June 26th, 2012

Indy Sketch-writer Misses Paper’s Splash

The Indy’s Simon Carr used his sketch today to slam the idea that the Tories have reverted to their “nasty party” image. Carr rubbished the suggestion, arguing:

“If that’s the return of the Nasty Party, there’ll be an awful lot of nice people nodding along with it. It’s the Gordon Brown school of sketch writing to call David Cameron nasty, with his nice hair, nice manner, nice wife, nice – I don’t know – internet history, and perfectly nice way of presenting the facts of life to a recalcitrant nation of benefit dependants.”

Guido imagines Carr would be feeling brave if, say, his newspaper had run the headline “Return of the nasty party” the day before. Oh wait…


224 Comments

  1. 1
    Oh says:

    the Indy is shit.

  2. 2
    Lance Dyer says:

    The Tories have not reverted to being the ‘nasty party’ – they always have since the expression was coined to describe Thatcher’s disastrous policies. We are still paying the price for her deregulation of the banks and selling off council housing stock. Tories never learn!

  3. 3
    Will White says:

    Clue is probably in the title of the paper…

  4. 4
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Just how broke is the indy? they must be phucking desperate to sign laura penny

  5. 5
    Penny Dread says:

    I agree. I suffered under Thatcher. My parents were miners. When that bitch shut down the mines, they lost their mining rights and I lost my trust fund.

    Lend us a few quid for the rent will ya?
    £1 for a cup of herbal tea, mister?
    Will write for crap for cash.
    Anyone?

    {tossers}

  6. 6
    Oh says:

    Nope, was Browns setting up the FSA and his reckless spending.

  7. 7
    Jimmy Carrsole says:

    Simon Carr is no relation.

  8. 8
    1st directorate of the KGB says:

    We are not broke. Only capitalist-imperialist running dogs can be broke.
    We are rich. Rich in spiritual and social wealth. Rich in comradeship and ideology.

    Please..can someone ask the daily express if they can lend us some more candles.
    The electricity is off again.
    That is due to worker productivity and output exceeding quota of worker hours. Or possibly, we have not paid bill.

  9. 9
    The Labour Party says:

    The Tories ARE the nasty party. We’re the nice cuddly party. We did nice cuddly things like smear the survivor of a train crash who dared to criticise His Holiness St Tony, throw out a Holocaust survivor who dared to heckle at our conference, raise pensions by 20p, smear Mo Mowlam for daring to get a standing ovation during a speech by His Holiness St Tony, falsify a document for war, hound Dr K-lly to death, line our own pockets, put hanging baskets and porno flicks on expenses, fast track passports for rich donors and take cash for honours. And that’s just a few of the things we did!

  10. 10
    Jimmy says:

    Two different opinions in the same newspaper?

    Whatever next?

  11. 11
    Jimmy says:

    “No one with a conscience votes conservative”

    N.Tebbit (attrib)

  12. 12
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Who is that gorgeous minx under the masthead, the one with the unusual two-tone hair? Why isn’t she better known? Why is she so shy and retiring?

  13. 13
    usetheleftwing says:

    Or maybe a paper can still have an editorial viewpoint, whilst allowing individual writers the freedom to say what the believe?

    Now that’d be a thought wouldn’t it….

  14. 14
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    >My parents were miners.

    Yes, but where did they dig you up?

  15. 15
    smoggie says:

    Or flush, I’ve heard she doesn’t come cheap.

    Them Tuscan villas don’t buy themselves.

  16. 16
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Penny Dreadful ?? The clue is in the name.

  17. 17
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Two different opinions about your comment?

  18. 18
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    You also wrecked the economy, don’t forget!

  19. 19
    Tony & Cherie Blair says:

    We’re riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich beyond my wildest dreams! And it’s all thanks to those dead Iraqis and dead soldiers! Thank you!

  20. 20
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Is she a Tory?

  21. 21
    L Penny says:

    I am the voice of a generation.

    We grew up in the golden years of new labour.

    We know all the racists, all the english, all the white males are out to stop us.

    We will win. We are the new generation.

  22. 22
    Jimmy the Dhimmi says:

    No-one with a brain votes liebour.

  23. 23
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Glad to see you’ve dropped the hyphen at last, Jimmy.

  24. 24
    dichotomy says:

    Credit to both her sex and race.
    Fortunately not the human kind.

  25. 25
    Alyingstare Campbell says:

    Oi !! Thank me too, whilst you’re at it.

  26. 26
    Simon Carr says:

    I’m not just saying nice things because I have received favourable tax treatment. I haven’t. In fact, that’s a different Carr altogether. Except, he doesn’t have anything nice to say for having received it– a fairly nasty party, he!

  27. 27
    dodo says:

    This messenger will self destruct in 10 seconds…………..

  28. 28
    Polly Toynbee says:

    This is not a time for hysterical hyperbole or smears. Our discourse should be calm and measured and rational. But it’s safe to say this government has found a Final Solution for the working class. In Iain Ducan Smith they have their own Mengele. In Jeremy Hunt they have their own Goebbels. And in David Cameron they have their own Hitler. They are seeking the wholesale extermination of a people. I will not stand by and watch this government undertake mass genocide. I will show my outrage by penning more articles from my villa in Tuscany.

  29. 29

    If that was all you did we might have survived the recession.

    Sadly the list of major, major disasters and mistakes just goes on and on and on…

    Immigration
    banking
    employment
    education
    transport
    health
    PFI
    Europe
    Gold reserves
    Military spending
    green energy taxes
    Welfare spending
    Union power,

    were just some of the hits from the K-Tel Labour Party. Revisit these and many, many more as the ongoing crisis unfolds.
    ……….

  30. 30
    phil says:

    “No one with a brain votes Labour”
    (Former final salary scheme member)

  31. 31
    Labour says:

    it was great

  32. 32
    Tory says:

    it was shite

  33. 33
    Old Tory Bigot says:

    It’s about as ‘independent’ as Der Stürmer.

  34. 34
    Lib Dem says:

    It was good in some parts and less good in others. Plus there should have been some mention about proportional representation.

  35. 35
    Liam Outcast says:

    There’s no body left {to tax}

  36. 36
    nellnewman says:

    I think your getting miss penny muddled up with queen pollytwaddle of the graudian living in her tuscan palace. Another condescending rich socialist who thinks we working class folks need to be told how to live life by her marxist principles.

  37. 37
    Witchy Poo says:

    The crappy indy.

  38. 38
    nellnewman says:

    I suspect pollytwaddle’s plans for we ‘poor helpless uneducated plebs’ become more grandiose as the evening wears on and she consumes ever more chilled pink champagne on her palace balcony watching the sun set over those tuscan hills.

  39. 39
    Liam Byrne says:

    There’s no money left

  40. 40
    just saying says:

    And Labour introduced tuition fees.

  41. 41

    Embarrassing as it is, I must confess to having a very similar hairstyle and hair colouring to Penny.

    well..it was the 80’s. And I was a bit younger than her. Phil Oakey and the Human League. Duran – Duran . Siouxse Sioux. The Word. MTV. Terry Christian.

    Of course in those days you had to be a weekend punk as you couldn’t go to school with a pierced head or coloured hair. They’d send you home.
    Peroxide Friday- dark wash dye Sunday. No wonder the bloody stuff all fell out years ago.

    Luckily for myself, in the pre internet age, pictures of a youthful Bill Quango with a crap crop are unlikely to fill Facebook.

  42. 42
    allotment says:

    Penny @com.post always has me in stitches Nell.
    Explains her own sites attitude to her rants

  43. 43
    Alistair Campbell, Peter Mandelson, Patricia Hewitt, Margaret Moran, Stephen Byers, Geoff Hoon says:

    I don’t know why everyone goes on about doing badly under Labour. We did all right! We’re loaded!

  44. 44
    Anonymous says:

    Fuck off. Wanker.

  45. 45
    Anonymous says:

    “David Cameron nasty, with his nice hair, nice manner, nice wife, nice – I don’t know – internet history, and perfectly nice way of presenting the facts of life”

    Well, the wife’s ok to look at.

  46. 46
    Gordon Brown says:

    I see there’s a film called Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Why isn’t there a film about me called Gordon Brown World Saver? I saved the world and the world’s banking system.

  47. 47
    bog art says:

    Play it again Sam

  48. 48
    Film titles for Gordon Brown says:

    Goldseller
    Raiders of the Private Pensions
    One Of Our Gold Reserves Is Missing
    Full Metal Strait Jacket

  49. 49
    Ploppy Toy Bee says:

    Calm down, Polly. How’s the weather in Italy?

  50. 50

    There’s a youtube. That’s something that is on the interweb,Gordon. And that’s a bit like a movie.

    I think its called “Gordon Brown, bogie slayer.”
    Its had millions of hits.

  51. 51
    Gordon Brown says:

    She is rich enough to be one.

  52. 52
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Shurely shome mistake.

    Return of the Nazi party.

  53. 53
    K-Tel Labour Party says:

    If we win in 2015, you can look forward to all our greatest hits in a brand new digitally remastered edition for the next parliament, as well as unreleased demos such as “ID cards for babies”, “982 days detention without charge”, a new remix of an old favourite, “50,000 public sector non-jobs to artificially bloat the economy”.

  54. 54
    Jimmy Carr says:

    One of these days someone will realise I’m about as funny as a burning orphanage and then I’ll really be in trouble!

  55. 55
    Gordon Brown says:

    Interweb? Is that like a stylus or the wireless radio? I prefer to watch my compilation of Michael Foot speeches on my Betamax video machine while eating a prudent slice of toast.

  56. 56
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Actually, you show up in the sequel, as Honest Abe dr!ves a stake through your heart, and well and truly saves the world– from you!

  57. 57
    genghiz the kahn says:

    This is the paper whose editorial page stated that David Miliband was leader of The Labour Party.

  58. 58
    Tuscan Tony says:

    You are Limahl and I claim my Kajagoogoo box set.

  59. 59
    Tuscan Tony says:

    “My parents were miners”

    Was your father Paul Gadd?

  60. 60

    Public sector building contractors PFI receipt book.

    Services to be invoiced for.

    1- receptionist chair. Conforms to all current legislation, fire and H&S standards.
    – £5,056 + vat

    2- 1 receptionists desk. Made from eco-green, friendly, ethical, sustainable wood and featuring architectural conception of modernity in a natural design and to medical conformity.
    – £44,300 + VAT

    3 – 1 x set of 10 receptionists disability compliant, ergonomic, shatterproof, safety lidded, biro pens.
    -£231+vat

    Bills to pay.

    – Office chair from Staples -£36.00
    – Denzil & Jake’s lumber – £14.00 for floorboards + Derek and Pyotr’s carpentry services and coverings- £345
    WH SMITHS – pack of 10 bic – £1.99

  61. 61

    I’m Too Shy to comment.

  62. 62
    JH says:

    Oh do fuck off with your “I vote Labour because I have a conscience” bullshit Jimmy. Labour destroyed savers, and squandered what was the best pension system in Europe, condemning millions to an impoverished old age.

    How does that sit with your oh-so-lofty conscience? I bet it doesn’t even fucking register, because it was your favoured gang doing it rather than those eeevil Tories.

    That’s what Labour DID – don’t start whining about what the other lot are doing now, in the aftermath.

  63. 63
    Too Crap Crap, Hush Hush says:

    Limahl, didn’t you also do The Neverending Story theme? Jesus, was that a fucking shit song.

  64. 64
    nellnewman says:

    So that’s what 13 years of labour education has turned out is it?

  65. 65
    New age bollocks says:

    Didn’t Labour spend thousands on “relaxation rooms” in government buildings where workers could take a break and relax in a calming environment that has its chi in balance and the right feng shui?

  66. 66
    Artful Tax Dodger says:

    evil fascist nazi … err … nasty … err … naughty … err … not so bad … err … nice tories

  67. 67
    Derek and Pyotr says:

    Yes..yes..can do, no problem. Is ready Monday,yes? Will work much time and make all fix for you, ready. And we can make wall from calming wood like, maybe concrete.

    £890,500 + Vat.

  68. 68
    Yes please? says:

    Reminds me of this very funny sketch.

  69. 69

    pictures of a youthful Bill Quango with…

    Do you want to buy some?

  70. 70

    No country for old people
    The Blair and his witch project
    Bend it like Gordon
    Carry on Dick Head
    Logan’s Bank run

  71. 71
    Aunty Matter says:

    nice to see the BBC and Nu Liebore arm in arm again today. This time over the totally fucked up PFI scam that Gordon McBraindead used to offload a few hundred billion of public debt hoping no one would notice (the BBC haven’t)

  72. 72
    Aunty Matter says:

    We’re paying 13 billion for about 10 new tanker aircraft for the RAF that we won’t even own.

    If Gordon Brown were running British airway’s they’d be out of business within a day.

  73. 73
    Frank's son says:

    The Man Who Broke The Banks Of England
    Dumbo
    Gross Encounters Of The Worst Kind

  74. 74
    An off-topic quote but one that I like says:

    Watching porn is like reading a recipe without making anything.

  75. 75
    fruitcake says:

    My memory hurts….thanks Bill

  76. 76
    I love the sound of waffle in the morning says:

    Only the well-off and rich espouse socialism but only as long as it doesn’t affect their own personal nice and cosy lifestyle …essentially all socialists are sanctimonious hypocrites

  77. 77

    Completely off the subject, have you seen this Tweet?

    Cllr Matt James ‏@matthewrjames
    It is with great regret that I announce my resignation from the Conservative party. I am sorry for the trouble caused.

  78. 78
    Anonymous says:

    Or sucking a sweet with the wrapper on, can’t see the point of it tbh.

  79. 79
    Paul Stain says:

    Shock! Newspaper gives two different opinions! Shut it down along with the BBC, The Body Shop and Wales

  80. 80
    My wee smells like battery acid says:

    My blog isn’t utter tripe & bilge, is it Guido?

  81. 81
    My wee smells like battery acid says:

    “Have you seen this Tweet?”

    DURRRRR ……………

  82. 82
    Anonymous says:

    Stop Press.

    A no mark councillor throw his toys out of the pram.

  83. 83
    Anonymous says:

    I wondered where all those new schools and hospitals came from. Turns out we couldn’t really afford them.

  84. 84
    Mer Vinking says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll quantatively ease some more so long as the banks promise only to use it for bonuses.

  85. 85
    Mer Vinking says:

    Don’t worry, I’ll quantatively ease some more so long as the banks promise only to use it for bonuses.

  86. 86
    UKIP says:

    EUSSR FACIST STATE MUSLIMS COMMUNISTS ENVIRONMENTALISTS GAYS MINORITIES!!!!

  87. 87
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    Thatcher saved this country from the greedy, blackmailing unions and brought the country back to prosperity in only a few years. Then Labour got back in in 1997 and we are back to 1979 with a bust economy again. Labour always screws up the economy. It is a fact of life.

  88. 88
    Gordon Brown says:

    Limahl was from Wigan just like Kay Burley. Does he also support Arsene Wenger’s Woolwich Arsenal?

  89. 89
    Artful Tax Dodger says:

    Nationalsozialismus! … National SOCIALISTS perchance?

  90. 90
    Mary Daly says:

    Labour always screws up the economy. It is a fact of life. Yes but in a consensual lesbain loving way unlike horrid horrid heterosexual screwing.

  91. 91
    Artful Tax Dodger says:

    a burning orphanage? … now theres an idea for a tax dodge!

  92. 92
    Forkbender says:

    Have you not thought that it was written in a satirical way.

  93. 93
    Mark Freeland says:

    Ben Elton, Jo Brand, Dawn French are ahead of you in that queue and it would take an effort you are not capable of to get past Dawn French!

  94. 94

    With a propensity like Limahl’s, what might a box set entail, I wonder…

  95. 95
  96. 96

    No.

    I blame the Corn Laws, myself.

  97. 97
    Baldy says:

    I wondered who was leading it.

  98. 98
    Miliband's a joke, Camoron's a nightmare. Choose at will. says:

    “Labour always screws up the economy”

    Hmm. Labour created a national de*bt of £1trillion.

    Dave “Let’s give all our money to India’s space programme” Camoron is dead-set on raising it to £1.4trillion.

    I’m not sure how making a horrendous d*ebt 40% worse could be regarded as an improvement, but then again, unlike Camoron’s pal Giddee-Oh, I’m not a moronic 41-y/o coh ke ad*d ikt.

  99. 99
    Absolutely says:

    I feel somewhat overused.

  100. 100
    Mark Freeland says:

    SteveMcCarthyHunt • a day ago

    Oh, right Thomas, so its OK for her to slag off her rivals as graspers when she is doing nothing different? The hypocrisy of the left wing is staggering. Penny is just another dumbass kid waaaaaay waaaaay out of her depth and needs to do some serious growing up. Its idiots like these passing themselves off as “journalists” which has done as much to undermine the profession in the last 15 years as Murdoch has ever done in a lifetime.

    I think he is trying to say that she might ne the new Johan Hari but with her own thoughts.

  101. 101
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    I used to be a member of the Labour Party, then the SDP, then the LibDems. I would join the Greens or anyone else, if it kept me in a job, on expenses and traveling to eastern Europe, also on expenses. I am still blogging from hospital on my free iPad. If Labour get back into power, I am switching back. Boaz.

  102. 102
    Baldy says:

    Did you mean to type cornholed?

  103. 103

    One thing we never learn from you, Jimmy, is:

    Where and how do you benefit from your socialist creed?

    What is in it for you?

    What motivates you to post all these types of comments on a blog like this?

    Claiming to be a gadfly will just not cut the mustard.

  104. 104
    Baldy says:

    Welsh devolved parliament says:
    “Right, when you die we’ll have the choice bits from your body.

    …hurry up, we’re waiting.”

  105. 105

    What? As in Capital: a critique of political economy; Vol. 3: the process of capitalist production as a hole by Mr Marx.

  106. 106
    annette curton says:

    All trying to do a Toynbee, just settle for a flat in Peckham Penny, there are only so many outraged socio/feminists that flesh and blood can stand.

  107. 107
    concrete pump says:

    Who reads the Indy anyway?

    Wankers….that’s who.

    Now after mentioning that shite rag i need a shower.

  108. 108
    A pretty straight-kinda guy would says:

    A few more tax-free millions would be nice though.

    … and some more bodyguards, perhaps be made a President, with my own jet, and a palace or two

    …oooh yes, and some torturers, please.

  109. 109
    last_brit_standing says:

    and that the leader of the Lib Dems was Nick Cleggg.

  110. 110
    last_brit_standing says:

    The only people the Tories are being nasty to are soldiers,a nd they were treated just the same by Labour. Simon Carr is right to ignore his paper’s imbicilic headline.

  111. 111
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    I’m sure that all that nonsense from Laurie Penny about “I-was-crashing-in-the-studio-of-an-artist-friend-in-TriBeCa,” to explain her living arrangements in New York, is just so much self-serving image-burnishing. For what the artist friend would have to pay, either in rent or as a mortgage-loan payment, I’m sure they were subletting to Ms Penny to be able to afford it. Just Google “loft apartments to let in lower Manhattan” and get a load of some of those pr!ces! (I am assuming Ms Penny has not gone the whole shot and actually bought or long-term-leased one, in which case SHE’D be the one paying.) Polly’s digs might even be a steal in comparison. Anywhere in Manhattan, or even close by, is going to require a serious amount of mazuma, but of course, only the best for our Laurie!

  112. 112
    Eco twat protester gets Olympics ban says:

    Full time eco wank warrior Simon Moore is the first person to get an Olympics ASBO in advance of the games. Known to the police for causing a nuisance at protests, he’s banned from coming within 100 metres of any Olympics venue in the country.

    ASBOs will be issued to other people too apparently. I hope they give one to every fucking muzee in London. And if any of them breach the orders, armed response police should have the authority to shoot them on the spot. The ragheads are desperate to get to heaven anyway, so let’s help them get there.

  113. 113
    Calamity Clegg says:

    Yet another LibDem failure.

  114. 114
    Avida Dollars says:

    They’d be better off digging up the body of Ezra Pound.

  115. 115
    Ex Minor says:

    Yeah. Dead right, Penny. Up t’ miners

    I miss spendin me time down that pit with t’ mates, in the pitch dark, on our hands and knees all day wit’ ponies. I miss all the black stuff that we used to spit up, eh it were grand…and me coal allowance, Aye, I miss that.

    And I’ve got vibration white finger. Fancy a go on it lass?

  116. 116
    Ken Lyingscum (with nasal twang and weird whine) says:

    Too right – well left actually! Keep anyone who protests against muzzies – aka the Master Race – away!

    And don’t forget, – I haven’t given up on bringing the Bacon home!

  117. 117
    Avida Dollars says:

    Dan Hodges reckons Dave is ‘getting himself wedged between two political stools.’ (Seen elsewhere.)
    McMoron is one, obviously ….. I wonder which other political stool he had in mind ?

  118. 118
    South of the M4 says:

    Was not the ‘never ending story’ a Jon Anderson / Yes thing?

  119. 119
    Anti-LimpDicks says:

    Shit himself?

  120. 120

    Not the concrete pump who hasn’t posted since 2010, is it?

    I’m half convinced…

    Welcome back if so.

  121. 121
    Baldy says:

    Dr Strangelove
    The Old-Lady Killers
    Glad-He-Ate? urgh!
    Eye Wide Shut
    Frenzy

  122. 122
    P.Mandevilson, the Eminence Greasy says:

    It’s mine.

  123. 123
    Witchy Poo says:

    The BBC is money grubbing, pish poor quality, lefty shite. Demand a refund. Money grubbers who fleece the poor and the disadvantaged. Disgraceful.

  124. 124

    You can leave the possessive pronoun out in respect of me, thank you!

  125. 125
    JadedJean says:

    UKIP.I.AM

    If one doesn’t see the connection between Thatcher’s revolution in the 80s, “Trotskyism” (The Left Opposition, or “Infantile Disorder”) i.e Neoconservativism and Murdoch, it’s probably best to start with Murdoch’s “bag-man’s book on Neoconservativism”, i.e that edited by Irwin Stelzer which has chapters by Blair and Thatcher and others suspects. Still, it looks to me like most people in the UK are quite happy with all this, so maybe its a case of just deserts? The Washington Post drew out the history of the Neoconservatives and Trotsky long before the second Iraq war, but some never learn. Most people can’t discriminate very well. They think discrimination (intelligence) is bad behaviour in fact. Don’t think, it’s rude!

    Just remember, the Left Opposition were ANARCHISTS. They wanted the state to wither away. That is why the Russians purged them. That is why the Americans hated the Russians, many of their relatives had been ousted by the Soviets. Those that stayed became “dissidents”, Many of those that left went to USA and helped the rise of the Neocons. Unless one sees this a lot of world politics makes no sense. The vilification of “communists” by “Trostkyites” in the USA is quite invidious. It’s a form of feminine-brained identity politics aka psychological warfare.

  126. 126
    Brown's bullshitting Corporation says:

    The BBC fleeces everyone including the poor. No one calls it the nasty broadcaster that it is.

  127. 127
    concrete pump says:

    It is moniker,how are you?

  128. 128

    Is it conc pump?

  129. 129
    Quentin Quimlicker says:

    The Indy is absolutely stuffed full of fascinating stories about the arts, Lebanon and Lords reform. I find it unputdownable.

  130. 130
    Baldy says:

    Hmmm…sounds absorbent.

  131. 131
    Chris Bryant says:

    Oh, please, please will you wedge me between two stools? PLEEEASE!

  132. 132
    Norman Tebbit says:

    They should have got on their bikes and looked for work

  133. 133
    Anonymous says:

    Last heard of using the moniker, ‘concrete pump pulls it off’.

  134. 134
    Mark Oaten says:

    Out of the way. I’m first.

  135. 135
    concrete pump says:

    Wotcha Bill…are you still ruling the friday caption comp?

  136. 136

    Great thanks! I have posted several times bemoaning your absence and wondering what had caused it (thinking I may know.) Only if you want to tell, I would certainly be interested to hear.

  137. 137
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    CRRM, the word you seek is “troll” :-)

  138. 138
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Psycho.

    I win!

  139. 139
    concrete pump says:

    This site got a bit nasty and i got nasty with it….took time off to re-evaluate my politics.

  140. 140
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Hmm, not much tax potential there — but insurance, now you’re talking!

  141. 141
    Gordoom Mac Prick says:

    Wrong! I paid for them with all the money I got for the gold. Nobody does Economics like the Sc o tch.

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    Meanwhile, OnMeds is becoming the new jonners on twatter.

  143. 143
    David Miliband says:

    I am

  144. 144
    Dave, the speaking cock says:

    The BBC is a national treasure, (well, that’s what I’ve been programmed to say anyway)

  145. 145
    the return of utter tat says:

    Fuck off smoggie.

  146. 146
    Tony Blair says:

    I was in a band called Vibration Finger. Nearest I ever got to one of those filthy miners!

  147. 147
    Anonymous says:

    Er, concrete pump never used small i’s or dashes.

  148. 148
    Chancellor Merkin says:

    Nicht without mein permission

  149. 149
    Irony Gordon says:

    @On8illy is the biggest spastic on the internet and I say that without so much as a hint of irony.

  150. 150
    It was Labour wot done it says:

    It’s called “Creative Accounting”….Brown put a lot of debt “off the books” by using PFI contracts so that all the nation’s debt did not appear in the borrowing figures…just another example of Labour fucking up the economy

  151. 151
    It was Labour wot done it says:

    The fact is that Labour spent all the money and consider this the cuts haven’t even started properly yet…..the present economic mess will last until 2020 and a lot more people will be out of a jon inc the military

  152. 152
    Anonymous says:

    I am glad their own sketch writer shares my view of the dreadful rag. Quite how dumb one needs to be to run quite such an obviously biased, anti-Tory headline underneath the title ‘The Independent’ is beyond me. To do so on an issue on which the vast majority of the working populace would agree with the Prime Minister’s thinking (note ‘thinking’ not current policy proposals) is imbecilic.

  153. 153
    concrete pump says:

    Er, yes i did.

    You must be new here.

  154. 154
    Obo The Cunt says:

    +1
    I unfollowed him months ago.

  155. 155
    Anonymous says:

    No, I was the one who fucked you over.

  156. 156
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    Nobody reads it…..it’s even more of a low-grade socialist propaganda “rag” than the Guradian which is saying something !!!!

  157. 157
    Labour at the movies says:

    Crash ( staring Gordon Brown )
    Passport to Pimlico (A Hinduja brothers comedy staring Peter Mandleson)
    Taxi Driver ( staring Stephen Byres)
    Psycho ( stating Alistair Campbell )
    Brief Encounter ( staring Tessa Jowel and her former husband)
    A Man for all seasons ( staring Jack Straw)
    Billy liar( cast of thousands)

  158. 158
    Well it's a thought says:

    How dare you the BBC is the EU’s favoured broadcaster using a British poll tax to broadcast all over the EU and the rest of the world, how do you think the EU can afford all that garbage to be transmitted, troughing has to come first you know.

  159. 159

    concrete pump says:
    March 17, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Was that the limerick competition a few months ago?

    I thought i had that one in the bag.

    That settles that one…

  160. 160
    concrete pump says:

    That’s doubtful sweetheart.

    I am the squeegee that wipes the saliva from these windows.

  161. 161
    Raving Loon says:

    Tories, the nasty party:

    Raised government spending and borrowing
    Have not done ONE thing to get us out of the EU
    Expanded the police state
    Encouraged subsidies to the feckless

    Remind me why we should vote Tory again?

  162. 162
    Tachybaptus says:

    Τо bе unfоllоwеd bу Оbо thе Сunt іs а trulу tеrrіblе thіng. Hоw wіll рооr Bіllу еνеr lіνе іt dоwn?

  163. 163
    M. Lafayette est dans la boulangerie says:

    + deux

    Il est pathetic. Trois bières s’il vous plaît garçon!

  164. 164
    Anonymous says:

    Your spunk more like.

  165. 165
    Aunty Matter says:

    We must have hundreds of billions of off book debt, the one eyed braincell went OTT with the system. He was funding everything with it.

    Liebore seem to be in denial, even if you were to grow the economy at say 3% a year you’d only be getting about 30 billion extra a year, being as we pay 40 billion a year just servicing our debt and not even paying it off, that 30 billion would be spent on so many things we’d need 100 billion.

    Of course McDoom would have just off booked more debt and gone on borrowing and printing in the hope no one would call him out (well the BBC wouldn’t)

  166. 166
    Aunty Matter says:

    This will be the top story on the BBC very soon.

  167. 167
    Aunty Matter says:

    Just watching Ed Gonads on the news spouting off in the Commons. He must know he’s as popular in the Country as a fart in a lift?

  168. 168
    Fuck Nose says:

    Who gives a shit whether some inadequate, hyperactive internet gayer lives it down, or not?

  169. 169

    You are so naughty.

    But it is the issues of cui bono and cui malo that I want to establish.

    Unless people are exceedingly dense, they don’t troll for no reason. Whatever charges you might wish to level against Jimmy, he is not dense.

  170. 170
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    Nobody does slimy, sweaty smug like I do !


  171. 171
    Tea and Scones says:

    Don’t be so fucking patronising.

  172. 172
    juke box jury says:

    Plan 9 From Outer Space.

  173. 173
    Indy says:

    Laurie Penny is our secret weapon in our campaign to attract a pre-school readership.

  174. 174
    a passer by says:

    leave ‘im nell, e aint worf it!

  175. 175
    State enforcing what corporations should use the courts for says:

    Digital Economy Act coming to an ISP near you.

  176. 176
    Ded Bollocks says:

    What do you think of the hair style? I call it neo-adolph.

  177. 177
    Anonymous says:

    No, he’s thick.

  178. 178
    annette curton says:

    Slimy, sweaty bollocks, ugh!.

  179. 179
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    Is that Worzel Gummidge seated to his right?

  180. 180
    Mr. & Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flippers ) says:

    http://bit.ly/dLfpyo

  181. 181
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    No, and he used to be quite amusing. But there has to be an element of trollery is his continuing presence. He’s too intelligent to imagine for one instant that he can redeem the cantankerous reprobates here and lead them into the glorious, sunlit uplands of socialism.

    Then again, maybe he’s just bonkers.

  182. 182
    Old Blue Eyes says:

    How in hell’s name they can call themselves “The Independent” is utterly beyond me. They are anything but. The poor mans “Guardian”.

  183. 183
    The EUSSR, ably assisted by the EUSSR Thought Police says:

    We want to take over your finance – correction – WE ARE going to take over all your finance starting Thursday when your puny grovelling little PM comes to see us.

    RESISTANCE IS FUTILE AND WILL COST YOU EVEN MORE THAN YOU PAY NOW!

    Best to just SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

  184. 184
    Saffron says:

    Never mind Ed Ballokoski and his inane load of rubbish.
    Him and his boygirl certainly know how to screw the expenses ponzi scheme big time.
    Balls is in one statement a complete and utter load of boll-cks,a degree in PPE what an absolute joke and you can add Cammoron and Gideon into that, who also reached this pinnacle of achievement.
    These types of people regard the rest of us as foot soldiers for their cause and they conn gullible people as to what they are for.
    As it stands at present these assholes are winning,when oh when are the UK public who are paying these people to pursue their treasonous agenda going to stop this in it’s tracks.

  185. 185
    Benny Fitz-Clements says:

    BRING BACK GORDON & HIS CHUMPS !

  186. 186
    Aunty Matter says:

    More bollocks from the BBC. They got pin head Peston to spin some story about how Murdoch is so ashamed of phone hacking (big yawn) that he’s spinning off his ‘dodgy newspapers.

    No truth in that of course at this has been on the cards for a long time, but of course the BBC naturally takes the Indy/Labour/Guardian spin on this.

    Then the ONLY thing we hear about Leveson (is it still going on?) was a short sound bite from some Limp Dumb who claimed that the Limp Dums might get beaten up in the papers of Murdoch didn’t get his way with Sky. Ah Diddums.

    Yet every day we see the BBC being pulled up for dodgy or poor journalism. People out in the Ukraine has been slaughtering the BBC over the Panorama programme calling all the people there nasty right wing racists.

    Now today we also see the gutless BBC trust pointing the finger as c u n ts like Jeremy Bowen and Helen Boaden once again. Just how many times has Bowen been picked up for crap journalism now?

  187. 187
    Haribo Halfwit says:

    At 20p, the ‘i’ looks like a bargain, until you remember that papers of a similar quality (Metro) or better (City am) are supported by advertising well enough to be distributed for free.

  188. 188
    Saffron says:

    Mr Gove today spelling it out to the LIEBOUR tossers that education really matters as to how our and I repeat our kids get on in life.
    Exactly what does the LIEBOR party do not get about this,education is the lifeblood of any society and in pursuing this goal you do need to pursue the things that really matter.
    Under the last Liebour lot,any kind of crap degree was ok,what a complete and utter load of boll–ks was that.

  189. 189
    The Ghost of William S. Burroughs says:

    Cornholed? Kinda difficult with prehensile piles, pops… No glot, clom Fliday.

  190. 190
    Jackthesmilingblack says:

    “We’re Sorry
    Commenting is currently disabled for essential maintenance. Please come back soon to post your comment.”
    The Telegraph’s seems to have got a bad case of NatWest meltdown. Or more likely an OTT attempt to control the debate. Don’t you just crack up when the Telegraph pontificates on free speech and elimination of censorship?
    Why so edgy, DT? Was it something I said?

  191. 191
    annette curton says:

    Adolf Hitler with Eva Braun circa 1933.

  192. 192
    stating the bleedin' obvious says:

    Because they’re not Labour.

  193. 193
    The Ghost of William S. Burroughs says:

    Kinda like an old-time East St. Louis junk dealer onna nod offen his own stash of rancid jism – the old fish-poison con from here to eternity. Some KGB swish/Young Liberal folksinger offer you instant eternal fix to Garden of Terminal Delights, you still wake up junk sick next morning in Mayan ball-court of screaming withdrawal. That’s Politics.

  194. 194
    Aunty Matter says:

    ‘Ejukshun’ is not for the proles, it’s for white middle class Guardian readers who can get a nice public sector job as a lesbian banana enforcer for Hackney council for 90K a year.

    You proles get £30 a week benefits or a crappy jog for £6.20 an hour if you’re lucky enough to find one not taken by someone from an other part of the world.

  195. 195
    The Telegraph used to be good, now it's utter dumbed-down shite says:

    Ahh, so you’re the person who still reads their website.

    Well done, you!

    It is shit, though, isn’t it? Anything new from Bryny Gordon?

  196. 196
    annette curton says:

    HSBC apologises for stopping the the cash flow of small businesses which may lead to their ruination, but it’s in our small print that we are not liable for internal fuck-ups, Mervyn King says so.

  197. 197
    The Ghost of William S. Burroughs says:

    Expensive? Needed a Platinum AmEx just to cop an eyecap fulla PG when I lived there… You sure she wasn’t turning hermaphrodite tricks for the Uranium concession?

  198. 198
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Not so much try to convert us, as confound us, is my guess, SAM. I think he fancies himself to be like that fellow in the pub who, when he hears someone who might be a bit in their cups stating some outlandish proposition, asks questions that will send his bibulous friend all a-sputtering.

  199. 199
    Socialism is a severe mental illness says:

    “Our three main policies are: Education, Education, Education.” – The Labour Party, 1997.

    “Schools must not produce winners.” – The Labour Party, 2010.

  200. 200
    The Ghost of William S. Burroughs says:

    Left out old spectral junkies, Pops…

  201. 201
    Britain the ruined country says:

    Talking of bollocks bbc – what about the bbc 6 programme tonight re the Greek debacle, the bbc body (presenter is going too far) called Stacey (what else and speaking mockney) presumed to educate us as to reality on the Grecian ground starting with “Ooh look, the Acropalimp – Oooer, have I said it right”…………it went downhill (Stygian depths) from there.

    Ignorant bastardess and the bbc for doing it with our money,

  202. 202
    Camoron is a Europhile cunt says:

    Interesting one for William “We are a sovereign nation” Hague to explain:

    “The draft code, which is available for review until July 26, will have to be sent before the European Commission before Parliament receives it towards the end of 2012; pending any delays or major objections, the first letters should go out in 2014.”

    http://www.techradar.com/news/internet/isps-three-strikes-policy-hitting-pirates-in-2014-1087016

  203. 203
    The Ghost of William S. Burroughs says:

    Jimmy… Jimmy… I remember that prolapsed proffered asshole, sorry, name… Didn’t I used to make you, kinda nasty, slow and greasy, in Tangiers, ’56? Or was that your father? Kinda hard to tell with all the bath salts cut in the KY these days.

  204. 204
    The Ghost of William S. Burroughs says:

    I hate to say it, but that is one sexy looking woman…

  205. 205
    Vladimir Putin says:

    Don’t forget Handy that you are a member of my democratic Party for which we have anonymously awarded you the Order of Lenin. Do you need medical help from us? You only have to say the word. I must admit that after two Russian owners of Portsmouth Football Club that have failed, we have to give your boys a chance.

  206. 206
    Merv the Morose Monetary Moron says:

    Can someone shove a squib up my arse?

  207. 207
    A two-faced lying cheating bully, sanctimonious git and bombastic bastard says:

    I abolished boom and bust!

  208. 208
    Jackthesmilingblack says:

    You’re right, The Daily Telegraph is shite, and a lackey of HMG. That’s why they pull the comments’ plug when the run of opinion moves against “the message” the government wants disseminate. That’s how they control the debate. Crude, but there’s no need to be subtle when so few are capable of thinking for themselves. And I say this with due respect.

  209. 209
  210. 210
    Not in my name who fucking voted for this ? says:

    My message to them is Fuck You and Fuck Your monetary Union.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18592135

  211. 211
    Igonikon Spack says:

    I finally broke it with my inane drivel.

    Igonikon Spack, USA

  212. 212
    not a machine says:

    It is perhaps easy to become confused with the Queens diamond Jubilee trip to Northern Ireland in so many ways it is celebration and thanks for and from the people of Northern Ireland , I personally have never had the chance to see Ireland, but I dont think of it now as a troubled place , despite seeing so many snapshots recently of what used to be regular news about the troubles , when I was younger. I would have liked to have seen that old Dublin of small Bars full of characture and chat , that was often written about but now appears to be gone , in a hen night and stag do scene .
    In some ways they are recent ghosts , as the troubles both created and left a cultural legacy of great pain and lost decades . I say lost , as so much was stifled on both sides , as you knew about life through the troubles from an early age , its poison indifferent to innocence , its losses so terrible when you have a relavtive time of peace , in which to wonder how different things could have been if only people had considered how much of the future was being devoured , how much culturally was being warped , how its stream of divsion ended up even in childrens lives in a form of madness of tone and language .

    The faces have to meet , I hope the lord is with them both today, for the handshake is about others , others yet to be born , the dead are not around to give there thanks for the change in outlook . It is perhaps one the most difficult reconcilations for both parties , so long has the dark narrative gone on until recently, how do you say sorry for so much killing , even if such a thing were possible just with two people meeting , how do people move forward into better times even with heavy hearts and troubling questions .
    The answer can only be , from a first meeting , then at some other time another , then further on another , until thoughts can meditated , forgiveness understood , the ill will ,that opened the door to evil , recognised for that road we know , that led to no good place and so much loss.
    It may be awkward as some times the first gestures can be , but to go back to filling the grave yards early , is that really gods gift to a new generation ??
    How will violent contempt become understanding and true forgiveness , how will the language change , so that bairns in prams wether in Dublin or Belfast live lives with more potential , joy and enquiry .

    My genuine hope is that the people of Ireland and Northern Ireland never go through that door again to such a dark place and its politicians can give even more considerations to its legacy in the people and minds that it so unfortunately blindly created . It is a land of Christian people and can be more so with a lamp at its feet to consider its footsteps out of such a time of tears and loss , to somewhere better .

  213. 213
    Empty head says:

    Can’t recall the details, but did not one of our previous Chancellors mention something about ignoring “teenage scribblers”?

    Looks like the lesson has still not been learned.

  214. 214
    Sacre bleu says:

    They sell beer in the bakery? Does the EU know?

  215. 215
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    It was most refreshing to hear Paxo give the Europhile nutter a good stuffing on Newsnight when she blamed the credit crunch for all Europe’s problems. Tripe was the word he used. For the first time I can remember we got a balanced debate on Europe.

  216. 216
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    Let these small people with their big ideas have their superunion, as long as we are not in it. Look what happened to the Soviet Empire and the Yugoslavian Empire. That didn’t stop wars. All it did was to increase tensions between member states. The bigger the boom in power these morons usurp, the sooner the bust will come.

  217. 217
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    You have to laugh at all the baloney about the Tories being the Nasty party. The reality is they are so determined to try to cast off that image (which will never go away anyway among the shameless, lefty bigots) they are bending over backwards to be the nice party, with U-turn after U-turn when they hear themselves being called nasty. That is causing many people to abandon them and go to UKIP, who are now the only party that stands for real Tory values. The Tories under Cameron have become a centre left party in all but name.

  218. 218
    Gonk says:

    Yes, likewise. Perhaps you also found the recent profile of George Galloway equally riveting. The first paragraph was lovely.

  219. 219
    Lord Scalded Bollock says:

    Good Morning campers.

    I sense another U-Turn coming up !

  220. 220

    I have been to NI and Eire a number of times. During the height of the troubles I saw the Falls Road – the menace in the air was palpable between the two communities. Then I went back a few years ago. Falls Road was not on my itinerary but I went out of my way to see it. The same road for sure but the feeling was totally different. There are still a number of problems lurking suppressed under the appеarances, with old diehards unwilling to give up their dogmatic positions, but the majority have been free to press ahead with their lives, become more prosperous (and make a few mistakes – the property market boomed and went bust) and become more open minded. We should never forget that the pеace process was initiated and led very strongly by John Major, well before Blair came to power. Naturally, the latter hogged the limelight although I will give him credit for picking it up and running with it.

  221. 221
  222. 222
    Zeno says:

    But whose seat?

  223. 223
    Richypoo says:

    Georgio Moroda I think you will find..

  224. 224
    British Citizen says:

    I guess some people finally appreciate the £7 billion a year acknowledged subvention and 60% of GDP coming from the Public Sector.


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