July 4th, 2012

Murdoch Men Mystified By News Corp Split

Guido hears that Rupert Murdoch’s decision to separate News Corporation’s money-making arm from its publishing arm left senior employees completely in the dark as to what lies in store for the future of the company. Chatting to News Corp employees last night, Guido was told chaos is reaching such a stage that hacks are only half joking when they say they have had to establish shadow newsrooms where the ultimate scoop is finding out whether or not they will be keeping their jobs. Talk about rogue reporters…

Guido also put it to them that News Group, the UK newspaper wing of the business, doesn’t pay any tax. The denial was pretty damning:

Look, The Sun is the only paper that makes a profit, The Times loses money every day of the week. It’s pretty hard to pay any tax when you’re haemorrhaging money like that. The print media is on the way out, for sure.”

Did someone say dead tree press?


30 Comments

  1. 1
    Dead tree press says:

    We are dead.

  2. 2
    For fucks sake says:

    ask brown

  3. 3
    Tobias Flangelflapper says:

    Is the Daily Star on Sunday made from dead trees? Or horseshit?

  4. 4

    order-order is the new Times.

  5. 5
    Tweet of the Year says:

  6. 6
    Selohesra says:

    That’s different it has boobs in it. Why do you think Sun/Star sell more than Times/Gaurdian. Rushbridger could turn around his sales with a few artistic flap shots or a centre spread.

  7. 7
    Sir William Waad says:

    It is probably preparation for Murdoch to sell the newspaper part of his empire.

  8. 8
    annette curton says:

    100% re-cycled Andrex.

  9. 9
    Howdy says:

    Sir William, where you been? Seems like eons since you’ve posted.

  10. 10
    Lord Justice Leveson says:

    So I’m wasting my time then?

  11. 11
    Anonymous says:

    In other news, Dennis McShane will not be prosecuted. How can this squirly fucker get away with fiddling his expenses in such an obvious case and not get his collar felt?

    Time for your crosshairs Guido – you have to save us from seeing and listening to this midget gobshite parading himself across our tv screens again.

  12. 12
    Border Terrier says:

    Keep it going Rupert – you are a star.

    Down with those dismal shits at the Auto Trader subsidiary.

  13. 13
    Trebles All Round says:

    You’re still getting paid aren’t you?

  14. 14
    Telefishion says:

    Pot and Kettle ?

  15. 15
    Lord Justice Leveson says:

    Mr Jay has stolen the show.

  16. 16
    Dry Heave says:

    Even Pollys?

  17. 17
    ed martin says:

    would you tell them anything?

  18. 18
    Mitt Romney says:

    We used to call it “Creative Destruction” when I ran Bain Capital; you get rid of what’s not really important to your core money-making operation, but still try to get some value for the spin-off properties, if you can. (Lefties call it “asset-stripping” and “worker oppression,” but who gives a flyin’ fuck what they think anyway– it’s always the same old nonsense, they’d rather all the workers be let go when the company ultimately fails, so they can become “revolutionaries.”)

  19. 19
    AC1 says:

    Anti-semitic c’unt! First they came for the bankers, then they came for the judges, then they came for the media moguls, then they came for the pill-peddling quacks, then they came for the dual national friends of Izzy politicians, then they Ah fuck it! No one believes this shit! Do I still get paid?

  20. 20
    ed martin says:

    Jays are an acquisitive breed

  21. 21
    will says:

    you have not read the guardian lately. Its getting more like a left wing debating society down the uni pub. quite a few of the articles look like that interns have put them together. The coulumnists (sic) are getter worse and more london centric. todays big debate is why students with 2.1 degrees cant get jobs (maybe its because labour created so many of them).

    The guardian is on a downward slope, i bet if you took out sales to libraries and other NGO’s and other left wing organisations. the actual readership is about 150,000 per day

  22. 22
    will says:

    You have to laugh at holier than thou newspaper being located in the caymans and it profit making subsidery being owned by private equity. you could not make it up

  23. 23
    will says:

    Mitt at least private equity is honest about what it does unlike papers like the guardian.

  24. 24

    When it comes to News Corps, as the old saying goes: ‘ there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened!. Quite!

  25. 25
    JH says:

    the actual readership is about 150,000 per day

    I’d probably say it was more like half that.

    Most newspapers are getting a spanking, but the Guardian moreso because like all socialist vanity projects, it only lasts as long as Daddy is paying the bills.

  26. 26
    Snitch and Snatch says:

    Hee Hee Hee.

    Libor scandal is taking the heat off me!

  27. 27
    Well, wooden it? says:

    Woodenit B luvverly if Murdo bought over the Auto Trader! Make some cash and stuff the Grundian once and for all…

  28. 28
    Sir William Waad says:

    Spot of shooting with my old chum Pieter van Dongen at his estate in Namaqualand.

  29. 29
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    You’re a bit early – Spring in Namaqualand is the best time in God’s own country.

  30. 30
    keredybretsa says:

    Would you buy a second-hand newspaper from this man?


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