June 9th, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

This week 89,714 visitors visited 219,561 times viewing 344,094 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    ALI JIZZ,EAR says:

    Good morning all

  2. 2
    Xenocrates says:

    Where are you?

  3. 3
    ALI JIZZ,EAR says:

    I’m Ear

  4. 4
    a non says:

    Dead heat?

  5. 5
    Saturn says:

    I’m fed up with always being last. can I swap places with the Sun for an orbit or two?

  6. 6
  7. 7
    Number 7 says:

    Firther to “Guardian Exodus” in Seen Elsewhere:-


  8. 8
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Two number 1 comments. Is that a first? The wonders of modern technology.

  9. 9
    Butterfly Flap says:

    This creature is a trougher cashing in on her husband’s holding of a public office. Almost as awful as that Fergie woman.

  10. 10
    Lembit's cheeky dildo says:

    She can stay there and get split by Mandingo instead of dwarf lobbing his sausage down the Mall.

  11. 11
    Butterfly Flap says:

    I don’t do facebook. Nor do I do the Guardian.

  12. 12

    Err! Uranus is even further back. ;-)

  13. 13

    A certain someone can perhaps neither spell nor add up?

  14. 14
    National Socialist says:

    “Putting an individual through university generates £227k for the economy.”

    Tony Blair was right on this one.

  15. 15
    Barrow Boys rule says:

    Alan Sugar generates rather more than that. Shows what a waste of dosh University is.

  16. 16
    Disgruntled Sheffielder says:

    Not working in a call centre at 5p over minimum wage it doesn’t!

  17. 17
    pundit says:

    Both Blair and Brown went to university. They were both immense for the economy.

  18. 18
    Adolf Hitler aka Der Führer und Reichskanzler says:

    I was a National Socialist once.

  19. 19
    Richard Branson Sir says:

    I could not get into university so I became a successful business man instead and generated billions for the UK.

  20. 20
    Anonymous says:

    It depends on what course you do at University. Some fat dyke who studies gender politics and then gets a 60K job working for Hackney Council as a Lesbian adviser doesn’t produce any wealth or anything useful.

    Even a halfwit Guardian reading idiot should know that.

  21. 21
    Golly says:

    I am a British citizen and a Graduate from a British University.

    By choice I do not live in Britain , do not pay taxes there and have spent barely 6 weeks in the country in 10 years.

    Education broadens the mind.

  22. 22
    All our check-out operators have degrees....makes you proud to be British says:

    Equally when you graduate you find that there are no jobs available and if you are lucky you might end up working p/time as a shelf stacker at minimum wage..a job you could have got at 16 without the expense or bother of going to uni at all……

  23. 23
    Oh Poo says:

    Houston we have a problem. Two number ones and no number two.

  24. 24
    Reader says:

    a cracking week Guido.

    Good luck on Tuesday :)

  25. 25
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    Obviously when you graduated a degree was worth something

  26. 26
    Anonymous says:

    says the bum bandit.

  27. 27
    Anonymous says:

    I notice the IPPR isn’t being reported as a ‘left wing’ organisation by the BBC. Why not? They happily report the Tax payers alliance or Migration Watch as ‘right wing’

  28. 28
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Get over here and suck my knob pronto, bitch.

  29. 29
    Welsh Windbreak says:

    Phew. Good to see Wales has performed magnificently in its role as England’s windbreak and flood defence.

  30. 30
    setting 70% of the media climate says:

    The BBC should report itself as a left wing organisation ffs.

  31. 31
    Raving Loon says:

    Because the BBC has a left-wing bias.

  32. 32
    wahy you've never had etc says:

    At least you’re now educated to the extent that you’re aware how much shit you’re in, and therefore how fucking miserable you should be.

  33. 33
    Anonymous says:

    I’m sick of their soft left, goody two shoes, self righteous bullshit. Subscription only.

  34. 34
    Xenocrates says:

    I recommend Imodium.

  35. 35
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Hold all tickets pending Stewards’ enquiry.

  36. 36

    Morning Tat!

    Out of your wank pit remarkably early today. Did you accidentally shit it?

  37. 37

    says the projectionist

  38. 38
    Blowing Whistles says:

    A bit of clarification needed there Pundit.

    They were both immense for their puppet masters who control the economy – Stupid.

    They control the economy, the political pygmies, the lobbyists and the excessively greedy interest rates.

  39. 39
    MO says:

    You’re full of shit.

  40. 40
    Neo Guido says:

  41. 41
    Archer Karcher says:

    Surely you mean voluntary subscription?

  42. 42
    annette curton says:

    Minus £227 Billion, what went wrong there?.

  43. 43
    Raving Loon says:

    Not in our lifetimes I’m afraid. Pigs will fly before the licence fee is abolished.

  44. 44
    Blowing Whistles says:

    To the Scat. Its good to have at least one constant plank on this blog – keep up the wood work. Keep nailing ‘em constantly.

  45. 45
    Ed Miliband says:

  46. 46
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    It’s doing no harm to the professors’ and administrators’ economic situation, at any rate.

  47. 47
    coming to a pleasant little relaxing football bar soon... says:

    Meanwhile, over at the Euros…

  48. 48
    annette curton says:

    Susan Boyles cosmetic surgery has turned out brilliantly, but what has it done to her voice?.

  49. 49
    the green eyed monster says:

    You bitch.

  50. 50
    the tolpuddle thickos says:

    These idiots never learn that the general populace do not blame governments in these situations, but the unions. They really are as thick as shit.

  51. 51
    starry beast says:

    Remeber not to buy the star on sunday nor read it online

  52. 52
    Sean Penny says:

    Free the los malpenis islanders from slavery, man!

    USA, out of the way! You limeys need to let those islander people escape your Imperialistic construct, dude. No representation with intoxication!

    Peru needs to throw your goddam, Stephen Fry, Twinings tea into the sea and set the malpenisies free.


  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    No, I meant mandatory subscription, what do you fucking think?

  54. 54
    Hariett Hatchetface says:

    This must be banned.

    I will make sure Jacqui Smith’s husband hasn’t got a dvd of it for his late night activities.

  55. 55
    Anonymous says:

    He nails ‘em alright the filthy fucker, and he’s a plank, so well done.

  56. 56

    Do you remember when gu/ido was on {nicky campbell?} the BBC and they introduced him as a right wing blogger.

    “Thanks for inviting me on the left wing BBC.”

    They went totally Nokia over it.

  57. 57
    titter feed says:

    hehe, BW called Sc a plank.

  58. 58

    Hello everyone.
    Spain here.

    Can we have 64 billion euro please. Otherwise the Euro collapses and then how will we manage to ensure an airport in every town and a motorway linking every village.

    We’ll pay you back next week.

  59. 59
    Guido says:

    Thanks. What’s happening on Tuesday then?

  60. 60
    eurobillions winner says:

    I’m rich!! RICH beyond my wildest dreams, I tell you!! One main number and two lucky stars. Whooopeee!

  61. 61
    Gordon Brown, shooed away from dustbins at CurrrrrCudeeee Asylum for Idiots and Moral Defectives says:

    I’m looking for my Crown!

  62. 62
    Or says:

    masturbate in a bus queue

  63. 63
    Mr Barry O'Drama says:

    And I say to my fellow Amuricans, – the way to beat debt is to spend what you haven’t got. That’s my genius to spot that!

  64. 64
    South of the M4 says:

    Travel eh? I guess your credentials are that you are an expert on the gravy train.

  65. 65
    Dr StrainedLove says:

    I’m developing one – with a Lottery Grant of course.

  66. 66
    Nigel says:

  67. 67
    Fat Lesbo Dyke in Hackney or your local Town Hall says:

    Oi! – we’re a National Treasure!

  68. 68
    scamelot says:

    That should keep you in cider for, er, a day and a bit, ew?

  69. 69
    The Reinforced Umbrella Company says:

    Scrap the licence fee now.

  70. 70
    i can well imagine ! says:

    they didn’t offer to give him his own show then?

  71. 71
    annette curton says:

  72. 72
    ALI JIZZ,EAR says:

    Will you be taking your Pikey fuck buddy with you ?

  73. 73
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Mornin mate ! I see the piss soaked spaz is up early this morning

    what a fuckin waste of good benefit money that dirt bag is !

  74. 74
    Drought Watch 2012 says:

    Day 67 of the great drought of 2012:

    At last it has stopped raining, there is even some sunshine. That makes a total of 4 rainless days. The bad news is the great drought will be back tomorrow, heavy rain is forecast.

  75. 75
    annette curton says:

    Obama is now saying it all started in Europe, what do you think about that?

  76. 76
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Think you may have been hitting THIS “Crown” a little hard, oh Great World Saviour?

  77. 77
    The perpetual student watch says:

    Talking of graduations can anyone tell me if Clare Solomons has managed to graduate yet ?

  78. 78
    Gordon Brown says:

    Schrodinger’s Cat gives me the wood.

  79. 79
    Spingtime for Angela in Germany. says:

    Got to hand it to Frau Merkel. Without firing a single shot.

    She now rules a unified Germany in control of Ireland, Greece, Portugal and Spain, forcing them all to go without while sending the proceeds back to their new motherland. Soon she will have control of Italy, an uneasy but dominant relationship with France and a full on war with the UK. Just like old times.

  80. 80
    a non says:

    Guido and Neo are signing on as sperm donators.
    Quick tug here and there in front of an unsuspecting audience of their pee-ers.

  81. 81
    Gordoom Brown MP {part time} says:

    Obama Beach knows his stuff.
    I endorse this message.

  82. 82
    To be fair says:

    To be fair if you recall Nicky Campbell introduced Guido as a Facist .

  83. 83

    She already has Italy. Berlusconi went ages ago. To spend more time with his ‘Families.’

    She’s done very well.

    But will need Poland, Norway, Belgium, Holland, Luxembourg, Denmark,Libya,Algeria, Tunisia, Morocco, Ukraine, Finland, Romania, Bosnia, Hungary, Austria, Slovakia, Czech republic, Croatia,Albania, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Macedonia, Serbia, Latvia, Estonia, and France to beat Adolf’s record.

  84. 84
    The BBC says:

    “Nearly 40% of Unite members working for 21 bus companies voted 94% in favour of strike action.”

    That’s pretty much unanimous, then.

  85. 85
    Von Rumpy Pumpy says:

    Yes Bill, but it is only Saturday.

  86. 86
    Blowing Whistles says:

    The Eurozone crisis.

    While the politicals scratch their heads for a ‘solution’ to the euro and the debts

    Here is the simple solution to their promlem which they don’t want to mention. “Dissolution”

    Dictionary meanings:
    1. the resolution or seperation into component parts; disintegration.
    2. destruction by breaking up and dispersing.
    3. the termination of a meeting or assembly, such as Parliament.
    4. the termination of a formal or legal relationship, such as a business enterprise, marriage etc

    Their ‘partnerships’ – are holed below the bows. The Euro is sunk – it can’t be ‘bailed’ out with fictitious money. The showboating must stop.

    The elephant in the room is “The EU’s still un-audited accounts”.

  87. 87
    Spingtime for Angela in Germany. says:

    Yes it had just occured tome that the Italians true to form were the first to surrender. Belgium is an odd one but I believe with Herman Achille Van Rompuy on side she already has them in her pocket.

  88. 88
    Anonymous says:

    That is not true.

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Just like the Cameroons.

  90. 90
    wanky eussr supporter says:

    That’s just it, we don’t think.

  91. 91
    To be fair says:

    To be fair shes doing a degree that takes 20 odd years to complete, still on the plus side it allows her to build a political base by being a full time activist within the NUS , every cloud and all that.

  92. 92
    Blowing Whistles says:

    In 2007 (to be corrected if wrong) Britain paid back its last War Loan for WW2.

    Surely some number cruncher can come up with the ‘total’ paid back – year upon year for some 60 years … and what of the interest rates?

    Follow the money – as they can’t deny (Watergate) – who got the money? Who’s been benefitting ‘financially’ from all who got involved?

  93. 93
    Frankie Hollande says:

    We will hold out for at least 7 days.
    Which is a day longer than last time.

  94. 94
    Gary Barlow OBE says:

    There should be no reward for failure.

  95. 95
    Schrödinger's crack says:

    Get a room guys ffs.

  96. 96
    Ed Miliband says:

  97. 97
    AC1 says:

    He has terrible problems because tat’s mother cannot accept that tat is a gayer.

  98. 98
    Butterfly Flap says:

    Censored. What a wonderful world.

  99. 99
    AC1 says:

    >excessively greedy interest rates

    1% too much for you???

  100. 100
    annette curton says:

    That’s OK Irna, keep him there for as long as possible.

  101. 101
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Scum like Sally Bercow actually believe they are doing a worthwhile job. Sad but true.

  102. 102
    AC1 says:

    NickC: “I work for the state and would like a bigger state”
    Fascist: “Everything in the state, nothing outside the state”
    Guido: “State’s crap at everything”

    Anyone see which one’s nearer to fascist??

  103. 103
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is he waxing lyrical?

  104. 104
    I don't need no doctor says:

    She has ways of controlling Europe.

  105. 105
    AC1 says:

    We must protect bank bond-holders from losing money {they lent at a risk premium} at all {taxpayer}cost!

    Anyone see a pattern??

  106. 106
    Gromit says:

    He’s crackers.

  107. 107
    Nick Robinson says:

    Your bottom hole still gives me the wood, sir.

  108. 108
    Forkbender says:

    Why should Guido or his oppo work for the BBC, he works for Dirty Desmond now and Dirty Des has his own TV channel , Ch 5 plus one or two of the other variety, they should see if Dirty Des would like a current affairs/news program hosted by the Two Guidos.

  109. 109
    Forkbender says:

    In any case who is Nicky Campbell, means nowt to me

  110. 110
    Hal Loomy says:

    I’ll bet Guido wrenched his daughter’s laptop from her just as she was in the middle of something important on Faceache, typed a comment on her’s and his own computer and then simultaneously pressed ‘submit’ to huge imaginary applause. Very cheesey.

  111. 111
    Forkbender says:

    Who on earth gives a monkeys it is the London Olympic games

  112. 112
    Sally Ho! says:

    Remind me again – what does she actually do?

  113. 113
    Forkbender says:

    I have never bought it or read it, I think it is one of those rags like the Sun, taken to the toilet, and in days gone by would have been cut into small pieces, a piece of string threaded through the sheets and hung up on a rusty nail .

  114. 114
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    I think she’s in EastEnders, dear.

  115. 115
    Forkbender says:

    Have you been on Gideon’s snow again

  116. 116
    Forkbender says:

    Dubya was an expert at spending money that he (the State) had not got

  117. 117
    annette curton says:

    About 8% of Bus Drivers in favour of taking strike action then, LOL, don’t you all just love the BBC’s ‘balanced’ use of statistics to support the Crow comrades.

  118. 118
    Forkbender says:

    Nigel old chap why not offer your financial expertise to the Spannish government, if and when you manage to get Spain on the straight and narrow, then and only then will you be trusted with the UK economy.

  119. 119
    Ed Milibanned says:

    Has anyone seen my policy document ? I left it on a sheet here somewhere.

  120. 120
    Ed Miliband says:

    Normal bloke aint i : http://t.co/SnXAEei9

  121. 121
    Forkbender says:

    Yep, it sounds just like the US, UK etc common sense went out of the window and idiocy took its place

  122. 122

    Wotcher mate!

    Late in replying as I have been working all day – makes a change, lol.

    It’s people like TaT give the word cυnt a bad name…

  123. 123
    Forkbender says:

    Gordy it was a paper party crown with little bits of tinsel on it, of no value what so ever

  124. 124
    subversive train driver (central line) says:

    What a bunch of lazy fucking wankers. They should try earning a living staring into a huge black hole 8 hours at a time 24/7.
    These c’unts don’t know they was born, FFS. What I’d give to have trees, flowers and topless birds jumping out at me from all angles. Lazy fucks.

  125. 125
    Forkbender says:

    No, just waxing

  126. 126
    Sunny says:

  127. 127
    National Socialist says:


  128. 128
    smoggie says:

    Not sure what the point of this post is. I’ve done something similar except that my opinion is the more I travel the more I appreciate Britain. I’m never happier than when I come home on leave even if the weather is shite.

  129. 129
    I go off on a bender says:

    I’d quite like to see all the various Guidos co-hosting The Wright Stuff with that Matthew wotsisname. He’s had it all his own way for far too long IMHO.

  130. 130
    Numba kruncha says:

    Bit like that Irish referendum where 50.6% of the population bothered to vote, of which 60% vote for Yes. So that means that only 30% of the population wanted a yes vote and the other 70% seemed to differ. Now THAT’S what you call a mandate (or in Hattie’s case a ‘persondate’).

  131. 131
    Hue more us says:

    Ah!! So that’s where the expression “blickballs” came from.

  132. 132
    Nigel Farage says:

    Down with this sort of thing!

  133. 133
    from the litter tray....., says:

    *swoons* How does you do that, honey?? It’s like sooo magical!!

  134. 134
    Be still my beating heart says:

    Enjoyed the unique camera angles in this version of J’en Ai Marre.

    Here’s a new discovery:

  135. 135
    Hue more us says:

    Sorry, that’s far too difficult for us normal people to understand. Have you ever thought of changing your name to Mindbender?

  136. 136

    It appеars that my thoughts require emending where they concern the burqa.

  137. 137
    Hugo Quarterpast says:

    ’tis the Curse of the Weird Babbitt.

  138. 138
    Cold hearted (but relaxed) says:

    Is that like chillaxing – sort of waxing in the fridge?

  139. 139
    Little Miss Fawkes says:

    Spot on. Nail on head etc. Then he did his oh-so-cool NOT dance around the kitchen in his budgie-smugglers, everything wobbling like jelly, until me and my friend Amanda pretended to vomit everywhere and he gave my computer back, sat down and wrote another comment to himself.
    I wasn’t looking at Facebook, BTW. Daddy told me to stay away from there unless I wanted to get acne, whatever that is. I was actually on e-Bay selling some gold coins.

  140. 140

    I know when I am licked.

  141. 141
    hugh morphry says:

    Ah. Them were the days. I used to enjoy reading the wife’s arsehole whilst giving her a good banging from behind.

  142. 142
    Anonymous says:

    Just ‘bender’ will do nicely methinks.

  143. 143
    cowboy gynaecologist says:

    I’m with you, brother

  144. 144
    annette curton says:

    Just injected himself with rat venom using a Bic Biro, what a clown!

  145. 145
    Totals her Porsche says:

    Lindsay Lohan. I would.

  146. 146
    cowboy gynaecologist says:

    “Not sure what the point of this post is.” You’re new here, aren’t you?

  147. 147
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Try Margarte Hodge – for starters – didn’t she fez up at Islington and then as Childrens Minister < Her reward for you guessed it failure.

    And look at her position now!!!
    And her Hubby's a judge!!!

  148. 148
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Is there a split along his tongue as he speaks about being English?

  149. 149
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Isn’t she just an affliction attached to another Berk?

  150. 150
    Cloudy says:

    We have a tight comments policy aimed at fostering constructive debate.
    We believe in free speech but not your right to abuse our space.
    Abusive, sarcastic or silly comments may be deleted.
    Misogynist, racist, homophobic and xenophobic comments will be deleted.
    Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy.

    *Yawns* Where’s the fun in that, then?

  151. 151
    Jim says:

  152. 152
    Mark Oaten says:

    Someone mention shit?

  153. 153
    from the litter tray....., says:

    In their own minds, they consider themselves “intellectuals” whereas, in reality, they’re a bunch of PPE tutus who know nothing of life outside the classroom.

  154. 154
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Why not trim the hedge naked, dear? You’ll feel all the more human for it.

  155. 155
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    I still haven’t got this spanish tart’s phone number, does anyone know it? I am sure she would like a teddy bear. Here’s one I particularly like. Boaz.

  156. 156
    annette curton says:

    Electric hedge-cuter is it?, good decision again.

  157. 157
    cider -> screen moment says:

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    No he’s not new, just out of practice.

  159. 159
    End of Irish Show says:


    This says it all about Ireland

    And the Deputy Governor of this bank during the collapse was given a life peerage by our Dave

    Can’t make it up…

  160. 160
    Anonymous says:

    Sally, pleeeeeze don’t come back. Parliament stinks enough without you wafting your arse around, so go & stink somewhere else out.

  161. 161
    Expat Geordie says:

    I saw two number 4’s a couple of weeks ago and no number 5. Only noticed because I was one of the 4’s.

    Apologies for the extremely sad comment.

  162. 162
    Eric Joyce (Teen Fondler) says:

    Nice one Handy, when are we going to Russia? I can’t wait. Boaz.

  163. 163
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Jim murphy@jimmurphymptwathypocriticalscum

  164. 164
    I don't need no doctor says:

    sunny hundal – are you a car mate?

  165. 165
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Whoops, just wiped my arse on it.

  166. 166
    Anonymous says:

    Sal flogs her parts after dark. That way, nobody has to look at her ugly mush. Mind you, she doesn’t earn much.

  167. 167
    I don't need no doctor says:

    She wastes tax payers money, along with her numpty of a husband. Clowns!

  168. 168
    In shallah says:

  169. 169
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Farage, yet another spinmeister screwing the system. Just another trougher at the end of the day.

  170. 170
    Blue Stratos Guy says:

    Great post, Cloudy. This, I take it, is The Guardian’s policy on free speech?

    “Our space”, FFS. Wrong. You put yourself in the public domain ie. the internet, and it becomes OUR space. If you don’t like what we have to say, close your doors to the outside world and talk amongst yourselves. You’re more or less there already, aren’t you?

    Ditto all online “news”papers and blogs. If you can’t stand the heat etc…..

    I don’t need no ponced-up moderator to tell me what is an acceptable comment and what isn’t, do I Guido?

    In life, we don’t rush over to gag the gentleman that’s goose-stepping along the High Street in his dead mother’s corset with a banana hanging out of his arse, do we?

    We shrug and get on with it because we’re British.

    Misogynist, racist, homophobic and xenophobic comments just add spice to this great curry we call life.

    I have a rather large willy but am never offended when passers-by shout “big knob” at me. My nose is long enough for Concord to take off from but do I take offence at strangers hollering “big knob” across the street?

    No, I do not.

    These days, people are scared shitless of offending the unoffendable and it makes me wanna post scary comments just to see what happens.

    I’m bored with this comment now, but I’ll probably be back.

  171. 171
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Unite union leaders. Yet more troughers taking the piss.

  172. 172

    How do you get that capital letter with only one hand?

  173. 173
    sunny hundal says:

    Yeah. They named the Daewoo Packy after me.

  174. 174
    Rat's arse says:

    Anybody heard off ‘silent bob’? I haven’t heard off him for ages, and am getting a little worried.

  175. 175
    Rat's arse says:

    Last chance for what? Just wave them off or blow them a kiss. Either way, they will not be missed!

  176. 176
    sunny hundal says:

    Let’s hope the ship does a Costa Concordia.

  177. 177
    Spain says:

    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    We don’t need a bailout.
    Oh hang on…

  178. 178
    Blue Stratos Guy says:

    He posts occasionally, I hear.

  179. 179
    Silent Bob says:
  180. 180
    not known for my patience says:

    Before you self-implode, please spit Maddy back out. Ta.

  181. 181
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    That’s soo clever, dear. You’ll teach me one day, I trust?

  182. 182
    DM Smut Editor says:


  183. 183
    Spain says:

    Not us. Try next door.

  184. 184
    DM Smut Editor says:

    That comment is out of order.

  185. 185
    Elsie Beattie (83 and a quarter) says:

    Was it France? The memory does play tricks at my state of life, dear.

  186. 186
    t says:

    To my glorious AC1, I wuv u.

  187. 187
    P.C. Filth says:

    That’s the spirit, sir. Nowhere near your best, though. Over.

  188. 188
    Spain says:

    Not quite but keep going.

  189. 189
    Blowing Whistles says:

    So – Sally’s being slowly ‘Institutionalised’ in the sex and travel game – hopefully she will get the message and soon FO then.

  190. 190
    federico says:

    It’s just smoggie being a silly arse. Mind you it’s the best moniker he’s ever had, where he says fuck all.

  191. 191
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Oh bearded Goat one – is it 76 virgins that you have had?

  192. 192
    AC1 says:

    To t, some c unt that I can’t seem to shake off:

  193. 193
    what is more important?.... says:

    Tony Blair the Mystic or Tony Blair the surgeon with blood on his hands.
    He surgically tried to change this country.

    what did the Beeb have in mind when it gave him an opportunity to comment on the Queen.

  194. 194
    Blowing Whistles says:

    If I did what your sister did quite unprofessionally – I would be doing Bird. Proof that there ‘allegedly’ is one rule for them and one rule for t’others. You contemptible witch.

  195. 195
    Iberia United says:

    She’s dead, isn’t she?

  196. 196
    Sting says:

    Who is Oppenhiemers deadly toy?

  197. 197
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    lol x x and laughing hysterically. When are we meeting up for that quick quarter litre, SC? Dave x

  198. 198
    t says:

    I kinda think a long and dignified silence would have been less of a giveaway of your inner most feelings duckie. Shame, you were doing so well.

  199. 199
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Houston – we have a breakthrough! “Clowns!”

    At last someone has twigged – that its all one Big (Brother) Circus over at the House of Clowns, (HOC) or is it all a House of Cards – whose foundations are crumbling before our very eyes?

  200. 200
    Schrodingers crack says:

    I read the 1000 word thesis you posted on here the other day. You entitled it, “total and utter wank” if I recall.

  201. 201
    Blowing Whistles says:

    A bit like your paper telling ‘The truth’, the whole truth and nothing but the truth then!

  202. 202
    Tachybaptus says:

    A house of cards with foundations? Crumbling, even? Built on sand in the air, no doubt.

  203. 203

    There have been several Silent Bobs. Para would do it I am sure. There are a number of other clever bastards here who can do it. I have learned much from them but, beyond that, I admit to nothing.

    As you know I was back in Blighty last month but my journey took me straight up north when I got back from my out and back from Gatwick business.

    Always on for a Guinness of any quantity when I am in London. Problem is I am not coming back so much now. BTW did you never read ur mail,? I gave up looking for replies.

    SC x .

  204. 204

    Not me, my old son. Not a machine posts that length stuff. You must be getting confused – what with all that glue.

  205. 205
    A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

    Delighted to see The Duke Of Edinburgh being released from Hospital after being treated for hypother….sorry a “bladder infection “

  206. 206
    Schrodingers crack says:

    Oh dear grandad, you’re losing it aren’t you? That’s if you ever had it.

  207. 207
    Ed Miliband says:

    The bear missed the train, too:

    I keep missing the train an awful lot. That’s why I have to keep jumping on bandwagons.

  208. 208
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    A trougher (yeah right) who is doing his best to put himself out of a job.

  209. 209
    Germany says:

  210. 210
    Silent Bob says:


  211. 211
    annette curton says:

    Poor old sods, 86 and 90 dragged down the Thames on a barge for 4 1/2 hours in the pouring rain just so the BBC can fuck the commentary and the spectacle up.

  212. 212
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    We don’t need no effin’ bailout
    We dont need no euro loan
    No dark sarcasm in the Empire
    IMF leave them states alone
    Hey! IMF! Leave them states alone!
    All in all it’s just another brick in the bog.
    All in all you’re just another turd in the bog.

  213. 213
    Totals her Porsche says:

    There’s a really useful tool called Google in which one only has to enter a search term and all manner of things come up, including piccies. But here’s one anyway.

  214. 214
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    I am only surprised they didn’t get Owen Jones or Bob Crow to do the commentary. They are in everything else.

  215. 215
    The Soft Machine says:

    Dunno, but I once woke up in the middle of the night to find Andy Summers under the duvet, with a torch and magnifying glass, exploring my parts.

  216. 216
    Ponzi-ponzi says:

    The Eurozone – the gift that keeps on giving.

  217. 217
    DM Smut Editor says:

    I can’t be bothered with all that bollocks. Nice frame though.

  218. 218
    My Other Van's A Comma says:

    My net’s been down for five days. Should I have a look now? Please don’t give up on me, baby. It’s just that I find modern life so confusing.

    You know I love you really ♥

  219. 219
    Ratsniffer says:

    No no, you’ve got it wrong. The BBC commentary was splendid, why, the staff have all been congratulated on what a fabulous job they did patronising…er…informing us, and the Sandi Toksvig section was just incredible! Lord Reith would have been proud! Gold plated pensions all round!

  220. 220
    Popcorn Mogul says:

    Sales are booming.

  221. 221

    I lost it when I was 12.

    Your turn will come one day.

  222. 222
    Irony Gordon says:

    I like your style. DO my tits affect the orbits of the planets, though?

  223. 223
    @OnRitalin says:

    Can i help ;)

  224. 224
    Silent Bob's even more silent brother says:
  225. 225
    Little Miss Fawkes says:

    That was simply horrible, Daddy. Can I please have my computer back now?

  226. 226
    Mike Hancock says:

    Aw, piss! I thought you’d link up THAT piccie– you know, that piccie showing “Thingie.” Fuck you very much for wasting my time! Boaz.

  227. 227
    Schrödinger's crack says:

    That dirty old priest who buggered you senseless has got a lot to answer for.

  228. 228
    Ol' Man River says:

    He muss know sumptin,
    But don’ say nuffin.
    He jess keep rollin’,
    He keep on rollin’ along.

  229. 229
    Anonymous says:

    I prefer the original fuck up.

  230. 230
    Little Miss Fawkes says:

    Maybe she’s fed up with trolling the internet and likes the idea of meeting a like-minded person face to face.

  231. 231
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    Eh? 110

  232. 232
    Sir Patrick Mower, CBE, FRS, FRAS says:

    Ah! The Bic. Another useful by-product of the space race.

  233. 233
    Kevin Van Rumpy says:

    Yes it is and you don’t have to change your money at the border too, the Euro is brilliant!

  234. 234
    Angela Merkel says:

    You blink if you want to, the lady’s not for blinking.

  235. 235
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    old old old FORKY

  236. 236
    Monosyllabic Richard, Silent Bob's loquacious brother says:


  237. 237

    Yes father, you have.

  238. 238
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    old old old

  239. 239
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    10 GREEK bottles

  240. 240
    Rick Limerfuck says:

    So, online, I makes this confession
    I suffers with manic depression.
    Self diagnosed,
    My bonce has bin frozed.
    But still I indulge this obsession.

  241. 241

    I suffer from manic optimism.

  242. 242
    Schrödinger's crack says:

    Oh no my mistake, it was a filthy old tramp wasn’t it?

  243. 243
    ModBob says:

    I’m allowed to have a laugh at your expense aren’t I, Irony?

  244. 244
    Sir Aston Martin says:


    You are Disyllabic Bob & I claim my 5 trochees.

  245. 245

    Correct again.

    Carry on.

    One more and you get your three in one jizzjazz.

  246. 246
    Gordon Brown says:


  247. 247
    Monosyllabic Richard, Silent Bob's loquacious brother says:

    Who asked you, Schama-tart?

  248. 248
    ModBob says:

    My imaginary friend died from snorting 100% pure optimism, SC.

  249. 249
    spook says:

    Too weird.

  250. 250
    Schrödinger's crack says:

    Your uncle Freddie?

  251. 251

    Didn’t stop him/her/it from coming back though…

    Rather like a recurrent Blair nightmare. Oh, hang on! That wasn’t imaginary.

  252. 252
    100% BS says:

    Don’t let SC fool you, he’s bipolar, swings both ways.

  253. 253
    Syllables are for faggots says:

    Did that flood drown Hugh Edwards? I do hope so.

  254. 254
    Blowing Whistles says:

    AC1 you appear to be a bit of a ‘trool’ with your reply. RU(ssia) One of them who are only online to ‘distract’ and decieve – where does your little 1% figure come from – if not from those who want to decieve?

    AC1 – who are you Alistair Campbell1, Alternating Current1, A C***1?

  255. 255

    Too Much Love Will Kill You?
    You’re My Best Friend?
    Another One Bites The Dust?
    Under Pressure?
    It’s A Hard Life?
    Friends Will Be Friends?
    I Want It All?
    No-One But You?
    etc. etc.

  256. 256
    Cutie says:

    You’ll never get rid of her, Sc. She’s strong-willed and will say absolutely nothing at the top of her voice.

  257. 257

    Goodnight boys and girls.

    And those who are not sure.

  258. 258
    David, call me Prime Minister if you like says:

    lol x x and laughing my brains out. Na night Schrody. Dave x

  259. 259
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are any of you aware of the other not so well known Bullingdon Club – with its membership list for life. It is a very select little club; it has it’s own original brand and is becoming quite well known. It is a club of noteriety not unlike its other more famous counterpart.

    Membership is exclusive – mind.

  260. 260
    Sting says:

    Why didn’t you call the police.

  261. 261
    Saffron says:

    Firstly Bob Nose Crow and his fellow travellers absolutely on form with their minority ass holes voting for strike during the oyplipics.
    Where is Cammoron to take on these assholes,well in fact sheeple nowere to be seen.
    What sheeple does that tell you?.
    What it tells me is that we do not have any kind of government in this land right now who have any idea of what BRITISH interests are all about.
    Bowing down to the fourth reich is in my opinion treason of the highest order.
    Why oh why have these asshole politico’s managed to get us to sell our country to the highest bidder.

  262. 262
    Genevieve says:

    wb SC ♥

  263. 263
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Tachy … touch … whatever whoever … try: THE CASTLE OF LIES, Ch 13, page 158 to 163.

    After which it states: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

    It’s Attributed to Abraham Lincoln (1858)

  264. 264
    Robert Jay QC says:

    I sincerely hope, for your sake, you’ll do better than that come Monday morning, sir.

  265. 265
    Saffron says:

    Could not leave as an aside this:-.
    How much longer are the indigeous peoples of this land are going to put up with the absolute crap being spouted by politico’s.
    The talent now we are seeing from the supposedely elite politico’s meaderings is aload a load of crap.

  266. 266
    Anne Drecks says:

    We can always walk to The Gimpics. Last time I checked, there was a pair of legs attached to my front bottom.

  267. 267
    franky fisher says:

    No one gives a fuck, babe .

    Anythin happenin on DT tonite ??

  268. 268
    Camoron and Gideon must die says:

    Good point. How about this from tonight’s Maily Hellograph:

    “Britain [Gideon Osborne] .. is pushing for “fiscal integration”, meaning eurozone countries governed by the same tax and spending policies in which Germany would have a dominant position. The UK will not “stand in the way” of this, the Chancellor pledges in his article.”

    Then Europhile Fiscal Fuckwit Gideon goes on to write, “British voters want their Government to be in charge of supervising our own banks, especially in a crisis,”

    What Fiscal Fuckwit Gideon doesn’t realise – because he’s a retard – is Europe*an voters want their governments to be in charge, too. But Fiscal uckwit Gideon thinks their countries should be run by Germany’s Fourth Reich. Fuckwit Gideon doesn’t care about democracy in Europe.

    Just to add insult to injury, Fiscal Fuckwit Gideon goes on to say, “Our recovery, already facing powerful headwinds from high oil prices.. is being killed off by the crisis on our doorstep.”

    Perhaps Fiscal Fuckwit Gideon would like to explain why our fuel prices are so high. Possibly something to do with Fiscal Fuckwit Gideon’s high fuel taxes, plus the VAT piled on top of the fuel taxes, all paid for out of income that’s already been taxed twice – income tax and then NI. All so Fiscal Fuckwit Gideon can p!ss £11 billion down the toilet every year, on foreign aid, plus tens of billions more, bailing out the Fourth Reich’s banks.

  269. 269
    she who must be obeyed says:

    Yeah, fuck you very much all, especially you Cutie, bitch.

  270. 270
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Are Cameron, Osborne et all going through intensive ‘legal coaching’ this weekend?

    Watch out for all the ambiguous answers this coming week

    … I think, I believe, to the best of my recollection, in my view …

    Never an “I know for a fact …”

  271. 271
    Schrödinger's crack says:

    OK, uncle Freddie it is then. You must have been a cute kid. What happened?

  272. 272
    Gordon Brown says:

    Don’t forget to whip out your guitar, Mr. Costello Jay, sir.

  273. 273
    rhubarb yoghurt says:

    Is this the best movie opening ever?

  274. 274
    I ain't no economist but four years ago I says:

    Let the banks fail. That way we would of known what was what. Sure, people would of lost money but all gamblers ultimately end up out of pocket. Did anyone listen? Fuck, did they! Being an armchair genius has it’s frustrations.

  275. 275
    Bobby Jay QC says:

    I hope my miming didn’t detract from the overall energy of the thing. Expect fireworks on Monday.

  276. 276
    Joss Ayinglike says:

    Watch this instead, Jim.

  277. 277
    Ed Balls - Shallow Chancer says:

    I am ‘uninspiring, untrustworthy and unlikeable’.


  278. 278
    Tachybaptus says:

    No. It’s three minutes of dreary credits, which are unavoidable in a modern film, made tolerable by some quite decent graphics and utterly ordinary film music. Better than some, but if I was watching this in a recording I’d hit fast forward after a few seconds.

    If you want to see how to begin a film properly, watch High Noon.

  279. 279
    Col. M.T. Nut-Kernel-Fungus (retd) says:

    Well said, sir! What’s that crispy layer between the shell and the fruit called? It’s been driving me nuts and the Google engine hasn’t been of much help.

    Yours, etc. etc. in the clubhouse with the poker blah blah

  280. 280
    Mrs. Ball-Scooper ( triple flipper ) says:

    You’re not that fucking appealing.

  281. 281
    E says:

    It’s much worse that you think, Balls. In a poll of 38 million people, 37.9 million said they’d hold a street party if you were accidentally crushed under a driverless bus.

  282. 282
    Genevieve says:

    I has the best openin, ever.

    The mere mention of my name makes grown men cream themselves.

  283. 283
    Peseta says:

    So. Is Osborne giving money to Spain?

  284. 284
    new reader says:

    I must admit that you are sexy. Where’s my Balls comment gone?

  285. 285
    Tachybaptus says:

    I have met people who cream themselves over veteran cars, but they’re a bit sad.

  286. 286
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cheap Joke Service says:

    HM Elizabeth II R: “Balls– if I’d had them, I’d have been the King!”

    Labour, after seeing the polling: “Balls– if we don’t have him, we might be in Government!”

  287. 287
    franky fisher says:

    What’s wrong with being “a bit sad”?

    *Does a twirl*

  288. 288
    Schweinie Hundel says:

    They named a German insult after me.

  289. 289
    not a machine says:

    I think I typed all I could last night saffron , I would hope that those attending church , are thoughtful in thier prayers , we need every bit of bit of wisdom and attentiveness we can muster to sail this maelstrom , true to our nations future and values before god .

    I guess we are looking at a contagion barrier action in Spain .

  290. 290
    not a machine says:

    I could not believe , he forked out for private polling , should have just have bought guido a drink and got him to run one on here , its the thought of the pollster de brief that tickles me , sat in office as power plus presentaion rolls on .

    92% of respondents when shown a picture and asked who it was, didnt know. the remaining 8% thought you had been on crimewatch in outstanding major fraud case.

    93% of respondents when told that photo was of shadow Labour chancellor then recalled his name , mmm is it Gordon Brown …..

    94% of respondents asked if they could recall anything of note he has said , wrote down “sorry theres no money left”

    95% of respondents considered the term “too far too fast” somthing that would be said on the muppets by link pork throb

    100 % of respondents could not think of anything of use he had said or had ever called right with any supporting evidence or informed argument

  291. 291
    not a machine says:

    you appear to have answered your own very good question , as one report does say international help ……………

  292. 292
    franky fisher says:

    Does anyone read or comment at The Telegraph these days? I popped in there, briefly, and the place is full of the same old wankers. How the fuck are they going to turn it around?

  293. 293
    not a machine says:

    If you missed comments for Ed Millibands peice , highlight of the week for me

  294. 294
    Tachybaptus says:


  295. 295
    Jimmy says:

    Our Sally is the future of defunct anglo saxon losers. Get used to it.

  296. 296
    The Proverbial Ninety-Nine Bottles Of Beer says:

    We’ve got you outnumbered by about a factor of ten.
    We can afford to match you bottle-for-bottle.
    You’ll “bottle-out” long before we will, HA HA!
    Even if you take one of us down and pass us around, there’ll still be eighty-nine of us when you’re all gone.
    You have no hope of winning unless each of you can take ten of us with you.
    You’re not tough enough to attempt it. (You haven’t the “bottle,” HA HA!)
    We’re not stupid enough to even let you try.
    So long, Ten Green Bottles.
    It was nice knowin’ ya.

  297. 297
    albacore says:

    Seen the latest on what Dave’s lot’s gonna do?
    Can’t be arsed to link it. It’s too deja vu
    Education, deportation and the EU
    Whatever, Dave’ll drag us all out of the stew
    Maybe, in some pinko parallel universe
    Here on earth, what’s the betting that they’ll make it worse?

  298. 298

    So Spain is taking a Bailout, sorry LOAN. 100billion. Top prop up the PONZI scheme Banks so they can keep Property prices higher on their books. So that the TOXIC Debt stays in the billions and not tirllions and trillions. Without Growth They cant pay the Debt. So putting off the Collapse is only a matter of time, while the Spanish people are forced into more Debt.

    Scum bag political elite created this Economic downturn and they expect the people to Bail them out. Coming here Soon. Oh by the Way how is the War going?? Peace time Deficits??? ha hahah ahhahahhaha

  299. 299

    Is that TONY BLAIR. Margaret Thatchers real SON?? I mean Political SON

  300. 300
    smoggie says:

    Not his own

  301. 301
    Leonidas says:

    Come and get them!

  302. 302
    Archer Karcher says:


  303. 303
    Archer Karcher says:

    Ooooh racist too Jimmy? How very socialist “progressive” of you.

  304. 304
    Archer Karcher says:

    How’s your blog doing tWat?

  305. 305
    Deranged Socialist says:

    That rant is pure joy on a Sunday morning-an excellant piece.

  306. 306
    Archer Karcher says:

    Obumma’s even better than GW at pissing money away and increasing taxpayer debt. A bit like Cameron is regarding Braun. Funny that all this “investing” benefits none but the bankers.

  307. 307
    Archer Karcher says:

    Fascism took it’s place actually. Profit is individual and private, losses are public and social. Page 1 of the fascist handbook.

  308. 308
    Archer Karcher says:

    He may be, but in his defence, he is also right regarding the moronic EU and has been all along.

  309. 309
    Archer Karcher says:

    Obumma’s a tosser “it” started with the Community Re-investment Act and the subsequent housing “boom” something tosser Obumma wholeheartedly supported and the UK and Europe copied.

  310. 310

    Beautifully punctuated, if I may be allowed to say so… :-)

  311. 311

    G Brown: I am the Walrus
    E Balls: No! I am the Walrus
    E Mili: Can I be the Walrus?
    All: Goo Goo G’Joob.

  312. 312
    Archer Karcher says:

    It’s all looking rather deliberate rather than idiotic. These people are collapsing our economies deliberately.

  313. 313
    Ed Millibrain says:

    I am the egged man.

  314. 314
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    No direct trail…but via the usual subterfuge of IMF…..that way Cameron can say that not a singlepenny of UK taxpayers money will be used to bail out Spain but obviously as a major player in IMF and World Bank etc etc we have to do our bit for world financial stability…….

  315. 315
    Are East Herts District Council corrupt? says:

    So Cameron “insists” Hunt has not broken any Ministerial Code.

    So why does Cameron keep on insisting having asked Leveson to make his enquiry?

    Why cannot Leveson confirm what Cameron says.

    Cameron is more useless than a chocolate teapot

  316. 316
    Raving Loon says:

    Balls is just unfortunate in not having been born in North Korea. He would be more at home in a politburo.

  317. 317
    anon says:

    nah he’s a fully paid up member of the ‘run my own business my way’ school where everybody else if fucked over so he can make a tidy profit – he’s very clever for a nazi you know what i mean

  318. 318
    anon says:

    nah they dont go in for that sort of thing – they much rather fuck labour over than recognize the nazis for who they are

  319. 319
    anon says:

    rather like the unelected coalition government hey

  320. 320
    Sancho Panzer says:

    Bank bailouts are great. Banking families, bondholders and corrupt politicians get to keep their money and the plebs pay through taxes. Pass the riocha!

  321. 321
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Who is paying for this odious cow to go ?

    I would happily donate the full fare if the stupid dumb piblicity seeking bint promised not to come back.

    I wonder how cuckold Bercow will feel about Sally getting stuffed by some big black Barbadonian

  322. 322
    Chip Rapper says:

    or ….. ‘World Financial Absurdity’ …… ?

  323. 323
    Gordon Brown says:

    That LaGa woman – clearly a bigot – got my job that I was lining up! It’s not fair!

  324. 324
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    Where the fuck is all this money for a Spanish bailout coming from?

    The best the old Press can come up with is it is coming ‘from Europe’.

    What the hell does that mean?

    These Spaniards seem to be admitting now that they are in the financial shit. You ask them how much and they can’t answer you.

    And what security is being offered for any loans?

    And all this conveniently blows up over the weekend when the Banks are closed and the guy with the big ears in the White House starts making veiled threats.

  325. 325
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Liam Fox is setting up a charity to help our service personnel
    i wonder how many pennies in the pound will actually reach them
    and how much will be skimmed of in “Running costs” ?

  326. 326
    Anon i moose says:

    Are you sad even when someone kisses you on your lips?

  327. 327

    Werrilly I say unto you, Rimming Costs are always on the up.

    Good morning, sir!

  328. 328
    Ah! Monika says:

    Learning a foreign language will be compulsory from the age of seven in England’s primary schools in an overhaul of the national curriculum, the education secretary is to announce.

    English and Urdu ?

  329. 329
    Brain dead party tribalists says:

    And I bet the silly old fool still voted Labour even after all that.

  330. 330
    Mango says:

    Don’t know about opening credits, but here’s one of the best opening shots ever:

  331. 331
    Ah! Monika says:

    A simple question.

    Why do so many politicians wear purple ties these days?

  332. 332
  333. 333

    Not me but I would support a revolution and would commit generously to a piano wire acquisition fund.

  334. 334
    Ah! Monika says:

    A J e w turn?

    Hizb ut-Tahrir has been accused of promoting racism and anti-Semitism, praising suicide bombers and urging Muslims to kill J3ws.
    Before coming to power, Mr Cameron pledged to ban it but the plan was shelved after a Coalition review.

  335. 335
    my knuckles are white says:

    Will Ewа and SC get it on? Come back and see next week.

  336. 336
    Liam Byrne says:

    I’m afraid there is no money left. I told you that ages ago.
    All there is is the remains of a colossal Ponzi scheme, namely some bits of paper that might as well say ‘Monopoly’ on them and a load of ‘1’s and ‘0’s buried in a billion and one computers.
    Why do you think there were all those ads trying to get you to cash in your gold stuff ?

  337. 337
    The Million Moniker Man says:

    Don’t you mean SC and Dave, Mr five knuckle shuffle?

  338. 338
    Rick says:

    Give them the bashing they deserve.

  339. 339
    Uninspiring, Untrustworthy & Unlikeable says:

    I was in that movie.

  340. 340

    Trinity House have completely unmanned outposts now so they could all be sent out indefinitely to polish the lighthouses.

  341. 341
    Rick says:

    So, does yours have a flashing light on the top ?

  342. 342

    In the Admiralty Notices to Mariners it does say something about an enormous horn.

  343. 343
    National Socialist says:

    Oh dear, the wankers at the Department of Transport have been caught red-handed lying about the supposed benefits of the High Speed Fuck-up.

    Now they are busy moving the goal-posts….


  344. 344
    anon says:

    an intelligent question and one deserving of a full answer, especially as the country is in the shit and all pickles can do is blame the poor – fuck off

  345. 345
    Arthur Itis says:

    “UK government announces extra £10m in aid for West Africa drought relief programme”

    But there’s no money left…

  346. 346
    Rick says:

    So as the French sail by they say ‘Cor, Anglais !’.

  347. 347
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Fuck off you raging bull dyke.

  348. 348
    Barmy as a Bag of Lights says:

    Sunday morning, Spain gets out begging bowl
    finance minister says this is good for the yuro.
    ”it makes the yuro stronger and this is a project that cannot be dismantled.”

    Is he on drugs?

    Gease; spain; . . . next for bankruptcy?

  349. 349
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t bring your rent boy speak on here you mental cripple.

  350. 350

    They are only jealous.

    Why otherwise do they sing Petite Pipe à Noël?

    (A flop of course.)

  351. 351

    Morning again TaT!

    Shit the bed two days in a row?

  352. 352
  353. 353

    Everyone who posts on this site must be fucking crackers.

    Except me.

    And I am even beginning to doubt that too.

  354. 354
    wank doctor says:

    I’ve entitled this thread, “Penis Innuendo Corner”. Have a good day.

  355. 355

    Rounding error. It was 101.6% actually.

  356. 356
    Rick says:

    Our lads always teach those Froggies a trick or two :

  357. 357
    Anonymous says:

    As soon as you’ve had your way with that fat, sweaty, bald old fart Ew-anme, you’ll be off, mark my words.

  358. 358

    Struck-off practitioners are not entitled to use the description doctor.

    Please be more circumscribed with your moniker.

  359. 359
    Muhammad Muhammed x 500 says:

    THE number of driving test cheats has increased by 500 per cent in just eight years, new figures have revealed.

  360. 360
    Angela Merkel says:

    Not exactly the language I’d suggest.

  361. 361
    earnest thrubwell says:

    Too right, Guido would otherwise have to pay good money to have someone write the absolute bollocks you come out with on regular basis.

  362. 362

    You just don’t understand, do you?

    I have no plans to have my way with her, evil or otherwise.

    Can’t be too sure whether I am safe from her though…

  363. 363
    wank doctor says:

    You just can’t help yourself can you? You need treatment mate.

  364. 364
    J e w B i l l y says:

    Are there websites devoted to fucking crackers?

  365. 365
    John Dough says:

    But this is not a racial issue???

  366. 366
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Wood it were so.

  367. 367
    A Voter says:

    Perhaps its time for Germany to leave the EU?
    It’s economy is so out of synch with everyone else – It would at least leave the remaining countries on more or less on comparable economies.
    Heck – we might even join!

  368. 368

    Typical socialist.

    When he is not being proscriptive, he is being prescriptive.

    Go to North Korea, you will be happier there.

    Whatever is not forbidden is compulsory.

  369. 369
    Andrew Boner says:

    There oughta be a Law.

  370. 370
    trolling and the passive/agrresive paradigm says:

    I’m sure the right therapy exists for you somewhere, but doubt very much that it’s here. In fact I think this blog exacerbates your condition.

  371. 371
    trolling and the passive/aggressive paradigm says:


  372. 372

    @Rick: The French are quite good at sinking their ships.

    @Tay King-dePisse. Hard wood is better than soft for doors, stairs and other internal erections.

  373. 373
    Rick says:

    Where would we be if Napoleon had had Polari missiles ?

  374. 374
    oh dear, i've said it says:

    No, it just so happens that most of them are Asian, which is just the way they do things, so irrelevant.

  375. 375
    Gordon Brown says:

    Hello to all my fans. I know you’re looking forward to seeing me at Leveson tomorrow where I will hold forth with all my knowledge, expertise, wisdom and inappropriately timed smiles. Unfortunately I have to check-in my mobile when I arrive, so I won’t be allowed to Nokia anyone if they ask me difficult questions.

  376. 376

    Napoleon was only good on land where he was a genius. Like Hitler, later, he did not understand the sea. The air would have been the same (look at Hitler again).

    Probably nowhere is the likely answer to your question.

  377. 377
    I Seed The Argument says:

    You wouldn’t be taking the pith out of me, would you, Taki?

  378. 378
    Gregory says:

    Oi wake up in Guido Towers. Saturnday has come and Saturnday has gone forever it is now Sunday and if you don’t wake up soon, it’ll be Moonday and Rich and Mark and Mr Jay and Mr brown and Mr Osborne.

  379. 379

    The spelling paradigm might be a good start before you get into pseudo-psychology…

  380. 380
    Uncommon Knowledge says:

  381. 381

    If that is the detected rate, the real one will be ten times worse.

  382. 382
    Crocodile says:

    Take a strong Onion with you Gordon, It’ll help bring on the tears when Sarah’s friend Rebekah Brooks is mentioned.

  383. 383
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:


  384. 384
    UKIP.I.AM says:

    How long must this Dead Parrot Sketch go on for?

    “Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy has hailed a decision by eurozone finance ministers to help Spain shore up its struggling banks as a victory for the European common currency.”

  385. 385
    Dr Muhammad Mohammed Shake says:

    Ah yes, if you wantings false whiplash injury insurance claimings, please just £250 for genuine fake report and plenty insurance moneys for you. Quite normals back home and good for Whiteyland too.

  386. 386
    Albert says:

    You should come and tell that one up the palliass some time. Vicky would be most amused.

  387. 387
    o'Brien, Eurocrat, 1st class says:

    And definitely no water, oh dear me no !

  388. 388
    Red Ken and Nigel Farage Agree says:

    Very interesting that Red Ken and Nigel Farage agreed on everything on Sky this morning. Europe isa waste of space we should be planning for the future and drumming up trade with China Brazil etc. European regulations are a millstone and we should be like switzerland and trade with the European Block but be FREE to trade with the rest of the world on OUR terms. The vote on the common market was basically illegal as we were not told that the common market was just the beginning and the political intent was the United states of Europe. It’s not just the British people who want to revert back to a trading block, the rest of Europe wants that too, except the political elite.

    This bank bailout scam is just delaying the inevitable but it is creating vast social damage across Europe codeming generations of the young to unemployment until the inevitable happens. Te Mediteranean countries should never have been allowed in the Euro and it should have been tried as a very small group of countries with sound books. The Euro Political elite will still not admit it was a political project and OSBORNE is totally at odds to all reason by pressing for political integration within the zone.

    I loved it. I really like it when politicians tell it as it is. Well done Ken and Nigel

  389. 389
    A Voter says:

    “Spanish PM Mariano Rajoy says a decision by eurozone ministers to help Spain shore up its struggling banks is a “victory for the euro””.

    We’d better join quickly.

  390. 390
    Patel and Patel says:

    It dosn’t help when they all look the same. This is not actually a racist thing. It is how the human brain works.

  391. 391
    Give us your Money. says:

    How did he manage to fit that statement in when he was out of the country watching a football match?

  392. 392


    Eras of influence:
    Napoleon finished 1815
    Vicky 1837-1901
    Albert 1839-1861
    Hitler 1923-1945

  393. 393

    Tat, no doubt, will want to start one.

  394. 394
  395. 395
    pseuds corner says:

    pseudo – psychology kinda suits you though.

  396. 396

    R.G. Collingwood’s antagonism to scientific psychology was entirely justified.

  397. 397
  398. 398
    1812 and all that says:

    Pourqoui pas ?
    Historical license, don’tchaknow.
    Napoleon’s plan B was to sneak up on us ‘round the Horne’ and loose his missiles at William S Paddick but Julian and Sandy stole his parte and all was revealed.
    Just think – Soho might have been the new Gay Paris.

  399. 399
    smoggie says:

    Neither of those things, numbnutses.

  400. 400
    Scrodingers Scat says:

    I’m all over my litter tray and the walls and the floor, what a bleedin mess !

  401. 401
    Schrodingers Scat says:

    Nothing worse than people who drop their h’s

  402. 402
    AC1 says:

    How dare you accuse me of being a socialist.

  403. 403
    The BBC says:

    Never mind the opening credits, what did you think of our closing credits which we plastered all over Her Majesties firework display. Pretty good eh !

  404. 404


    Rewired with Froggy crap…

  405. 405
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Its odds on that even Mr J – will not be probing too deeply Gordo. After all he’s not likely or any inquisitor for that matter; to want to show that both the previous Government and the current Government – have been totally ‘in thrall’ to Murdochs Coin.

    What of course – would that show to the world – other than that Parliament over the past 20 years has become a ‘laughing stock’?

  406. 406
    Blowing Whistles says:

    Bit of a faux pas in that comment Re: “… a very small group of countries with sound books”

    Sound books – Is that a reference to Accounts … Hello

    Don’t mention the elephant in the room then – the still Unaudited accounts.

    BTW Booker (its the content & context of what he states stupid) has summed up the original lie about the EEC / EU project nightmare far better than most – or even the scaremongers club of fools.

Seen Elsewhere

Users of Gay Hook-Up App Grindr Infected | TechnoGuido
ISIS Raising Funds Online Using Bitcoin | TechnoGuido
UKIP’s Youth Challenge | BBC
ISIS Operative: This Is How We Send Jihadis To Europe | BuzzFeed
Shapps Defends Bashir Defection | Seb Payne
Tory Leadership Contenders Jostle Over Europe | Alex Wickham
Cutting Taxes is Good For You | Art Laffer
Suspects Will Now Have to Prove Innocence | Laura Perrins
Labour Cllr: Cops Shouldn’t Stop Petrol Thieves | HandF Forum
Creeping Cultural Acceptance of Anti-Semitism | Eric Pickles
Time For Greece to Leave Eurozone | Allister Heath

Rising Stars
Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Boris on British Jihadis. Apparently based on MI5 intel:

“If you look at all the psychological profiling about bombers, they typically will look at porn. They are literally w***ers. Severe onanists. They are tortured. They will be very badly adjusted in their relations with women, and that is a symptom of their feeling of being failures and that the world is against them. They are not making it with girls, and so they turn to other forms of spiritual comfort — which of course is no comfort.”

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