Rich & Mark’s Monday Morning View
Greece v Germany. No extra time, straight to penalties…
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Andrew Pierce on Ed Balls…
“Porky Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls sweet-talked guests at a fund-raising dinner by saying if he wasn’t a politician, he would be a chef. That’s not surprising, since he was accused of cooking the Treasury books when he was Gordon Brown’s boot boy.”
UKIP Official Policy Dept says:
Bloody foreigners, coming over here taking all our twitter followers
Vhat?
Is it Ann Widdecombe?
Nah! This time it is Rihanna.
I was in clairvoyant mode last week.
is it rooney ?
No, it’s just another shit cartoon. Can’t we change the cartoonist, or is he Guido’s brother-in-law?
It looked like David Mellor to me. Wrong colour shirt though.
Lettuce pray.
Germany v Greece in the Euro…so what’s new?
It will be a game of two halves. The Germans dominating Greek territory in the first half and bringing on their killer subs in the second.
Adolf did it ze wrong vey, I shall not make the same mistake.
Ve hev veys to make you pay!
Those who do not learn from history are condemned to rep*eat it:
Time line
2001: Maximum Imbecile hires one million public sector workers and pays them with increasing amounts of borrowed money until 2008. Hard-of-thinking hail ‘miracle economy’. Perpetual boom proclaimed.
2008 – present: Perpetual bust arrives.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-18471239
It gives the president strong backing for his tax-and-spend programme.
These results mean the Socialists will not have to rely on the support of the Greens or far left to push through their plans to hire more public workers
Your repeating yourself.
You are = You’re (not “your”) 0/10 fail.
+1
Probably foreign.
Ahh FFS, I wus in a rush wasni.
Sorry, jgm2, but too good an opportunity to miss:
Those who misquote George Santayana are condemned to paraphrase him.
Oh look it’s Aunty. Yasmin Alibhai Brown, you could’ve been gentler she’s getting Botox. In her brain.
At last someone I recognise. Tom Watson.
Watson’s fat – and I mean …
The Big Fat Greek Paymaster.
Entschuldigen sie, bitte. Der Gross Gross Greek Fuhrer. Loses a little in ze translation, mein dumbkoffs.
Not even trying to figure out who the hell it is, it’s got football in it so that makes it even more none interesting to me.
Cilla Black trying to disguise her scouse accent?
I thought that was a scouse accent it is so bad.
Nope. Cilla Black is not that attractive. Of course, if the Greeks were as economically efficient as the scousers there would be no problem. They would descend on Munich and clear all debt in one shoplifting outing.
Okay. I’ll bite. Why is Merkel in Green? Is this some reference to Oi*rl*and?
The German ‘away strip’, I suppose, but they would have no need to use the away strip because Greece play in blue.
They should play in red.
From Farrow and Ball.
http://www.farrow-ball.com/introduction-to-colour/content/fcp-content
Overdraft Red.
No the Greeks are in the red. To the tune of about £800Billion.
I thought the German away strip was black with deaths head insignia?
It’s a good job the Germans don’t play cricket. I can just picture them batting in a Stahlhelm with a visor.
What I know about football you could write on the back of a Greek government surplus.
Next to Vacant Ned’s policies.
The Greek government has a massive surplus. It can be found in a private account at Credit Suisse under the name Papadopoulos.
Ha ha!
You can’t invent this stuff – out of devilment, I just checked the Greek-English dictionary for government surplus.
It responded Sorry, no translations found!
http://enel.dict.cc/?s=government+surplus
shes in green because the Germans pick the ref
Tony thought Gordon was bonkers.
Thanks a bunch, Tony! You still foisted him upon us, didn’t you?
You cυnt.
So Tony was scared of Brown then and could only say things about Brown from far away, so Tony is a coward then?.
Not Just Blair. Remember, once Blair was edged aside, nobody dared stand against the Maximum Imbecile. Miliband bottled it several times.
Be fair; the danger is only equalled by getting between George Osborne and a line of white powder.
Or Kevin Keegan in his Hamburg days.
So the Greeks carry on imitating a wasp, persistently banging its head against the closed pane of a window when the other pane is open.
The Greeks voted to carry on receiving free money. They aren’t that daft. Its the fecking idiots giving it them who are the morons.
The French seem to have the same problem.
Mad Wasp Disease?
Elton John?
Too thin and too much hair.
Nick Robinson in drag wig + false hair.
Moonlighting?
More like Anne Robinson when the Botox wears off.
CRMM wrote on an earlier thread that if the Cuban missile crisis had not been resolved we would not be able to enjoy Rich and Mark’s monday morning view. ??????
Am I missing something here.?
Miss Quote must have give you a quick flash:
http://tinyurl.com/cg8zqm8
Re-read the quote. Almost a double negative, which makes you sound like the wife.
Still missing it ! :-]
Darling! Didn’t you know it was me?
Nial Ferguson had made a remark which I felt was overstated even allowing for the problems of comparison.
I was attempting to couple that perceived invalidity with the impending revelation of our beloved cartoonists, lightening the load with a sprinkling of
Levesonlevity.In vain, it would appеar.
1st one of these that actually made me laugh (albeit not loudly..)
Best cartoon EVER
Chorus: Are you new here?
Not saying much though, is it?
It IS a bit like saying the best Greek government budget ever – if you start with such low expectations……..
This morning at our new location in Athens we are very happy.
Should think so. Chernobyl would be preferable to Salford.
Don’t you be sending your economic migrants and pikey delinquents here.
Salford is the pits, long live this Euro crisis. We’re going back to Spain next then on to Rome and eventually gay Paree.
Ali-stir Campbell:
Piss taken on HIGNFY but spins it he did well
Piss taken by Armando Iannucci on twitter re OBE. Spins that Iannucci was wrong
What a tosser
Alkie Campbell and everyone who read that story knows that the Ianucci retort about three little letters ‘WMD’ was unbeatable.
Janet Street-Pawta hasn’t aged well, has she? Gor blimey guv, even by R&M’s standards this is not a good start to the week.
Now you know why she is better known as Janet Shit-snorter.
John Prescott
In a wig
Playing football for Ireland.
Obvious.
Rich & Mark obviously party well over the weekend, so the Monday hangover will always affect them.
The Greeks refuse to turn a crisis into a drachma.
+1
You tried – and failed – to turn an advertising slogan into a cheap joke about our Greek EU ‘partners’. The original slogan was ‘We won’t make a drama out of a crisis’. I should know; I worked for the firm that used this in their adverts.
Score ‘A’ for effort, but ‘E-’ for result.
Still made me smile though…
Lets face it they have turned a Drachma into a crisis.
According to the doom and gloom BBC this scenario is almost the end of the world.
One useless Euro. There’s only one useless Euro.
Goin’ daarn. Goin’ daarn. Going daarn.
(But not in any sexual way of course – with that. I bet that’s curdled the milk on your cornflakes).
Is it a depilatory ad? Hairy German Chancer strikes again.
It’s all down to ze Veet.
Footsie up 63. Thanks Greece.
Spanish bond yields over 7%.
Obviously the UK banks should borrow as much printed money as possible from the BoE at 0.5% and lend it to the Spanish at 7%.
What could possibly go wrong?
It’s gone negative now dude. The markets do not reflect the celebrations of the BBC.
This happened last week.
We’ve sorted Spain – Footsie up.
Except we haven’t – Footsie down.
They haven’t a clue.
The Greeks have spoken – so when does it all kick off then?
7.30 BBC1.
When it finally dawns on her she is going to have to bail out Spain, Italy and soon France as well, she is going to be one sour Kraut.
Here is the solution – give ‘em back all the Gold that was nicked from the Greeks on your 1939-45 “Tour” of Europe!
But what a way to take over Europe.
Hollande will be having kittens.
I say!! – be a jolly sport – can I play with you?
CBeebies is good this morning.
Tonight, the Republic of Ireland wear black armbands to remember a terrorist atrocity 18 years ago to the day .. the same day the Republic of Ireland team sang IRA songs on the way to stadium in New York.
WTF has Michael Jackson’s Monkey got to do with the Euro’s
Or is it him throwing all the Bananas ?
The following piece by Boris could have been written by Nigel Farage four years ago, apart from all the educated posh crap. But why weren’t you saying this four years ago, Boris, if you are so clever?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/9337911/Dithering-Europe-is-heading-for-the-democratic-dark-ages.html#
“There is no plan for Greece to leave the euro, or none that I can discover. No European leader dares suggest that this might be possible, since that would be to profane the religion of Ever Closer Union. Instead we are all meant to be conniving in a plan to create a fiscal union which (if it were to mean anything) would mean undermining the fundamentals of Western democracy. “
Is bubbles a reference to West Ham?
Dreadful rubbish.
Nigel was and is, correct.
A prettier version of Jacqui Smith?
Did someone mention Damien McBride intercepting emails in 2009 sent for the attention of Jackie?
Harriet Hardman realises there are votes in Football but Yevette has all of the Balls.
Whoever she/he is they forgot to bring their Crystal ball. Witch/Wizard.