May 31st, 2012

This Week’s Guidogram, Written By the Intern…

The Guidogram round-up goes out weekly. It covers all the goings on and the best bits of the blog you may have missed in the week. This week we made the successful summmer-intern-to-be have a three bottle lunch with us, and then write the Guidogram. We explained to him that over 10,000 Westminster insiders from Downing Street and all the newsrooms are on the list.  No pressure.

Join the conspiracy and become a subscriber to the Guidogram, it is free, and keep in the loop.

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…


  1. 1
    Need to know? says:

    Is there any compo if its rubbish?

  2. 2
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Oh dear, not a good day for the BBC. Steve Hewlett on the BBC sticking up for Hunt.

    The Champagne bottles won’t be strewn around the BBC tonight.

  3. 3
    You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction says:

    I hope she is a good as Nomates

    Who, I see, invites you to her gigs…

  4. 4
    annette curton says:

    Ouoh!, “three bottle lunch”, Tomato ketchup, H.P.Sauce and Non-brewed Condiment.

  5. 5
    Rebekah and Charlies says:

    Recent report on our Bullingdon Club meeting at Chequers :

    “We saw of media journalists so we moved to a different part of the quadrangle. There may or may not have been trees”.

    There was certainly a Prime Minister and a Horse…

  6. 6
    Rupert my Hero says:

    Unpaid ?

  7. 7
    Rupert my Hero says:

    or Underpaid ?

  8. 8
    Rupert my Hero says:

    or is a Member of Parliament ?

  9. 9
    BlowingWhistles says:

    Don’t forget the “Leapfrogged over” appearance of Peter Brooke at Leveson.

    For the unenlightened:-

    Leveson = Judge
    Peter Brook = Older brother of another Judge
    Lord Justice Brook = Younger brother of Peter Brooke.

    No bias, conflicts of interest, partiality, slef-protection etc there then…. Brother!

  10. 10
    Lizzie says:

    “This week we made the successful summmer-intern-to-be have a three bottle lunch with us”

    One suspects a mere three bottle lunch with Guido means the poor intern didn’t get anything to drink anyway …

  11. 11
    Twisted Nerve says:

    “…..over 10,000 Westminster insiders from Downing Street and all the newsrooms are on the list…..”

    Hardly going to start the revolution, is it dear?

  12. 12
    Mini Gouiido says:

    I was the culprit

    I scoffed it all ‘cos they told me it was a Tatler event

  13. 13
    Thumb Screw says:


    They just don’t get it.

  14. 14
    Dr Freud said all women suffered from penis envy says:

    This blog has become confusing

    It seems to be an unnautral cross between the Daily Fur and the Tatler

    That will produce endless Y Fronts, I believe

  15. 15

    She has a birthday coming up.

  16. 16
    Salvador Dali says:

    I always said arseholes were perfect

    They were (and are) perfectly symmetrical

  17. 17

    Forget Freud.

    I get penis envy at the nudist site…

    Nothing to be done.

  18. 18
    The Pope's Butler, temporarily incapacitated says:

    I think you should raise your game Guido

    And talk about things intellectual and spiritual for once

  19. 19
    2f9n0 says:

    Have you screwed the intern yet?

  20. 20
    Thumb Screw says:

    Funny you should say that. My mate just coughed up £1200 for a pair of Arsen Wenger’s autogaphed briefs.

    True, not that funny, but another comment for the advert vultures, though. *Waves*

  21. 21

    Oldest question on the internet:

    How do you know the intern is a she?

  22. 22
    The Pope's Butler, temporarily incapacitated says:

    The trouble with cats is that you cannot find their organs

    Even if you try

  23. 23
    Demonic Strauss Kahn says:

    After three bottles that is an irrelevant detail

  24. 24
    Guido says:

    Tried that. We got “8illy”

    Next suggestion?

  25. 25
    Y Fronties, hanging left says:

    If Arsen Winger of that Ilk can get $1,200

    I can get a £1 million for mine

    After all, I am a star of the stage, screen, internet and tele…

  26. 26

    Oh God!

    Not another set of ghastly revelations from the Holy See?

  27. 27
    Louise Mensch says:

  28. 28
    You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction says:

    50 already? She wears it well. Are you going?

  29. 29
    Peta says:

    Because the email address I used to subscribe to the Guidiogram was shortly to become obselete I unsubscribed, fully intending to subscribe again under a new email address. It seemed a reasonable thing to do. Why would you want to send emails to an obsolete addy? It would just waste bandwidth on an already crowded internet.

    Before I had a chance to resubscribe, and while the old email account was still active, I received a response to my ‘unsubscription’. The unsubscription is just a list affair, no question of giving reasons so I certainly didn’t criticise the Guidiogram. I can’t quote exactly because I didn’t bother to keep it but the response was along the lines of “we never much liked you anyway”. Such pique! Needless to say, after that display of juvenile ego I didn’t trouble to resubscribe.

  30. 30
    Ms Mental says:

    “Of course the PM won’t be referring Jeremy Hunt as there was, obviously, no breach of the min code. Once again, Labour overshoots the mark.”

  31. 31
    Y Fronties, hanging left says:

    Try this nice guy for ideas

    He is currently being publicised throughout the UK media

    and of course by Huffy Pussy Wuffy Spotty Huffy Posty

  32. 32
    anon says:

  33. 33
    Pink says:

    Sounds worse than “Cake” then?

  34. 34
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Just a thought is your new intern medhi hason or owen i scream like a girl jones

  35. 35
    Eric Joyce says:

    Did someone mention a mini bar?

  36. 36
    Chris Bryant says:

    *hatches plan*

  37. 37
    Eric Pickles says:

    I love cake. I have eaten 14 of Mr Kipling’s sponge cakes this afternoon.

  38. 38
    Lizzie says:

    It probably was, one can easily envisage Guido taking an intern-to-be to a do paid for by someone else and calling it an introductory lunch!

  39. 39
    the ghost of Mary Whitehouse says:

    What a fucking rude c’unt.

  40. 40
    Mzzzzzz. ‘Mad’ Batty Hatty HaHaHaPerson, the LieBore Gift that keeps on giving says:

    If you boyz want any help wiv Meedia ‘n stuff – DO get in touch wiv me! – or in any uvva way you like! – like Tony, – I’m open to all offas!

  41. 41
    After a dozen they're all the same says:

    I just tell ‘em to drop ‘em, bend down and hang on their socks

  42. 42
    John from Hull with revs from the nORTH sEA says:

    I used ter tell ‘em, – hot or cold, – don’t put John on hold! geddit? Anyone gotta pie?

  43. 43
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Ha! Channel 4 news now reporting that people killed in Syria were killed by neighbours NOT Syrian government.

    So when will BBC say sorry?

  44. 44
    Jeremy C/Hunt - Renaissance Shyster, Polygaff, Media Smarm-mongerer & Secretary Of State For Culture says:

    hi dave. did i perform well? blinked at camera few times but avoided smirking overall. democracy + plurality etc. should distract attention from coulsons arrest. any news of a plum job for adam?

  45. 45
    Crouching Lettuce, Hidden Quisling says:

    thx jeremy. already declaring that you are now inviolate. need you 199% in your role. tell adam to keep his head up & am looking 4 new job 4 him in quango sumwhere.


  46. 46

    Too recherché for me.

  47. 47
    a non says:

    Premature ejaculation is a recognised Socialist failing. Hardly surprising their spokesman Balls always warns against too fast too deep.

  48. 48
    Raving Loon says:

    If her voice is deeper than yours, it’s probably a bad sign. Unless of course you’re Joe Pasquale, in which case never mind.

  49. 49
    Anonymous says:

    Thats not what Yvette says……….

  50. 50

    1. I am not part of the cognoscenti.

    2. I wouldn’t want to be if I could.

    3. I am 1000 miles away.

    4. Girls of a similar age here don’t wear any clothes in the summer.

    5. I have some good books to read.

    Could go on but I think you get my drift…

  51. 51

    Oh! Nearly forgot:

    The wine here is just over £1 a litre.

  52. 52

    Just looked Joe Pasquale up on Wiki.

    Unsurprised that I have never heard of him.

    Since I am not offering internships, despite the cheap wine here, that keeps me out of the danger area.

  53. 53
    UKIPMAN says:

    Balls is bollocks. Yvette is proof. Did you ever see such a face other than on a dead fish?

  54. 54
    chris huhne says:

    I’m in court tomorrow!

  55. 55

    And Charlene Mitchell looked as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth…

  56. 56
    Fish says:

    Premature congratulation

  57. 57
    Felix says:

    Read the article idiot. It clearly says “We explained to him”

  58. 58
    Bugler Bert says:

    May I suggest an idea to stop the lefty BMA dead in the water? It is simple:- make the senior civil servants that are on the same pay scales pay the same amount into their pensions…..That would upset all those overpaid Labourites whose “advice” is wrecking the budget in the ghastly hope of getting Labour back in control asap!

  59. 59
    Francois Hollande says:

    I am the successor to Napoleon and Charlemagne!

  60. 60
    Sir William Waad says:

    Lovely suit, Jeremy.

  61. 61
    Naughty Johnny says:

    Verdict in John Edwards trial due very soon.

  62. 62
    a non says:

    Austerity bites eh Neo.?
    Normally suave and debonair may I humbly suggest a new blade in your shaver. For a spokesman on the Beeb you did not shine for your choice of openshirt and 3 oçlock shadow [ I know it is meant to suggest virility but it reminded me of Gordon]

  63. 63
    Sir Aston Martin says:


  64. 64

    If one spends too long on the internet, one finds that other uses of bottles exist apart from holding drіnk prior to consumption.

    Now I would never want to spread tittle-tattle about our esteemed host.


  65. 65
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    May I ask what they were autographed with? ‘Twould be a remarkable skill, needing a new term — what’s the Greek for “arse-writing”?

  66. 66
    Pot to piss says:

    I’m all for innocent until proven guilty but Mick and Mairead Tosspot have guilty written all over their fugly faces.

  67. 67
    Sir Aston Martin says:


    I happen to know SC has a treasured collection of Max Bygraves LPs (issued by Pickwick and, er, Ronco). He was also a fan of Val Doonican before the drugs kicked in. Am highly sceptical of this claim not to have heard of the squeaky-voiced loon.

  68. 68
    Biased Broadcasting Corporation says:

    All the leftie twats out on Twitter congratulating Watson on his snide, sneering, spiteful little diatribe against Hunt in the Grauniad. The money-grubbing MP is now desperately pointing his hypocritical finger at George Osborne.

    All those smug lefties that were at the self-congratulatory awards evening that Guido attended must be spitting nails that Hunt is still in situ.

  69. 69
    Dirt Cheap Guido says:

    I’m not sure that third Alka Seltzer was a good idea. My tongue’s swollen and I can’t piss. I’m taking the rest of this week off. Byeee…

  70. 70
    HD internet porn circa 1977: extended version says:

  71. 71
    Gordon Brown says:


  72. 72
    Twisted Nerve says:

    What do their remaining 19 children think, though?

  73. 73
    Joss Askin says:

    A scam to get a bigger place that went horribly wrong?

  74. 74
    Abbott Dabba Honeymoon says:

    It sounds remarkably like what happened with Travis the Chimp; such a comparison, though, is unfair to the chimp, who, after all, was just acting on instinct. This junkie mong lowlife needed “bath salts” for HIS “chimp-out.” And yeah, OK, Diane Abbott/Lee Jasper, say what you want, but if it walks like a chimp and it talks like a chimp…

  75. 75
    Get it right says:

    Intern is a USA thing.

    Apprentice is the Great Britain equivalent

  76. 76
    Being Catty says:

    Aren’t cats just docile, useless creatures who drag dirt into every place they venture?

  77. 77
    Pot to piss says:

    I don’t think it went wrong from their point of view. Killing the children was probably part of the plan. The council had steadfastly refused to give them a bigger house, so they probably decided a new house of the same size would be preferable but with 6 less kids to house and feed. If you watch their press conference they kept dabbing their eyes with tissues but there were no tears! They were just dabbing dry eyes. The dad Mick also has a previous conviction for attempted murder for stabbing an ex girlfriend 18 times. And he’s had 17 children in total by 5 different mothers. And yet people still think the underclass sewage of the country should be allowed to reproduce.

  78. 78
    Bollocks R Eds says:

    True. But Dave is producing more Bollock ups than the official bollock master Ed Bollocks.

  79. 79
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m internal.

  80. 80
    The Doctor says:

    No no no Mr Pickles – they might look like pies to you but they are seposiTories and your supposed to shoove them up your posterior. Now stop Imagining things.

  81. 81
    will says:

    amazing how tom watson is allowed to write a column in the guardian surely someone should probe the link here and how much info is he leaking to the guardian

    Tom Watson “And with all the mesmeric revelations at the royal courts, poor Tommy Sheridan sits in his living room, ringed by an electronic tag that forces him home before the moon rises. If ever a man deserved a second chance it is Sheridan. If the prime minister wanted to atone, he might start by using his power to quash the Sheridan conviction: made by an eight to six verdict of a jury who were not in full possession of the facts.”

    So he wants david cameron to overturn a scottish courts verdict, I think that would cause real problems, as a english prime minister trying to overturn a scottish verdict. He shouls be appealing to alex salmon.

  82. 82
    Brown Envelope says:

    Hope you have prepared the necessary donations (£20 notes in bundles of 100 +) for this one Chump. This is not going to be an easy one to get away with – and we know you’ve got a lot of lolly stached away.

    Your on the stage by the way; but good of you to state in court. Remember your actors union card has only been renewed this year so that might be a problem also – another bundle or two perhaps.

  83. 83
    Must get a pseudonym one day says:

    That’s my reading of it too. Tough on the kids though.

  84. 84
    More Famous intern says:

    Monika Lewd turns 50 this week – how about that eh.

  85. 85

    What’s with all the snarky ^^^, biatch?

    I resumed my attendances at rock concerts last year. Went to see Uriah Heep at Simbach-am-Inn and Kansas at Bochum. Both fantastic. I am an unstructured prog-rock freak.

    Never even once watched I’m a Celebrity da-da-da once – even when I lived in England.

    Asti is a Simon Schama lover (interpret at will) (he also plays Tears by Ken Dodd every morning) so you can base your opinion of his veracity on that fact alone…

  86. 86

    Whilst unstructured may be correct but should have read unreconstructed.


  87. 87
    David Trance says:


    That’s right folks.

    Leave your prejudices at home; lock up the wife; put the money-grabbing kids you never meant to have on simmer; cover your PC screen with chicken wire and grab a few extra beers.

    This week’s edition features a cast of whackos, spacks, professional talking heads, the ‘general public’, other assorted socialists and, er……..VICTORIA COHEN…….. *sniffs*

    I apologise for sniffing inappropriately but I’ve just had a flashback to a day spent smelling answering Joan Bakewell’s chair phone.

    *sniffs* See you there, then?


  88. 88
    Genevieve says:

    No thank you. That blog detracts from what is already an hour’s piss-poor viewing time. The people that comment there are humourless and seemingly brain-dead.

  89. 89
    Joss Sayin says:

    Fuck me. Didn’t know he had such a distinguished history.

  90. 90
    - says:

    You fucking miserable wanker.

  91. 91
  92. 92
    Ed Miliband the working man's millionaire says:

    I’m a charlemagne socialist too.

  93. 93
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Cutting edge stuff:

    Tears for souvenirs are all you’ve left me
    Memories of a love you never meant
    I just can’t believe you could forget me
    After all those happy hours we spent (together)

    Tears have been my only consolation
    But tears can’t mend a broken heart I must confess
    Let’s forgive and forget
    Turn our tears of regret
    Once more to tears of happiness

    Etc. Tragedy brought to life. The human condition laid bare.

    Bollocks aside, Doddy is a genuine English droll, and surely he has exactly the right attitude towards HMRC.

    PS Not really a Schama fan, but he kicks Bronowski’s arse.

  94. 94

    In appreciation of Juliet Samuel:

    No longer a quarter of a century old in 10 days time.

  95. 95
    Raving Loon says:

    What’s the point in voting if Barosso et al will just decide the outcome anyway?

    Arbeit Macht Frei.

  96. 96
  97. 97
    a non says:

    Heads you lose- Tails you lose.
    You have to admire Irish humour.
    Guido may have to give back his JCB-GT

  98. 98
    Genevieve says:

    Grow up, you silly little man.

  99. 99
  100. 100
  101. 101
    call me dave says:


  102. 102
    Labour says:

    Our kind of voter.

  103. 103
  104. 104

    Are you the Genevieve who when she said to Barack in his bed I love you he would respond thank you rather than I love you, too?

    Democrats. Don’t they love themselves?

  105. 105
    OMG says:

    Just broken my dream of last night.
    Dreamed i met and Cranmer in an airport lounge.
    need to get on tablets

  106. 106
  107. 107
    AC1¾ says:

    Your face needs restructuring, that’s for fucking sure.

  108. 108
    Jimmy says:

    He’s going for the Tim Montgomerie look. All the rage among the right.

  109. 109
    Anon says:

    Ergo – Schrödinger’s cat = Democrat

  110. 110

    Dоn’t wоrry. Іt wаs оnly а drеаm. І nеvеr fly.

    Hаtе bеіng аskеd Dіd yоu pаck thіs cаsе yоursеlf? Аnd І dо lіkе tо tаkе thе kіtchеn sіnk wіth mе.

    І drіvе еvеrywhеrе – еvеn tо US, АUS аnd HK. Mаjеstіc thеsе Tоyоtа Lаndcruіsеrs…

  111. 111
  112. 112
    mogadonageddon says:

    The tablets may not be enough mate, try total oblivion.

  113. 113

    Dоn’t wоrry. Іt wаs оnly а drеаm. І nеvеr fly.

    Ηаtе bеіng аskеd Dіd yоυ pаck thіs cаsе yоυrsеlf? Аnd І dо lіkе tо tаkе thе kіtchеn sіnk wіth mе.

    І drіvе еvеrywhеrе – еvеn tо ΥS, ΆΥS аnd ΗΚ. Mаjеstіc thеsе Τоyоtа Lаndcrυіsеrs…

  114. 114

    I had typed ΗΚ, a hanging offence here.

  115. 115
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Turning 50 in a week sounds rather a lot, even for Boris Johnson.

  116. 116
    Saffron says:

    Balls with any economic knowse, don’t make me laugh,the guy is an economic joke along with his sponsor Brownie English hater.
    Millipede is still at school as regards our more tuned in people and is turning out to be a liability as regards the LIEBLAIRPARTY.
    Cammoron is also being seen as a muppet,him and his sidekick Gideon,and as for Cleggover well enough said.
    All in all what a bunch of abject chancers are purported to be running this land against the wishes of a majority of people in this land.
    When oh when sheeple are you going to wake up as to what you are being led to by the nose as to what is going on.

  117. 117
    another delusion dashed says:

    I thought you WERE Tim Montgomerie ffs.

  118. 118
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    So let me get this right. If the BBC broadcast views in opposition to Hunt they are biased. If they broadcast views in favour of Hunt, its a bad day (presumably they had no prior conversation with Hewlett so had no idea what was coming). Dear boy, do you have any ancestors named Goebbels by any chance?

  119. 119
    That liveblog is a good laugh says:

    FFS get a sense of humour!

  120. 120
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    My sympathy on your being stuck in Bulgaria.

  121. 121
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    No. You are thinking of UKIP.

  122. 122

    cum hoc ergo propter hoc AND affirming the consequent.

    In just four words. Well done – some spectacularly bad schooling there.

  123. 123

    Indeed David.

    Well in this weeks exciting episode of BBC Question Time Mr David Dimbledor chairs a debate from Rugby of all places. Where a handpicked herd of victimised brainwashed lefties all foaming at the mouth have been bused in from far and wide to make up the numbers.

    Joining Dimbledor on the biased panel tonight are:-
    Minister for uphill gardening & turd countersinking, Alan Duncan MP (age 55)
    Champagne socialist with aristocratic relations, Stella Creasy MP (age 36)
    Former Lib-Dem and rent boy turd chewing scatman, Mr Mark Oaten (age 48)
    Journo and current editor of the Spectator, posh boy Mr Fraser Nelson (age 39)
    Gambling addict and Guardian columnist Mrs Victoria Coren (age 39)

    Join the fun and games as we take the piss out of this pathetic excuse for an impartial debate, starts at 10:30pm and ALL are welcome!

    Just click this link and join in :

  124. 124
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I believe those were the exact words of Mad Frankie Fraud.

  125. 125
    Saffron says:

    Before I go to bed.
    HUNT a non story.
    BBC get over it,you lost.
    U turns again get over it you lost.
    BBC your mainline reporters are absolute shite,exactly what are you using licence payers money for in employing this kind of left wing rabble for?.
    We the licence payers would like to hear unbiased reporting of whatever events,which it appears to be not on your agenda.

  126. 126

    Your Satnav is about 500 miles out, Mr ffipps.

  127. 127
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC are biased c u n t z

  128. 128

    Indeed David.

    Well in this weeks exciting episode of BBC Question Time Mr David Dimbledor chairs a debate from Rugby of all places. Where a handpicked herd of victimised brainwashed lefties all foaming at the mouth have been bused in from far and wide to make up the numbers.

    Joining Dimbledor on the biased panel tonight are:-
    Minister for uphill gardening & turd countersinking, Alan Duncan MP (age 55)
    Champagne socialist with aristocratic relations, Stella Creasy MP (age 36)
    Former Lib-Dem and rent boy turd chewing scatman, Mr Mark Oaten (age 48)
    Journo and current editor of the Spectator, posh boy Mr Fraser Nelson (age 39)
    Gambling addict and Guardian columnist Mrs Victoria Coren (age 39)

    Join the fun and games as we take the piss out of this pathetic excuse for an impartial debate, be there at 10:30pm and ALL are welcome!

    Just click this link and join in :

  129. 129
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    I believe those were Boris’ symptoms after going after the wrong intern.

  130. 130
    annette curton says:

    Testicular Conkers.

  131. 131
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    You are aware that the literal translation is ‘Labour makes you free’?

  132. 132
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Not a problem with my colleagues. I just tell them to think of Theresa May and the cure is immediate. Unfortunately they do require viagra for the next 10 years as a side effect.

  133. 133
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    My mistake. Your ancestor was obviously Goering as he was the thick one.

  134. 134
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    A phrase I often hear from the wife.

  135. 135
    Miaoowwww says:

    Mr ffipps – Aren’t you being rather Catty with your purring superflous miaowws!

  136. 136
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Sorry, didn’t want to hurt your felines.

  137. 137
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Isn’t it interesting that the BBC are painting Liebore as all innocent when it comes to the lobbying of NI over the BSkyB bid?

    But WHO WAS IT who got the Police to lobby for 90 day detention without trial

  138. 138

    It’s the summmer of love

  139. 139
    A question of time says:

    Why does Victoria Coren insist on talking in such an irritatingly affected manner?!

  140. 140

    The only reason i kept my job is because Camerloon and Osbore put me up to it
    I have lied my arse off and sacrificed my Chum to save their scrawny necks
    I am really suprised that old Cleggover has kept quiet after old Vince was removed for not liking the Murdochs

  141. 141

    I see old Turd breath Oaten is on QT

  142. 142
    ah says:

    NEWSnight…. James Bond…..WTF???

  143. 143
    Ah! Monika says:

    oops, twas me

  144. 144

    Notice the careful words on QT by the political crooks (MP’s) when talking about pension cuts
    “Many people across the country are having to comtribute more acept less pay out and work longer”
    But strangely enough NOT MP’s as they exempted themselves from the pension revue right at the start

    How long are we going to put up with being shafted by these wankers ?

  145. 145
    Ah! Monika says:

    And how do you get to become a PROFESSOR in Film Studies?

  146. 146
    Ah! Monika says:

    ‘Bidisha’ must be cold, wearing gloves!!!

  147. 147


    At least she is back to addressing you in familiar mode…

  148. 148
    Handypara says:

    So Mark Oaten, on Newsnight, believes it would be jingoistic of us to wish to inhibit a flood of Greek immigrants seeking UK benefits.
    And the normally intelligent Victoria Coren totally ignores the difference in circumstances between when her ancestors came her and the current situation.
    Silly cow!

  149. 149
    Handypara says:

    So Mark Oaten, on Newsnight, believes it would be *jingoistic* of us to wish to inhibit a flood of Greek immigrants seeking UK benefits.
    And the normally intelligent Victoria Coren totally ignores the difference in circumstances between when her ancestors came her and the current situation.
    Silly cow!

  150. 150

    Did she spit or swallow?

    We may never know…

  151. 151

    Neither of the Coren kids are a patch on Alan.

  152. 152
    Anonymous says:

    If I were you I’d kill myself. Sorry.

  153. 153
    Blairesque says:

    Tough on the causes of kids

  154. 154
    anonymous says:

    like the bullingdon, etonian, tory boys you mean?

  155. 155
    Lily Savage MP says:

    There’s a little bit of Tim in all of us.

  156. 156
    John Edwards says:

    I beat the rap on one count and got a hung jury on the other five, and the feds have no plans to re-try me. I’m doin’ pretty good for a li’l ol’ country lawyer. Well, the first syllable of “country” anyway.

  157. 157
    albacore says:

    You’ve got to concur it’s a joke and a half
    The commies must really be having a larf
    It doesn’t take Hitlers or Bonapartes
    Just tricksters, traitors and piss-taking farts
    Home-grown and nurtured, blood-sucking fleas
    To bring old England down to her knees

  158. 158
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    More like the Jack Nance look.

    (And NO, I’m not saying he’s “nancy.”)

  159. 159
    Gordon Brown, channelling his inner Mighty Mouse, says:

    Mr. Trouble never hangs around,
    When he hears I’m Gordon Brown!
    “Here I come to save the day!”
    Means that Gordon Brown is on his way!
    When there is a wrong I need to right,
    Gordon Brown will win the fight!
    On the sea or on the land,
    I have the situation well in hand!

  160. 160
    armite says:

    All the BBC need to do Tristam is to report the news without ANY BIAS whatsoever. They are a public service, paid for by the public.

    They should not be spouting leftie b*llox or any other b*llox for that matter.

    The BBC is an utter disgrace and should be made to go commercial and pay for itself. We’d soon see how long it lasts then.

    Over staffed and over opinionated l*ad of leftie tossers.

  161. 161
    Marmite says:

    Can’t wait you b*stard!

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    Watson is Wormtongue to Brown’s Dark Lord, just going about his master’s business of overbearing spite and mendacity. It’s all part of the programme of the threat to destroy Murdoch by that fucking awful waste of oxygen, Brown.

  163. 163
    Mrs Schrödinger says:

    Oi, knob’ed!

  164. 164
    Anon says:

    Congratulations, you’ve just shown yourself to be an anal pedant of the first order.

  165. 165
    Mark Oatibix says:

    Ooh look at me I’m sooo liberal. If any tramps, or even better, rent boys want to come and live in my house that’s fine by me, the wife and kids can just fuck off. Just come over, as many as you like, don’t worry about money I’m sure we can come to some arrangement.

  166. 166


    Perverting the course of justice carries a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.

    Not long (enough) now…

  167. 167
    Tomorrow's Chip Wrapper says:

    The “Counsel for the Prosecution” Mr Jay QC couldn’t quite make the charge stick even though he had approx 150 ring binder files weighing half a ton to consult and assist…at one stage poor Jezza who was seemingly deluged with paper was having trouble locating Folder 32 Containing Sheet 01768 sub page aa/0043#45…”Is it the one on the monitor ?” he asked helplessly !!!!

  168. 168
    The Old Pervert says:

    Victoria has my vote !!!

  169. 169
    Well it's a thought says:

    See that vile woman Harriet Hatewhitemen is doing the the rounds of the studios trying to stir something up against Hunt,nobody cares a toss de ar, we want honest politicians, mine a tea with milk no suger de–ar, thank you .

  170. 170

    Tits win out over intellect?

  171. 171
    anonymous says:

    i see that michael fallon is still not answering the media questions about jeremy c’unt’s appallingly misleading behaviour over the sky bid – he’s been doing this for some 12 hours now. cameron must be shit scared he’ll be undone by all of this. what a c’unt cameron is – in fact all tories are c’unts

  172. 172
    Tay Lender says:

    If you don’t behave Tristy boy, we’ll send the girls round who will turn you into a Manx. You have been warned….

  173. 173
    Yoo Rippa Dese? says:

    Athenian banking methodology?

  174. 174
    Trivial Harman says:

    Harriet Harpic screeching her trivia bile on every TV and radio station that has a time slot to fill. FFS get over it Harriet, Hunt did nowt wrong and there is a country to be run. Trivial persuit is a game.

  175. 175
    Anonymous says:

    Watson looks and writes like a defrocked lefty vicar, who went on to become a Scout master, and then had “legal difficulties” involving a woggle, a Scout, and a jar of Vaseline.

  176. 176
    UKIPMAN says:

    As long as people keep voting for the LibLabCon alliance.

  177. 177
    Twat watch says:

    Huhne by name, Hoon by nature.

  178. 178
    Rebekah and Charlies says:

    Oh My God

  179. 179
    Mick Philpott is innocent you horrible baby eating Tories! says:

    What a charming man. Actually, what a tragic waste of skin and oxygen.

  180. 180
    smoggie says:

    Apprentice? The intern is going to learn blogging not TIG welding.

    Prefer the yank term.

  181. 181
    smoggie says:

    anonymous has an inferiority complex I see.

  182. 182
    Fabians are Evil says:

    Whilst all this froth and nonsense is being debated to death has no one noticed the economic tsunami hurtling over europe?

    Methinks its time to get the hell out of Europe, sell off the euros and lock up what is left of our gold reserves.

    Oh and you can leave Baroness Ashton behind – they are welcome to her!

  183. 183
    lojolondon says:

    We know she spat, or at least dribbled.

  184. 184

    Your life appears to revolve around, or even inside, your arsehole. You cannot make a single comment without mentioning it. Bit retentive, aren’t we?

  185. 185

    Do mind that building that is just about to fall on top of you…

    Ooops! Too late.

  186. 186
    just saying says:

    Gavin “off pay roll tax avoider” Esler let Harman ramble on relentlessly on Newsnight last night and then continually interrupted a rather good Home Office minister, who’s name escapes me, who was making excellent points regarding Hunt.

  187. 187

    Any way I can help?

  188. 188
    Peter Grimes says:

    If the intern managed to neck more of the 3 bottles than Guido/Neo-Guido (unlikely I know!), then it is highly likely to be more comprehensible than a ‘normal’ edition!

  189. 189
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    yes bloody right, not so much a bang as a whimper.

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Alan Milburn says Labour’s scaremongering campaign for an unreformed NHS will not win election…

“It would be a fatal mistake, in my view, for Labour to go into this election looking as though it is the party that would better resource the National Health Service but not necessarily put its foot to the floor when it comes to reforming. Look, reforms are not easy, but the Labour Party is not a conservative party. It should be about moving things forward not preserving them in aspic. You have got a pale imitation actually of the 1992 general election campaign, and maybe it will have the same outcome. I don’t know.”

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