June 4th, 2012

Wrestling Lembit Stretchered Off [Phone Camera Video Footage]

Don’t try this at home. Suspected broken ribs. Nice sympathetic chanting…

UPDATE: Lembit is a bit snarky:


287 Comments

  1. 1
    Expat Geordie says:

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

    Like

  2. 2
    Need to know? says:

    Wonder if he went private or NHS?

    Like

    • 49
      Anonymous says:

      No idea, I thought it was Lembit suddenly being recognised at a Tory party conferferce and all that noise was the welcome usually given to strangers or potential defectors

      Like

      • 210
        Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

        You have got to give Lembit some credit, he kept the flag flying for the LibDems by shagging one of the Cheeky Girls. I would not have minded a crack myself at her or her sister or even both at the same time. Boaz.

        Like

        • 271
          Bystander says:

          I defy you Sir! – or defer to your wisdon – since when has that shallow creep ever had the will, energy, or expertise to, as you put it, ‘Shag a cheeky girl’ ?

          Like

  3. 4
    David Cameron says:

    I am having a tag wrestling match with Baroness Warsi and Jeremy Hunt.
    My partner is George”The Rock” Osborne.

    Like

    • 273
      Bystander says:

      And on the result will depend? – the existence of G*d?, – you? – or SNAFU?

      Like

  4. 5
    Gman says:

    “is there a doctor in the house” “st johns ambulance”

    What a shoddy bunch of amateurs, kind of feel sorry for Lembit, I hope he’s ok.

    Like

  5. 6
    Black Mask says:

    “Is there a doctor in the house?”

    Why, yes! I am a doctor. Please stand back. This man needs an immediate tracheostomy.

    Like

  6. 7
    This is how you do it! says:

    Like

  7. 9
    Baroness Warsi says:

    I had nothing to do with incident yesterday when Joey Barton was punched in the face !

    Like

    • 39
      Selohesra says:

      I don’t know details of the incident but I wager that Barton deserved it.

      Like

      • 72
        Tay King-dePisse says:

        Mr Joseph Barton deserves a punch in the face just on general principle: “I’m more than just some vacuous footballer, I’ve got a brain, you know.” Well then, use it and don’t thug around on the pitch, you pseudo-intellectual poseur.

        Like

  8. 10
    Moby Dick says:

    unlucky for lembit KADE doesnt do u-turns

    Like

    • 58
      Anonymous says:

      He leaves that to Gideon (name Gideon dropped because the nasty boys were calling him Giddy)

      Like

  9. 11
    Tuscan Tony says:

    If that wasn’t staged I hope the assailant gets nicked for attacking the Lebster when he was down.

    Like

    • 22
      erectile problem clinic says:

      A Limpdick sympathiser eh?

      Like

    • 24
      Judge Dreadful says:

      I agree. The second attck on an injured man on the floor was apparently beyond what was needed. Unless, like many of us, he was so used to the idea of MPs faking their emotions and feelign ‘pain’ that he thought that Lembit was very good at faking it. It should make for a fascinating court case.

      Like

    • 27
      David says:

      It’s a work. A good one, but still a work.

      Like

    • 285
      Book 'im Danno says:

      I agree. Opik is a knob but he was attacked when down. Common assault.

      Like

  10. 13
    JH says:

    What an arsehole.

    I hope this incident gives him pause for thought; perhaps he will not be so eager to be involved in such attention-seeking stunts henceforth.

    Like

    • 120
      Forkbender says:

      Now then you lot what about a tag wrestling match, a real grudge match, The Two Guidos against Mad Bad Tom Watson and Eddy (Blinky) Balls a great heavy weight contest (it would have to be wouldn’t it) the best of 2 falls, 2 submissions or a knockout. Dirty Des could put up the prize money for that by broadcasting it on Chanel 5. Remember there is to be gouging, fists etc. Come on lads, your fans would love to see you in action, just think of the publicity even I would watch, it would boost the ratings of chanel 5

      Like

  11. 14
    Anonymous says:

    That’s GBH with intent.

    The wrestler is a twat for attacking a flimsy civilian like Lembit.

    Like

  12. 15
    Sir Ian Paisley says:

    Nothing trivial I hope.

    Like

  13. 16
    Nan Taylor says:

    Lembit, you bellend!

    Like

  14. 17
    Lets all laugh at Lembit! says:

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

    Like

  15. 18
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    He should stick to wrestling the Cheeky girls

    Like

    • 31
      Backwoodsman says:

      Met Lembit when he was promoting the’ Third Way ‘ option during the hunting debate.
      You’d look at him a long time before Big Daddy or Giant Haystacks came to mind.
      Still, no coffee tables were hurt during making this video, so its a fairly family friendly pastime for a former limpdim.

      Like

  16. 19
    Govt_By_Cluster_Fuck says:

    Oh dear oh dear oh dear

    Like

  17. 20
    Spot the slapper.... says:

    Like

  18. 25
    UKIPMAN says:

    For it is writ, Politician heal thyself.

    Like

  19. 28
    The Shocked Westminster Bubble says:

    The crowd were calling for more. Apparently former Members of Parliament are not very popular. Who knew?

    Like

  20. 29
    disappointed but hopeful says:

    Why couldn’t it have been, “Gordon Brown stretchered off”?

    Like

    • 32
      JH says:

      How about “Gordon Brown stretchered off in bodybag”. Rolls off the tongue more easily.

      It would be nice to see McRuin getting his miserable lardy arse kicked all over the ring; bit of a contrast to intimidating female staffers to the point of tears, eh Gordon?

      Like

    • 91
      Gordon brown says:

      I prefer my wheel chair & blanket

      Like

  21. 30
    Well it's a thought says:

    I really can’t get wound up about this piece of trivia, he’s an ex MP , oh dear how awful, the weather was awful yesterday , must be time for lunch, oh the sun is out time for a pint.

    Like

  22. 33
    WVM says:

    Fucking liberals, their all the same.

    Like

  23. 35
    Callous bastard says:

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

    Like

  24. 36
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    I thought ‘Ricky’ was going into business with Sugar and would wrestle no more! After all Sugar wasn’t looking for no ‘steady eddy’.

    Which, as it turned out, is just what he picked!

    Like

    • 48
      It's MY money AND I'm not investing in any of you soYou're ALL fired.. says:

      Not exactly any ideas that will set the World alight though for Lord S to pick from, Rather like Head you lose Tails you Lose. Unlike last year with Tom the Inventor
      1. Jade: Contact Centre for sales leads…so you piss off people by calling up leads. I though telesales was a dead industry …nobody in their rtight mindfs buys from someone phonong you up and most people do not tick the box which says Yes i want Third Parties to phone me up

      2. Tom:Risky Hedge Fund buying Wine as an investment…Wine is for drinking surely not investment ?

      3. Nick: Online site to order ingredients for receipes. Does anyone look at online receipes ? Let alone order stuff and so receipe calls for pinch of salt and 3 grams of whatever.Does ANY supermarket allow you to order such small quantities that you’d need for receipe ? So you’d order more than you need and then next time have more than enough ingredientand diminishing user base therefore… £145 Million profit in 5 years ? I don’t think so

      4 . Ricky:Winning Apprentice …Recruitment Site for Bio-Medical Specialists ? Is there a market ? Are there enough jobs ? And can HE teach an old dog new tricks ??He’s not Thor either more like Noddy

      Was it worth watching it for 12 weeks……? All a bit of a let down rather like Dave & Co

      Like

      • 70
        Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        True “Good morning Lord Sugar” was cattled with all four choices being outside of his comfort zone of buying things and selling them at a profit.

        Like

  25. 38
    Ambulance Chaser says:

    Hello Mr Lemsip Optic!
    Did you know where there’s blame there’s a claim?

    Call free on 0800 0511 511 for a confidential chat.

    Like

  26. 40
    Harbottle says:

    Will he be joined in the ring by Mark Oaten?

    Like

  27. 42
    Your Friendly Neighbourhood Wrestling Terminology Service says:

    When it comes to professional wrestling one can never know what is on the level for absolutely sure, as there is a code of wrestling called “Kayfabe” which, essentially, requires that wrestling participants stay in character at all times and portray what is happening unironically without any archness, i.e. no “nudge-wink-laugh-up-sleeve.” Obviously most spectators realise this, but some few do not. Sadly, much the same could be said about politicians and media types too, and the difference is that there are probably more spectators being hoodwinked than by wrestling.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kayfabe

    Like

    • 51
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      Lots of ‘Kayfabeing’ going on on the Thames yesterday with soapy Raworth and Doormatt Baker and that stunted litlle lezza.

      Like

  28. 43
    A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

    Lets be honest if we had our choice of Politicians whom we would love to see in the ring getting what for, Lembit wouldnt be top of the list, hes not the worst by a long way.

    Like

  29. 45
    Johnny Norfolk says:

    What a plonker.

    Like

  30. 46
    Gordon Brown and ¾ says:

    Nurse took me to Hogwarts today where I was rogered senseless by Hagrid and a randy dwarf. I must say that Dumbledore looked like any pissed old tramp you’d see in a park.

    Like

  31. 56
    Lembit gets a Result says:

    Treatment from paramedics was probably not the attention he was planning on getting from this foolish bit of self-promotion, but this little episode should be good for a couple of months on daytime TV sofas and the sympathy of lots of attractive young females.

    Like

  32. 59
    Calamity Clegg says:

    After the recent electoral drubbing of mayoral marvel, Brian Baddick and the court appearance of Chris Hoon, we FibDems are clearly aligning our futures very much along the lines of kamikaze pilots. Vince has been earmarked as Ed Balls’ Groom of the Stool, whilst ‘Steady Eddy’ Davey will go onto a career in wind turbine demolition. Me? I’ want to be Herman van Rumboy’s chief bag carrier.

    Like

  33. 62
    Kent Walton says:

    Well grappling fans, Limpdick took quite a blow, but look on the bright side – his face ain’t lopsided any more.

    Like

    • 235
      Saltpetre says:

      Strange that both he and Carswell have lop-sided faces. I’m sure there are other politicians afflicted with this too.

      Like

  34. 65
    alex says:

    What a wanker, fucking dickhead

    Like

  35. 66
    Legal Crook says:

    To think people voted for him to be their representative in Parliament.

    Like

    • 67
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      It can’t be much different from wanting ed nose-job to represent them on the world stage!!!

      Like

  36. 69
    Barry says:

    Why is it that someone else’s misfortune brings out the very worst in contributors to this column? Such inhumanity speaks volumes about those who write it. I hold no brief for Lembit, who must have volunteered for the event, but his treatment was appalling.

    Like

    • 75
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Yes go piss off and tell that to the lefty mongs who have often written and spouted bile against Margaret Thatcher.

      Limpdick oil prick deserved all he got, what a mong.

      Like

    • 76
      Mr Fluffy Wuffy Only Evil People Eat Animals says:

      Quite right. There’s nothing funny about a sane and intelligent person who consciously and willingly stands on a railway line as an express train approaches.

      Like

      • 151
        Eeyore says:

        Er, ‘sane and intelligent’, ‘consciously and willingly stands on a railway line as an express train approaches’??????

        It’s Guido’s ‘Spot the Contradiction’ competition, folks!

        Like

    • 96
      Herman van Rumboy says:

      Blame the Germans. They invented Schadenfreude.

      Like

    • 106
      Black Mask says:

      I find myself agreeing with you, Barry. Lembit was treated appallingly. The wrestler stood still looking down at him for ages, seconds passing away into minutes, without delivering any kind of final coup de grâce. St John’s Ambulance medics scurried over to help him as well. Why? They didn’t need to.

      Finally, the crowds were content to stand around shouting out, ” We want more, we want more..” instead of ripping him to pieces with their bare hands and teeth. Man’s inhumanity to man, I suppose.

      Like

  37. 74
    What? says:

    Like

    • 86
      Mustaffa councilhouse says:

      I do have sympathy with presenters having to comment for 4 hours about rain and boats but the secret is,don’t say fuck all.Just show the pictures.
      Jesus the viewing public aren’t all Comprehensive school spastics..yet.

      Like

      • 112
        Sophie was wonderful as usual says:

        It’s not the presenters fault…I blame the Director and Producer

        Like

    • 125
      Highlight of The Day says:

      Loved the BBC commentator’s description of Her Maj as a piece of “cargo” as she sailed down the Thames on the Royal Barge.

      Like

      • 131
        a non says:

        Without wishing to apologise for the Beeb I would imagine that somebody had the John Masefield poem “Cargoes”? in their head .
        Unfortunately instead of pomp to basics- Quinquereme of Nineveh – Dirty british coaster etc some dumb Corporation tw*t left it hanging, producing the insult.

        Like

    • 153
      Eeyore says:

      No, it’s all part of the BBC’s long-term project to undermine everything of proven worth in this country. The event was a triumph; the BBC coverage was contemptuous. Airheads in evidence all over the place and the great Tom Cunliffe, who knows about boats, sidelined.

      If they’d used either of the Dimblebys or Libby Purves (sailors all) they’d have got intelligence plus knowledge about maritime matters. Instead we got a bunch of idiots (Clare Balding was the exception).

      Oh, and for ‘right-wing press’ read ‘any critic with a brain’.

      Like

  38. 77
    Lembit says:

    Like

    • 80
      square circle says:

      Well that rules Lembit out but I suppose gracing the floor of the ring is a start.

      Like

    • 81
      smoggie says:

      Eric Joyce?

      Like

    • 83
      Mustaffa councilhouse says:

      Yeh,on the lawless streets you fucking politicians have provided.

      Like

    • 85

      I think you miss the point, Lembit.

      What makes you think that never having wrestled before is an excellent reason for suddenly taking it up?

      The more so when every other aspect of your life has been to court publicity rather than to further the course of the latest fad in the direction of which you have so predictably disastrously lurched.

      Like

    • 93
      Your Friendly Neighbourhood Upthread Reminder Service says:

      #42 @1:33 pm– This is the sort of standard answer given when people doubt the honesty of the “competition” in professional wrestling. Lembit Opik has been Kayfabe’d. (But you already knew that, didn’t you?)

      Like

    • 99
      Jack E Palance says:

      Dunno, but no-one would ever be able to get a grip on Keith Vaz.

      Like

    • 260
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      Fuck off you media whore please take up bare nuckle fighting next time or neck fixed bungie jumping

      Like

  39. 78
    Moby Dick says:

    watched it again

    dont think lembit will visit a wrestling ring again

    Like

    • 127
      Forkbender says:

      His opponent was in a heavier weight class mind you Lembic’s fellow tag wrestler was even heavier

      Like

  40. 79
    smoggie says:

    Yes, it’s just the sort of entertainment that attracts doctors in their droves.

    Is there a doctor in the house, if you please.

    Like

  41. 82
    WokinghamChris says:

    So there is a God.

    Like

  42. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Nice one, now let’s make it mandatory for sitting MPs too.

    Like

  43. 90
    LAST QUANGO IN POWYS says:

    The man can’t even manage to win, in a “SPORT” that is more rigged than a Tower Hamlets council election!

    Like

    • 92
      Percival Foplington-Ponsomby (balletomaine) says:

      It has more in common with ballet dancing than with any sport

      Like

  44. 95
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    WTF Camaron looks like putting another LABOUR placeman as the next director-general of the BBC.

    What thefuck is he on?

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2154187/BBC-wannabe-CV-doesn-t-add-up.html#ixzz1woq0qYOg

    Like

    • 101
      oxbridge united says:

      He does as he’s fucking told.

      Like

    • 110
      Is you 'avin' a laff ?? says:

      You have obviously made the same common mistake as many others of thinking that Cameron is actually a Tory…the signs were all there from 2005 that he was actually nothing of the sort… he regards himself as the “Heir to Blair” .Cast your mind back…… he even led the standing ovation for Blair in 2007 at his last PMQs.

      It was the best thing that happened for him when nobody won the 2010 election and he had to go into Coalition..he’d been wondering how to renege on some of the Manifesto promises he’d made to his right wing and now he can just blame the LibDems for not implementing them………….

      Like

  45. 103
    Wacism and Sexism Watch says:

    Dave has referred Warsi to his “independent” adviser on ministerial interests.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2154483/David-Cameron-refers-Baroness-Warsi-independent-adviser-ministerial-interests-Pakistan-trip.html

    Like

    • 111
      Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

      I would have thought he would have referred her to his Inquiry of choice……. the Leveson Inquiry…seemed to work for Jeremy ok

      Like

      • 113
        Well it's a thought says:

        I presume they have run out of whitewash, what with the manufacturers having production on the go 24 hrs a day just to keep up with the Leveson inquiry.

        Like

  46. 105
    Eddie says:

    Lembit did not accept he had been beaten when the ref got to 10 – it was only after he asked for a recount that he was body slammed!

    Like

  47. 108
    Newsfart: Read all abaaaaat it says:

    why the modbot?

    Like

  48. 109
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    That was funnier than him reading his shit stuff off beer mats , or talking to his shoe

    why didn’t the wrestler give him a gob full of shoe leather and kick the c*nt’s teeth out ?

    Like

  49. 119
    JH says:

    Which of my critics have actually done any wrestling

    None, Lembit. But they are not publicity whores, frantically trying to stay in the public eye after pissing a safe seat up the wall with their pathetic wannabe celeb antics.

    Still, that cheeky girl who let you put your little gitprong in her is worth a squirt so kudos there.

    Like

  50. 121
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    Could have broken his spine !
    If he had one !

    Like

    • 129
      Forkbender says:

      Surely you are refering to Cameron, he likes to be flexible so that he can do quick U-turns

      Like

  51. 123
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Pity they didnt snap his scrawny neck !

    Like

  52. 124
    Anonymous says:

    As the end of this hellish nightmare draws closer, it is amazing that the one and only important beacon is being left neglected. That';s right, the beacon over the House of Commons. The one that should be lit with aplomb, that will burn all the fucking politicians and royalty to death, the one that signals the british people have had enough of their treachery, their theft and their lies.

    What’s that I hear? the british couldn’t be arsed because they want to watch Gary Barlow and Cliff Richard???? FFS

    Like

  53. 126
    You can't make it up says:

    And now the fuckwxits who organised the Jubilee Pageant

    have managed to put Prince Philip in hospital after 4 hours in the rain, wind and cold…

    And the Queen, who is not much younger, was obviously supporting herself on the arm of a chair…

    How fucking stupid do you have to be ?

    Or is the Jubilee organised to kill both of them off?

    Like

    • 136
      annette curton says:

      Didn’t see much of it, the flotilla that is, for some inexplicable reason the BBC thought this was a fitting occasion for Claire Balding to tell us that Matthew Pincents lung capacity is the biggest in the country, switches again to John Sargent stood on a bridge, why?

      Like

      • 146

        What?

        No Polly Toynbee for *balance*?

        Like

      • 175
        I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

        Talking of Clare Balding – did you see her tonsed up at the Derby?
        Talk about a dyke in a hat! Gruesome sight.

        Like

      • 265
        Anonymous says:

        The BBC fuck up of the Jubilee coverage was them practising for their coming fuck up of the Olympics ceremonies.

        Clue: watch Sky instead. (Murdoch’s still a cυnt though.)

        Like

    • 163
      Timmy Tin Foil says:

      As “they” always say, ask no questions, you’ll be told no lies…’nuff said.

      (Though you’d figure, Charles and Camilla would like to have a LITTLE while on the throne before having to offload to William and Kate…get the old bat right and proper invalided, stick in a regency, have a few years of their own…naahhh, couldn’t happen, right?)

      Like

  54. 135
    ditte says:

    O/T. See that 3 resident Danes and 1 foreigner got their sentence today following the Danish terror plot.
    Not an Aksel, Bjarke or similar actual Danish name among them. Just a load of imported muzzies who have taken up residence.

    Like

    • 149
      Isla Verbooty says:

      If they’ve developed an immunity to bacon that is indeed a serious development.

      Like

  55. 138
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    What a fuckin hypocrite Julia Gillard is !
    Campaigning for a republic in Australia yet can’t miss out on a photo opp by lighting a beacon for the Queen !

    Like

  56. 140
    LIMPDICK SLIPDISC says:

    Got any loose change guv ? I’ll show you good time in the toilets £20
    Big Issue ?

    Like

  57. 152
    the circle of life, how ironic says:

    Apparently there’s shitloads of yanks in London under the impression they’re celebrating the Diamond Jubilee of Elton John.

    Like

  58. 156
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Jesus, anyone else seen the shite on BBC 1? Decided to watch Limdick oil slicks wresting match again, far more entertaining.

    The Queen must be wishing she could send people to the tower, starting with most of the so called acts she’s being forced to listen to.

    Luckily Phil the Greek has managed ot make up an excuse to fuck off to hospital and will probably be groping some fine young nurse if he has any sense.

    Like

    • 159
      TWOC says:

      If you’ve had experience with old people with bladder infections (UTI’s) you’d know they become very confused. He probably thinks he IS the queen by now.

      Like

      • 160
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        Well he’s got an excuse when he puts his hands up the skirt of the nurse then :)

        Bet he’s not watching this shit in hospital, probably got Babestation on.

        Like

        • 181

          Nonagenarians have a tendency to strapadictomy.

          Like

        • 190
          this mortal spoil says:

          I reckon nurses and carers see more geriatric knob than they care too. The old geezers probably think that shit oozing out of their diapers as they wander around the ward looking for the bus stop is a right turn on. Mind you, that’s something I’m looking forward to in my dotage.

          Like

  59. 167
    not a machine says:

    It gives me an idea , couldnt we get Ed Balls to do some cage fighting , an appropiate name for his opponent could be “the state spending adjuster” assuming that is he comes dressed as the “deficet denier “…. I just anguish over how to score , should we allow submissions ?, or even appologies or just let it run …

    Bloombergs Tom Keen had a veritable feast to dine upon (well worth watching if you missed it ), not only David Blancheflower , but Joseph Stiglitz , given it was Krugman last week , quite if this marks the return of the economists facing there own wonk is interesting . I nearly fell out of my chair when Tom asked David Blancheflower “you know is all this down to you guys teaching PHD ecnomics” . Blancheflower was ever elusive to any solution but perhaps that is due to his beaurocrat/academia background , I suppose you cant be called a wonk if you never call anything definitivly. I have never been too sure about Joseph Stiglitz , and his new book on inequality perhaps did little for me , but he did respond to some penetrating questions , I perhaps might have liked to see how turning his neat soundbite round worked as road to truth he cited irrational goverments , but if banks were the irrational party and goverments too big to fail , illuminates the EU problem . Of course his book is fortuatatas in that we are now seeing money despartely seeking a safe haven , even if no return , which perhaps tell us somthing about where the inequality is located . He was perhaps fair that inequality has different forms , wether he goes onto to consider wether certain political constructs have more considerations than others , seemed lacking , but then he would have to admit that capitalism has the most potential to remove inequality , even if having to live with some inequal aspects of it . In my view this could also be a moment for the asian markets , where there is corruption , as corruption fails capitalism as much as it did communism . I mean surely the most obvious place to start on the subject of inequality , are the governments that run corrupt systems , after that for me it breaks down into ecnomic ability and low cost but decent government . He was right in my view on the reason for jobs and considering what sort of taxation , but then that requires some thought on how you fix the commodity variables , or even if that is morally better than true free markets . But then you wonder if looking upon the mess of the eurozone , why the self economists that made the wonk spin , were not early on the curve and active of the calamity on the long money shunt into the buffers of devaluation through inflation we are seeing , bit late for the book in some ways , with some of the big ecnomic institutions still swaning around on canapes meetings , hoping someelse has to do the work to turn it around in a vast beauratic paralysis where memos just bounce around internally and no doers are present .

    George Soros is a clever man , to make the claim that these governments do not understand the problem for me was his most startling claim of the essay , Blancheflower thinks its too complex to be short term , George Soros gives it 3 months . so we have the two views , however what Blancheflowers conviction in that time is needed , does not elude to wether he beleives more debt is needed ?? His nice liitle visual of George Osbourne as Austerity bear , perhaps assumes you can magic debts away , but then he doesnt say much about deficets and there wheres and hows .
    The eurozone has had 22 meetings since the financial crisis blew to put remedys in place , it is quite obvious that the big bazooka , was just some sort of crack filler and decoration effort , again with other peoples money and efforts . Curious isnt it in finance we seem to compensate the crooks but not the victims of large scale fiscal imcompetence , and then the super institutions like the IMF and world bank , go along with it as though a ribbon of wonk is now running through one inbred financial system .

    Perhaps when everyone has run out of snorting class A , global wonk , someone will realise , home mattered all along , alas the crooks have been and gone , having corrupted goverment bit late to consider if ,filling the alarm system with sound deadening money spin and complexity, was a such a brilliant idea ?.

    Like

    • 180

      FFS nam! Too prolix. Your thoughts are often excellent but …

      Summarise!

      Soros was right in his Trento speech as these muppets in government know next to nothing.

      Like

      • 208
        Magnificent Bastard says:

        You’re right his thoughts are often excellent so knowing that I do tend to persevere, a feline would know such things instinctively.

        Like

      • 239
        Tay King-dePisse, sleepless (but not in Seattle) says:

        Not so much the length, as the idiosyncratic punctuation, misspellings, multiplicity of subordinate clauses, and other avoidable jumble. Other than that, no problems.

        (Down at 232, 1:18 am, “[T]he gin has kicked in…” Counterintuitively, he seems a bit more succinct and accessible; it’s an observation, nothing more than that.)

        Like

    • 184
      WVM says:

      Interesting post ‘not a machine’ although I think Soros’ is playing his own game too, he always has so why would he stop now eh? Not saying he’s wrong but you have to keep that in mind. In other news I’ve noticed in the first four months of this year Chinese purchases of gold have increased by 782% over that of 2011.

      Like

      • 224
        A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

        Not a machine doesnt post he cuts and pastes ! I think we are meant to laugh at the irony of his moniker.

        Like

    • 191
      Brief says:

      Too many words Dude. Keep it simple stupid.

      Like

      • 196
        hannibal lecter says:

        Don’t be too hard on him, he’s obviously got some personal issues he needs to work through.

        Like

        • 234
          not a machine says:

          Your a tough bunch to please , I am quite sure Mr Soros is considering what oppertunities to any moves on the euro are , he was perhaps after all the very first of the hedge fund raiders when the ERM broke .

          If I am not quite smart enough to understand why the EU has done nothing well , but to wait until you have people rumaging in dust bins , is just beyond me .(issue ime working through together with socialist wonkfest that we had)

          best gig on a rather eclectic night for me , was Sir Elton John and Sir Tom Jones , I know some of Sir Eltons works reflect times in his life , but he is a performer and who doesnt like crocodile rock ?. Dame Shirleys diamonds are forever was a decent effort . What a shame tie me kangeroo down sport , eum eh eum ehehe ….. didnt make it .
          Felt rather sorry for H M , I mean she had to attend and yet Prince Phillip was down the road in hospital, Prince Charles gently lifting the mood , with if you shout loud enough he might just be able to hear you … wonder if it broke the record for most people saying Hip Hip Hooray in unison Still quite a concert with somthing for everyone .

          Right off to bed the gin has kicked in and typos will ensue (they do anyway) , hope despite the rain and news , everyone somewhere will have somthing nice to remember about this Diamond jubilee celebration .

          Like

          • Cheryl says:

            Howay man pet unlee call me Cheryl naw az I haz furgotten howta spell Cole what with me being thick’n’all.

            Like

    • 193
      Andrex says:

      Soft, Strong and very very long.

      Like

    • 198
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Why not just have a raffle, the prize being to shoot Ed Balls with a machine gun.

      Like

  60. 188
    ed milliband in an elton john suit says:

    I’m thtill thanding

    Like

  61. 189
    A full risk asessment says:

    I can only conclude vthat the BBC has decided it is time for the Queen to die.

    Yesterday they drenched her in freezing water and exposed her to an arctic gale. Tonight while her husband lies in hospital in extreme agony they plonk her out on one of the coldest nights of the year to listen to that other Queen Elton John

    Like

    • 197
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Elton was as flat as a pancake.
      Who picked the trash compares?

      Like

      • 272
        Anonymous says:

        The BBC is still determined to make everyone believe Miranda Hart is funny.

        I don’t know why.

        Like

        • 277
          BBC Comedy Department says:

          I was disapointed she didnt fall over after her skirt fell down exposing her nickers.

          Like

    • 207
      the treacherous bbc says:

      The BBC made that decision quite a while ago. Think they may be holding out for Liz/Maggie double whammy wankfest.

      Like

      • 222
        A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

        Sir Cliff was really good, provided you make allowances for him singing in a key different from his band.

        Like

        • 228
          Magnificent Bastard says:

          It was like watch the film Cocoon, there’s a lot to be said for growing older gracefully.

          Like

  62. 195
    hell on earth says:

    Lenny Henry…I hate him even more than I hate Annie Lennox.
    Seriously.

    Like

  63. 201
    WVM says:

    Apparently some AIG big cheese called “Benmosche” (yes he has a well kept beard too) says that after the shit has hit the fan and the last dollops of shite and sweetcorn have settled on the shag pile the world will need to retire at 80 to pay for it all.

    Well that will work… Logan’s run here we come!

    Like

  64. 202
    TheCambrian1991 says:

    Played poker with Kade Callous over a mates house about 2 months ago, beat him too. He was a really well spoken and nice guy, didnt even realise he was a wrestler til we chatted afterwards and he put on a show (shouting and boasting and stuff) in front of our mates!

    Like

  65. 214
    the Queen is dead long live the King says:

    Madness were very good. So was Charles. I think that this is the start of the hand over, it was no accident that Camilla was put on stage next to the Queen. they piulled it off very well.

    Glad I’m not a Belgium or a German or a frog.

    Like

    • 215
      FREEDOM says:

      What i like is that our royalty is unlike the Olympics totally noncommercial and spontaneous. Copy the Olympic rings and get a criminal record copy the union jack and get a hug.

      Like

    • 220
      A Bloke Of A Certain Age says:

      Really, so what have we to make of the fact that Cheryl Cole was placed right next to the Queen on her right hand side ?

      Like

      • 227
        Magnificent Bastard says:

        Awww fuck now you’ve done it, the red tops will be all over that tomorrow morning!

        Like

  66. 217
    Red Ken ( pond life ) Livingscum says:

    Can I come outside now ? Have the tiny band of Royalists fucked off yet ?

    Like

  67. 218
    Polly Toynbee's dried up vag says:

    Like

    • 221
      Potty Toynbee says:

      I’m such a sad, sad loser. I haven’t quite got over the fall of the Berlin Wall.

      Like

    • 225
      Magnificent Bastard says:

      What a sad lonely old crow, how more bitter and twisted can she get?

      Like

    • 231
      Shirley Temple says:

      Aww, don’t listen to old Miss Grumpy– sing along with me!

      Like

    • 244
      Marmite says:

      Pollytwaddle really is a sad bwitch. I saw that programme, and I’ve come to the conclusion that she’ll say anything to get noticed. Pathetic, ugly, self opinionated, dried up pi*ce of red shyte. She doesn’t even live in this country for more than a couple of weeks at a time.

      Why are “republicans” so bad mannered and thick?………..

      Like

      • 263
        Bareback Mounting says:

        She could’ve of played leather face in the texas chainsaw massacre,no need for make up.

        Like

  68. 219
    Socialists = Sociopaths says:

    Like

    • 230
      Patriot says:

      Warsi takes her husband’s second cousin – an unknown Walthamstow spice merchant and local government employee to pakistan, a man whose politics have never been tested at the ballot box, in order to negotiate a ‘second road’ with our supposed allies where the professionals in NATO and the foreign office have failed. She forgets to mention her direct financial relationship, and still hasn’t told us what his politics are: is he still in Hizb Ut Tahir? Does he still believe in that party’s aims?

      More to the point thanm Labour complaining, why had the secret services failed to spot what was going on and why hasn’t Cameron sacked her on the spot?

      Like

      • 258
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        As she is part owner of said spice company it looks to me like she used public money to take her and her chum on a curry powder buying trip
        Why do they have dozens of “second cousins” and no first ones ?

        Like

  69. 233
    The EU Jubilee says:

    Comrades, all hail our glorious leaders!

    Free Speech!?!? Throw that stupid girl in jail, 56 days or 21 weeks who fuckin’ cares!
    Surely an illegal immigrant can take her place of work for less money with no benefits or liability. We must spend more in government programs to improve education because everyone knows education for educations sake creates millions of jobs out of thin air.
    Hand-in-hand with our glorious state corporations we will make the motherland something the fatherland would be bloody well proud of! Watch the BBC my sheep and learning to inhale the propaganda smoke of true hopium! I have a note saying everything is okay and it’s signed by the ECB, BOE, FED and her Royal majesty Van Roumpy Pumpy himself – paper promises are real, truth is fiction, war is peace, blah blah blah and all that bollocks.

    HAIL!

    Now get back to fucking work.

    Like

    • 236
      not a machine says:

      The euros had 12 yrs , and doesnt look like any celebratory concert even on horizon .

      Like

  70. 237
    Rightallalong says:

    Did Lembit overdo this ‘muscular Liberalism’ thing ?

    Like

  71. 238
    Anonymous says:

    no doubt the wretched tories wll love this

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/jun/04/jubilee-pageant-unemployed

    so long as it’s not them being forced into slave labour in the UK in 2012.

    Oh I forgot, you’re all millionaires and business men, thats right isn’t it? That’s how come you can spend all day on here making stupid comments whilst the country goes down down down …………….

    fuck the queen fuck parliament and fuck the tories

    Like

    • 245
      Marmite says:

      Are you pissed, or just plain r/e/t/a/r/d/e/d?
      Feck off to another country (if they’ll have you, which I doubt) if you don’t like it.
      Utter toe-rag and, as usual for republicans, utterly d/e/l/u/d/e/d/.

      Happy anniversary your Maj.

      Like

    • 246
      a non says:

      No pleasing some people eh? Free holiday / work experience trip to London instead of wasting away in their place of residence. Free clothes, shoes / boots, equipment and meals, but more important the probability they will be taken on for well paid work at the Olympics, where undoubtedly room and board will be organised.
      That 2 of the 80 had to spend between 1 or 2 hours [check the time frame] sheltering from the rain- the poor darlings. Why no other newspaper [ even the beeb] is carrying this story would suggest it is the classical Guardian exception rather than the general rule, to what was an enjoyable day for the majority .

      Like

    • 249
      You are either pissed,stoned or a very sad and bitter person .now please fuck off..thank you says:

      You really ought to get out more and stop believing all the propaganda that the Guardian,the BBC , Labour and the unions tell you.

      Like

    • 256
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      I wonder which MP fail to declare his major shareholding in Protection UK ?
      Lets set up yet another inquiry

      Like

      • 264

        Right.

        Everyone else has seen it – except Mad Frankie.

        Juliet Samuel:

        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD. Silly old fucker, he will probably miss it again… Why does men’s eyesight seem to go at a certain age?

        Like

    • 262
      National Socialist says:

      Yea same old shit. These people should be grateful to be involved.

      “Molly Prince, managing director of Close Protection UK, said in a statement: “We take the welfare of our staff and apprentices very seriously indeed.”

      Exploitation in the name of profit alive ad well in Tory Britain.

      Like

  72. 247
    Desmond Swayne says:

    Comrades

    Some of you may be concerned about my use of the term “comrades”. There’s nothing to fear. Now let’s all sing The Red Flag.

    Like

    • 250
      Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

      C’mon on Dessie ! Let’s all have three rousing choruses of “Land of Hope and Glory” fololowed by “Jerusalem” instead !!!

      Like

  73. 251
    Death Watch says:

    Dear BBC controller. Please make reality show where Polly Toynbee is dressed in her summer finest and then is made to go out on a boat in a force 10 Gale and must stand upright for 4 hours and wave at passing pleasure craft as she slowly turns blue because her body core temperature is at dangerously low levels. It would bring pleasure to millions.

    PS. To humiliate Polly even further you could keep cutting away to your top talent doing silly things to celebrate Polly’s suffering. The icing on the cake would be to find a 90 year old relative of Polly and force him to stand beside her.

    Yours, a sadist.

    Like

  74. 252
    Baroness Warsi says:

    There is no truth in the rumour that I am making a televised apology to the British people today at 6-00pm.

    Like

  75. 257
    Lad Brokes says:

    We still have plenty of 2/1 available about Baroness Warsi to be the first Cabinet minister to leave.

    Place your bets ladies and gents

    Like

    • 270
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      I’ll put my house on it that it won’t
      My money is on David Laws
      Liam Fox and Chris Huhne
      , So pay up !

      Like

  76. 259
    worried says:

    O/T Guido. Recent twitter pics would suggest Neo has entered a pre midlife manopause period / crisis moment in his life. Despite his obvious journalistic professionalism that runs in parallel with wild hair and a dressed down approach at media appointments I begin to worry that with the addition of celebrity stubble he will soon be sporting a gold chain around his neck, to complete this cry for help. His having informed relatives hovering around the rag trade does not help the situation either.
    Have you noticed his need for new toys around the office? Does he have trouble reaching the falsetto notes when practising his karaoke moves? Obviously planning to add yet another intern at the office can be unsettling for some, but more so for others…..

    Like

    • 268
      O. R. Gasm says:

      The answer is in your hands and how you use your equipment – vitally important for the elderly!

      Like

  77. 266
    Anonymous says:

    yet another day of right royal extravagance.

    heard on tv that the queen is the link between god and her people

    what utter fucking royalist shit

    theres no wonder she never carries any money then

    get rid of them

    Like

    • 276
      Anonymous says:

      This belief in the Royal link with the devine was abandoned in the English Civil war and the Monarchy which came out of the Glorious revolution of 1690 was NOT one which claimed the devine right of Kings. For anyone to talk of such things in this day and age is spouting Shite !

      Like

  78. 267
    BitLem says:

    It was the asteroids wot dun it!

    Like

  79. 278
    Moby Dick says:

    lembit –it looked like you were a piece of meat flung about than a wrestler

    Like

  80. 284
    Clint says:

    A cheeky boy has to know his limitations.

    Like

  81. 286
    Truther says:

    I don’t see what’s funny about someone being stretchered off with an injury.

    Get real you spiteful idiots.

    Like

  82. 287
    VulgarDisplayOfPower says:

    King Cnut.

    Like


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We also need Zil lanes.


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