July 18th, 2012

Gordon Brown In Shock Sedition Trial

Guido got his hopes up when he saw that Gordon Brown would be appearing in the dock in a Kuala Lumpur court, but sadly the Prime Mentalist will only be a witness rather than a suspect. According to Malaysian newspaper The Sun Daily, Gordon has been summoned by the defence in a bizarre sedition trial halfway across the planet. At least that gives him another chance to rack up some more air miles…


  1. 1
    Chav says:

    Gordon should be in jail or hangin from lampost

  2. 2

    Hello it’s me again

  3. 3
    Whilst jetting around the planet, Gordon Brown says:

    “It is essential that we create a low-carbon economy.”

  4. 4

    Breaking news Customs and immigration staff have voted to strike , over jobs, pay , conditions etc

    we find out tomorrow what and when
    looks like someone else is looking for a bonus

  5. 5
    I love the FT says:

    Imagine being trapped on a plane to Africa with Brown in the next seat.

    Do BA provide a special cage for him? Is he shipped cargo in his own special box? Do they carry extra restraints in case of a bout of Nokia madness?

    Personally I would rather travel with a corpse in the next seat. It would be quieter and there would be more room

  6. 6
    I love the FT says:

    And the Home Office going on strike too …on a ballot turnout of 20%. Democracy in action

  7. 7
    I love the FT says:

    Let see it start in America

  8. 8
    I love the FT says:


    Isn’t your father almost extinct

  9. 9
    Nick 'cunt' Buckles says:

    I deserve to be up in court charged with serial breaches of contract and complete misrepresentation.

  10. 10
    Anonymous says:

    Preferably in the wheel well.

  11. 11
    Expat Geordie says:

    Pity the poor defendant if they are having to rely upon Gormless Gordon, aka Jonah. They can probably already set the date of their own trip to the gallows.

  12. 12
    An Outraged reader! says:

    I must protest Mr Fawkes!

    A very serious crime has been committed, someone in your office has posted a blog about Gordon without attaching a “twat watch” tag!

    I hope for full and in-depth inquiry into shambles and the responsible intern sacked!

  13. 13
    bandersnatch says:

    D’accord. Gordon Bennet!

  14. 14
    Bumiputra says:

    It shall be fascinating seeing him treated as a credible witness.

  15. 15
    Fish says:

    Travelling with Brown didn’t seem to bother this lot!!


  16. 16
    Vazoline says:

    With all my connections abroad, I could grease a few palms and get him out of it.

  17. 17
    Pregnant woman says:

    Hope I don’t get seated next to the twat.

  18. 18
    Bolshevik Broadcasting Corpse says:

    Don’t you have to be of sound mind to be a witness?

  19. 19
    A quarter of births are to mothers born outside the UK says:

    Well it can’t be any worse than the status quo, they let every fucker in anyway.

  20. 20
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Yep ! just about had his chips !

  21. 21
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    I noticed the man of Straw came out of hiding to show his face in the HOC, just before the reccess. Have the rendition allegations been quietly dropped then, or can we still hope he receives just punishment.

  22. 22
    Anonymous says:

    Useless idle stupid fuckers, anyway who cares, let all the nig nogs in, watch out for Burka clad athletes…………..

  23. 23
    Anonymous says:

    And less of a smell.

  24. 24
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Romanian pick pockets arriving in their thousands , and hoping to make at least £5,000 a piece
    Ah the benefits of EU membership !

  25. 25
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Fix bayonets!

  26. 26
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    What the fuck is wrong with those French saddo’s ?
    Thousands of e’m , going absolutely ape shit with excrement over a few junkies riding bikes
    Are their lives really that boring

  27. 27
    JOHN REID (not a shot will be fired in Afghanistan) says:

    Make sure you sign my cheque before you resign , wanker

  28. 28
    Jen The Blue says:

    Is he capable of telling the truth?

  29. 29
    JOHN REID (not a shot will be fired in Afghanistan) says:

    The Saudi ladies swimming team arrive at Heathrow

  30. 30
    Tachybaptus says:

    Possibly more exciting (or excrementing) than twenty-two men running after a bladder.

  31. 31
    Anon Voter says:

    I came back on a trip once where Labours Gerald Kaufman slid on board * at the last minute, strangely no one would use the toilet he went into during the flight & most people somehow managed to kick his seat on there way to & from the other loo.

    * a lot of the passengers biz class quickly tried to leave the plane once they saw who it was, but the stairs had been quickly removed from the aircraft & door shut, cant think why.

    This was the M.E. country where an recent uprising took place against the President

  32. 32
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    It’s funny ! The BBC Tosser from watch dog gets jailed for twelve weeks for benefit fraud yesterday for fiddling housing benefit and Council tax
    Yet when White feather Straw got caught fiddling his council tax ,
    it was a minor oversight !

  33. 33
    annette curton says:

    International perjury is still handsomely paid for by muggings U.K.

  34. 34
    concrete pump says:

    The Albanian pickpockets already have those….

  35. 35
    Blimp Colonel says:

    Hello Haddock,

    Nice to see you back out on the street again this blog needs characters like you to give us all a bloody good laugh. I always look forward to your hilarious drunken rants. Have a few for the road and give us all the benefit of your glorious pearls of wisdom.

    Well done.

  36. 36
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am Godfather to Ed Ball’s Action Man

  37. 37
    I don't need no doctor says:

    He doesn’t know the truth.

  38. 38
    Expensive Expenses says:

    How come politicians get charged air fares in the 10s of thousands that I get charged in the hundred and the hotels charge them more over one night than they charge me for a fortnight on full board?

    Would expenses have something to do with it? Surely Gordon is a frugal man and would never expect the public to provide him with anything more than basic.

  39. 39
    Lord Justice Leveson says:

    Not on Oath, he’s not.

  40. 40
    Anon Voter says:

    Will Adam Bolton Sky News be appearing in the same Court before McNut as a character witness for him.

    Hope he takes a DVD of the interview where McNut gives Adam his Mad Lunatic Evil Eye at the end & scares the shit out of Kay Burley at Sky Centre many miles away…… Great Fun……..

    Look forward to see it all on You Tube asap

    Sorry that UK Tax Payers will have to fund this fruit cakes trip there wont be much change out of min of £30K expenses.

  41. 41
    Patriot says:

    Brilliant. Fewer people granted indefinite leave to remain. They should only open the Home office every other February.

  42. 42
    The Spirit of Super Mac!! says:

    Its Events Dear Boy……. Events !!!!!!!!

    Rest assured this White Feathered Man of Straw will receive all what coming to him at some point………..

  43. 43
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The world according to “Haddock” is indeed a strange one !

  44. 44
    Nervous flying Passanger says:

    IF by chance that did happen, you can be 1000% certain your Insurance Policy will be Null & Void, something about putting yourself in dangerous situations…….and of course additional premiums on all future trips……

    Wonder how much extra BA has to pay for insurance when & if he’s on board…..of course nothing you could or would advertise otherwise they will lose all of there premium passengers ……….

  45. 45
    Great British Public says:

    Let’s hope Gordooooom is treated with similar respect…..

  46. 46
    A Koala says:

    One lumpur two?

  47. 47
    Choc-ices melt sooner says:

    MICHIGAN STATE (US) — Marriage doesn’t seem to boost longevity for blacks the way it does for whites, according to a large national study of cohabitating and married couples.

  48. 48
    Sir William Waad says:

    Don’t forgot Gordon has to take his therapist, two nurses, his praise-singer and a bottom-wiper.

  49. 49
    Sir William Waad says:

    Guido, don’t you mean ‘witless’ rather than ‘witness’?

  50. 50
    Gordon Brown says:

    I was very annoyed that the people of Britain were not more grateful.

    I had to go and walk on Obama beach to calm down.

    They declared war on me that day. I swear I will destroy them.

  51. 51
    fagin says:

    So remember if any foreign looking type asks for directions he is probably a Rumanian pickpocket and you should smash him on the nose before he steals your wallet.

  52. 52
    Tony B Liar says:

    You are all being extremely rude and nasty to this much lauded man, Gridiron Brown I do believe you are all bigots!

  53. 53
    Diane Fatbott says:

    Racists !

  54. 54
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    With no apologies for repetition ……


  55. 55
    Aydodge E. Scheisster, QC says:

    Perhaps the UN could give him some sort of assignment in the near neighbourhood so it won’t be a total waste of time. Failing that, let the Court arrange for out-of-his-Gord to give evidence via teleconferencing, as was done to accommodate Piers Morgan at the Leveson circle-jerk. The time difference being seven hours, Gordon can give his evidence at an ungodly hour and look even more foreboding in his app*earance. I pity whoever it is in whose favour Gordon will be testifying; they’ve got the proverbial snowball’s chance once the Kirkcaldy Kid starts talking.

  56. 56
    Anonymous says:

    Please stop displaying Brown’s photo. It makes me sick at the best of times but just at mealtimes…….please no.

  57. 57
    Expat Geordie says:

    Sorry, but when I saw the words “Gordon Brown” and “sedition”, well, I couldn’t resist looking up the fourth verse:

    Lord, grant that Marshal Wade,
    May by thy mighty aid,
    Victory bring.
    May he sedition hush,
    and like a torrent rush,
    Rebellious Scots to crush,
    God save the King.

  58. 58
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Arguing over choc-ices.

  59. 59
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Why did the BBC call the payment, that the London transport unions have extorted over the Olympics, a bonus? It is a ransom payment that bus users will have to pay for in higher fares.

  60. 60
    UKIP.i.am says:

    How about making him UN envoy to Mars?

  61. 61
    Your licence fee down the drain says:

    He’s still more than welcome here at the BBC.

  62. 62
    Gordon Brown says:

    I think you all owe me a bit of respect. When I was PM, there was none of this trouble with newspapers and banks. Everything went smoothly. Now look what’s happening. It’s a disaster and a disgrace. Nurse? Who’s that woman and those two little boys?

  63. 63
    Tour de Farce says:

    The cyclists should be armed with clubs to beat the mongs at the road sides.

  64. 64
    Aunty Matter says:

    Talking of fat jock retarded mongs, Alex Salmond has just been on Sky News wanking on about how wonderful an independent Scotland will be…..so long as we English let them use our currency and allow Scotland to use the Bank of England to bail them out.

    Thing is you can just see Cam-moron and Red Ed going along with it. An independent Scotland going on a public sector spending spree using the English credit card.

  65. 65
    Aunty Matter says:

    Because like the BBC they are thieving c u n t z

  66. 66
    wet wet wet says:

    Since The Sun defected to the Tories, newspapers are bad, especially if they are popular, have large circulations and make a profit.

  67. 67
    Aunty Matter says:

    What has Mars done wrong?

    Brown being a woofter would be better off with Uranus.

  68. 68

    Wanted Despot (four positions)
    Due to unforeseen retirement we are please to offer vacancies for the following
    Minister for the Interior
    Minister for Defence
    Assistant vice president
    Presidential brother in law
    all positions are open to Ex Labour war mongers circa 1997/2009
    and come with excellent remuneration package , salary , company tank and brand new fully refurbished office
    Duties will include torchering and murdering civilians ,rape, pillage , plunder
    and weekly denial press conferences

    Apply President Arsehead PO box 1 Damascus

  69. 69
    st fm says:

    Guido.. A right wing Hunt.. intellectually inept..Supported and approved by fwits who would remain silent in real life for fear of being silenced by superior intelligence.. The internet .. With good comes the ” excrement”

  70. 70

    Or armed with ozzie machine guns so they can cut a path through the muppets

  71. 71
    corporal jones says:

    I’ve heard that concrete pump likes it up him.

  72. 72
    Aunty Matter says:

    You mean this one?

  73. 73
    intelligent comment of the day says:

    Gordon is a cuпt.

  74. 74
    Aunty Matter says:

    Whilst we’re on the subject of fat thieving Labour bastards

  75. 75
    fagin says:

    I’ve always thought using lots of dots to be a bit naff.

  76. 76
    Aunty Matter says:

    Oh and found this little on on Youtube as well.

  77. 77
    black daddy power says:

    Black dads will do anything to get away from their kids.

  78. 78
    Serious questions to answer says:

    And our top story tonight, millions of people have said Gordon Brown has serious questions to answer after it emerged he was flying around the world at taxpayers’ expense whilst neglecting his duties as an MP. This comes on top of other serious questions he has to answer, including serious questions about being in office when major financial corruption and money laundering took place in the years 1997-2010, and serious questions to answer about his role in more than two dozen mobile phone related injuries.

  79. 79
    Gordon Brown says:

    Is Bradley Manning still wearing the red tunic?

  80. 80

    Best thing that ever happened to the FAT FUCK she now earns shit loads more money from the political arm of labour the BBC
    every time you flick on BBC TV or radio the Bag of Vomit is making another programme or giving an interview

  81. 81
    Std's Mum says:

    Come on in its nearly bedtime, and don’t forget to put your bedding in the washer on a 90C wash otherwise it will stink

  82. 82
    bigot watch says:

    You’re a bigot!

  83. 83


  84. 84
    Gordon Osborne says:

    I’ve always admired Gideon Brown for his acute economic brain

  85. 85
    Gordon Brown says:

    If I have to go to Umpa Lumpa I will reach out as the UN emperador for kiddies by taking some pork and alcohol.

  86. 86

    I was a fantastic son to my mother
    When she was frail and bed ridden ,
    I’d carry her down stairs every morning , so she could make my breakfast

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    The BBC know all about extorting money with menaces.

  88. 88
    STD-NOT !!!! says:

    You can’t hide your lingua you absolute prick

  89. 89
    Mad Spanky Spazcock S.O.B says:

    You can say that again.

  90. 90
    Forged By Society says:

    Why the fuck do they take steroids to ride a fucking bike? It’s hardly boxing or weightlifting or something where you can understand why they need performance enhancing, it’s just riding a fooking bike down a hill, what a load of fucking pansies and poofs.

  91. 91
    Alien voter says:

    “Halfway across the planet.” Wrong planet!

  92. 92
    Forged By Society says:

    Boo-Hoo that’s life.

    Grow a thicker skin.

  93. 93
    STD-NOT !!!! says:

    like a chancre

  94. 94
    st fm says:

    How Erudite, how typical of the scum that follows the cross eyed fat faced guido!

  95. 95
    STD-NOT !!!! says:

    errrrrrrrr ERUDITE IS THAT A TYPE OF GLUE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  96. 96
    st fm says:

    Chav by name Chave by nature..
    If you wer challenged n the reality of a face by face debate would you bhe so brazen? I think not i think you are a poorly educated fwit who likes mouthing off!

  97. 97
    Just saying says:

    I doubt you could ride a bike for 150 miles at 35 mph?

  98. 98
    Forged By Society says:

    HIV is worse

  99. 99
    Just saying says:

    Now all we need is John Reid to be called to account for G4S and Rachel Reeves for her old employer HBOS.
    What is it with Labour politicians and dodgy companies?

  100. 100
    fagin says:

    Don’t forget to pack a turd so you can remember your name at immigration.

  101. 101
    Expert at witty put downs says:

    Fuck off

  102. 102
    the stench of hypocrisy says:

    And top presenters who smugly sit in judgement over other members of society are quite happy to avoid paying their fair share of taxes.

  103. 103
    MrAngry61 says:

    He is alleged to have committed an act of seditious tendency by writing a letter to Gordon Brown, then Prime Minister of United Kingdom, at 10, Downing Street, London.

    Shouldn’t that be the other way round?

  104. 104
    the English says:

    Independence for Scotland NOW.

  105. 105
    t says:

    But the public will never forget that she claimed her husband’s porn on expenses.

  106. 106
    When you think about it the English have contributed pretty much fuck all in the last 300 years says:

    Is that the same Bank of England that was founded by errrr a Scot ?

  107. 107
    Aunty Matter says:

    More lefty bollocks on the BBC, some shite on BBC 3 about ‘freedom of speech’ needless to say the audience is very very ‘un white’

  108. 108
    Aunty Matter says:

    Is this the same Bank of England that has bailed out fucking shit jock banks that failed?

  109. 109
    intelligent comment of the year says:

    Well he is, isn’t he?

  110. 110

    I wonder why they don’t reintroduce that stanza into the National Anthem?


    And General Wade, an Englishman, built all Scotchland’s roads…

  111. 111
    Anonymous says:

    Just imagine if Rupert Murdoch went around saying, “Subscribe to my TV channel or go to prison”, they’d rightly be a fucking revolution, and yet the BBC does just that. You can’t tell me we don’t already live in a nascent marxist state.

  112. 112
    P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    We’re extremely relaxed about people getting filthy rich.

  113. 113
    st fm says:

    Chav by name!

  114. 114
    honest john consultancy says:

    G4S are crap.

    That’ll be £50,000.00.

  115. 115
  116. 116
    st fm says:

    Any fuck that uses Ukip in their name is really dubious, unless they state. UKIP rightwing intellectually deficient right right wing tossers!

  117. 117
    Richard Chimney says:

    Stupid, thieving bitch !

  118. 118
    st fm says:

    Well for you that might be so.. lol.. By the way i think you have giverbn birth to your sister . AGAIN! Best go back and screw your mother. I know shes is so pig ugly but its the only way to increase your clan!

  119. 119
    The Paragnostic says:

    Good old Gerald – represents Gorton but lives in leafy Didsbury. What a fucking trooper – back-to-backs and tower blocks not being his ideal neighbours and all that.

    The man’s a complete Hoon.

  120. 120
    Black taurean Romy, Derry says:

    One hump or two ?

  121. 121
    just an idea says:

    Don’t watch a channel that will make you cross.
    Life’s too short.

  122. 122
    The Paragnostic says:

    Q. What’s the definition of confusion?
    A. Father’s Day in Hackney.

  123. 123
    The Paragnostic says:

    I dunno – Farrago was pretty good last night on C4 News – didn’t see why we needed to even think of paying damages over the Mau-Mau.

    A sound position, if I may hazard an opinion.

  124. 124
    Gordon Brown says:

    You should see me when I hump a loofah.

  125. 125
    The Paragnostic says:

    Homo habilis recursans, if you please.

  126. 126

    Hello cripboy calipers playing up again ?

  127. 127
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    That is copyright material, filched from official handbook for Olympic stewards.

  128. 128
    A quarter of births are to mothers born outside the UK says:


  129. 129
    concrete pump says:

    Your not to bright, are you st fm..?

  130. 130

    Neither can they without the smack !
    Give me a shot and i’ll ride one to the fuckin moon !

  131. 131
    Raving Loon says:

    Can we not put him on trial for treason here?

  132. 132
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I saw a bit of the Tour once, Mr F. B. Society, and a harder bunch of geezers it would be impossible to find outside a maximum security penitentiary in Alabama. Call them pansies at your peril, squire!

  133. 133
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Where is the nearest black hole? Why don’t we establish diplomatic relations with it and send him along?

  134. 134
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I beg to differ. I can say “we don’t already live in a nascent marxist state.” I’d be wrong, of course, but I could say it.

    Autistic, moi?

  135. 135
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I see Scotchland has slipped into recession again, though I’m not sure how they can tell.

  136. 136

    I can imagine homo cum quatiens dexteram.

  137. 137
    Lets just hear it one last time... says:

  138. 138
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Leave him alone, Herr Pump. Lady Martin and I tune in to his radio station every evening when we drink our Ovaltine.

  139. 139
    The Voice of Reason says:

    Indeed, stop paying the fuckers and stop watching their propaganda.

  140. 140
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Classic vid!

  141. 141
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Is it written in ‘fluent’ English?

  142. 142

    C’mon Para!

    Get those chippy scotch bastards! I’ve got my hero General Wade onto it again…

  143. 143
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Let us have a judge-led inquiry. Either that or a new commission “chaired” by Suzi Leather Quattro.

  144. 144
    Sorry but... says:

    Once PM your protected forever, more’s the pity *points at Tony Blair*.

    One of the definitions I’d apply to a dictatorship.

  145. 145
    st fm says:

    Ho hum, Givern that most persons on this site are in awe or supportive of this prick Guido.. It is logical that yo ua are less so than me.. LOL.
    Have fun having fun with your mother/father.. IT is what you lot are good at..
    Pedantic Usage of English is another of your indicatives and i guess that is what you are commenting on.. So very sad.

  146. 146
    This will have to do says:

  147. 147
    STD-NOT !!!! says:

    errrrrrrrrrrrrrr I do have MOTHER tattooed on my knuckles !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  148. 148
    G4S Duty Pedant says:

    FFS I need a pay rise.

  149. 149
    Education, Edyerkayshun, Eddyookaashun says:

    ‘Are they planning to go to University ?’

    To join the hundreds of thousands on Libor’s scrapheap.

  150. 150

    Just consider.

    If you took every square inch of land on the planet, every place covered in water too. All the available raw materials in the ground and under the sea. All the deposits in bank accounts, all the assets held by the world’s governments, corporations and private individuals. All the contents of museums and art galleries everywhere. All the value of stocks in public and private companies. All cash held by anyone. Every diamond, ruby, emerald. Every block of gold or part thereof. Insurance companies’ investments. The entire world real estate. Every vehicle, plain and train and all the rolling stock. Even the shirt off your back.

    Cash it all in. Shedloads of cash. It still would not be enough to finance all Gordon Brown’s mad plans for 12 months.

  151. 151
    £168,000 says:

    Just pay it back to us you fucking thieving Labour bitch!

  152. 152
    IMDB says:

    Your real name is Cletus Delroy Spuckler and I claim my 5 simpsons DVD’s

  153. 153
    Labour MP's and union leaders says:

    Relentless troughing whilst dictating to others how to live their lives.
    It’s what we do best.

  154. 154
    A Martian says:

    We don’t want weird,incompetent losers like him round our way.

  155. 155
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Who is that man ?

  156. 156

    How can I sing Can the Can when she’s sitting on my face?

  157. 157
    concrete pump says:

    …Dribbled the spacktard, blindly punching bile into his blackberry as he nursed the pint of snakebite that’s been warming for the last hour, waiting desperately in the pub for the friends he doesn’t have.

  158. 158
    Nullbymouth says:

    Minus the 88p bath plug as it will be full of minge hair by now

  159. 159

    Can anyone join in the abuse here, wankface?

  160. 160
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    You’ve got it all wrong — you should be sitting on her face, then the singing can proceed unimpeded.

  161. 161
    Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

    I and my boys are grateful Gordon. As long as the asylum seekers keep coming form the Home Office, we will keep sending you your cheque, even though your are not in power any more. After all, it was your idea in the first place. Boaz.

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    And he only got away with it thanks to the backing of current Labour hierarchy Millibandwagon,Balls and Cooper.

  163. 163
    STD-NOT !!!! says:

    errrrrrrr HELLO CRMM. KNOCK YOURSELF OUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  164. 164

    See you at your plaice for a beer?

  165. 165
    Diane Abbott says:

    That wacist woman!

  166. 166
    Woody Allen says:

    Come again ?

  167. 167

    It’s nice and quick driving in London on those lanes with circles in them. Anyone want to buy a Lebanese registered Toyota Landcruiser, BTW?

  168. 168

    I used to have a gf just like her – same first name even – but she could not play the guitar unfortunately. :-)

  169. 169
    Lou Scannon says:

    Your comment this morning about Blair and corruption set me wondering :
    Was Blair’s meeting with the Pope really about him converting to Catholicism or was it really the Evil One trying to convert the Pope to Blairism ?

  170. 170

    You are Jimmy having a Tourettes attack and I claim my 5 Tongan Paʻanga.

  171. 171
    Hamster says:

    Has Clarkson been anywhere near it ?

  172. 172

    Someone who stages a Second Coming easily trumps Christ’s Vicar On Earth.

  173. 173
    A Venusian says:

    He saved the world didnt he? Now he is welcome to come here and save us from global warming.

  174. 174
    st fm says:

    What yo on about blood… Who dis jimmy cat…? is he down with it like me or is he shagging his brothers, sisters hairdressers butchers parasitologists uncle???

    Anyway time for my bath salts, they calm me down …

  175. 175
    Diane Abbott says:


  176. 176

    The probable answer to all your questions is yes.

  177. 177
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Well it isnt exactly an answer to my question but what else can you expect from someone who calls himself ‘stupid twat fucks mother’ and abbreviates it.

  178. 178
    st fm says:

    If I was not seriously brain damaged and certifiably insane I would PMSL. But instead I have shit myself again.

  179. 179

    Don’t make any Wrasse decisions

  180. 180

    He will be when he discovers that they can’t touch you for it.

    Now! Want a Lebanese driving licence as well? £500.

    CD plates and full credentials? £25,000

    We do take cash.

  181. 181
    Jonah Brooone says:

    Sometimes when my poo is yellow it reminds me of gold and I want to sell it, Do you want to buy my yellow poo ? Mostly tho’ it is a Brown colour which reminds me it is mine. I did that :-)
    There are some other things that I did that weren’t quite as clever apparently but I’ve been told not to think about those things.

  182. 182

    Dykes in tights

  183. 183
    Lou Scannon says:

    Hmm … he certainly crawled out from behind a stone.

  184. 184
  185. 185
    Little Lord Fondlebum says:

    Euros or Real money ?

  186. 186

    Oh! Look! You’ve just spilt it all down your Frontilabrus.

  187. 187
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Surely those circles are Lebanese Loops ?

  188. 188
    stun says:

    Oh shit, not the NHS again

  189. 189
    intelligent comment of the decade says:

    st fm stfu.

  190. 190
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    And Sue. Someone has to be blamed when it all goes wrong.

  191. 191
    Fagin says:

    I prefer to pay in hashish, can I have 666D999 ?

  192. 192

    Nah! You can’t smoke those…

  193. 193
    Anon Voter says:

    Thanks for clip Aunty Matter

    The UN Secretary General Ban ki Moon should be sent a copy of
    very scary interview with Gordon McNut.Then UN SG will start to realise the great mistake he’s made & the dangers he’s is about to put disadvantage children to if McNut is allowed to swan around the world under UN auspices & starts to have some of his uncontrollable temper outbursts. Plus also the damage he can still do to what’s left of UK’s tattered reputation after his boss the Perma Tanned Bliar bomb the shit out of so many people.

    Why the blazes did’nt Cameron, our so called PM, block this nutters UN appointment, proves again why CMD, the out of touch Toff Liar who will only allowed one term and that looks even more likely it will be truncated because of events, outside of his manipulation & control.

    We all need to stand up & “VOTE UKIP” who are not perfect & have there
    own warts they may not wish to discuss, BUT we need to put an end to
    this continuing cycle of these devious manipulators of ConsLieLaborLibDems who’s main asset common to all 3 of them is there Fellowships in Mendacity.

    We the great unwashed just cannot afford to continue the luxury of this
    manipulated Merry Go Round any longer

    Its time for REAL Change & Real Accountability, the latter being back dated so the GUILTY ones are finally brought to book, & WE start to take back OUR COUNTRY.

  194. 194
    Nogbad the Bad says:

    It never fails to amaze me how he can list things that he completely fucked-up and say he wants to solve them, as if the fuck-ups were nothing to do with him.

  195. 195

    Either will do. I give 0.66p for a Euro currently. Did I mention there was a peer surcharge?

  196. 196
    Al Capone says:

    Did it come with the pepper pot finish as standard ?

  197. 197
    Little Lord Fondlebum says:

    What do you take me for ? I’ve already been given a hair-cut. Haven’t I suffered enough ?

  198. 198
    Kier Starmer says:

    Black pepper or white pepper???

  199. 199
    Frankies Fail says:

    I like reading a lot of your postings….pretty good std most of the time. Unfortunately this one is an epic fail. You obviously like being a weak and fat cu n tt.

  200. 200
    G4S does O2 says:

    What’s the betting Clarkson has devised a topgear challenge on how to exploit the Zil Lanes?

  201. 201
    Anon Voter now UKIP Supporter says:

    PLEASE can you post a DANGER sign

    to make us aware of really INDECENT IMAGES

    coming up of this OLD Scottish FAGGOT !!

    That will be of helpful for high BP suffers

    Thank you

  202. 202
  203. 203
    Saffron says:

    Gordoom is a complete English hater from his birth to right now,it is ingrained in him to hate the English.
    The backward society looking people who are Jocksters need to get into the 21st century and smell the coffee.
    Salmonid iss an ass hole only interested in his own fortunes,the guy is a latter day so called Robert the Bruce/William Wallace dreamer,if the majority of Jocksters fall for this guys inane ramblings,well I for one will conclude that they are thick.
    The so called hated English made Jockland what it is today,latterly do you remember folks the Barnett formula,which exsists to this day.
    This discredited formula is long past it’s sell by date,and this arrangement gives Jockland many advantages that right now don’t apply to ENGLAND.
    I for one wish that they would p–s off and do their own thing and then they will see whitch side their bread is buttered on.
    Good night to all and sleep tight.

  204. 204
    WHITE Tissue Manufacturer says:

    Is he still a closet Wanker then ??

  205. 205
    Anonymous says:

    Salmond and his Scots Nats are well aware of the advantages.
    That’s why any referendum on independence won’t be held for years so they can carry on milking the English for every penny while complaining about us at every opportunity.

  206. 206

    Anyone approaching 50 out there? You should be taking the new life prolonging Polypill. It has three blood pressure-lowering drugs and a cholesterol-lowering statin.

    Polypill Plus has added Viagra to increase the blood pressure again.

  207. 207
  208. 208

    If Scotchland has at least one big bank which is not being bailed out by the taxpayer then it is not in recession.

  209. 209
    Ah! Monika says:

    Newsnight interview with Alistair Burt. Script could have been written by the 2012 scriptwriters. brilliant. Only wish i knew how to capture on a youtube.

    And Bill Clinton has just said that Nelson Mandella’s colour looked better !!

  210. 210
    Steve "shagger" Norris says:

    Who needs Viagra?

  211. 211
    Ah! Monika says:

    Clinton, did I actually ‘ entertain’ this old buffoon.

  212. 212
    Al Capone says:

    Dunno, but the harlequin who did it probably got charged when he salted the battery.

  213. 213
    Fagin says:

    twins ?

  214. 214
    It comes to us all says:

    Must say I’m shocked. I haven’t paid any attention to Clinton since he left office and that is the first interview with him I have watched since. In my mind until now the image of “read my lips Bill” has been the man who did not have sexual relations with that woman and it was shocking to see that he is now a frail old man.

  215. 215
    Fredrick Percy Smythe-Johnson of Wapping High Street says:

    Here Here……well said

    Is’nt that CAMERON old Jock’s Name then ?

    Look at all the damage he’s doing to us

    by squeezing us Dry with TAX TAX TAX………

    If the Jocks do decided to cut their Free flowing Sterling

    Umbilical Pipe Line I Cerainly hope they do…..cant we

    Throw in CMD as a BONUS ??

    So we KILL two Old tarts with One Stone……..

  216. 216
    The Honourable John Mann MP says:

    I am a wanker.

  217. 217
    Abbott and Bercow says:

    What is it with these Socialists that they say one thing in public but in private send their kids to public school and employ servants to look after them?

  218. 218
    Can't remember my medication says:

    IVY!! Have I taken my Polypill yet?

  219. 219
    Anonymous says:

    Only half the mars bar fryers are in use

  220. 220
    Fagin says:

    I’ve been on here for a couple of weeks and to me it seems like a reasonable cross section of opinion so I wonder is why this Brown character is still walking the streets and not locked up.

  221. 221
    Anonymous says:

  222. 222
    Fagin says:

    it reminds me of my wives

  223. 223
    Ah! Monika says:

    Alegra Stratton earning her 30 pieces of tax free silver

  224. 224
    American Condom(Buy them first) Association Spokesperson says:

    Yes that goes to Prove that Long Thick Hand Rolled Cigars

    fondled by Monica are a real danger to your longevity………

    A.I.D.S effect is just a side issue……..

  225. 225
    Happyuk says:

    Reports out of Italy are stating for the first evertime in its long and demonically corrupt history, the Vatican was raided by Italian police on July 5, 2012, who were searching for evidence in an ongoing money laundering scandal growing worse by the week for the Holy See. (Here is the original report on an Italian news channel, TGCOM 24.)


    Money laundering???? First HSBC, now the Vatican!

  226. 226
    Ah! Monika says:

    I’m putting one up on ebay. DNA authenticated.

  227. 227
    Anonymous says:

    Of course the left are against blanket stereotyping….

    (Except for the whole classwar thingy.)

  228. 228
    No.10's fornication transgender spokesperson says:

    Cameron is an active supporter of “We are all in this Together”
    as long as it does not involve him…….

  229. 229

    The upside is that there are many more virgins in Arkansas now that their ex-Senator can’t run faster than they can.

  230. 230
    Fagin says:

    lol funnier would have been if I had said it reminds me of my family. oh well another opportunity lost.

  231. 231
    South of the M4 says:

    I am approaching 50 – but from the wrong direction. Where does that leave me?

  232. 232
    Silly Sally Bigcow. says:

    Our chauffeur had to take our nanny to Chelsea and then the au pair had to take her some food cooked by our chef.

  233. 233
    A Bigot to die for says:

    More to the point, I wonder why Dave could not beat him outright. Gordon was every opposition leader’s dream incumbent.

  234. 234
    Robert Kilroy Silk says:

    “reasonable cross section of opinion”


  235. 235
    Great British Public says:

    Brown, Balls and Milibandwagon all have questions to answer.

    In government they were a total shambles.

  236. 236
    Red Ken Lyingscum says:

    Strip out the Postal Voters and the Tories would probably have won by a landslide.

  237. 237
    Big Dick's Old Brother but now his Sister after the US Tax Funded Operation says:

    And what about your infamous Dress ??

    Is that still in the CIA vaults in Virginia ??

    PS Not implying you are a untouched Virgin

    as my kid brother Big Dick had you years ago

    behind the old bike shed…but as everyone has

    ridden you perhaps you are unable to recall this

    big cock up….

  238. 238

    :-) Go out and start again…

  239. 239
    Agamemnon says:

    No-one dares lay a finger on him – it’s like King Midas in reverse.

  240. 240
    Cash 4 tests says:

    Ever since the local doctors has been sending out junk mail by the ton to come in and take this test and that test, fill in the questonaire and enter a prize draw. I’ve become a tad sceptical of their moyives.

  241. 241
    Fagin says:

    really ? ( don’t have a telly ) is he not looking good ? I am a bit distressed, being a baby boomer myself, I have a great fondness for Bill

  242. 242
    SAGA says:

    Come on in. We are here to rip you off.

  243. 243
    It comes to us all says:

    Yes really. I’m afraid the sight old Bill now is not a cheery thing for Baby Boomers. On the lighter side, his missus is holding up well though.

  244. 244
    LieLabours Manipulation & Mendacity Spokesperson fully trained Bliar & Assoc's says:

    Yes that took a great deal of time & effort to get all postal
    votes in on time even though they were posted months & months
    before the election was called, thats the problem with snail mail
    its so bloody slow.

    Thats why we have already posted 10 million postal
    votes for the 2015 election which Red ED will win with a massive
    landside victory with a small amount of help from the BBC.

    The Tories & Lib Dems will not win a seat between
    them & they all lose there deposits so we will have the first true one party
    state out of all EUSSR since the 1930’s

  245. 245
    Bunny Austin says:

    Conceived in the back of an …..
    Is that physically possible ?

  246. 246
    Peter Stringfellow says:

    Too much champagne?

  247. 247

    Who made the nanny pregnant anyway?

    Did convention hold and the Speaker remain unopposed?

  248. 248
    Contrarian says:

    Sell High. Buy Low.

    Sell Gold. Buy Banks.

    It will take time but that is the way to go now.

  249. 249
    Biase Broadcasting Company (We know who you are & Where you are) Commondant says:

    Have you Made your WILL ???

    Leaving everything you own plus bequeathing everything

    your family’s futures generations may acquire to the Mother STATE ???

    If not why Not ??

    Get on with it before we VISIT You…….

  250. 250

    Its a toss-up as to whether Monika has aged better or worse than Bill.

    In a manner of speaking.

  251. 251

    All you have to do then is work out how you can live for another hundred years in order to make a profit.

  252. 252
    Fagin says:

    My mother, god bless her suicide vest, used to suck my private part when I was a baby to give me pleasant dreams and to stop my crying, my brother Mustav used to watch from his cot and later he would come to my cot and continue sucking my private. this gave me happy sleeps. now that we are in ours 20’s I am not sure that it is right that Mustav go down on me but mother says that it is normal. Tomorrow my new friend is giving me a special waistcoat. I will report back how it looks on me.

  253. 253
    Viagra Strappon says:

    Bend over sonny and I’ll show you the silver ware!

  254. 254
    Contrarian says:

    You only reinforce my post. Buy at the time of most pessimism and sell at the time of most optimism.

    Of course no one knows when most is but I reckon the banks are close to rock bottom plus or minus a few years.

  255. 255

    You are from Tower Hamlets, aren’t you?

    I can tell.

  256. 256
    JH says:

    It’s BABYFATHER. Evry fule kno dat.

    A friend of mine knew it was time to emigrate when at his office a white girl asked a white colleague about her white baby, “Ooooose the babyfarva?”

    Few cultures have embraced destruction as eagerly as we.

  257. 257
    Ex MP watch says:

    Jacqui Smith down in the Smoke doing the Sky Paper review. I doubt Murdoch will pay her to stay at her sister’s.

  258. 258
    Diane Abbopotamus says:

    You whites love to play divide and rule.

    Must dash, going to the wall for my kids. The wall of their private school. Where I pick them up.

  259. 259

    My thought developed along the lines that McBrown had claimed to have abolished boom and bust when in fact all he abolished was optimism. Ergo, we are in a long cycle of bust not hugely dissimilar to Japan’s two lost decades of deflation.

    I may be a bit out of it now but I cannot see how we can break out of it for at least two decades and possibly much longer. The only volatility we get now is a knee-jerk reaction to anything that might have been published five minutes ago.

    It is way beyond my inadequate powers to see through this veritable thicket of non-information and chaotic occurrences. There are no detectable patterns which I can identify. Why should banks not stay on the floor for another five years? Or even drop further? What other malpractices are lurking away there waiting for someone to blow the whistle about?

    I don’t believe anything I hear nowadays and even dismiss most of what I see.

  260. 260
    JH says:

    “An independent Scotland going on a public sector spending spree using the English credit card.”

    And that will be different to now… how exactly?

  261. 261
    Fagin says:

    My mother used to suck my private part when I was a baby to give me pleasant dreams and to stop my crying, my brother Mustavawank used to watch from his cot and later he would come to my cot and continue sucking my private. this gave me happy sleeps. now that we are in our 20′s I am not sure that it is right that Mustavawank go down on me night after night but mother says that it is normal. Tomorrow my religious mentor is giving me a special waistcoat. I will report back how it looks on me.

  262. 262
    London Muslim says:

    Only 10 million?

  263. 263

    Amazing the languages this woman can speak:


  264. 264
    Fagin says:

    off planet growth solves all problems. no pollution on the planet, population growth is diverted off planet. Humongous amounts of free shit if you can get there. simples

  265. 265
    Tachybaptus says:

    She’s shown as saying, ‘Denis didn’t want the eight annoying English children.’ Sadly, about as funny as Rich and Mark.

  266. 266
    Northern Monkey says:

    Lol at your monika. V. Funny.

  267. 267
    time 4 dave says:

    Firm leadership required. Cameron must now step in and take over Olympic jitters.

  268. 268
    not a machine says:

    The true cost of Gordon Browns and Labours polices , will be a most interesting topic someday , the Pm thinks we may be looking at 2020 before things become better , as Ken Clark said 7yrs to put it right , which is roughly half the time again that labour was in office , we have ended up loaning £40bn to the IMF , quite a few £bn lost on nationalisation of 50% of uk banking sector , and other banks still on repair of balance sheets to have capital reserves for risks they were taking . We now hear Scicilly may be in trouble before Spain and In France it could yet wash up there .
    If you think back to his public order legislation , i wonder if he knew such a monumental loss of the nations finances would lead to to problems .

    We are paying for Labours policies , somthing I doubt I can forgive , even though for some it all seems so long ago , they managed to corrupt just about every government department they ran , up pops Tony in his capsule , totally oblivious that 10s of millions of people have been crapped on big time , because , he did nothing about EU debts , He did nothing about UK debts when PM , literally from the moment he was plotted against and separted , to 2020 will be near 12 yrs of repair and slog , near enough the whole time Labour were in office , “Things can only get better” if only we had known it was a big lie right from 1997 .By the way I ended up with £12mn , while all of you who kept voting for me , ended up in the gutter . What a wikipedia entry .

    I know its difficult not be cynical when Banks CEOs have multi £mn bounus , but i genuinely felt , that there was an effort from BOE and Mr Tyrie in quisitions , to not only lift the drains , but perhaps consider how much they had been bored out to , to accomdate Labours polices , hard to quantify just how much he manged to get to the nations financial drains .

    So do we get to 2020 , and Ed milliband gets into office on the promise , that building a series of atmopshere controllers and flying saucer cars and free cosmetic surgery for all , and it will all be forgotten . I briefly entertained what a Tony vs Dave PMqs would be like , perhaps it would be novel first few times , like a former champions tennis show match , but then somehow you know , that Dave would have to win and we would see that expression that Tony had , when he lost control of the lib lab pact , the brownites were coshing the Balirites and those cold exchanges that took place in the months before Tony stepped down , and without ever being elected , the man who managed to empty a whole nations future , took office , to lead in in the very maelstrom of finance he had helped engineer .
    The brief I presume was that we needed an iron Cancellor in tough times , someone who had been to appear so competant by the press in his chancellor years , the conservatives never doubted his spending plans were made up .

    I hope the banking commision has some thoughts about what they know , that happened , it perhaps my be nice to consider if all those mutual societies and mergers that the ruin waived on as good for the nation , were not just the begining of his totally mad attempt at socialism and EUSSR . In a bizarre way coalition politics has saved the lib dems , from any questions about what they understood what Labour were doing to the finances in the Lib Lab Pact , I mean if some of think Labour should be strung up for all the years of pain , seems a shame not consider how short the collbaoraters spoon in the jam pot was , in actuality .

    i wonder what happened to those countries where Gordon and Tony helped write the debt off , only 5 yeras later from saving those countries and we had the biggest debts abd deficets going , there is perhaps a lesson in it, even big lies can be found out in the end :)

  269. 269
    Tachybaptus says:

    Firm leadership required. Cameron must now step down.

  270. 270
    Some Geezer wot knows a million corny jokes says:

    The way I heard it originally:
    “Definition of a [select rural Southern State] virgin = a teenager that can outrun her Pappy.”
    (A bit rougher than your version, CRMM!)

  271. 271
    not a machine says:

    Some of us still have Vintage Guido to remember and savour , the screen , the muffled voice , drink and acid house club confessions , schillings law suits , Mcbride and Draper . Old holborn , alas found his shangrila , the MPs expenses was perhaps his finest hour . I dont know where to start on what his best post ever is , as for balance ….. its a shame you missed what it was like on here before the election , Guido could be quite the blade , and if you owned a site and he blogged on it , was major street cred , but we more of a rabble in those days , political blogging was as near to Robin Hood as you could feel .

  272. 272
    The Chief Of The Umpa Lumpas says:

    On second thought, stay home, Gordon. We’re doing all right as is with Mr Wonka– we shouldn’t like to have Mr Wanker come in and bollocks things up!

  273. 273
    Marmite says:

    10/10 from me too Aunty Matter. What a shame this can’t be put on the television, like they have those party political 2 minute broadcasts.

  274. 274
    Jose Lottauros says:

    Caramba! Isn’t that BT Infinity advert both misogynist and racist, portraying young women and Spanish people as exploiters and spongers?

  275. 275
    All Socialists are Hypocrites says:

    A peerage ?

  276. 276
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Did you think that way with Railtrack and Northern Rock and Lloyds and RBS?

    I doubt we have seen the end of the pain or the revelations for banks. There is still lot of dirt to come out yet. And with western economies in so much debt and having to print billions of new currency just to keep afloat, gold is one of the only safe investments. Meanwhile the Eurozone shambles drifts on dragging more and more economies into its black hole.

    Seriously anybody who thinks the current financial crisis is anywhere near to being resolved is deluded and listening far too much to the same economists who failed to see the problems that unregulated banks and the Euro would cause.

  277. 277
    David one-term-is-all-I-need-to-finish-the country Cameron says:

    My fellow mock Conservatives and I have almost completed what Liebour started. We’ve started packing our bags and we’ll be heading off for Oblivion shortly.


  278. 278
    2012: A Spaced Odyssey says:

    Can’t we just beg NASA to put Brown on one of their rockets and send him into outer space aiming right towards a Black Hole?

  279. 279

    Briefly ;-)

    1. Some will think you are overdoing it in your first paragraph. IMO you have underestimated the recovery time. It could take half a century or more.

    2. We have had almost five years of ghastly revelations, popping out of the woodwork one by one, each one showing complete areas of civic and commercial life to be swarming with maggots. What makes you think we have uncovered the full extent of the depth and breadth of these exposures?

  280. 280
    Gordon Brown says:

    No need for that, I’ve succeeded in creating a black hole right here on Earth.
    No more Big Bang – we’re Bust.

  281. 281
    Cheap cheap says:

    Your as bad as lunatic Brown wasting money, can’t you come up with a better proposal that costs the taxpayer a few pence.

  282. 282
    JH says:

    The first bank run in over 200 years on your watch was down to Thatcher.

    She started in America.

  283. 283

    Cost/benefit switch-over point a century away at least IMO.

  284. 284

    The humour lies in the knowledge that there is some truth disclosed thereby.

  285. 285
    JH says:

    What has the other dimension he might travel to done to deserve Gordon?

    Never mind, if he fucks up their economy too he can claim it all started in this dimension.

  286. 286
    Oh says:

  287. 287
    Andy Murray says:

    You ungrateful English Hunt.

    I got to the Wimbledon finals on your English money.

    Bastards ! Give me some more !

  288. 288
    SP4BS says:

    Well yes. We could beg them, but they don’t have any spacecraft to take people 200km from earth, never mind quite a few light years away. HTH.

  289. 289
    Ironside says:

    Soros analysed the 2008 crash as a 60 year bubble……..

  290. 290
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    Get Britain out of Europe.

    If it win’s votes then it will be Nasty Party policy !

  291. 291
    Camertwat says:

    I too, – like Gordon Brown, – am full of shit!

  292. 292
    Meddy Eavil Peesant says:

    ? Burning at the stake + you get heat and light

  293. 293
    Meddy Eavil Peesant says:

    Actucally a bit shocked that got through! – it’s got the dreaded eee aaaa combo – something about a (not east) Indy re cypee ? Didn’t spot til after

  294. 294
    Meddy Eavil Peesant says:

    Fuck you ‘Dave’ – you shallow pasty faced arse hole! Take your mock copns and join the fire with Gorodn!

  295. 295
    SP4BS says:

    you know in “silence of the lambs”, there’s an offer of a place with a view of a tree, and it turns out to be a god forsaken toxic island somewhere in the middle of nowhere. Somewhere like that.

    (for any dim buggers out there, this is a feeder for jokes about dire places in the UK).

  296. 296
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Bet you would still rather “knock one out” that climb on that gert sack of shit

  297. 297
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    And Richards Butt Plug

  298. 298
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Bet she could play the Furry Banjo though ?

    Mornin mate !

  299. 299
    Ed Miliband (Leader of the Party opposite) says:

    David Cameron is visiting Afghanistan.

    Will their suffering never end ?

  300. 300
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    She’s got some Brass ! and some lead pipe and a bit of copper cable “to be sure”

  301. 301
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    My wife knows Alistair Burt from when he was a sprog !

  302. 302
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    She might be as mad as a bucket of frogs
    but she can still remember to claim £109,000 expenses

  303. 303
    Gordon Brown says:

    If they wouldn’t have me lighting the flame, then I’m not coming.

    See how they like that.

  304. 304
    The Shameless BBC says:


    Global warming innit?


  305. 305
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Thats because the mascots were modeled on him !

  306. 306
    Nursie says:

    Stop throwing your toys out of the pram little man, or no crumpets for tea!

  307. 307
    CRMM, terrahawk and spastic mental cripple says:

    Mornin mate, now fuck off.

  308. 308
    My entry for the Caption Comp says:

    = Laughing Twat

  309. 309

    It must be the perspective that age brings.

  310. 310

    @Frankie She kept it very neatly trimmed and I ran my bow against it many thousands of delightful times.

  311. 311
    Stick 'em up says:

    When it’s a leap year..

  312. 312
    Stick 'em up says:

    We should now counter-claim from the Kenyans for all the young squaddies they butchered in cold blood.

  313. 313
    Stick 'em up says:

    I hadn’t realised you were an Ozzie!

  314. 314
    Seamus O'Deer says:

    2 Irish guys are stranded on an iceberg. One turns to the other and says,
    “we’re saved, we’re saved, here comes the Titanic”

  315. 315
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    …plus the effect of rigged constituencies, which introduced a systemic bias – the same thing which gave Blair his original victory over poor, satirist-besmirched John Major.

    If there was a shred of doubt that the LibDems retained any taint of honesty, their threat to block boundary reform removes it.

  316. 316
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    ‘Sunny Dave’ Cameron shares your outlook – unless you are he?

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Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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