May 9th, 2012

Miliband is a Reader

Miliband probably had his best Commons outing yet this afternoon. When Guido asked his team what what they fed him today the reply was “Tories on toast.” There was a touch of a young William Hague in the balance of well-timed comedy and attack…

Ed (or his speechwriters) have clearly been reading the Daily Star Sunday – his Boris gag was lifted straight from it:

NOTICEABLY, the Prime Minister did not pop in to the party to congratulate the only Tory success of the elections. Just as well, since Boris, when he finally arrived, thanked supporters who, he joked, beat “the rain, the BBC, that Budget and the endorsement of David Cameron”.

If you missed that, and the rest of Guido’s Sunday column, then you can read it online here.


257 Comments

  1. 1
    Sacked intern says:

    Milband is a Wonker!

  2. 2
    Fat Lady says:

    ABU QATADA’S LAWYERS HAVE APPLIED FOR BAIL HEARING BEFORE SPECIAL IMMIGRATION APPEALS COMMISSION

  3. 3
    The Grim Reaper says:

    A Star is Not Born

  4. 4
  5. 5
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    For fuck sake Dave, there’s no point in continually appeasing a bunch of Limpdick bedwetters just for some deluded notion that it keeps you “in power”. They’re going to be annihilated at the next election and on present form the Tories are going with them. Either grow a pair and stand up to them or move aside for someone who will.

  6. 6
    Guido's renowned typos make it to The Star says:

    “Miliband had an egg smashed on him in Southampton. It would be eggspected to happen to any high-profi le politician. “

  7. 7
    Labour front says:

    should the diameter of one’s stool vary much?

  8. 8
    Empty Ed lashed to his infantile mast says:

    I love the titties in the Daily Star

    Pwease put more on the front page

  9. 9
    Percy Longprong says:

    You can’t polish a turd !

  10. 10
    Reuters correspondent, always first with the news says:

    Greece going down

    Next in line Gwido’s domicile

    http://www.davidmcwilliams.ie/2012/01/25/private-debt-so-enormous-that-default-is-only-option

  11. 11
    Convenience says:

    OT: I just filled out a voting intention survey from Populus Live and the subsection was on trustworthy media. They had the main TV channels and the national newspapers. Plus one blog. This one! Thought you might like to know.

  12. 12
    To coin a phrase says:

    Sold Out!

  13. 13
    Pubescent Ed says:

    Hello Guido

    I even read your blog from time to time

    To see how low the Right has sunk in the UK

    I see you are following Murdoch into the gutter

    But at least he was not a porno merchant

  14. 14
    Peter Mangledbum says:

    It depends on how often and how much of a sausage jockey you are.

  15. 15
    Ah! Monika says:

    News like that can ruin Guido’s reputation

  16. 16
    OED says:

    Could you please let us have your definition of pornography?

    What about the shelling of innocents in Homs for instance

  17. 17
    Egged MerelyBland says:

    I’m quite a Hero aren’t I!

    And ath for my tharp repontheth to the Prime Minither – wordth cannot expreth it!!

  18. 18
    Gordon Brown says:

    QUICK!! Throw the Gold overboard! – anything to lose weight!

  19. 19
    The Fat Lady is warming up says:

    One by one all of the PIIGS will fail, nothing can save them. Just one look at the numbers tells all. The EUro is finished, all that needs to be decided now is when to turn off it’s life support.

  20. 20
    Marmite says:

    Millibandwagon is a two faced, union tied tw*t.

  21. 21
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    You haven’t heard of the Westminster Turd Polishers Club? President; Bollox Balls. Treasurer; Boy Osborne. Chief Enforcer; Mad Frankie Fraud.

  22. 22
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Dear oh dear. Please use your real title, Lord Nepotism of the Lardies.

  23. 23
    A BIG Lady with BIG needs says:

    yoo little inglisha vill pay ze price to zer Glorious Fatherland! Unt vee vill vin ze voor! Ha! Ha! Ha!

  24. 24
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Only in extreme circumstances. Piggy Pickles have been mistaken for elephant dung.

  25. 25
    Expat Geordie says:

    +1

    Any suggestion who should take over though?

    David Davis? IDS? Both ex-servicement with lots of business experience. Bringing back Lord Young would help as well.

    Someone with a principled bone in their body would be nice.

    Once upon a time being a tory actually meant that you believed in something.

  26. 26
    A BIG Lady with BIG needs says:

    A BIG Lady with BIG needs says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    May 9, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    xxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx

    did I mention a fav dish from places near the e q u a t o r?

  27. 27
    Expat Geordie says:

    A tory on Tyneside. Not a lot of scope for nepotism there. I don’t remember the Cunninghams being to the right of centre, or right about anything.

  28. 28
    Osama the Nazarene says:

    Doubt if Millinabd minor reads your column, probably tells a SPAD to do it and feed him the best bits.

  29. 29
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Serious comment for once. Your general thrust is correct except that Italy will be ok (they owe most of their debt to their own population), Ireland might survive (only one showing discipline) and I would look very carefully at France (National Stats Office data is notoriously massaged). Will take time though; Germany will want it to be a gradual process due to their holdings of bonds (see Commerzbank results).

  30. 30
    Angry of London says:

    Milliband is the next Prime Minister. Even the betting shops think so now.

    What a f*_cking damning inditement of the UK that out of a population of around 75 million, the best person we can find to be our leader is some rubber-faced sex doll with a ZX-spectrum sound chip for a voice.

    I mean really!!! With all the historical legacy, inventions and great men that this counrty has seen, is this really the best we can do?

    I reckon I could find many better behind the fish counter of my local Tesco’s. What a sorry shower of sh*_t.

  31. 31
    G Brown lover of Prudence says:

    What have you got against bedwetters? Equality for all bedwetters, please!

  32. 32
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

  33. 33
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Guido a porn dealer? When is he going to buy a football club?

  34. 34
    Brown's shit st@ins says:

    The tories are still in with a chance now Milibland is still leader. The electorate are complete fools if they think Labour can turn the economy around!

  35. 35
    David Laws Lib Dem Fiddler says:

    So the best the Tory Led Coalition can come up with to create growth is giving a share of paternity leave to husbands/partners. How politically correct, huge cost to business and of NO value to create growth. When will these schoolboys learn????

    Good grief. I thought they were trying to atone for the calamity over the last few months.

    Will the Muslims recently convicted of sex crimes get an enhanced punishment for it being a racially aggravated crime?

  36. 36
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    Those of us with longer memories remember the betting making Kinnock favourite at the mid term and even ‘the idiot abroad’ – Fetus Hague – deposing Blair in the betting for a brief moment. The odds follow the money and the British public always lose to the bookies.

  37. 37
    Tachybaptus says:

    The electorate are complete fools.

  38. 38
    Tristram Smallbore-ffipps says:

    You misunderstand the paternity leave proposal. It means Bonkers will get 400 days off each year and be unable to interfere in London.

  39. 39
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Anyone else hear Nicky Campbell this morning? He had gallons of whitewash out for those followers of the rel1g1on of p3ac3

    The BBC out and out pathetic.

  40. 40
    Calamity Clegg says:

    It’s one of the joys of being in the Coalition !!! xx

  41. 41
    Anonymous says:

    Milibandwagon PM? All the postal v*tes in the country and all the Union strikes in the country will not get him in No.10.

    The people of this country should wake up and stop voting for Leiber, who sold our country down the river, AND got rich on the bl**d of our de.a.d servicemen.

    Is everyone on d.r.u.g.s. these days ffs?

  42. 42
    Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

    Cameron needs to grow up. The vast majority of voters do not give a shit about gay marriage or Lords reform. Most people care about their jobs and the way that prices and taxes are going up much more quickly than income. the Queen’s speech was little short of a disgrace.

  43. 43
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Camperon is a mong, if he could get ris of the ginger mongs north of the border and push through the boundery changes he could rob Lieobre of up to 80 seats making it impossible for them to get a majority again.

    But I think Camperon doesn’t want to be a majority government, he gets a kick out of sucking off Clegg and pissing off the Tory right.

    He’s toast alright and the Tories know it. As for Osborne, he makes Gordon Brown look talented.

  44. 44

    The BBC said it was David who got the egg, and the BBC is never wrong.

  45. 45
    Harry Hill says:

    STUPID QUESTION OF THE WEEK

    BBC…’Vomiting and screaming’
    Why did CIA boss destroy secret waterboarding tapes?

  46. 46
    Jack (I work for the KGB) Jones says:

    He still looks like a giant foreskin.

  47. 47
    Adrian Swall says:

    Is that the Cunningham MP whose Labour councillor dad was jailed for corruption just after they named the Shields ferry after his mother?

  48. 48
    Ed Balls says:

    Ah, there you are. ONE sugar and TWO teas you dumb c’unt.

  49. 49

    You should have tried LBC.

    Well known super liberal, James O’Brien had the same topic.
    Without the whitewash. And the Muslim woman who works with victims of rape, who would be almost a saint on the Beeb, went away very sorry she that she had called up after he verbally kicked her headscarf off.

    See BBC. That’s how you do balance.
    People need to be able to defend their views. You let them do that, but without pandering to their sensibilities.

    Thee BBC think having an Islamist hate preacher on the show to defend his whakoness, and inviting a right wing, Christian fundamentalist, Apocalypse, bible burner on to preach their looney tunes somehow balances things out.

    It doesn’t. Its just pointless.

  50. 50
    The bar is set very low though says:

  51. 51

    I say steady on.
    “Osborne makes Gordon Brown look talented? ”
    Lets not say things we can’t take back.

  52. 52
    Anonymous says:

    stop plugging your crap paper

  53. 53
    Ed@millibandwagon. says:

    Bob Crow just called me a winner!

    You’re a little weiner, Ed, You really are.

  54. 54
    Owain Glyndwr says:

    Radio 5 with fatso nolan and his boyfriend who shouts like a girl owen jones on the other night with some bender of a bishop who talks shite, where the phuck do the bbc drag these mongs from

  55. 55

    BBC NEWS – 2015

    Jeremy Hunt was the most senior official in the party and he wrote a letter to William Hague after the damaging loss of hundreds of councils in May 2012.
    He warned of growing financial difficulties and the threat of relegation from government

    Hunt wrote of Keaneron: “He has lost the crowd and as a result of this evening’s results has lost the party supporters dressing room as well – the voters no longer want to vote for him. It is a shame and disappointing but we must act now to save the country.”

    It is unknown whether Hunt received a reply but few of the recommendations in his 2,500-word letter were acted upon.

    The Tory party were relegated to the Championship after Ed Miliband road a bandwagon into parliament last week.
    Keaneron has said he isn’t standing down and intends to lead the party back to glory.

    And the Liberal Democrats have gone into voluntary administration after their wipeout in the election last week. The Liberals lost 99% of their MPs and have now been overtaken as the third party of politics by the Respect Party.

  56. 56
    annette curton says:

    And why did Tony Blair stop having minutes recorded at cabinet meetings and then shred everything just before he handed over to Gordon Brown?, Dumb Cu*ts.

  57. 57
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC are still spinning proactively for the M****m R*** G***. When it comes to rac3, the only link the BBC make is with the BeNPee

  58. 58
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC is pointless.

  59. 59
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Can we waterboard the BBC? Stat with Radio 5 please.

  60. 60
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Be honest that’s not saying much though is it?

  61. 61
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Hampstead Heath, the Guardian and any old gay bar in Salford

  62. 62
    The lumpen proletariat says:

    To the tower, with Skinner. Treasonous offal. His behaviour is also tedious and inappropriate (other than for a self-publicist)!

  63. 63
    annette curton says:

    Funny, I thought Mr M***m R*** G***. Was closely linked to another organisation, thank you BBC for pointing out my ignorant misapprehensions.

  64. 64
    It's the girls and their parents fault says:

    “It takes two to tango”

    Young pakistani man quoted on BBC News just now.

  65. 65
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Time to cut the executive pay at the BBC. Are the BBC executives predators or providers?

  66. 66
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Now why would my comment be under moderation?

  67. 67
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Email him, with your thoughts, at skinnerd@parliament.uk.

  68. 68
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Paul Waugh dumbed down expectation.

  69. 69
    I don't need no doctor says:

    What amazes me about labour is that they fuck the country up and then take the piss out of those trying to get the country right again.

  70. 70
    annette curton says:

    And Make it Radio 5 Live as well, get the electrodes out and start the generator up.

  71. 71
    Anonymous says:

    I dont think , for one minute that Ed B, Yvette, Hattie, Jack etc will let that happen. I bet they are amazed he has lasted this long !

  72. 72
    Eric Pickles is useless says:

    I see that the ramifications of the failures of Eric Pickles to clean up corrupted local governments like Waltham Forest Council continue. Last night the planning committee voted on ‘party lines’ to permit a dense Boradwater farm style slum building project in Walthamstow – on a heritage site – against the wishes of 97% of local residents and in the face of the opposition of many councillors and two MPs: Iain Duncan Smith and Stella Creasy.

    The vote is widely considered to be inexplicable unless corruption is the explanation. Now Boris Johnson will have to do the right thing and reject the application.

  73. 73
    A Goldfish says:

    A week is a long time in poly-wotsitcalled.

  74. 74
    Well it's a thought says:

    In our ar- e-a Liebour have taken over the council after ye ars of no overall control, I see the surveyors are out today, looks as if phase III of a Liebour building plan is getting ready to start up, wonder how much we as ratepayers are going to get screwed, it’s to make jobs for the unemployed you understand so costs to taxpayers don’t matter.

  75. 75
    English Liberation Front says:

    Apart from the unfortunate voice. He sounds like an earnest sixth-former debating the morality of clubbing seals.

  76. 76
    Puzzled says:

    Only failed wonkers read and write in the Daily Star.

  77. 77
    Boudicca says:

    It must be heartening for them to know they have the support of Yvette Cooper/Balls and the rest of the Labour front bench.

  78. 78
    Boudicca says:

    Did she have a continuous flow of passengers on board?

  79. 79
    Luke Tutherway says:

    OMG, there’s going to be a National Crime Agency.
    Our politicians have achieved quite enough damage without being organised; heaven help us if the NCA’s going to organise them.

  80. 80
    Justvsaying says:

    Get a life you balding twat.

  81. 81
    WVM says:

    Too costly to the good British tax paying public.
    I’ll do it for free just send ‘em to the tower of London I’ll be waiting there with a pair of pliers, that’s all I’ll need.

  82. 82
    grobdj says:

    Clinton Cards (admittedly already struggling) now in admin after Barclays and RBS sold their debt to a US supplier, who then demanded impossible repayment terms

    And the banks expect us to trust them?

  83. 83
    rumour says:

  84. 84
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    To be fair he meant two p*****ni men

  85. 85
    Who why what where when says:

    By hushing up this story and refusing to disclose or discuss vital facts,the BBC has perpetuated the myth that these young girls were ‘asking for it’. The editors and journalists involved should hang their heads in shame.

  86. 86
    Trevor Phillips says:

    …and he’s right, white trash chav girls wandering around dressed like that!
    They were asking for it.

  87. 87
    Eric Pickles is useless says:

    The contractors will be employing Eastern Europeans

  88. 88
    WVM says:

    The BBC is a fucking disgrace.

  89. 89
    Eric Pickles is useless says:

    The contractors will be employing Eastern Europ£ans

  90. 90
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Victoria Derbyshire looks like she’s been locked in the Iron mask for 100 years.

  91. 91
    Sack Vichy Dave - Elect a Tory says:

    It is a truly miserable excuse for a paper

  92. 92
    Er says:

    What do you think ACPO has been all this time? A private company milking the taxpayer?

  93. 93
    WVM says:

    I’d of said parasites, but that’s me.

  94. 94
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    Councils “making decisions, so you don’t have to”

    Pickles should start now by offing his own position as that is a bigger waste of taxpayers money

  95. 95

    Thatch dead.

    I hope the billion lefty Hunts dancing tonight slip and break their necks.

  96. 96
    smoggie says:

    Milliband is a reader.

    Comprehensive Boy can read shocker.

  97. 97
    WVM says:

    Yeah… and Gordon Brown has turned up at the Houses of Parliament!

  98. 98
    smoggie says:

    They’ve only been socialist a day and already the shite has hit the airwaves.

  99. 99
    smoggie says:

    Who’s paying for these fucking lawyers?

  100. 100

    Or maybe she ain’t… regardless, I hope they break their necks….

  101. 101
    Mornington Crescent says:

    Pre-pack, anyone…?

  102. 102
    WVM says:

    Good call.

  103. 103
    Trevor Phillips says:

    There’s no such thing as race, it’s just a social construct.

  104. 104

    Turns out the French are incompetent and untrustworthy fuckwits – who knew?

  105. 105
    Thats the end of that then. says:

  106. 106
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    It’s a cert

  107. 107
    Sherlock says... says:

    No shit

  108. 108
    EdButLookBalls says:

    Did the Hunt or his front bench-wench offer any solution apart from Domestos to the shite that they dropped this country well into, feck off commentators and see the leibour twats for what they are, opportunists and hypocrites!!!

  109. 109
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’d teach him to write but the bastard’d nick my crayon.

  110. 110
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    Clintons should send them this http://www.deanmorriscards.co.uk/minge-fanny-402.html

  111. 111
    smoggie says:

    BBC execs desperately recorking the Bolly.

  112. 112
    Johann Hari says:

    “The reports of Lady Thatcher’s death are greatly exaggerated.”

    Original line…thought it up myself!

  113. 113
    Living in 98 percent white Merseyside says:

    Hope the weather’s nice tomorrow for our celebrations!

  114. 114
    Who w says:

    We probably are.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    Apart from when positive discrimination is necessary?

  116. 116
    Gooey Blob says:

    You’re forgetting that Labour are utterly unelectable. That’s why turnout is so low and Galloway beat Labour in their own back yard. The coalition may be rubbish, but the alternative isn’t an alternative and nobody wants to vote for them either. Can you see Miliband as PM with Balls as chancellor in 2015? No, neither can I. Absolutely unthinkable!

    Now, if Labour were to retire their front bench and start again from scratch, they might be in with a chance…

  117. 117
  118. 118
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    Euro still tumbling. At 1.2476

    Off to Spain in 2 weeks (if it’s still there)

  119. 119
    Boudicca says:

    They mean Vidal Sassoon. Easy mistake.

  120. 120
    HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE says:

    Won’t be long till the entire French Banking system is dead.

  121. 121
    Expat Geordie says:

    Whose Labour councillor and union leader dad Andy (who recently died aged 100 – the good definitely die young in that family) with a nice house, a new Jag every year, and who named the South Shields ferry after his wife just before he was jailed, you mean.

    Yes, that’s the one.

  122. 122
    Expat Geordie says:

    How about shelling p e a s?

  123. 123
    Expat Geordie says:

    +1

  124. 124
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Or when white people kill black people. Can you imagine the limp wristed action at the BBC and Guardian if a gang of white men had raped and abused black or M****m girls? especially if it turned out the Police had known about it an done fuck all, imagine the fucking plods trying to get out of that by saying it’s not rac1al.

    Note the ONLY rac1st link the BBC is going on is the Bee-en-p.

  125. 125
    Gooey Blob says:

    He who pays the piper, and all that.

    Miliband doesn’t want Balls as his shadow chancellor, but let’s face it, he has no choice in the matter. So long as Balls sticks to the crazy economics that lost Labour the last election, the unions will keep him there.

    Totally unelectable.

  126. 126
    I fucking hate the bbc says:

    Scousers – always the victims it’s never their fault

  127. 127
    David 'localism' Camoron says:

    “against the wishes of 97% of local residents”

    Yes, well that serves them right for not writing their objections on the back of £250,000 cheques made payable to me.

    Then I’d listen.

    You’ll learn, oiks. You’ll learn.

  128. 128
    David Camoron says:

    “against the wishes of 97% of local residents”

    Yes, well that serves them right for not writing their objections on the back of £250,000 che*ques made pay*able to me.

    Then I’d listen.

    You’ll learn, oi*ks. You’ll learn.

  129. 129
    Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

    You need look no further than my election and the re-election of the corrupt LibDems in the recent Portsmouth local elections for proof that the electorate are complete fools. Boaz.

  130. 130
    Well it's a thought says:

    1997 to 2010 never existed in Liebourland, the whitewash has truly dried and all due to the idiot Camoron and his love in with the Libsh*tes, he’s screwed his own voters, as with last Thursday they have shown they will screw him when they get chance to vote again.

  131. 131
    smoggie says:

    What’s wrong with getting paid to have your opinions published? Knob.

  132. 132
    Gooey Blob says:

    It’s not just Ed M who is unelectable, just take a look at the other faces on Labour’s front bench. They need a complete clear-out before the electorate will trust them again. Oh, and some sort of admission that they messed up the country’s finances last time and a promise not to repeat their mistakes.

  133. 133
    Expat Geordie says:

    “The editors and journalists involved should hang their heads in shame.”

    They should just hang.

  134. 134
  135. 135
    Anonymous says:

    There are some right fucking snobs and knobs on here smoggs.

  136. 136
    Expat Geordie says:

    + infinity!!!!!!!!!!!!

  137. 137
    BBC Exec says:

    Fuck that, I’m drinking it. It’s free. We’ll just get another lorry load

  138. 138
    nellnewman says:

    Well I’m glad militwit can read that’s more than the kids during bullyballs’ day as education secretary were given!

  139. 139
    nellnewman says:

    Oh Spain will still be there. Bruised but still surviving. Find a nice warm spot , sea view and a glass of Torres10 and enjoy!

  140. 140
    Perplexed says:

    And Miwwibwand will still have to grawl his way through the televised debates, which will remind the country what a panda eyes, snot-nosed twat he is.

  141. 141
    nellnewman says:

    Mrs T is a legend. One of the few ex PM’s who did not have feet of clay.

    And lets face it, the rest , haroldwilson, jimcallaghan, michaelfoot, bliar and brown all turned out to be thugs with clay feet.

    MrsT has left a legacy like churchill that will outlive her.

    What have gordon and bliar left other than an illegal war and a trashed economy?

  142. 142
    David Laws Lib Dem Fiddler says:

    Will his family also be forced to leave so we can cut the welfare and legal aid bill?

  143. 143
    beached says:

    Browned off at the moment Nell but fortunately not the Gordon kind.
    Weather unbelievably warm. Too much of a good thing ?- Never.

  144. 144
    nellnewman says:

    Love Spain. Spaniards too are so likeable .Food glorious. Climate matchless.

    I envy you. Enjoy!

  145. 145
    short back and sides says:

    Elsewhere death announced of Vidal Sassoon- celebrity hair stylist to all and sundry.
    Makes you wonder if the French were referring to another “thatcher”

  146. 146
    nellnewman says:

    I wouldn’t bother, like gordon, anything he could write wouldn’t be worth reading!

  147. 147
    screw the lot of them says:

    lol, Cameron is damaged goods.

    David Cameron failed to declare two new meetings with News International chief Rebekah Brooks, including one just two days after his press aide Andy Coulson quit, it has emerged.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/phone-hacking/9255030/David-Cameron-failed-to-declare-meeting-with-Rebekah-Brooks-two-days-after-Andy-Coulson-quit.html


    Untrustworthy, incapable and unelectable.

  148. 148
    Anonymous says:

    Germany warns Greece it will halt aid unless it commits to bailout

    It’s so nice to know who your real friends are at a time like this, considering of course that we are all in this together.

    Will Germany never ever learn? I think not!

  149. 149
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    These days just about every post that actually says anything gets fucking modded, it’s a joke.

  150. 150
    naughty says:

    lol!

  151. 151
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    So Michael Portaloo does a trip to Greece and finds out that despite the Euro and Germans trashing their economy, they STILL want to stay in the Euro.

    So I say fuck them.

  152. 152
    Saffron says:

    Tell you what,the past week in politico’s has been an utter disaster.
    Firstly Boris scrapes in against that commie a–e h-l- Livingscum.
    Cammoron is complaining that Cleggover is stopping him being a real Cons leader.
    The Queens speech today was another disaster,retorich and no substance.
    Red Ed and his anonoidal response was to say the least total and utter CRAP.
    Liebour and their policies have brought this country down to this ferrets in a sack politics with their profligate spending.
    When oh when are the sheeple of this once great country going to wake up to this all for it for ourselves politicians.
    WE NEED TO GET RID OF THESE KINDS OF SELF CENTERED POLITICIANS and wake up to the fact that if you want to rid yourselves of this blight which is currently upon us you really really need to make your voices heard,BIG TIME.

  153. 153
    beached says:

    Austerity bites everwhere but with a clear sky at night, warm sun overday and economical wines, beers, brandies: fresh fish, food, salads and vegetables South Europe@n countries suffer in silence. Why work yourself up into a sweat shouting anti slogans when you know it will have no effect.
    Maybe a little warm weather your way will have a beneficial affect too. Miserable weather I believe, but the wets at the top, both Left and Right are the greatest shower stimulating the general depression that abounds.
    Keep smiling. Tomorrows another day for hope

  154. 154
    whingewhingewhinge says:

    good.
    All the crap about it being a bad thing that the £ strengthens ..nonsense, the cheaper everywhere else is to go to, the better. Get the fuck out of this miserable hole.

  155. 155
    Abandon Ship says:

    If Ed Miliband is the future, then there is no hope.

  156. 156
    Frau Merkel says:

    They want their Kuchen and they want to eat it.

    No chance.

  157. 157
    Barry O'Bummer says:

    I like Dave Camelbum over the pod there believe in bumsex marriage for all, and from now on I too shall be supporting all bummers in their goal to be bummed in sickness and in health until death do them part.

  158. 158
    Anonymous says:

    Wet weather is making my allotment productive and my garden look beautiful. I wouldn’t live anywhere else.

  159. 159
    Barry O'Bummer says:

    I think your seeing this the wrong way, the Greeks are take all they can before defaulting and leaving the Euro. In truth the Greeks are the ones fucking over Germany et al.

  160. 160
    Terrytory says:

    Andy C. was chairman of Felling UDC, a centre of corruption on Tyneside.
    It was so bad that the police cars were equipped with roof racks.

  161. 161
    Who why what where when says:

    How many meetings and phone calls did Blair,Brown and Campbell have with NI hacks and executives during the previous 15 years?

  162. 162
    Well done Liz says:

    Lets face it the Queen would never ask her government to bring about homosexual marriage.

    Her top job is defender of the faith, Dave comes second.

  163. 163
    Barry O'Bummer says:

    Who fucking cares that the sky is falling in BUMSEX marriage is the future!

  164. 164
    facts of life says:

    Seems to me that the only sensible countries in the EUSSR are Great Britain and Deutschland, the rest are just a bunch of parasitic commies.

  165. 165
    nellnewman says:

    Monsieur hollande wishes to spend france into perfidy a la gordon. Should we mind?

    Probably not.

  166. 166
    screw the lot of them says:

    The heat is on Cameron at the moment, though I do hope previous c’unts get the same treatment.

  167. 167
    The hand that feeds you says:

    But the German taxpayers do have a rather valid point. As they are subsidising Greek lefties why are Greek lefties burning German flags?

  168. 168
    nellnewman says:

    gordon tonight is lecturing rich arabs in abu dhabi, whilst staying in 6star accommodation and fed on caviar and champagne, on how to spend themselves out of debt.

    How ironic when they have never known debt in their lives, live off barrels of oil, the diamond market and high priced property development in London.

    gordon is a joke!

  169. 169
    Ok, so Cameron is nearly or more crap as Blair, give or take a scandal or two says:

    A good old fashioned tu quoque point there.

    Is there no end to the originality of the defenders of dishonest politicians?

  170. 170
    make mine the Beano says:

    Business contacts, family and friends will always be a problem, especially where occasionally the two overlap and the troubled / complicated relationship necessitates a temporary or permanent divorce.
    Difficult to be a high flyer hoping to avoid all contact without stepping on somebody’s toes yet in general life where similar contacts occur we are all not subjected to a rabid press attempting to make mountains out of molehills.
    Do not envy Dave who has problems keeping both his enemies and friends closer than many newspapers would prefer. Personally I think it’s a load of crap, but then sh*t sells copy and newspapers will forever find some trivia, source or dreamed up half truths to introduce innuendo and mistrust where possible.

  171. 171
    Ah! Monika says:

    I strive
    You strive
    He / she strives

    MP’s don’t

    End of.

  172. 172

    URGENT SYSTEMS MESSAGE.

    Microsoft Windows has updates ready for you to install so remember to update your computer soon or MI6 won’t be happy.

    Taty bye!

  173. 173
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Wars1 making a fuckwit of herself on Newsnight once again, no wonder the BBC like having her on.

  174. 174
    Vorsprung durch Technocrats says:

    Because the Greeks don’t actually like the Germans?

  175. 175
    beached says:

    Mine too, though parsnips here are proving a problem. Any Ideas?
    Will keep my fingers crossed for you should the hoespipe ban remain in place when the weather improves

  176. 176
    WANKELT says:

  177. 177
    Queen Kalaedoscope I says:

    Soho is worth a mass.

  178. 178
    Who why what where when says:

    I’ve no interest in defending anyone,but genuinely want to know exactly how many meetings there were between NI and the previous administration. Why would that be a problem?

  179. 179
    BBC says:

    She enriches our political narrative.

  180. 180
    Ah! Monika says:

    If you can’t stand the heat

    Get out of the ………..Euro

  181. 181
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Newsnight wanking on again about the pay of bosses, I wonder what the ratio of pay of so called BBC ‘talent’ to the average worker is these days compared to say 20 years ago.

  182. 182
    Mwa ha ha ha ha says:

    Not if they buy things from us, but the French are notoriously averse to buying British. Maybe best t wait till their property prices have collapsed even further and buy up their land just before they abandon the ever-dropping Euro.

  183. 183
    BBC says:

    Egalitarianism is for everyone else.

  184. 184
    WVM says:

    Oh that long hand of history is a right bitch.

  185. 185
    ffs! says:

    She really gets on my tits.

  186. 186
    Anonymous says:

    Jesus H Christ – these fucking Tories just get worse. They’re just deciding what to do based on Tony Blair’s old To Do list.

    Someone, anyone, please just rid us of these useless fooks!! Time for all those noncing Northerners to put down our underage girls and start getting all jihadi on our MP’s.

  187. 187
    Ah! Monika says:

    QUESTION OF THE NIGHT

    Should water-boarding be allowed during a hosepipe ban?

  188. 188
    Some histories are more recent than others says:

    That’s my beach towel, I put it on that sun lounger first

  189. 189
    A Rottenschill says:
    
    
                                                                     Whoops ! Apocalypse. 
    
  190. 190
    say what you see says:

    Europa Wankelt (falters) – excellent!

  191. 191
    WVM says:

    For the BBC beeboids and the political classes yes indeed it should be allowed regardless, it’s the right thing to do.

  192. 192
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Yes – we have been.

  193. 193
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Her naval base was full of discharged seamen.

  194. 194
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Only if you experience regular anal fisting.

  195. 195
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Who at the BBC should be waterboarded first?

  196. 196
    Call time on Cameron says:

    Cameron’s turned out to be rather crap hasn’t he? Initially I was just happy that Brown was gone and I was able to forgive the occasional misstep precisely because he’s not Brown. And whilst Nokia Breath still remains the worst pm in living memory, that’s not enough to overlook the ever growing list of fuckups by this coalition led by Cast Iron Dave. In short, the Tories need to get their arse in gear and remove Dave and elect a leader who will destroy Labour.

  197. 197
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    A nice bottle of Campo Vieja Rioja Reserva would do me!

  198. 198
    Gao'uldman-Sucks Olympics sub-committee says:

    Due to the on-going drought the Olympic diving events have been transferred to a new venue :

    http://tinyurl.com/6ywyk3d

  199. 199
    Time to toss the toff says:

    Let’s face it, the only reason Dave got into no. 10 was because he’s not Gordon.

  200. 200
    Joss Askin says:

    miss? massage? holy mass?

  201. 201
    Deflated says:

    The people who said Dave would turn out to be a Tory once elected should hang their heads in shame.

  202. 202
    Time to toss the toff says:

    You must have run into these guys :

    http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/the-daily-cartoon-760940.html

  203. 203
    Waffen-SS says:

    I think you will find the feeling is mutual

  204. 204
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    It was always obvious that anyone calling themselves ‘heir to Blair’ would be a catastrophe.

    That, and his ‘cast iron guarantee’ falling apart before 2010, made me decide to not bother voting in the GE. I’m glad I didn’t waste my time.

  205. 205
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    I’m inclined to say Jeremy Vine, because he’s a nasally annoying little nasally gobshite. But here’s apparently some socialist moron on Radio 5 who gets ripped to bits frequently, forever praising Labour. So I guess he should get ‘boarded’ first.

  206. 206
    Deport all ragheads says:

    I hope every one of those raghead rapists gets a taste of their own medicine in prison.

    “No! No! Do not enter my bottom! It is most unholy! No! Do not suck my islamic todger! Bring me a 9 year old, just like my prophet had! Raping white infidel bitches is most holy and pleases allah!”

  207. 207
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    Drought, dictionary definition: “a long period of dry weather when there is not enough water for plants and animals to live.”

    Since Camoron and his Tosspot Faux-Tory Party declared a drought, our garden’s been flooded and we’ve got got otters rummaging around in the borders.

    Way to go Camoron. Fucking imbecile.

  208. 208
    Names can be a dead giveaway says:

    Guess where Dave stayed when he went to visit President Omaha – Blair House, of course :

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2114508/Camerons-U-S-tour-Obama-lays-rules-game-wouldnt-basketball-Eton.html

    The above includes : The couple went on to Blair House, the official U.S. residence for visiting dignitaries, where they were greeted by White House assistant chief of protocol Randy Bumgardner. Figures !

  209. 209
    Names can be a dead giveaway says:

    And then there’s Blairmore House :

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/20/david-cameron-jersey-panama-geneva

  210. 210
    Call time on Cameron says:

    If Cameron was to hold an EU referendum, stop immigration from muslim countries, ban union pilgrims, and end billions in aid to the likes of india and p a kistan, he’d win by a landslide. But he won’t. His allies say it’s because he’s hamstrung by being in a coalition. In that case end the coalition and hold a snap election on the sort of platform from which ukip’s been gaining popularity. Otherwise we’re likely to get a Labour government in 2015, at which point you might as well rename the country United Kingdom RIP.

  211. 211
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    The police and CPS refused to act out of “politically correct fear of being branded ra*cists”.

    I’m waiting for those in the police and CPS to be dismissed on the spot without possibility of compensation.

    But what’s the betting we get a statement to the effect of “lessons have been learned” and it all gets brushed under the carpet. Except it won’t be, because WE will remember, even if the State gets collective PC amnesia.

  212. 212
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    (4th attempt to avoid the m*db* ot)

    The po*lice and C*PS refused to act out of “poli*tically corre*ct fear of being bra*nded ra*ci*sts”.

    I’m waiting for those in the po*lice and C*PS to be dismissed on the spot without possibility of comp*ensation.

    But what’s the betting we get a statement to the effect of “lessons have been lea*rned” and it all gets brushed under the carpet. Except it won’t be, because WE will remember, even if the State gets collective PC amnesia.

  213. 213
    Tory Party RIP - Killed by Camoron says:

    +1

  214. 214
    Time to toss the toff says:

    If he did those things, yes, but he’s shown no inclination to do anything of the sort, and that’s got nothing to do with the coalition. If he’d wanted to break free of the coalition the time to do it was December last year when he briefly created the illusion that he was on our side against the EUSSR. Dave had his chance but now he’s blown it forever. So I agree, the Tories had better get their act together pretty darned soon and ditch him, otherwise their party is doomed.

  215. 215
    Deport all ragheads says:

    Third attempt!

    Has Judge Clifton been smeàred as a ràcist yet by the leftie brigade? He should be lauded for daring to talk about the elephant in the room, that of muzee perverts targeting whìte english girls. Can you imagine the reaction from the likes of Yàsmin Alibaba Brown if it had been whìte men targeting muslìm girls? She’d be foaming at the mouth and calling for all english men to be imprisoned. But true to form she’s been dribbling her usual guff in The Independent telling us we shouldn’t turn this into a ràce issue and shouldn’t generalise about muslìms. Fuck off, Yasgrim.

  216. 216
    Circumstrated says:

    Now there are two dick in hand busy – Cameroon n Fawksie

  217. 217
    Deport all ragheads says:

    Those who can should start planning to emigrate. Not just because of the risk of a Labour govt in 2015 but because whichever party’s in power this country is now seemingly on an irreversible slide towards muslìm domination. It’s not a tinfoil type theory. Just ask the Is rael is who see first hand the rate at which arabs have children. Islàm is about world domination, it’s in the terrorist handbook they call the koran, and muslìms see it as their duty to have more children than everyone else.

    We’ve already given up so much to muslìms. Allowing hàlal meat to be sold in supermarkets, govt funded muslìm schools, and the sort of political correctness that let 9 foul perverts rape up to 50 girls.

    Forget it. This country is fucked. To our eternal shame we stood by and let poisonous bile be hurled at Is ra el, not realising that the very existence of Is ra el is central to the global fight against islamìc terror and domination. As long as the Je wish state exists, muslìms cannot hope to achieve their goals. Not for nothing are most muslìms virulently anti semitic.

  218. 218
    Shredder says:

    Excellent question.

  219. 219
    Is there anyone as lazy as Eric Pickles says:

    The fact is he doesn’t do anything like that because he doesn’t want to. You voted for a social democrat. Get over it.

  220. 220
    Stavros says:

    Hello matey pepes.
    I sold all of the kebabs and all of the shop and moved back to my native papalokoloiponiouuulus.

    Its lovely innit. my neighbour, the postman, he got a Posche Cayenne for a postvan.. So I says, like , I’ll get one for me. And one for the wife. And one for all of the kids. Even little baby Stavros, he got a BMW X5..just for sleepin’ in, innit?

    So..as we is all retired at forty, we need some extra cash to get by now we is doing nuffink but playing the golf and drinking champagne uzos. . Can we ‘av some more euros please Mr Dave? We going to pay it all back, as soon as we have got back on our feet.

  221. 221
    anony says:

    why dont you fuck off you racist twat

  222. 222
    William Shakesp*ar says:

    Tell me about it.

  223. 223
    reality bites says:

    why dont you fuck off you traitorous twat

  224. 224
    Agreed says:

    .

  225. 225
    albacore says:

    Well, bless his cute little cotton socks
    Vaz worries about Pandora’s box
    We really mustn’t draw attention
    To things polite folks just can’t mention
    Racism runs only one way, it seems
    British justice and fair play? In your dreams!

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-17996245

  226. 226
    futtyfann says:

    Did you ever play for Whiteburn Rangers?

  227. 227
    futtyfann says:

    “I’d of..”. No wonder you listen to the BBC.

  228. 228
    Rat's arse says:

    Is that you Silent Bob? I miss him, as he always hit the n.a.i.l. on the h.e..a.d.

  229. 229
    Rat's arse says:

    +100.

  230. 230
    I fucking hate the bbc says:

    Should solve population growth as any sane solvent person will be gone

  231. 231
    50 Calibre says:

    Only in your dreams…

  232. 232
    Gromit says:

    Talking of stars, I am getting a bit concerned about my image since somebody let that Miliband idiot out of his box…

  233. 233
    Time to toss the toff says:

    Personally, I didn’t vote for Cameron & Co, and I won’t support the so-called Conservative party while he’s at the helm. Neither will a great many other people – we have been disenfranchised by not being given a viable choice.

  234. 234
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron has effectively destroyed the Tory party for a generation, he couldnt have done a better job if he was working for Bliar and Mandy.

    In just two years he has not only made the Tories unelectable he has managed, and I am just stunned how he has managed it, but he has made a Balls milliband government not only probable but a copper bottomed certainty.

    A two year quest to get the UK electorate to hate and despise the Tory party for the next decade or longer, just two years to turn his party into a wreck and the country into a joke.

    The Queens speech was designed and written in Brussels, was it sent by courier directly from Brussels to HMQ or did the Quisling see it first?

  235. 235
    Well it's a thought says:

    Shouldn’t you tell Mick and Dick the so cartoonists on this blog about them, they could learn something about drawing cartoons, like how to.

  236. 236
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Once again the BBC operates double standards. In 2008 Barack O’Bummer stated he thought marriage was between a man and a woman, yet now he says the opposite.

    So in their excited rent boy way of reporting this story does the BBC point out his double standards? Of course not, the BBC is just naturally delighted.

    So has Barry been lying for the last 4 years?

  237. 237
    Back door job says:

    Difficult to find many suitable candidates.

    Not surprising given that Dave – in order to detoxify the brand – has stuffed the parliamentary party full of bummers, brain dead tarts and a sprinkling of F nicks.

  238. 238
    Anonymous says:

    +10 !

  239. 239
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    There is something very, very odd, regarding this phoney drought.

    Normally, when resevoirs are low, they are topped up by pumping riverwater into them. Now, when there is a re@l drought, river levels drop and so pumping is not allowed, causing shortages.
    Since the start of this “drought” and hosepipe ban, rivers have been running at very high levels and some even flooding.
    So why have water companies not been pumping river water to resevoirs as usual and just relying on rainfall, when there is no restriction on the amount they can extract from full rivers?

    Something stinks to high he@ven here.

  240. 240
    Tiger says:

    This weeks column was absolutely appalling.

  241. 241
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    With all the great political stories threatening theEU and the Euro zone the best you can come up with is That some rubber rubber faced bloke with a flat nose read a piece of Sunday arse wipe

  242. 242
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Er, since when did a so called religion transform itself into a race? Perhaps your brainwashing education has left you a little confused?

  243. 243
    Ohama Beach says:

    I like my buddy Dave support Gay marriage.

    Soon a UK man will be able to marry a US man and this will form a tighter bond between our once great nations.

    Have a great day

    Sent from my Crapberry

  244. 244
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    He’s working under instruction of the EU for that long awaited “Big Pay Day” They promised him and Osbourne

  245. 245
    Dump the Dipstick! says:

    .

  246. 246
    smoggie says:

    I suppose they were in debt because the business has failed. Who sends cards these days when a tweet or text will suffice? You’ll be blaming the banks for the demise of the candle-making industry next.

  247. 247
    Lewis Carroll says:

    Barry’s been taking lessons from Humpty Dumpty.

  248. 248
    David Laws Lib Dem Fiddler says:

    Perhaps their welfare claims could be limited to £26,000 if the Lie Dumbs agree??

    Six more quangos introduced in yesterdays speech- I thought Cameron was having some sort of bonfire?? He has created more quangos than he has got rid of. Carsewell was correct the civil service is running the leftie show.

  249. 249
  250. 250
    smoggie says:

    Yes, if they use rainwater from a storage tank. Should also consider using some sort of cloth made from sustainable resources to cover the face (hemp or suchlike); there is no reason why enhanced interrogation methods shouldn’t be green.

  251. 251
    Gonk says:

    At first glance I thought the headline said ” Miliband is a feeder ”
    Gross thoughts about the nasal one force feeding piggy Prescott,
    pies, oats, gravy, raw eggs, that sort of thing.

  252. 252
    The Golem says:

    The pair of them certainly aren’t working for us.

  253. 253
    Gonk says:

    I too am equally stunned at the speed and thoroughness of his incompetence.
    It takes a bit of skill to make such a hash of things, so quickly.
    Brown appeared ill, vindictive and dangerous. Cameron is… well sort of like
    a nothing, a shell.

  254. 254
    Lou Scannon says:

    That was 2005 so it was every dictator’s friend Ken Livingscum. Not the only example of him frigging with the lights either.

  255. 255

    Might be of interest that John McTernan, unflushed shit in the toilet of socialism, has taken on a local radio identity – Ross Greenwood on 2GB in Sydney – and got served up like a dog’s dinner.

    Greenwood is a highly experienced and extremely fair financial commentator who has identified some of the gross lies in the recent socialist regime budget in Australia.

    As a result he was treated to a 12 minute diatribe by the scots git, after which Greenwood has gone back on air tonight, exposed the whole con the government is running on superannuation for its cabinet fat cats, and tipped a well mannered but devastating load all over McTernan.

    And this is but the beginning of what will be a splenetic coordinated attack.

  256. 256
    Martin says:

    Good performance by Ed M yesterday – he’s perhaps doing better with a following wind.

    Why is no one pointing out (Dennis Skinner) that the first leg of the double-dip recession (three years between legs, give me a break!) occurred during and was the result of the previous Labour government.

    Listening to the Beast of Bolsover and media commentators, you would think the posh boys were responsible for it all!

  257. 257
    Cradley Heath Graphite Sandwich says:

    i think y’know, what i would say is that what happened was, was that you know, the important thing is, is that people want to know, is ordinary people want to know, is, that was, this is completely unacceptable, and i, i, i, think that y’know, we made it very clear at the time because that was, y’know, er, this, was, the question was, the question was, y’know, were we doing the right thing, yes, and that was, y’know, because what, what, what we said was, was that y’know, we, are, basically liars, and when we, y’know, we said that that’s what’s important, it’s important that we, y’know, think that that’s exactly what it was, y’know, totally unacceptable


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