May 22nd, 2012

Hire and Squire?

Reliable Tory sources tell Guido that IDS SpAd Susie Squire is being lined up to replace Henry Macrory as the Head of Press at CCHQ. Guido spoke to Susie this morning who refused to comment on our well sourced speculation.  The frontline job at DWP is one of the toughest spinning jobs in government, yet Squire, a veteran former spinner for the Taxpayers’ Alliance,  has still managed to remain popular amongst hacks…


  1. 1
    Barry says:

    CCHQ is a waste of space. Will Squires be ‘man’ enough?


    • 6
      Dave says:

      I’m back! Chilled and relaxed! Crisis? What crisis?


      • 10
        William Hague says:

        Get back to work! Damn you! DAMN YOU! Work harder! WORK HARDE.. oh, you’re a civil servant. Why didn’t you say? Okey-dokey, take 7 weeks off.


        • 43
          Rage Against the Politcal Elite says:

          That Thick C-nt Theresa May, has just mentioned the PEACE TIME Deficit that we are in on Radio 5. Are these Fu-kers so stupid as to Not know that we have been at WAR for over a decade.


        • 75
          UK 2012, like DDR 1972 - without the good bits says:

          UK Politburo announces:

          Inflation DOWN! Public finances RECORD SURPLUS! UK 2012 is Workers Paradise!

          We won’t tell you about the fiddled price index rising 0.6% in one month – equivalent to 7+% per annum, or the fiddling trick of putting £28bn of postmen’s pensions on the books to cover over record borrowing of £12bn in April!


        • 102
          Haribo Halfwit says:

          I find this exercise a fascinating experiment, along the lines of the period of over a year when Belgium trundled along, neither more nor less happily than before, without being able to form any government.

          Whether any changes will result from the inevitable ‘post-match analysis’ would depend on the terms set for the assessment and the bravery of the personnel assigned to carry it out.

          ‘Absence of government’ is already a term of art used to describe lawless areas of the developing world; a new coinage of ‘Excess of government’ might be held to apply to us.


      • 23
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        Isn’t it time for your daily U-turn Dave after Nanny Nick has wiped your arse,changed your nappies and tied your shoelaces.


        • 57
          President Hollandaise says:

          Good morning perfidious Albion. C’est moi – the real President of the Republique – President Hollandaise – not the cheap imitation ones now copying my Statesman like words of ze wisdoom.

          My central policy is to tax ze reeech by 150% so that they will flee from my fiscal guillotine – wiz their dreadful money, diamonds and wealth – to Londres, the second city of la belle France. Pah!

          Who cares! My plan is to reawake the Auld Alliance with the haggis farmers of Scotland. I will work closely with fellow Jacobin – Alex Salmond and encourage full independence from the cruel Anglo Saxons. We have not forgotten Joanne D’Arc, you pigs!

          The Scots will require passport controls but only for ze English! Full membership of the EU is a great ambition and after all – Salmond goes very well with ze hollandaise. No?

          How is that wonderful man – Jonah LeBruin? He is my inspiration. A world class statesman, saviour of the world and, why yes….another Scottish Jacobin!


          • Delia says:

            This great classic butter sauce from France can be tricky if it gets too much heat, so great care is in order here. However, since the advent of blenders and processors, the risk is not as large as it used to be with hand whisking over hot water. It has to be said that a blender is best, but a processor works well, too. My own problem has always been how to keep it warm, as I always like to make it in advance, and overheating will make it curdle


          • Ze Crescent de Mornington says:


      • 85
        Anonymous says:

        She’ll have her work cut out on the day it’s revealed that No 10 have doctored the Beecroft report that warned that the Coalition’s “family friendly” policies would hamper economic growth.

        Dave? What’s he any good for? Absolutely nothing!


    • 15
      Forkbender says:

      Man? She looks like a woman to me not bad looking as well


    • 31
      Meanwhile back in the real world outside the Westminster Brat Pack says:



  2. 2
    Ah! Monika says:

    Let’s hope this isn’t the story of the day


    • 22
      Dobbie says:



    • 108
      Dissapointed says:


      This blog has gone to shit since Greedo threw in his lot with the Star.

      I’m deleting it from my bookmarks. It’s not worth a wank.


  3. 3
    shooty* says:

    Can’t imagine why.

    Oh, yes, that’s it: similar to the A Level Results photo phenomena, right?


  4. 4
    Steve Miliband says:

    Have Susie Squire and Andy Burnham ever been in the same room together?


  5. 5
    Muzzies R Us says:

    Parents ‘murdered Westernised teenage daughter in front of her sister because they thought she was bringing shame on family’

    But murder doesn’t, apparently.


    • 9
      Hasbaras R Here says:

      Megrahi defo did the PanAm bombing. All that crap about debunked timer circuit board and FBI paid-off witnesses for the prosecution and Mos sad is total bollox! So STFU! conspiracy nut jobs!


      • 18
        National Socialist says:

        As he and Gadaffi are now dead, we’ll never know. Convenient what?


      • 24
        Mine d'Boggles says:

        Remind me. Which nation’s navy shot down a fully loaded commercial airliner as it was climbing out of take-off (in a middle eastern country)? Just asking.


        • 32
          Izzys R R Friends says:

          USS Liberty. King David Hotel. The Lavon Affair. Oklahoma City bombing. …


      • 39
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        That looks like an odd joke to me.

        Virtually no evidence against megrahi other than that Gadaffi was prepared to hand him over. And that is even less sound than Gadaffi’s mind.


        • 45
          Tony Blair in a tent in the desert working for JP Morgan says:

          Yeah, right! Like Gadaffi was a straight kind of guy like me!


      • 78

        I would suggest you read the copious and detailed examination of the evidence in that “conspiracy rag” Private Eye. The conflicts, opportunity and scope of the evidence against him do not add up. When something doesn’t add up when it comes to espionage, which Magrahi was involved with, then there is almost always misdirection away from the truth.

        No foil hats on this one, I’m afraid.


        • 88
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          Putting on my “international terrorist mastermind” hat. I’m wondering why you’d send the Kingpin of the whole operation to buy clothes in Malta.


          • AC1 says:

            You’re all nicked! Anti-semitism in Nu Britain is a capital crime. Louise Mensch’s Cheka police are on the way!


          • Mine d'Boggles says:

            Putting on my “former resident of Sliema” hat, I would say that Luqa was a perfectly normal destination for Libyans and that Malta was one of the few places that Libyans could freely visit.


          • On a bad false passport, when he went in and out of Malta many times in the past,either with no passport or under diplomatic “cover” (undetected)?

            If it walks like a duck, quacks like a…….


          • Mine d'Boggles says:

            This is weird: he walks like an intelligence officer, talks like an intelligence officer, and is supposed to use his own passport? Come off it. BTW, I hold no views on who actually did the terrible deed.


          • No, No, NO – he didn’t have to use any passport – and is known not to have done many times – so how come a bad paper trail?


    • 14
      Liebour's multiculti Britain says:

      If they find Western culture so shameful (and, presumably, disgusting), why on Earth did they move here? Why do they stay?


      • 30
        Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        Well over half the news on the electric propaganda media box last night was given over to matters concerning people from a moo slim persuasion.

        It’s not ‘news’ to me that they are totally fuvked-up and dislike us and the way we do things.

        I remember a time when they and their awful beliefs and actions were never mentioned at all, now not a day passes without we hear from them and about them.


        • 41
          Indigenous Anglo says:

          Send ‘em all back! Specially the ‘dual citizens’ ‘friends of a certain FOREIGN country. The ones with ‘the right to return’. So what’s stopping ya?


      • 91
        National Socialist says:



        • 109
          Goodfella says:

          I dont think it’s “shame” that they kill their dauughters for – more likely its because theyre annoyed that they cant “sell” them for an arranged marriage to their mate in Western Outer Bumfuck. Arranged marriage should be seen for what it is – an immigration scam.


  6. 7
    Cameron is a Cunt says:

    “”The frontline at DWP is one of the tougher spinning job in government””

    you can say that again – lies lies and fucking lies


  7. 11
    No Name No Pat Drill says:

    Are bosses going to be able to shoot their employees under new legislation? as well as remove all their rights under UK and EU law – maybe they shouldn’t even pay them either. Maybe bosses should be paid by employees for having a job – not that there’s any around in this sick fucking joke of a country


    • 20
      Ah! Monika (Mail) says:

      Climbdown on red tape relief for small firms: Plan to make sackings easier faces axe.

      You really must keep up.


      • 27
        Ah! Monika says:

        U turns?

        More like handbrake turns.


      • 32
        nellnewman says:

        So who’s running this government ? cameron or vincecable. methinks cameron needs to decide!!


        • 48
          sockpuppet #4 says:

          I rekon its Cameron. But he’s confused.

          He comes up with a radical proposal, but when its commented on, he realises its more radical than he wanted.


          • Its a 'work' thing says:

            To be fair to the poor lamb, he’s not ever had a proper job so didn’t realise that allowing meglomaniancs to threaten people with the sack for no reason is not actually considered a smart idea by most people in the real world.


          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            In other words, Cameron is an idiot. I think we all got that some time ago.


        • 68
          Fish says:

          As the old saying goes; A chain is as strong as its weakest link. And Cable is the weakest (along with Huhne and quite a few other Liberals).

          Unfortunately, they are poisoning the well – we had a whole 20 mins of energy policy discussion on Toady this morning without once mentioning shale gas; seems they are going to cut up next about our nuclear deterent.

          And when they have finished with the Tories, they will look for their next opportunity for ‘power’ by cosying up to Miliband.

          A party with 7% support, seeking perpetual government. That’s democracy for you.


  8. 13
    Very Poor Reeves says:

    Is this best Guido can give us these days, the pointless shuffling of SpAds?


    • 21
      Forkbender says:

      Dave has got to be seen to doing something even if it means rearranging the deck deckchairs on the MV UK, a bit pointless but looks good


    • 26
      All civil servants are parasites says:

      It’s prologue, plot development. Things will get interesting in a month or so, when everything starts to go horribly , horribly wrong – as if spinning for a Party led by the detached Europhile tax-n-spend plonker could ever go otherwise.


    • 60
      Eric Pickles is useless says:

      Yes. Do keep up


  9. 16
    Cameron is a Cunt says:

    in what way is Adrain Beecroft ‘independent’?

    he’s a fucking banker

    just more shit to disguise the real root of our problems


  10. 19
    Gordon Brown says:

    Who’d like to be my spad?


  11. 29
    Boring says:



  12. 34
    Guy News says:

    Breaking News: Alf Smith is appointed as William Hague’s sandwich supplier.


  13. 36
    nellnewman says:

    So the tories are reduced to shuffling around spads whilst the libdems make policies.


  14. 37
    Hang The Bastards says:

    Guido, do any of your mates at the Star have any pics of this delicious babes with her hugs out ?

    just thought I’d ask.


  15. 40
    Chin Wag says:

    Now that I know Dave does Karaoke, I can’t take him seriously anymore.


  16. 42
    Waltzing Matilda says:

    I s it true that bosses can now arrange to have up to 10 employees living in their shed so that they can be ready for work by 5.0am , finish at 9.0pm and go immediately back to ed in the shed before getting up for work again – a 6 day week is mandatory and of course on the 7th day they all have to go to church and pray for forgiveness


    • 51
      Nom Dom Nom says:

      Been like that in Tower Hamlets for years, why do you think the Kebabs are so cheap?

      FYI the 7th day is a Friday


  17. 45
    Lead Zeppellin says:

    The more you watch the more you see that this government has made the problem of the banks the problem of the public sector – therby deflecting all responsibility from the elites, the banks and the government for the fucking mess we are in – Cameron should be on 2It’ll be Alright on the Night” – he’s a clown and a liar and a very poor fascist


    • 106

      No – I think it’s passed your bed time Zeppy old chap. It all went tits up under LieBore, with the stock market hitting rock bottom in 2009 – The coalition didn’t get to play with the train set until 2010 – 3 years after Gordon McTwtat “saved the world” from financiial ruin.

      The best the Government can do is reduce expenditure and try and pay off some debt, neither of which they are doing terribly well. But do bear in mind the helpful note left by Liam Byrne about there being no money left.

      To be fair though – they were all GREAT socialists. Sadly.


  18. 49
    Rovio says:

    We are pleased to announce Angry Birds PM edition

    We have replaced all the big birds with Eric Pickles characters, and all the pigs are now councils.

    However we have some debugging to do, as when you put an Eric into the slingshot nothing happens.


  19. 50
    Call me Dave says:

    Class is the problem and from now on we will rid ourselves of the complex class structure that has blighted this country for many years.

    From now on we will just have two classes, them and us.

    pip pip


  20. 53
    zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz says:

    Who really cares?


  21. 54
    Andy Coulson says:

    “Everyone deserves a second chance”…..even Susie Squire !!


  22. 55
    Gonk says:

    Just as long as she doesn’t say anything like ‘ We have to grow the brand ‘.
    Or ‘ Consider the optics’


  23. 56
    albacore says:

    Yesterday they were “senior”. Today they are “reliable”
    These sources spilling the beans to Fawkes must be somewhat pliable
    Or is it now all they do is talk
    ‘Cos Tories no longer walk the walk?


    • 63
      Nom Dom Nom says:

      If only the blogosphere and the press would stop citing ‘senior’ ‘reliable’ and ‘other’ sources and actually name the fuckers things would quickly become more transparent. If they don’t have the bottle to be named then STFU.

      The political elite are so full of spin they make me sick


    • 69
      The public says:

      Guido should stop playing footsy with his lords and masters and just tell us who is using him to lie to us.


  24. 58
    Dobbie says:

    Come on Guido you can do better than this…Leveson, Banking Crisis, Greece, Spain, hilarious Tories.


    • 67
      AC1 says:

      Oy vey! Will no one think of the bankers!?


    • 70
      Loungelizard says:

      Today has been cancelled due to widespread apathy….over to you Mr Hague.


      • 96
        William Vague says:

        Ey up lad. You all need to work harder rather than spending all day on t’internet.

        Ill be grafting right hard right up til I go on my seven week sabatical

        Right gotta go must finish watching Kes on my new iPad


  25. 62
    Beastly sino doctor says:

    I would havve had my cock in my hand as she spoke down the telephone before I enjoyed reaching a shattering climax as she used words like “inclusion” and “diversity”
    The dirtyy looking minx
    Always beware of the quite man, Id wager that IDS has spunked on her tits


  26. 74
    Theresa May says:

    The old acronyms just don’t work we clearly need a new acronym

    So to jump-start the economy CRIMBO is coming early this year


  27. 80
    Avoid the risk says:

    I know this would outrage the lefties but given the high risk of terror attacks during the Olympics, we should set up internment camps to detain all muslims and muslim converts during the games.


  28. 81
    The Public says:

    Is this the Huffington Post?


    • 87
      annette curton says:

      Who is Huffington?, will he blow my house down.


      • 89
        Peppers Ghost says:

        The HuffPo’s new Political Director just might but the direction would be up


        • 93
          annette curton says:

          Ah, the directional difference between hot air and semtex.


          • Could someone convince the head of America’s drone division that Mehdi Hasan is the new head of al-Qaeda in London? And perhaps a small google street view reference for his house.

            He should have nothing to worry about, as cattle and other animals can’t fly attack drones, let alone program missiles.

            You haven’t seen me…… roight!


  29. 90
    David Cameron says:

    Since becoming pm I’ve given the imf billions, let mass immigration continue, restricted the terms of Leveson so that Blair and Brown aren’t called, given billions to India and Pakistan, added another billion to the Olympics budget, had my own heroic war adventure in Libya, done about 20 u-turns, failed to sack Vince Cable despite him publicly ridiculing the government, and failed to sack Theresa May despite her fucking up on an almost daily basis. Aren’t I a great pm?


  30. 101
    This blogs unique visitor says:

    I demand something to get my teeth into rather than this dribble.

    Is lunch early today?


  31. 107
  32. 115
    Jimmy says:

    Someone from the entirely independent and non-partisan taxdodgers’ alliance getting a job at the Death Star? Surely not?


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