July 11th, 2012

Light Whipping in Osborne’s Office

As the 10pm vote deadline approached last night, Francis Maude was celebrating his birthday with a soirée in George Osborne’s offices in Parliament. Guido understands that Mad Frankie was slightly upstaged by his then PPS Angie “they’ll have to sack me” Bray. Sources in the room whisper to Guido that Whip Mark Francois made no efforts to cajole Bray at the party despite being there and chatting to her for some time. So much for that aggressive whipping…

Apparently Maude was angry though, not at the fact his PPS was rebelling, but concerned about finding a decent replacement for Bray given that almost all of the potential talent pool had rebelled.

At least any replacement will be über-loyal.

If they voted with the government last night, they’ll vote on anything…


80 Comments

  1. 1
    WTF? says:

    We Have a one party state!

  2. 2
    MacGuffin says:

    Those girls can comb their own Hair! STOP THE ASIAN GROOMERS

  3. 3
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    If Angie’s read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’, she might be up for some ‘aggressive whipping’.

  4. 4
    keredybretsa says:

    What he needs is a highly loyal, talented forward thinking and motivated staff base working to agressive time scales.

  5. 5
    just saying says:

    Good to see at least the rebels are in touch with the mood of the country.
    No-one,apart from a few Liberals, want these reforms.

  6. 6
    GORDON McMENTAL McMAD says:

    I’m just off for my “Early day motion”

  7. 7
    GORDON McMENTAL McMAD says:

    Has anybody seen my “White paper” ?

  8. 8
    Dave the Twat says:

    I am a Twat

  9. 9
    Quisling says:

    ‘but concerned about finding a decent replacement for Bray given that almost all of the potential talent pool had rebelled’

    So he’ll make do with a greasy arse licking pole climber then?

    Great

  10. 10
    Jesse Norman says:

    Stand by for a stormy PMQ’s with “Flashman” at the Despatch Box.

  11. 11
    Quisling says:

    Don’t forget to ‘follow through’ with your promises

  12. 12
    robbie says:

    Saw her on Newsnicht- she was terrible. Good move for Maude.

  13. 13
    Cleggie says:

    COTHO

  14. 14
    GORDON McMENTAL McMAD says:

    I’m getting on with the Jobby in hand

  15. 15
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Not much fun licking a greasy arse!

  16. 16
    Cameron and his Balloons says:

    But why the fook is Dave messing about redefining marriage and the House of Lords, hasn’t he got a country to run?

  17. 17
    GORDON McMENTAL McMAD says:

    No ! But a greasy arsed pole licking climber wiill do

  18. 18
    Gordon Brown addressing a row of dustbins at CurrrrrCudeeee Asylum for Idiots and Moral Defectives says:

    I won the last election by huge majority!

    Camerloon addressing a row of flowerpots at his Grace-and-Favour Mansion says:

    I won the last election by huge majority!

    Cleggovich addressing a selection of quiches in his fridge says:

    I won The Motion by huge majority!

  19. 19
    Angie the haircut says:

  20. 20
    Lord Mandlescum says:

    Psssst! Wanna see my ‘staff base’?

  21. 21
    Distraught master & commander says:

    Don’t forget the TINO’s (tories in name only) getting their party orders from EUSSR Brussels central, they are for sure not in touch with the rest of the ppl,

  22. 22
    Gordon Brown says:

    British Jobbies for British Wankers

  23. 23
    Ane get rid of the studio sychophantics while your at it says:

    REJOICE ! Self obsessed twat Chris Moyles is standing down from the Radio One breakfast Show. Lets hope his replacement will actually play some music instead of droning on about his fucking self for hours on end.

  24. 24
    Distraught master & commander says:

    All run from Brussels Central command, beware of the TINOs

  25. 25
    David Camoron says:

    No, not really. Brussels takes care of the tricky stuff, I just loaf around playing Angry Birds all day.

  26. 26
    The Archers Fan says:

    Who’s Chris Moyles?

    And why does David put up with Ruth?

  27. 27

    The pound is now at a four-year high against the euro.

    Time to sell.

  28. 28
    Rick Nobinson says:

  29. 29
    SIMON HUGHES says:

    I’m off to “Lay a Cable”

  30. 30
    Give me strength says:

    No wonder the country’s f*cked, when all our MPs spend their time playing computer games and posting inanities on Twatter.

  31. 31
    GET RID OF CUNTY CAMERON NOW says:

    Ministers will later announce yet more of our money will go to family planning in Africa
    1.8 Billion over eight years

    We’re all in this together

  32. 32
    a non says:

    Wonder whether Neo will still be wearing his rose tinted spectacles if there is a live PMQ thread.
    For 2 weeks in a row he has found Ed “outstanding”- ” the winner “, which beggars belief.

  33. 33
    Penfold says:

    The Limp-Dicks have no understanding of collective cabinet responsibility, they entered the coalition with the Tories for political gain and set out their stall with that aim.
    Hypocrites and unscrupulous double dealers is too polite a description for Clegg and his crew.
    Clegg is a typical example of the disconnected politician who has cut his teeth in Brussels and thinks that the world revolves around people of his ilk. Prat.

  34. 34
    Lazy layabout on the Saushal says:

    wots breakfast?

  35. 35
    retardEd Miliband says:

    I’m about to put thumthing on my blank theet of paper.

  36. 36
    Not so Mad Nad says:

  37. 37
    A Labour-voting chav says:

    The first can of White Lightning of the day.

  38. 38
    Penfold says:

    The motion Clegg “won” was when he had a dump……….and that was a (insert your own scatalogical reference)

  39. 39
    Tachybaptus says:

    Sell fleas, buy lice.

  40. 40
    Ed Millibland says:

    I have just wread a blook like my pwolicy document.

    The black dot

    by Anton whitepaper

  41. 41
    Jus Saying says:

    Cameron is just butt flustered as he realises he is a one term only PM.

  42. 42
    Greychatter says:

    Was that our money or Bill Gates’s?

  43. 43
    Call me Dave says:

    I have slimmed down the Tory policy book to a one liner.

    ‘See Nick’

  44. 44
    David Camoron (one-term PM) says:

    Well, look. This is something which I am sure makes you all very proud. And to afford all this foreign aid, all I have to do is cut £25billion from the NHS budget, forcing hospitals to deprive elderly patients of food and drink to hasten their deaths as part of my cost-cutting efforts.

    Spiffing, eh? What what.

    Toodle pip!

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9385674/Hospitals-letting-patients-die-to-save-money.html

  45. 45
    No Bullying of women? says:

  46. 46

    There are still investment opportunities.

    Land, food, energy, fine art.

  47. 47
    Army Careers Guidance says:

    Join the Army.
    Travel to exotic distant lands.
    Meet exciting new people.
    And kill them

    Don’t bother

  48. 48
    Greychatter says:

    See Huhne is back commenting on yesterday’s vote – thought he was in jail.

    Just shows the hypocricy of the Lib/Dem types – no shame.

  49. 49
    GET RID OF CUNTY CAMERON NOW says:

    I think the Glibs will call time befor even a full term is up

  50. 50
    Quisling says:

    Maybe we could replace them with computer generated avatars like Max Headroom.

    Save us a fortune, and probably better ideas

  51. 51

    PMQs

    Error 404 – Not Found

  52. 52
    Faux-Tory scum haven't got a clue says:

    How about a referendum on our EU membership?

  53. 53
    illogical says:

    We foreigners excluded?

  54. 54
    MrAngry61 says:

    Guido’s not prepared to pay for the service now it costs

  55. 55
    Livetalk says:

    No livechat?

  56. 56
    Hugh Janus says:

    On the contrary, Twatter and other similar stupid, time-wasting, vanity websites are intended to provide MPs with plenty of distraction so that they spend less time f*cking up the country.

    I’m bound to say, however, that currently the ploy does not appear to be working.

  57. 57
    Another Engineer says:

    It was there, then it wasn’t…

  58. 58
    Another Engineer says:

    It is the last day of term. Broon missed registration (again), Balls the school bully is waiting in the bogs, and Cleggy has hidden a rotten kipper in the headmaster’s study. Miliband Minor is present in class much to everyone’s annoyance as he always asks stupid questions to attract attention. Will ‘Call me Dave’ lose his temper again?

  59. 59
  60. 60
    GET RID OF CUNTY CAMERON NOW says:

    23 meeting with Google ! How much do they donate to Tory funds then , or is that Daves future employer

    !

    1-0 Milliband !

  61. 61
    David "Am I bovvered" Camoron says:

    Things to do before I die:

    1. Let daddy make me into a millionaire.
    2. Become a PR spiv.
    3. Become an MP.
    4. Become PM.

    5. Get to level 10 on Angry Birds.
    6. Get a huge backhander from my pals in the construction industry by letting them build whatever they like, wherever they like.
    7. Trash the Tory Party and all its looney fruitcake closet-racist supporters.
    8. Get a spiffing job in Brussels that sets me up for life.

  62. 62
    illogical says:

    Internet explore showing no comments after CRMMs????????

  63. 63

    He has tweeted the link. The above is the response.

  64. 64
    AC1 says:

    I’m much more worried about patients than I am about hospitals, which is why I’m against the politician/bureaucrat run NHS.

  65. 65
    Lord Mandelslime says:

    “Not much fun licking a greasy arse!”

    Speak for yourself.

  66. 66
    GET RID OF CUNTY CAMERON NOW says:

    Fuckin hell ! have little Ed’s balls dropped !

    I just love to see Cameron Squirm

  67. 67
    MrAngry61 says:

    Why is RedEd pissing on about the Lords reform bill rather than more important issues? 3 wastyed questions so far

  68. 68
    Anonymous says:

    Didn’t realise you knew the Eagle sisters that well.

  69. 69
    illogical says:

    PMQ thread now available for comment

  70. 70
    AC1 says:

    MilliB’s blank sheet.

  71. 71
    AC1 says:

    Internet Radio FTW.

    Just say No to Extortion Funded Media.

  72. 72
    AC1 says:

    Baked Beans, Shotgun shell futures.

  73. 73
    Hugh Janus says:

    “…thought he was in jail.”

    Everything comes to he who waits – except when it’s one of the political class up before Mr Justice Cocklecarrot.

  74. 74
    David "PR-Spiv" Camoron says:

    With less than 3 years to go before I leave Number 10, I’ve got to dedicate my time to finding new opportunities as I move forwards my career journey. What what.

    Sorry I turned Labour’s mess into an even bigger mess. Meh.

  75. 75
    One Term Dave (or less) says:

    Fantasising again?

  76. 76

    I have always been able to craft conversation stoppers!

  77. 77

    Quite.

    But don’t forget some shells themselves ;-)

  78. 78
    Hugh Janus says:

    Please make it a whole lot less than 3 years.

  79. 79
    Blowing Whistles says:

    So Max Hastings in the DM Pg 14 – gets to some rather good points

    “Lib Dems are not serious people. They are a party for flat-earthers, muesli eaters and kindness-to-rats enthusiasts”

    What Max doesn’t appear to want to state though – is that The Tory Party and The Labour Party are infested with “flat-earthers” as well. They all bought into Al’s big lie. His ‘Our Purpose’ the title of his Nobel prize lecture booklet. Don’t forget – that it was Al’s big lie out of America – and that America is one of the biggest ‘dissenters’ along with the Chinese …

    The British people have not been ‘had’ – but our parliamentarians have.

    Don’t mention that the Global warming climate change bubble has burst! Move along now you nasty members of the public.

  80. 80
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    The kipper bit reminds me of this lovely story:

    http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/curtain-rod.htm


Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath


Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS


Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS


AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,717 other followers