Reliable Tory sources tell Guido that IDS SpAd Susie Squire is being lined up to replace Henry Macrory as the Head of Press at CCHQ. Guido spoke to Susie this morning who refused to comment on our well sourced speculation. The frontline job at DWP is one of the toughest spinning jobs in government, yet Squire, a veteran former spinner for the Taxpayers’ Alliance, has still managed to remain popular amongst hacks…
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
How ITV Crashed Out Online Last Night | MediaGuido
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Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
CCHQ is a waste of space. Will Squires be ‘man’ enough?
I’m back! Chilled and relaxed! Crisis? What crisis?
Get back to work! Damn you! DAMN YOU! Work harder! WORK HARDE.. oh, you’re a civil servant. Why didn’t you say? Okey-dokey, take 7 weeks off.
That Thick C-nt Theresa May, has just mentioned the PEACE TIME Deficit that we are in on Radio 5. Are these Fu-kers so stupid as to Not know that we have been at WAR for over a decade.
UK Politburo announces:
Inflation DOWN! Public finances RECORD SURPLUS! UK 2012 is Workers Paradise!
We won’t tell you about the fiddled price index rising 0.6% in one month – equivalent to 7+% per annum, or the fiddling trick of putting £28bn of postmen’s pensions on the books to cover over record borrowing of £12bn in April!
I find this exercise a fascinating experiment, along the lines of the period of over a year when Belgium trundled along, neither more nor less happily than before, without being able to form any government.
Whether any changes will result from the inevitable ‘post-match analysis’ would depend on the terms set for the assessment and the bravery of the personnel assigned to carry it out.
‘Absence of government’ is already a term of art used to describe lawless areas of the developing world; a new coinage of ‘Excess of government’ might be held to apply to us.
Isn’t it time for your daily U-turn Dave after Nanny Nick has wiped your arse,changed your nappies and tied your shoelaces.
Good morning perfidious Albion. C’est moi – the real President of the Republique – President Hollandaise – not the cheap imitation ones now copying my Statesman like words of ze wisdoom.
My central policy is to tax ze reeech by 150% so that they will flee from my fiscal guillotine – wiz their dreadful money, diamonds and wealth – to Londres, the second city of la belle France. Pah!
Who cares! My plan is to reawake the Auld Alliance with the haggis farmers of Scotland. I will work closely with fellow Jacobin – Alex Salmond and encourage full independence from the cruel Anglo Saxons. We have not forgotten Joanne D’Arc, you pigs!
The Scots will require passport controls but only for ze English! Full membership of the EU is a great ambition and after all – Salmond goes very well with ze hollandaise. No?
How is that wonderful man – Jonah LeBruin? He is my inspiration. A world class statesman, saviour of the world and, why yes….another Scottish Jacobin!
This great classic butter sauce from France can be tricky if it gets too much heat, so great care is in order here. However, since the advent of blenders and processors, the risk is not as large as it used to be with hand whisking over hot water. It has to be said that a blender is best, but a processor works well, too. My own problem has always been how to keep it warm, as I always like to make it in advance, and overheating will make it curdle
She’ll have her work cut out on the day it’s revealed that No 10 have doctored the Beecroft report that warned that the Coalition’s “family friendly” policies would hamper economic growth.
Dave? What’s he any good for? Absolutely nothing!
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9281161/Controversial-Beecroft-report-on-employment-reform-doctored-by-No-10.html
Man? She looks like a woman to me not bad looking as well
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Behold, the fruits of my work to enrich and modernise Britain:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2147730/Father-56-critical-condition-stabbed-trying-shield-dying-son-frenzied-attack-hoodie-gang-outside-pub.html
Let’s hope this isn’t the story of the day
ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Indeed.
This blog has gone to shit since Greedo threw in his lot with the Star.
I’m deleting it from my bookmarks. It’s not worth a wank.
Can’t imagine why.
Oh, yes, that’s it: similar to the A Level Results photo phenomena, right?
To be fair I dont think she is due to sit her A levels till later this year.
Have Susie Squire and Andy Burnham ever been in the same room together?
Now you come to mention it……
…Susie is the Shadow Health secretary
Parents ‘murdered Westernised teenage daughter in front of her sister because they thought she was bringing shame on family’
But murder doesn’t, apparently.
Megrahi defo did the PanAm bombing. All that crap about debunked timer circuit board and FBI paid-off witnesses for the prosecution and Mos sad is total bollox! So STFU! conspiracy nut jobs!
As he and Gadaffi are now dead, we’ll never know. Convenient what?
Remind me. Which nation’s navy shot down a fully loaded commercial airliner as it was climbing out of take-off (in a middle eastern country)? Just asking.
USS Liberty. King David Hotel. The Lavon Affair. Oklahoma City bombing. …
That looks like an odd joke to me.
Virtually no evidence against megrahi other than that Gadaffi was prepared to hand him over. And that is even less sound than Gadaffi’s mind.
Yeah, right! Like Gadaffi was a straight kind of guy like me!
I would suggest you read the copious and detailed examination of the evidence in that “conspiracy rag” Private Eye. The conflicts, opportunity and scope of the evidence against him do not add up. When something doesn’t add up when it comes to espionage, which Magrahi was involved with, then there is almost always misdirection away from the truth.
No foil hats on this one, I’m afraid.
Putting on my “international terrorist mastermind” hat. I’m wondering why you’d send the Kingpin of the whole operation to buy clothes in Malta.
You’re all nicked! Anti-semitism in Nu Britain is a capital crime. Louise Mensch’s Cheka police are on the way!
Putting on my “former resident of Sliema” hat, I would say that Luqa was a perfectly normal destination for Libyans and that Malta was one of the few places that Libyans could freely visit.
On a bad false passport, when he went in and out of Malta many times in the past,either with no passport or under diplomatic “cover” (undetected)?
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a…….
This is weird: he walks like an intelligence officer, talks like an intelligence officer, and is supposed to use his own passport? Come off it. BTW, I hold no views on who actually did the terrible deed.
No, No, NO – he didn’t have to use any passport – and is known not to have done many times – so how come a bad paper trail?
If they find Western culture so shameful (and, presumably, disgusting), why on Earth did they move here? Why do they stay?
Well over half the news on the electric propaganda media box last night was given over to matters concerning people from a moo slim persuasion.
It’s not ‘news’ to me that they are totally fuvked-up and dislike us and the way we do things.
I remember a time when they and their awful beliefs and actions were never mentioned at all, now not a day passes without we hear from them and about them.
Send ‘em all back! Specially the ‘dual citizens’ ‘friends of a certain FOREIGN country. The ones with ‘the right to return’. So what’s stopping ya?
Benefits?
I dont think it’s “shame” that they kill their dauughters for – more likely its because theyre annoyed that they cant “sell” them for an arranged marriage to their mate in Western Outer Bumfuck. Arranged marriage should be seen for what it is – an immigration scam.
“”The frontline at DWP is one of the tougher spinning job in government”"
you can say that again – lies lies and fucking lies
No change there then for the last 15 years.
Comment of the day?
The Department for Work and Pensions.
We work. They get the pension.
All public sector pensions, except for the armed forces, should be defined contribution instead of defined benefit. Discuss.
Well we’ll start with the MPs shall we?
Are bosses going to be able to shoot their employees under new legislation? as well as remove all their rights under UK and EU law – maybe they shouldn’t even pay them either. Maybe bosses should be paid by employees for having a job – not that there’s any around in this sick fucking joke of a country
Climbdown on red tape relief for small firms: Plan to make sackings easier faces axe.
You really must keep up.
U turns?
More like handbrake turns.
So who’s running this government ? cameron or vincecable. methinks cameron needs to decide!!
I rekon its Cameron. But he’s confused.
He comes up with a radical proposal, but when its commented on, he realises its more radical than he wanted.
To be fair to the poor lamb, he’s not ever had a proper job so didn’t realise that allowing meglomaniancs to threaten people with the sack for no reason is not actually considered a smart idea by most people in the real world.
In other words, Cameron is an idiot. I think we all got that some time ago.
As the old saying goes; A chain is as strong as its weakest link. And Cable is the weakest (along with Huhne and quite a few other Liberals).
Unfortunately, they are poisoning the well – we had a whole 20 mins of energy policy discussion on Toady this morning without once mentioning shale gas; seems they are going to cut up next about our nuclear deterent.
And when they have finished with the Tories, they will look for their next opportunity for ‘power’ by cosying up to Miliband.
A party with 7% support, seeking perpetual government. That’s democracy for you.
Cable or Chain….one is straight the other confused.
It worked for the FDP in Germany for donkeys years. As I recall the one FDP minister held the Finance brief in perpetuity (almost).
Over shale gas, he should tell the Lib Dumbs to frack off.
Is this best Guido can give us these days, the pointless shuffling of SpAds?
Dave has got to be seen to doing something even if it means rearranging the deck deckchairs on the MV UK, a bit pointless but looks good
It’s prologue, plot development. Things will get interesting in a month or so, when everything starts to go horribly , horribly wrong – as if spinning for a Party led by the detached Europhile tax-n-spend plonker could ever go otherwise.
Yes. Do keep up
Bored now by!
in what way is Adrain Beecroft ‘independent’?
he’s a fucking banker
just more shit to disguise the real root of our problems
Who’d like to be my spad?
Spoiled Pants And Diapers
Yawn
Breaking News: Alf Smith is appointed as William Hague’s sandwich supplier.
or ‘Cameron flies home after shopping trip in Chigago’
So the tories are reduced to shuffling around spads whilst the libdems make policies.
Guido, do any of your mates at the Star have any pics of this delicious babes with her hugs out ?
just thought I’d ask.
Hire and sire…
Now that I know Dave does Karaoke, I can’t take him seriously anymore.
Now that I’ve always known Dave’s a fag, can I be taken seriously anymore?
Is his favourite movie Mama Mia?
It could be worse. There is always Morris Dancing.
And here is some hey nonny no cretoid dancing round a maypole of the bailey
http://keeptonyblairforpm.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/tblair_cherie_dancing_1996.jpg
An old shot. Even Tony looks young and some one you could rely on. How wrong we were.
Agreed, but it seems even PhotoShop cannot do justice to his wife
He IS karaoke. All fake.
I s it true that bosses can now arrange to have up to 10 employees living in their shed so that they can be ready for work by 5.0am , finish at 9.0pm and go immediately back to ed in the shed before getting up for work again – a 6 day week is mandatory and of course on the 7th day they all have to go to church and pray for forgiveness
Been like that in Tower Hamlets for years, why do you think the Kebabs are so cheap?
FYI the 7th day is a Friday
The more you watch the more you see that this government has made the problem of the banks the problem of the public sector – therby deflecting all responsibility from the elites, the banks and the government for the fucking mess we are in – Cameron should be on 2It’ll be Alright on the Night” – he’s a clown and a liar and a very poor fascist
No – I think it’s passed your bed time Zeppy old chap. It all went tits up under LieBore, with the stock market hitting rock bottom in 2009 – The coalition didn’t get to play with the train set until 2010 – 3 years after Gordon McTwtat “saved the world” from financiial ruin.
The best the Government can do is reduce expenditure and try and pay off some debt, neither of which they are doing terribly well. But do bear in mind the helpful note left by Liam Byrne about there being no money left.
To be fair though – they were all GREAT socialists. Sadly.
We are pleased to announce Angry Birds PM edition
We have replaced all the big birds with Eric Pickles characters, and all the pigs are now councils.
However we have some debugging to do, as when you put an Eric into the slingshot nothing happens.
Eric’s being firing blanks for years.
Class is the problem and from now on we will rid ourselves of the complex class structure that has blighted this country for many years.
From now on we will just have two classes, them and us.
pip pip
Who really cares?
“Everyone deserves a second chance”…..even Susie Squire !!
No you don’t.
Just as long as she doesn’t say anything like ‘ We have to grow the brand ‘.
Or ‘ Consider the optics’
As long as she doesn’t say anything at all.
Yesterday they were “senior”. Today they are “reliable”
These sources spilling the beans to Fawkes must be somewhat pliable
Or is it now all they do is talk
‘Cos Tories no longer walk the walk?
If only the blogosphere and the press would stop citing ‘senior’ ‘reliable’ and ‘other’ sources and actually name the fuckers things would quickly become more transparent. If they don’t have the bottle to be named then STFU.
The political elite are so full of spin they make me sick
Guido should stop playing footsy with his lords and masters and just tell us who is using him to lie to us.
Come on Guido you can do better than this…Leveson, Banking Crisis, Greece, Spain, hilarious Tories.
COME ON WAKE UP!
Oy vey! Will no one think of the bankers!?
Today has been cancelled due to widespread apathy….over to you Mr Hague.
Ey up lad. You all need to work harder rather than spending all day on t’internet.
Ill be grafting right hard right up til I go on my seven week sabatical
Right gotta go must finish watching Kes on my new iPad
I would havve had my cock in my hand as she spoke down the telephone before I enjoyed reaching a shattering climax as she used words like “inclusion” and “diversity”
The dirtyy looking minx
Always beware of the quite man, Id wager that IDS has spunked on her tits
Did you ever debate in the Oxford Union?
Must have been a master-bate.
I got a blue at Oxford.
I would also have got the pink but I was snookered behind the black
Racist !
The old acronyms just don’t work we clearly need a new acronym
So to jump-start the economy CRIMBO is coming early this year
I know this would outrage the lefties but given the high risk of terror attacks during the Olympics, we should set up internment camps to detain all muslims and muslim converts during the games.
Is this the Huffington Post?
Who is Huffington?, will he blow my house down.
The HuffPo’s new Political Director just might but the direction would be up
Ah, the directional difference between hot air and semtex.
Could someone convince the head of America’s drone division that Mehdi Hasan is the new head of al-Qaeda in London? And perhaps a small google street view reference for his house.
He should have nothing to worry about, as cattle and other animals can’t fly attack drones, let alone program missiles.
You haven’t seen me…… roight!
Since becoming pm I’ve given the imf billions, let mass immigration continue, restricted the terms of Leveson so that Blair and Brown aren’t called, given billions to India and Pakistan, added another billion to the Olympics budget, had my own heroic war adventure in Libya, done about 20 u-turns, failed to sack Vince Cable despite him publicly ridiculing the government, and failed to sack Theresa May despite her fucking up on an almost daily basis. Aren’t I a great pm?
I demand something to get my teeth into rather than this dribble.
Is lunch early today?
Do you reckon Twatson thought he looked tough in that photo?
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/press/journalists-who-stalked-hacking-mp-still-employed-by-murdoch-7771337.html
My name, is Michael Sugar Cane, and I only told you to widen the bloody doors!
Someone from the entirely independent and non-partisan taxdodgers’ alliance getting a job at the Death Star? Surely not?