July 3rd, 2012

Salmond’s Joan’s Darling Gaffe

Alex Salmond’s favourite columnist Joan MacAlpine MSP was off on one this morning about new union poster boy Alistair Darling. In a particularly unhinged rant, MacAlpine lambasted the former Chancellor for “being asleep at the wheel while the bankers screwed the rest of us”. That’s all very well, but poor old Joan then got slightly ahead of herself:

Quite why he thinks he has the right to come to Scotland and lecture us about how to run our affairs is breathtaking in its arrogance.”

Perhaps because the fact that Darling is, er, Scottish…


187 Comments

  1. 1
    Oh says:

    Opps .

    Like

    • 13
      Diane Abbott says:

      She’s a racist

      Like

      • 19
        yeah, right.... says:

        Not only is Darling scottish, but so were the banks which, according to this epitome of devolved regions political talent, ‘screwed the rest of us’.

        Royal Bank of Scotland. Halifax Bank of Scotland. There’s a clue there somewhere sweetheart, if you look hard enough.

        Like

        • 34
          Lord Stansted says:

          You’re fogetting Coutts & Co. Wonderful name, though.

          http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/obituaries/finance-obituaries/9370937/Sir-David-Money-Coutts.html

          Like

        • 36
          Cream Puff says:

          Idiot, Darling is actually English, try doing some research before opening your back passage
          In addition HBOS or Halifax Bank of Scotland is , or was headquartered in – HALIFAX, West Yorkshire. When Bank of Scotland merged with the Halifax Building Society, they decided to have the HQ in Halifax, with a reduced staff at the former BOS HQ in Edinburgh
          The HALIFAX part was the one that dragged down HBOS through its dodgy lending.
          RBS, IS headquartered in Edinburgh, but the dodgy dealings were actually done by hedge fund managers in LONDON

          Like

          • smoggie says:

            Darling is a Scot as his parents, even though he was born in London.

            If a cow is born in a stable, is it a horse?

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Sorry to burst your fantasy pal but HBoS was based at The Mound, Fucking Edinburgh (BoS’s old head office) as were all the board. Specifically Peter Cummings…

            http://www.ianfraser.org/peter-cummings-aladdins-cave/

            Cummings joined the Bank of Scotland as a tea boy in 1973 and worked his way up the ranks.

            HBoS was fucked by BoS and its head of Corporate.

            You have been woefully misinformed.

            Like

          • Jockypoopong McPlop says:

            fucking FRISPs fucking the rest of us over once again BROON, Darling, and the rest of the feckwits. Devolve them now and put a stop the rest of the Uk having to bail them out.

            Like

          • Some Clown says:

            Alex Salmond disagreed with you:

            http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/7621153.stm

            Interestingly your claim that it was the mortgage losses that dragged the bank under are a falsehood – it was overall collapse of libor’s usually low rates spiking to unrealistic levels that prevented one of the most major aspects of banking, inter bank lending, from continuing as normal. This lead to issues with most banks and not just Halifax. Bank of Scotland were just as badly off and either bank if run separately would almost certainly have failed as well. As the two were merged and head quartered in Scotland and run under BOS UK banking license there is more blame to be attached to BOS than Halifax in many ways.

            Like

          • Owain Glyndwr says:

            Do you get your economic aurguments from the Beano?

            Like

          • Owain Glyndwr says:

            Comment was for cream puff

            Like

          • Jgm2 has a secret cause something is clearly bothering him says:

            OFFS ! Any excuse and the racist bigots are out in droves once more. Really Guido you should rename your blog ” tittle tattle and recreational bigotry”

            Like

    • 23
      The Bongler says:

      No lessons from any Scots on financial responsibility please.

      Royal Bank of SCOTLAND
      Halifax Bank of SCOTLAND

      …and isn’t Barclay a Scottish name?

      They can stick their neeps and tatties where the sun don’t shine!

      Like

    • 51
      Darling says:

      Screw her !!..you must be……..

      Like

    • 107
      Ampers says:

      What a miserable face. It’s what I call a Socialist face, she must be ex-Labour.

      I wouldn’t even take her with yours dear reader!

      Like

  2. 2
    Selohesra says:

    Ginger pubes?

    Like

  3. 3
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Miserable-looking munter.

    Please, Jockland, oh please just vote for your independance and get off our backs. And take your ban’kru’pt financial services sector with you.

    Like

    • 5
      Wee Dave says:

      Not all Scots want out of the Union pal.

      And secondly, our “bankrupt financial sector” is also your “bankrupt financial sector.”

      Wee Dave

      Like

      • 42
        Iron Bru says:

        Second that. They’re a few lodge laddies who would have no love for the Nats.

        Like

        • 68
          Cream Puff says:

          Thankfully the Loyal Orange Order are in the minority in Scotland, apart from in Glasgow, where they get the soft touch treatment from the Labour council

          Like

          • Owain Glyndwr says:

            You are a jockinese, go on admit it, you are not scared to mention your heritage cream puff

            Like

      • 63
        jgm2 says:

        Not according to Salmond. It seems that our ‘bank*r*u*pt financial sector’ is…. our ‘bank*r*u*pt financial sector’.

        Just like the Maximum Imbecile. When all is going well it’s because the Scottish banks are world leaders and Scottish bankers are so fucking clever. When it goes tits up – it’s somebody else’s fault.

        Like

      • 94
        Uncle Knobby says:

        Oh I see, when it’s a debt it’s ours but when it’s North sea oil it’s yours, greedy penny pinching tw@s

        Like

      • 133
        Owain Glyndwr says:

        Phuck all to do with wales

        Like

    • 17
      Gonk says:

      You wouldn’t want to go on extended walking holiday with her, would you ?

      Like

    • 155
      pissed off voter says:

      if you feel that strongly you could always make a donation to the SNP’s independence fund.

      Like

  4. 4
    Wee Dave says:

    Joan McAlpine is the most gaffe-prone of MSPs. Her track record is astounding and her hatred of all things Union really does know no bounds. She is a hate-filled individual yet some bonkers people up here in the chilly North believe her and her party would be good for Scotland!

    Her own arrogance is breathtaking.

    Wee Dave

    Like

    • 15
      genghiz the kahn says:

      She is level headed with chip on both shoulders.

      Like

    • 35
      Roscoe Rules says:

      ‘Hatred of all things Union’ except the European Union I bet.

      Like

      • 74
        jgm2 says:

        That is the best part of the S&P manifesto. Wrapping themselves in the flag. Wanking themselves senseless over Mel Gibson DVDs. Aye, we’re oppressed by the fucking English so we are. We DEMAND our FREEDOM!!!.

        But they want to be part of the EU.

        Some might say that their blind hatred of the English was … errr … blinding them to the lunacy of throwing off one yoke in order to replace it with another.

        Like

        • 145
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          The Irish are similarly affected and similarly terrified of not having the arms of the boys from Brussels smothering their freedom or dipping into their pockets.

          Like

    • 138
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      But the support is mostly around, glasgow, edinburgh?

      Like

  5. 6
    Evil nurses should be in prison says:

    This gives the lie to the longstanding myth that nurses are all angels. In a just society, these nurses would be imprisoned but they won’t be. Their union will see to it they get ample compensation just for being subjected to an investigation.

    A man dying of dehydration in an NHS hospital phoned police from his bed begging for help after being refused water by staff, an inquest was told yesterday. And after 22-year-old Kane Gorny died, as his family clung to his lifeless body, a nurse asked them whether they had “finished” and could she “bag him up?”

    Like

    • 25
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      Ah, the dear old NHS. It’s a national treasure, innit. Copied by nations all around the world. Such as..

      uhm..

      Like

    • 47
      Lord Stansted says:

      “Heath professionals” – a joke name.

      Like

    • 88
      Dr Jeckyll says:

      Well what d’you expect .
      It was St George’s in Tooting for God’s sake — not the London Clinic !!

      Although thinking about it at the lattermentioned institution they probably have a waste disposal system — saves on black bin liners and mortuary expense thus maximising profit for the partners..

      Like

      • 148
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        St. Georges?

        Isn’t that Pilgrim’s manor? The nurse probably wated to get off early to go to a Wagamama bonding party with Pilgrim where they could discuss how “cuts were killing the NHS” over taxpayer funded drinks and noodles.

        Like

  6. 7
    Spartacus says:

    before ruining what was left of the GB economy, he bu55ered up edinberg’s road system and had all the road signs taken down. parking fines greatest in uk. good ole alister.

    thank god darling is going back to scotland.

    will no beard disappear like his predecessor? Hope so.

    Like

  7. 8
    Peter A Bell says:

    Ethnicity is irrelevant. Unless you’re doing a bit of propaganda for the BNP. And Darling is not Scottish anyway. He’s British. That’s the choice he’s made. He has chosen the British state before his own country.

    BTW – If you want an example of a genuine “unhinged rant”, check out Alan “Poor Old Cockers” Cochrane’s demented offerings in The Torygraph. Truly the rabid face of British nationalism.

    Like

    • 28
      Anonymous says:

      so your opinion is more important than any body elses?

      or r u just another fucking big head , telling everybody else how to think and behave!

      fuck off!

      Like

    • 49
      smoggie says:

      So apparently only Scottish nationalists can decide what happens to Scotland? No vote fixing there then.

      Like

      • 99
        Uncle Knobby says:

        They want independance with the rest of us still bailing them out…. fuck off Hunts

        Like

        • 111
          jgm2 says:

          Since most RBS jobs are based in Fucking Scotland the obvious thing to do immediately after an independence vote is to demand payment in full or England pulls the plug.

          I’ll also be very surprised if a whole bunch of legacy Halifax accounts don’t get closed and moved to a bank headquartered in England.

          Like

  8. 9
    Anonymous says:

    cameron and his tory party should know that his mouthing off about an EU referendum(just like blair) changes nothing. We wouldn’t believe any of the 3 party leaders even if it was a binding legal contract. We know they would worm their way out of it some how.

    I will still vote UKIP, even if it lets liebour in. That would be down to dave and his tory party, not me. I’ve always voted tory, but daves tory party definitely isn’t a tory party, its just a leftie leaning liberal party!

    Like

    • 144
      Devalue the UK - vote UKIP says:

      Vote UKIP! Loony isn’t the word!

      In nineteen years, it’s had nine leaders; not different ones – it recycles its rejects. And that doesn’t include Kilroy-Silk, the George Galloway thinkalike (I’m a celebrity,…) who joins in order to lead and leave. (Leads Shits and Leaves). Veritas – oh, no. he’s left that too. Then there’s Farage – he’s come. No he’s gone. Wrong, he’s back again! Whoops, crash.

      http://www.ukip.org/content/latest-news/855-call-for-kilroy-to-step-down-as-mep

      But if we look at some of the other idiots who are its senior members…

      One of its many past leaders is Lord Pearson (expenses crook and house flipper). http://www.ukip.org/content/latest-news/1338-lord-pearson-new-ukip-leader

      Another Deputy Leader is Lord Monkton, who calls himself a member of the House of Lords (he isn’t). He doesn’t believe in Climate Change (as of itself not totally stupid); his disbelief is not from his academic study but because God wouldn’t let His chosen people suffer. (In passing, he thinks evolution is also wrong, as do his American creationist sidekicks). He further thinks magic pills from his own pharmaceutical company can cure AIDS, herpes, multiple sclerosis and Graves! Hence UKIP is – IIRC – the only party that would make taxpayers pay for health measures that don’t work, Quote “UKIP will continue to support homeopathy through the NHS”. (A Healthcare Policy for an Independent Britain, Policy Statement March 2010, UK INDEPENDENCE PARTY)
      http://www.ukip.org/content/latest-news/1364-lord-monckton-on-climate-change (from that bastion of sense RT)

      Another wannabe leader (stood against Farage) is Winston McKenzie (famous for sharing a name with John Lennon). Sometime member of the Liberals, then Labour, then Independent at Brent, then Veritas, then Conservative, then Veritas again to stand as leader, then Unity (as leader) and finally(?) UKIP (failed Leader, failed Mayor candidate).

      http://www.ukip.org/content/latest-news/1895-four-line-up-in-leaders-race

      UKIP – the intellectual wing of the Eurosceptic movement. [citation not necessary]. When a conservative leaves the party to join UKIP. the average IQ of UKIP goes up, and so does the average IQ of the Conservative party.

      Like

      • 157
        Trahison des Clercs says:

        Devalue the UK? What value? The voice of the Chicken can be heard there .

        Like

  9. 10
    Youse tek' th' high rood an' I'll tek th' low rood and I'll bankrupt Scotland afore ye says:

    Perhaps someone ought to tell her that HBoS and RBS are actually…………Scottish and that it was English taxpayers that stopped them bankrupting Jockland ?

    Like

  10. 11
    Roscoe Rules says:

    Not a big fan of Salmond and his little Scotlander party but they appear to be the only one’s really sticking it up Labours arse as to their role in the financial crisis.

    Like

    • 14
      UKIP.i.am says:

      Right.

      Ed Balls was on SKY’s Boulton & Co this lunch. Did the interviewer ask him how much he knew about Libor fixing when he was in government? Did she fack.

      Like

      • 20
        Ah! Monika says:

        It’s like the dance that goes on between Vogue Magazine and it’s advertisers. They are mutually dependent for publicity.
        If you go to the concourse at a Party Conference you can see and hear the negotiations going on before they go ‘live’.
        They are parasites on each others’ backs

        Like

  11. 16
    Bruce says:

    members of the Scottish Parliament known locally as the numptorium see MPs as London based idiots.

    Like

    • 109
      We Jock poopong Mcplop says:

      So let me get this straight, we have jocks inthe UK parliamnet, we even had an unelected Jock PM fucking the country up for a while but we have no say in their tax draining excuse of a house… what bit of that is fair? We still have to pay for their SMPs wages and expenses whilst they have nationalist in our government fucking up our lives. They certian want more than their fair share.

      Like

      • 179
        James Whale says:

        North East £8,177 – 111% of UK average identifiable expenditure
        North West £7,798 – 106%
        Yorkshire and Humberside £7,188 – 98%
        East Midlands £6,491 – 88%
        West Midlands £7,065 – 96%
        Eastern £6,144 – 83%
        London £8,404 – 114%
        South East £6,304 – 86%
        South West £6,677 – 91%

        What part of Scotland is London?

        Like

        • 184
          Salmondnet says:

          Now compare a city with a city. London with Glasow say. Or you could compare a country with a country. Scotland with England say. Comparing a city with a country means nothing.

          Like

    • 120
      bald old english git says:

      In Darling';s case, actually, she’s got every right to ask why, on the basis of his performance in England, would he try and lecture Scotland on economic success …

      Like

      • 134
        jgm2 says:

        On the performance of RBS, HBoS and the Maximum Imbecile why would England look to take economic advice from Scotland?

        Like

      • 159
        Earwig O again says:

        Actually, timid Ali was taking his instructions and lessons from you know who, the noo…

        Like

  12. 18

    “In the beginning I believed. I believed in the Fuhrer.
    He gave us back the prosperity we had lost. He took us from the wilderness. He vanquished our enemies and we were powerful.

    But as events took a turn for the worse he became disturbed. When his economic invincibility had been pierced and his competence reputation exposed he became furious. Angry and deranged. Shouting at underlings, banging his fist in impotent rage at the crisis unfolding us all.
    The medication did not help. His lucid periods were fewer; his ramblings more frequent.

    I lost my faith in him, and lost my soul.

    Albert ‘Darling’ Speer.
    Reich Chancellor 2007-2010

    From the diaries – “The good lefti”- 2009

    Like

  13. 24
    smoggie says:

    She hardly looks impoverished, so when she says she’s been screwed by bankers whatever can she mean?

    Like

    • 46
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      She’s very clearly sitting in the control room of the Liberator, from Blake’s 7.

      Is that where Scotland got its parliament’s decor? Some would-be MSP was at the BBC TV Centre in London, saw someone about to throw out Orac, Zen and a bunch of Liberator seats and said, “hang on, can I have them?” And if so, how did it end up cósting umpteen million I*nglish pounds?

      Unless.. it’s a real space ship.

      Like

  14. 25
    John Tax-Fidler-Simpson says:

    Oddly, this particular tax-avoidance story doesn’t appe’ar on BBC News:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/consumertips/tax/9371754/BBC-broadcaster-John-Simpson-admits-tax-avoidance.html

    Like

    • 30
      In Reality says:

      Why should it? Taking measures to avoid paying too much tax is perfectly legal and sensible. Most of the complaints come from people who are trapped in PAYE .

      Like

      • 154
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Why should it?

        Because Simpson is of the hectoring, holier than thou, socialist persuasion, wailing endlessly about “cuts” while keeping his money away from the taxman?

        Like

    • 65
      Lord Stansted says:

      Why isn’t he getting his rocks off in Kabul like the others of his class?

      Like

    • 71
      Gonk says:

      I’m looking forward to tax revelations about the other John..Snow.
      Tax avoidance is good, hypocrisy bad.

      Like

  15. 27
    Overheard in Westminster says:

    Miliband to Cameron.

    “What time is it”

    ” Two O’Clock ”

    ” I make it two minutes past”

    Balls. ” We must have a Judge-led inquiry”

    Like

  16. 29
    moby dick says:

    darling is scottish

    but gets a flight out of scotland to westminster as fast as he can munster

    Like

    • 110
      We Jock poopong Mcplop says:

      of course he’s a Jock, you couldn’t get to that level of wankerness without being one.

      Like

  17. 31
    Cream Puff says:

    Oh dear Guido. Clearly taken the eye of the ball
    But lets get you back on track
    First Joan McAlpine was having a rant at a failed chancellor going to Scotland to lecture them on staying in the union with England, nothing to do withwhat race he is.
    Secondly, and this is the good part, you really should check your facts. Alistair Darling is actually ENGLISH. He was was born in London (thats the one in England)
    he was educated at the private Loretto School, in Musselburgh, when his parents moved to Edinburgh
    And you know what, Joan McAlpine isnt that far of the mark, as Labour are now being implicated through leaked e-mails from Baroness Vadera, former Cabinet Office minister and one of Labour’s chief economic advisers, told officials in 2008 that bringing down the rates which determine how much banks lend to each other would be ‘a major contribution to the stability of the banking system and to the health of the economy’.
    Oh dear, think you have some apologising to do and here is me think you were somehow connected with Ireland and a celtic cousin to Scotland, Obviously not.

    Like

    • 38
      Rob Roy The Hoon says:

      Nothing to do with race but then you at pains to point out he is English! Then you say you thought Guido was a “celtic cousin to Ireland”.

      What a knob you are. A celtic suprematist, Little Scotlander apologist, racist and Anglophobe.

      Like

      • 40
        Wimbledon Weigh Anchor says:

        Yeah, he’s either David Tennant or Andy Murray.

        Like

        • 45
          John Prescott says:

          Ill have a pint of Tennants and a bag of Murray mints

          Like

          • Loungelizard says:

            This woman is the absolute pits. She and her kind would with their blind stupidity destroy all that is good in Scotland. The true Scottish people will not allow it to happen. Salmond is a Dykelouper.

            Like

          • jgm2 says:

            She and her kind would with their blind stupidity destroy all that is good in Scotland.

            The M6 (southbound)?

            The airports?

            Surely not?

            Like

          • We Jock poopong Mcplop says:

            the duty free shop in edinberg is pretty good to be fair. And there is a cornish pasty stall by the bar in the main lobby selling traditional jockwegian fare.

            Like

    • 142
      Owain Glyndwr says:

      Cream Puff suggest you do not post until you take your medication and sober up

      Like

    • 160
      Trahison des Clercs says:

      Yawn. Kreme pouffe

      Like

  18. 32
    Misogynist says:

    She is typical of so many British women today. Opinionated, gobby, mean-minded and mean-mouthed, demanding to have their cake and eat it. Loads of the scowling, shrieking harridans in the soaps as “role models” for the sisterhood. The photo says it all. Not a nice person.

    So many good men have been shafted by women like this and the laws that favour them. And these women have brought up a generation of wimpish, feminised, namby-pamby femi-men.

    What’s the male equivalent of a feminist? Exactly.

    Like

  19. 33
    Ter says:

    Darling may be Scottish by birth, he may represent a Scottish constituency in Parliament, he may have one of his house in Scotland, but every bit of his being lives, eats and breathes Westminster. In spirit he left Scotland behind a long time ago. Thankfully.

    Like

    • 76
      smoggie says:

      He may wear the kilt, sporran and red wig; drink whisky by the bottle; he may breakfast on kippers and fried Mars bars; he may say, “see you, Jimmy!” to passing strangers while lying in a shop doorway in a pool of his own piss…

      but he is not Scottish

      He may spray your face with spittle when asking when asking fae the time; he may even indulge in fisticuffs with friends for no other reason than it is Saturday night; he may turn deathly white when it is his round at the bar; he may burst into tears when someone quotes Rabbie Burns or sings Floor of Scotland, but…

      he is NOT Scottish

      Like

    • 78
      Ben Doon says:

      Sounds like yer typical porridge gobbler to me

      Like

    • 152
      Sandalista says:

      Darling is Scottish by ancestry and upbringing. My Scottish cousin’s family left Scotland in 1430 and did not “return” for 500 years. As far as the family was concerned they were Scots albeit outwith Scotland. In fact Scotland and Ireland have both made a big thing of encouraging the diaspora to think of themselves and Scots or Irish and support “home”. So it seems a trifle disingenuous to claim Darling is English because he was born in London just because he holds a different opinion.

      Will we see a ruling that only “true Scots” can vote in the independence referendum? (Where a “true Scot” is defined as someone who wants an Independent Scotland.)

      Like

  20. 41
    Care in the wider community says:

    Why can we all not just get along?

    Like

    • 50
      A letter to Frau Merkel says:

      Better to ask the Germans, they keep on invading Europe and it’s left to us to sort them out.

      Like

    • 54
      Cleggie says:

      Lets all have a group hug, drink some raffia tea and praise Gaia

      Like

  21. 44
    You can not be serious says:

    Like

    • 48
      Quisling says:

      The reason I drink Diane, is to make YOU more interesting.

      Like

      • 61
        Loungelizard says:

        Cafe Culture? Drive a bulldozer through the licensing hours give everybody and their cat the right to sell alcohol then sit back and moan that it’s all Cameron’s fault.

        Like

        • 104
          Mambo Mambo says:

          Diane is too thick to realise this.

          Like

          • jgm2 says:

            Diane isn’t that stupid. She’s just not interested in the truth.

            Like

          • Nom Dom Nom says:

            jgm2

            Sorry I dispute that. Anyone who’s eyes roll to the ceiling and flicker (while mouth slightly opens) when asked a question does not have all their chairs at home.

            Unless the autoQ is on the roof

            Like

          • Mike Hunt says:

            Truth is not important, it’s the version of the truth you want circulated that gets published first that is important.

            Like

          • Sixth former says:

            She’s right though. We youngsters are drinking to forget the fcukups of our first 14 years.

            Like

      • 161
        Trahison des Clercs says:

        10 pints+

        Like

    • 55
      Stupid woman says:

      Dave has only been in power for 2 years, that is not a generation Diane. Are you trying to say no one went out drinking in the 24hr licenced premises that New Labour said were badly needed?

      Like

    • 59
      Ah! Monika says:

      Poor enough to buy alcohol.

      Like

    • 66
      Roscoe Rules says:

      And ASBO’s weren’t brought in by Labour to deal with all the anti social pissheads?
      Fuck off Abbot you C*nt

      Like

    • 69
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      I think that’s the Royal “We”. She sees whatever her frazzled little mind wants to see, whether it’s there or not.

      Like

    • 82
      Froogle says:

      Yet again government is trying to bring in legislation for something that already has legislation. Selling alcohol to the under 18s is illegal and sellers of Alcohol have to be licensed, remove their licence rather than fineing rogue traders is the way to proceed.

      Like

    • 86
      Ah! Monika says:

      Give ‘em free booze, and they’ll be dead by 25. Save a lifetime on benefits, the NHS and having to listen to Abbott for the next 20 years.

      Like

    • 113
      Make mine a crate of Red Stripe says:

      Stupid woman. Stick to tweeting about obesity under David Cameron

      Like

      • 132
        Daianne Flubber says:

        I was 7st 4lb until the Tories came to power.

        Now I’m obese!!!!
        Judge-led inquiry! Judge-led inquiry! Judge-led inquiry!

        Like

    • 140
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Costello: “What are you drinking for, Abbott?”
      Abbott: “I’m drinking to forget, Lou.”
      Costello: “Forget what, Abbott?”
      Abbott: “Y’know, I’ve forgotten already!”
      Costello: “So how come you’re still drinking, Abbott?”
      Abbott: “In case it’ll come back to me.”
      Costello: “Makes about as much sense as any of that other doubletalk you’re always giving me, like that ‘Who’s on first base’ business, I guess!”

      Like

    • 177
      James Whale says:

      Who introduced 24 hours opening?

      Like

  22. 57
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    Ugandan discussions in Holyrood heavens to betsy

    Like

  23. 62
    Gordon Brown(Live from Ed Miliband's house of Commons Office) says:

    I almost forgot.

    May I take this opportunity to wish Andy Murray the very best of luck at Wimbledon.

    Over and Out.

    Like

    • 170
      She was only the radio operator's daughter but she did it 'cos Dada did it. says:

      Correct RT procedure is to finish transmissions with the single word “Out”. “Over and out” is an amateurish, rude solecism and worthy of one who learned their radio operating technique from old black and white war films.

      Like

  24. 70
    Ah! Monika says:

    If the Dutch-cap fits….

    Like

  25. 79
    Paul says:

    Alistair Darling is actually English, born in London.

    Like

    • 149
      Dario Franchitti, race car driver and Mr Ashley Judd says:

      I’M probably more Scottish than Alistair Darling– I was born in West Lothian.

      Like

    • 150
      Dario Franchitti, race car dr!ver and Mr Ashley Judd says:

      Take two, on account of ModBot:

      I’M probably more Scottish than Alistair Darling– I was born in West Lothian>

      Like

    • 173
      Anonymous says:

      And Cliff Richard is Indian.

      Like

  26. 91
    Mel Gibson says:

    When are you fuckers going to understand…

    I AM AMERICAN

    Like

  27. 93
    Roscoe Rules says:

    If Scotland does go it’s own way can it take its share of Geordie mutants who were born as a result of Jocks shagging our livestock.

    Like

  28. 101
    Steve Miliband says:

    World First ‏@World_First

    *FRANCE TO TAX INCOME OF MORE THAN EU1 MLN AT 75%, AYRAULT SAYS

    Like

  29. 106
    Ah! Monika says:

    Read G’s twitter conversation with Aled ( above right ). Pure Gold.

    Like

  30. 136
    ToonBob... says:

    Tit heed !!

    Like

  31. 141
    County councillor says:

    Why is the county of Scotland allowed its own parliament when every other county is only allowed a county hall and perhaps a cricket ground? Is it because they are rubbish at cricket as well as football and rugby so they have to have something to make them feel almost as good as the rest of the UK. No wonder they are angry they only have one decent football club (that isn’t more financially in the shit than they will be if they get independance) and their greatest ever sportsperson plays the manly sport of… erm… tennis (anyone but Murray). Their nationa dress is a skirt, the national instrument sounds like a cat being castrated and they nicked their flag off the Cornish (as well as nicking their national dress and the agony bags off other nations). Anyway why aren’t the forced to have a ccounty council like all of the other counties of england?

    Like

  32. 143
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    County councillor, in wales we are better than you when it comes to playing rugby, our population for the whole of the country is less than 25% of the pop of london. We have our own language, culture etc, no doubt that if footall was widely played in wales we would beat you, lets face most people do.
    You go on about the national dress of the jocks but in england
    You tend to dress in baggy clothes, wear a beard and pray in a mosque. So i will leave you with that old english greeting salam alaikum

    Like

    • 146
      Her Maj says:

      But the Taffies are good subjects, not like the ungrateful Jocks and their rubbish Rudeholly place that costs us all zillions in tax to subsudise. The taffs have got soem decent footy players Giggs, Bale, Bellamy etc. They are good at rugby as well, but then again becuase non-of them work they have more time to practice.

      Like

    • 165
      Anonymous says:

      Name says it all really.You mention one sport your good at.you cant play football for shit,how many medals will be won in this years Olympics by welsh men or women. Not many unless sheep shagging is now an olympic sport.

      Like

      • 182
        Owain Glyndwr says:

        You pathetic tosser football is not our national game you phuckwit, as for the medal in the limpics you tosser we will win a few, but you tosser wales have a pop of less than 25% of london, so with all that advatage in pop to chose from, you still are crap. Go back and pray in the mosque

        Like

        • 183
          SFC says:

          now now Taffy, don’t get upset just because your nationl sport was the product of English private education. Is Sheep shagging an olympic sport? It shuld be so that the small (apparently only 25% the size of the UK’s capitol city) nations can win something. Interesting that only a couple of years ago the taffies were shit at rugbyfootball as well as every other fucking sport, they have one moment of being not bad and rub everyone elses face in it… a bit like Portsmouth FC (and they are utter wankers.)

          Like

  33. 151
    Independence Darling says:

    Darling is unlikely to keep the Scots in a union. Devolution max is what the Scots want and they are being denied it.

    Like

    • 156
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      You are deluded. All Salmond want’s to do is swap London For Berlin ( via Brussels ). A nation once again? In your dreams, a province of the E ewe is your future, with no power at all.

      Like

    • 164
      Anonymous says:

      DevoMax is not something he will get without the rest of the UK agreeing, greedy Scotish fuckwits.

      Like

    • 175
      Anonymous says:

      DevoMax = MoreThanTheirFairSharePlus

      Like

  34. 163
    Anonymous says:

    Well all the whiney “Sweaty Socks” on here will get their referendum soon enough. Please put your cross where your mouth is and vote YES to independance.

    At least the rest of us will be well rid of you and the burden on our taxpayers supporting your lazy good for nothing population.

    Then you will be free to join the EU yourselves and sponge off them like the other freeloaders hampering them down. It will spawn another acronym SPIIGS

    Like

    • 169
      English Racism says:

      ‘independence’ you Neanderthal English prick.

      Some of us honestly can’t wait to see the back of Westminster. Just for the record, its proven that Scotland contributes more to the economy than it takes, so in reality by voting for ‘independance’ Scots “… will be well rid of you and the burden on our taxpayers supporting your lazy good for nothing population”.

      Enjoy the Olympics as it will be the last thing we Scots subsidise in London.

      As for Guido – come on man… A bullshit little piece of spin and rubbish. What are you? a Labour MP?

      Like

    • 176
      James Whale says:

      http://www.scottishpolitics.org/scotching/myth.html

      See Paxman on Newsnight not knowing that London received more per capita than Wales http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Gy7f8vP2QY because he believes his prejudices and not the facts.

      115% is more than 112% JP.

      Like

  35. 166
    Shurdy Rover says:

    Bloody bigots and racists the lot of them! Thank fcuk I am English

    Like

  36. 174
    Kiwi Dipea says:

    He is not Scottish he is from Dunedin.

    Like

  37. 185
    Edward the Longshanks says:

    Scotland can fuck off. Once a beautiful country but now run by deluded racists who have covered the country in wind farms.

    Like

  38. 187
    Westview says:

    England does not have a parliament. It is the UK parliament. England does not have a Queen . She is Queen of the UK. England does not have a national anthem. God Save The Queen ,is the UK anthem. England does not have the ultimate court of justice. That resides in Europe. Even the Bank of England is a private company ! It does not even have its own native language ,unlike the celtic areas of these islands, its language and very name comes from the European tribes that invaded the Northumberland area then conquered the locals.It does have a history of being invaded and subjigated by folk from abroad. It also aquired 6 thousand square miles of North Sea assets in 1999 by quetly moving the Anglo / Scottish Maritime Boundary to the North. As the folk south of the border do not have much except Trillions of Pounds in debt ,maybe the Scots will let you keep this bit of the North Sea when we gain independence from Westminster rule.

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Media Fear and Loathing in Scotland, Labour Next | Owen Jones
UK Top 10 Influencer Political Blogs | Cision
Redwood Exposes Constitutional Vandalism | Nick Wood
No Campaign Has Been Inept | Mail
PM Faces Friday Bloodbath | Mail
Will Miliband Bottle English Devolution? | Mary Riddell
Why Pollsters Could Be Wrong | John McDermott
Cameron Faces Vote of No Confidence or Rebellion | FT
Cameron Faces Revolt Over ‘Vow’ | Sun
It’s Time to Speak for England | John Redwood
It Was Me Who Taped Howard Flight | John Woodcock


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