July 9th, 2012

Where Are the Whips?

Conor Burns might be fearing for his job when he votes against the government over Lords reform tomorrow, but Guido is starting to suspect that Tory whips’ hearts aren’t really in it. For 70 Conservative backbenchers to voice such open dissent – including loyalists that still actually harbour career ambitions – there is clearly little anxiety over the consequences of rebelling. And as for those LibDem boundary review threats… 

Peter Lilley has gone on the record saying that no whip has got in touch with him, while Jacob Rees-Mogg told the BBC: “I speak to the whips regularly but I haven’t come under any pressure“. Tories have been briefing the Lobby that their party capos have been nowhere to be seen:

Dave ordered a three-line whip on Lords reform, but neither his backbenchers nor his whips seem to care. The power now lies with Ed…


  1. 1

    Am i first on this Band waggon ?


    • 9
      • 21
        Anonymous says:

        Why don’t they write these things in English ffs?


        • 32
          Four-eyed English Genius says:

          It is.


          • Anonymous says:


            The UNIQUE constraint uniquely identifies each record in a database table.

            The UNIQUE and PRIMARY KEY constraints both provide a guarantee for uniqueness for a column or set of columns.

            A PRIMARY KEY constraint automatically has a UNIQUE constraint defined on it.

            Note that you can have many UNIQUE constraints per table, but only one PRIMARY KEY constraint per table.


          • Four-eyed English Genius says:

            Perfectly plain


          • sockpuppet #4 says:

            Looks like english to me. Although admittedly you might be thrown by what they mean by “key”. its not a metal thing with bits cut out at one end, and usually round at the other.

            I suppose at a stretch, you might not know what a “record” is in a database. Similarly, its not a round plastic thing with a groove cut in it.


          • That is fantastic! I’ve been looking for that for bloody years! A drug free cure for my chronic insomnia.


          • stanley unwin says:

            Yeah, you’ll all be telling me next that this has won a plain English Award.


          • Anonymous says:

            What he/she describes (if used properly) makes your life a lot easier in so many ways….ways you never even thought about.


          • Four-eyed English Genius says:

            Compared with any legal document, this is absolutely crystal clear!


          • bacon and eggs 101 says:


            There, I hope that’s better.


    • 19
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Probably; it’s a non-story. No need for the whips. When the pics with the goats appear in the in boxes tomorrow morning the MPs will fall into line.


    • 26
      Ah! Monika says:

      Another joint.


  2. 1
    JH says:

    FFS, When will the Lib Dems realise the electorate does not give a shit about Electoral reform or The Lords.

    Sort the economy and immigration out FFS! LISTEN!


    • 6
      Well it's a thought says:

      Thought the Palace of Westminster was on planet Zog, you know these MPs don’t give a toss about their voters after voting, they are too busy troughing and making friends in companys for after they get dumped.


      • 22
        Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

        Sounds like a good argument for an effective second house to hold them to account……


        • 35
          Four-eyed English Genius says:

          Effective being the important word here, not the omnishambles proposed by Cleggover.


          • Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

            So kick it into the long grass again Your Lordship?


          • Haribo Halfwit says:

            The important thing is to keep the grass clipped to its current length. This proposal would leave it to grow for fifteen whole years before the use of a lawnmower is even considered.


      • 85
        Norman Stanley Fletcher says:

        The plural (look it up) of ‘company’ is ‘companies’. Don’t they teach kids anything at school these days?


    • 44
      Rip van Wrinkle says:

      Jack Ashley was a better listener than anyone in the Commons or Lords these days.


    • 48
      M says:

      All the parties knows it needs reforming so that it’s a more elected chamber and therefore more accountable so it’s not just a place for political appointees & jobs for the useless cronies .
      But enough of the EU , at least the lords has a chance of change


  3. 3
    SpotOn says:

    Party Whips: the biggest enemies of democracy, after political parties themselves.


  4. 4
    Hmmm says:

    the whips are just getting there “lines”. #politicsnotporn


    • 16
      Miss Whiplash says:

      Fancy a good time, Dearie? Special rates for MPs.


      • 17
        Mister Whippy says:

        I can provide the cream.


      • 49
        M says:

        The tax payer will pick up the rest


        • 61

          But we won’t tell you everything!

          Just like we promised not to take away legal aid for children who are disabled, due to medical negligence and incompetence, by the NHS – but we ARE, from next March, now that nobody’s looking!!!!

          Promises are not subject to reasonable expectation – YOU pay to fight the third biggest company in the entire world, you ungrateful little cripples!

          ├┼╔╣╠╬╗fuk u╔╬╣╠╗┼┤
          ├╔╣║║║║fuk u║║║║╠╗┤
          ├╚╩╩╩╩╝fuk u╚╩╩╩╩╝┤


  5. 5
    Chairman of Barclays Bank says:

    Reference your twitter

    You cannot throw us out of the BBA

    I was Chairman of the BBA until last week FFS


  6. 8
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am The Amazing Spider-Man.


  7. 10
    Dumb & Dumber says:


  8. 11
    Engineer says:

    Be careful, Cameron. If the revolting backbenchers get away with it, they find that they enjoy it.

    No PM finds life easy with a lot of revolting back-benchers behind him.


  9. 13
    The Sleeper says:

    I see that Pravda is peddling the release of more Libor/BoE/Barclays e-mails for all its worth.

    It’s what is NOT being reported that shows the Labour PR Broadcasting Corporations’ leanings…..

    …Nowhere does it say that all this went on during Brown and Balls watch…



    • 40
      Beeb spokeperson says:

      Tut tut Kindly moderate your use of such words in this context

      We are all painfully aware that our parents are unknown

      so thats the way we report our NEWS !!

      BTW we know where you live…….


    • 79
      Who writes this rubbish? says:

      Yup, CNN Business Report (led from London) doing exactly the same thing.


  10. 15
    Anonymous says:

    There is one saving grace with all this coalition kack , at least we know that the LibDems must never, ever be let anywhere near the levers of power again.


    • 92
      Anonymous says:

      Agree. That’s why current LibDem HoL reform must be defeated otherwise gives Limp Dems permanent control over balance of power in HoL – disastrous.


  11. 18
    Mrs Doyle says:

    ‘The power now lies with Ed…’
    Can you imagine Father? Can you imagine Father, looking up …. and him standing over you with his lad in his hand, wanting you to degrade yourself? God almighty can you imagine that Father? Can you picture it there Father? Oh get a good mental picture of it. Can you see him there? Ready to do the business?


  12. 20
    Max Mosley says:

    I took whipping seriously and it messed with my bum.


    • 30
      Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

      Coincidentally, the exact words of Mad Frankie Frauds letter to the troops.


    • 31
      Max Mosley says:

      And my brain.

      What I meant to say was,

      I took serious whipping and it messed my bum.


  13. 33

    I’m voting against.

    A liberal coalition colleague said “Then we won’t support boundary reforms”

    “Then we won’t need you anymore and can collapse the coalition. No boundary, no point hanging on. Might as well call an election in September.”

    “Ahh..September.erm..well.lets not be too hasty…there’s the fixed parliament agreement after all…”

    I won’t be too sad to dump our ‘Italian’ style allies. Poorly equipped. Poorly led. Run away at the first sign of conflict.
    More trouble than they’re worth


  14. 36
    Closet former MP says:

    Oh how I miss those long whipping sessions they were enjoyed with such passion & delight, all provided by our always ever so grateful Tax Payers !!

    Hope my turn cum’s again……


  15. 38
    Brown Out and pay me damages. says:



  16. 45

    Tory party Whips at briefing yesterday


    • 52
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      How many dominatrix would it take to whip fatso watson? think or the area to be covered


      • 58
        Quik Up & Under says:

        Owen G my sweet

        Please advise is the HD video going to posted on FB or UTube ??


  17. 47
    El-Guido says:

    or Rocker ?


  18. 54
    Spirit of Bernard Manning says:

    It was much much better when I was alive we really knew how to insult
    & take the fcuking P*ss out of the lot of them, now its all so PC.

    Being Dead does have its good points !!!


    • 62
      Anonymous says:

      It’s all down to lefty politics, they just can’t take dissent or criticism of any kind, in fact they go fucking mental.


      • 68
        Gordon McMental says:

        Some One Called My Name again !!

        its all Sue’s fault……..

        fcuk her……………….


  19. 55
    This is what should be done to all phone scammers says:

    String them along for a laugh.


  20. 59
    Max Mosely says:

    Where are the whips??? I was about to ask that myself!


  21. 72
    Closet former MP says:

    When you find them, post there Mobile Number,

    its been such a long time since I’ve was pleasured with a long bloody

    whipping session

    I am really feeling very very depraved at present…..


    • 77
      mood moderator says:

      behave yourself its only monday…you’ve got tucker coming up at 4.30


      • 89
        Closet former MP says:

        Very sorry about my earlier desires, I was very nearly over cum at the time

        but feeling a little better after a good 3 hours plus of self flagellation in the Gents !!


  22. 83
    Chris says:

    This sounds like the Conservative Press Offices attempt to convince people that Cameron still has authority over his party.


  23. 91
    Blowing Whistles says:

    “Conor Burns might be fearing ….” Ughhh No he’s got a lot of local problems that he’s fearing – the usual corruption, duplicity, fraud etc that his predecessor seemigly successfully thinks that he got away with covering up for 25 years … but not not anymore:- see this blog.



  24. 93
    gildedtumbril says:

    650 shysters, charlatans,scumbags,scalliwags and scoundrels in the HoConmen need whipping. Preferably with a cat-onine tails. Then keel hauling. Same for 792 even worse arseholes in what is euphemistically named, ‘the upper house’. Seems reasonable. All ex members who still breathe deserve the same. They have all earned it.


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