July 12th, 2012

Tory Rebels Keep Jobs

With Conor Burns quitting and Angie Bray being sacked for refusing to walk the line on Lords reform, eyebrows have been raised about other job-holding Tories who rebelled, but have somehow managed to stay in their party posts, nominally in the gift of the party leader.

Geoffrey Clifton-Brown is head of the International Office at CCHQ. His former deputy there was Mark Pritchard, who made a big fuss about resigning a while back specifically so that he could vote against the leadership. Precedent has been set…

Nicola Blackwood is a Vice Chairman of the Conservative Party with responsibility for Social Action. Not for long though surely?

Charlotte Leslie is Cameron’s Big Society Ambassador. A job that her local paper claims makes her a “lynch pin” in the project. How will it cope?

Will they face the high jump or will the Whips turn a blind eye?

UPDATE: It’s a no comment from CCHQ.


  1. 1
    Competition to find most pointless job in all of history says:

    “Big Society Ambassador”

    I think we have a winner.

    • 3
      erm... says:

      in other news we have the EU Commisioner claiming…
      it’s EU or obscurity for Britain.
      who is going to blink first?…….the freedom fighters or the status climbers.

      • 29
        The Shining + Blair Witch Project says:

        Hi guys…..Tone’s back!!

        • 34
          Tony Blair, Millionaire says:

          Yes sirree…..I am creeping my way back into your lives……advising pathetic Ed……the Pope…..Her Madge……it’s me……a regular kinda guy……and at £100 a word I’ll even write for Guido……

      • 96
        AC1 says:

        Well you do get in the news a lot when you’re economies imploding because it’s run by a bunch of marxist relics.

        We’d all prefer nice wealthy obscurity over noisy poverty.

      • 115
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        There’s mileage in that “obscurity” thing. That Barossa thinks a country should aim for domination and prestige, rather than just get on with things.

        • 119
          AC1 says:

          Like Obscure Switzerland and Obscure Norway.

          They’re economies are doing SO badly…

        • 126
          erm... says:

          unsure whether status= dom. does that mean that a sub has no status. anyhow….
          in the real world …status = respect.
          but then we love our freedom too.
          is it all about identity? we are all united by the Queen.
          .what does she represent.

    • 7
      Noodle Poodle says:

      I think it is time to have an election. Problem is, who is going to lead the Conservatives?

      • 14
        Anonymous says:

        Tony Blair is free.

        Well, not exactly ‘free’ but very reasonable rates are available.

      • 78

        Which Conservatives – the LieBore Conservatives – motto: Spend, Spend, Tax, Tax, Make more Laws, be made an MEP & Relax!,

        Or the Tory Conservatives – motto: We might be in this together chaps, but your really on your your own, now pay ALL of your tax.

        Or the Limp Dumb conservatives – motto: We know everything there is about rent boys and poo, but as far as running the country’s concerned we haven’t got a fucking clue.


      • 82
        Voter says:

        Personally I’d like to hang all party whips. As a voter and tax payer, they undermine my democracy and are my enemy. A party that uses whips is not democratic, so don’t vote for them.

      • 110
        M says:

        perhaps Tony would like to organise the security detail on the olympics . sounds like a truck load of tax payers cash is being trousered there with no result or sign of it getting returned .
        This is Tonys field of expertise

        Tony says :
        Takes me back to my J. P. Morgan days

    • 13
      Trent Lock says:

      The BBC are going big on the Big Society this morning. The Big Society is canals and the BBC likes canals.

      • 23
        concrete pump says:

        For a brief moment there i thought you wrote ‘the big society is banal and the BBC likes anal’.

  2. 2
    Old Grumpy says:

    I suspect the whips will turn a blind eye. While reform is essential, it must not either affect the primacy of the Commons, nor must it be a backdoor access to Political Power for minor Parties!……….. Whether the LibDims like it or not, there is, within their ranks, a Trotskyite Tendency!………. and this small core have infiltrated their inner Policy Infrastructure!

  3. 4
    Camertwat, having again taken leave of his senses, says:

    ‘Work makes you free’ – or as Angie might say – “Arbeit macht frei” – or so I’ve been told.

    I wouldn’t know myself as I’ve never ever done a day’s work – that I know of!

    And as for loyalty! Pah! No time for it! – I go where the power, plunder, and profit is – just like Phoney B£iar – whom, as you know, started his own Noo£ieB$re scam!

    • 15
      Fawkbender says:

      Cammers, old lovey, you did say that you were that you were the heir of B’Liar, so we known what you do and think

  4. 5
    gramma says:

    Why the egyptian picture Guido?
    Are you suggesting Cameron himself is in de nile.
    For MPs fighting the Tory cause , he takes first place in rebelling concerning Conservative basics. The man has lost his way.

    • 11
      Fawkbender says:

      Guido is probably trying to suggest that that Cameron is trying to he his rebel slaves to do as he says, he is team leader isn’t he?

      • 31
        a non says:

        A Tory pyramid plan, with Dave as Tootandcomein.?

      • 56
        David Camoron says:

        Well, slavery has made a bit of a come-back in 21st Century Britain.

        Odd, isn’t it? We people being held as slaves, we have children being killed because they’re ‘witches’, we have other children being killed and chopped-up to make magic potions. What could all these things have in common?

        Ah, yes, immigrants. Aren’t they wonderful? See how they enrich our society?

    • 37
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      There is no place for gramma Nazis on this esteemed organ.

    • 45
      King Tut says:

      Cameron’s economic policy is a pyramid scheme

  5. 6
    Fawkbender says:

    Guido to folks not in the know, you are talking about unknown unknowns but want to be known. Who are these people anyway they are not nationally known outside the Con party, and what on earth is the non job, Cameron’s Big Society Ambassador, which by most standards seems to be derided by all sides as a non starter

  6. 8
    Pisswilliam says:

    Nicola Blackwood is my local MP and so far her only activity in parliament has been line-toeing to an obsequious level. Didn’t realise she had the balls to rebel over anything.

    • 20
      nellnewman says:

      I bet my mp shailesh vara didn’t rebel just like he didn’t rebel over the eu referendum vote.

      No doubt he be hoping cameron gives him a job currently held by a rebel.

    • 26
      Fawkbender says:

      Maybe she is seeing where the land lies and getting ready for all eventualities

      • 76
        a non says:

        Maybe she is seeing where the lies land and getting ready for all eventualities?

        • 97
          Dave is a wet! says:

          I have a theory. Cameron not upset at all about the rebellion. Some of those who voted against Lord reforms like Nicola Blackwood are uber-loyalists, the most pro-Cameron people in the country. Cameron spent most of Sunday at Wimbledon and most of Monday at the Olympic torch relay. He was hardly whipping up the troops before the vote. Cameron is happy that Clegg hasn’t got his way on Lords reform and made sure some of his friends voted with the rebels.

  7. 9
    David Camoron says:

    Morning, chaps and chapettes! Uhm, look, spot of bother this morning. You know I give away £11billion every year in aid to countries that don’t need it? Well, to afford that, I had to make some cuts, you see, and since we don’t under any circumstances need an army, I cut that and sacked thousands of soldiers. Well, here’s the thing, it turns out we do need them, after all! Crikey, who’d have thought it? There’s some event coming up – not sure how I missed it – an Olympicy thingy, and it turns out we forgot to hire any security bods, so I’m going to have to re-hire all the soldiers I didn’t think we’d ever need again. About a week after getting rid of them.

    Terribly embarrassing, I feel a tad foolish, I can tell you, what what! So anyway, if you chaps spot any destitute soldiers living in cardboard boxes, could you let them know I need them ASAP? That would be awfully good of you!

    Toodle pip!

    • 30
      Fawkbender says:

      Cammers old bean, after you have treated the squaddies as you have, you don’t expect them to jump to your pleading do you?

  8. 10

    What exactly is the Conservative Party?

    • 17
      nellnewman says:

      It’s not sure at the mo – it’s taking counsellinng and trying to find itself.

    • 47
      Fawkbender says:

      It seems like a coalition of 2 or 3 parties claiming to be one, a bit like the Roman Church, the catholic means free from provincial prejudices or attachments, (that canot be right), the Roman Catholic Church comes under the authority of the Pope but has disparate “christian” beliefs in other parts of the world.

    • 68
      Gonk says:

      Sort of.. wet and beige

      • 101

        suppresses inconvenient truths, enslaves entire nations with false doctrins, pleads poverty when have fantastic wealth? Yep could be either – lets hope they don’t take up the unofficial pastime of many catholic priests around the world though – our kids have enough to worry about.

    • 106
      AC1 says:


      A brand of Marxism called Keynesian.

  9. 12
    Wow! says:

    This is all so exciting.

  10. 16
    nellnewman says:

    Bit difficult to sack everybody who rebelled – there’d be nobody left to fill the posts. poor hapless cameron .

    And cleggie? well words fail me -he’s clearly no cut out for politics

    • 18

      Which of them are cut out for politics, nowadays?

      You would have trouble counting them out on the fingers of two hands.

      • 24
        nellnewman says:

        Sadly that is very true but I don’t remember time when all three party leaders were so unsuitable and useless as they are now.

        There is no-one in politics that strikes me as statesmanlike.

        • 44
          Tony Bliar, Greatest Labour Leader of All Time says:

          I’m available! If you have me back, I promise I won’t lie too much, and I’ll certainly try to not kill as many people as I did last time.

          Actually, a bit of that was a lie. Most of it, really. Let’s núke Iran.

          • Fawkbender says:

            Sorry, Mr. B’Liar, I am afraid we will have to reject your application on the grounds that you are demanding too much money, there arecertain things that have come to light regarding your previos tenure.

          • nellnewman says:

            I fancy the country couldn’t afford bliar’s fees any more and to have to put up with his weird wife all over our screens and newspapers again with her new age crystals and odd friends is more than I could bear.

            And we can’t afford another war Thank the Lord gordon spent all the money.

          • Two alligators are living in the river Thames – they meet on the embankment just by the Houses of Parliament one night, and one is shocked to see how painfully, painfully thin his friend is.
            “Have you not been eating enough?” he says
            “I’ve been eating loads, but it doesn’t seem to fill me” is the reply.
            “What HAVE you been eating?” comes the intelligent question!
            “MP’s” his friend replies, with admirable brevity.
            “How do you bring them down?”
            “I drag them down the bank and into the water, shake the shit out of them, drown them, then eat them when they are tenderised after a day or two”
            “Well, there’s your problem! You’re not getting ANY calories! After you’ve shaken the shit out of any modern MP, all your left with is a greasy handshake and a fake smile!

      • 41
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        I can’t count them on the fingers of two feet.

    • 38
      Cameron says:

      … let them eat those pasty things then! – I care not!

  11. 21

    Won’t too many sackings cause a backbench revolt and a leadership challenge ?

    • 25
      nellnewman says:

      Let’s hope so – at least the tories do have a reputation for being ruthless in getting rid of failed leaders – maybe they need to start planning.

      • 58
        Fawkbender says:

        But who else have they got left to lead them during teir wilderness years, Nell, they tried quite a few leaders and everyone was found wanting, the Cons. are becoming a very disparate party just as Liebore became before and during their wilderness years.

  12. 21
    Cash for Votes says:

    So the reason why there are so many MPs with government none jobs these days is that unless they do what number ten says then their wages are more than halved overnight. Though I do hear their redundancy terms are more than generous.

  13. 28

    The private security firm G4S in charge of Olympic security cannot supply enough people for security duty at the games
    So 3,500 troops will be supplied at our expense to fill the shortfall
    Bet they won’t be getting a bonus !

    • 48
      Pongo says:

      But they will get London allowance, subsistance, a month off duties, a piss up every night, extra leave, totty, a good laugh, more totty and a story to bore everyone for years to come.

      • 62
        Fawkbender says:

        “a piss up every night” , that will mean the coppers will have their work increased by a load of drunken squaddies roaming around London

        • 124

          I think you’ll find the rozzers will avoid like the plague confronting 3,500 battle trained, war zone experienced, fit and feisty pongo’s – pissed or sober. More likely to shout from a distance “Come on lads, don’t you have a nice church hall bunk to go home to – temporarily?”

          Try seeing how many battle wagons they send to “investigate” any crime in an “ethnically enriched” area!

    • 49
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      No, just the sack, once the jollies are over and the elite have gone their separate ways.

      • 72

        17,000 troops in total !
        Where they going to find them ?
        They will be billeted in large tents and won’t get any extra money

        This G4s company , arn’t they the one’s who dumped unemployed people under bridges in London etc at the Queens river do ?

    • 67
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      The bonus is it’ll mean they won’t be sent to Syria.

    • 87
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      While on this subject, wouldnt it be good if the RAF did a flypast every morning, just to show’em all that we’re hard. And borrow that Vulcan if theres argies about.

    • 105
      Quisling says:

      Plus they will only be able to buy French fries from McD’s unless they are simultaneously served with fish !!!


    • 107
      Anonymous says:

      Coe has been nominated for an Archer.

  14. 35
    Facts of Life says:

    But if Dave sacked everyone then he would only be left with the LibDems to lead.

  15. 51
    Ah! Monika says:

    “Tony Blair last night announced he is to take on his first job in British politics since leaving Downing Street – advising Labour on its policy review.
    Mr Blair, who has been laying the ground for a return to public life in Britain for several months, will advise the party on sporting policy in the wake of the Olympics.”

    What big teeth you’ve got Grandad. All the better to…….

    • 57
      nellnewman says:

      Perhaps bliar is secretly planning a comeback like berlusconni. The unions will be mobilising to protect milipuppet and his blank sheet of paper.

    • 61
      Loungelizard says:

      Just the excuse the BBC needs to give viewers wall to wall Tony Blair interviews for the rest of the year.

      • 121
        Beeb spokesperson says:

        This inside knowledge,how we are going to promote Pres Bliar over the next 3 years & you are not supposed to know that, the DG has ordered an immediate Judge Lead Investigation which you will attend without fail !! as we know where you live.

        Delete your original posting Now & get back to work

    • 83
      Well it's a thought says:

      Interesting especially for the one’s in Libor who planned his demise the last time, Watson better get a mirror to keep an eye on his back.

  16. 55
    FarmerGiles says:

    I can’t get my peas in because the grounds too wet. Could I borrow 1000 soldiers to help me.

    • 60
      David Camoron says:

      Don’t you try that trick with me, sonny Jim! There’s a drought, caused by man-made global climate change warming. So don’t you try telling me you’ve got soggy.. fields? Is it fields? Like a lawn, but bigger, yah? Fields, right. Like a paddock? Got it.

      Right, well, just you shut up and keep paying your Green taxes otherwise we’ll have droughts like this all year round.

      Toodle pip!

      • 70
        Loungelizard says:

        This is a farmer you’re talking to Dave. They don’t pay tax, they plough their grant and subsidy windfalls into tax avoidance schemes. With these guys the dosh goes one way, their way!

    • 74
      Lord McCoe says:

      Only if they are McPeas and you promice they will be ready in time for the Olympics. And no chips allowed. Unless they are McChips.

    • 104
      I don't need no doctor. says:

      You need the Royal Pea Shooter Regiment.

  17. 84
    Asking for trouble says:

    I don’t think it’s a good idea turning the Olympic village into a garrison town.

  18. 86
    Quisling says:

    The Conservative party now more of a Human Centipede but longer and connected at both ends to form a circle.

    Like a perpetual ‘motion’ machine, making shite, spouting shite, and eating shite

  19. 89
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Thought that GMB etc and the left of liebour party where trying to erase tony blair from the history of the party, all seems a bit schizophrenic

  20. 90
    I don't need no doctor. says:

    John Terry and Ashley Cole come over as being extremely thick and stupid. Both are liars and arrogant beyond belief. The pair of them are overpaid and overrated.

  21. 91
    Dave is a wet! says:

    Loving the row between Guido and Tim nice but Dim on Twitter.

  22. 92

    Tom Watson has sensibly declined free tickets for the Olympics which at least means he won’t be for the high jump.

  23. 94
    I don't need no doctor. says:

    The BBC are going on about 3,500 troops being brought in to add to the security at the Olympics, and who is going to pay. They are already being paid you dummies.
    The labour party want the families of the above troops to get free tickets. That’s labour for you, spending tax payers money again. If labour want free tickets for the troops families let labour pay for them.

  24. 109
    The UK Public says:

    Dear Mr Cameron,

    Fall on your sword.

    That is all.

    • 133
      Elf and Safety says:

      Swords are sharp and pointy and have therefore been banned.

      • 135
        Call Me Dave says:

        What is a Sword ?


        Why should I even think about falling on One ??

        A Ridiculous suggestion……..

        I’m really chilled out & off for a long champers weekend

        in Chipping Norton with Andy & Rebecca…….plus Tony…….

        Perfect just perfect & all friends together………

  25. 112

    Tony Blair, by accepting a new rôle with the Labour party, is on manoeuvres for a European position in MILFMonitaire Internationale Liquidité Fonds

  26. 116
  27. 122
    Breaking News says:

    Once again the UK Army has been deployed without adequate equipment.

    In a moment reminiscent of the one eyed bunglers time in power up to 3,500 troops have been deployed to a foreign occupied area with less than one ticket machine per 5 soldiers.

    An MOD spokesman said earlier “That’ll be £28.99 for a family ticket mate”

  28. 129
    YorkshireLad says:

    A complete shambles – so no change there then!

  29. 130
    Bodgeit & Legit (Purveyors of Crap) Spokesperson says:

    We can confidently guarantee the Urgent repair work to the closed M4 elevated section might be completed by the end of the Year !! although we are reluctant to confirm which year……..depends on our Bonus, Tax Free of Course

Seen Elsewhere

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Corrupt, Incompetent UN Has No Right to Lecture Us | Dan Hannan
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Hungary’s Heir to Thatcher | Conservative Woman
Farage and Salmond Both Want Outopia | David Aaronovitch
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Let’s Get Evangelical | David Cameron

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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