July 7th, 2012

Spectator Selling Subscriptions on Back of Balls Endorsement

That interview in the Spectator has caused lots of trouble for George Osborne and the Speccie is positively lapping it up. They are running cheeky advertising quoting Balls’s demand for an apology in parliament to sell subscriptions. What next? Balls endorsed lasagne sauces…

They are using a revised strapline: Impugning integrity since 1828.


  1. 1
    Ha says:

    Good, Balls is a lying sack of shit.

    • 6
      RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

      • 134
        Gooey Blob says:

        Balls, Osborne – it’s all heat and no light.

        I’m still wondering if the socialist somnambulists are going to wake up before the next election and ditch the two Eds. If they are both still there when Cameron goes to the country, Labour can forget it. They might as well just pack up and go home now, it would save the country an awful lot of time and money.

    • 20

      Far to generous.

      Try harder, deeper, faster.

    • 35
      Rat's arse says:

      And so say all of us “Ha”!

    • 45
      Judas says:

      But Balls doesn’t have an integrity to impugn.

    • 105
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      Balls has no integrity to impugn!

      • 123
        What they say is not necessarily what we think it means says:

        Remember this is New Labour integrity we are talking about, not at all like the commoner garden variety which applies to everyone else. I first became aware of the New Labour variety when Tony Blair on announcing the resignation of David Blunket after the Kimberly Quinn affair informed the British people that Blunket had left office with his integrity intact. Of course he did all he had done was getting caught out shagging another mans wife and possibly getting her up the duff. He also stole travel warrants for said floozie and her nanny BUT his ( new labour) integrity remained intact. So there you have it.

    • 155
      50 Calibre says:

      He has no integrity to impugn. He never has had any and regardless of the position he has in the Liebour Party, he never will have any either.

      He’s a sack of shit, pure and simple.

      • 196
        Ed Balls says:

        But I do have a very light touch.

      • 223
        Hugh Janus says:

        There are some thoroughly unpleasant people in politics, and then there’s the odious, hypocritical low-life Balls, who is definitely in a league of his own.

      • 239
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Problem is – the stablishment still think that they can sell this kinda crap to the public as HM’s Opposition …. Who the F ffs do the stablishment think they are kidding – it aint the public its themselves – who have been shown to be the ‘biggest world wide laughing stock’?

        You’re havin a larf Brenda – if you think you can get away with this shambles.

    • 251
      Band wagon says:
      • 264
        doolally Delaney says:

        Go easy on her!She has to live with Gorgon Frown for the rest of her life.

        • 272
          Zoro says:

          Isn’t there a get out clause, a sainty clause as Marx put it, in her ‘Prime Ministers Wife’ contract?

      • 324
        Expat Geordie says:

        But had we not been stuck with the curse of “Multi-culturism”, imposed upon us by people like yourself, Sarah, then 7/7 would never have happened.

        I don’t understand these lefties. When it is called “multi-culturism” it’s a good thing. When it’s called “apartheid” it’s a bad thing. But it’s the SAME bloody thing.

    • 316
      Anonymous says:

      Is it just me, or is Balls looking increasingly desperate lately ? I think he sees any chance of him being leader slipping away (the same for his Yvette) He is vile so im pleased !

  2. 2
    Exsqueeze me says:

    What integrity is Ed Balls on about?

    • 5
      Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flipper ) says:

      Do triple flippers have integrity ?

    • 10
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      Indeed — that was the first thought that entered my tiny, housefly-like mind.

    • 180
      M says:

      You are all forgetting the integrity is a concept that can be conveniently
      reset with impunity .
      Just like their selective memory of 13 years in power . When you screw up as badly as balls did you simply go into denial
      ( and for the lefty’s out there that’s not the river in Eygpt )
      And labour are currently working in the year of our lord 2 .

    • 241
      Jen The blue says:

      Indeed. Mr. Edward Balls should sue Mr. George Osborne and see how much he is awarded. My guess would be about a penny if there is any justice.

  3. 3
    MB. says:

    “Impugning integrity since 1928.”

    The scan shown has “1828″ (when the Spectator started publication)

  4. 4
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

  5. 7
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    • 156
      50 Calibre says:

      Nice one. The man’s a sack of shit…

      • 197
        do me a favour says:

        Good to be reminded.
        I’d forgotten he’d claimed for a poppy wreath on x’s.

    • 379
      pablo the Scot says:

      That was an eye-opener. I always knew he was slimey, lying, hypocritical toad but that was merely my inbuilt prejudice against all politicians showing. Now I know its actually based on fact I am really angry!

  6. 8
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Stalin, Lenin, Marx and Trotsky – will be turning in their graves – at how Balls & Co have exposed Marxist Socialist Communism to be a ‘great big lie’. Rejoice.

    • 13
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      Much as I agree with your sentiments vis-a-vis Eduardo Bollox and his little pals, I have to say a far more comprehensive job was done by the Soviets themselves, culminating in the fall of the Wall in 1989.

      • 34
        Blowing Whistles says:

        With Respect Sir A M – I believe I have made several mentions of the Downfall of Communism – which ‘officially ended in 1991′.

        The good thing is that – hopefully some of the hitherto knuckle heads of socialism are having to address that their ‘ideology’ is a complete and utter scam. Far be it from the likes of Ed B or Ed m or any of them to admit that they’ve been well and truly ‘sold a whopper’ which they have believed for all of their saddo lives.

    • 25
      What Socialists tell themselves despite 100 years of failure says:

      Nonsense it will work next time comrade.

      • 90
        Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

        Just look at North Korea!

        • 121
          Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

          Cynics; socialism does work and well. You only have to go to Russia to see how well it works, and I should know, having visited it on many occasions, and even been awarded the Order of Lenin for my troubles. My son Che is also in full agreement with me, he works for my boys. Boaz.

  7. 9
    Teacher of basic English says:

    Balls’s demand.

  8. 12
    Bugler Bert says:

    Ballsache can go and bugger himself – if he knows how…………….

  9. 15
    Backwoodsman says:

    Balls, a man so bereft of honour that in an Anthony Trollope novel, would have been pretty sure to receive ‘a horse-whipping on the steps of his club’.

    • 17
      Editor's Guild says:

      or be caught horse whipping a foal before laying the milk maid out…

      • 19
        wick ferry says:

        or slipping crippled Tim a crippler between beatings before being taken out and publicly applauded….(its set in scotland)

  10. 16
    Charles Darwin says:

    Goebbels dressed as Göring. Evolution took a wrong turn somewhere.

  11. 18
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    Balls is a liar.

    • 30
      Pickled Wizard says:

      Methinks balls doth protest too much? (with apologies to the Bard)

  12. 22
    Βillу Βowden Watch says:
    • 27

      Chris Evans has gone downhill rather.

      • 37
        Gwyneth Paltrow's Kitchentable Book of Urban Warfare says:

        I think it’s actually Michael Gove.

        • 50
          Expat Geordie says:

          I thought that it was Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall.

          • Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

            It’s enough to make you start approving of M*slim dress codes (which also apply to males, no shorts permitted).

        • 114
          Must get a pseudonym one day says:

          Got a slight look of Martin McGuinness to me.

      • 184
        Anonymous says:

        Can’t be sure, but it’s either Ed Winky or Ned Twinky.

    • 28
      Aunt Hilda says:

      hope u didn’t get any of that on your blouse dear

    • 48
      Gay Gordon says:
      • 51
        Expat Geordie says:

        Takes one to know one?

      • 58
        Venus Williams says:

        But Serena might not win

      • 62
        concrete pimp says:

        Tell me, what are they fucking proud of? I’m proud of the size of my cock, but I don’t go on a fucking march about it.

        • 63
          Expat Geordie says:


        • 94
          Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

          They were parading around Toronto, letting it all hang out, if you get my drift.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I do get somewhat annoyed that the rear entry specialist community have this annoying habit of appropriating perfectly acceptable English words and perverting them. Gay, pride, beard. All perfectly normal words stolen and abused by the shite stabbers.

            It’s bad enough that the Yanks have managed to mangle our language without this as well.

        • 109
          CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

          The PC Brigade keep telling us it’s wrong to stereotype, but have you seen the screaming queens who go on these Gay Pride marches? They behave exactly the same as the “comedy” gays of 1970s sit-coms (think of Dick Emery’s “Hello Honky Tonk ).

          These militant proud-to-be-gays have become their own stereotypes.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            But steroetypes exist for a reason. They are generally an exageration of what actually exists. And sometimes there is not a lot of exageration.

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Give ‘em a few rights and they think they can rule the world – or can they “think beyond” – their self obsessed, pitiful, exhibitionist, narcissistic girlie wants to be allowed to wear womens underwear and parade themselves in every manner of utter degrading sexual orientation – like they are women???

            Gayers can have some rights and to a point – but no – not to be allowed to flaunt and parade themselves in that stuff legally in front of minors – giving a false impression to minors. That’s what perverts desire to do.

            Who gave all these miltiant homos these rights and powers and why? Is there some dark hidden common purpose behind it all?

            And while I’m at it – take a look at the paedo ‘cover up’ story in the Indy Sat 7th July page 9 about Rupert Murdoch and his ‘merry men’. Arthur C Clark mate of Rupees – and Rupees editor at the time ‘protected the SOAB paedo’. [All the Media Moguls had all the names of the most high profile paeods on the Op Ore list – didn’t the Media Moguls – just use those on the list for their own greedy ends. Who’s been protecting Roman Polanski – for decades; and more importantly WHY?

      • 78
        Sarah Twatter says:

        Will be tweeting more vacuous twaddle throughout the rest of time. Stay tuned !

      • 221
        Sarah Twat the Titty Tweeter says:

        As I’ve said b4, my heart goes out to these people what can’t have normal sex like what me and Gordon have. Is there some sort of treatment I wonder?

    • 84
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      There is no accounting for what gives Charlotte (or anyone else) a boner. Yvette Cooper doesn’t do much for me, but apparently Ed B finds her attractive. Assuming they aren’t bearding each other, but in this day and age, you’d wonder why that sort of thing would still be necessary.

      • 102

        …in this day and age… it is a wonder that any new babies are still born.

        Boys marry boys.
        Girls marry girls.
        People marry dogs and horses. Cats even.
        When a couple of the opposite sex do get together, it is the back passage that er … seems to takes the hit.

        Every so often presumably, some couple accidentally does it the right way and, not being prepared in any way, a new member of the human race is created, more out of sheer confusion than because of any intention.

        • 115
          Expat Geordie says:

          I blame the “pop shot” of interweb pórn fame. Kids think that you finish up by making a mess all over her tits instead of inside her. No wonder the birth rate is falling.

        • 116
          Aldous Huxley says:

          I did write about this sort of thing, i.e., not leaving human conception to chance, about 70-odd years ago– a “Brave New World” in which certain people were bred to be the leaders and others were bred to be the rabble, in which everyone was educated into a belief system by the state to accept the State-As-Parent, in which everyone was expected to be mildly intoxicated and engaging in mindless sex (mandatory female contraception, however!) in which consumption and travel were encouraged in order to dr!ve the economy, and everyone would live happily ever after.

          Pretty much all we’re going to need now is the mandatory contraception, and artificial uteri for industrial scale IVF, and we’re there.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            The only thing that you got wrong was the timing. Didn’t you say that it would take 600 years to happen?

          • Trahison des Clercs says:

            But if I remember correctly, long time since I read it, didn’t quite work out as they hoped it would. Did hoi-polloi bring about a new world order?

        • 222
          Bike Lover says:

          I married my first bike. Now I’ve got several in the shed – one each day of the week. These muzzies know a thing or two!

      • 202
        Southern Softy says:

        I’d give her one

    • 89
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      love her name

    • 207
      fruitcake says:

      nasty pair of trainers…just nasty.

    • 367
      De Cameron says:

      It’s an old picture of John Major after a confused session with Edwina.

  13. 23
    Moriarty says:

    Anyone buying anything on the strength of an Ed Balls endorsement is already beyond help and should be considered lost to rational society.

  14. 29
    Pooh sticks says:

    Balls is incompetent.

  15. 32
    Mad frankies older sister says:

    When did Balls acquire any integrity?

  16. 33
    Blair Waugh-Monger says:

    Ed Balls makes me look peachy by comparison.
    ‘I’m-peachy Blair’, that’s what they used to call me (or something like that).

    • 54
      Police Brutality says:

      Blair Peach? Didn’t he get his skull cracked in a riot about thirty years ago?

      • 66
        Expat Geordie says:

        A worthless Kiwi communist (and teacher) who got what he deserved.

        • 261
          CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

          All Peach’s mates accused Plod of murdering him by bashing him on the bonce with a truncheon.

          Coppers’truncheons were designed to split skin and not crack bone. I remember the results of Peach’s post mortem showing that his crushing head injuries were caused by something like an lead pipe. The dead weight of the lead transferring all the force of the blow into the skull, causing massive fracturing. A copper’s truncheon would have bounced off the head, which may have split the skin, raised a lump and possibly caused some bleeding.

          So it looks as if Peach may have been seen off by one of his comrades during the meleé.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Made from holly wood if I remember correctly, hence the nickname “Hollies”. Not like that ugly, metal, American asp thing that my police woman sister carries today.

  17. 36
    Fulltime Political activists posing as student watch says:

    OT but does anyone know if Clare Solomons has managed to sit her finals and actually graduate yet ?

    • 41
      Gwyneth Paltrow's Compendium of Biological Weapons says:

      Any student who get’s “into politics” should be considered defective and sent to China for re-cycling.

  18. 38
    Jeremy Clarkson says:

    He should be taken outside ….

    Oh fuck it you all know the drill by now.

    • 74
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      A drill would be slower and thus much more fun!

      • 142
        Cruel and Unusual Punishments says:

        I’ve lately become rather fond of the angle grinder, – messy – but hey! – who worries about cleaning up?

      • 149
        taC eht abbaJ says:

        A hand turned pencil in each ear would be even more satisfying to watch…

  19. 39
    watch this space says:


    • 46
      kerboom says:

      good example of the higgs boson theory

      • 57
        Standard Model says:

        14 Billion Euros/years to find something we can’t see but knew was there all along.

        • 61
          kerboom says:

          yeah the bits where fuck all else is…I asked yesterday if I could get a nobel prize for doing fuck all when someone will get one for discovering fuck all

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            Al the Goremonger got a Nobel prize for some mythological scientific kinda thing some years ago – but he won’t come out in public any more – because he’s just a tad embarrassed that it’s all been shown to be a fake. He’s got lots of deluded followers mind!!!

            Mind you – It’s just another one of them evil cults like scientology.

          • Gordon Brown Tomorrow's Man says:

            chingrinner has a lot to answer for ….plop

        • 69
          annette curton says:

          Not imprest, Harry Stottle did it with an apple.

        • 85
          A Thickhead (Dec'd) says:

          Holymoly! You have just found Balls’s integrity!!

  20. 47
    Strange but rather intriguing??? says:

    • 59
      concrete pimp says:

      It’s cheaper than crystal meth, that’s for sure.

    • 60
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      Reminds me of one of my strange dreams

      • 65
        Roy Orbison says:

        Er, I didn’t notice anybody felching a scabby arsed tramp whilst being rogered from behind by a rabid Kangaroo dressed as a St Trinian’s schoolgirl.

    • 64
      just on step ladder up to top of wardrobe.. says:

      reminds me of the hot dog I had last night..she was a barker

    • 118
      Expat Geordie says:

      I can’t believe that I just wasted 7 minutes 28 seconds of my life on this.

  21. 49
    Silent Bob says:
  22. 67
    Taxfodder says:

    So there I was spraying my toms in me greenhouse and bemoaning a touch of whitefly, thinking to myself Ed Balls is a ft slug when my mind turned to higher things….enjoy

    • 73
      Quo down says:

      song..timeless…video crap

      • 120
        Expat Geordie says:

        I’m surprised that they got away with it at 7.15 pm on a Thusday night in the mid 70′s.

        • 159
          John Reith, 1st Baron Reith says:

          wouldnt happen in todays bbc … no minorities, none openly lesbian, no overt support for palestine in the songs lyrics and no way to sneak support for the labour party into the dance moves

  23. 70
    Cheroot smoking arty type says:

    Can you get this rag for nowt like other socialist benefits?

  24. 75
    Bernie's Circus says:

    is it just me or is F1 really lost it or just over governed…and can’t bbc find three presenters other than coulthard jordan and the jake…benal bollocks …and murray walker should have stayed retired

  25. 79
    Calamity Clegg says:

    If you don’t vote for the FibDems Lords Reform, we’ll take our ball home.

    • 117
      LibDems attempt to gerrymander House of Lords found out says:

      The LibDems have lost what credability they had left(admitted not much).They are talking complete bollocks. The Coalition Agreement does not link House of Lords Reform to Boundary Reform. The agreement was that the Tories would support AV Reform(which they did)subject to the LibDems winning a referendum(which they failed to do)and the LibDems would then support the legislation re Boundary Reforms.

      The only thing that the Coalition Agreement says about House of Lords Reform is that both parties will try and get a consensus in Parliament for reform.They haven’t.
      The LibDems are as usual having a sulk.They really need to grow up. They are totally unfit for government and thankfully at the 2015 election they’ll cease to exist in any meaningful numbers in the HofC

      • 141
        Calamity Clegg says:

        Never underestimate our ability to cheat, lie and smear our way into office.


        • 188
          nellnewman says:


          libdems are incompetent and unfit for office but they are not evil like gordon and bullyballs who could lie smear and stab folks in the back better even than the Medici – and they were banker/politicians as well!!

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Actually Nell, considering the way that they behave at election time I would say that they are evil, just not very good at it.

      • 182
        Simone Hughes says:

        Total Bollocks as I stated to my friends on the BBC Toady Programme.
        Lib Dems never linked anything on the coalition government agreement.
        We demand the right to do whatever we like in order to ensure our real friends the Labour Party succeed in the next election.
        We trust in them to honour our agreement that we will be an integral part of the next government, with meeeee as new LibDem leader.

        • 189
          nellnewman says:

          I do hope so – you are less appe@ling than vince and cleggie – lib dems will really hit the rocks then and well deserved it will be.

          • the stench of hypocrisy says:

            If the Lib Dems are so anti the House of Lords, why do so many of them accept peerages when leaving office?

      • 215
        Rocknrolla says:

        “They are talking complete bollocks. The Coalition Agreement does not link House of Lords Reform to Boundary Reform. The agreement was that the Tories would support AV Reform(which they did)subject to the LibDems winning a referendum(which they failed to do)and the LibDems would then support the legislation re Boundary Reforms.”

        Perfect summary. Just goes to show the libs never really wanted a coalition, i.e. having to make compromises and behave like adults. They just wanted all the power without that pesky business of having to win an election first. They’re scum. Pro-EU semi-fascist scum.

  26. 86
    Conflicted says:

    oliver cromwell and guy fawkes were two of the greatest Britons that ever lived IMO!

    - all for one and one for all(because were all in it together), LeicesterUKnotOK(probably the highest taxed nation on the planet), 7/7/2012 10:11

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2169995/Oliver-Cromwell-poster-boy-truly-miserable-Christmas-Anti-fun-charter-1651-spells-grim-vision-nation.html#ixzz1zwhUDlwd

    Got that half right so how do I give half a green tick and half a red?

    • 220
      Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

      We are unsure how to categorize your admiration for both Oliver Cromwell and Guy Fawkes. It may cancel out to zero ticks.

    • 234
      Yorra Knutter says:

      Oh yeah, such a great guy that his body was exhumed and ritually posthumously executed again, then hanged in chains at Tyburn, then thrown into a pit, while his severed head was displayed on a pole outside Westminster Hall. His head changed hands several times, even being sold, and was not buried until 1960!

    • 353
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      All those two shared was a desire to kill the King. They couldn’t have been more different; take religious beliefs for a start. The original Guido Fawkes and the Lord Protector would have been at each other’s throats, FFS! Still, one wonders if the original Guido may not have inspired Ol’ Noll in daring to think he could overthrow the King– hey, if a Papist tried it and almost succeeded, maybe I, a Puritan with God on MY side, will succeed where the popish plonker failed!

  27. 93
    Gordon Brown says:

    I am considering changing my name to Gridiron Brown with the intention of becoming womens olympic discus throwing champion

    • 99
      bandersnatch says:

      No chance, luvvie. Anyone remember Tamara Press? Nowadays they have embarrassing sex (NB not gender) checks. Not just your naughty, bits but your hormones and all. Me I think they should just take a cheek swab and say unless it comes out XX you can’t play as a laydee, but then I’m very simple minded. On second thoughts… perhaps Gordie is a chimera? I wonder…

    • 100
      Chingrinner Memorial Committee says:

      if you don’t get in the team theres a vacancy for a javelin catcher..could be good for you gordon…we would enjoy your chingrinning that day

    • 106
      Anonymous says:

      You could ask mrs Dromey he seems to be able to be an MP doing it via an all womans list in the Libor party with changing anything.

  28. 98
    Baron Hogwash says:

    Where is Cooper Balls, former chief secretary to the treasury?

    • 101
      Ascerbic C'unt scrutiny committee says:

      steam cleaning her minge

      • 135
        Sandy Blaster says:

        Do you mind! Steam wouldn’t touch it! You need our services!!

        • 144
          Ascerbic C'unt scrutiny committee says:

          you better tackle the squitterbox … we’re still at it …this bitch is a real clinkercatcher

      • 147
        Big Balls says:

        No need she take sit up the ka ka whilst her man watches as he operates the Portuguese hand pump i read it in Daily Sport

  29. 119
    The Met Office says:

    The forecast for average UK rainfall slightly favours drier than average conditions for AprilMayJune as a whole, and also slightly favours April being the driest of the 3 months.
    With this forecast, the water resources situation in southern, eastern and central England is likely to deteriorate further during the April-May-June
    The probability that UK precipitation for April-May-June
    will fall into the driest of our five categories is 20-25%
    whilst the probability that it will fall into the wettest of our five categories is 10-15% (the 1971-2000 climatological probability for each of these categories is 20%).


    • 122
      Expat Geordie says:

      If it rains, it’s climate change.

      If it doesn’t rain, it’s climate change.

      Climate change is all the fault of the little people driving cars and going on holiday.

      Give us more money so we can tell you more about climate change and how it is all your fault.


      The Met Office


      • 130
        Brrrrrian "The Chill" Leveson says:

        Don’t forget, leaving your TV on stand-by for 1 hour will kill 100 polar bears and 300 penguins per day for the next 12 years. A nice chap at East Anglia University told me this so it must be true.

      • 153
        Tachybaptus says:

        … and give us even more money so that hundreds of climate change gurus can fly to Rio and spend days living the high life and occasionally attending a pointless conference where nothing is decided, and if it were decided it wouldn’t make a ha’porth of difference to anything.

      • 185
        Salford Sal says:

        Nah, it’s all Fatcher’s fault innit?

    • 126
      completely quackers says:

      its good for ducks

    • 133
      The Met Office, The 'Green' Partee, Camertwat, and misc other lady's salty parts says:

      It the severest drought for centuries! We should know – we inveneted it!

      • 172
        nellnewman says:

        And then the beeb environmental church of ‘science’ says – the sahara desert will be forest by 2050 and eastanglia will be under the sea.

        And those of you who refuse to believe will be imprisoned in the Hole and beaten and starved.

        • 187
          PC Met Office says:

          We advise all local councils to build arks.
          Take two of every public sector grouping, socialist and ethnic minority types for the water journey of the century.

          • Trundlemaster says:

            Aha a ‘B’ Ark then what a brilliant idea. I just feel sorry for the land that ends up with a shed load of worthless diversity officers and ranting tossers.

          • Expat Geordie says:

            We advise all local councils to build arks.
            Take two of every public sector grouping, socialist and ethnic minority types for the water journey of the century.

            Then lock it from the outside and set fire to the bastard.

  30. 129

    An expense is defined as:
    a financial burden or outlay

    To claim for the same money twice is called obtaining money under false pretences. To deliberately do so is called fraud.

    Ed Balls and Yvette Cooper each claimed for the same expense more than once. They also both over-claimed on other expenses.

    They claimed mistake, despite the repetition. Due to the appallingly lax way that expenses were administrated, their excuses were accepted by the fees office. Other MPs went to prison for similar types of offences.

    Most of us might consider it as fraud – the more so as we are paying the bill. Caught in the same situation, with public funds to which we were not entitled, most of us would probably be found guilty of fraud.

    Balls now claims that his integrity has been impugned. The record shows that Balls has no integrity to impugn.

    • 131
      green ink says:

      spot on moniker

      • 139
        Gooey Blob says:

        Absolutely. One has to wonder what goes through people’s heads in a party that selects Ed Balls as its finance spokesman, when there are more talented individuals sitting on its backbenches doing nothing.

        • 169
          nellnewman says:

          talented individuals on labour’s backbenches?

          I don’t think so!! There aren’t any on their front benches either.

          • Trundlemaster says:

            Talented individuals like the uber wishy washy christian socialist fool Stephen Timms for example I suppose. He was stabbed by a jihadist nutter but still said he was not bitter about it. Mr Timms I’ll tell you who’s bitter, it’s all the generations of people who used to live in your constituency but who had to move out because your party kept favouring members of the religion of peace.

    • 237
      Henry VI says:

      How about a private prosection – Class action – any libertarian lawyers want to have a go for us?

  31. 132
    A Ball's endorsed lasagne sauce ad says:

    (opening music)

    (Breathless excited Voice (it is Evadne Bollocks)) NOO! NOO! NOO!

    I wouldn’t be without it!!

    Every bottle is made by Ed’s sweaty hands rubbing the purest olive oil all round his balls and then squeezing every drop – by hand – into a bottle!!!!!

    And of course – there’s a secret ingredient – that only I know!!!!!! – and I’m not telling you where that comes from!! – but let’s just say, it needs a WOMAN’S TOUCH to harvest it fresh every morning – fresh as the morning dew !!!!

    So hurry along to your nearest chemist – I mean grocery store for BALLSUP BALONEY SAUCE!!! – is that right Eddy babe?

    • 136
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      Buy one, get a thousand free

      • 191
        nellnewman says:

        Ah Gove the one man who has made cameron’s government respectable and is retoring decent education standards after more than decade.

        Maybe he’d make a great tory leader!

  32. 148
    UKIP.i.am says:


    UKIP beating Tories in Welsh Assembly poll

    Welsh Assembly List: CON 11%(-2), LAB 35%(+2), LDEM 8%(-1), PC 20%(-2), UKIP 12%(+2)

  33. 158
    McPoison says:

    Ed Balls has almost as much integrity as me.

  34. 160
    Well, I did warn you... says:

    DO NOT PRESS! >☻<

    • 200
      John says:

      the holes some people live in its disgusting…I’m going to protest to the authroizes

    • 224
      Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

      But I couldn’t resist, unfortunately.

  35. 161
    nellnewman says:

    bullyballs said ‘he has impugned my integrity’

    ++++Laugh++++ What integrity?

    • 168
      i wuv u nellie no knickers says:

      nell nell, press that button just above your comment, please please pretty please with cherries on top!!

      • 170
        nellnewman says:

        Er no. It doesn’t explain what it is. Anybody sensible person with a computer knows they musn’t allow virus’s to infect. I wouldn’t even contemplate pressing that button.

  36. 162
    Mr Gove A.K.A Pob says:

    Is there a reason that the story impugning Mr Lebvedev’s business ability no longer appears when I scroll through your stories in chronological order? Did someone have a word in your ear?

    Oh, and can someone else point out to Neo.Guido that I doubt he was (as he says) at the same concert as Mr and Ms Diamond (did he see it in the states?) and that the hand signal that he refers to is not a Kanye ‘diamonds are forever’ symbol but the Roc symbol that Jay Z uses to promote his record label Roc-a-fella (the logo of which is a diamond.

    Nothing worse than bloated young fogies pretending to be down with the kids.

    • 164
      nellnewman says:

      Couldn’t someone have taught you to spe@k English?

      None of that seems to make much sense.

    • 238
      Your Friendly Neighbourhood Conspiracy Theory Debunking Service says:

      Apparently, Mr Gove A.K.A. Pob, you did not receive the memo that certain stories are “Order-order,” (i.e. main blog) and certain others are “Media Guido” (i.e., Guido’s blog-within-a-blog, presumably a testing of the waters for an all-new separate operation The Old Man will run after the main blog is handed off to Neo). The story you were seeking, assuming you haven’t found it yet, can be checked out by clicking the Media Guido icon at the top of the page, or you can access it through Guido’s archive where you see the Google logo.

  37. 166
    Lord Ashcroft says:

    I’ll get the bugger next time.

    • 174
      Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

      I am a man of enormous moral fibre and a brilliant MP. There is not a scintilla of smugness in my body.

      • 176
        R.U. Shaw says:
        • 190
          Tacitus says:

          Talking of Toxic Cultures.
          The two worst toxic cultures in Britain are in the BBC and Westminster.
          If these two are not reformed then the country will go down even faster than it has over the last 16 years.

          • nellnewman says:

            beeb first because we could sell it off for loadsmoney to foreign media companies and immediately benefit the taxpayers.

          • Southern Softy says:

            You’ve missed out the educational establishment which is ensuring that the rising generation is unemployable.

          • Mad, Bad & Dangerous Gordon McRuin ( Member in absentia ) says:

            British jobs for British workers !

          • Lines by the poet MacBonkersAll says:

            Oh silvery waters o’ the Tay
            Gordon gave our gold away!


          • Chlöe Sal Gerbeeba says:

            Control of both has already been sold to foreign puppet-masters.
            Selling off the substance of the British Brainwashing Company could only result in even more money being forcibly extorted from us all.
            The BBC needs to be closed down permanently.
            Nuke it from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure.

  38. 167
    Gordon Brown says:

    from now my afternoon poo will tale place behind closed doors

    • 175
      Well it's a thought says:

      I agree so long as the doors belong to a prison cell.

    • 178
      Nurse says:

      Now Gordon, you know full well we simply cannot allow you to be in a closed space by yourself! You MUST be supervised!

      Horrible job for us I know – but better that than an inquiry into what you did and how, – or as we often say, NOT ON MY WARD AND NOT ON MY SHIFT!

    • 227
      Aunty Matter says:

      Remember Gordon to tell your boyfriend to take his cock out of your arse before you poo.

  39. 181
    Walsall says:
  40. 186
    Louise Mensch says:

    It’s Saturday night and everybody must get stoned.

  41. 206
    Fabians are Evil says:

    OK give the bastard back his “integrity” by way of a sign hanging around his neck – as he dances the ‘Tyburn Jig’.

    In better times Brown, Balls and a few other of his ‘mates’ would now be in the Tower for their treasonous acts against the British people.

    Fuck him and Fuck his so called ‘integrity’

  42. 209
    Indy says:

    We would like to remind those people who adopt a patronising and supercilious attitude to Owen Jones and regard his political and historical insights as puerile and laughable, that Owen is the proud possessor of a grade D in GCSE Cultural Studies. Moreover, he has been extremely successful in our efforts to tap into the pre-teen market.

  43. 211
    Hand-wringing Grouniad-reading Muesli-eating Wimmin Wearing Effnic Skirts says:

    Oh how sensitive!!! Polly darrrhhling – isn’t that sensitive?

    • 212
      Hand-wringing Grouniad-reading Muesli-eating Wimmin Wearing Effnic Skirts says:

      response to # 207

  44. 213
    Gordon Brown says:

    i am planning to sell grapes at the farmers market

  45. 216
    Walsall says:
  46. 217
    Saffron says:

    Owen Jones who in their right mind gives this assh-le any oxegen of publicity at all.
    The pimply youth of im and his generation should just b-g-er off and learn what the real problems in this world are all about.
    I for one do not take lectures from the likes of him and his ass-ole compatriots.
    This world is run by powerful shitarses,who frankly don’t care a toss about ordinary people,it is all about power/power/power to control the masses.
    today we are seeing how this has left all of the world in turmoil.
    How will this end?,don’t know but IMHO it now seems make or break times.

    • 245
      Best of British ( dragging Nell, Paragnostic, Jgm2, Moniker , and Smoggie all behind us ) says:

      Owen Jones is English, Right ?

      • 253
        Sheep shaggers UTD says:

        Unfortunately he is. It is one of life’s great mysteries that a lad called Owen Jones is a Yorkshire boy and not a Taff.

  47. 219
    Anonymous says:

    Speculation is growing of an unlikely association between the burial of the Italian cithy of Pompeii in AD 79 and an hitherto unknown and unnamed Scotsman. Historians at propaganda Central are suggesting that the burial of the city can no longer be ascribed to the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. “New evidence confirms the presence of a Lallans Scot, Gordonius Livius Brownius, at the site immediately prior to the alleged eruption,” claimed a chinless wanker who gave his name as “Gideo . . . er, call me Mr. O.” “This is conclusive proof of what we have suspected all along,” added a no-necked monster called Pickle, “that the boy Brown is responsible for absolutely everying. This means, of course, that we are not to blame for the litany of disastrous decisions we have made.” The curse of Jonah strikes again.

    • 230


    • 244
      Best of British ( dragging Nell, Paragnostic, Jgm2, Moniker , and Smoggie all behind us ) says:

      No it simply a made up thing by a really bigoted Englishman.In fact I’ll go further and call it racist.

      • 281


        A fine Labour word for special employment when their argument runs out, normally quite early on in the process.

        What makes this poster think that nell (note l/c BTW) is a man?

        No requirement for a space before a comma but there should be one after a full stop. Neither are spaces immediately required inside parentheses.)

        In this poster’s dream world, he should be able to report us all to the police for racism and they would immediately lock us all up without trial. He nearly got his dream world under Gordon Brown.

        Still, there will be a number of people here who will feel insulted by non-inclusion in his little list. So, in another of Labour’s pet words, he is failing to be inclusive.

        • 283
          Reading their pathetic attempts to justify themselves says:

          No mate you are bigoted, just substitute references to the colour of someones skin or use the word Jew instead of Scottish and you see how racist and bigoted your postings are. Nothing to do with loosing an argument .

        • 338
          Expat Geordie says:

          Yes but inclusive specifically EXCLUDES white, male, Christian(either practising or following traditional Christian modes of conduct) , English, right wing and working in the private sector.

          That’ll be me then.

    • 271
      UKIP.i.am says:

      Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s. The economic mess of Britannia was created by Brown. No amount of rewriting of history by left wing liars can alter that fact.

  48. 226
    Aunty Matter says:

    Shouldn’t Ed Balls we better off being used to advertise Nazi uniform hire? I notice this shop doesn’t hire to the general public, so where did Ed get his from? A member of his family perhaps?


  49. 229
    Aunty Matter says:

    Why is the BBC getting so fucking worked up about a couple of miles of th eM4 being blocked?

    Prescott’s goons have been fucking digging up the M1 for 10 years now between the M25 and Milton Keynes (when the lazy c u n t z actually turn up for work) and that causes more accidents and queues.

    Perhaps the beeboids are upset that they will be delayed when flying out on holiday to the other side of the world.

  50. 231
    the gay cinema usher says:

    Is this the sexiest opening sequence ever (excluding the appearance of Simon Pegg obviously)?

    • 342
      Expat Geordie says:

      Sorry mate, I thought that Simon Pegg was the best part of it.

      I’ve never been Tom Cruise’s greatest fan though. I remember queing outside of the ABC in Darlington to see Top Gun and then wondering what all the fuss was about.

  51. 242
    Best of British ( dragging Nell, Paragnostic, Jgm2, Moniker , and Smoggie all behind us ) says:

    well done Joanthan Marray !

    • 249
      grim says:

      does he get to shag one of the winning ladies players?

    • 345
      Expat Geordie says:

      Agreed, and he’s English. I bet that has really hacked of Andy Murray though. All that expectation of him being the first Briton to win at Wimbledon in 74 years and he gets beaten to it by a day.

  52. 247
    The Silent Majority says:


  53. 250
    Choices says:

    O Gord I’m fucked with choices now.

    Do I watch Lewis Hamilton lose live at Silverstone?


    Andy Murray lose live at Wimbledon?


    Go for a Sunday Walk?

  54. 259
    The silent silent majority says:

    Meat pizza please and a coca cola,

  55. 260
    The tired silent majority says:

    Ah bugger it I’am going to bed.

  56. 266
    albacore says:

    Poor Ed, all he can talk is Balls
    Imagine, though, if duty calls
    And he were to become P M
    Well, wouldn’t he make a real gem?

  57. 269
    UKIP.i.am says:

    Ossy v Ballsup. Call that a spat?

    This is a spat:


    • 295
      Not U Turn Dave's voter says:

      Love it!

      Who wants to debate? Waste of time. Let the best man win.

      Pity we have all been prohibited from using pistols and hand guns. The ‘elf and safety brigade as usuial. The control freaks as usual.

      They work for us, remember?

      vote UKIP

  58. 273
    Zoro says:

    I hold to the fact that no man is a complete sack of shit, and ed balls is the exception that proves this rule.

  59. 274
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    If Andy Murray doesn’t win today at Wimbledon,I will promise a judge led enquiry.

    And that’s a cast iron guarantee.

    • 277
      deuce says:

      One for all fans of Murray.

      • 284
        UKIP.i.am says:

        I’m sick of all the TV attention Murray is getting. Tennis is a game for wimmins. There has hardly been any mention of Wiggins and the SKY team at the Tour de France. Even SKY don’t give it much air time.

        • 301
          Preston Panns says:

          Creases me that every time Sky refers to Murray as “British” the jocks keep texting them that he is “Scottish”

          So I decicate this to them and Andy of course

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Hardly a traditional Scottish song though, is it? Wasn’t it written for their rugby team in the 1970′s?

            On that basis wouldn’t “Donald Where’s Your Troosers?” be more appropriate?

            Or possibly The Gay Gordons?

  60. 279
    Zoro says:

    Sunday is here at last and I shall wast no time in going out to buy a copy of the TV tits and bums with Giddy O’s bit in it.

    • 280
      Zoro says:

      Arrgh. *Waste*

    • 285
      Aster says:

      I ran to the newsagents but they’d sold out.

      • 298
        m’Lard PrizeClot, NooLieBore Illustration, Scoff, TV Personality, - commenting on current events says:

        i get moine delivered by that paper girl so i get double benefit i arsked ‘er in to share me breakfust with me but she sede she adta move on phwooarrrh!!!! – she’s a lovely little moova!!! – she’s growing up quick!! new ‘er fer years!!

    • 299

      I am currently on the northern border of Oberösterreich and can report that the locals here read nothing else, being totally dedicated to this organ. Over the river, one may see the Freistaat Bayernese clutching their copies as they rush back from the newagents.

      Lesen macht frei!

  61. 289
    David Cameron (Leader of the Nasty Party) says:

    “I did serious politics and it messed up my brain”

  62. 291
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    All the millions of hugely costly mistakes I made during The Reign of Terror 1997-2010 were the fault of George Osborne.

  63. 293
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    ” Bankers bonuses should be slashed and the government should introduce a tax on bankers’ bonuses”.

  64. 296
    Tin Can Cam, justifying his vapid policies says:

    The Common People are at the end of their tether with me

  65. 297
    Not U Turn Dave's voter says:

    Most of these posts above are just from centre left, centre right Camoron luvvies.

    The future of the Conservative (remember the word?) is now with UKIP

    • 300
      BBC Newsroom lefties says:

      Not if we have our way.

      • 303
        I was Chief Advisor to the Loon o' Fife says:

        To-day I am mainly writing in the Mail about my cunning plan to reform the banks.

        PS I hope nobody asks what I was doing about it between 1997 – 2010.

  66. 306
    Incapable Vince says:

    Am I the first Business Secretary in the World who is actually anti-business ?

    • 311
      Cable is an a*rse says:

      Possibly. Is he the first Business Secretary in the world who’s never run a business?

      In fact, is he the first Business Secretary who’s never worked in business? Not quite – in Cable’s illustrious 46-year working life, he spent just under 2 years working in the private sector, at Shell – in 1995. Google “Ken Saro-wiwa” to see what Shell were up to at the time.

  67. 308
    Mornington Crescent says:

    If you’re not a supporter of the Jockanese, look away now:


    • 310
      St George says:


    • 313
      Camoron is an a*rse says:

      I’m sure Alex Salmond willy fly the flag of St George over Holyrood (or whatever their pretend parliament’s called) when English athletes get bronze, silver or gold.

      • 320
        Pathetic & Obvious says:

        I would have thought Camomong is just trying to steal Murray’s thunder from Salmong, he doesn’t want it fuelling the Scotchland independent vote.

    • 319
      concrete pump says:

      Fuck me gently with a chainsaw…..!!!

    • 346
      Dave banks on the "feel-good" factor to hide his political problems says:

      If Murray wins to-day..the first British(or er Scottish)player to do so for 74 years I confidently expect that he will be knighted immediately by HMQ as he kneels on Centre Court a la Francis Chichester on Plymouth Hoe……….as the BBC goes into ecstasies of joy

      • 352
        Expat Geordie says:

        So what happens if that doesn’t happen?

        Sorry, forgot, an ENGLISHMAN won there yesterday (Jonathan MARRAY in the mens doubles). So even if Andy MURRAY wins today it doesn’t matter – he’s too bloody late. After waiting for 74 years he misses out by ONE BLOODY DAY!!!!

        It couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke.

        • 366
          Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

          Englishmen don’t count THEY just pay the bills and they’re not voting in the Scottish Independence Referendum anway…..

  68. 314
    Biased Bullshitting Corporation says:

    In our current affairs debate show (Sunday Morning Live) we think it right to have a anti-British Muslim youth leader sporting his propaganda and some Lezzer from the London feminist network on. We feel this is representative of the British public.

    • 376
      Brrrrrian "The Chill" Leveson says:

      I should be in charge of the BBC. Boy, would I show you the real meaning of Cool Britannia.

  69. 315
    Surely an oxymoron says:

    Balls and integrity.

  70. 321

    Come Guido get your fat hairy arse out of bed and post a new story for Sunday, this one is getting rather long in the tooth.

  71. 322

    I have started a smear campaign
    I started with my bedroom wall !

    • 357
      Bobby Sands says:

      Good man!

      • 363
        Expat Geordie says:

        Could you go a chicken supper, Bobby Sands?
        Could you go a chicken supper, Bobby Sands?
        Could you go a chicken supper?
        You bastard, fenian fúckér.
        Could you go a chicken supper, Bobby Sands?

        • 369

          Bobby Sands what a shite name

        • 370
          Mornington Crescent says:

          A Dirty Protester goes to see the Doctor. “Doctor,” he says, “you’ve got to help me – I’ve got the most terrible diarrhoea.” “Certainly, Sir,” replies the Doctor, “what would you like – a brush or a roller?”

  72. 323


    must stop pressing caplock !


    • 325
      Another Jobsworth says:

      Discussing over the top behaviour from PC Plod.

      • 344
        Police 'service' = utter cocks says:

        “we’d like to remind people not to enter the security bubble, this is for their own safety as well as the torchbearer’s”

        Yes, because pedestrians, joggers, cyclists and cars are normally kept apart using a “bubble”.

  73. 331
    Hahaha Guardian & Indy are the biggest losers says:

    National newspaper daily sales May 2012.
    Average sale and percentage change year on year.

    Daily Mirror : 1,080,544 ; -7.54
    Daily Record : 281,465 ; -9.65
    Daily Star : 606,641 ; -13.59
    The Sun : 2,611,838 ; -8.26
    Daily Express : 597,885 ; -5.34
    Daily Mail : 1,931,135 ; -6.11
    The Daily Telegraph : 575,132 ; -9.57
    Financial Times : 300,584 ; -17.12
    The Herald : 45,136 ; -10.51
    The Guardian : 214,703 ; -18.34
    The Independent : 93,983 ; -47.60
    The Scotsman : 35,927 ; -12.95
    The Times : 395,752 ; -11.40

    • 337
      annette curton says:

      Looks like a one way trip to oblivion for all but about three of those titles.

    • 341
      The fallout of employing Johann Hari says:

      It’s very gratifying to see the Indy tanking like that.

    • 355
      Expat Geordie says:

      Do the figures for the Sun include the Scottish version? The Record is just the Scottish version of the Mirror so perhaps they should be added together.

  74. 348
    Geneaologist says:

    Are Ball and Prescott related? They’re both yobs.

    • 371
      Charles Darwin says:

      Both are typical products of Liebour inbreeding. How such a species of parasite ever evolved remains a mystery to me.

      • 372
        Hacked off real tax payer.... says:

        Very surprising to know that fcuking bollo*k chops Balls even knows what the meaning of integrity is, considering what the behaviour of ZanuLieLabor was during its reign of terror for 13 long years. How long will it be before the lot of them including Bliar & Nutcase McDoom are brought before any court regarding there condoning of rendition flights let alone illegal wars. The lot of them should be put up against the wall & then let them have it, even that will be to good for some of them.
        That’s the only to start to get rid of this cancerous plague called ZanuLieLabour thats invaded every part of once democratic country. Otherwise they will return in the not to distant future but 10 times worse than last time & given how CMD,The One Term Tory Toff Liar, in his parallel universe, that seems more than likely will happen before 2015!!!!!

        Stop ConsLieLaborLibDems dead “VOTE UKIP………..”

        Its OUR country NOT there personal Fiefdom to Pillage & Subjugate the population to fit there Fundamentalist views of Democracy !!!!!

  75. 351
    United States of Europe says:

  76. 356
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish my illegitimate son success in today’s Wimbledon final.

    • 364

      He should win !
      We jocks are good at anything involving a “Racket”

  77. 373
    Southern Softy says:

    C’mon Rog – every true Englishman wants you to thrash the Sweatie

  78. 378
    yello fat says:

    It is definitely an excellent along with helpful piece of info. I’m content you distributed this beneficial info along with us. You should continue to be all of us up to date such as this. Thanks for revealing.

Media Reader

Guido Fawkes is Too Aggressive | The Times
Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP
Andrew Pierce v Owen Jones | MediaGuido
Michael Rosen’s Expert Opinions | MediaGuido
Metro Editor Leaves | Buzzfeed

Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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