clark said 7yrs to put it right , which is roughly half the time again that labour was in office , we have ended up loaning £40bn to the IMF , quite a few £bn lost on nationalisation of 50% of uk banking sector , and other banks still on repair of balance sheets to have capital reserves for risks they were taking . We now hear Scicilly may be in trouble before Spain and In France it could yet wash up there .
    If you think back to his public order legislation , i wonder if he knew such a monumental loss of the nations finances would lead to to problems .

    We are paying for Labours policies , somthing I doubt I can forgive , even though for some it all seems so long ago , they managed to corrupt just about every government department they ran , up pops Tony in his capsule , totally oblivious that 10s of millions of people have been crapped on big time , because , he did nothing about EU debts , He did nothing about UK debts when PM , literally from the moment he was plotted against and separted , to 2020 will be near 12 yrs of repair and slog , near enough the whole time Labour were in office , “Things can only get better” if only we had known it was a big lie right from 1997 .By the way I ended up with £12mn , while all of you who kept voting for me , ended up in the gutter . What a wikipedia entry .

    I know its difficult not be cynical when Banks CEOs have multi £mn bounus , but i genuinely felt , that there was an effort from BOE and Mr Tyrie in quisitions , to not only lift the drains , but perhaps consider how much they had been bored out to , to accomdate Labours polices , hard to quantify just how much he manged to get to the nations financial drains .

    So do we get to 2020 , and Ed milliband gets into office on the promise , that building a series of atmopshere controllers and flying saucer cars and free cosmetic surgery for all , and it will all be forgotten . I briefly entertained what a Tony vs Dave PMqs would be like , perhaps it would be novel first few times , like a former champions tennis show match , but then somehow you know , that Dave would have to win and we would see that expression that Tony had , when he lost control of the lib lab pact , the brownites were coshing the Balirites and those cold exchanges that took place in the months before Tony stepped down , and without ever being elected , the man who managed to empty a whole nations future , took office , to lead in in the very maelstrom of finance he had helped engineer .
    The brief I presume was that we needed an iron Cancellor in tough times , someone who had been to appear so competant by the press in his chancellor years , the conservatives never doubted his spending plans were made up .

    I hope the banking commision has some thoughts about what they know , that happened , it perhaps my be nice to consider if all those mutual societies and mergers that the ruin waived on as good for the nation , were not just the begining of his totally mad attempt at socialism and EUSSR . In a bizarre way coalition politics has saved the lib dems , from any questions about what they understood what Labour were doing to the finances in the Lib Lab Pact , I mean if some of think Labour should be strung up for all the years of pain , seems a shame not consider how short the collbaoraters spoon in the jam pot was , in actuality .

    i wonder what happened to those countries where Gordon and Tony helped write the debt off , only 5 yeras later from saving those countries and we had the biggest debts abd deficets going , there is perhaps a lesson in it, even big lies can be found out in the end :)


    • 279

      Briefly ;-)

      1. Some will think you are overdoing it in your first paragraph. IMO you have underestimated the recovery time. It could take half a century or more.

      2. We have had almost five years of ghastly revelations, popping out of the woodwork one by one, each one showing complete areas of civic and commercial life to be swarming with maggots. What makes you think we have uncovered the full extent of the depth and breadth of these exposures?


  51. 274
    Jose Lottauros says:

    Caramba! Isn’t that BT Infinity advert both misogynist and racist, portraying young women and Spanish people as exploiters and spongers?


  52. 277
    David one-term-is-all-I-need-to-finish-the country Cameron says:

    My fellow mock Conservatives and I have almost completed what Liebour started. We’ve started packing our bags and we’ll be heading off for Oblivion shortly.



    • 294
      Meddy Eavil Peesant says:

      Fuck you ‘Dave’ – you shallow pasty faced arse hole! Take your mock copns and join the fire with Gorodn!


  53. 278
    2012: A Spaced Odyssey says:

    Can’t we just beg NASA to put Brown on one of their rockets and send him into outer space aiming right towards a Black Hole?


    • 280
      Gordon Brown says:

      No need for that, I’ve succeeded in creating a black hole right here on Earth.
      No more Big Bang – we’re Bust.


    • 281
      Cheap cheap says:

      Your as bad as lunatic Brown wasting money, can’t you come up with a better proposal that costs the taxpayer a few pence.


      • 292
        Meddy Eavil Peesant says:

        ? Burning at the stake + you get heat and light


        • 293
          Meddy Eavil Peesant says:

          Actucally a bit shocked that got through! – it’s got the dreaded eee aaaa combo – something about a (not east) Indy re cypee ? Didn’t spot til after


      • 295
        SP4BS says:

        you know in “silence of the lambs”, there’s an offer of a place with a view of a tree, and it turns out to be a god forsaken toxic island somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere like that.

        (for any dim buggers out there, this is a feeder for jokes about dire places in the UK).


    • 285
      JH says:

      What has the other dimension he might travel to done to deserve Gordon?

      Never mind, if he fucks up their economy too he can claim it all started in this dimension.


    • 288
      SP4BS says:

      Well yes. We could beg them, but they don’t have any spacecraft to take people 200km from earth, never mind quite a few light years away. HTH.


  54. 286
    Oh says:


  55. 290
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    Get Britain out of Europe.

    If it win’s votes then it will be Nasty Party policy !


  56. 291
    Camertwat says:

    I too, – like Gordon Brown, – am full of shit!


  57. 299
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Party opposite) says:

    David Cameron is visiting Afghanistan.

    Will their suffering never end ?


  58. 304
    The Shameless BBC says:


    Global warming innit?



    • 314
      Seamus O'Deer says:

      2 Irish guys are stranded on an iceberg. One turns to the other and says,
      “we’re saved, we’re saved, here comes the Titanic”


  59. 308
    My entry for the Caption Comp says:

    = Laughing Twat


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