May 8th, 2012

LibDem Chief-Whip Has “Ickle-Little Bit Too Much to Drink”

Over the weekend Guido couldn’t help but spit out his Sunday lunchtime Rioja when John Bercow popped up on Murnaghan to claim he’d put an end to subsidised booze in the Commons bars. The Speaker insisted it was no longer a case that there was a “heavy subsidy”, even though House figures show the taxpayer has coughed up some £5 million to quench MPs’ thirsts this year alone. Bercow’s definition of what constitutes a heavy subsidy may differ from the rest of us

The Speaker went on to criticise the Westminster culture of booze, even having the nerve to suggest that some MPs might be better off cutting down on their drinking. His advice certainly wasn’t taken by Labour’s Emma Reynolds and her team at Francois Hollande’s victory party in Paris. Guido has it on good authority that, in true socialist fashion, the champagne was flowing freely. It’s just a shame Emma’s boss, wee Dougie Alexander, wasn’t there to join in the festivities…

Whilst on this occasion the French seemed to manage to handle their drink, the same cannot be said for the LibDem chief-whip Alistair Carmichael. The Scot had one too many glasses of red on the evening, and then made the fatal mistake of sharing the news on Facebook:

Scottish LibDems are joking that never before has one of their MPs seemed less out of touch…


  1. 1
    Gordon Brown says:

    I’m first

  2. 2
  3. 3
    JC says:

    The first shall be last.

  4. 4
    David Laws don't apply to my kind says:

    I’m gay!

  5. 5
    Quisling says:

    The old dears will have better spending powers in the EU now. Although I don’t recommend they go on any rambling holidays in Greece near the Turkish border

  6. 6
    smackhead Mensch says:

    I’m high!

  7. 7
    slaphead Dave says:

    I’m Dave!

  8. 8
    Cunt watch says:

    Bercow needs to resign for lying to taxpayers other day!

  9. 9
    Tim Osman, CIA asset says:

    Im dead! Since 2001!

  10. 10
    Eric Pickles says:

    There is nothing wrong with MP’s having a tax payer funded libation day in day out. It makes it easier for me to do fuck all

  11. 11
    Bercow says:

    Sorry I have no recollection of said event. Was I pissed?

  12. 12
    Old Curmudgeon says:

    How curious that the public has to pay over the odds to reduce consumption (petrol, alcohol,tobacco) whilst MPs paying less achieves the same outcome.

  13. 13
    jgm2 says:

    Hard to get too exercised about that. Did he punch somebody?

    MP gets pissed at the weekend. Doesn’t swear at the world on Twitter, doesn’t assault anybody. Perhaps that’s what’s unusual.

  14. 14
    Eric Pickles says:

    Although to be fair I did allow council boxtickers to pray while being paid to do work

  15. 15
    tommy5d says:

    Errm… I think Alistair Carmichael’s posts are meant to be sarcastic. Unfortunately, that means to have gone right over Guido’s head.

  16. 16
    Alister says:

    a LibDem with problems due to drink? Nope not going to happen ever, is it. BTW anyone seen the MP for Ross Skye and Lochaber (Charles Kennedy)

  17. 17
    Popeye says:

    A worthy disciple of an ex-Lib leader, yes, take a bow Charlie Kennedy.

  18. 18
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Over-tired and emotional as a newt.

    Ah, CK, the man whose sobriety problems didn’t appear to worry the mongs in the media and the lobby who thought that he was a man of high principle to the extent they kept it quiet?

  19. 19
    Karl Schennedy says:

    Thatsh my boy !

  20. 20
    annette curton says:

    A load of pissheads taking the piss again.

  21. 21
    Nom Dom Nom says:

    So lets see ….

    £5m subsidy and lets say for a full fiscal year (although Gwido does say so far this year)

    650 troughers MP’s

    That’s £7692.31 per MP per annum

    I struggle to work out how much that is per MP per day as I am not sure how many days they ‘should’ turn up (lots of holidays), and of course some just don’t turn up at all (Gordon you know who that is don’t you?)

  22. 22
    Disgruntled Sheffielder says:

    Ros Altmann would say that wouldn’t she so they’ve more to spend on her crappy cruises.

  23. 23
    A Pretentious Prick Posing as PM says:

    I say chaps!!!!! My jolly chum Joules says people think we’re not in touch!!

    Well’s that’s bally well not right! – why only last week I gave my pal Cholmondeley- Cholmondeley-Qwiqsayfe dinner at my Club and he invited me up to his estates for a spot of grouse shooting in August! Watt? Wattage?? Watter??

  24. 24
    Gordon Brown also says:

    I was in line to be boss of the IMF!

  25. 25
    annette curton says:

    That’s over £200 per week for each MP just in the subsidised element of the booze, £10,000 a year, Rab.C. Nesbitt would be proud of managing to quaff that much.

  26. 26
    Rat's arse says:

    You’re right jgm2. He’s just a daft barsteward. Wonder though how much he’d have drank if he’d had to pay full price for his booze?

  27. 27

    I’m free! (To appear in my crispy shreddies)

  28. 28
    annette curton says:

    When sitting, and lets face it they wouldn’t be capable of standing.

  29. 29
    Rat's arse says:

    Your are right jgm2. Bet he wouldn’t have dr.ank as much if he’d had to p.ay full for his booze.

    ** been modded for typing p.r.i.c.e correctly. Feckin Fatbutt!

  30. 30
    Eric Joyce MP says:

    I’ll…hick!…drink to that.

  31. 31
    Tony the SpecialOne says:

    In your dreams PMSL

    I just made you think you were

  32. 32
    Eric Joyce MP says:

    In fact everyone should drink to that!

    err….just stick it on my tab barlord.

  33. 33
    Lord Leveson says:

  34. 34

    A Scot at a free party not pissed? Don’t be ridiculous!

  35. 35
    Lizzie says:

    The heir to Kennedy?

  36. 36

    At £200.00 a bottle. that’s not so much.

  37. 37

    Is that Gordon’s chin (and tonic love, ice and a slice. AND A SLICE YOU DEAF B.TCH! WHERE”S MY F.CKING PHONE I”LL F.CKING TEACH YOU….)

  38. 38
    Raving Loon says:

    If we assume a “normal” working year of 252 days (which they wouldn’t do by a long shot but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt) the it’s still over £30/day. That’s not a bad sesh most Fridays, let alone every day.

  39. 39

    Mate of mine sha.gged that Katie Pri.ce the other day. It turns out that A) she isn’t anywhere near as baggy in “that” area as you would think, and B) Madame Tussauds’ security have NO sense of humour.

  40. 40
    Wellard says:


    Clutching at straws on this one Guido.

  41. 41
    Circumstrated says:

    Clearly the ones to vote for are the ones who get pissed first so they bash the others present and cannot vote in the house enough to damage the country as they are too pissed to know that a vote is even happening; bye me an udder!

  42. 42
    WVM says:

    Time to think about getting that holiday cash in, the pound is hovering close to a 3½ year high against the euro today. :)

  43. 43
    jgm2 says:

    The heir of the dog to Kennedy?

  44. 44
    Errrrrr....... says:

    Guido joins forces with Galloway. Who’d have thunk it.

  45. 45
    jgm2 says:

    It’ll be even higher by July/August. The French pissing away even more money they don’t have can only have one effect on the Euro.

  46. 46
    Magreb says:

    Alcohol is haram.

    George Galloway MP will stop this misuse of the Muslim taxes.

    Maybe we need an autonomous region in the UK – it cannot be right that we have unbelievers using our taxes like this.

    George Galloway MP will change this – inshallah.

  47. 47
    National Socialist says:

    Cameron, Eurocrats, The Greedy Rich just do not get it – the game’s up my friends and if you think that you the working class who now have to pay more and more tax and take pay cuts to boot will just lie down and take it you are mistaken your play house is about to be burnt down. and about time too

  48. 48
    Rinka Scott says:

    I had two shots and look where it got me.

  49. 49
    Rear View Mirror says:

    You know what, that Margaret Thatcher was right when she said “the problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other people’s money”.
    Europe has run out of other people’s money and can’t handle the truth.

  50. 50
    A bored wife says:

  51. 51
    Nicky G says:

    Vote B&P!

  52. 52
    WVM says:

    Go rioting Sarah and feel the enrichment.

  53. 53
    Mass Debate scandal says:

    The Mexican presidential TV debate has caused a massive controversy. Not between the candidates but because viewers complained they were distracted by a production assistant, former glamour model Julia Orayen, who was seen wearing a very revealing dress. Any chance she could work on the UK debates in 2015?

  54. 54
    eh? says:

    So what, really, so what?

  55. 55
    Ed Miliband says:

  56. 56
    Phwoooooooor says:

    Those Hispanic women have voluptuous arses and so much width.

  57. 57
    Eric Joyce loses temper at Pizza Hut says:

    There’s too many fucking pizzas in here!

  58. 58
    Some Geezer wot's teetotal himself but not a bloody prat about it says:

    George Galloway should be feeling very smug and self-righteous long about now, having Our Gal Sal’s hubby (cuckold?) in his corner publicly supporting his position, if not him personally, with that lay-off-the-Demon-Rum exhortation. But you’re right, Guido; if those idiots want to get half seas over, let them pay full-pryce for the privilege! (Not to cast aspersions at the Scots with a well-known stereotype, but one suspects Mr Carmichael’s consumption might be somewhat less if he would have to pay the going rate to quench his thirst– as it would for English, Welsh and Irish MP’s as well!)

  59. 59
    Dial M for Money grubbing says:

    The public pay the MPs don’t.

  60. 60
    BoJo says:

    I have a need for a SpAd

  61. 61
    The Ummah says:

    Well said.
    Why should the public have the fund this haram behaviour out of our benefits

  62. 62
    jgm2 says:

    Yeah. Lose the return portion of your ticket.

  63. 63
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    BBC Daily Politics. Now I understand why socialist are mad. Labour tosser says that you borrow money to create growth, then pay back the borrowing with the proceeds of growth.

    So if you borrow 20 billion and you get 5 billion in growth (because governments always waste most of what they borrow) you pay back the 20 billion with what exactly? The 5 billion in growth? So you’re 15 billion out of pocket, not to mention the interest you’ve just been charged as well.

    No wonder Labour fucked our economy.

    Also a hoot is the sexy French bird who admits the French in London all voted for the leftists in France, so will there now be a mass exodus back to France then from London?

    Um I think we know the answer to that one!!!

  64. 64
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Fucking hell and all we get is Emily Titless or Kirsty Wark off Newsnight.

  65. 65
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The modding is getting beyond a joke.

  66. 66
    Dave (vote for me) Camoron says:

    Remember, austerity is for life, not just for Xmas!

    Isn’t that right Nick?

  67. 67
    Pawn Sandwich says:

    How about dropping hubby off at the HoC.

  68. 68
    Casius Clay says:

    Be sure to leave Gordon brooding in his Scotch shed.

  69. 69
    Charles Kennedy says:

    We’re all in it together…the round that is!

    Whose round is it again?

  70. 70
    Durr... says:

    That is really quite funny.

  71. 71
    Bodie Clark says:

    If only you were in the immigration hall at Heathrow T3 ;o)

  72. 72
    Robert Peston's peyote supplier says:

    Mephedrone for you and the kids; Rohypnol for the old man. Try leaving him on a park bench for added hilarity.

  73. 73
    Daili Parton says:

    Could you try English, dear?

  74. 74
    Jimmy says:

    You’re getting terribly puritanical in your old age.

  75. 75
    Helpful GP says:

    You don’t honestly think that New Labour and Bliar were real socialists, do you?

    You’ll be telling me next that that Francoise Hollande is a socialist too.

    Try to calm down a bit dear, remember 45 to 55 is peak heart attack country!

  76. 76
    my most boring post EVER ! says:

    yeah, what’s wrong with creating the money first?

  77. 77
    Only the chosen ones are allowed to present NN says:

    Surely you mean Kirsty Sqwark?

  78. 78
    Jimmy The Cripple says:

    The BBC is so lame I am surprised they don’t have their own team in the paralympics. They can bore for Britain. We should just switch off when they start reporting their left wing tripe. Ratings is all they care about! Switch off!

  79. 79

    But he hasn’t punched anybody.

  80. 80
    Circumstrated says:

    You don’t understand the economics – here it is easy for you:
    That Biggest Moon Night of the year – beautiful
    Try and piss over it
    When your front and legs all get wet you should get a message
    Still don’t understand?
    Take up Politics you are over qualified

  81. 81
    Anonymous says:

    Well down Bercow if he’s cancelled our £5 million bill for MP’s drinking. You deserve a knighthood sir.

  82. 82

    I think you’ll find it was MFI. And looking at where that went – I did!

  83. 83
    Eric Pickles Conscience says:

    I am aware that I promised to do something about corrupt, overpaid, incompetent and inept Local Government and their corrupt Regulator:

    but I have been spending too much time in the member’s bar, sorry.

  84. 84

    I had three and a splash.

  85. 85

    So – put it out of haram’s way then, down an MP’s thirsty throat.

  86. 86
    Handycock No1 Trougher in Parliament says:

    I take exception to your comments about Local Government. If it was not for my brilliant career in politics being launched in Local Government over 40 years ago and continuing to this day, I would still be working as a fitter and turner and neither have a free villa in Spain nor be extremely rich. That Local Government is corrupt is utter tosh. Boaz.

  87. 87

    In his defence it was Sunday night and he was at an event in his constituency, not in The Commons.

  88. 88
    Stalin's Ghost says:

    I turn off every day especially on Radio 4 “news” programmes.
    Stalin would be proud of them – in fact I am.

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