May 14th, 2012

Bada Bingle, Bada Boom

On Thursday Bell Pottinger closed down their “Special Projects” division and sacked everyone involved. This division specialised in murky foreign projects – advising governments in lovely places like Afghanistan, Bosnia, Kosovo, Iraq, Nepal, Northern Ireland, Papua New Guinea, Pakistan, Somalia, South Africa, Yemen and Zimbabwe. Yes, Zimbabwe.

We’re expecting an official announcement at midday that the one and only Peter Bingle is going as well. Restaurant owners across Westminster may have to make further redundancies as a result…

All this is ahead of a management buy-back by Lord Bell himself of the firm he founded. The troubled outfit ironically has a reputation as being closest to the Tories..

UPDATE:


100 Comments

  1. 1
    Hava Nagila says:

    Northern Ireland is “foreign”? When did that happen?

  2. 2
    pasdellyeuxrhonequenous says:

    And what’s wrong with South Africa?

  3. 3
    Murky Man says:

    Ring-a-ding-a-ling!

  4. 4
    Is it? says:

    Huh?

    Do they recive taxpayers money?

  5. 5
    Baldwinscoke says:

    If they Gave Mugabe cancer whilst they were in Zim, then well done to them.

  6. 6
    slaphead Dave says:

    Stock markets down! Living standards down! Tories, down!

    Thank god my hairline is up!

  7. 7
    HRH Prince William says:

    Fuck off baldy! You useless parasite!

  8. 8
    t fuckwit says:

    Its a wonder that fat free state fucker Guido didnt write ‘North of Ireland’

  9. 9
    Tony Bliar says:

    They just could not compete with my credibility. Losers

  10. 10

    Éirinn go brách.

  11. 11
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    As they all say in Harrow.

  12. 12
    Call me 0.7% GDP Dave says:

    Funny most of these places are the ones I like to target with MY foreign aid package, what

  13. 13
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    Here Wills, your parting is a bit skew, want to borrow my chamois?

  14. 14
    Jebus says:

    i dont like Northern ireland being lumped in amongst tyrannies like Afganistan or Somalia or Zimbabwe…..

  15. 15
    Mine d'Boggles says:

    Harrow Weald, shurely.

  16. 16
    t fuckwit says:

    Tuaisceart na hÉireann

  17. 17
    Raving Loon says:

    Northern Ireland – that well known tyrannical tin pot dictatorship.

  18. 18
    Justice Fingers says:

    Why is Bradford not in the list?

  19. 19
    Pol Pot says:

    ป๊อป กิตติพงศ์ ตันติชินานนท์

  20. 20
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Because its not possible to make any money there.

  21. 21
    tottenham chutzpah says:

    With that sort of record they ought to have been advising de Cameron

  22. 22
    Georgous George says:

    I beg to differ.

  23. 23
    Bono says:

    Dat’s Oirish for Ireland’s gone broke.

  24. 24
    tottenham chutzpah says:

    good question – just as – have they received anyone else’s

  25. 25

    Would you rather the Septics did the paid work and gathered the tax?
    Or perhaps more enlightened and ethically unencumbered countries like Cuba, Russia, China?
    Or is it the whole Devil and long spoon thing?
    What do the be-spooked ones get back as intel?
    Have you thought through the possibility of the law of unintended consequences?

    Or does dealing with questionable (NOT Northern Ireland!) government offend your Liberal sensitivities, and you’d rather someone else did it?

    Just a few questions. Do carry on.

  26. 26
    Peedant says:

    Oirland – surely?

  27. 27
    Peedant says:

    Did you mean ‘trannies’ ? – they all seem a little mixed up.

  28. 28
    DO NOWT DAVE says:

    Can you lot try and work a bit harder
    Sam’s Flora and fauna needs a quick trim
    Toodle Pip

  29. 29
  30. 30
    AC1 says:

    >what’s wrong with South Africa?
    Rapidly becoming Mugabe style Apartheid nation .

  31. 31
    AC1 says:

    In terms of reciprocal v extortion funded sector, it’s more like communist East Germany.

  32. 32
    Rage Against the Politcal Elite says:

    Did they advise Salmond on the Border controls needed to stop cross border Alcohol smuggling, Splitting the Union so the USA can get their hands on North Sea Oil and Gas. No wonder Murdoch was behind Salmond support.

  33. 33
    David Cameron says:

    I intend to refer Bell Pottinger to Leveson in due course.
    Good Afternoon

  34. 34

    As they certainly do say in Harrow Weald. Is de Irish/Somalian ghetto of Harrow didn’t you know.

    More Irish pubs per square mile in Wealdstone than anywhere I know outside Kilburn and Neasden in their prime. Not many Tories in Sullivans Wine Barthough but plenty of Irish Thatcherites further to the East in the City Of London.

    Erin Go Bragh!

  35. 35
    BULLISH!!! says:

    Nearly midday :)

    FTSE 100 -1.8pc
    CAC -2.4pc
    DAX -2.2pc
    IBEX -2.9pc
    MIB -3pc

  36. 36
    Boris, - the only one who tells it like it is says:

    …. the guarantee of funding from the licence fee left BBC staff with “an innocent belief that everything in life should be ‘free”‘.
    “No wonder – and I spéąk as one who has just fought a campaign in which I sometimes felt that my chief opponent was the local BBC news – the prevailing view of Beeb newsrooms is, with honourable exceptions, statist, corporatist, deféątist, anti-business, Europhile and, above all, overwhelmingly biased to the Left.”
    …. the next director general, replacing Mark Thompson who is stepping down later this year, should be someone who is “free-market, pro-business and understands the depths of the problems this country faces. We need someone who knows about the work ethic, and cutting costs. We need a Tory, and no mucking around”

    (ack. D. Tel.)

  37. 37

    Well spotted “Who ate”….

    We need advice on what to eat from someone who doesn’t have a clue on how to divide and rule her own food portions.

    Bit like the Catholic church, Dianne. A bunch of people who DON’T have sex telling people who do, what “Is acceptable” ?

  38. 38
    Who ate all the pe@s? says:

    Oh I think they get plenty of sex, just not with the right person.

  39. 39
    Ivor Tapeworm says:

    Surely the real story is why the special projects division was closed. A sudden attack of ethics? I doubt it.

  40. 40

    Check the weather – when the sun comes out in London next – just out of interest – check what happens to shares. Then when it goes all “global warming” cold and grey again, check what it does then.

    Weird stuff, the human psyche.

  41. 41
    Backwoodsman says:

    no, it should be a subscription channel, like any other. Let labour pay for their own fucking propaganda !

  42. 42
    WVM says:

    Well said but can’t we just break the BBC up and sell it off to the highest bidder, god know we need the money right now.

  43. 43

    And sadly won’t get one. Bit like asking turkeys to vote for Christmas.

  44. 44

    Or, indeed, age!

  45. 45
    AC1 says:

    Why not just sell the back catalogue to the highest bidder, and turn the BBC into a mutual society owned by subscribers?

  46. 46
    AC1 says:

    Seems “beta” Bullish to me

    Outperforming the Euro-wreck stock-markets rather spectacularly.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_%28finance%29

  47. 47

    Bloody hell, Guido! Slow news day, or what? I’ve been reading this item all morning – are you hung over, bored or just taunting us to be creative with minimalism??

  48. 48
    annette curton says:

    Lol, she’ll be bringing out a keep fit with Diane DVD next, as the old joke goes… I must be suffering from anorexia because every time I see myself in the mirror I think what a fat cow.

  49. 49

    Yes, Guido – there’s plenty of news buzzing out there:

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/sex-toys-worth-11000-stolen-832323

    Get your finger out boy, or it’ll be lines and detention!

  50. 50
    annette curton says:

    So somebody’s not a happy bunny, but on the other hand, lots of other people are.

  51. 51
    A Suggestion says:

    Is Tebbit looking for a well paying part time job?

  52. 52
    Penfold says:

    In my humble view lobbyists should be burnt at the stake, and the ashes dissolved in Sulphuric Acid and then dumped.

    Those guilty of association with the devils spawn, should be sent to Siberia for re-education and made to stand on the naughty step for 20 years.

  53. 53
    Hippy Cratic says:

    hey man – feel the vibes zzzzz

  54. 54
    Get in! says:

  55. 55
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m represented by Bell Potty Chair.

  56. 56
    Dizaei Rascal says:

    What’s the latest on that slimy crooked twat Ali Dizaei? Is he due for release? Is he going to launch another appéal at taxpayers expense? Let’s just stick a shisha pipe up his arse and deport the fucker back to raghead land.

  57. 57
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Al1sta1r Campb3ll is at Leveson today, yet the BBC haven’t mentioned it.

  58. 58
    I hate the fucking bbc says:

    Unbelievable!

  59. 59
    Jimmy says:

    Thank you for resisting the “Bell Ends” headline.

  60. 60
    Anon says:

    What, Bradford?

  61. 61
    Anonymous says:

    Legal action.

  62. 62
    Authoritarian Abbott says:

  63. 63
    The BBC says:

    We remember what he did to us the last time.

  64. 64
    SouthEastVoter says:

    Peter Hain quits shadow cabinet to spend more time in the local Tanning Booth

  65. 65
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    At Stalingrad, the Red Army used to make captured German soldiers strip naked and stand in the snow. The Russians would then pour water over the Germans’ feet, freezing them to the spot, where they would be left to die.

    Next time Camoron’s man-made global warming causes another snow-storm, we should use it as an opportunity to “get Soviet” with the lobbyists, and the MPs they lobby.

  66. 66
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    I certainly don’t want to see them in a tugging contest.

  67. 67

    They don’t like it up…. oh, sorry Mr Mainwaring, it turns out they do, sir.”

  68. 68
    sockpuppet #4 says:

    Scotland is a lot further away from Calais.

  69. 69
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    Isn’t Scotland still part of the UK? Or does Fatbutt know something we don’t?

  70. 70
    BBC = Labour Mouthpiece says:

    Well I never!

  71. 71
    BBC = Labour Mouthpiece says:

    Fuck off bellend!

  72. 72
    Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

    Yes, it is foreign. Just because the most of the people there have the same citizenship as most of us in England, doesn’t make them the same nationality. The British state had no right to retain those six counties. They belong with the rest of Ireland.

  73. 73

    Sadly, Uncle Joe then went on to starve to death and murder 23,000,000 Russians and Ukrainians – so not perhaps the best tactics to suggest to get rid of people who just use words to influence.

    Better JAW,,JAW, than…

  74. 74
    I send my kids to a private school says:

    No it doesn’t you fat bitch, how about a minimum calorie price on food eh?
    Didn’t think so, now get back on that banana boat and fuck off home.

  75. 75

    Tower Hamlets?

  76. 76
    Aint no party like a Jihadi party cos a Jihadi party don't stop says:

    Or Luton or Manchester or Tower Hamlets.

  77. 77
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    I would have liked the “bell end” headline.

  78. 78
    White Farmer says:

    hehehe… I put some broken glass in it too, shhhhh.

  79. 79
    Jamaican Jerk says:

    She’s not the brightest darky in Hackney by a long way.

  80. 80
    Chicк℮η ℛic℮ & ℙ℮α says:

    Minimum calorie price on all take away food!

  81. 81
    Chicк℮η ℛic℮ & ℙ℮α says:

    How about a minimum calori℮ pric℮ on all take away food you fat bitch!

  82. 82
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    Oh I don’t know – no death could be too grizzly for our scumbag MPs.

  83. 83
    DO NOWT DAVE says:

    I am a firm believer in “British jobs for British workers” That is why after wasting 250 millions of your quids i’ve opted to buy the F35 from the Americans
    Toodle pip !

  84. 84
    All politicians are scum says:

    I hope it was soaked in week-old dog’s p*ss.

    Infectionalicious!

  85. 85
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    Did you make sure you bought the under-performing one? You know, the short-range jumpjet that can’t actually jump? The one that can’t carry much weapons or fuel? You know, the really awful F35 that only a clown would buy? That one?

  86. 86
    Former Colleague says:

    ‘Murky Foreign Projects’? Sounds like another one for Handycock. Come on Handy – tell us what you got up to with Bell Pottinger.

  87. 87
    What George should be saying says:

  88. 88

    Is there an echo in here?

    here?

    here?

  89. 89
    Anonymous says:

    Privatisation?

  90. 90
    DO NOWT DAVE says:

    Yes How did you know ? That’s Classified information
    The Americans gave us a great deal on it
    They took our Harriers in part ex !

    Toodle Pip

  91. 91
    pasdellyeuxrhonequenous says:

    Bollocks

  92. 92
    Vague says:

    As is my prick !!

  93. 93
    A Tonsurator says:

    Wot ? Like shaving Drunken Smith’s head every day ??

  94. 94
    Edinburgh can go and fuck itself up it collective arsehole! says:

    Bingo!

  95. 95
    Edinburgh can go and fuck itself up its collective arsehole! says:

    Bingo!

  96. 96
    Edinburgh can go and fuck itself up its collective arsehole! says:

    Bell Pottinger? Pathetic!

  97. 97
    How to bytch on the phone says:

    Ha ha ha!

  98. 98
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    In Europe – lucky, lucky b’stards.

  99. 99
    Tony B.liar -God father to Murdoch's kid- nose permanently up Murdoch's ass. says:

    Grrr!

  100. 100
    Jimmy The Cripple says:

    Oh dear!


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