Guto Spins Himself
Senior Tory sources seem very keen to disabuse any and all as to the demand for Guto Harri’s services. A “person in a position to know” called Guido to emphasise, vehemently, that Guto was never in the running for Downing Street, was never offered a job by Downing Street and was never the first choice ahead of Andy Coulson for the Downing Street job. Despite what you may have read elsewhere. Glad we have cleared that up.
Guto did however manage to convince the Guardian and the Telegraph’s Mandrake otherwise. Nevertheless he managed to spin himself a promotion and pay hike of over £100,000 extra, he is on £250,000 plus benefits at News International, nigh on doubling his pay at City Hall. If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…
UPDATE: Guto has been in touch to insist that he never claimed to have been offered a Downing Street job and that it was merely speculation by journalists.
Da iawn iddo fe!
Guido loves Guto, Guido loves Guto. Fucking bumboy.
Guido, do something! The plebs have sussed me! Everyone thinks I’m a c’unt!
Chillax Dave, not everyone thinks you’re a cun*t – little Govey is still happy to suck you off.
‘Chillax’? What cretinous, superficial PR c’unt thought that shite up?!
A journalist just like Time came up with guesstimate and cinemaddict
Can you really spin evil? You can probably try but no one will believe it.
Did someone mention bums?
Blast from the past
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/mps-to-claim-for-black-markers-used-to-censor-expenses-claims-200903311675
What?
Deathbed confession.
طوني الذي مني به
“TONY MADE ME DO IT!”
It wasn’ae ma fult ye un’stn!
Sorry, Mr MacFuckwit, but we speak English here.
The Scottish Courts give no one any Hope – and Menzies aren’t you a member of the Scottish Legal McMafia and the LSOS and the Faculty of Advocats – who practice to bury matters because of ‘Risk’ …
A Scotsmans or even a Belgians Castle in Scotland is his own.
Lord Eassie did the right thing.
My Private office denies receipt of any correspondence with anything to do with Castles.
You can Knock that one over to Derry in N Ire.
I’m available!!!
Where’s that fountain of truth, Johan Hari, these days? I’m not missing him, mind, just wondering if he’s still breathing.
I was in DC this morning. The air was crisp, cool. I’d finished smoking a Gitane, nonchalantly tossing the stub aside. A Secret Service agent cleared it away, smiling, saluting me.
I went into the White House. Oval Office. Of course. Kennedy looked at me. I could tell he was reassured by my presence. It had been tough on him, these few weeks. I’d been away and Apollo 1 had been a disaster, Apollo 13 almost as bad.
“What should I say to my public?”, he pleaded.
I looked at him. “Tell them,” I said, “ask not what your country can do for you, but what can you do for your country.” He rose from his desk, his eyes bright with wonder and gratitude
(etc etc, continues for 900 words).
I think you taught Penny Red everything.
Weren’t you the pillock who castigated all the Anti-climate change people as being “DENIERS, DENIERS …”
One will re-read your drivel – from the Indy …
Are you best bosum friends with David (fat boy) Arronowitch – by the way?
Johann, you’re brilliant!
I am not sure it is Murdoch’s perception which needs improving, but other peoples’ perception of him.
In his favourite country, for corruption on this scale it would have been a bullet in the back of the head and Wendi picking up the tab.
Oddly, the ranting hatred and obsessive lefty, foam flecked ravings regarding Murdoch, only started when he ditched Gordon Brown. Up until that moment he was old Rup and not a word of critisism was heard from the said loony lefties.
Well until then dear old rupe was invited to labour’s champagne parties & pyjama parties and saint tone appe@ared at murdoch’s childrens baptisms on the banks of the river jordon all dressed in white at which he was made their godfather . Very appropriate!
But as mandy said to leveson today, bliar and brown never met murdoch, never knew murdoch, never did deals with murdoch.
And the gullible beeb sucked up every word and spat it back out as absolute gospel!
Mandy at Leveson?
I think that you are wrong Nell. The only story today is Hunt’s failure to declare his meetings and ‘gifts’ from media organisations. Dr Cable might get a mention too.
And if Mandy was at Leveson , so what? Mandy has assured us that there is nothing to report, nothing of interest for us to pop into any of our bulletins. Everything is above board.
Now run along and pay your Tele Tax.
They were long overdue though.
“If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…” Guto will certainly have his work cut out, unless of course all the fuss dies down due to lack of interest.
Some hope of that! Crown Court trials etc in the offing. I am learning how to knit pending guilotine like sentences being passed.
…and I am baking lots of extra popcorn for the events.
I don’t think people’s perception of Murdoch is too high, It needs to be significantly lower.
Johan’s brother?
“If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…”
He will need Paul Daniels for that!
Maybe a magician even a bit better!
You’ll need a hypnotist like Paul Goldin more like or even Paul McKenna ….
But what is hyponitism – duplicity?
To decide to work for Rupert Murdoch in the first place, he must be hitting the Jack Daniel’s.
Perhaps its not as it all seems – maybe Murdoch’s Henchmen / Lieutenants actually ‘have something on’ the Guttor Pressman …
The trick is to make it look like he’s going there of his own free (albeit greedy) will.
What could Guttor have been up to in the past – such that he is now a compliant new boy spinning for the digger?
NEVER Underestimate me, as long as guys like tits, I’ll be selling papers.
Please, I’m confused: is Mandelson back? Is he keeping Milliband quiet? Is Cable trying to set up a Lib Lab coalition? Is it getting warmer? Where is Galloway? Will it all be ok?
1.He was never far away.
2. Miliband only speaks when your wind him up.
3. He is trying such things, I know not what, but they shall be the terror of the world.
4. Yes. It’s called summer.
5. Southwest corner of Scotland.
6. No.
1.He was never far away.
2. Miliband only sреаks when your wind him up.
3. He is trying such things, I know not what, but they shall be the terror of the world.
4. Yes. It’s called summer.
5. Southwest corner of Scotland.
6. No.
Take your fingers out of the elctricity socket
“No-fault sackings”
Well done, Cameron, for accepting this recommendation from Beechcroft. Anyone who can persuade his customers to pay 4,214% interest obviously has to be listened to. Even more so if he has the good sense to give the odd half-million to your party.
I personally would double my workforce tomorrow if I knew I could sack them on the spot without giving a reason.
They could always take their Wonga elsewhere, I wouldn’t touch it with 10 metre disinfected pole
No it won’t be all OK. Ever.
galloway having won an election that gives him access to the parliamentary teet has retired to his villa in portugal much like gordon has retired to his dark kirkcaldy playroom where both will be paid ad nauseum by the taxpayer for doing nothing.
mandy has been grandstanding for a few days at leveson, no doubt paid too much in expenses for his fantasising and cable is planning his next move which he believes will make him the next pm of the UK.
What scary idiots politics attracts.
Yes but I think paying Gordon to do nothing is a small price to pay.
Thanks chaps, but it’s all a bit troublesome, any chance of some honest endeavour from those who seek to represent us? Or are we all off to Hell in a handcart?
Nell, how many more times? It is ad nauseAm.
The picture is England captian Andrew strauss. Didnt know you was a cricket fan Guido Fawkes ?
I say chaps! – I’m sure he’ll do an absolutely spiffing job! watt wattage are the windmills working at?? What?
Ar you attempting a take-off of mandy at leveson today?
If so it’s not very convincing .
One way or another he tells porkies.
Galloway is in Ireland with one of his wives and Sally Bercow the speakers wife. Still Galloway has a long way to go to catch up with Zuma.
Reference a tweet from Bercow in Ireland last night so Galloway couldn’t have been in Portugal
You can polish a dog turd, but it’s still a dog turd…
“If he can improve the perception of Murdoch over the next couple of years he will have earned every penny…”
I suspect he has more chance of that than improving the perception of cameron now that he’s lost the plot – disappointed!!
His team seem to have lost the plot, only 2 years and they are unravelling. It is starting to get farcical and turning voters off, firstly T. B’Liar, then Pa Broon now Cameron
Or, as Polly Toynbee would seem to be saying in her Tweet, paraphrasing Steve Carell: ”That’s what HE said!”
“We will not desert people of Afghanistan”, Prime Minister David Cameron says.
Translate below.
Desert ? ( an arid area of land).
Dessert? ( trifle) =
The Dessert Fox.
One good turn deserts another?
Give em a referendum, FFS!.
Collateral damage
“We will not desert people of Afghanistan” = “We will desert the people of Afghanistan, particularly women, who will be raped with impunity because the medieval Afghan government (which I support) has legalised rape. Also, most of the Tal*eban fighters are funded and equipped by Pak Is Tan, and I give hundreds of millions of pounds (of your money) to that country for no reason in particular, and I daren’t criticise them because I’m an abject coward.”
I shook hands with mugabe
Dave – as an alternative to chillaxing, why don’t you just fuck off and die?
That isnt funny,you are the type who reduces blogs to insane rantings. Arent you allowed to speak at home ?
” I’m on my way”
” If Putin can do it, who am I to stop myself? “
Hahahahahahahaha…..the BBC is now officially a sick joke. Boo hoo, David Cameron apparently upset Merkel by being too triumphalist, and that anti English cuпt Barroso doesn’t look too happy either.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18144783
Did he start singing ” 2 world wars and one world cup, dooh dah, dooh dah”
Footballs comin home
WTF was Barosso doing there anyway? Who knew that the EUSSR as a member of the G8 ?
PS: Why didn’t the photographer take a piccy of Merky jumping up and down nthe Krauts got their goal so close to full time? Would that have not gone with “the message”?
Guto was quoted as saying that not all NI’s employees hacked phones and behaved illegally.
That’s true, just as not all SS men committed murder.
Tony
Or all tony’s and gordon’s men kowtowed to murdoch.
Just most of them!
Godwin’s law.
Alright, then, if you prefer; not all IDF soldiers kill Palestinians.
Tony
I started a joke that started the whole world crying.
I am a useless piece of Commie shite.
nigel’s expression says it all . This idiot mcshame is talking rubbish. I’ll just let him keep digging his own hole!
Talking of Harri, it seems the Graun could have a Johan of its own if anyone fancies doing some digging instead of window licking – http://wattsupwiththat.com/2012/05/21/the-shonky-world-of-guardian-reporting-they-fakgate-themselves/#more-64020
What’s a “senior Tory source” when it’s out?
With Nick pulling Dave’s strings, they can’t have much clout
Like the struldbrugs of fable, are they legally dead
But every now and then dusted and watered and fed?
You can judge a political party by their champagne.
Tories:
Pol Roger
Considered a gentlemans drink first sale in 1849.
Winston Churchill was a family friend who loved this champers.
A drink of distinction also the only champagne bottle served on Concord(e).
Labour (old & new):
Louis Roederer Crystal
The Co founded in 1778 but Cristal was created in 1876 for the exclusive use of the Russian Tzars.
It is produced in limited quantities and only in exceptional years. At a Sotheby’s auction in New York in Dec 2005 a bottle of Cristal Brut 1990, Millenium 2000, Methuselah (6 Litres) sold for $17,625.
Are you serious about Labour drinking Roederer Cristal? It’s renowned for being dгunk only by gangsters, drug barons and pimps. Oh, wait a mo …
also by bankers & traders in the city, before it was outlawed by the bbc/guardian clique who believe its their exclusive drink.
bobcrow has been known to drink it at lunchtime whilst his members are obediently taking a cut in pay and striking.
Says everything!
He’s not being serious, just being a cun*t
you shouldnt say that i may be a marxist, good enough for the tzars good enough for me
You may be a marxixt, but you’re definitely a cun*t
You must understand that we righteous of the true faith are moving swiftly in to the modern world, Why, only last month a new law was passed in Egypt, that allows a husband to make love to his wife up to six hours after her death. Prior to this there were no restrictions. Allah akhbar.
Lol, where did you dig that one up from?.
It was all over this blog some weeks back. You must have just got back from the pub.
dead right!
I’m still delayed.
anybody have a photo of saint bliar, all dressed in white, standing on the bank of the river jordan , acting as godparent to murdoch’s children?
I find that if I close my eyes very tightly and hold his book, he somehow seems to come to me. Perhaps you could try?
++++Laugh++++
the messiah bliar. militwit apparently believes that he is going to ‘save him’!!
But Dipstick Dave, you are the heir of B’Liar and all that means
“Show me dat ribber, push Tony in
and wash all our troubles away
While dat lucky ol’ Sun ain’t got nothing to do
But show ladies’ titties all day”.
You have to admit the messiahbliar is incredible!
He takes us to war on a lie ( wmd at 45mins for which a decent man dies) and after that thousands die.
And then after he’s trashed the middle east he sets himself up as a pe@ce envoy and turns himself into a multi millionaire from the proceeds!!
When will Blair stand trial for his war crimes?
I’d rather like it if we tried him for shredding his expenses records.
“I’d rather like it if we tried him for shredding his expenses records” there is nothing to see but surely the pay office should be able to produce some figures but the chance of anything being done is negligible, THEY are are in it together!
“When will Blair stand trial for his war crimes?” since when have any of our beloved ex-leaders in modern times ever been prosecuted for war crimes, the last one I think was Cromwell but he had been dead for a few years before they dug him up.
Dr Faustus, nell (Christopher Marlowe), he must have made a pact with the devil but will get his comeuppance when the chickens eventually came home to roost, “Is this the face that burnt [sic] a thousand ships, Cherie make me immortal with a kiss!”.
A letter was published in de mail Fri 18th …
“War stories
Is Sir John Chilcot still alive? What’s happened to his report on the fiasco leading up to the war on Iraq?
Have advanced copies been sent to all the people involved and they’re taking their time reading through them to make sure they can suggest making amnedments to the wording so their charachters remain intact?
Tony Blair, apparently wants to re-engage in politics. Is this because he knows he’s in the clear in the report?
Cameron being the total and typical c’unt that he is
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9280473/Controversial-Beecroft-Report-on-employment-law-published-ahead-of-schedule-after-leak.html
These reforms need to be implemented yesterday.
IMHO It seems Vince has a personal interest in making sure it’s hard to sack useless employees….
they were implemented yesterday – the 22nd of May.
presumably this means that crap bosses can be easilt sacked too – because from the detail it appears bosses are never wrong – back to the dark ages with the tories -
Mandleson is a lying piece of shite.
Years of practice
Just who’s side is Vince Cable on? Why doesn’t he piss off over to labour. Imagine the trio of Miliband, Balls and Cable.
Humbug Suspension Bridge.
Nice spitroast
Leave tribalism to the tribes – Vince may be a bit wet but at least he speaks his mind
And he was right about Murdoch, and ring-fencing retail banking
I also think he is right that there is no need to scare employees during business reforms. Companies are perfectly capable of managing employee relations, and Goverment edicts create more injustices than they ever resolve. The Government should be tackling the massive pile of crap law which was piled on business by the Bliar Brown Darling and Balls. Have you ever read such rubbish as the Dignity at Work Act?
Band, Balls and Cable – sounds like a nasty fairy storybook.
Chukka Ummuna lacky to the unions. It’s amazing how the rich socialists can tell the working man what’s best for him.
Crowe, Serwotka, Prentis, all six figure salaries with big pensions.
Ummuna £1,500 suits.
Nice hypocrisy comrades.
Murdoch’s perception? Hmmm. He now realises he can’t play the public for fools anymore. Murdoch would do well to hide in a closet for a few years with Fatso Watson for company.
They do say opposites attract
It’s the way I tell ‘em.
Yo he’s such a funny guy.
There are the guys who are naturally funny, indeed audiences laugh when they see them even when they have not done anything and then there are the guys who are funny without intending to be funny they just have the ability to do or say the daftest things, Bush, Cheney and certain members of the house of commons, the strange thing is they cannot understand why folks are laughing at them.
YOU HuntZ STILL COME ON HERE – FUCKING SADDOS – I NEVER COME ON HERE ANY MORE
Neither do I, but then I am 83.
Press jealousy puts politicians to shame.
Not quite what you think, it has a meaning for Guido though from his 1st autobiographic entry in Wikipedia