July 3rd, 2012

Diamond Says: ‘Hold My Dick’

The Diamond backlash wasn’t expected until tomorrow’s Treasury Select Committee, but the first blows have been struck from an unlikely source: his daughter. Nell Diamond, a twentysomething Deutsche Bank employee, has hit back at the politicians laying into her dad. In a swiftly deleted tweet, Nell told George Osborne and Ed Miliband to “HMD“, or “hold my dick“:

The photos of Nell and Bob are still up

UPDATE: Neo-Guido was at the same Kanye gig pictured above and returns from lunch to report Daddy Diamond and Nell are displaying the “Diamonds are Forever” sign.


  1. 1
    Bollochead says:

    am I first?

  2. 2
    Andrew Efiong says:

    Good for her.

    Bob Diamond’s been made to walk the plank after the Treasury and Bank of England made a mess of this, only they’re too busy covering up.

    Ed Balls should be sent into exile.

  3. 3
    tlillis4 says:

    Cameron probably thinks HMD stands for “Hug Me, Darling”

  4. 4
    Oh says:

    Good, the bankers not only guilty ones.

  5. 5
    Gordon Brown says:

    Hold my Balls….. Ed Balls.

  6. 6
    Anonymous says:

    That’s Ronald Reagan, surely?

  7. 7
    Robert Catesby says:


    (I’d smash her back door in)

  8. 8
    Dr Stantz says:

    Huh, never figured them to be Diamond Dallas Page fans.

    The more you know!

  9. 9
    sweet caroline says:

    he should worry…whats the betting he’ll be back singing with his brother neil before too long

  10. 10
    BillyBunter says:

    You should check what the means in sign language. Very appropriate.

  11. 11
    Diamond Geezer says:

    Nell, darling, little girls don’t have them… How much did we spend on her education?

  12. 12
    tommy5d says:

    I wouldn’t mind being her dad…

  13. 13
    Hufferpuffers glee club says:

    yvette needs to give ed a good talking to in the same way sarah did gordon in the end…over the settee until his blinkers stop twitching.

  14. 14
    Anonymous says:

    Surely that gesture means “I’m a Hunt”?

  15. 15
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    It is, without a doubt. But Ronnie is there to distract us, drawing our attention away from noticing an even more important feature of the photo: what on Earth is wrong with that girl’s nose?

  16. 16
    Terrible But True says:

    Nell… really? Cool.
    Song Sung Blue… everybody knows one.

  17. 17
    The General Public says:

    Aww what a cutie – isn’t it amazing she managed to land a cushy job at Deutsche Bank?

  18. 18
    Hip-hop, yo says:

    Neo’s into the music of Kanye West? Didn’t see that coming.

  19. 19
    Shut it, spoilt princess says:

  20. 20
    Diamond tunes says:

    Sweet Caroline is great.

    Oh, you said NELL. My mistake.

  21. 21
    keredybretsa says:

    A bit of a rough Diamond. It is impossible to name one Dishonourable Lady/ Gentleman of the House who would pack up and go just like that!!?

  22. 22
    Now here's a real diamond geezer says:

  23. 23
    no tool like an old tool says:

    She probably likes to SHD

  24. 24
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Silly little cow.

    I think Barclays were a major banking entity before Daddy came along.

    All he did was turn it into a fucking casino.

    He’ll be walking away with HUNDREDS of millions.

    Something is very wrong with this picture.

  25. 25
    Chris Huhne says:

    I will defend myself with the trusty sword of truth and shield of honesty.

  26. 26
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    No I am. Boaz.

  27. 27
    HO HO GO says:

    Mr Roger Quimbly ‏@RogerQuimbly

    Bob Diamond has been downgraded to Bob Diamante.

  28. 28
    Mildred Fish says:

    Nothing will change until this kleptocracy is removed. Such a move would entail the removal of thieves such as the “Royal” family, The Conservative Party, The Labour Party, The Lib-Dems and all the other liars and cheats. Following this, neoliberal* values must be thrown out.

    * If you don’t understand what neoliberalism is, you might want to do a bit of reading. Neoliberal has nothing to do with any UK Liberal Party. A good example of a neoliberal, for instance, is one Anthony Blair.

    If the above is not achieved soon then the same cycle will repeat itself. At some stage Britain will go bankrupt and then the real fighting will begin.

  29. 29
    KenDodd'sDad'sDog'sDead says:

    Hopefully Daddy Diamond WILL be holding a few dicks in the showers soon and they’ll do to him what he’s been doing to us – minus the metaphor.

    Girl, he’ll be a woman soon…

  30. 30
    Blair Rich Project says:

    Still waiting for that call. (charges apply)

  31. 31
    Silly cow says:

    Nepotism. She should be sacked along with him. Stupid cow.

  32. 32
    Specsavers says:

    I keep reading Nell Diamond as Neil Diamond.
    Mind you, Neil is more likely to have a dick.

    Has she had a nose transplant?

  33. 33
    Mildred Fish says:

    Nepotism? Don’t mention Nadine Dorries will you?

  34. 34
    The cunt of Monte Cristo says:

    Get out of my country you fucking yank trash

  35. 35
    Roy Hodgson says:

    I saw the photo on her Twitter feed of Bobby Diamond with John Terry holding the FA Cup. Now if that’s not a caption comp, I don’t know what is.

  36. 36
    Bob (related to "Legs," too?) Diamond says:

    Don’t know that I will, but until I can find me,
    A daughter who cares, and who won’t play games behind me,
    I’ll be what I am, a solitary man.

  37. 37
    The Brown tùrd can fuck off and do one. Pay me damages. says:

    Cheerio. Silly cow. :)

  38. 38
    Jess The Dog says:

    Most major multinationals have a social media policy… Diamond Jr’s metaphorical dick may be in the wringer over this…

  39. 39
    Col Nut says:

    At least £100,000,000 in the last 6 years and not much evidence of charitable donations. Obscene greed. She looks as arrogant as him.

  40. 40
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    I’m just waiting for some smarty-pants to post as “nelldiamond” and spell everybody’s name lower-case as one word.

  41. 41
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    How could she not be – it’s all she knows.

    They are the masters of the universe and can tell any politician to ‘hold their dick’ just because they can.

    This has to stop. A ‘Nuremberg Trial’ of all the bankers, politicians and their lackies is well overdue.

    Of course it will never happen because they call the shots and we hold their dicks.

    I despair for humanity.

  42. 42
    good ol' george says:

    good for her. ‘Morality’ from politicians is never more than sanctimonious cant from a hypocritical c*nt.

  43. 43
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    I don’t think so, standing up for your father is an admirable trait.

  44. 44
    Ed Balls- up and dickhead says:

    Good riddance to the garbage that is Labours legacy. Ha ha ha

  45. 45
    JH says:

    I’d like to fuck in ‘ell.


  46. 46
    Ed Balls- up and dickhead says:

    What a pair of saddos making complete arseholes of themselves as well as this country. What a pair of money grubbing hoons.

  47. 47
    Screwed Pensioner says:

    Q.E.ing Gilt Yields and fixing the Base Rate artificially low is not morally different from fiddling Libor. However, Sir Merv. will soon get a golden parachute into the HoL no doubt.
    The real lying hypocritical shysters are the politicians. Tumbrels ahoy!

  48. 48
    Ed's Ballsup says:

    She strikes me as someone who has her head so far up her own arse she thinks her shit smells of roses. No dear. It stinks of rancid crap!

  49. 49
  50. 50
    KINNOCKIO says:

    Nothing wrong with nepotism.

  51. 51
    Anonymous says:

    I’ve heard about people like you.

  52. 52
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Link does not work.

  53. 53
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Well said C.unt.

    And I say that as a proud American (though not actually so American that I want to live there)

  54. 54
    Hufferpuffers glee club says:

    cheer up mate just think you could have been born keith vaz

  55. 55
    MacGuffin says:

    What a crass little slut this Nell Diamond is.

  56. 56
    Brown tùrd humper says:

    *fap*fap*fap*fap* sploot.
    It would be funny but this country is being royally screwed by these self-serving idiots.

  57. 57
    National Socialist says:

    You are very right.

  58. 58
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    I’ve never heard of Barclays.

  59. 59
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    Give him a break. He’s a Notherner.

  60. 60
    Gilbert and Sullivan says:

    ding dong du …everybody wants one

  61. 61
    The Paragnostic says:

    Red, red swine
    Got to my head
    Made me forget
    That I bent rates for you.

    Red, red swine
    It’s down to you
    All I could fix I fixed
    Memories won’t go
    As my call logs will show

    I have sworn every time
    Thoughts of you came in my head
    I was wrong, got found out
    But your calls I won’t forget

    Red, red swine.

  62. 62
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    I will now eat this fucking keyboardciwgl awg ;qoap`|O ,

  63. 63
    Gilbert and Sullivan says:

    of course neil did a duet with him

  64. 64
    Socialism Ate My Future says:

    Things are getting interesting:


    Toodle pip Merv!

  65. 65
    ooooer.. says:

    get a life

  66. 66
    confused says:

    don’t they have soap on a rope ?

  67. 67
    Loungelizard says:

    Any idea what Dodgy Diamond and his sprog are doing in the photo? all looks very strange…

  68. 68
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    You joking.

    Men with £100m in their pocket don’t go to jail. They buy the justice system.

  69. 69
    union says:

    you’re lip reading again….naughty

  70. 70

    That’s right Dad!

    Can I have a new limousine yet?

  71. 71
    The Paragnostic says:

    It’s easy enough to find from the front page ;-)

  72. 72
    PissedasaParrot says:

    is that you mrs slater ?

  73. 73
    egghead says:

    hes depicting the size of diane abbot’s arsehole ?

  74. 74
    The quim reaper says:

    she can SMD any day.

  75. 75
    The Ghost of Marty Feldman says:

    How are you doing my son? Down there on the Earthly plane?

  76. 76
    This is fun! says:

    I’d love to COHT’s

  77. 77
    Anonymous says:

    Been to close to too many arses?

  78. 78
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Thanks. Bit of a long read but interesting.

  79. 79
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Who said diamonds are forever :-)

  80. 80
    Shit in the bucket Diamond says:

    The name diamond will forever be associated with a bucket of shit in the banking industry.

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    too close

  82. 82
    A Labour supporter says:

    And they will trample over us again and again until we organise against this finance capitalist filth. Shame utter shame on the left for failing to organise a movement as per Iraq war. What we have today is Finance terrorism being waged not by islamist terrorists but by the British rich and powerful against ordinary people and the innocent.

  83. 83
    moby dick says:


    no comment

  84. 84
    Just asking says:

    If Mr Diamond takes off to the USA, I wonder if the US government will allow extradition if he is found to have broken UK laws……………..

  85. 85
    JH says:

    …and what did the party you support do about it?

    You know, in the dark ages between May 1997 and May 2010. The time period you don’t like to refer to directly.

  86. 86
    Twat Watch says:

    Here’s a reminder of what the then shadow chancellor and his colleagues said whan Labour was in power, and, indeed, failing to regulate properly:

    “I fear that much of this regulation has been burdensome, complex and makes cross-border market penetration more difficult.

    “This is exactly the wrong direction in which Europe should be heading and it threatens the global competitiveness of the City of London.”

    – George Osborne, 2006

  87. 87
    Bob 'll Fix It says:

    I have a letter here from a mister Ed Balls saying “please Bob can you fix the Libor rate for me and my pal Gordon.”

    Yes Ed, i’ll get on the phone to my mate Merv at the jolly old Bank of England and see what he can do for you.

    Now then! now then!

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    If she gets her tits done, she can hold mine.

  89. 89
    National Socialist says:

    No Barclays mortgage ads on TV at present.

  90. 90
    Sahdough says:

    I’d rather be them with their £100m than a saddo like you calling them saddo.

  91. 91
    neckbender says:

    ding dong …owe you one bigboy

  92. 92
    northern git says:

    labour…filth….. just filth

  93. 93

    So his daughter was also once a “Diamond Geezer ”
    does He/She work in gash trannys for the Douch bank ?

  94. 94
    NHS helpline says:

    you’d let anything with legs hold yours

  95. 95
    Andy Pandy says:

    At last we are getting somewhere.

    The brown stuff is flying now.

    Can you please leave your passport with the security officer Mr Diamond as the Committee may have a few more questions.

    I wager those MPs on that committee are having their collars felt.

    T because they will be in the frame as Much as the Bankershey are going to be wetting themselves if they are asked to investigate further

  96. 96
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    At this rate Cameron will not be holding an EU referendum.

    He will simply be shown the back door by the Eurozone Members who will be glad to be rid.

  97. 97
    I can't find my sunglasses says:

    Simply the name Barclays will bring down the UK economy.

    The whole mess is already getting Press in Paris Berlin and New York.

    The good old UK Banking system its integrity and honour are going to be lost.

    Diamond should be firing from his six shooter tomorrow and if he starts firing blanks then everyone will know the reason why.

    Barclays have simply got to be got rid of.

    A Chancery Court application could possibly lead to its dissolution on the just and equitable ground.

    All this rubbish about bringing in new people and the Bank cleaning up its act is hogwash.

    The damage has been done. Even Cameron can see the weakness of his own stance.

    It needs emergency surgery now i.e. amputations

  98. 98
    Jimbob Murdoch says:

    Hey! what about me?

  99. 99
    Daisy Smith aged 82 from Huddersfield says:

    Please Mr Cameron is my pension safe?

  100. 100
    jgm2 says:

    Nell will be out of a job by the end of the week.

  101. 101
    Golly says:

    From where I am standing I would say that Mr Diamond is further responsible for fathering a Spice Girl.

  102. 102
    Golly says:


  103. 103
    An Angry Andy Pandy says:

    Why the obsession with Brown and Balls.

    Darling was on the scene and there was a Mr Timms too.

    Milliband is quite capable of throwing them all to the dogs and keeping the crusade going.

    He would definitely ‘lively up’ an EU Emergency Summit.

  104. 104
    Loopylou says:

    It is as safe as a a sautéed lamb and lobster stew in the HOC canteen my dear

  105. 105
    Rob Roy says:

    The whole world will then be more than happy to pay an EU Tobin tax and steer well clear of the City of London.

  106. 106
    JO MOORE (political grave digger) says:

    Dear Neil Diamond : i have all your records my favourite is

    Bob on the rocks

  107. 107
    a welsh tom cat says:

    Yes you have.

    They sponsor the Premier League.

    Well at least they used to!

  108. 108
    Hoon of the Hoonery says:

    @Sadough. The public should demand the pair of saddos give the money back. It is not as if they earned it. Disgraceful! Rewarding corruption and troughers. Fortunately, the shit will stick to them.

  109. 109
    Bill Bell says:

    Hide My Dosh

  110. 110
    Anonymous says:

    If it was a Kayne gig, then they would be doing the ‘rocafella diamond’

  111. 111
    Bill Bell says:

    more like LMC

  112. 112
    Bill Bell says:

    OMG Dianne Abbot’s arsehole, I need electro shock therapy to clense my brain!!!!

  113. 113
    Harriet Harman says:

    Isn’t that the sign for what makes Jackie Dromey a better MP than Gordon Brown and why a shortlist was created? (An ax wound or manhole) ( y )

  114. 114
    Noah, Sark says:

    Wish I never had. One would be bad enough but they come in twos.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Im no fan of the 2 Eds or Mervyn,but you must admit Bob has been a fool.

  116. 116
    Anonymous says:

    How come she has a Dick ? is she trans gender ?

  117. 117
    Anonymous says:

    It looks the same as the actress (?) from eastenders who had a powder problem.

  118. 118
    Anonymous says:

    It looks as though she needs one !

  119. 119
    Anonymous says:

    I hope Ed Balls gets whats coming to him !

  120. 120
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t confuse the vermin with facts.

  121. 121
    SpAd says:

    Ugh, corporate r & b. Load of crap.

  122. 122
    Polly's Crusty Portico says:

    Wind your neck in pish face. The inclusion of the royals betrays that you are a disciple of the cult of progressive bat-shittery. Now get that sandwich board on – and stop shouting at traffic.

  123. 123
    Anonymous says:

    I thought i meant “Hire My Daddy”!

  124. 124
    Bugler Bert says:

    Or is she saying HMD, meaning “Hold My Dildo”; insinuating that she cannot find a suitable real dick…

  125. 125
    Whippersnapper2 says:

    Has she got a dick too? What is this ? Some sort of trans sexual episode? Or does she need a strapadictomy? Pray tell me what I am missing.

  126. 126
    Ordinary Joe says:

    Princeton class 2011 – must be nice..

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