Dessie Swayne Orchestrating PMQs
Dessie Swayne, the PM’s PPS, has had issues with emails leaking before. The Sunday Telegraph got hold of his email to Tory MPs an hour before the PMQs battle. He gives them their orders:
From: SWAYNE, Desmond
Sent: 23 May 2012 10:58
Subject: PMQs
Comrades,
Given the ‘shivers’ of Christine Lagarde I hope you will agree with me that it will be appropriate for Ed Milliband to be greeted when he rises for the first time (there are no tributes to-day) with vociferous demands for an apology.
Last week we rather dried up as the half hour wore on, and comrades at the end of the order paper did not enjoy as vociferous support as they deserved, nor the PM’s responses to them: Please show sufficient stamina for full half hour.
Free hits on business successes from your constituencies are welcome.
The week before it was
From: SWAYNE, Desmond
Sent: 16 May 2012 10:45
Subject: PMQs
Comrades,
There are 2 free hits, but there may be more at the end as it is a relatively short order paper to-day.
I anticipate lots of LoL gags so let’s have a protective wall of sound. If Ed even grudgingly acknowledges anything positive in to-day’s unemployment figures then instantaneously bring down the roof ‘yereyereyere…”. Notwithstanding the unemployment figures I anticipate the main attack will be ‘recession made in downing street … eurozone avoided UK double dip … etc’ so can we have lots of positive endorsements of our strategy using local examples of export success/expansion.
We know this is a game played by both sides. It is embarrassing to see it in print. Another little sign that discipline is breaking down on Tory backbenches.
Its all gone wrong since the Guru left.
Jeez, another twat I’ve never heard of crawls out of the woodwork. Guido, you’re wonderful to keep me thus informed.
Dear Comrades, we’re allowing 10,000 immigrants a week into Britain – just like the NuLabScum did.
We’ll keep quiet about that, though.
What has Dave done? Pilgrims gone, deficit reduced, immigration down, promised referendum? Thought not. Can any of you horny devils think of something Tony mkII has achieved.
The coalition has not been an effective enough government. The only people who are misguided enough to believe otherwise are failing to get out of Westminster often enough.
Comrades? F in Comrades. Has the blue party now become the red party.
Never ever i thought I would see the day when conservative MPs were called comrades. That’s it for me I will never vote Conservative again until this person is sacked and an apology given.
If he was ejerkated since the mid 60s, he probably can’t spell ‘colleagues’.
Most of the commenters on this blog come into that category
One could say that certian bloggers and journolists get these e-mails every week ( i include you in this) so you can theme the views on Pmqs, Most of your Livechat titles are always bang on.
So one could say this could be you trying to distance yourself from the coalition.
But i could`nt possibly comment
With Neo gone walkabout and his beloved Ireland having run away from responsibilities to future generations it is hardly surprising big G’s foundations are being undermined.
Don’t hit a man when he’s down.
Why not?
Because a good kicking is so much more satisfying.
We play the tunes, they do the dancing, not vice-versa.
Sad thing is, I believe you.
Just shows what useless cυnts the Tory Boys are: have to go to you to get a thought to use.
Guido’s newsroom. Music to soothe the savage breast.
There is certainly something that is Westminsterial about the random chaos in this classic gem.
True, a pertinent comment on here has greater effect than a letter to The Times.
Times change.
WTF!
Comrades? Does he think he’s in the Labour Party ffs? Oh wait a minute…..
To be fair, it must be so easy to become confused about such things. The consequences of any part of liblabcon being in government are near enough the same.
they can all , red or blue , take a run & jump off my royal barge this weekend
It was’nae ‘Her’ Royal Barge, the grinning thing took that away and spent the money on err something or other.
What a tosser. Still, I suppose it’s what a twerp has to do to get on.
Whilst calling a Tory ‘comrade’ may be amusing every once in a while, it kinda loses it’s humour immediately – what’s wrong with colleagues or members?
Friends?
It is obviously time to abolish the House of Commons if this pantomime of democracy is what people sent there to represent their constituents think is a useful way to spend their time.
http://t.co/nNdb7RuD
Do not talk about me today.
And this shower of shyte want to govern the country AGAIN. They couldn’t run a bath, the w*nkers!
“Another little sign that discipline is breaking down on Tory backbenches”
I am doing my best to help the discipline break down,and I think that I’m succeeding
Racist. Some of my best friends are useless, fat, thick, lazy, hypocritical tossers!
Didn’t realise Fatbot was one of your best friends Dick.
My best advice to you,Guido is to take the refund and fuck off !
Dessie Swayne?! pphffftt..
Having a bad hair day D?
http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/45621000/jpg/_45621081_-7.jpg
It is disappointing to see people who are supposed to be in government for serious reasons organising themselves to behave like children when there is so much important work that needs to be done to get our country moving again.
Indeed, there’s lots of money printing and U-turns to do.
I say you jolly chaps, – or should I say collective COMRADES ha ha hah hahh ahhahh! . . . . . this dashed rain ….. will it dilute the current from the Wind Mills so we get less lolly? Or is there some dashed clever way we can charge the common people for it? Watt? Wattage? Amps???!!
So nnow we know why Dave’s party acts like a bunch of lefties. They address each other like a bunch of Lefties
Why hasn’t Warsi resigned yet?
…. she ain’t going to?
Because she’s a Hunt?
There’s a new version of resignation that was introduced by the Labour Party. It’s called not resigning.
Hey! – I didn’t resign!
We did!
I’d find it hard to take anybody seriously with a name like Dеssiе Swaynе.
Thankyou Miss Kittyfuck
How about Desi Arnaz?
And dessie orchid.
desi old mill by the stream
I led people up the river for ages!
No wonder people think that politicians are the big turd that tops a full toilet bowl, what childish behavior, the same fckers are on >£64k plus expenses, sad gits.
Is there an angry crowd behind them carrying pitchforks?
This is supposed to be “The Mother of Parliaments”. Successive generations of semi-literate, totally dishonest scum politicians and their overpaid hangers-on have turned the whole thing into a 3-ring circus, with every act being that of not-very-funny clowns.
There are enough lamp-posts around Westminster to accommodate the lot, so really the best thing is to start stringing them up pronto.
No. Not hanging.
The appropriate music to play as they file into the Chamber:
Beautiful and Jaunty.
‘Discipline breaking down on Tory backbenches’
The Tory backbenchers are a rabble i grant you that, but this time I can entirely sympathise with the anger and frustration many of these soon to be ex-Tory MP’s feel.
Labour left this nation in massive debt despite inheriting a rapidly growing economy with a balanced budget, and yet after two and a bit years, the ineptitude of the PM and his gang, allied to the cuckoo in the nest Lib Dems means we will soon have the crazed spendaholic Balls, and his Marxist sidekick Millipede running the nation.
Of course the UK is largely a Labour supporting nation, as a Labour government means free money for scroungers and state employed paper shufflers, but how can it have gone so wrong in under three years?
We need an idealogue at the helm, someone who holds beliefs, and will stick to them.
Labour will smash the economy again and continue to allow the world to come and have free operations & housing here, so the Tory party needs someone who can draw a dividing line.
Not Dave then.
***NEWSFLASH*** the Tories are doing exactly the same thing except making sure their chums run the franchises. The amount of excuses, the lack of strategy, the fuck up of policy announcements, of PR, of any sop to appease those who voted, campaigned, worked for them. They complain that government’s too hard, too complex yet Cameron sacks CCHQ and defers to civil servants. The lesson after 13 years of Labour and 2 years of Tory is that they’re all full of shit.
Labour promoted equality by bringing us all down to their level and the Tories seem ashamed of excellence and too blinkered to realise that a 1 term government pegged by the Lib Dems will achieve nothing. We’re treading water until Millibland gets in unless the SNP pull off a blinder. I’m fucking offended.
We get the Government we deserve. The nation, as far as it thinks at all, has swung to the left over a period of, say, 50 years. Now, the dependency culture is too accepted and familiar for us to escape. Too many suck the State Teat. A proper Conservative government is almost impossible to envisage, especially in an age of dumbed down education and a State Socialist Broadcasting domination.
“Please show sufficient stamina for full half hour”
Not surprising Tory Boys can’t keep it up.
Most of them have never done that much work in their lives. Useless cυnts.
erm, as oposed to all those’ horny handed sons of the soil’ on the labour benches !!!
Tory Mp’s at least have some likelehood of having had a constructive career before opting for the public teat.
Even the tory front bench ruling clique of PPE’s , probably win a points decision over the labour front bench clique of PPE’s.
Just to remind you, they’re the ones who knew the guy running the economy down the shitter was a deranged lunatic, but left him to it, just to keep in power. Now fuck off back to labourlost.
You just don’t get it do you Backwoodsman? I’ll spell it out: THEY ARE ALL, WHATEVER PARTY, USELESS, IDLE CHARLATANS. TORIES, LABOUR, LIB DEM, UKIO, SNP, PC, DUP ETC ETC. There is NOTHING to choose between them.
Labour are the enemy, but the Tories are the traitors.
so why do you vote?
Comrades? Is he pissed?
He may not be pissed but we should be, a fckin uconned us calling other uconned us comrades it defiantly tells us that the camoron’s uconned us are not right wing political party.
No, he’s a cun*t.
In the picture, he’s running behind a bigger cun*t.
Off subject but its a killer. According to the BBC presenter,the firm that made the Duchess Of Cambridge hat was also responsible for making the headgear for Nelson at the battle of Waterloo…You have just got to Larff
Wow!, how much of the poll taxpayers money did that cost to find out that piece of trivial pursuit.
BBC was crap yesterday, watched sky news. Sky did it the way it should of been done and even went a couple of hours without a break.
I don’t give a sh*t what baby is being born along the route. I want to watch the pageant. If the BBC can’t do state occasions. Then it must scraped.
Yes, scraped and the scrapped.
Modulated? pourquoi?
Encore une fois:
Y e s, s c r a p e d a n d t h e n s c r a p p e d
C’etait bien! Maintenant … nous avons un spellchecker pour notre spelling errors.
“C’est choses prennent du temps, mait la verite est proche”.
Nelson died ten years before Waterloo. It just goes to show how shit the BBC are.
Also highly paid BBC presenters twice said that HMS Belfast displaced 91,000 tons. No doubt they think she did good service against the Armada. What do we need to do to completely reform or shut down the BBC? Ask Obumma to send a couple of drones over?
No need. Plenty of home-grown ones here already.
Dessie Swayne sounds like an Irish jump jockey to me !
We’ll have none of that homophobia here.
A letter I saw said Tory MP’s, both men and women, were to eat three cans of beans an hour before PMQ’s.
Apparently the gaseous emissions reverberate so loudly on the leather that it drowns out the opposition.
This may not be true, though I wouldn’t like to sit near that Eric Pickles.
Fuckin nanny state even tells them what to do, Baaaar Baaaar !
With the likes of Guido around, you’d think politicians would have learned to encrypt their email by now.
The swine! just like pigs at the trough …. with all their comrades.
On another matter – It appears in the Maillegraph that Michael Dugher (who finally got himself elected as an MP in 2010) is attempting to lead the calls for war si to resign when it was Nick G who made the complaint.
Hold your horses all you “Reactionary pinkos” – The “issue” is against Warsi.
Francis Elliott – wrote in the Sun Telegraph some years ago an article – which he appears to have forgotten …. (Convenient amnesia) it named Dugher as a bully boy enforcer – down at millbank.
Dugher – has a very ‘dubious background himself’ – from his days as being a SpAd – for Blairs favourite Union Baron – Sir Ken Jackson (of AEEU days)
Dugher – was one of Geoff Buff Hoons SpAds at the kelly hutton Iraq – not on Oath huton whitewash ….
What a shame Elliott – did not at the time – persue ‘evidence that had been brought to his attention’ – and why didn’t Elliott report certain matters to the police?
What goes around comes around. Some of it was not ever meant to come out but its going to.
* pursue * – otherwise fascinating stuff
Found the article. Note – once its published into the Public Domain – The Public own it.
“Everyone’s sorry now” – Sun Telegraph page 16 – 9th June 2002. It’s more pertinent NOW than ever before.
Key words to article: Smearing of Pam Warren / Dan Corry / Byers / Jo Moore / Barrie Clement < who told him what etc…
Thanks and "I am truly and genuinely Sorry" about the odd typo mistake.
“fascinating” as in the sense of “who gives a fuck?”
You are obviously a Marxist Communist Labour loving dupe then.
But watch out you Red sucker – the people are not going to be herded into the EUSSR like they was back in 1917.
This time the Marxists are going down – forever.
Been waiting for some big brother correction on the previous …. so here it is
I report myself to the moderator & the State Police and those who constantly correct; and thus correct my initial failing to word the wording correctly
“This time the Marxists are going down – forever.” The Correct terminology should have been:-
This time the Marxists and those who should be ashamed of themselves for having fallen for the Marxist duplicity, like those who espouse – wordings like (without actually knowing anything about history – but who are aboard the gravy-train – The Swine/s) Comrades! are going down – forever.
Please don’t put me in prison ‘cos I’m really, really scared and fearful …. that I might get known as a bit of a dissident.
And we voted these people into to lead and inspire and look after us!!!!! Any chance of putting substance over form?
This is not the end BUT the beginning of the END………..
And does not mean Milliepeed The Minor & ZanuLieLabor’s Annal Rejects are going to inherit the keys of No.10 by default, they should be legally barred from getting there hands on the levers of power for the next 100 years, for the damage inflicted on all us during there reign of terror from 1997 to 2010….
The solution is how we vote……….Nigel your time is near….!! Vote UKIP !!