July 4th, 2012

Met Police Say MPs Can Claim for Fake Offices

Denis MacShane has had his police investigation dropped. It was triggered in October 2010 after the Parliamentary authorities suspected him of fraud due to the £125,000 in rent that he claimed for a constituency office that turned out to be the grotty garage at the end of his garden. He also put in a plethora of invoices for translation services, paid in cash. To his brother Edmund Matyjaszek. 

Guido suspected this announcement would be coming after he was tipped that the specialist crime cops that investigated MPs expenses had all been transferred to Operation Weeting and the associated investigations. MacShane will not get the opportunity to ever clear his name in court, instead the enduring image that remains in the public mind will be this:

No further questions Your Honour…


  1. 1
    Dead tree press says:

    Crime does pay!


  2. 2
    Mike Litorus says:

    It’ll just have to be the piano wire then.

    Smarmy little t u r d.

  3. 3
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    I want a full, forensic, judicial Inquiry !

  4. 4
    Rab C Nesbitt (dec) says:

    like fuck. I hope he gets strung up. the devious Hunt.

  5. 5
    johnwardmedway says:

    As they might well say in Ireland: “There’s just a Wee ting getting in the way of this investigation…”

  6. 6
    The Filth (a division of Murdoch Enterproses, regd. in The Caymans) says:

    Too fucking right it does, shithead! What you gonna do about it?

  7. 7
    Why not? says:

    Private prosecution?

  8. 8
    Only in the Graun says:

    Oh what?

    I fucking despair.

    Why should people live honest and decent lives when a no-mark like like McShame gets away with this.

    I have run a small business for 30+ years and I know if I had transgressed by even the smaller amount on tax of VAT they would have nailed me to the wall.

    One law for me, another much more lenient one for McShame and his pals.

    The corruption in this country is beginning to stink.

  9. 9
    Raving Loon says:

    If you are a member of the public steals, you go to prison.

    If an MP steals, they just have to hand the stolen goods back and say sorry. Maybe not even that if you’re lucky.

    Sound about right.

  10. 10
    MrAngry61 says:

    Presumably McShame can now rejoin the Labour party again and accept the parliamentary party whip.

    I wouldn’t even put it past him to be re-elected by the brain dead voters in his constituency.

  11. 11
    Only in the Graun says:

    mucho typos ‘cos v. angry!

  12. 12
    Maximus says:

    Too filthy for The Filth.

  13. 13
    nellnewman says:

    Isn’t this the same MP who spends most of his time in a luxury paris apartment and never answers constituency enquiries?

  14. 14
    Council Officer says:

    May be they can’t do him for fraud but leaving the Wheelie bin out on the wrong day will carry a stiffer penalty.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    Imagine the sanctimonious and pompous air he will now adopt. Even more than before…

  16. 16
    ed martin says:

    it was a gift

  17. 17
    Dave says:

    Look, either you have £250k or you haven’t. Shut the fuck up.

  18. 18
    Nick says:

    One for the TPA if the Met is frit?

  19. 19
    Anonymous says:

    No, that’s ‘Sir’ Stuart Bell

  20. 20
    Dead tree press says:

    Thats Sir Stuart Bell i think

  21. 21
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    It’s a storm in a teacup.

  22. 22
    Afghanistan Banana Stand says:

    So us tax payers who were robbed now won’t get the opportunity to see that greasy slimeball swing.
    Oh, and no doubt he’ll get to keep OUR money.



  23. 23
    Only in the Graun says:

    The ‘elite’ (politicians, media big-wigs, bankers) are truly taking the piss now.

    What do we do?

    Vote or get some fucking rope?

    I’m normally a placid person but events of late have got me well and truly angry.

  24. 24
    Bob Diamante says:


  25. 25
    tory boys never grow up says:

    And lets not forget Tory Vice Chair Michael Fallon MP claiming 10% of his 1st home expenses because he worked from home some of the time. Try and do get that past the HMRC’s “wholly, exclusively and necessarily” test if you are on PAYE next time you do some work from home!

  26. 26
  27. 27
    Raving Loon says:

    Piss off! Where’s my in/out vote on the EU, Dave?

  28. 28
    Mupert Rurdoch says:

    Something creepy, maybe evil, about MacShane.

  29. 29
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Better new’s Barclays say’s thay have recordings of telephone conversations between BOE and themselves, but are not releasing them…yet.

  30. 30
    just sayin says:

    Where is Gordon Brown???

  31. 31
    nellnewman says:

    OT Sorry but it is being said that bobdiamond has a tape recording of the BoE/Barclays call re libor rate. Any chance you can get hold of it Guido?

  32. 32
    Anonymous says:

    Is that true??

  33. 33
    nellnewman says:

    In the Ecuadorian Embassy seeking asylum.

  34. 34
  35. 35
    nellnewman says:

    Yes posted below sorry didn’t see you.

    All over Twitter now so possibly very true. One wonders what else he might have? And whether others in other banks were contacted by BofE/senior whitehall officials and whether they’ll be prepared in due course to name names and spill beans.

    Ho Hum.

  36. 36
    Only in the Graun says:

    You can’t let go of your LEFT IS RIGHT and RIGHT IS WRONG mentality can you?

    There is no LEFT and RIGHT anymore – it’s the elites and the rest of us.

    They call themselves ‘progressives’ but all they want to do it grind the face of the ordinary man and woman into the dirt while they live high on the hog on our hard-earned.

    These scumbags are relentlessly represented by the useful idiots who pen columns in the Guardian and the Independent (sic) and script the BBC and C4 news.

    When are we going to wake up to this and do something?

  37. 37
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Really? They’re that fussy in Britain? Bizarre.

  38. 38
    genghiz the kahn says:

    1313: Baroness Vadera, who yesterday said she had “no recollection” of talking to Paul Tucker about Libor, is now more categorical: “No I didn’t speak to Paul Tucker or anyone at the Bank of England about the rate setting of Libor. I didn’t speak to Paul Tucker about Libor.”

    Baroness Vadera, a former investment banker, was one of Gordon Brown’s closest economic advisers.

    1314: She explains her previous comment: “I’m afraid I was at an airport going through security when I was asked that question yesterday.”

    1318: On the previous government’s concern about Libor, Baroness Vadera says: “I can only speak for myself. I can’t speak for others in government. Of course Libor was a concern. There’s nothing wrong with concerning yourself with access to credit. It’s the job.”

    Vadera on the phone passing through airport security – must be the lame excuse of the day.

  39. 39
    Anonymous says:

    Bob’s arrived with a big smile on his face…

  40. 40
  41. 41
    Rat's arse says:

    Nearly ready nell. I expect a few ignorant Leiber gits will just shout a lot as they really are pig-ignorant, and wish to deflect any criticism from McDoom, Bollox & Scooper-Balls.

  42. 42
    Big Bob says:

    I lurve Barclays, I really really lurve Barclays….

    She’s got a preddy preddy face….

  43. 43
    nellnewman says:

    That’s because he lives in luxury at our expense in Paris.

  44. 44
    The Geordie Lawer says:

    Rupert Murdoch, odious though he may be, has never been convicted (or even accused) of breaking any law.

    Unlike McShame.

    Just saying, like.

  45. 45
    Rat's arse says:

    My God ‘Bins’ with all McShame’s fiddling, you’d think he could afford better than that!
    What’s he doing with all his ill-gotten gains?

  46. 46
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Shit, is big bad Bob running scared.

  47. 47
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Why does he have a different last name than his brother? – signed Confused Canadian reader.

  48. 48
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Paris, no. Ignoring the average constituent– well, they ALL do that.

  49. 49
    The Sleeper says:

    Diamond clearly trying not to answer the question about Regulator pressure on him to resign…

    Hmmmm…..He’s got some pure dynamite that he could set off,if he wished so.

  50. 50
    Big Bob says:

    Patience, my son

  51. 51
    The Geordie Lawyer says:

    Oh you better believe it Mister Canadian Cat.

    If the ‘authorities’ find you have put ‘waste that could have been recycled’ (like a beer bottle) into the ‘non-recyclable-waste’ wheely bin, they will hunt you down and fine you (and put a special little tick-mark next to your address in ‘the records’).

    Where I live, they actually employ imigrannts (no English man or woman would do it) to sift through random bin bags looking for ‘contraband’ recyclable items in the normal rubbish. Bin fascists!

    If you think I’m making this up, you’re wrong.

  52. 52
    The Sleeper says:

    His demeanour is of one who has a great deal that he could say,but is reluctant to …..

    …..for the time being.

    Just want to hear those magical words…Brown,Balls and the good Baroness!!

  53. 53

    Nice to see high ethical standards from those in public office.

  54. 54
    Pickled Wizard says:

    Because even his brother does not want to be associated with him

  55. 55
    AC1 says:

    Lawmakers, are Lawbreakers.

  56. 56
    Big Bob says:

    Here we go – what is meant by Whitehall?

  57. 57
    Guide to Polish Idioms says:

    Re McShame. Poles call it ‘kombinować ‘. Usually accompanied with a serpentine twisting of the hand.

    It refers to a kind of illicit dealing and fly resourcefulness -ironically conceived and perfected in the iron-curtain era when some circumvention of the privations imposed by the glorious socialist motherland was required.

  58. 58
    AC1 says:

    Green, the new fascism.

  59. 59
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Will Bob be re-called to the “official” enquiry, that could explain his reticence to spill the beans now.

  60. 60
    rick says:

    Neither. The pols have discovered the English are too lethargic to do anything about anything. V depressing.

  61. 61
    The Geordie Lawyer says:

    I like the Poles (when in their own country).

    They definitely have an accurate and poigniant way describing things.

  62. 62
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Holy f**k. And they have to pay all those garbage police. It does sound kind of “authoritarian”.

  63. 63

    It’s the old facism really -Germany was the birth place of Green Politics, embraced wholeheartedly by the man behind “Kraft durch Freude” – I Scheiße you not!

  64. 64
    Martin Day says:

    “The Tories are bankrolled by the Banks”

    How very true and perceptive of Ed Miliband.

  65. 65
    nellnewman says:

    Perhaps he’s keeping his powder dry.

  66. 66
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    His brother had a Polish name. But not him.

  67. 67
    nellnewman says:

    That doesn’t exactly explain why labour mismanagement let this banking crisis develop on their watch unless you’re suggesting they did it to spite the tories.

  68. 68
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Pity he isn’t so perceptive about Labour being bankrolled by the unions, aka the public.

  69. 69

    I remember, not so long ago, somewhere in Norwich I believe, a council started fitting microchips to the bins to snoop on what was being put in – a hammer, screwdriver or magnet put paid to most, and public outcry did for the rest.

    Unelected officials, sucking at the public teat – the sheer unadulterated belief in their entitlement is breathtaking.

  70. 70
    The Geordie Lawyer says:

    It’s been like that since 1918 really.

    We will bravely die for our country when the call to arms comes, but we can’t get off our lazy fat arses when the owners of the country are driving us into a life of penuary and an authoritarian police state.

    Welcome to the wonderful multi-culti future of Britain where the ordinary people live as slaves on welfare or minimum wage while the rich get richer and richer and richer beyond their wildest dreams. It’s a hurtling race to the end. The rich don’t care as they have the cushion of wealth and they won’t be robbed, or stabbed, or have to live in hell because of their Somali ‘neighbours’.

  71. 71
    gildedtumbril says:

    There are those who do not believe in conspiracies, even when one kicks them in the balls.
    This is a conspiracy, pure and simple. All associated with it need incarceration. They are ALL thieving bastards. Malfeasance should be ranked with treason and awarded the same penalty.COMMON LAW dictates the penalty.We must revert to Common Law.Until that happens we continue to have the piss taken by these greasy spivs and traitors.Let us face it, these bastards think it is a done deal. They have sold us up, down and across the river from both sides. (That would be the Rhine).They will learn to their cost in the ever nearer future.

  72. 72
    MrAngry61 says:

    I can’t wait to see if Andy Love is going to ask any questions – he’s a clueless donkey & it’s mystifying how he got on the select committee…

  73. 73
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Everything Labour did was to spite the tories, and the indigenous populace. Remember “rubbing the rights nose in diversity”.

  74. 74
    do me a favour says:

    Cooper-Balls flipped their home expenses three times.
    They proved they were crap at managing the country’s economy while in power, but they’re experts at maximising their own finances.

  75. 75

    In keeping with the pseudonym though!

  76. 76
    Anonymous says:

    So the fucking thieving scum bag gets away with it……………i

  77. 77
    Big Bob says:

    “Shriti was very involved…”

  78. 78

    Anglicised his name, I guess? We are so prejudiced in the UK, you know – we even take the piss out of gingers.

  79. 79
    The Sleeper says:

    Beeboid drone Robin Brant comments…

    “Twenty minutes in and it’s fair to say Mr Diamond does not appear to be a confident, well prepared witness”

    I’d say he doesn’t understand Americans…generally at this level they are very cautious and careful with their words.

    He sounds pretty much on top of it to me.

  80. 80
    Anonymous says:

    Agree…although he’s going round the houses a bit too much.

  81. 81
    just saying says:

    Millibandwagon’s claim that the public want a judicial enquiry is laughable and shows how desperate Labour is. The BBC even claimed a poll in The Sun proved public opinion backed this option!
    The public want this mess investigated asap, not expensively dragged out for months like Leveson.
    And despite being asked repeatedly by Cameron at PMQ’s, Millibland failed to answer the crucial question as to whether he’d co-operate with a parliamentary enquiry should Labour lose tomorrow’s Commons vote.

  82. 82
    Red Ed's non-predator union bosses says:

    Whereas we bankroll, instruct, direct and threaten the libor party.

  83. 83
    Loungelizard says:

    Can we expect a man in sandals clutching a cream pie to arrive anytime soon?

  84. 84
    The BBC says:

    Look. It’s very simple..


    Got that?


  85. 85

    Most don’t want to grind anybodys face into anything – they don’t care or understand enough to bother with putting in the effort. You anoy them – they’ll pay lawyers to turn your life into a paper trail of hell.

    It’s the same lethargy as the rest of the UK, but with the added buffer of money to lift them away from the real repercussions.

  86. 86
    Anonymous says:

    get down the dole office and Sign On You Crazy Diamond

  87. 87
    Anonymous says:

    Ah – so Barclays was always in the top 4 submittted LIBOR rates, so their rate was excluded, anyway.

    So, their rate’s didn’t make any difference…

  88. 88
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    If higher libore rates would have put Barclay’s among the banks needing re-capitilising, it would have been in their interest to lower libore as well, meaning they were part of the process, and unlikely to drop themselves in it.

  89. 89
    Boing! says:

    Did he also have a four sprung technique?

  90. 90
    The Geordie Lawyer says:

    Yep Cat, this is all true.

    They pay these poor souls to sift through our rubbish (garbage).

    I became aware of this fact because one of my pro-bono clients was employed to do just that.

    Labour-controlled council – almost goes without saying.

  91. 91
    Lard Pressclott - Laughing Policeman in waiting says:

    Fookin’ hope so. I’m starvin’ again.

  92. 92
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    I’m sure you and the libor party will remind us frequently and emphatically.

  93. 93
    The Sleeper says:

    Am I sensing that Diamond is beginning to boil,and could blow his top shortly?

  94. 94
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Some one’s got to take the fall for this, and if Bob isn’t careful it will be him. remuneration package gone, pension gone, plus clawbacks.

  95. 95
    Anonymous says:

    The fix is in. There’ll be plenty of insinuation but I confidently predict nothing to finger Vadera, BOE or Nulabour. Diamond will take his money and run.

  96. 96
    The Geordie Lawyer says:

    I might add…

    Chap said that if he found 3 ‘contraband’ items from different households per diem then the fines less court costs would pay his meger wages for a week.

    That’s the Great British Economy in action for you.

  97. 97
    Denis MacShameless says:

    Tell Bob to become a Libor MP. You’re untouchable then.

  98. 98
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    It looks like he’s trying to pin the blame on his traders, despicable.

  99. 99
    The Sleeper says:

    Jesus…Liebor George Mudie asks questions, but won’t let him reply.

    These Committee members just love their 15 minutes of fame don’t they??

  100. 100
    casstrickland says:

    Too right brother, this is red rosette on chimpanzee territory. Rotherham has a long tradition of Labour fiddles. Shamelss MPs and councillors, more pilgrims than Rome, and still the thick twits vote Labour ‘It’s the party of the working man’


    Look at


    for the things they get up to

  101. 101
    The Geordie Lawyer says:

    Sid, I deal with it everyday.

    Your life in the UK will be hell unless you have enough money to sheild yourself.

    I was looking at moving me and my family to some sunny EU destination but it’s all going to happen there too – thanks to the evil dwarf Von Rumpoy and his cronies.

    New Zealand is filling up. Where next? Scotts hut in Antarctica?

  102. 102
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    A fish rots from the head down.

  103. 103
    Fish says:


    People all over the world will be watching the ‘best’ of our parliamentarians at work…and think no wonder the UK is a basket case.

    They’re useless.

  104. 104
    Alan Ladd says:

    An expenses claim is a tool, Marian; no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. An expenses claim is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that.

  105. 105
    Steve Lloyd. says:

    Any triumphant tweeting from Labour yet, or is it a tad to early.

  106. 106
    tory boys never grow up says:

    If I had said McShane was right then you might have a point – I haven’t and he isn’t!

  107. 107

    So listening to some tosser’s voicemail is far more serious than defrauding the taxpayer of thousands of pounds? More coppers investigating Murdoch than a mass murder enquiry. The Met should be hanging their heads in shame.

    How can the Met management complain of fewer coppers on the streets due to the “Evil Torycutz” when they can spare 175+ officers on this Weeting witch hunt?

    What a load of bollocks and does nothing but drag Plod’s reputation even lower!

  108. 108
    John Bercow says:

    In an asylum seeking el Ecudorean Embassy surely?

    (Spellcheckers have no sense of humor.)

  109. 109

    May be Plod has set a precedent here. Anyone arrested for fraud can make have the legitimate defence that since Plod let McShane off the hook, despite all the evidence, then they obviously believe there’s no crime being committed.

    My advice for anyone who’s questioned by Plod is to say nothing but “McShane” to anything they ask them. Admit nothing.

  110. 110
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Scott’s Hut is full and anyway, it is a national monument. Try South Georgia: the scenery is great, the weather superb in Summer, stacks of natural food lying about, sea full of fish (well, used to be, anyway). Bon Voyage.

  111. 111
    I can't be arsed to think up another new pseudonym says:


  112. 112
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Keeping them in the two bins outside his office. You know Google Earth Street View makes sens.

  113. 113
    Business Cat (Specializing in yarns, Cdn owned & op) says:

    Where I live, you have pay to have your garbage hauled away. Even if you drive it to the dump yourself, there’s a fee. But recycling is free. That’s a low-cost incentive. Britain sounds a bit, er, odd in some areas.

  114. 114
    tomfiglio says:

    Couldn’t agree more. And there’s a new generation of them on the way up, all knees and elbows as they scrabble for the chance to park their fat arses on the benches in the HoP or – oh, heaven! – stick their snouts into the overflowing Brussels trough. Rotherham used to be a proud, bustling town with a sense of civic pride. Look at it now.

  115. 115
    keredybretsa says:

    More let’s have more.

  116. 116
    Marion the cat says:

    Don’t even think of it, you are only fooling yourself. Every man has his price of silence, for instance mine is a lot less that Mr Diamond’s. With many millions at stake, yeh.

  117. 117
    Stobrith says:

    If the police can decide that the man is not guilty of fraud why the hell do we need to have all these highly remunerated judges, barristers, lawyer, soliciters etc.

  118. 118
    Fay Koffences says:

    Our host headlines it as ‘Fake Offences” but in my book there is nothing fake about real embezzlement [or whatever the legal term is]

  119. 119
    Mimbly says:

    Just because Murdoch hasn’t been convicted doesn’t necessarily mean he shouldn’t be!

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