July 17th, 2012

Guardian CEO Leading Group Counselling Sessions
Employee Briefings Today Ahead of Cuts

gmg Andrew Miller

Andrew Miller, Guardian Media Group CEO, is leading the group counselling sessions today for the doomed Guardian hacks losing £100,000-a-day:

From: Andrew Miller

To : bcc: all.notes.users

As you know, today Alan and I are hosting all-staff briefings in hall one downstairs.

Please check with your department coordinator which session you are booked to attend – they start at 10.30am, 12.45pm, 2.45pm and 5.00pm and will last just over an hour each.

A couple of points to note: please arrive 5-10 minutes before your scheduled session – latecomers will not be admitted into the hall after the session has started. Also, food and drink is not permitted in hall one so you will be asked to leave any refreshments outside.

Your feedback is really important to us. There will be an opportunity to ask questions during the sessions, and we would also like to invite you to share your comments and questions on the noticeboard next to the canteen throughout the day.

If you would like to share your feedback or questions with us confidentially, please email transformation@guardian.co.uk



  1. 1
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Just call in the bailiffs and stop fucking around. You could get a wholesale rate if the do the ‘Independent’ at the same time.


  2. 2
    my sympathy has bounds says:

    HA HA !!


  3. 3
    Nullbymouth says:

    Anyone still using Lotus Notes deserves to be shut down


    • 46
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      I only clicked on the comments to make exactly that same point, but you’d beaten me to it….!

      The direst group IT solution known to man. I’m surprised it’s still out their in the wild. Can’t be long now.


  4. 4
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    ‘Your feedback is really important to us.’

    Cue Vivaldi and 30 minute wait for connection.


  5. 6
    Gordon Brown says:

    I can advise on re-education as I am now the worlds fucking expert


    • 16
      Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

      What about an apostrophe in ‘world’s’, and a full stop at the end of the sentence? So much for ejukashen, ejukashen, ejukashen.


  6. 9
    EdMiliband says:

    Pwedators! Who’d have thought the Guardian ith in favour of cutth!

    Next you’ll tell me the BBC ith full of Tax Avoiderth!


  7. 10
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    “We would really like to help you in your search for new employment, but we are so skint that that will be a problem as well; it may not help much in your cases anyway, as you’re ugly, you’re stupid, and your Mum dresses you funny…”


  8. 11
    Kevin T says:

    I was at the Financial Times when they made people redundant in their dozens so this brings back memories.

    Any Guardian employees reading this –

    Ask Miller and Rusbridger if they would be prepared to forego their bonuses and/or take salary cuts to save jobs.

    Someone did that at the FT and you never saw such discomfort and embarrassment. Should be even more painful to the alleged right on lefties running the Guardian.


    • 14
      Kevin T says:

      Did I mention before that the Unite union, which represented many of the FT workers who were let go did fuck all to help, to the great frustration of their reps in the company?


      • 17
        To be a pilgrim says:

        Do they have full time union reps paid for by the company?


        • 26
          Kevin T says:

          No. They did union work in their own time and were allowed to use some work time in the case of situations like major redundancies.

          No private company would employ full time pilgrims. Are you kidding?


      • 18
        Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

        Unite are only interested in public sector employees. Apparently, some arrogant union official, not so long ago, said something like, “People in the private sector probably can’t afford our subscriptions, so they don’t join us.” Who’da thunk it? The unions want the rest of us to eat cake.


      • 34
        Randolph Hirst says:

        Oh you’re that kevin t aren’t you ?? — I remeber you now you were the FT correspondent in the 1960’s charged with writing articles promoting British entry into the EEC .

        Made you redundant you say …….


  9. 12
    Kevin T says:

    I like the “no food” bit. Especially eggs and tomatoes I don’t doubt.


    • 39
      Anti Fabian says:

      Or they intend to lock the surplus staff in the basement and let them starve to death to save on redundancy.


  10. 15
    Aunty Matter says:

    Hundreds of Guardian cannon fodder will be asked to lay down their jobs to keep fat Polly in her £150k a year

    I suspect the BBC will actually step in and bale out the Guardian somehow.


    • 19
      Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

      Nailed-on certainty. It’s only the Guardian’s monopoly on public sector job adverts that’s kept that rotten, lousy, stinking ship afloat the last few years.


    • 24
      Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

      I suspect the BBC will take them on as self-employed journalists (no tax or NI payable). There will be even more marxists in the BBC Newsroom.


    • 25
      One for the pot says:

      Polly was on Dateline London last weekend. Switched on by accident and right put me off my cornflakes. Poor sod to her right couldn’t get a word in sideways as as she kept shouting him down. Could not watch to the end.

      Happily though I don’t pay the telly tax, but Gavin Essler did seem to be having multiple orgasms under the table.


      • 28
        JH says:

        Standard modus operandi of the left, shout down the opposition the second they start making a point you know you have absolutely no answer to.

        They need to be ignored altogether. No point engaging in their definition of ‘debate’.


        • 41
          HJ says:

          Standard modus operandi of the right: ignore any criticism and pretend it doesn’t exist. All is for the best in the best of all possible market scams.


  11. 20
    Beeboid One says:

    We are certainly not going to mention this piece of news as we believe it is not in the public interest. Also we do not promote rumours unless it is in our interest to do so – in other words anything that runs against the current government and helps our Labour Party comrades out of their hole.


  12. 21
    Millipede 1 - the one everyone gets confused about. says:

    I support bananas


  13. 22
    Will.iam Caxton says:

    Face the facts. The Guardian is close to extinct.

    Bring back the News Of The World. A real paper that told things as they are. Dodgy vicars, MPs, footballers, no-hoper celebrities and overpaid Z-list losers have been unexposed for way too long. A better source for BBC news stories too.


  14. 23
    will says:

    The guardian readership is still falling along with all other papers. Its a question of who has the deepest pockets. Whilst the guardian has reserves of cash in hand. It has lost money on its other ventures and sold them such ass its radio and local newspapers. All it has is a second hand car mag to keep it afloat long term.

    Also if you have read the paper (or looked online) many of its articles seem to have been written by interns or new journalists. I bet only people like rushberger or polly are making any real money.

    As my newsagent said “people are not buying newspaper like they used to” And i trust him more than the guardian.


    • 30
      Cheese Lover says:

      I think the car ad magazine is due to go on line only shortly. Leaves them with very little.


    • 42
      CHRIST ON A BIKE! says:

      Since the last election, out of all the national daily papers, the Guardian has had one of the worse dips in circulation (second only to the Daily Star). And yet, it was being claimed by some before the election, that their circulation would improve because of a Conservative Government. Well, that this hasn’t happened (coalition or not), in fact the Daily Mirror is talking about becoming more politically neutral (rather than the pathetic Labour fanzine it has always been) and the Daily Mail’s circulation has held up the best! You can’t help wondering that the left-wing/Labour loving media (the bits that people voluntarily pay for) isn’t exactly popular. But hey ho! i’m sure the polls are right and Milliband is going to fly into number 10 on Blair ’97 levels of support! lol

      Scrap the licence fee and Labour loving news will really be a bit thin on the ground!


  15. 27
    Anonymous says:

    But how will I pay the school fees. Can’t possible send him to a state school its far too enriched these days.


  16. 29
    I really, really can't be arsed says:

    Thank you, Guido, for so helpfully sharing the emaild address to which we may send our suggestions!


    • 37
      Thoma Aquinas says:

      i’ve already done it

      give me the will to be literally compassionate Lord — but not yet


  17. 31
    Anonymous says:

    Trouble is Guardian is losing a shed load of money and yet has a voluntary redundancy policy = the experienced staff near to retirement age go and the ones you need to get rid of stay.

    Most of writers in CIF sound like they have swallowed the works of Marx and need to live in the real world!


  18. 32
    LoopyLeftie says:

    How do you have feedback without food?


  19. 36
    Thoma Aquinas says:

    wow moddy you’re still earning g your schekels . i thought youd gone to that great moderation room in the sky where silence isall pervading and (written/ verbal ) ejaculations are severely punished



  20. 40
    CHRIST ON A BIKE says:

    Bet ya a couple of BBC representatives will be there gathering up CVs.


  21. 44
    Desperate Dan says:

    Alan Rusbridger and Ian Katz should do the decent thing and resign. Its their nasty editorial policies that have driven readers away. All that’s left now is their hard core, special needs readers.


    • 45
      Desperate Dan says:

      Why has this comment been moderated? I didn’t mention Israel or the saintly J*wish community. Oh. I see. The verboten word must be ‘Katz’.


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