July 6th, 2012

Coming Soon: An Awkward Miliband Reunion

David Miliband will guest edit next week’s New Statesman as the beleaguered lefty mag desperately attempts to bring about a turnaround to its drastic decline. Not only has the banana-eating former Foreign Secretary enlisted his old friend Tony Blair as a contributor, but the edition will feature an interview with none other than the defeated Labour leadership candidate’s brother, Ed. Awkward…

It isn’t all bad news over at NS towers however, as early projections suggest sales are on the up following Mehdi Hasan’s departure this week. Guido looks forward to watching HuffPo’s traffic plummet in the near future…


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    I will be interviewing Teddy

    • 8
      Gordon says:

      Where’s Sarah?

      • 18
        The Labour Cliterati - 50 Shites Of Red says:

        Sarah Steiff

        • 33
          the kraut beaver with the largest strap-on this side of the vatican says:


          • GMB stormtrooper says:

            Enjoy your time while you can counter-revolutionaries. We will sweep you out from all corners of the Liebor movement, including the Staggers.

          • A doctor says:

            Medhi-cally In-husan-e……

          • What's Left? says:

            Labouring Under a Misconception Production Inc joins with Jonah Corporation to produce the movie of the year!


            ” It’s really scary!” Daily Telepathetic

            ” A nightmare return for Princess Tony of Baghdad” The Staggers

            ” The Miliband brothers really scare the children in this fine chiller” Medically InHusane

    • 27
      Happy Bithday Mr Persident says:
      • 65
        you carrrrn't be serious..... says:

        stick to the nursing home tea party george…the last thing the republicans want on the stump is you.

        • 87
          Fawkbender says:

          I didn’t know Dubya was in a nursing home

        • 210
          Expat Geordie says:

          Vote Jeb Bush in 2012, and make Obama the mistake between the Bushes.

          You know it makes sense.

          • Tay King-dePisse says:

            By that definition, B!lly Jeff Clinton was such a mistake– George Herbert Walker Bush, Jan 1989- Jan 1993; BJ Clinton, Jan 1993- Jan 2001; George (no Herbert) Walker Bush, Jan 2001- Jan 2009.

            BTW Barack Obama stops off in a greasy spoon cafe for breakfast on a campaign swing through Ohio, and it’s all too much for the owner, an elderly woman, who keels over from a heart attack a few hours after he leaves, and croaks immediately thereafter. The Curse of Jonah, Stateside-style?

          • Expat Geordie says:

            I’m not 8ílly. For a start I’m not of the rear entry specialist persuasion. Having re-read my post it should have said 2016 for Jeb Bush. However I do believe that Clinton was such a mistake, as was Bush Jr for leaving the US finances in such a mess. And as for Barry, well, don’t get me started.

            I feel sorry for the Yanks. They haven’t had a decent leader since Bush Sr.

          • KANE and UNABLE says:

            i love harry bush

      • 349

        Isn’t he the American ex tennis player commentating at Wimbers?

      • 373
        KANE and UNABLE says:

        I hope Gordon didn’t send you that cake !

    • 32
      David Miliband says:
    • 56
      Anonymous says:

      What a pair of weird looking fuckers…

    • 84
      Gordon Brown says:

      Congratulations to Andy Murray. Winning the first two sets against Tsonga means he is home and dry

      • 104
        nellnewman says:

        No it doesn’t Tsonga’s just won the third. Come on Tsonga!

      • 236
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        Murray is one of those British sportsmen who is very good at what he does but is distinctly unpleasant – Nick Faldo, Nigel Mansell, Colin Montgomerie and John Terry are others.

        • 246
          Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

          Oh yeah and that tw*t Gavin Henson

        • 248
          Expat Geordie says:

          And that’s it in a nutshell. I don’t care what part of the UK Murray comes from (that’s the unionist in me talking). However being a not particularly pléasant piécé of work is costing him fans and respect. Seán Connery is still well liked in the UK, despite his declared support for the Scots Nats because of his public image (even though his private life has involved domestic violence)

        • 377
          KANE and UNABLE says:

          Not forgetting
          Alan Hanson ,
          Slur Alex Funguscum
          Kenny Dogleash ,
          Gordon Strapon

          What a coincidence ! they’re all Jocks

    • 144
      David Miliband says:
      • 166
        Ed Millibandwagon says:

        Find me a bandwagon and I’m first aboard.

      • 188
        erm... says:

        about time….
        the jubilee was a great success.
        wimbledon looks like it will be a success for us…. and the Olympics too.
        it’s easy to be happy. just have street parties!

      • 213
        Expat Geordie says:

        Didn’t one of the Lloyd brothers win the mixed doubles back in the 80′s?

    • 168
      Cunt watch says:
      • 272
        EdBallsMutteringIdiot says:

        Come on Feds!

      • 407
        Sweaty Sock says:

        Saltaire is a village near Bradford, though I suppose it may be high tonight. Did you mean to say Saltire – the cross of St Andrew?

    • 197
      Teddy says:

      No you won’t.

    • 209
      Hmmm says:
  2. 2
    The Libor Party says:

    B.liar. Says it all.

  3. 3
    Ha says:

    great pic

  4. 4
    Ha says:
    • 5
      Nick Clegg says:


      • 10
        Capt. Mainwaring says:

        Because the yellow bit is the piss in the buckets…… Stupid boy!

      • 217
        Expat Geordie says:

        And why is there a green bucket in the gents? Or is there something that we aren’t being told about Caroline Lucas?

  5. 6
    Brown Out and pay me damages. says:

    They can have an exclusive on Brown behind bars.

  6. 7
    Keir Starmer says:

    We (SFO) are going to prosecute in LIBOR as I previously blogged here some days ago.

    You’re either behind Guido or up with him !

  7. 9
    Spanish TV News says:

  8. 11

    David Miliband?

    Is he related to that weird Ed fellow?

  9. 11
    David Milibland says:

    Bliar, Brown, Balls and Libor. We are humped Part One exclusive..

  10. 15
    Sue Brown says:

    Bliar? Bad move. No credibility.

  11. 19
    Top Banana says:
    • 23
      Osborne says:

      I know you are so what am I?

    • 28
      KANE and UNABLE says:

      And just maybe , you should turn up in parliament once in a while and do the fucking job the taxpayer pays you to do
      you idle wanker !

    • 29
      Spangles says:

      Childish behaviour? Osborne must be copying his natural children. Who do you copy Milinana?

      I know it’s a nasty comment, but anyone who defends Balls deserves having his little ‘deficits’ aired.

      • 82
        Fertility clinic says:

        Milibanana (major) firing blanks do you mean? Well at least the world will be spared his gimpy sprogs.

        Sorry your spudgun is empty Bananaman!

    • 35
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Would that be like a certain Scottish Chancellor who sold the gold?

      • 71
        just saying says:

        Says a man who fell out with his little brother because he lost a competition.

      • 185
        blip says:

        According to Pascoe, at the Telegraph, Gordo saved the word by dumping all that gold on the market. Some big American bank had gone seriously short on gold, and an unexpected rise in its price took place: the international banking system would have collapsed if he hadn’t.

        • 229
          Expat Geordie says:

          I réad that as well. So we step in to save the Yanks and sell off our assets at bargain basement prices in the most incompetent manner possible. The bank should have been allowed to go under and the artificial credit boom that occurred afterwards might not have happened if the banks knew that we would not step in to save them.

          Just think, no false boom from 2003, a period of nice stéady growth and who knows, Gordon could have won the 2010 General Election.

          On that basis, thank GOd he sold it.

          Then again, it could all be a load of bóllocks.

    • 106
      nellnewman says:

      Let’s be quite honest bullyballs looked even mor childesh and to boot guilty. Why else was he blustering so loudly?!

      • 117
        Rat's arse says:

        Because nell, Ballsy thinks if he shouts and blusters, he will be believed by the windowlickers who vote Leiber, which, of course, he will!

    • 202
      JH says:

      …but blaming Thatcher for EVERYTHING circa 1979 – 2600 = normal, adult discourse I presume.


    • 383
      KANE and UNABLE says:

      Osborne isn’t the one who won’t turn up to do his job because his very unpopular brother whooped your arse in the leadershit contest
      like your insane ex leader who also can’t be bothered
      You really are bad losers in the Liebor party

  12. 25
    KANE and UNABLE says:

    How long is he going to carry on letting little squeaky Ed keep his seat warm
    before he takes control of Labour ?

  13. 26
    From the Bijou Office of Mehdi Hasan says:


  14. 30
    Give credit where it's due says:

    One occasion when a BBC news presenter did a good job.

    • 39
      from the global HQ the prime mincer says:

      careful I could be back some day…chin chin

    • 45
      Totty's dream says:

      Really? Mandelson was spinning a load of hogwash and was barely called on it.

      • 72
        from the global HQ the prime mincer says:

        thats my game but very quietly now….I’m just oligarched up to the hilt you could say

    • 100

      Let’s face it, he is just a slightly more sophisticated colostomy bag.

    • 184
      The Paragnostic says:

      OK, so Mangledbum got roasted by a TV presenter.

      That’s the transvestite sorted out, but who else was involved?

      • 193

        I wonder where you had been lurking…

        So is Mangledbum producer or predator because he certainly is not reproducer?

        Have you read Fabric of Reality yet? You were going to buy it for yourself for Christmas, I seem to remember.

        • 199
          The Paragnostic says:

          I did, and am now reading “The Beginning of Infinity”, which is quite good but is taking a while to digest, as I keep going on mental discursions when reading it.

          I never did see the point of strict Popperianism – although I’d hesitate to call it philosophy, Kuhn’s social view of science seems to have merit from my own experience in laboratory work. So I keep seeing the arguments from a different perspective which slows things down a bit ;-)

          • Great! You might have seen elsewhere in this page that I felt that his third strand on the basis that it could be used to prove anything you wanted it to. Did you get that sense from it? I admit that my reservations may be down to me or my attitude towards it.

            Popper’s philosophy in general suffered when communism fell. It was like Wittgenstein’s ladder, you could throw it away afterwards. Falsifiability, though, is surely his jewel in the crown for empiricism.

            Kuhn’s Objectivity, Value Judgment, and Theory Choice is excellent IMO.

          • Grеаt! Yоu mіght hаvе sееn еlsеwhеrе іn thіs pаgе thаt І fеlt thаt hіs thіrd strаnd оn thе bаsіs thаt іt cоuld bе usеd tо prоvе аnythіng yоu wаntеd іt tо. Dіd yоu gеt thаt sеnsе frоm іt? І аdmіt thаt my rеsеrvаtіоns mаy bе dоwn tо mе оr my аttіtudе tоwаrds іt.

            Pоppеr’s phіlоsоphy іn gеnеrаl suffеrеd whеn cоmmunіsm fеll. Іt wаs lіkе Wіttgеnstеіn’s lаddеr, yоu cоuld thrоw іt аwаy аftеrwаrds. Fаlsіfіаbіlіty, thоugh, іs surеly hіs jеwеl іn thе crоwn fоr еmpіrіcіsm.

            Kuhn’s Оbjеctіvіty, Vаluе Judgmеnt, аnd Thеоry Chоіcе іs еxcеllеnt ІMО.

          • The Paragnostic says:

            The trouble with quantum computability is that a lot of it is counterintuitive. I’m holding judgement on it until someone builds a working machine that can factor using Schor’s algorithm – that’s the day that privacy dies (or at least the expectation of privacy through normal encryption).

            Like you say – it has enough of the weird about it that it sometimes appears anything is possible (and provable, which is where it stinks to high heaven for me).

            It’s good to get older, and make time to think – makes me wish I’d done more when the old brain was quicker, though.

          • green ink says:

            and the body strength to match

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            >The trouble with quantum computability is that a lot of it is counterintuitive.

            Funny that, Lady M said just the same thing to me at teatime. She’s into all that malarkey, the structure of science, etc., while I must say I’m happier with the Beano and a peaceful tom tit.

          • I don’t mind the counterintuitive as it becomes intuitive upon further reflection. Einstein’s Special and General seemed counterintuitive to me at first when I read it in the 60s but, with developments in identifying phenomena such as light deflection, one now readily accepts that.

            I am interested that you seem to have similar reservations to mine. Of course, it is an astonishingly ambitious theory. I am prepared to believe that the fundamentals of all reality are extremely simple, one of his findings, but also that they rapidly break down into immense complexity. That where they become complex, it is often because we have a poor picture of reality being limited by our own rudimentary senses which condition our cognitive processes.

            We bamboozle ourselves with complexity sometimes. Certainly bankers do!

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            Aye, lad. Think on’t, as Cllr Duxbury might say.

          • Frailty, thy name is woman!

            I am sure that Lady M will be well chuffed with that, lad.

    • 367
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      You call that a going over? The beeboid basically sucked his cock live on air

  15. 40
    Gordon says:

    I did serious brain and it messed with my drugs

    • 42
      Chingrinner Memorial Committee says:

      stick to the rat poison gordon you know what you promised

  16. 41
    The BBC can Jog On says:

    A lot of Balls licking no doubt. Bliar? What a hoon.

  17. 47
    Chingrinner Memorial Committee says:

    labour still press on without the remotest whiff of recognition that they are a tumbled turn…. ed balls and ed miliband make a perfect couple… the new age muppets if only david will join them…tony a cameo role…new dreams under new spires…remember the patter.

  18. 48
    Mehdi says:

    The New Statesman has now lost the moral high ground.

    They broke any rule to fulfil any desire (i.e. to fire me). They are just cattle.

    Luckily my new docu-drama, Holy Warriors from the Blackstuff, is coming on well. The main character is called Yasser Hughes, who goes round asking the infidel to ‘Jizyas a job’.

    Don’t laugh. That’s how I got the job at the New Statesman.

  19. 49
  20. 50
    Ex-Tory says:

    I was surprised Guido made no mention of Tony Blair guest editing the Evening Standard last week. It had features on all his favourite causes. Yesterday, the ES gave Balls a whole page to defend Labour over Libor and attack the Tories. The Spectator is read by about 100,000 tops. 90% of whom are Tories. The ES is read by 1m London commuters and many are floating voters. What is the relationship with Sarah Sands and Liebour?

    • 63
      Sarah S. says:

      we’re practically one and the same – especially when we cuddle up – know wot I mean?

  21. 51
    Tony Bliar says:

    Oh Gosh*hand gesture* I will discuss the need for the whole of the UK to stay in Euro. Yeah, well, it is important*another hand gesture* it is important that I get my grubby mitts on as much dosh as I can and that I have influence in Europe. So it is *pause* it is important that the UK best serves my interest by staying in the Euro. *hand gesture*I have my eye on a top job in Euro*pause*so it is in the UK’s interest that I embark on the Euro gravy train. Thank you.

  22. 52
    nellnewman says:

    Well at least the Serious Fraud Squad will know where militwit is when they want to interview him over Libor- then all they’ve got to do is track down myners gordon, vadera and of course balls.

    Hope they’ve got their stories ready! Bet it’ll be I know nothing Officer, saw nothing, heard nothing, said nothing.

    • 55
      The Labour Cliterati - 50 Shites Of Red says:

      Plausible deniability

      • 74
        Labour...filth...just filth...rats on the burning deck routine ..heave-ho says:

        it wasn’t me gov but it was him and her and them …off the record of course nudge nudge wink wink

    • 57
      Quisling says:

      I wonder if Gordo takes his human shieldschildren to the police interview like he did for his farewell speech?

  23. 53
    David Miliband says:

    I am the New Dictator. The New Phoney Bliar.

    • 61
      Phoney Cameron says:

      Sorry – situation taken – by ME! I’m the Heir to Bliar!!!

    • 85

      Pity poor Gordon. Already just a footnote on the history page.

      ” Who’s the heir to me?

      I was the last PM before this nancy boy Dave.
      Don’t airbrush me out! I was BETTER THAN TONY! BETTER!! And I slept with loads more girls of the opposite sex than he did., And I spended more..more in one afternoon than he did ever..and I’m stronger than him. And I know all the words to Record Breakers..And I have a 1000′er conker that could split those botox rich, grinning lips and smash that Californian dentist’s, God white smile.


      Gordon Brown MP – Part time.
      Letter to the Guardian.
      On subject of banking deposits held overseas
      21 may 2012

      • 88
        Chingrinner Memorial Committee says:

        we couldn’t have quangoed it better ourselves..generously put we thought apart from the nancy boy cameron bit…we still rate him

      • 96

        The thought of Brown deposits held overseas fills me with misgivings.

        I shall have to tread even more carefully on my travels.

        (Ancient Chinese proverb: The longest journey starts with a simple splat.)

  24. 59
    Pooh Sticks says:

    Milibanana wants to be the next Tony Bliar. Hmmm? Ed should grow eyes on the back if he wants to dodge the cutlery.

    • 76

      Only one per century. The next one has to wait for people to forget.

      Tony Blair ——————-21st cy
      Adolf Hitler —————–20th cy
      Napoleon Bonaparte –19th cy
      Louis XIV ——————–18th cy
      Leopold I HR Emperor-17cy
      Philip II of Spain ——–16th cy
      Vlad the Impaler ——–15th cy

      And so on back in time…

  25. 64
    Gordon Brown Captain of the Starship Enterprise says:

    Captains Log …

    • 93
      Gordon Brown Tomorrow's Man says:

      rape and pillage yesterday…well slobbering and underwear sniffing anyway and today saving the world again….you can’t keep a good scotsman down.

  26. 66
    Fake Blood says:

    Fuck me but then it should come as no surprise that a torturer would book a war criminal as a contributor.

  27. 68
    Spitting Image: The Loony Left says:

  28. 73
    Gordon McDoom says:

    COME ON TIM !!

  29. 78
    Not a machine says:

    The return of the upward inflective perhaps ……….?
    Ms Kirsty Walk wasnt messing about on last nights NN interview with Ed the younger “have you spoken to Gordon Brown yet ?”
    Ed “I havent spoken to Gordon Brown in the last 24hrs ” I suppose his phone may not be operational .

    Higgs Boson
    You can look at the Maths of Higgs Boson and not really understand if you should be excited or not , as it is not really somthing so easy to explain as the nuclear structure theory model , of protons , neutrons and electrons.

    Perhaps the more interesting aspect is the question that led to the construction of the LHC to see if Prof Higgs theory did hold true .

    “If one assumes that all matter was created at the big bang or singularity, and at that moment of formation, energy expanded at or faster than the speed of light (from nothing), then why did most of it slow down and form atoms and mass of different energies ” . Why did it not just remain the energy formed at the big bang ??

    Prof Higgs thinking was that said big bang energy , must be interacting with somthing else to alter it and these must be everywhere but we cannot see it , although theoretical maths could tell you what it might look like in terms of energy .

    A great deal of scientific discovery , has been through using the spectrum of energy including visible light to see things , but this somthing which seems to allow all energy to pass through it , yet by its interaction produces the current physical laws as far as we understand them . Acting as a sort of law maker of physics .

    The interesting question is perhaps , if this Higgs Boson field or particals was somthing that the big bang , formed into (present before it) . The other interesting question is if it is uniform , or has variances that are new to understand .

    Anyhow for yer bed time coco , somthing that was written it is thought over 4000 yrs ago
    King James Translation of The Bible Genesis Chap 1 vs 1-4

    In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth .
    And the earth was without form , and void , and darkenss was upon the face of the deep .
    And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters .
    And God said let there be light, and there was light .
    And God saw the light was good , and God divided the light from the darkness.

    Not bad really ” was without form , and void , and darkness was upon the face of the deep ” I mean even in pre Big Bang theories they talk about fields of probability existing …….But then even if taken as abstract godless ramblings , those verses are pretty unusual with the recent scientific news , i wonder what the probebilty of Genesis actually reflecting the truth is in words from a lithic tecnological era …..:)

    • 92

      Oh! Come on!

      And then something magical happened…

      It is because we have such a poor view of the universe/multiverse that we find these things difficult to consider. We can logically envisage more dimensions, even by reference to known facts, even though we have no hope of ever directly accessing them.

      The Higgs boson appears to have a life of less than a millionth of a millionth of a millionth of a millionth of a second. However its ephemerality belies its incredible power.

    • 98
      I'll take hilary's boosom any day says:

      so this is the ‘stuff’ that fills the space between matter and it’s time difference factor is so insignificant given the scale of the universe it means what…we are merely perhaps just a slight step closer to knowing what unique circunstances led to the creation of this extraordinary coincidence of forces we live in.

      the young guy scientist with andrew neil last night said it was a milestone as it identified there was something there …a new land to explore…thanks for that..
      blank bits between things…explore…yes its an empty bit.

    • 108

      The Fabric Of Reality by David Deutsch. New York: The Penguin Press, 1997

      The book’s subtitle is The Science of Parallel Universes and Its Implications. Following an introductory chapter, in which the book’s goals are set forth, Deutsch begins his arguments with a truly magnificent description of the famous quantum light experiment, concluding that only a multiverse explanation can possibly fit the observed data. As the book progresses, he argues well that this particular explanation could be the cornerstone of an ultimate Theory of Everything (TOE).

      • 116
        Not a machine says:

        Multiverse is really somthing down to maths , if Higgs Boson is infinite . But then perhaps it may be lazy thinking that what we see at the quantum level is happening on a bigger scale in a cycle .

        Of course his theories may be wrong and it may a unique event , but cant think how to answer that one .

        • 125

          He builds his TOE on Hugh Everett’s version of quantum theory, epistemology (a la Popper), Alan Turing’s theory of computation as morphed into quantum theory of computation and Richard Dawkins’ refinement of Darwinian theory.

          A broad base with four main strands. I have some difficulty with the third on the basis that it could be used to prove anything you wanted, but that is probably just me. But I am sure he is onto something. He may end up with an unintended but ground breaking change which I am trying to grapple with before attempting to set a position out.

      • 118
        Gordon Brown says:

        I have just discovered a Higgs Bison, I picked a scab and it started to matter

  30. 79
    Dudley Zoo says:

    Is it true that Ed Ball was planning to sell QE to the masses with the use of myvouchercodes.co.uk

  31. 103
    Hilary's left tit says:

    does this mean I could get a nobel prize for doing fuck all if someone can get one for discovering fuck all ?

    • 119
      Barry's Poodle Dave says:

      Can I suckle at the teat? Good job its not the right tit

  32. 120
    nellnewman says:

    I do hope Tsonga’s going to win!

  33. 127
    Brilliant Tennis says:

    Murray through to the final.

  34. 128
    Gordon Brown says:

    I willed Murray to victory.

  35. 130
    Say yes to the UK say no to the EUSSR says:

    Jgm2, Paragnostic, Smoggie, Moniker, Nell and all the other Inglish separatists on here, your bigotry took a hell of a beating , Come on Andy Murray !!!!!

    • 136

      One man’s bigot is another man’s freedom fighter.

      You are free to support whomsoever you please. So are we.

      Saying no to the UK does not entail saying yes to the EU.

      • 140
        Anonymous says:

        Moniker just out of interest which party will you be voting for as none of the main parties nor by definition UKIP support your view on the UK. Please enlighten us.

        • 143
          Alex Salmonella says:


        • 187

          Good question, Anonymong.

          I have been saying for over a decade now that there should be a None of them box. If that were to happen, I would put my cross in there.

          Seriously, at the height of the NewLab nightmare, I think our purposes would have been served better if there had been no Government or Executive at all.

          After all the rules of the LTA stay pretty much the same, year by year, but we still enjoy the tennis and eat the strawberries…

    • 138
      Quisling says:

      Scotland through to the finals. Better luck next time England

    • 189
      The Paragnostic says:

      I shall remain silent since no Welshman has ever got through to a Wimbledon final.

      I did grow up in Fred Perry’s old town, though.

    • 256
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      >Inglish separatists

      You misunderstand, my little porridge-gargler. We do not wish to separate from anything, we just wish to be rid of the expense of Scotchland‘s hordes of worthless layabouts.

  36. 132
    Gordon Brown says:

    Cogratulations to Aubray Murray for inventing the Higgs Boatswain

  37. 133
    Gordon Brown says:

    I congratulate Andy Murray on reaching the Wimbledon Final. I wish him great success.

    • 135
      Say yes to the UK say no to the EUSSR says:

      The desperation of the inglish separists on here is laughable. Get over it Murray got to the Final and you are really pissed off ha ha ha ha ha ha !

      • 148
        Dudley Zoo says:

        I may have a bit more respect if i didn’t have to subsidise you

        Andy has done good, so fuck off you mong

        • 165
          Kipper says:

          Mong-Murry won’t win, the Scotchlanders never win anything… ever.

          • When you hate someone simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

            Get over it , Murray got into the final, go and have a lie down

        • 173
          When you hate someone simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

          Scotland more than pays its way, for example the Billions of pounds which will in time be generated as a direct consequence of the discovery of the Higgs Boson ( as a precident see what happened after the discovery of the electron) will more than compensate the tax payers of the UK for investing in Edinburgh University andthat just one example.

          You lot know the price of everything but the value of nothing. However such ignorance comes as no surprise as its the hallmark of someone with the thought processes of a racist bigot

          • Dudley Zoo says:

            English money paid to get the oil out of the ground

            the Scotch couldn’t afford a bucket and spade

          • When you hate somebody simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

            English investment in Scotland did indeed reap dividends for both parties, thats my point. Are you thick or what ?

          • The Paragnostic says:

            Higgs did his main work on the theory in London, before he exiled himself to the intellectual wasteland of Edinburgh.

            Some folk just like the wilderness!

          • Let us not forget that General Wade built all the roads. Without those they would all still be rowing about in coracles.

          • Dudley Zoo says:

            Gordon Brown trumps any claim Scotland has on anything

            link of human shit Brown has damaged he UK for 500 years

          • It's not his fault, he's from Wales says:

            Paragnostic: Fuck me I knew you were desperate but that last post of yours was fucking off the scale !

          • The Paragnostic says:

            I know, and I was outdone in the “poke the chippy Jock” game by CRMM too.

            General Wade, indeed!

          • Lord, grant that Marshal Wade
            May, by thy mighty aid,
            Victory bring.
            May he sedition hush
            And, like a torrent, rush
            Rebellious Scots to crush.
            God save the King.

          • Guido staff watch says:

            “Rebelious” Scots being of course the Catholic Jacobite variety of which Guido Faulkes and his merry band belong and the vast majority of Scots dont belong to. Monica did you actually ever read history or just say what your master Guido the Jesuit tells you ?

          • Guido staff watch says:

            Actually wade built his Roads based on maps made by General Roy who was from Scotland and wass the father of the ordanance survey maps, but then again I dont expect thick as pig shit racist fucktards to know this

          • Monica did you actually ever read history or just say what your master Guido the Jesuit tells you

            I have some two dozen books on Scottish history alone with the Edinburgh History of Scotland in four volumes. I happen to have on my desk (by the Adriatic) right now The Early Christian Monuments of Scotland in two volumes by Allen and Anderson and I have used it to visit several thousand sites including all the abbeys at one end of the spectrum to the remotest cup and ring marks at the other. I have travelled along every inch of those roads and visited many of the original bridges, now bypassed. All the inhabited islands of Scotland I have visited. Whatever you are likely to have done on this, I have done more.

            You are totally outgunned and outclassed.

          • Guido staff watch says:

            And to think you have learned nothing from all your travels and wonderful library what a waste.

          • Maybe.

            If so, where does that leave you?

  38. 134
    The Conservatives and the foaming at the mouth party. says:

    Murray humped Tsonga. Yah Beauty!

  39. 139
    Alex Salmonella says:


    I’m so happy I’m going to drive South and shag some livestock

  40. 141
    Alex Salmonella says:

    I’m so happy I’m going to drive south and s.h.a.g some live_stock

  41. 142
    Alex Salmonella says:

    fucking modbot

  42. 147
    Bob Diamond says:

    Tsonga was probably given a huge bung to throw the game so that Murray mania can deflect the news away from the banks.

    That’s just a our no jerk rule in practice!

  43. 149
    The Conservatives and the foaming at the mouth party. says:

    @Say yes to UK….The bigots think by getting rid of Scotland they can have a majority win for the Conservatives. The bigots are desperate as well as dumb.

  44. 152
    Gordon Brown says:

    Allahu Akbar!

  45. 153
    The Conservatives and the foaming at the mouth party. says:

    Plus the bigots think they are subsidising the Scots. It’s the other way around. Even Thatcher graciously admitted that Scot’s oil balanced the books.

  46. 158
    Gordon Brown says:

    We’re all Scottish now!

    • 164
      Kipper says:

      Fuck Scotchlands Mong-Murry, I’ll be cheering Federer on at the final.

      • 170
        When you hate someone simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

        Of course you will as I wouldnt expect anything else from someones thought processes are indistinguishable from a Racist.

        • 172
          Who's the racist? says:

          A few years ago Andy Murray said “Anyone but England ” when referring to a forthcoming match.

          • When you hate someone simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

            Any fair minded person could see Andy Murray was having a joke which was in response to a journalist winding him up about the Scottish football teams dismal performance whereas most of the offensive comments on here are clearly not intended as a joke but reflect deep seated racism and bigotry amongst many who visit this site. That is beyond doubt.

          • Natanality and Race are not the same thing says:

            Please remember one persons joke is another persons wacism.

          • When you hate somebody simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

            No but the thought processes are the same the rest is just Semantics.

          • northern git says:

            scots… I love your porridge..the rest…you’re welcome

          • Guido staff watch says:

            Nothern git, just because you have a tiny dick doesnt mean your posts should be shite, man up man you can do it!

          • normal sized northern git says:

            thats not very kind my licky sticky is about the same as the midgets next door…I could be offended but I won’t as thers no point taking candy off a spazza

        • 179
          Diane Fatbut says:


          • smack me bitch crew says:

            and you can shut it blubbergusset

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Wasn’t Blubber The Gut a Star Wars character? Although bearing in mind that she is a Labour MP, perhaps that should be a START WARS character.

  47. 160
    The Conservatives and the foaming at the mouth party. says:

    The Libor Party are not big in Scotland. Soon to be like Rangers. Third division football with their membership in decline. Happy days.

  48. 162
    The Conservatives and the foaming at the mouth party. says:

    @AA. Fuck and bore someone else with your tripe.

  49. 163
    The Conservatives and the foaming at the mouth party. says:

    @AS. Drivel.

  50. 169
    Yawn says:

    Ask nurse to increase your meds.

  51. 175
    We interupt this programme says:

    OT I know but I thought it worth a mention that Eastenders current storyline is a new take on the “who shot JR ? ” Senario namely ” who shagged Kat Slater ? “

  52. 176
    An English Rioter says:

    Who said recently that you can’t do business in England?

  53. 178
    Eastenders is tripe says:

    All the bigots are away sulking. Ha ha ha.

  54. 183
    a non says:

    Just hearing Murray has made it through to the finals.
    Well done Ruby. Sing your heart out and win it for the UK.

    • 195
      A Proud Bigot says:

      Just hearing Federer has made it through to the finals.
      Well done! Sing your heart out and win it for England.

      • 200
        The Paragnostic says:

        I’ve always admired the Swiss.

        Cuckoo clocks, banking and assertive neutrality, plus lots of lovely hills.

        Come on Roger!

      • 205
        JH says:

        I am alarmed to read that Murray has beat Federer more often than vice versa.

        Come on Rog. If the Jockanese win this, they are going to be fucking unbearable.

        Maybe in Andy wins this, he should contribute the winnings to paying off the debt after Darien scheme II, circa 1997-2010?

        Jus’ sayin.

        • 237
          When you hate somebody simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

          JH you are jgm2 and a host of others and I claim my £5

  55. 204
    nellnewman says:

    militwit just tweeted that murray has brought ’74 years of hurt’ in the UK to an end.

    What?! What an Idiot! And I don’t use the word very often.

    Folks interested in Wimbledon haven’t suffered 74 years of hurt. They’ve experienced year on year fantastic entertainment and a game based on fairplay, hardwork, excellence & competing to be best. Nastase, McEnroe, Laver, Connors, Navratilova, OMG I could go on.

    But then I suppose a depressing marxist minded mp like him doesn’t understand the principles of excellence, fairplay, hard work and competition.

    Oh wait a minute as dear old bullyballs said all our children must be equal competition is bad.

    • 235
      When you hate somebody simply because of their nationality what do we call it ? says:

      Nell: get over it luv.

    • 369
      Fog says:

      The British media are having their usual hysteria-fest. Tennis fans want to watch and he ar about their favourite players, regardless of nationality. I want to watch players like Nadal and Federer, not only superb at tennis, but personable, charming and good role-models. I don’t care where they’re from. I want Federer to win the final because I think he’s a great sportsman and consistently good player. Murray is playing well at the moment. I’m not indifferent to him because he’s a Scot but because he’s morose and uncommunicative. He’s 25 so should have outgrown the surly teenage phase.

  56. 208
    Jimmy says:

    Any chance of him guest running the country for a bit?

  57. 215
    An English rioter says:

    Omg. If the Scot wins the English will be miserable all Summer. Come on Andy hump Woger. :)

  58. 219
    Ah! Monika says:

    Dwelling on the discourse above…
    I have come to the conclusion that the idea of one off Big Bang is a no-braner.

  59. 223
    Engineer says:

    Men’s Wimbledon tennis;


    Women’s Wimbledon tennis;

    Bink grunt bonk grunt bink grunt bonk grunt etc.

  60. 227
    Sarh Twat the Tweeting Twiitter says:

    I’m so for the Pride Walk – I think all of us who have normal sex like what Gordon and me do – should

  61. 231
    Ah! Monika says:

    Disappointed. I thought my “no-braner” comment might have got at least one +.

  62. 245
    The Paragnostic says:

    Is Militwat going to have a “Torture Chamber of the Week” column, featuring his favourite rendition destinations?

  63. 255
    Fuck the bbc says:

    Owen jones on newsnight – a fucking joke

    • 264
      Well it's a thought says:

      He’s must be embarrassment to the Libor party, he knows everything about nothing.

      • 274
        Are all The Inglish like this ? says:

        Dont Know about that but he’s a ucking embarassment to Ingland thats for sure.

    • 269
      Owned Jones says:

      • 350
        Expat Geordie says:

        Doesn’t understand the difference between income and “worth”. Same sort of person who doesn’t understand the difference between deficit and debt. Says it all about Labour.

  64. 260
    Gordon Brown says:

    i have constipation induced sciatica after plundering the larder

  65. 263
    him in the pub... says:

    have you finished the ironing yet ?

  66. 270
    Indy says:

    You may well laugh at Owen Jones’ historical and political ignorance but he has been extremely successful in our campaign to recriut a pre-school readership.

    • 278
      Well it's a thought says:

      Good job he’s on after the 9:00pm watershed, he might miss them if he was on before 7:00pm

  67. 282
    John says:

    Usually I read and participate over at the comment is free on the Guardian and another regular poster there told me to take a look at this Guido Fawkes blog because in his words – “you won’t believe your eyes”. Well he was certainly right!

    This blog is riddled with racism and homophobia from a bunch of old bigots who seem to thing nothing of posting any word under the sun. It is truly discussing that this sort of behaviour still exists in the UK in 2012. Normally I wouldn’t post on such a cesspit as this but I thought better of myself and decided to tell you what the vast majority of public think of your views. I shall be reporting this blog to the relative authorizes.

    John in Warwickshire

    • 294
      mood moderator says:

      bugger off john and stick to reviewing the turnip cruncher’s gazette

      • 300
        nellnewman says:

        turnips are valuable vegetables and should not be left to marxist/leftist trollers to review.

        Such people are well known for their obsession with precooked frozen foods from tesco freezers which is where they think they originate. (Product of 13 years labour brainwashing education!)

        They don’t understand that vegetables are grown in fields!

        • 305
          john west says:

          he helps out when they’re busy by blogging on the guardian…stop it nellie you’re awful

      • 301
        Ah! Monika says:

        & where will you post your comments when the G goes tits up?
        & 2 Check the readership of both G and O-O. Your comments will reach a wider and better informed audience on here.
        Now back to discussing the collision of multiple branes ( sic )

    • 303
      Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

      “who seem to thing [sic] nothing of posting any word under the sun.”

      So freedom of speech is verboten in your New World Order, eh, fucktard?

      “It is truly discussing”

      “what the vast majority of public think”

      “to the relative authorizes.”

      Dear John: like all of Labour’s supporters, you’re retarded.

      • 327
        It's a lot worse than that says:

        - it’s a congenital disease, characterised by grasping thieving arrogant controlling petty-minded moral-compass-losing lying two-tongued cheating fuckers

      • 329
        The LieBore Clitorati says:

        You leave our JohnJohn alone you brutes! He’s an effeminate little twerp who does jobs for us.

      • 330
        Tay King-dePisse, on the night shift, says:

        Of course, it could always be that “John in Warwickshire’s” post is a piss-take, and we’ve been successfully trolled, right? Stranger things have happened. I mean, the malapropisms are just a bit precious and straight outta Mrs Slocombe. With my moniker, I have a bit more than just a passing interest in trying to work out who’s legit and who’s shamming. Take it from me, this lad John is a bit pat for my taste; think about it, hasn’t there always been a John-clone posting every week or so with that “I usually don’t lower myself” blah? This fellow seems to have got the spiel down to a fine science, touching all the bases: ra*ci*st, hom*opho*bic, obscene, un-British and needful of a reporting to [corrected] the relevant authorities. He then proceeds to undercut his own argument by stupid use of the language. Needless to say, this gets us all worked up to work him over, metaphorically-sp*eaking. Either this is a real Leftie who is giving away the argument a bit, merely to show how rabid we on Order-order.com can get, in order to make his point to his fellow posters that indeed we are a “lynch mob”; or it’s Neo or some other right-wing blogger at the pub, losing/winning a bet, and as a result saying, “I bet I can write the most boring cliched ‘shocked, SHOCKED!’ parody of a leftie poster! Watch me stir up the posters on ‘Guido’!”

        And then there’s always the possibility that John in Warwickshire is exactly what he purports to be, and that I’m wrong, and there really are such humourless wretches in the Grauniad sphere of influence. I wouldn’t even put it past it being some Yank who didn’t like that post the other day that accused one of the other posters of being American, in virtue of the fact that satire seemed to fly over his head; and, as we all know, Septics are too earnest to understand such subtleties. (There’s been a few Britons about whom that could be said, if we’re being honest.) If it IS some Yank, let’s give him a hand– he pulled it off! He got us good and proper! Like I said, stranger things have happened!

        J. in W., whoever you are, I hope you’re properly grateful for all the attention you have received.

    • 312
      new dawn heavy rain says:

      Hi TwAT still no blog.

    • 314
      Edward the Longshanks says:

      Yes its truly dicussing that you read the Grauniad.

    • 317
      Well it's a thought says:

      You wrote this rubbish a few months ago, why don’t you inform the “relative authorizes”, I am sure they will take your threats seriously.

    • 318

      @John in Warwickshire

      Just in case you are too thick to have got it yet (after all, you do post at CiF) let me tell you this:

      Fuck off and report whatever you like to the relative authorizes. Now mind your arse on the way out, there’s a good chap.

    • 320
      not a machine says:

      I feel the same about posting on the Guardian

    • 328
      @John says:

      Go fuck yourself

  68. 290
    Gordon Brown says:

    Come on Andy. Where the F@@k is Sarah?

  69. 292
    Ah! Monika says:

    Stick around John. There’s wheat and chaff. And name another blog which truly offers free speech.

  70. 308
    Ah! Monika says:

    You’re up late tonight nell. Nitety nite.

  71. 309
    Nell was born in a turnip field says:

    What a lot tripe on here t’nite. Is it a full moon?

    • 311
      night grandma says:

      no a higgs boson night…lots of nothing between huge chunks of crap…we caught it off gordon earlier

  72. 313
    Nell was born in a turnip field says:

    Is Tripe in here t’nite. T’is a shame. Must be a full moon, surely.

  73. 316
    not a machine says:

    Owen Jones “it was Margret Thatcher ” “Tony Blair just adopted the Thatcher consensus” ergo Ed must be consensus before Thatcher , mmm not so sure you want to go back there Owen .However luckily I realised Owen Jones disengenous hand played . In !997 Gordon Brown and Tony Blair were handed one of the best set of public accounts in 100 yrs , in 2010 Gordon Brown handed over the worst set of public accounts , since money and banking were invented . So Owen Jones has to admit that Labour utterly trashed the Thatcher consensus , without having an explantion as to what theory/consenus replaced it or having to say if it was success, mmm nice try .

    Still only a lad , plenty of time for him to consider why so many died under communism rather than bad boy christian/capitalism ………. or for that matter why so many ordinary people ended up losing money under labour .He only has to name one communist country that isnt a police state and hes won the argument …… :)

    • 319
      Well it's a thought says:

      If he fell out of bed, he would blame Thatcher for pushing him, the child knows no better.

      • 321
        not a machine says:

        Its that heady mix of Dr Martin and politbeaureu perfection , that so many of us who have seen it before , have an aversion too that he doesnt understand

  74. 322
    Alice in Wonderland says:

    I think Libor is going to produce a few red faces. No doubt the treasury influenced Libor manipulators for political and economic gain. Curious that Osborne pointed the finger at Balls. Must have seen evidence or heard about Balls being up to no good. Curiouser and Curiouser.

  75. 323
  76. 324
    Brown out and pay me damages says:

    @notamachine. Jones and his nonsense fits in with the BBC bias. I am certain he does not believe what he farts out of his backside but he knows the BBC can’t get enough of it. We are expected to pay for that nonsense.

  77. 326
    The Arsehole who couldn’t achieve a decisive victory over the Knucklehead who ruined Britain says:

    That makes me sound like an idiot!

  78. 334
    I Wish says:

    I am a man of conviction with an unshakeable sense of purpose and unsurpassed strength of character. My colleagues set it up for me to depose Gordon and I did not let them down. I saved the country from the lunatic Brown. I saved the Labour party. Like the colossus I am, I strode to centre stage and cast the madman out. I seized the moment and effortlessly led the party to its greatest ever general election victory against all the odds. And I put my nasty little brother back in his place.

  79. 337
    Ed 'Go' Balls says:

    Re the MSM :
    “If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. The lie can be maintained only for such time as the State can shield the people from the political, economic and/or military consequences of the lie. It thus becomes vitally important for the State to use all of its powers to repress dissent, for the truth is the mortal enemy of the lie, and thus by extension, the truth is the greatest enemy of the State.”
    Joseph Goebbels

    I built my political career using uncle Jo’s philosophy.
    The TV and newspapers say what the government tells them to say and will continue to do so as long as the LibLabCon alliance clings onto power.

  80. 339
    • 342
      Confused says:

      An interesting article – but why didn’t Goldman Sachs go to the US government? They’ve got quite a bit of gold lying around in Fort Knox.

      • 343
        Fyfe Robertson says:

        There hasn’t been a proper audit at Fort Knox since 1953, only a pretend one in 1974. How can anyone seriously believe there’s any gold still in the place when the authorities refuse to allow an audit ?

        • 357
          It's only fake says:

          Ask Goldfinger

        • 365
          Shush Up you lot says:

          Now now! Such cynicism! There must be simply tons (tonnes?) of the stuff there – which explains why all the guards are actually unarmed. Smoke and mirrors. But please don’t tell the Chinese as they might get a bit worried about all their US investments.

    • 344
      Well it's a thought says:

      So Brown is right, he saved the world, in his mind only.

  81. 352
    Lou Scannon says:

    Guido, there’s something (another site) preventing this reloading in Chrome.
    Seems to work OK in IE though.

  82. 356

    Do David Miliband’s tweets have Sent using my Banana printed after them?

  83. 361
    m'Lard Prizclot of Pies, Patsys, Piffle and Pickles says:

    FFS – I’ve done me second breakfast – and there’s still no new thread! Phwoooaarrr!! look at that walking past!!!! oi !! Mrs!!!

    • 378
      m'Lard Prizclot of Pies, Patsys, Piffle and Pickles says:

      an’ while we is waiting, some bird in the clinic yesday said johyn u gotta lose wayt or yorl di – an’ i sed – i donwanna di elfy missus!!! – ha ha hah hah hah hah ha!

      • 381
        Anyonmous says:

        Is dubious patois allowed on here?

        • 387
          The Public Sector is full of Cocks says:

          John Presclott doesn’t mind dubious patois, so long as it’s not too dubious, i.e. it’s not turned green. Duck liver patois is his favourite.

    • 385
      you could make it up says:

      yeah – where’s the weekly tractor stats post?

  84. 376
    Ah! Monika says:

    SPENDING on the NHS has risen by £3.4billion in real terms in a year.

    Too far too fast.

    • 380
      jus passin says:

      A large proportion of that spending is because we’re depressed (re CoMoron’s ‘Happiness’ stats – and need lots of TLC, anti-D’s, time off work (especially for the more sensitive intellectual ‘progressive’ types in high-paying public sector non-jobs) bless them).

      Other spending is on ‘consultants’ (no, not real doctors, – charlatans who advise ‘management’), stupid ‘initiatives’, PC lectures, and obesity.

      Possible Solutions:

      1. sack all non-productive staff
      2. feed the fat fuckers til they cease to exist
      3. cut the touchy-feely disease crap + all the ‘care’ for teenage sluts wiv kid 1 / 2 /3 / …


      • 382
        The Public Sector is full of Cocks says:


        I love “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder”, as in “your child has ADHD – I’m a very expensive ‘consultant’ who deals with this ‘challenging issue’ and ‘moving forwards’ I can prescribe a treatment programme involving medication and ‘group therapy experiences’.”

        In my day, it was, “Your kid’s being a disruptive little bastard so we’ve caned him. If doesn’t stop being a little shit, we’ll cane him again, twice as hard.” And it generally worked.

        • 391
          MAD SPANKIE HADDOCK son of COD! says:

          You could buy a good bamboo cane for 3d in my day. Think how much that would save the social services in a year. Let’s say one cane could service 10 scrotes for 10 years, and extrapolate from there.

  85. 384
    Tim says:
    • 392
      Quisling says:

      Dear Mr Fenton

      Go and research Doubleclick like a proper grown up journalist. Oh and then print a retraction will you.

      As I know you wont bother doing any proper research I’ll save you the bother.


      • 405
        Expat Geordie says:

        Then why the hell am I getting ads for the Russian Embassy? My only interest in Russians was that I might have had to go to war against them 20 years ago.

    • 395
      Zoro says:

      I Like to let of some steam on underpants bryant, not because he is homosexual but because he is a nasty shouty mouthed little Hunt, who would happily see this country and the folk he cares nothing for go to the dogs and suffer under his buddies reign of terror all for his own selfish screw-faced self satisfaction. Then when he looses the power to bring about his nasty little utopian nightmare scream and smear anything or anyone who tries to undo some of the wrongs that he was a party to.

      Oh, and did I mention his screamy nasty voice? I did, oh well.

      • 396
        LibDem Solutions says:

        The narcissistic little prick still hasn’t got over the fact that he made a wrong call by supporting Brown. We’re all having to suffer now because of his repressed self loathing.

    • 398
      Nom Dom Nom says:

      Surely Laurel & Hardy are Watson and Bryant? The dimensions fit better.

  86. 386

    I would just like to wish Andy Murray all the best tomorrow at Silverstone !

  87. 389
    SNOW WHITE says:

    OK Limp dicks Wheres my Saturday 7 Up ?

    • 394
      LibDem Solutions says:

      If your particular perversion upsets you, we will employ experts at great expense to prescribe the necessary drugs so you don’t feel so bad.

  88. 390
    Shower of Nobs says:

    Damian McBride: You stupid, bigoted one-eyed madman!

    Gordon Brown: I WILL DO MY UTMOST!

  89. 393
    Theresa May says:

    Come on Andy for tonight !!!

  90. 404
    welcome john to the fold ... says:

    no new thread today ? I’ll go back to kip then

  91. 408
    Saffron says:

    Hope the Murray spoilt brat loses tomorrow,him being an english hater.
    More to the point I watched today Brown Broadcasting Corporation off and on about what is hapenning around the world,I might as well have being watching Tom and Jerry.
    This outfit is so biased against the government that it is unbelievable,just when is Cammoron going to grow a pair and stop this crowd of turncoats dead in it’s tracks,in that they do not represent the views of this nation.
    In the BBC it is obvious that they are not even handed and why considering we are funding them,why oh why is the government allowing them to act in this way.

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Cathy Jamieson MP, Labour’s Shadow Treasury minister, commenting on Treasury analysis of the economic impact of tax changes…

“If the Treasury is looking at the economic impact of tax changes, then surely it should examine the impact of the rise in VAT and cuts to tax credits? George Osborne’s £12 billion VAT rise knocked confidence, helped to choke off the recovery and has cost families £1,350 over the last three years.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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