July 5th, 2012

Climate Change “Will Turn African Savannah Into Forest

A new study published in peer reviewed Nature Magazine, by a German university research team reveals that large swathes of Africa’s savannahs will become forests by the end of the century. Apparently atmospheric shifts and changes to the continent’s climate will see tree cover increase as critical levels of carbon dioxide are reached. Not only will this result in Africa becoming immersed in thousands of acres of beautiful oxygen-replenishing forests, the scientists believe the change will be gradual, meaning that there is no dangerous shock to the earth’s system. Dr Steve Higgins of Goethe University described the findings as “reassuring”. Carbon emissions are not all about melting icecaps…

393 Comments

  1. 1
    I said it says:

    Climate change is bollocks!

    Like

    • 4
      John D Monkey says:

      On that basis life is bollocks because the climate is changing all the time.

      Like

      • 19
        Stavros says:

        we need a judicial enquiry into this issue – nothing less will establish what global warming means forour grandchildren and at the same time explore thoroughly the problems within the banking sector

        Like

        • 35
          Anonymous says:

          UKIP or Labour? It’s your choice.

          Roger Helmer and Richard Howitt – Compare and contrast New Labour and UKIP on the Rio Summit:

          Like

          • Mornington Crescent says:

            Quite apart from the bollox he was talking, what a slob that Howitt is.

            Anyway, you got my vote today in our local BC by-election.

            Like

          • My Real Name says:

            I remember Howitt from his time as a Harlow councillor – he was an obsequious, jargon and procedure-based sweaty greasy pole climber then, and he’s clearly found his niche as an MEP.

            Like

          • Edward. says:

            Kinnel!!
            Howitt – what a tosser he is, slimy slug-like gastropod mollusc much like Ed and Ed – same genus sub specie.

            Global warming and the chimera of man made global warming, miraculously as the science now has been completely defenestrated did shape shift to sustainability but remains the same bullshit.
            God, and still the monster lives but only in the EU and more particularly in the colleagues of the commission ‘minds’ in Goldman Sachs/Deutsche Bank and of course in the EU’s only true lickspittle Ra Ra cheerleaders in the claque of Trots and commies of; Red Tory, Lib dhimmi and Bolshies in Labour at Westminster.

            Why is it, that Dave, Clagnuts and Miliband Wallace – still cling on to this BS AGW nonsense? When, the rest of the world waved it goodbye years ago but then Barry O’barmy is still a big fan and therein lies the rub. Along with the EU, the UN and such luminaries as Soros et al – it’s really about redistribution of wealth to the ‘South’.
            Is it not time, that we ‘shot’ the eco-mentals do-gooders, left Europe to stew in it’s own decaying pathogens and joined up with the real world? With independence and a pragmatic government beholden only to the electorate ie us – back in charge, we’d be so much [100%] better off.

            Get stuffed Dave and Clagnut, take your left wing buggery and with Ed and Ed move over to Europe – plus; take the alarmist RS and the beeb with you – Belgium, a perfect place to resettle.

            Like

          • Roger Helmet MEP says:

            Has anyone noticed how much the temperature has dropped just in the last 12 hours? So much for global warming!

            Like

          • Useless Eustace (remember me?) says:

            Aha! Back to 1975 – a new ice age approacheth.

            Like

      • 34
        Sniper says:

        True. It is CAGW that is bollocks!

        Like

      • 126
        Blair Rich Project says:

        £100,000 in used bank notes and I’ll appear on a platform with at least one brutal dictator to give a 1hr speech about how we can move forward to modernise on this issue, helping further integrate the electorate into the global world international economy.

        Like

      • 163
        Nothing better to do says:

        I wish it would change to warmer here.

        Like

      • 343
        plato says:

        A man with a shaky mortgage will do anything and say anything to keep the wolf from his door.

        Expect more balderdash like this, now that our belief systems are “up for grabs”

        Like

    • 9
      joseph fritzl says:

      its well known that the sahara was lush 5-10 thousand years ago. its also known that the world has been gradually cooling since 10,000 years and it is slowly warming now. if that carries on you would expect the sahara to be forested again. this isn’t news.

      Like

      • 73
        On the fence with MMGWam says:

        Certainly parts of the world will benefit from global warming and even climate change if it happens gradually (sadly nature does not do gradual – change jumps forwards and backwards at highly irregular intervals). On the other hand those parts that live a few metres above sea level, including parts of London, New York and indeed most of the world’s biggest cities will not do so well, apart from local boat owners and carpet sellers perhaps. For admit or not the climate is changing. Sure we have had many such changes before but these were caused by known natural factors such as sun-spots (or lack of) or mega volcanic eruptions or irregular changes in the jet stream or ocean currents. None of those causes remotely apply to what has been happening of late. Is it this time man-made and caused by the well-documented global rise in CO2 or something else? Well surely an easy way to tell if a rise in CO2 can cause temperatures to rise as well can be done with a simple experiment. Get a big glass tube and fit it with a thermometer. Apply a constant heat source and wait until it reaches a stable temperature. Then add CO2 to the tube very slowly and see if the temperature rises. What could be simpler than that?

        Like

        • 97
          Peter Carter-Fuck says:

          If we lived in a big glass tube your comments might make some sense, but we don’t and you’re wrong.

          Like

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            Speak for yourself, Peter, I find the big glass tube that is Maison Martin most commodious.

            Like

        • 101
          WVM says:

          Apparently they tried that but it didn’t give the results they were looking for so the EU told them to try again.

          Like

        • 123
          Archer Karcher says:

          Your contention that more CO2= higher and higher temperatures, are not borne out by one rather sticky problem.

          The theory, does not match the facts and no amount of cod fearmongering can transform the patently fictitious theory that more CO2 = significantly higher temperatures or lasting warming, into fact.

          There has been significantly more CO2 and less CO2 in the earths atmosphere many times in the past, at no stage did they ever cause the disasters the climate religionist’ claim face us today or in the future.

          Like

          • Make your own mind up. You are obviously much cleverer than scientists. says:

            Mythbusters do global warming.

            Like

          • Tay King-dePisse says:

            On the other hand, Mythbusters is the show that gave us THIS deathless phrase:

            Like

        • 187
          Another Engineer says:

          Sorry, your simple experiment is highly flawed, in fact, I’d go so far as to call it bollocks. Misleading bollocks.

          The specific heat of air is 1.02kJ/kgK
          The specific heat of CO2 is 0.84kJ/kgK

          For the same energy input, the CO2 will obviously be hotter.

          The glass not being transparent to long wave IR will prevent the radiation effect you are trying to demonstrate, too.

          If you want to demonstrate the thermodynamics, do it properly.

          Like

        • 367
          Running Dog says:

          If you do the experiment OTFWM suggests, the temperature of the tube will not rise. Clearly, he has not tried the experiment.

          As regards the climate, even climatologists themselves admit that CO2 has a tiny effect. They rely on things called “positive feedbacks” to create the alarming rises. And those predictions are guesswork, nothing more.

          Indeed, the very idea that climate can be predicted more accurately than weather is a lie. It is based on a white noise assumption, which would mean that over long timescales you can average out the random fluctuations. But the climate really behaves like so-called pink noise, which is scale-invariant, and does not become predictable on any timescale.

          Like

      • 173
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        Eh?

        The last ice age ended 10,000 years ago (in round numbers) and the place has been warming ever since. There have been fits and starts, but the trend has been warmer.

        Yes, the Vikings settled southern Greenland and grew barley, but that did not last long. Just like the medieval cold period (roasting oxen on the Thames).

        BTW I am not a Global Warming fan: I know about the Milankovic cycles.

        Like

        • 176
          Mine d'Boggles says:

          This was a reply to 9. Don’t know why it appeared here! Hope this surfaces after 172

          Like

    • 71
      Toby says:

      Like

    • 79
      A Commisar of the EUSSR Thort Police says:

      Oi!! That man!!! – we know how you are – and we’ll be round straight away to collect you for re-edyerkayshun!!! You need it you ‘orrible little runt!

      Like

    • 102
    • 161
      Stobrith says:

      What did I tell you in 1998

      Like

    • 166
      We know Mps talk bollocks. says:

      Like

    • 306
      mr carbon says:

      global warming-libor fixing. same motivation:money.

      it reminds me of religious reactivism 400 years ago.

      even the guy that made up global warming says it is made up.

      Like

    • 382
      Great Granddad says:

      AGW is certainly bollocks, as any fifteen year old high school physics student should easily be able demonstrate. Sadly, though, any increase in temperatures in rural Africa will not result in any increase in overall in tree cover. Since the early sixties possibly as much as 70% of the tree cover has disappeared and the rate is increasing in those areas that have any tree cover left. Wood is the only source of energy for the tribesman and any new trees will be cut down for the fire as fast as they grow.

      Like

  2. 2
    Four-eyed English Genius says:

    Wavy Davy and his chums will have to work out a new way of extorting money from hoi polloi!

    Like

    • 82
      Tin Can Cam - and hos Global Warming Scam says:

      Easy! – just get them to give to one of our suitably named charities that give away cuddly creatures – then feed them bullshit!!

      Like

    • 129
      Archer Karcher says:

      It’s not just Cameron and well you know it.

      All the mainstream parties in this country are lying through their teeth in the hope of a huge tax bonanza that would dwarf even Miliband’s delusional £780 billion, Climate Change Act bullcrap.

      Like

      • 137
        Four-eyed English Genius says:

        Absolutely true. I was not seeking to excuse the others in any way. Wavy Davy is the only one who can do something about it right now, though!

        Like

      • 270
        Edward the Longshanks says:

        Ed Miliband is the man who said that to oppose wind farms in your area should be socially unacceptable. It was then i knew he was a jerk off spunk stain facist wanker

        Like

  3. 3
    Renzo Piano says:

    You’re all invited to the grand opening of the Shard tonight and watch the laser show at 10.00 pm.

    I look forward to meeting all you bloggers in person.

    Like

  4. 5
    Al Gore is drowning in his own bullshit. says:

    Global catastrophe? My arse.

    Like

  5. 6
    Bled White Taxpayer says:

    It’s because climate change is some trendy left wing obblocks.

    I’ve got a right-on cousin who is fully wired into the whole eco-shite nonsense, and she won’t even acknowledge for the purpose of debate that it is not demonstrable, not proven, other scientists have other opinions, or that it is not the fault of middle class white Englishmen or American evil corporations over the last 150 years.

    Like

    • 11
      Bled White Taxpayer says:

      Is this Google or someone being facetious? Right below my post there’s an ad for a “Master in Environmental Management” from the “Institute of Social and Behavioural Sciences”. Where I am, that’s called farming, and you learn it from your Dad as you grow up, and by watching how nature works.

      Like

    • 14
      harryg says:

      I turned a friend from marching climate loon to thoughtful skeptic over 1 week’s holiday. Just need to show them the geological record of temperatures, CO2 and sea level (rather than the last 150 years). a bit of perspective is all that’s needed.

      Like

  6. 7
    Gordon Brown says:

    warm log

    Like

  7. 8
    Gordon Brown says:

    It was only a pretend cigarette officer

    Like

  8. 9
    Sandra in accounts says:

    The watermelons cannot use man made global warming for much longer to further international cultural marxism.

    There is too much real science out there now knocking the stuffing out of their new age anti freedom, anti prosperity junk science religion.

    And cut all subsidies to windfarms – lets see if there is an industry there or just a bunch of rent seeking moochers.

    Like

    • 148
      anti Fabian says:

      We all know the answer to your last point, but when the government decides between the rent seeking moochers, and the tax paying neo-serfs, the moochers win everytime.

      Like

  9. 12
    Lefty says:

    No, we invent something then tax it.

    Like

  10. 13

    No emissions here please.

    Like

    • 218
      Sir Aston Martin says:

      Alas, that’s all we get, and I include my own inanities.

      Like

      • 295

        This site produces the best and the worst.

        Just like the world.

        Just like journalism in general.

        Just like me and you.

        I think it is justified to have a well constructed rant at times. The world needs it. But it is also necessary to let off steam. I trust that most here will be able to tell the difference. I guess you do too.

        Like

  11. 15
    Caroline WhatanAss says:

    Shaaddup and admire my drawn on eyebrows.

    Like

  12. 16
    Tax is for little people says:

    http://t.co/TFH6dJnd

    Its good to be a diplomat!

    Like

    • 371
      Solutions R Us says:

      Simple. Brit dips should stop paying parking and other fines in the countries to which they are posted. Reciprocity is all that is needed. Just send the tickets to the local foreign ministry and forget about them.

      Like

  13. 17
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Of course, leave it to the eco-loons to come up with reasons why additional forestation in Africa is a BAD thing and why we must be on guard against such a disaster– why, all those poor species who are adapted to tall-grass type vegetation will be in danger of extinction! “You can help to stop this man-made ecological disaster and save the wildebeests– just keep sending 20 quid a month, a lot more if you can, to the King Canute Hold Back The Tide Fund! (All major cards accepted, PayPal preferred!) I’m Al Gore, and I approved this message!”

    Like

  14. 18
    The BBC drowning in their own bullshit says:

    The BBC has invested the licence fee payers money on climate recycled bullshit.

    Like

  15. 20
    Lord Stansted says:

    Doesn’t doing global warming aka climate change make you go blind?

    Like

  16. 21
    The Labour Cliterati says:

    But if all the tall grass is gone what will we do?

    Like

    • 81
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      No place to kick the inconvenient political-football issues then, is that what you’re on about? Believe me, you’ll find some way to handle the situation, I am sure; it seems you always do– LOOK OVER THERE! QUICK!

      Like

  17. 22
    Terrible But True says:

    Must say I did a double take to see the word ‘will’ in that headline, where usually it is the much more reassuringly vague ‘could’, beloved by such as the Telegraph & Guardian eco-crews, Richard Black of the BBC, etc..

    Luckily, reading on I see ‘suggests’ and ‘may well’, so order is restored, making it another press release about ‘science’ by ‘researchers’.

    Novel to see it swinging in from right field, mind.

    Be interesting to see if it gains traction. Then it will be fun to see all those little countries currently gunning for (A)GW compo faced with the dilemma of looking at long term self-interest and suddenly advocating more of what ever is.. ‘may’ be causing the problems that ‘may’ be about to perk up the old economic prospects down the line, versus keep schtum, grabbing what they can score now, and hoping such short-term venality will not be rewarded karmically by actually working, leaving them stuck in the scrub.

    Like

    • 143
      Archer Karcher says:

      The words you refer to, are the words ALL sales people are taught at the begining of their training, to keep the companies involved litigation free.
      They imply something without ever stating it as a fact.

      Up to one million means precisely nothing, as up to must, by definition, include the figure zero. When people push bullshit, they always use the sales bible, you can see it a mile off, if you are looking.

      Like

      • 224
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        See also the language used by Capita in the threatograms issued to telly-tax “evaders”: such mastery of the conditional comes only after years of practice. A halfwit reading it is convinced he’s (actually, more usually, she’s) already in the frame for a £1000 fine.

        Like

  18. 23
    Call me Dave says:

    TAX TREES!

    Like

  19. 24
    Brown Out says:

    eCo Arseholes.

    Like

  20. 25
    Lord Monkton (Science Expert to UKIP) says:

    If Climate Change is bollocks, then so is Guido’s posting. The post (and its assumptions) only makes sense if Climate Change is true.

    I agree with UKIP; God will not allow his chosen people to suffer, (especially since He has been so good to His chosen people since He created everything six thousand years ago).

    Why don’t you post on the Higgs Boson. Something else you know nothing about.

    Like

    • 30
      Gordon Brown says:

      Under my leadership the climate grew by a monstrous +0%

      Like

      • 42
        Gordon Brown also says:

        And Tony, whom I idolise, – also got richer!

        Like

      • 149
        Archer Karcher says:

        The argument is not that the climate is not changing, rather the argument is that the climate has always changed and human activity is not the cause.

        Five thousand years ago, there was no Arctic ice cap, it was forest because the earth was substantially warmer than today. That is a real, actual and unchallengable fact, the climate alarmist loons rather studiously ignore.

        To be fair that actual fact, is among many, many other facts the lying ecoloons ignore too.

        Like

        • 294
          Scientist says:

          Load a crap.. There is no land in the artic.. it is all ice.. 10,000 years ago the ice stretched down to the english channel even further,… 5,000 years ago the ice cap was as it was 1000 years ago..

          Like

          • Archer Karcher says:

            Apologies, moi bad, temporary mix up between the two poles and 5 thousand and 5 million yairs old boy. These things happen when you are rushing around.

            Like

    • 40
      not a machine says:

      Lord Monkton : I am interested , what data would you expect to see , if we were in a heating cycle ???

      Like

      • 44
        Innocent Ignoramus says:

        Rise in temp?

        heat?

        dunno – tell us!

        Like

        • 52
          not a machine says:

          Basically you get more , rise of air with mositure , the warmer the sea becomes , ergo more mass , bigger corelois effect , more powerful etc etc

          Like

          • The Paragnostic says:

            Unless the world starts to spin faster, the Coriolis effect will not change.

            A rise in sea levels will actually fractionally reduce the rate of rotation of the Earth (as well as causing further minute slowing due to tidal friction), so the Coriolis effect will in fact reduce ever so slightly.

            Warming of the sea surface will increase the energy in tropical storms, but unless the upper atmosphere also warms, will tend to reduce their range as they become less stable.

            Like

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            Moreover, warming would increase the area of brash ice in the Southern Ocean, increasing its albedo and hence reflecting more energy back into space. It has even been postulated that this can cause a switch to sudden cooling, and may have played a part in the formation of past ice ages.

            “They” don’t even know what the weather will do over the weekend. How the fuck they have the gall to to make predictions beyond that is a mystery to me.

            Like

      • 67
        Mark Cavendish. says:

        Sore Testicles.

        Like

    • 54
      The Paragnostic says:

      I think the point is that while the doom and gloom merchants tell us that the sky is falling and their sponsors imagine ever more complex taxes to pay for pit props to hold it up, this study shows that climate change is not a universally bad thing, and probably not worth beggaring the First World for.

      If the forests do start to cover the Sahara, then I presume Mali, Chad and wherever else will gain billions in carbon credits that they can then sell on, so it’s pretty good news for them.

      I still think that AGW is overstated, and that most of the “scientists” involved are nothing more than jumped up geography teachers – but this study shows that even the worst predicted outcomes have been narrow in their outlook, and that “Gaia” is more robust than the doomsayers thought.

      Like

      • 88
        not a machine says:

        I perhaps meant corelois effect on bigger moist air mass (thread ran out on post)

        Like

    • 63
      Higgs Boosoom says:

      now this higgs boson stuff….very credible but completely bonkers…this is the bit of ‘stuff’ we can’t actually see that fills in the blank bits of ‘matter’….a judicial enquiry is the answer…it is clearly wrong that scientists can put forward these wild theories when they have only spent several billion on building this giant scalextric track

      Like

  21. 26
    Errm says:

    We’ve just had, among a host of new weather records set recently, the wettest April and June on record. There’s definitely Something Going On.
    Spring is two or three weeks earlier than it was when I was a kid.

    Like

    • 46
      Buster Gut says:

      bollocks

      Like

      • 229
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        Thank you for your reasoned application for a research grant, which is hereby approved.

        Like

    • 191
      Another Engineer says:

      What is going on in Blighty is that the jet stream is too far south at our longitude compared to where it “normally” is, although what is normal is debatable. 2007 was the same, but there were similar years in the 1890s I believe.

      If this persists (and is due to some climate shift) then cold snowy winters and wet summers will be the thing, and not Mediterranean temperatures.

      It could of course be the onset of another Little ice Age (which may have been a phenomenon restricted to northern Europe).

      Who knows? Certainly not climate modelers.

      Enjoy the floods tomorrow, anyway.

      Like

    • 198
      Blowing Whistles says:

      As I read through this blog at 20:57 – 1st comment. To errm

      “… Something Going On …”

      Yes – The only “force on the planet” that should and must be respected is working away as usual – MOTHER NATURE.

      She [IT] I prefer the female tag on an more honest than men who run around in packs basis – is indescriminate; does not target people or in specific areas around the globe – MOTHER NATURE is just there – respect her. Many have been and continue to try to continue to make money out of her!!!!

      Do not give any respect for the scaremongers / moneymaking sickos like Al Gore and his Flat Earth – deluded legions of nutters.

      Al Gore – in his bull**it Noble peace prize lecture acceptance award – just couldn’t help himself when he had to ‘mention’ Tony Bliar in said “60 page document”

      [copies are available free of any charge via the webmaster and this blogger - IT IS THE DOCUMENT THAT NONE OF THE WORLDS - cc NUTS WANTS TO MENTION - Now why would that be? - Could it be an inconvenient document!!!]

      And we all now know what an effing two-faced Bliar Bliar has been shown to be – even though so many lickspittals in the MSM – can’t admit it … It’s a kinda I’m a straight kinda guy – ‘hari’ Kari moment.

      Like

  22. 27
    Aslef says:

    Like

  23. 29
    • 255
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The ‘People … the British People of the UK are not Bankrupt’ The ‘UK’ is somewhat a largley all encompassing word.

      Those who have “mismanaged” the UK – note ” ‘Those’ who mismanaged” – are bankrupt – and soon will be paying back from their ill gotten and unlawful gains. Their ‘gold plated pensions – will all of a sudden BE STOPPED’.

      And so to will be THE ILL GOTTEN GAINS of every wigged wonder who has fezzed up to deliver justice [so to speak!!!] IN THEIR WORDS that justice has been ‘seen to be done’ – JUSTICE which in their diminishing world of bull ain’t what it should be – but which has seen them – as taking the effing mickey out of the Public for so many decades.

      Like

  24. 33
    not a machine says:

    So what does Mr Draghi’s 0.75% actually do then ??

    Just for balance on post topic , man made global warming is highly tenious . global warming as in more natural cycle isnt . the trouble is the spread of heat (global heating is a better term) , tropical storms feed off sea heat , continent storms occure at hot cold air barriers . Savanna may turn tropical , but consistant enough for real eqitoral rain forest , I doubt . The bigger storms theory would fit either global heating theory.

    Like

  25. 36
    SAS NOT !!! says:

    So does this mean that The Cock will be changing the Tory logo back to a Tree

    Like

  26. 38
    Bardirect says:

    “suggests” + “may” do not amount to “reveals”

    Their conclusion that “atmospheric change represents a major threat to systems that are already threatened by over-grazing, plantation forestry and crop production.” seems a little at odds with your ambitious headline.

    and where is the water going to come from?

    Like

    • 45
      not a machine says:

      Re lord Monkton : perhaps an interesting question is “where did all the water come from ?” :)

      Like

    • 47
      realist!!!! says:

      Sky!!

      Like

      • 49
        realist!!!! says:

        Ho, rain clouds… they have their part!

        Like

        • 56
          realist!!!! says:

          And the tap in my loo!!!

          Like

          • realist!!!! says:

            Sorry for THPiss Just can’t help myself

            Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            MOTHER NATURE – Rules – not some peepot collection of MP’s, CEO’s COO’s etc and the generally corrupted of the CORPORATE weird world of actors out of Hollyweird world. Oh and The Marxists and Communists and their Bankrolling – moneylenders can ‘get’ as well with all of their dirty “TRICKS”.

            Like

      • 59
        not a machine says:

        que run Dr Brian coxs animation of how planets formed …… mmmm seems to always be a red hot agglomerate of rocks , with no water !

        Like

        • 75
          The Paragnostic says:

          Comets, dear boy – comets.

          There is a lot of water in a nascent solar system that initially agglomerates further out than the rocky planets, but not in stable orbit due to the effect of the gas planets. This water forms comets, some of which end up colliding with the rocky planets and providing the water.

          Like

          • not a machine says:

            What onto a red hot glowing ball , that had no atmosphere ? and then perhaps collided with other planet to form moon and earth . why didnt it just evaporate away as other planetary models show ??

            Like

          • The Paragnostic says:

            There only has to be enough water to chill the surface by evaporation for long enough for a stable temperature gradient to be established.

            That’s a lot of water, but there was a hell of a lot in the early universe.

            Like

        • 78
          Jock Euler says:

          We don’t have water. We have whisky.

          Like

  27. 39
    Tin Can Cam, and his Wind Farm Scam says:

    Firstly I have to thank Guido for his insight in bringinging this to our attention!

    Secondly, this in no way dimisihness the need for my Wind Farm scam to bring in lots of trouble-free dosh to my family and other similar rich spongers, – and also so that I can toady to the EUSSR, – another scam to which I am deeply in debt.

    Thirdly, it establishes me as a good egg with the muesli munchers – the econazis and their groupies.

    Like

  28. 43
    Mark Ramprakash announces retirement from cricket says:

    Mark Ramprakash announces retirement from cricket

    Like

  29. 47
    Creepy says:

    Like

    • 381
      The Bottle Fed Triplet says:

      Barking. Why is it that because someone is an actor or on the telly they automatically have a better insight in to anything than the rest of us? What are Tom’s considered opinions on the efficient use of electrical motors, or drift mining or naval architecture, or the use of muscle relaxants for surgery under local anasthaesia? Clueless? You said it !

      Like

  30. 50
    Spinal Damage says:

    I’m disappointed. I would have thought the BBC would be responsible for climate change. The amount of bullshit that is farted out by Brown’s Bullshitting Corporation (BBC) is bound to impact on the atmosphere in a negative way.

    Like

  31. 51
    Creepy says:

    Like

  32. 57
    m’Lard PrizeClot, NooLieBore Illustration, Scoff, TV Personality, - commenting on current events says:

    A bitta climate change never ‘urt noone – sailed the world I did, – ‘ot, cold, – all the same ter me, – an’ I know how to hande ‘eat – Trace wouldn’t let up – and when she got going . . . phwooarrrhhh!!!

    Anyway, anyone gotta sandwich . . ? patsy . . .? . . .sandwich . . .? chips . . ? bluddy starving I am!

    Like

  33. 58
    A wind farmer scammer says:

    I want a wind farm and those subsidies now.

    Like

  34. 61
    A disabled seagull says:

    Wind turbines are awful.

    Like

    • 86
      Well it's a thought says:

      Big business are dem does windmills, 75 more for Liverpool bay, all those lovely fish will have a plaice to hide.

      Like

    • 125
      concrete pump says:

      They are……until they want me to pump hard slump into the reinforced foundations.

      Heh heh heh…..£££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££££.

      Like

  35. 65
    Gordon Brown says:

    Tonight I will be avoiding playing 5 a side

    Like

  36. 66
    Gordon Brown says:

    I have been asked by Big Ben if I would like to participate in a game of Tin Can Alley

    Like

    • 269
      Blowing Whistles says:

      The Clock face of Big Ben according to Tobias Ellwood MP [He of Hansard come on 'Big Boy' fame - his opening speech] allegedly, will be replaced with a gigantic wind turbine. It will power the needs of every Londoner for the next 100 years – what with the ‘Hot Air’ and ‘Wind Bagging’ that emanates from the Parliamentarians at the House of Commons.

      Like

  37. 70
    nellnewman says:

    Would be good but are they right!

    After the last anthropogenic global warming scam that militwit as environment minister helped to establish with £millions of our money, I’m not sure I’m prepared to believe them.

    Like

  38. 72
    Gorgon Brown says:

    Today, I will be representing my constituents. Aha, just joking. Got you all going there.

    Like

    • 83
      UKIP.i.am says:

      His absence from the Commons in the latest banking debate is telling.

      Gordon Brown is like Frodo Baggins. He saved middle earth but sadly was not able to save himself (yes another work of fiction). And now those pesky bankorcs are back in numbers. So just as Frodo in the end disappeared to a new land, Brown has also done that. In his case, Cloud cuckoo land.

      Like

      • 108
        Owain Glyndwr says:

        frodo is living in my village, of course we keep it quiet, we call hin Dai Hobbitt

        Like

      • 113
        Brown was once thought to be the "Greatest Chancellor" in living memory by the BBC and Guardian says:

        Brown will of course be a key witness…after all he was at the heart of the regulation of the UK Banking Industry and HM Treasury operations for 13 years

        Like

      • 128
        Frodo Baggins couldn't save himself ????? says:

        Have you actually read the book ?

        Like

    • 89
      Labour...filth...just filth says:

      as saviour of the world what a suprise you were not in the commons today talking up the judge led enquiry motion you’ve just lost.

      Like

    • 180
      Gordon's Nurse says:

      (I know I’ll regret this.)
      And just what is it that you’re made of, Gordon ?

      Like

      • 273
        Blowing Whistles says:

        Never forget – never again – Blair and Brown – were joined at the hip from the start – and do not be ‘fooled’ by the supposed division among all the New Labour party mongrels. And there are still plenty of Mongrels in the CONLIB PROJECT PARTY too.

        Like

  39. 77
    SAS NOT !!! says:

    Guido…You sound more like a Scientologist as each day passes.

    Like

  40. 80
    Raving Loon says:

    AGW:

    Government invests tax payers money in climate research

    Climate research produces results requiring green taxes

    Green taxes generate more revenue than initial investment generating surplus money for government to spend on benefits and vote buying

    Repeat ad infinitum

    Like

  41. 84
    Jen The blue says:

    AGW is bollocks as someone has already said. Just a load of pseudo-scientists ensuring funding so their mortgages are paid by the taxpayer.

    Like

  42. 85
    Brown Shitst@ins on the BBC says:

    Today I will be polishing my wood.

    Like

  43. 87
    Another Engineer says:

    The potential for a lot of savannah to become forest has always been there.

    Elephants, humans and an an assortment of herbivores grazing it keep it that way, by cutting down, burning, knocking down, or eating trees. Grassland is only a stable ecosystem in the presence of animals.

    If you fence a piece off it becomes forest.

    If things grow a bit faster because of increased CO2/temperature, then surely the herbivores will just eat more?

    Like

  44. 93
    Ed Dafty says:

    As Secretary of State for Energy & Climate Change I want to ensure that my Department is a revenue generator so, as a FibDem tree-hugger I will be pushing up little people’s energy costs in any way I can.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-18145313

    Like

  45. 94
    Moley says:

    Our planet has seen a time when Greenland was literally green and another time when half the world was covered in ice. All this without millions of automobiles and hundreds of scientists measuring carbon dioxide levels every five minutes and shouting about the end of the world.

    Our planet is still here after billions of years, which tends to suggest that the systems which influence the climate are inherently stable.

    However, stability can be dynamic, like a swinging pendulum; perhaps the climate falls into that category, in which case it’s just a matter of working out where we are in the climate cycle so that we know what to expect of the future.

    Anybody who took CO2 levels seriously and had imminent fears of a climatic calamity would have banned the Olympics instantly. Never has so much CO2 been produced for such frivolity in the history of our planet.

    Like

    • 107
      Four Seasons in One Year says:

      Climate Change = Weather

      Like

    • 140
      Backwoodsman says:

      Look at archeologists findings of Viking Greenland burial sites. Graves went in a 400 year period from being dug 6 feet deep, to being scratched in permafrost top soil !
      End of settlements.

      Like

      • 150
        Trahison des Clercs says:

        In any event AGW or whatever you want to call it, will not destroy the planet. It might change it so that the vile human race cannot survive and that would be no loss. Some other species will become dominant in the millions of years to voIt maybe that the jumped-up monkeys have had their day.

        Like

        • 158
          Engineer says:

          Alternatively, we could end up with vineyards in Northumberland and the Houses of Parliament flooded. Hard to see a downside, really.

          Like

  46. 96
    My Latest Bandwagon says:

    Oh dear, having relied on the UK banking industry tax revenues when in office, and bullying the banks to follow their instructions, poor Little Ned and Ed have lost the Commons banking enquiry vote, and can’t now do as much damage to the industry as the enquiry they wanted would have done. Diddums.

    Like

    • 104
      Labour...filth...just filth says:

      the current shadow government has such trouble generating any widespread interest in anything they say it is not suprise they would be high horsing a judicial enquiry as opposed to a joint committee…as usual rhetoric above reality.

      Like

    • 152
      UKIP.i.am says:

      Can we expect the BBC to announce a major Labour U-turn? Not an effing chance.

      Like

  47. 99
    Gordon McDoom says:

    I am not answering any calls on the phone or the fax or the telex machine or the interweb telegraph machine.

    Miliband, stop pestering me to go to a sodding vote. I’ve done my bit.

    I saved the banks. The nation, the world.
    END OF!

    I deserve a rest.

    Like

    • 115
      He saved the World but totally destroyed Labour says:

      You can always plead “The Fifth” Gordon when the US investigators come knocking

      Like

  48. 100
    Ed Miliband Brown's arse and Balls licker says:

    The Libor Party is committed to climate bullshit.

    Like

  49. 103
    BBC News says:

    And here’s our ecological correspondent to report on the likely future rise of rich, lush, vegetation in Africa.

    Only joking..here’s Lizzie to tell us all about the coming desertification of the UK if you lot don’t start properly separating your printed cardboard from non printed cardboard.

    Like

    • 112
      nellnewman says:

      A few years ago profjones of the U E A was preaching that EAnglia was about to become a desert and that we gardeners would only be able to grow cacti.

      I await this eventuality with interest. Meanwhile my garden this year is greener and more productive in flowers than it has ever been.

      Like

    • 119
      The UK doing it's bit for climate change and the third world says:

      The scam of course is that the punters separate all their cardboard;tin cans;paper;plastic;metal into several different coloured bags/bins which have to be put out in set rota on set days NOT before 7.00am or left out after 9.00pm or you will be fined £150.00 and the we collect in separte refuse lorries and transfer the whole lot into one big container and ship it off to India where it’s all emptied into a local rubbish dump

      Like

      • 127
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        I refused when my council offered me a brown then a green bin. I just dump everything in my black bin. I will only separate my waste if i get a £200 rebate on my council tax (seeing as i am doing the work).

        If they refuse to empty my black bin, then i stop paying my council tax and fly-tip my rubbish in my local councilor’s back garden :-)

        Like

      • 185
        Lou Scannon says:

        I used to recycle stuff for years before these arseholes started telling me that I have to do it – or else. Since there is clear evidence that they’re not matching my efforts in making it work I feel much less inclined to bother these days.

        Like

        • 235
          Sir Aston Martin says:

          Anarchy has to start somewhere, I suppose.

          Like

          • Blowing Whistles says:

            With Respect Sir A M – Anarchy is a much ‘abused word’ a better couple of words are – as below:-

            I tend to love “Civil Disobedience” – which the PTB have great difficulty with and I tend to shuve that up the bent politicians and Local Councillors’ Rses as a better phrase. Proof is in the number of times that this blogger – “has not” been reported to the police by their MP’s and Local Councillors!!! – they can’t because then – there would have to be a ‘criminal investigation’ at which point their ‘criminality would come out into the public domain. It works hence they – just go silent in the local town hall. Proven 30 times and still doing it.

            Lateral thinking and action under a ‘Civil Disobedience’ citation – really does give the effers a problem.

            Like

          • Sir Aston Martin says:

            I like the sound of that. If we all put even a teensy spanner in their works … but then most of us are morons, or sheep at best, and collectively deserve the treatment we’re getting.

            Time for some biological cull, methinks. Global plague, anyone?

            Like

          • Daddy Longlegs says:

            BW – please describe some workable measures (for the hard of thinking!)

            Like

  50. 105
    BBC NEWS says:

    HERETICS AND CLIMATE CHANGE DENIERS!!!!!!

    PS. Remember to pay your TV tax.

    Like

    • 117
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Haven’t paid it for 7 years.

      If everyone grew a pair, and refused to pay, the BBC would be bankrupt within a week :-)

      Like

    • 118
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Haven’t paid it for 7 years.

      If everyone grew a pair, and refused to pay, the BBC would be bank-rupt within a week :-)

      Like

      • 121
        TV Detector Vans and other urban myths of the 20th Century says:

        Watch everything on i-player via PC etc….as long as you don’t watch live(and they can never prove that anyway)you do not require a TV licence or even a TV for that matter..it’s even available in HD

        Like

  51. 109
    Serena Williams says:

    All these blonde bimbos on. They all look the same.

    Like

  52. 122
    Josiah Bartlett says:

    If it happens it will also turn huge frozen areas such as Siberia into fertile grasslands.

    Like

  53. 124

    Meanwhile Climate Change has brought us the wettest June since, err, 1860 and one of the coldest in 100 yrs.

    And the Met Office forecast (yes you guessed it) “warmer and drier than usual”.

    http://notalotofpeopleknowthat.wordpress.com/2012/07/04/uk-weather-in-june/

    Like

  54. 131
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I have walked on water.

    I have turned water into wine

    I have fed thousands with just some fish and loaves

    I saved the world

    ***** I am Gordon Brown******

    Like

    • 138
      Skidmark says:

      We love you Gordon xxxxx

      Like

      • 155
        The NooLieBore Clitorati says:

        Ugh!!! men!!! pass that double-header darling – fancy a twosome?

        Like

    • 281
      Blowing Whistles says:

      And don’t forget Gordon – Mr Tony slitherrer Bliar taught you how to swerve [reminds one of Mervyn at the bank!!] every legal bombshell with aplomb. So that’ll be another £10 million in the offshore account from Brown to Blair ‘Incorporated’.

      Like

  55. 141
    John Prescott says:

    The climate in my house changes every time I let out a big fat wet fart.

    Like

  56. 142
    concrete pump says:

    The Chinese will chop it all down before it gets a fucking chance….

    Like

  57. 144
    First question on tonight's Question Time says:

    “Should the government apologise for allowing Barclays to fix Libor rates? And isn’t it time Ed Balls received the Nobel prize?”

    Like

    • 194
      Fish says:

      Gobshite John Mann pretty well asked that question of Gideon this afternoon. Something along the lines of: As he is responsible for RBS can the Chancellor be sure RBS haven’t been doing this?

      Breathtaking. Mann is someone who should be let nowhere near the new committee.

      Like

      • 239
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        “Gobshite” would be a fantastic improvement on “the honourable gentleman” … e.g. “I refer to the statement made earlier by the Gobshite for Hemel Hempstead.”

        Like

      • 304
        Marmite says:

        John Mann is pig-ignorant. He really did sound like a prize plonker when Bob Diamond was at HOC. Is he an ex-union bloke by any chance?

        Like

  58. 146
    Mike hunt says:

    Keep building those wind turbines, you know it makes sense.

    Like

  59. 162
    Felix says:

    I would have expected James Delingpole to be all over this story faster than you could say ‘watermelons’

    Like

  60. 164
    Engineer says:

    The world’s human population is expanding, and presumably they’ll all want to eat. That means we’ll need lots of plants; either to eat or to feed to animals we then eat. Plants need CO2 to grow. More CO2, more plants. (This simple fact is already used in commercial greenhouses to increase plant growth – a very small increase in atmospheric CO2 concentration produces a significant increase in plant growth rate.)

    Fire up them V8’s and coal-fired power stations, and we’ll have tomatoes as big as Ed Balls’ head!

    Like

  61. 169
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Brown’s boys are lying scum.

    Like

    • 179
      a non says:

      You may take our lives, you may take our freedom but you’ll never take our Gordons….

      Like

      • 190
        I don't need no doctor says:

        Is that Gordon’s with ice and a slice, or Gordon’s lying is a vice?

        Like

  62. 172

    Renewable UK, the wind power lobby group, said it would consider a judicial challenge if ministers caved in to Tory backbenchers.

    So a lobby group propose to use funds that they could only have obtained from the existence of a government subsidy to challenge government itself.

    Is that a first?

    Like

  63. 184
    joescotus says:

    o/t watched lizzie in glasgow cathedral being honoured by all the heads of faiths did not see any head of the religion of peace salmond &sturgeon whoring yourselves to the muslim vote explain that please?

    Like

  64. 193
    simple simon says:

    MP’s are responsible for all the hot air associated with global warming

    Like

  65. 195
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    Did Steve have a researcher named Helmut on his team? Was his nickname “Purple”?

    Like

  66. 196
    Jealous Guy says:

    All this money burning holes in banker’s pockets doesn’t help either!

    Like

  67. 197

    Give Professor Higgs a knighthood?

    He has done more for our country, and the world than any prime minister since Margaret Thatcher.

    Give him a fucking Earldom – at the least…

    Like

    • 201
      annette curton says:

      Call me an old fashioned cynic, but I want to see one first.

      Like

    • 202
      Liza says:

      Gor blimey, guv, a hearldom ? It was only a little ‘un ‘e predicted. I mean, it’s like ‘e told us what was going to win the bloomin’ Derby, is it ?

      Like

  68. 199
    annette curton says:

    Think the Krauts have missed out a fundamental element of the equation, nothing is going to grow very much in Africa if it gets cut down by a lot of people.

    Like

    • 377
      Daddy Longlegs says:

      Yup, hardly a tree left in Malawi these days as the natives have chopped it all for firewood for the cooking fires. What they need is a couple of nuclear power plants…

      Like

  69. 200
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    How the fuck does the BBC get away with it? WE ALL HEARD Ed Testicles state in the Commons that Liebore would NOT support the Parliament driven investigation into the banks didn’t we?

    We heard it clear as day, yet check out the BBC coverage and once again the BBC have whitewashed the whole thing, concentrating not on Labour’s U turn or as Prick Robinson would put it (if it were a Tory party U Turn) “an embarrassing climbdown”

    Fuck off BBC c u n t s

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-18716828

    Like

    • 213
      Joe says:

      The BBC is a fucking disgrace!

      Like

      • 223
        nellnewman says:

        The beeb is a dinosaur slowly becoming irrelevant. I hope after 2015 cameron will sell it off in bits to the highest bidders so we the taxpayer at least get something back for their inane drivel.

        Like

      • 225
        nellnewman says:

        OK modbot what exactly didn’t yoyu like about my comment on the beeb? was is to do with i n an e dr iv el

        Like

        • 285
          Blowing Whistles says:

          Is Ian drivel the name of the new head of the BBC – I thought it was E in’t gonna blow a whistle – on Labour.

          Like

  70. 203
    Anonymous says:

    Looks like Guido has been censored over :

    Sultan of Brunei

    Ummmmmmmmmm!

    Like

    • 206
      A P Herbert says:

      Quite so. The British legal system is the best that money can buy.

      Like

    • 378
      Daddy Longlegs says:

      Is that censored or censured? Brunei is ruled under a state of emergency and has been so now for more than 30 years. Bloody dangerous place to be (obviously; that’s why there is a regiment of Gurkhas stationed there, innit?)

      Like

  71. 204
    annette curton says:

    Posts by lunatics are sometimes allowed but at the discretion of the management.

    Like

  72. 205
    Liza says:

    The bloomin’ ‘bot’s off ‘is rocker, that’s why.

    Like

  73. 207
    and I threw out my fridge and spray deodorants... says:

    Remember that big hole in the ozone layer…dont tell me that was all bollocks too, was it?

    Like

    • 209
      Another Engineer says:

      Er no, that was real, and easily proved by doing real chemistry and not computer modeling. Doesn’t mean that every scare is true though.

      Like

  74. 214
    Liebour says:

    Like

  75. 222
    Pi SCOEURVOEUR says:

    #TO
    M#TO$Y%
    *
    *
    *
    *

    HAI GHEED

    HAI GUISE

    http://order-order.com/2012/07/04/osborne-fingers-brown/

    OSBORN

    OZPORN

    OZ SPAWN

    PHFFVWRROGGSZMOUURN LW 162

    %

    DA KURRENT EGGSCZESZ WRAYDAEYO AKDDYYVVYYDDYY

    YYNN DA C AN YYNN DA O SHAN,

    KAN KAWSZ PRIMER SPHFFAESCAESZ

    SCZTDEYRRWRRYYLLYYDDYY

    UPANDAOUWN DA PHFFVHOOUWD TCHAYN

    TOE TAL EGGKQXZSDTYYNNGKQGJXION OV SCZZYYLL*Y*PHFFV

    INDyEND

    %

    TW PHFFVYYSSH PHFFVYYNGUWRRSZ

    PARSZ DA PHFFVWRROGGSZBPWRAWN

    *

    ASTA

    Like

  76. 228
    higgs bonus says:

    These geniuses haven’t seemed to work out that if you pay scientists oodles of cash to look for something, they’ll more than likely find it. Fucking wankers.

    Like

  77. 241
    The BBC is a fucking disgrace! says:

    Mock the Week, yet another dyed in the wool lefty wankfest of unfunny Labour luvvies riding the BBC gravy train at everyone else’s expense.

    Oh how 2005 New Liebour, so much yawn zzz zzz zzz…

    Like

    • 251
      Luvvinnit says:

      MTW has never been the same since Frankie Boyle left. True, he can be a twat but he was just right for that format.

      Like

    • 254
      Anonymous says:

      Never watch the bbc – it has zero integrity both organisationally and individually (look at all the tax dodging presenters)

      Like

    • 261
      Abolish the BBC says:

      I only watched it when Frankie Boyle was on. The rest are very tame.

      Like

    • 312
      Veronica says:

      Amuses me on a show designed for entertainment that every a non-white guest is compelled to play race card, and then to be completely humourless. Pity that Andy has so few friends that he needs to show his typically “anal” compliance with BBC policies.

      Like

  78. 244
    Anonymous says:

    Contains some strong language. LOL

    Go on John, sock it to em.

    Like

  79. 245
    Luvvinnit says:

    Ed Balls you are going down you slaaaaaaaaag.

    can’t wait.

    Like

  80. 246
    The Henderson Family says:

    Please tell Ed Millibland to fuck right off.

    Like

  81. 247
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Let the beast loose Dimblebore.

    Like

  82. 258
    annette curton says:

    Knobinson and the Pest are like the ghosts of Xmas past.

    Like

  83. 259
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Public Enquiry now. Led by the Rt Dishonourable John Lydon.

    Like

  84. 260
    The Paragnostic says:

    OK – here’s a serious idea for the future setting of Libor. It’s designed to stop cross-contamination of rates between banks and to minimise groupthink.

    Each bank will submit a range of rates rather than a single rate for each category to the central collection point.

    No reporting of relative rates back to the banks will be allowed – such data may be published after a suitable delay.

    Thus each bank will have to set the rate according to their own internal data, and a true m*rket rate can be achieved.

    This wouldn’t stop outright cartel behaviour, but would give a much fairer result for the most part.

    Like

    • 297

      I think you are onto something here (leaving aside that for some periods during the crisis there was almost no interbank market at all.)

      Trades are of different sized tranches. Therefore they should submit the amount, period and rate for all transactions within a set period, maybe 15 minutes either side of 11:00 am each day. No other details will be required.

      The Bank of England should then take a random selection of those figures and omit the rest. This will prevent any interference on the submitter’s side. The figures can then be weighted against either the day’s total throughput or a notional figure that approximates to the average day (which can be revised from time to time in the light of m@rket conditions.)

      Without prior notice, any submitter’s figures may be inspected by the Bank to ensure compliance.

      Like

  85. 263
    Cressida's Dick says:

    There’s a volcano waiting to erupt on the left of the screen.

    Like

  86. 265
    not now cato says:

    John Lydon on good form on QT tonight, and I didn’t expect to say that. First time I have been able to stomach QT for a while.

    Like

    • 268
      Cressida's Dick says:

      He doesn’t have to worry about folks voting for him so tells it how it is.

      Quite refreshing re*ally.

      Like

      • 271
        Selohesra says:

        Thought he was a bit of an arse actually but why is Wayne Rooney on – AJ a bit thick but I think he is honest politician

        Like

        • 275
          Herr Kutz says:

          Judging by AJ’s poncy hairdo he must have a new bit of stuff on the side.

          Like

        • 286
          Anonymous says:

          “a *bit* of an arse”? “most overrated arsehole”?
          A thick as shit, blinkered, self-promoting, utter black hole of an arsehole!

          Like

          • South of the M4 says:

            But clever enough to see that being ‘ A thick as shit, blinkered, self-promoting, utter black hole of an arsehole! ‘ – was in fact so much in tune of the day that he would earn a fortune. Good on him. ‘ Never mind the *ollocks’ was, ironically, the best engineered album of its day. Don’t agree with his views – but admire his ability.

            Like

  87. 266
    Brrrrrian "The Chill" Leveson says:

    Just give me a call if you want anything cooling.

    Like

  88. 267
    annette curton says:

    Inquiry!, inquiry!, they have all got it inquiry.

    Like

  89. 272
    Virgin TiVo FAQ says:

    I know how to skip adverts but how do I skip an anti establishment bed wetter who has sold out to a pretend butter brand?

    Like

  90. 276
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Recite the second verse of Bodies.

    You can’t, then feck off.

    Like

  91. 280
    Robbie Williams says:

    I want whatever that cat Lyddon is on.

    Like

  92. 282
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Shitstorm & twat. Hardly deserving of a warning. John was on his best behaviour.

    Like

  93. 289
    Blowing Whistles says:

    My shredder hasn’t been near all the e-mails and letters from Johnson’s office at the DTI.

    Like

  94. 290
    Anonymous says:

    Who’s the blond Yankee bimbo on TW? She’s almost unintelligible! Must have been wonderful trying to communicate with her when she was on the trading floor

    Like

    • 300

      Barbara Stcherbatcheff.

      I can understand what she is saying but I reserve judgement about all its validity.

      She is entirely right about the childishness of the industry and also about the bad quality of investments that the banking market created though.

      Like

  95. 293
    God save the Queen says:

    Was I a right twat or is it just me? I’ve a banging head.

    Like

  96. 299
    not a machine says:

    I cant be botherd to re write tonights post, the delights of modern technology connect disconnect going nuts …anyone else ….

    Like

  97. 301
    Gordon Brown, Saviour Of The World says:

    Climate change gives me the wood.
    Apparently it’s going to do the same for the savannas.
    This is one Savannah who’s had a lot of the wood put to her already:

    Like

  98. 302
    Doolally delaney says:

    The old men have lost it.The city boys have blown it.Here in our midst comes a goddess to redeem us, and her name is Barbara Stcherbatcheff.

    Like

  99. 303
    david says:

    I will only be really happy when i can grow coffee and bananas in my back garden

    Like

  100. 307
    Kinnochio says:

    How the fuck does Howitt get elected? He is an even more waffly and content free Hoon than I am!

    Like

  101. 309
    Kinnochio says:

    I commend the two Eds brilliant strategy for “growth”. Borrow a lot more money from China. Spend it on:
    1) importing windmills from Germany
    2) importing La5tvian loft laggers
    3) equal opportunities outreach to make sure the natives are confined to reservations away from prosperous cities and suffer more from the resulting economic decline than the recent settlers

    Like

  102. 310
    Gordon Brown(Live from Ed Miliband's house of Commons Office) says:

    I’m a “backdoor man”

    Good Morning.

    Like

  103. 311

    In a village there is just one barber. He is clean shaven, as are all the men in the village. The barber only shaves those men in the village who do not shave themselves.

    Who shaves the barber?

    Like

    • 314
      Paddy Field says:

      His wife.
      Next question ?

      Like

      • 318

        He is unmarried but never mind, Paddy, I have something more pressing:

        Suppose that every public library has to compile a catalogue of all its books. Since the catalogue is itself one of the library’s books, some librarians include it in the catalogue for completeness; while others leave it out as it being one of the library’s book is self-evident.

        Now imagine that all these catalogues are sent to the national library. Some of them include themselves in their listings, others do not. The national librarian compiles two master catalogues – one of all the catalogues that list themselves, and one of all those that don’t.

        The question is: should these catalogues list themselves? The Catalogue of all catalogues that list themselves is no problem. If the librarian doesn’t include it in its own listing, it is still a true catalogue of those catalogues that do include themselves. If he ‘does include it, it remains a true catalogue of those that list themselves.

        However, just as the librarian cannot go wrong with the first master catalogue, he is doomed to fail with the second. When it comes to the Catalogue of all catalogues that don’t list themselves, the librarian cannot include it in its own listing, because then it would include itself. But in that case, it should belong to the other catalogue, that of catalogues that do include themselves. However, if the librarian leaves it out, the catalogue is incomplete. Either way, it can never be a true catalogue of catalogues that do not list themselves.

        Like

    • 319
      a non says:

      Is the barber old enough to requre to shave?

      Like

    • 322
      ALL POLITICIANS ARE BORN FUCKING LIARS says:

      More to the point who shaves all the women and where is this village ?

      Like

    • 326
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Himself.

      Like

    • 350
      Fabians are Evil says:

      Simple – he shaves himself.

      “He only shaves those men in the village who do not shave themselves” – that ‘word tangle’ does not stop him shaving himself.

      Like

      • 354
        Paddy Field says:

        Yes, it does – unless, perhaps, he doesn’t live in the village himself ?
        Or does he only do it when no-one’s looking ? Does he drink Heisenberg ?

        Like

        • 380
          Fabians are Evil says:

          You, sir, are wrong – please re-read the question

          Like

          • Paddy Field says:

            If he shaves himself then he cannot be one of those men in the village who do not shave themselves, therefore he cannot be one of those men in the village that he shaves, therefore he cannot be shaving himself.
            QED : quite easily done (blame my maths teacher for that one !)

             

            I suppose that, although this guy is the only barber in town, we haven’t ruled out the possibility that they’re all shaving each other regardless of their professions. I’m not sure I like the way this is heading though …..

            Like

    • 352
      gramma says:

      Must be warm weather in C today CRMM.
      Sunstroke[s] at dawn eh?

      Like

  104. 313
    Gordon Brown says:

    I wish the Shard well.

    Like

  105. 317
    Gordon Brown MP says:

    I’m hard at work getting on with the job of doing my utmost.

    Like

  106. 320
    ALL POLITICIANS ARE BORN FUCKING LIARS says:

    If we no longer need the 20,000 troops that the government have rewarded for their loyal service , by putting them on the dole
    Why the fuck do they need replacing with 30,000 unpaid TA replacements ?

    I for one would rather be run by our military than the shower of shit we have to put up with

    Like

    • 325
      Well it's a thought says:

      That’s what the politicians are afraid of, that’s why they have kept the troops out of the country.

      Like

    • 333
      DemoKrat says:

      “I for one would rather be run by our military”

      Every murdering, torturing, repressive regime anywhere in the world and throughout history has been caused by twats like you.

      Like

      • 363
        ALL POLITICIANS ARE BORN FUCKING LIARS says:

        You would be first against the wall you fucking waster !

        Like

        • 366
          In defence of the realm says:

          The point being who would you trust ?
          a group of soldiers who chose to put their lives on the line for this country
          or a gang of thieving fat freeloading idle fucking money squandering wankers who want to surrender this country to europe and immigrants ?

          Like

          • DemoKrat says:

            When you get a military government, you don’t just get the elite decent soldiers, you get the MoD wasters, and you also get the worst of the military.

            You get the murderers at Deepcut barracks. You get the torturers of Iraquis. You get the corrupt and incompetent desk-jockeys.

            And once they are in you can’t vote them out.

            What are oafs like you doing on a Libertarian blog?

            Like

      • 365
        Ernestine Tentions says:

        Harsh, but fair.

        Like

    • 344
      UKIP.i.am says:

      The one thing that was never ‘menschioned’ last night on QT was that the bill for the armed services (like every other area of the incompetent, clueless state) has to be paid by the taxpayer, who is already being clobbered because of the omnishambles of the last Labour government who threw taxpayers money around like confetti, without any consideration of trying to get value for OUR money. (Its not their money so why should they care?

      There were other areas on the prog where the panel suggested we needed to spend more money for this and more money for that. So they still don’t get it.

      We need to slash public spending – not having all these morons keep telling us we need to spend even more as if we had some magical money tree.

      Like

      • 361
        Public Sector Money Tree is sacred says:

        “Old Chinese folk tale tells of a man who placed fake money on a tree in order to trick people into cutting it down for him. But so many people believed the tree to be sacred that it became sacred…….”

        Like

    • 390
      /\RM/\E TDR/\INER says:

      .

      SCZTDHART WRRHUNNHINNG, SCZUKKA

      *

      ASTA

      Like

  107. 332
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Why are labour MPs thick and loud mouthed? Is it a prerequisite of the job?

    Like

  108. 359
    Anonymous says:

    Let’s face it, if the UK was a company probably none of the fuc*erks now in place would be employed. Why do the majority of companies employ the best, while the electorate vote for the least able? No wonder the country is in the shit and Davey boy is the U turn king. They are all fuc*ing useless and the ones with a smidgen of ability are forced into exile on the back benches!! Those that can work! Those from privileged back grounds or union lackeys all with limited abilities but with the right connections become MP’s. We, the population, have to suffer the cu*ts!! Climate change! 99% of the cu*ts don’t understand the BEANO let alone climate change!!

    Like

  109. 360
    Stupid Hippy says:

    NO ITS ABOUT NASTY PEOPLE WITH 4X4S KILLING BABY POLAR BEARS

    BLOW UP A PETROL STATION FOR GAIA

    Like

    • 362
      Hippy replacement says:

      It’s all about greed and envy. Those polar bears make a mint from advertising.

      Like

  110. 372
    Anonymous says:

    In desperate attempt to become a forest loving treehugger, Guido has ignored the loss of Savannah species/ecosystems. still, who likes lions?

    Like

  111. 379
  112. 385
    MEAN says:

    How many windmills does it take to run the BBC?

    Like

  113. 386
    anon says:

    How many windmills does it take to run the BBC?

    Like

  114. 392
    David B says:

    Did the BBC pick up on it

    Like

  115. 393
    Brontosaurus says:

    It’s complete bollocks. The weather may change to encourage plant life to grow but there will be an extra 500 to 1000 million Africans, with their ever burgeoning population, burning it all down for cooking fuel.

    Like


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