May 21st, 2012

Guto Spins Himself

Senior Tory sources seem very keen to disabuse any and all as to the demand for Guto Harri’s services. A “person in a position to know” called Guido to emphasise, vehemently, that Guto was never in the running for Downing Street, was never offered a job by Downing Street and was never the first choice ahead of Andy Coulson for the Downing Street job. Despite what you may have read elsewhere. Glad we have cleared that up.

Guto did however manage to convince the Guardian and the Telegraph’s Mandrake otherwise. Nevertheless he managed to spin himself a promotion and pay hike of over £100,000 extra, he is on £250,000 plus benefits at News International, nigh on doubling his pay at City Hall. If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…

UPDATE: Guto has been in touch to insist that he never claimed to have been offered a Downing Street job and that it was merely speculation by journalists.


  1. 1
    Tom Tomos says:

    Da iawn iddo fe!

  2. 2
    Guy Martin to win TT2012 says:


  3. 3
    Abdul Basset al-Megrahi says:

    Deathbed confession.

    طوني الذي مني به

    • 15
      Gordon Brown says:

      It wasn’ae ma fult ye un’stn!

      • 60
        Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

        Sorry, Mr MacFuckwit, but we speak English here.

      • 95
        Jock courts of Semi-Delusion says:

        The Scottish Courts give no one any Hope – and Menzies aren’t you a member of the Scottish Legal McMafia and the LSOS and the Faculty of Advocats – who practice to bury matters because of ‘Risk’ …

        A Scotsmans or even a Belgians Castle in Scotland is his own.

        Lord Eassie did the right thing.

        • 97
          Lord Hamilton says:

          My Private office denies receipt of any correspondence with anything to do with Castles.

          You can Knock that one over to Derry in N Ire.

  4. 4
    Meddling Hassan says:

    I’m available!!!

    • 33
      john in cheshire says:

      Where’s that fountain of truth, Johan Hari, these days? I’m not missing him, mind, just wondering if he’s still breathing.

      • 43
        Johan Hari says:

        I was in DC this morning. The air was crisp, cool. I’d finished smoking a Gitane, nonchalantly tossing the stub aside. A Secret Service agent cleared it away, smiling, saluting me.

        I went into the White House. Oval Office. Of course. Kennedy looked at me. I could tell he was reassured by my presence. It had been tough on him, these few weeks. I’d been away and Apollo 1 had been a disaster, Apollo 13 almost as bad.

        “What should I say to my public?”, he pleaded.

        I looked at him. “Tell them,” I said, “ask not what your country can do for you, but what can you do for your country.” He rose from his desk, his eyes bright with wonder and gratitude

        (etc etc, continues for 900 words).

        • 81
          AC1 says:

          I think you taught Penny Red everything.

        • 98
          Backreading says:

          Weren’t you the pillock who castigated all the Anti-climate change people as being “DENIERS, DENIERS …”

          One will re-read your drivel – from the Indy …

          Are you best bosum friends with David (fat boy) Arronowitch – by the way?

        • 106
          David Rose says:

          Johann, you’re brilliant!

  5. 5
    Percy The Perceptivator says:

    I am not sure it is Murdoch’s perception which needs improving, but other peoples’ perception of him.

    • 8
      Safer Being A Media Despot As An American says:

      In his favourite country, for corruption on this scale it would have been a bullet in the back of the head and Wendi picking up the tab.

      • 12
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Oddly, the ranting hatred and obsessive lefty, foam flecked ravings regarding Murdoch, only started when he ditched Gordon Brown. Up until that moment he was old Rup and not a word of critisism was heard from the said loony lefties.

        • 26
          nellnewman says:

          Well until then dear old rupe was invited to labour’s champagne parties & pyjama parties and saint tone appe@ared at murdoch’s childrens baptisms on the banks of the river jordon all dressed in white at which he was made their godfather . Very appropriate!

          But as mandy said to leveson today, bliar and brown never met murdoch, never knew murdoch, never did deals with murdoch.

          And the gullible beeb sucked up every word and spat it back out as absolute gospel!

          • BBC Editorial Team says:

            Mandy at Leveson?

            I think that you are wrong Nell. The only story today is Hunt’s failure to declare his meetings and ‘gifts’ from media organisations. Dr Cable might get a mention too.

            And if Mandy was at Leveson , so what? Mandy has assured us that there is nothing to report, nothing of interest for us to pop into any of our bulletins. Everything is above board.

            Now run along and pay your Tele Tax.

        • 55
          Dobbie says:

          They were long overdue though.

    • 36
      Forkbender says:

      “If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…” Guto will certainly have his work cut out, unless of course all the fuss dies down due to lack of interest.

      • 56
        Dobbie says:

        Some hope of that! Crown Court trials etc in the offing. I am learning how to knit pending guilotine like sentences being passed.

    • 110
      Tabloids lie says:

      I don’t think people’s perception of Murdoch is too high, It needs to be significantly lower.

  6. 6
    In de pendant says:

    Johan’s brother?

  7. 7
    Debbie McGee says:

    “If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…”

    He will need Paul Daniels for that!

    • 57
      Dobbie says:

      Maybe a magician even a bit better!

    • 99
      The Mentalist says:

      You’ll need a hypnotist like Paul Goldin more like or even Paul McKenna ….

      But what is hyponitism – duplicity?

    • 100
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      To decide to work for Rupert Murdoch in the first place, he must be hitting the Jack Daniel’s.

      • 129
        Just a thought says:

        Perhaps its not as it all seems – maybe Murdoch’s Henchmen / Lieutenants actually ‘have something on’ the Guttor Pressman …

        The trick is to make it look like he’s going there of his own free (albeit greedy) will.

        What could Guttor have been up to in the past – such that he is now a compliant new boy spinning for the digger?

  8. 9
    Maxwell Mark 2 Non Socialist Version says:

    NEVER Underestimate me, as long as guys like tits, I’ll be selling papers.

  9. 10
    Shocked of Sheen says:

    Please, I’m confused: is Mandelson back? Is he keeping Milliband quiet? Is Cable trying to set up a Lib Lab coalition? Is it getting warmer? Where is Galloway? Will it all be ok?

    • 18
      Tachybaptus says:

      1.He was never far away.
      2. Miliband only speaks when your wind him up.
      3. He is trying such things, I know not what, but they shall be the terror of the world.
      4. Yes. It’s called summer.
      5. Southwest corner of Scotland.
      6. No.

      • 19
        Tachybaptus says:

        1.He was never far away.
        2. Miliband only sреаks when your wind him up.
        3. He is trying such things, I know not what, but they shall be the terror of the world.
        4. Yes. It’s called summer.
        5. Southwest corner of Scotland.
        6. No.

    • 24
      One per cent and proud says:

      “No-fault sackings”
      Well done, Cameron, for accepting this recommendation from Beechcroft. Anyone who can persuade his customers to pay 4,214% interest obviously has to be listened to. Even more so if he has the good sense to give the odd half-million to your party.
      I personally would double my workforce tomorrow if I knew I could sack them on the spot without giving a reason.

      • 38
        Forkbender says:

        They could always take their Wonga elsewhere, I wouldn’t touch it with 10 metre disinfected pole

    • 25
      Disliker of Bankers says:

      No it won’t be all OK. Ever.

    • 28
      nellnewman says:

      galloway having won an election that gives him access to the parliamentary teet has retired to his villa in portugal much like gordon has retired to his dark kirkcaldy playroom where both will be paid ad nauseum by the taxpayer for doing nothing.

      mandy has been grandstanding for a few days at leveson, no doubt paid too much in expenses for his fantasising and cable is planning his next move which he believes will make him the next pm of the UK.

      What scary idiots politics attracts.

      • 31
        WVM says:

        Yes but I think paying Gordon to do nothing is a small price to pay.

      • 40
        Shocked of Sheen says:

        Thanks chaps, but it’s all a bit troublesome, any chance of some honest endeavour from those who seek to represent us? Or are we all off to Hell in a handcart?

      • 114
        Mme Tricoteuse says:

        Nell, how many more times? It is ad nauseAm.

  10. 11
    Someone on the sherry? says:

    The picture is England captian Andrew strauss. Didnt know you was a cricket fan Guido Fawkes ?

  11. 13
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    I say chaps! – I’m sure he’ll do an absolutely spiffing job! watt wattage are the windmills working at?? What?

  12. 14
    Superman says:

    One way or another he tells porkies.

  13. 16
    Superman says:

    Galloway is in Ireland with one of his wives and Sally Bercow the speakers wife. Still Galloway has a long way to go to catch up with Zuma.

    • 34
      Superman says:

      Reference a tweet from Bercow in Ireland last night so Galloway couldn’t have been in Portugal

  14. 17
    Anonymous says:

    You can polish a dog turd, but it’s still a dog turd…

  15. 20
    nellnewman says:

    “If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…”

    I suspect he has more chance of that than improving the perception of cameron now that he’s lost the plot – disappointed!!

    • 45
      Forkbender says:

      His team seem to have lost the plot, only 2 years and they are unravelling. It is starting to get farcical and turning voters off, firstly T. B’Liar, then Pa Broon now Cameron

  16. 22
    Tay King-dePisse says:

    Or, as Polly Toynbee would seem to be saying in her Tweet, paraphrasing Steve Carell: ”That’s what HE said!”

  17. 23
    Ah! Monika says:

    “We will not desert people of Afghanistan”, Prime Minister David Cameron says.

    Translate below.

    • 30
      annette curton says:

      Desert ? ( an arid area of land).
      Dessert? ( trifle) =
      The Dessert Fox.

    • 32
      annette curton says:

      Give em a referendum, FFS!.

    • 39
      Nom Dom Nom says:

      Collateral damage

    • 48
      Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

      “We will not desert people of Afghanistan” = “We will desert the people of Afghanistan, particularly women, who will be raped with impunity because the medieval Afghan government (which I support) has legalised rape. Also, most of the Tal*eban fighters are funded and equipped by Pak Is Tan, and I give hundreds of millions of pounds (of your money) to that country for no reason in particular, and I daren’t criticise them because I’m an abject coward.”

      • 68
        jack (ass) straw man says:

        I shook hands with mugabe

      • 70
        Davey Cameron's bumsex army says:

        Dave – as an alternative to chillaxing, why don’t you just fuck off and die?

        • 105
          Anonymous says:

          That isnt funny,you are the type who reduces blogs to insane rantings. Arent you allowed to speak at home ?

  18. 27
    Tony Giz-a-job B liar says:

    ” I’m on my way”
    ” If Putin can do it, who am I to stop myself? “

  19. 35
    Bonkers BBC says:

    Hahahahahahahaha…..the BBC is now officially a sick joke. Boo hoo, David Cameron apparently upset Merkel by being too triumphalist, and that anti English cuпt Barroso doesn’t look too happy either.

    • 41
      Nom Dom Nom says:

      Did he start singing ” 2 world wars and one world cup, dooh dah, dooh dah”

    • 116
      Mme Tricoteuse says:

      WTF was Barosso doing there anyway? Who knew that the EUSSR as a member of the G8 ?

      • 117
        Mme Tricoteuse says:

        PS: Why didn’t the photographer take a piccy of Merky jumping up and down nthe Krauts got their goal so close to full time? Would that have not gone with “the message”?

  20. 37
    Anonymous says:

    Guto was quoted as saying that not all NI’s employees hacked phones and behaved illegally.
    That’s true, just as not all SS men committed murder.


  21. 42
    Jean Monnet says:

    I started a joke that started the whole world crying.

  22. 44
    A bit of Farage & Coburn leg says:

  23. 46
    Mata Hari says:

    Talking of Harri, it seems the Graun could have a Johan of its own if anyone fancies doing some digging instead of window licking –

  24. 47
    albacore says:

    What’s a “senior Tory source” when it’s out?
    With Nick pulling Dave’s strings, they can’t have much clout
    Like the struldbrugs of fable, are they legally dead
    But every now and then dusted and watered and fed?

  25. 49
    Distraught master & commander says:

    You can judge a political party by their champagne.

    Pol Roger
    Considered a gentlemans drink first sale in 1849.
    Winston Churchill was a family friend who loved this champers.
    A drink of distinction also the only champagne bottle served on Concord(e).

    Labour (old & new):
    Louis Roederer Crystal
    The Co founded in 1778 but Cristal was created in 1876 for the exclusive use of the Russian Tzars.
    It is produced in limited quantities and only in exceptional years. At a Sotheby’s auction in New York in Dec 2005 a bottle of Cristal Brut 1990, Millenium 2000, Methuselah (6 Litres) sold for $17,625.

    • 59
      Tachybaptus says:

      Are you serious about Labour drinking Roederer Cristal? It’s renowned for being dгunk only by gangsters, drug barons and pimps. Oh, wait a mo …

      • 62
        Distraught master & commander says:

        also by bankers & traders in the city, before it was outlawed by the bbc/guardian clique who believe its their exclusive drink.

      • 63
        nellnewman says:

        bobcrow has been known to drink it at lunchtime whilst his members are obediently taking a cut in pay and striking.

        Says everything!

      • 69
        Davey Cameron's bumsex army says:

        He’s not being serious, just being a cun*t

        • 77
          Distraught master & commander says:

          you shouldnt say that i may be a marxist, good enough for the tzars good enough for me

  26. 51
    Abu Qutada says:

    You must understand that we righteous of the true faith are moving swiftly in to the modern world, Why, only last month a new law was passed in Egypt, that allows a husband to make love to his wife up to six hours after her death. Prior to this there were no restrictions. Allah akhbar.

  27. 64
    nellnewman says:

    anybody have a photo of saint bliar, all dressed in white, standing on the bank of the river jordan , acting as godparent to murdoch’s children?

    • 72
      Dipstick Dave says:

      I find that if I close my eyes very tightly and hold his book, he somehow seems to come to me. Perhaps you could try?

    • 119
      the late great Frankie Laine says:

      “Show me dat ribber, push Tony in
      and wash all our troubles away
      While dat lucky ol’ Sun ain’t got nothing to do
      But show ladies’ titties all day”.

  28. 65
    A bit more Farage and a sprinkle of Nads says:

  29. 78
    nellnewman says:

    You have to admit the messiahbliar is incredible!

    He takes us to war on a lie ( wmd at 45mins for which a decent man dies) and after that thousands die.

    And then after he’s trashed the middle east he sets himself up as a pe@ce envoy and turns himself into a multi millionaire from the proceeds!!

    • 84
      I don't need no doctor says:

      When will Blair stand trial for his war crimes?

      • 92
        A taxpayer says:

        I’d rather like it if we tried him for shredding his expenses records.

        • 124
          Forkbender says:

          “I’d rather like it if we tried him for shredding his expenses records” there is nothing to see but surely the pay office should be able to produce some figures but the chance of anything being done is negligible, THEY are are in it together!

      • 123
        Forkbender says:

        “When will Blair stand trial for his war crimes?” since when have any of our beloved ex-leaders in modern times ever been prosecuted for war crimes, the last one I think was Cromwell but he had been dead for a few years before they dug him up.

    • 88
      annette curton says:

      Dr Faustus, nell (Christopher Marlowe), he must have made a pact with the devil but will get his comeuppance when the chickens eventually came home to roost, “Is this the face that burnt [sic] a thousand ships, Cherie make me immortal with a kiss!”.

    • 130
      Quote from de mail says:

      A letter was published in de mail Fri 18th …

      “War stories
      Is Sir John Chilcot still alive? What’s happened to his report on the fiasco leading up to the war on Iraq?
      Have advanced copies been sent to all the people involved and they’re taking their time reading through them to make sure they can suggest making amnedments to the wording so their charachters remain intact?
      Tony Blair, apparently wants to re-engage in politics. Is this because he knows he’s in the clear in the report?

  30. 80
    • 82
      AC1 says:

      These reforms need to be implemented yesterday.

      IMHO It seems Vince has a personal interest in making sure it’s hard to sack useless employees….

      • 85
        Teresa May says:

        they were implemented yesterday – the 22nd of May.

        • 125
          smart alick says:

          presumably this means that crap bosses can be easilt sacked too – because from the detail it appears bosses are never wrong – back to the dark ages with the tories -

  31. 86
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Mandleson is a lying piece of shite.

  32. 87
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Just who’s side is Vince Cable on? Why doesn’t he piss off over to labour. Imagine the trio of Miliband, Balls and Cable.

    • 91
      annette curton says:

      Humbug Suspension Bridge.

    • 96
      Davey Cameron's bumsex army says:

      Nice spitroast

    • 103
      grobdj says:

      Leave tribalism to the tribes – Vince may be a bit wet but at least he speaks his mind

      And he was right about Murdoch, and ring-fencing retail banking

      I also think he is right that there is no need to scare employees during business reforms. Companies are perfectly capable of managing employee relations, and Goverment edicts create more injustices than they ever resolve. The Government should be tackling the massive pile of crap law which was piled on business by the Bliar Brown Darling and Balls. Have you ever read such rubbish as the Dignity at Work Act?

  33. 89
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Chukka Ummuna lacky to the unions. It’s amazing how the rich socialists can tell the working man what’s best for him.
    Crowe, Serwotka, Prentis, all six figure salaries with big pensions.
    Ummuna £1,500 suits.
    Nice hypocrisy comrades.

  34. 101
    Dial M for money grubbing says:

    Murdoch’s perception? Hmmm. He now realises he can’t play the public for fools anymore. Murdoch would do well to hide in a closet for a few years with Fatso Watson for company.

  35. 102
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    It’s the way I tell ‘em.

    • 104
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Yo he’s such a funny guy.

      • 111
        Forkbender says:

        There are the guys who are naturally funny, indeed audiences laugh when they see them even when they have not done anything and then there are the guys who are funny without intending to be funny they just have the ability to do or say the daftest things, Bush, Cheney and certain members of the house of commons, the strange thing is they cannot understand why folks are laughing at them.

  36. 108
    thick as thieves says:


  37. 109
    Hannibal from Cathage says:

    Press jealousy puts politicians to shame.

  38. 112
    Forkbender says:

    Not quite what you think, it has a meaning for Guido though from his 1st autobiographic entry in Wikipedia

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Michael Gove Should Resign | Conservative Women
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Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)

Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”

orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?

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