July 10th, 2012

George Osborne Demands Hooker Goes Down
Chancellor is Super-Pimp

George Osborne’s Treasury has wreaked revenge on high-earning hookers after a £1,000-a-night tart was jailed over a £120,000 tax fraud. Donna Asutaits will go down for 16 months after being found guilty of evading taxes over a two year period in which she earned over £300,000. UKuncut will be happy…

Osborne is responsible for the HMRC cracking down on high-earning tax evaders, demanding that high-class call girls pay a whopping 45% of their earnings, making him the harshest and most lucrative pimp in Britain. Guido can’t imagine how George ever got involved in such a sordid business


193 Comments

  1. 1
    Ha says:

    Evasion is ilegal, she needs Ken Livingstone or Tony Blairs help.

    Like

  2. 2
    Steve Miliband says:

    Going down for 16 months – Viagra?

    Like

  3. 3
    Quisling says:

    ‘will go down for 16 months’

    I could not last that long

    Like

  4. 4
    Edwina says:

    Like

  5. 5
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Banged senseless then banged up in gaol.

    Like

  6. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    I met the President of Holland, Mr France.

    Like

  7. 8
    Anonymous says:

    Like

    • 14
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      Flipped once ? Amateur !

      Like

    • 26
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      Another member of libour party, wonder if he will try and take action against, balls,vazoline,fatso watson, lard prescott etc, etc

      Like

      • 110
        Polly Twiddled her Toy Boy All The Way says:

        God, no Dahling – that would just be too, too awful. The poor boys are being treated like war criminals as it is. All they did was fund an illegal war or two, destroy a healthy pension fund or all of them, send the UK economy down the “crapper” – what’s that between friends after all?

        Alphonse! I don’t care if it’s still soft, try and wiggle it in!

        Like

  8. 11
    George Osborne says:

    ‘ere, stop messin abhaart!

    Like

  9. 12
    Mr Thick of Thickston-on-Thames says:

    How does putting her in prison for 16 months fit with the requirement that she pays back £120K?

    Maybe I’m being especially thick, but wouldn’t it be better to let her carry on working so she can, you know, pay the outstanding tax bill, plus interest?

    Like

    • 17
      Q says:

      Yes he should have smacked her one and said
      ‘listen up biatch, you go out and work them streets you here me, or your face won’t be so pretty any more, kapeesh’

      Like

    • 28
      South of the M4 says:

      The same logic that applies to football clubs that are demoted if they go into administration – thereby reducing their earning potential to pay their debts.

      Like

    • 90
      a sensible measure says:

      she owes £120K? I remember another old hoor who owed that and was able to stand up and say sorry in the Commons instead of paying it back

      Like

  10. 16
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    One swallow does not make a summer.

    Is there any evidence at all that there is a policy to “wreaked revenge on high-earning hookers”.

    It seems to me that she caught the attention of the police because she seemed to be involved in other dodgy business like money laundering and possible mortgage fraud. And instead of wasting all that police time and effort when they discovered that might not be the case, they did her for the tax avoidance.

    But I imagine the intern with the photoshop had fun this afternoon, so its probably all for the best.

    Like

  11. 19
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    My goodness me ‘going down’ for 16 months – enough to give you lockjaw.
    Guido, your editors must take more care….bottom of the class.

    Like

  12. 21
    Frodo says:

    If course hookering is entirely legal.

    but we all knew that didn’t we?

    (Except for running a brothel)

    Like

  13. 33
    Pooh sticks says:

    What about that evil tax evader Tony Bliar who is pimped out by JP Morgan to hump the Middle East?

    Like

  14. 35
    Giorgio "Mack Daddy" Osborne says:

    Mah “pimp-hand” is strong– I be showin’ dese mo-fo’s you don’t f*** wit’ the Giddy Mack Daddy!

    Like

  15. 36
    Ed Miliband says:

    Thith ith outwageouth.

    How do I jumpth on thith bandwagon?

    Like

  16. 37
  17. 38
    Her Majestys Inspectors says:

    Forget K2 (Jimmy Carr),this hooker was claiming KY…..

    A judge led enquiry will be requested now.

    Like

  18. 39
    Veronica says:

    Claret class has never liked working class entrepreneurs.

    Like

  19. 43
    Raving Loon says:

    Like

  20. 44
    Guardian reader with his head up his pc bottom. says:

    It’s like a trolls playground in ‘ere. Behave.

    Like

  21. 59
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    I shall order the immediate release of that hooker so that she will take on the role of “comfort girl” in Afghanistan for the next 2 years.

    A statement will be made in the House tomorrow.

    Like

  22. 62
    Anonymous says:

    Surely Gideon isn’t CRACKing down on all whores ??

    Like

  23. 67
    confused says:

    The Treasury are no living on immoral earnings Will they get bird?

    Like

  24. 68
    confused says:

    That should be ‘now’

    Like

  25. 69
    Nonny Mouse says:

    Given that Osborne made his comments about Balls in The Spectator, and therefore they were not subject to parliamentary privilege, why doesn’t Balls just sue him for libel? That would be the normal and obvious course of redress. So Mr Balls, what’s stopping you?

    Like

    • 73
      Lord Ashcroft says:

      Skeletons in cupboards Nonny Nonny

      Like

    • 75
      Gordon Brown Tomorrow's Man says:

      Balls was too indignant for his own good…I will accept that he did not have a direct conversation but he and Brown et al must have discussed the operation of libor given the economic shit storm they were in…whether the conversations were had by others such as Darling Vadera or Myners perhaps we may never know but Brown’s controlling economic influences as ex chancellor/world saviour are all over this
      whole fiasco…and as such balls was a key sidekick.

      Like

    • 79
      Occupant in the rear Stall of Pomeroy's Wine Bar says:

      No “Action for Defamation” is clear in its outcome whatever the view of each sides counsel might be..inevitably both parties will be substantially out of pocket as litigants rarely obtain back more than 40% of costs even if they are awarded in their favour and both parties reputations would undoubtedly suffer. However as both parties are people of means this may not deter although the claimant in any action could face equal reputational damage as the defendant

      Like

      • 125
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        You forgot to append your invoice. Extraordinary, nay, amazing — never known anything like it in all my exposure to the legal profession.

        Like

    • 103
      UKIP.i.am says:

      Probably the fact that what Osborne said was NOT defamatory in any sense. All Osborne said was that Balls had ‘questions to answer’. How exactly is that defamatory?

      Like

      • 104
        UKIP.i.am says:

        As usual Labour are playing the victim card – like Anton Ferdinand, who at least has a case.

        Like

    • 114
    • 178
      Rat's arse says:

      My thoughts exactly Nonny. Balls has a lot to hide.

      Like

  26. 70
    Hold My Dick Diamond says:

    Will they dome for tax avoidance now?

    Like

  27. 71
    I shagged his WAG says:

    Foofieplayers should be seen and not heard

    Like

  28. 72
    Donna Withmytits says:

    I have decided to go non-dom in the future

    Like all my clients

    Like

  29. 74
    Y Fronts says:

    I want to be the first gay English bishop

    Like

  30. 77
    Same Old tripe at the BBC says:

    Dodgy parasites and meddling idiots. They can Strictly fuck off and take their parasitical tripe with them. The BBC’s ethics have gone down the shitter.

    Like

  31. 78
    Chairman of Barclays Bank says:

    We still have 1,300 subsidiaires in the Cayman Islands in case anyone wants to do some serious tax avoidance

    Like

  32. 86
    I've shagged over 500 prostitutes. says:

    Prostituting on AW is about the only decent way to make some money these days.

    Like

  33. 88
    Do Leftwingers Suffer From Low IQ says:

    Have you ever noticed all these left wingers that moan about the Monarchy being German are the same bunch that kick up the most stink about the B end P and Eeee D LLLLL?

    So it’s alright for these leftwingers to tell the Queen to fuck off cause she is German immigrant scrounger.

    but not alrite for a working man to tell a Pole or Asian immigrant scrounger to fuck off?

    See the double standard?

    Like

  34. 94
    C4's papa mong and his brown shitst@ins. says:

    No moral backbone in this country anymore. Everyone is motivated by greed and selfishness and to hell with the consequences.
    When I were a lad……

    Like

    • 106
      frogs' legs says:

      ……we used to lick high class prostitutes clean with our tongues

      Like

      • 126
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        You were lucky to have a tongue. When I were a lad all we had were a cleft palate, no use fer lickin’ toms clean at all.

        Like

        • 155
          frogs' legs says:

          Bahh! that’s nowt, we were so poor we couldn’t afford tongues we had to put our noses in there and snort it all clean.

          Like

  35. 97
    pudding it mildly says:

    A double entendre too far.
    High class hooker , call girl, escort or prostitute Guido but at 1000 pounds a night the word ‘tart’ seems out of place.
    Now attempting exotic recipes to spoil both the wife and myself , imagine me describing the next masterpiece as a Honey nut crunch hooker or Fudgy Brownie prostitute.
    I would have thought, even as a catholic you understood the difference between a cream pie and a creampie.

    Like

  36. 98
    ED MILLIBANDWAGGON says:

    Not paying tax as a hooker is a Minge benefit
    Can someone arrest Gideon for living off immoral earnings ?
    She should go to parliament once a week and give them all a freebie ,
    well the few that are that way inclined

    Like

  37. 100
    ED MILLIBANDWAGGON says:

    A hooker gets paid to fuck a client
    Politicians get paid to fuck all of us !

    Like

  38. 109
    Spartacus says:

    Jacqui Smith embezzles 120,000 pounds and gets away with it.

    Like

  39. 112
    Gordon Brown says:

    sound Dixie!

    Like

  40. 113
    Spartacus says:

    Fatty Jacqui Smith embezzles 120,000 pounds from the public purse and gets away with it

    Like

    • 121
      The Paragnostic says:

      Yes, but then again her earnings potential outside of politics is approximately zero unless she prostitutes herself on the Hoon taxi rank.

      Can you honestly say you’d employ the fat useless bint?

      Like

      • 122
        Tachybaptus says:

        Her earnings potential is exactly zero if she prostitutes herself. Even chubby-chasing necrophiliacs have standards.

        Like

  41. 115
    Sir William Waad says:

    £1,000? My minimum stud fee is 10,000 guineas.

    Like

  42. 118
    Anonymous says:

    Jail for 16 months, while the filth in the Parliament of Whores get off with a slapped wrist when they are found to be stealing.

    Every day I get older I become more of an anarchist.

    Like

    • 123
      Passing By says:

      +1000

      Like

    • 145
      Ex Conservative Voter says:

      It gets more insane when you think .. she went out to work (or maybe worked from home), got paid, kept her wages, and got 16 months in prison.

      Jailed, for keeping her own money.

      And the people who wrote the law that says she should be jailed for keeping her own money are a bunch of fucking thieves.

      That’s how fucked-up this country has become.

      Like

    • 147
      Mód Bot's going c omp le*tely m*ad says:

      It gets more insáne when you think .. she went out to work (or maybe worked from home), got paid, kept her wáges, and got 16 months in prison.

      Jailed, for keeping her own móney.

      And the people who wrote the law that says she should be ja*iled for keeping her own mo/ney are a bunch of f*cking thie/ves.

      That’s how f*cked-up this country has become.

      Like

  43. 133
    DOMINANT BLACK HOOKER says:

    jeeeez LOUISE!

    Like

  44. 135
  45. 140
    HMArsey screwing right back says:

    I’m thinking about nipping ’round to HMRC and making a citizens arrest of all those public sector parasites. Living off immoral earnings is illegal, after all.

    Like

  46. 143
    Some twat up North says:

    What if the money she got paid was from a tax avoider?

    Like

  47. 149
    Gordons Alive!! says:

    Like

  48. 150
    Saffron says:

    Gweedo
    Why in the name of Christo are you feckin well talking about this non subject?.
    There are bigger fish to fry,as you well know.
    Corruption is rife amongst the upper classes/politico’s/banksters and you are harping on about some prossie who earns peanuts compared with the tossers who I have referred to.
    The other topic Lords reform,who the hell is bothered as to what the mainly geriatric bunch in the other place get up to.
    Certainly not the general public,they are concerned about who of this bunch of political no marks in it for theirselves and their own fortunes can get us out of this Liebour/Libor shitestorm we are currently in.
    Will it be U turn Cammoron/Union Ed/Cleggover I don’t think so.
    What it could be though is if we the people as a whole said loud and clear we have now had enough and we want change.
    I won’t catalogue change because most people on this site will know what changes need to be made.

    Like

  49. 152
    ED MILLIBANDWAGGON says:

    Trust northern soul to have the tune LoL

    Like

  50. 153
    Gordon Cameron says:

    Like

    • 182
      Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

      Cameron has no one to blame but himself….that’s what comes of thinking you’re actually a LibDem leader instead of Tory…..and ignoring his own backbenchers

      The Tory party is a dangerous beast that has ripped many a leader and PM to shreds if riled

      Like

  51. 154
    Gordon Cameron says:

    Like

  52. 158
    missing the story says:

    Where the fuck is your piece on the melt-down over Lords reform? Who gives a fuck about Osborne or his irrelevant sidekick Cameron?

    Like

  53. 159
    Anonymous says:

    Hookers have to register for VAT, too, if they turn over enough.

    Like

  54. 162
    Jesse Norman says:

    David Cameron is a shit !

    Like

  55. 164
    Confused.com says:

    Like

  56. 165
    Confused dot com says:

    Like

    • 168
      Sysbod says:

      Why don’t scientists take care of their appearances properly?

      Like

      • 173
        not a machine says:

        All my initial pleasure that we may have a new and sound model for everything , has drained away , as the blip on a computer that we all assumed as proof , by the brainy lot at CERN , may not be as good a blip as we first thought and is being contested by some Americans .

        Indeed I have been trying to get my head around it , and I wonder if we havent been mislabelling some things for a long time , since the first smoke chamber swirls were photographed . The fact that we seem to have sub particles is difficult enough as that means , somthing has to be a building block or more likely its co existence .

        I mean how do you explain chemistry now , if laws of thermodynamics arnt quite as sound as we thought , as it doesnt completely account/balance in subatomic world …..

        When Mr la Kahli eats his hat , it will be one of best Horizon efforts ever .Right now seems far more uncomplete to me than when blip was first shown .

        Like

      • 193
        A rapidly-passing wino says:

        If they can’t find a razor, how do they expect to find the Higg’s boson ?

        Like

  57. 169
    Aunty Matter says:

    Why is David Laws fagging himself around the TV studios lecturing everyone about doing the right thing when he’s lucky not to be in jail for fiddling his expenses?

    Like

    • 170
      Disgusted of Britain says:

      Because he can.

      He is shameless, as are most of our poiltical class.

      Like

    • 174
      not a machine says:

      NN was all too revealing for me , certainly has damaged my faith , in what those who i thought I understood , are actually about in this matter and others ….

      Like

  58. 171
    ED MILLIBANDWAGGON says:

    Dave’s idea of democracy

    It’s my way , or the highway !
    what sort of wanker sacks people for having differing views from their own

    Camoron thats who !, a wanker who forms a coalition with a party that have totally opposite views and are just about to call in the favour

    bye bye coalition !

    Like

  59. 172
    not a machine says:

    full marks for entertainment value Guido :)

    Bill Killed vol 1
    I wasnt sure what Labour were bristleing with tonight , pride at punative puncture , or tenacity at time tease . By the time NN had arrived I think I had learned all I need to know . I respect Connor Burns stepping down but Angie Bray …. sacked , not much a coalition promise , i dont recall any Lib dem being sacked when AV (£23mn cost) didnt get enough votes . As far as I understand major constitutional bills , sacking a PPS stinks and i would interested to know how this occured , or certainly consider it ill judged enough to get Angie re in stated .
    David laws twisted matters , a straight answer form the lib dems would be helpful , the coalition agreement in script , says consultation , not legislation , which makes Angies sacking all the more henious . If the coalition agreement does say “consultation” everyone of the rebels and abstainers should not be in fear of anything , other than further discussion .
    I appreciate Labour have got a socialist foot up the Liberals backside , despite repeated questions , but had the program motion been agreed then a great deal of parliaments time could have been tied up , alas somthing Labour did not give during Lisbon , which is worth remembering .

    Given that plenty of prior warning was given on the launching of this bill , and its disrespect , it is curious to find key people now making it known they want it as launched , and not the more thoughtful aspects that were floating around that could have staved off so many wounds by the time the tellers were counting .
    So 400 odd mps want this portent back to savedgery legislation , I suppose the whipping will hide many weaker wills who wre not sure , and the pro speakers I managed to hear , seemed so lacking in alternate view , the bill was dying quite early on .

    The rebels have secured a position (rightly) that this bill was so impoverished as to be troubled , however we now have a wound that may not heal , and I would be wise in considering exactly how much of a error this may or may not be . 400 odd mps want to be rid of the house of Lords , not a rethink , not a consultation , but rid without a shred of evidence that it does not do a good job in many of its current ways and hsitorical experinece . 400 od mps have voted for vandalism of somthing they do not think worthy , despite much contaveneing evidence .

    The HOC cannot legislate against a revising chambers constitutional position , unless a revising chamber is allowed to consider the HOC position in the same manner . This betrayal cannot be hid under the guise of modernisation , before Nick Clegg began his Bill , he should have considered why the balance works and that what he was proposing (the gov) , was a more akin to a cull of native balance to make way for the species Nick favours , ie elected .

    I can think of numerous bad goverments through elections , but the lords in the way it works , is a very useful check on such things . I dont know if it works in Lesthoto , but does in Westminster and much better than any elected revising chamber you might name . The most astonishing figure was how Tony Blair used the Lords appointing no less than 312 , in his time causing much of the problems we have , which i hope wasnt intentional .

    Death loans : I agree do help , mainly in alievaiting the selling of houses in such manners as the system works now , although i would think the possibilities of elements within any package may need a proper footing , so that certain costs are always known . The saver aspect is interesting , although i have long wondered why some sort of basic pot has never been considered , that could not be used in general expenditure , could supply a top up for nursing care . Again though we are back at care homes making transparent accounts and reasonable profit ie cost aspect to work to make pot work .
    I am not sure what sort of long term pension/care provison product could be devised , but it looks to me as though it would have to be compulsory and that no doubt means thinking about NI again . The problem to me is one of cost increase for the proper service to be good , vs no revenue specially to provide for it . Its more difficult than I first thought , I dont think we want gaps so to me it has to be a general pot , but then that doesnt help those who are able to make there own plan and go private , without call upon the tax payer .

    Like

  60. 175
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Music Historian Service says:

    As Guido points out in the Twitter feed, it is the Golden Anniversary of the telecommunications satellite– the first of its kind inspired this piece of music, which was released shortly thereafter:

    It was, well over a year before the Beatles, the first British release to top the US charts. It was so successful that the producer, Joe Meek, was sued for copyright infringement by a French composer who had written the similar-sounding Theme From Austerlitz, a 1960 French film. Joe Meek died a few years later, as the second part of a murder-suicide, stemming from a drug-induced paranoia resulting from the fact that his royalties from Telstar were tied up pending the outcome of the lawsuit.

    Like

  61. 176
    albacore says:

    Anything goes in LibLabCon paradise
    Don’t matter at all if it’s naughty or nice
    As long as the state gets its proper per cent
    That there’s growth, real growth, so it’s money well spent

    Like

  62. 183
    Angie Bray says:

    It’s official.

    David Cameron is toast !

    Like

  63. 185
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    David Cameron will get a pasting today at PMQ’s.

    The man has taken leave of his senses.

    Like

  64. 186
    Gordon Cameron says:

    Like

  65. 187
    Telegraph says:

    Like

  66. 191
    Deport Clegg says:

    They’re reintroducing bore-hunting in Spain. Nick would feel at home there.

    Like


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Progressive Inclusion Champion says:

Great to hear Carswell call for inclusive policies and that UKIP must stand for first and second generation immigrants as much as the English.


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