Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
How ITV Crashed Out Online Last Night | MediaGuido
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
Not a clue
but it’s shit
I did warn 2 weeks ago that Rihanna would play a part in it – and got a FAIL stamp for my pains.
Now look at the Tweet panel…
The truth will out itself on a tittle-tattle website, you may be sure…
Remember you heard it here first
You have been allocted two numbers. This is not possible in Systems of Logic Based on Ordinals.
Better apply for that bottle of Jura Malt Whisky.
Guido has been Desmonded
Order-Order – The new home of sensationalist made up shit
Heir Apparent to Yellan, Morgan, Wade, McGuire, MacKenzie and Ferrari
No, the screen display is screwed up. Moniker has Fred West Paving’s number as well as his own, Fred has none.
And now, I’m sure his many admirers will wish to send their hopes for a speedy and complete recovery.
“Portsmouth South MP Mike Hancock is in hospital awaiting major heart surgery; how much will it take him out of politics?”
Not very good
Honesty is never the best policy on this site. Sometimes I believe Rich and Mark are actually Ms and Miss Fawkes cos the artistic talent ranges from play school to infant level.
Better to make suggestions like -Different. Mind bending. Lateral thinking or similar crap compliments to humour our host.
But they would accept lies if they are in the nature of praise.
Seems like Guido and Co spend far too much time in Westminster and rae beginning to turn into everything they claim the right to mock.
The trouble with people who seek inspiration from their mobile phones is that they are as dull as dishwater
…without even the flavour as solace.
As opposed to Gordmong, who seeks retaliation WITH a mobile phone.
INCOMING!!!
Could this be the worst cartoon here ever?
There’s plenty of competition. This one wouldn’t make it through the group stages.
Challenging matter drawing humans. Even attempting a finger tip, a knuckle and a thumb has managed to resink the Titanic.
This is the Ashley Young of cartoons
This is to political cartoons what Ashley Cole is to penalty-taking.
Modbotted. Reposted. This is to political cartoons what Ashley C0le is to penalty-taking.
Don’t menshn the war
Don’t mention the score.
I dont recognise the ears!
Who is it?
Whoever it is he’s left handed.
One fingernail is long, maybe female, just trying to help Holmes.
The thumb is not up its own arse, so that rules out the Labour Party
Trying to help with what?
You clearly understand my methods.
I’m new here,but find the cartoon rather witty !
Call NHS Direct.
…on the way back from Specsavers.
Italy’s strategy play book:
Step 1: pass the ball to Balotelli
Step 2: if in doubt, refer to step 1
So why didn’t somebody get stuck in there and hack his ankes till he hobbled off the pitch?
England’s strategy: defend and when you get the ball hack it into the Italian half.
Pathetic. They didn’t deserve to get to extra time. Totally outclassed by a shit Italian team that Germany will trounce.
It all could have been so different with Harry in charge
Or pass the ball to Rooney and he loses possesion (every time).
and if you happen to get the ball level with the Italian penalty area through a flukey deflection, either 1. work the ball into midfield, across the field, or 2. track backwards:
until it’s safe to play it to Hart, fro whom it can be safely hoofed into the air ready for a mis-header to direct it back to Balotelli…
If awarded a throw in, go to 2.
All I can surmise is that the entire England squad are being ‘carried’ by their respective foreign team mates back in the Premier League. Not one of them could hold or pass the ball let alone run with it. Fitness levels were appalling. Yet I wonder which team was the the highest paid in the Tournament.
I also wonder what tax rates they pay at as well?
Remember, we’re all in this together!
Scott Parker looks like Michael J Fox, but he’s a bit shakier
+1 – first half, played well and were almost as good as Italy. Second half, came out as if they had done a “Life on Mars” and been returned to the 1970′s. 2/10, could do better. Better do better in 2014!
????????.
another tory distraction
another unoriginal, meaning-free, socialist soundbite
Sounds like my kind of girl.
So according to this cart……errrr Picture , Nadine Dorries snorts coke and will fuck you for a couple of lines
I hope Skid@Mark and Kennedy have a good lawyer
We thought it was a tip to Gideon about how to get on sizzlingly with the Danish finance minister
We need Holmes, not clear is she blows or sucks.
Don’t forget Fawkesy as publisher
The socialist EU and the idiotic Euro is screwing up Europe’s economy forcing millions into poverty and unemployment and we get this witless, juvenile crap to comment on.
No extra charge!
Tittle-tattle, gossip and rumours is what this blog is all about. If you want heavy, pay for the Times.
Pay for the Times. Are you mad?
All right, the Daily Star on Sunday, then.
My next door neighbour is shagging his secretary. Is that what you mean? But do you really care? I couldnt care less if Mensch was having a threesome with Tom Watson and Michael Jackson’s Chimp.
Let’s see if that get’s in the rumour mill. I suppose these hacks have to earn their bread somehow. It wasn’t just Murdoch and the NI’s fault for all the hacking. It’s all the saddos who are so interested in all this cheap gossip and rumours who I blame. What IS important is what is actually happening in Westminster and Brussels and to our crumbling democracy. I thought this was something Guido was interested in.
Apologies for duff apostrophes.
We have common ground again! We can’t keep doing this you know – people will talk…. oh shit, that’s what this blog is FOR!
I see Lord Coe has reached level 10 on the Caligula scale and will be running with the Olympic torch.
I’m sure he’ll demand that Steve Ovett carries it on the final leg to the cauldron
I didn’t know Ann Widdecombe was like that!
Thank goodness all the hype, bullshit and spin is over. The spin about Enland’s chances in the Euros was to sell newspapers and advertising. The Enland team must get around £1.5 million a week between them. How can this be justified. The Italian team must have been their worst team in years, but were far better than England.
Talk about hype and bull shit just watched LeN Mccluskey on QT say the public pensions pot is in surplus and got a round of applause what world are these people living in what a lying bastard he is.
It may very well be in surplus. It probably got half the proceeds of the last QE.
Eh?-start another war?
Following World War II, government spending cuts led to an incredible economic boom.” – http://ow.ly/bLFFd
In the US of A.
Uk was following a good course until crashing into Wilson jetty, the ship was dry docked up to 1979. Re-engined took up cruising to 1997.
Krugman at the New York Times was dispensing the same economic advice a week or two ago. Let’s start another war!
I take full credit for wishing Ingerland well!
The 5 live breakfast team have been knocked out of the Euro 2012 championship. After some uninspiring performances the overpaid presenters are said to be distraught that their tax payer funded doss in the sun has come to an end. Team captain Nick E Campbell said they have learnt some important lessons for Brazil 2014, but at least they can get back for the tennis.
Nearly crashed the car listening to that shit this morning into work
The only answer I get when Googling her novels read like they were written by (surrounded by inverted commas to narrow it down) is the following:
…a virgin.
Not quite what was expected.
Not being a tweeter I assume the the hash tag name given is the one sending the tweet.
Nigel Kennedy is a violinist? So the tweet must have a musical undertone. Die / Mendllesohn
Cameron is well read so he probably means that famous Gulag writer Soldier Nitsin.
The Piers Morgan tweet just makes no sense at all.
Bit hopeful there…
All a matter of interpretation as now being suggested by Leveson.
What a lovely soothing voice.
Reminds me of “Listen with Mother”
Judges will start branding themselves soon.
Mark my words.
Spreads straight from the fridge
Helps you work, rest and play
Leves(on) your hands lovely and soft
Sort of
Ah Moniker, who art in Heaven………
[one r in erected BTW, Monika. re: previous page]
Egypt’s Islamist President-elect Mohammed Morsy says wants to expand ties with Iran http://reut.rs/LjXJVU
No problem. We can nuke Cairo same day as Teheran
It’s a wonderful continuation of a process of change started 80 years ago. The Egyptian people instigated a revolution (inspired by the A-rab Spring) against oppression and now have now used their hard-won democratic rights to vote for…er… an end to democracy and freedom. It’s a great victory!
Cameron receives £20,000 a month in housing benefit.
I hear Tony Blair has a £20 million housing benefit.
Use LLPs and LPs. It’s so much more baroque.
http://bit.ly/wl2nXw
It is absolutely disgraceful that the Tory fascist monsters are proposing to cut housing benefit for under 25s. I am seriously considering renting out my Italian villa to these unfortunates at a much reduced rent. Does 2000 euros per week seem reasonable?
Maybe I should avoid order-order until Tuesdays.
Just write about something else. I do like how Guido has virtually no “guide-lines” for his blog commenters.
Perhaps you would rather look at this:
The Guradina are tax dodgers.
When will Hester resign?
Has she got a tick in your little record book Boris?
Brian making his excuses????????
Haven’t I done well? £325bn quantiatively eased out of my arxe. Puts Spain’s £80bn bank bail out in perspective methinks.
P.S. How’s my elevation to the HoL coming along Dave?
Can someone please explain this cartoon?
Spain requests a bail-out.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-18577951
Who will be helping to pay for that nonsense?
Oh, it will be me.
Never mind though, discussing Mensch and Watson’s habits is far more interesting.
Is this telling us that Louise Mensch does coke and is a bad fuck? I gave up on the middle one.
If so, how do they know? Any pictures?
Just asking.
It’s even misspelled. Or is that the humour.