May 7th, 2012

New Statesman Declining into Irrelevance

A few years ago the New Statesman withdrew from having circulation for the print edition independently audited by the industry’s Audit Bureau of Circulation. This caused a lot of raised eyebrows in the trade. Guido has managed to get his hands on the newsstand sales figures for the two years up until March this year. The numbers are dire.

The data above says it all, the sales decline has continued, some weeks the New Statesman sells less than 4,000 copies. By way of comparison Guido’s blog usually has 4,000 readers a day before the Today show has a finished in the morning. This figure does not include subscribers, Guido suspects that may not even number into five figures.

Online nothing has changed since 2009, Guido still has comfortably more online readers than the Staggers. Incidentally tracking data suggests that a fair number of Staggers readers are Guido readers, this site is the ninth most visited site by Staggers readers – despite the magazine’s policy of not linking to this site.

The relative decline of the Staggers versus the Speccie suggests that it is not just because the printed magazine business is in trouble. The Speccie has a paywall yet still has more online visitors than the Staggers, the Speccie sells an online edition, the Statesman does not.

The problems at the magazine are manifold, readers are increasingly unwilling to pay for comment unless it done with panache, yet they got rid of the flamboyant Dan Hodges. There is a distinct lack of news in the magazine, Labour HQ has just experienced a near mutiny, something that would be of great interest to the natural readership of the Staggers and would in the past have been covered in forensic detail. Nothing appeared in the magazine. The only “news” in the magazine that you have not read elsewhere is usually found in Kevin Maguire’s gossip diary.


413 Comments

  1. 1
    Reader says:

    Never read it or really heard of it!

    • 6
      A Doctor says:

      Perhaps they need to get help and stop taking their Medhi for the Hasan

      • 10
        Gotcha! says:

        The former Iman is a right little twerp…..

        • 18

          This left wing apathy is why Dave seeks to return as the King of Middle Turf

          • Anonymous says:

            Hahahahahahahaha, this confirms it, socialists really are fuckwits. Why don’t they go cap in hand to the Guardian for some of their subsidy money?

          • Andrew says:

            Maybe it is Kevin Maguire’s column that makes The Newstatesman such a turnoff.

          • A friend of Dorothy says:

            “the flamboyant Dan Hodges” – are you suggesting something?

          • Sack Vichy Dave - Elect a Tory says:

            The Staggers made a very simple but quite possibly fatal mistake: it became boring, uncontroversial and very, very dull.

          • Ivor Tapeworm says:

            The graph shows that:

            1) an arbitrary ill-fitting line has been drawn through the circulation figures (which do not show any clear overall trend); and

            2) over the period shown by the graph, from late 2009 (beginning of the graph) to early 2012 (end of the graph) the circulation rose by about 10%.

            BTW have you got a graph for the Star on Sunday’s circulation over the past 6 months?

          • PAR-LIAR=MENT says:

            I used to get the FT. Till I read the piece about how the economic collapse has everything to do with everything except the WAR. The protection rackateering State apparatus. Its then I realised it had become a comic like all the other comics that NEWS International have scripted and paid for by the Industrial War complex that has bankrupt the WEST

          • Anonymous says:

            Yes Ivor, I recreated the graph in Excel and asked for a trend line, like you say Guido’s was slightly self-serving.

          • Anonymous says:

            Regardless of whether you draw a graph, a pentogram or a fucking elephant, 4000 readers is fucking dire.

          • dire says:

            Ooooh! My arse is sore…

    • 7
      Expat Geordie says:

      And I’ve certainly never bought it.

    • 16
      Blow Their Houses Down says:

      Like the Guardian’s recent and pathetic ad campaign…..the left wing dead tree press is falling away like a huff n puff in the wind…..

      • 52
        with one bound into the trough and they were free says:

        Time for any good socialist to work out how to blag some public money to keep it going methinks.

      • 389
        UKIPMAN says:

        Socialists don’t need dead tree press when they have dead wank media, i.e the BBC.

    • 20
      Ah! Monika says:

      Shouldn’t this be tagged Tottering Watch?

    • 60
      Arsenal fucked? says:
      • 91
        jgm2 says:

        I bet Arsene won’t be relocating there to pay 75% tax on the squillions Arsenal are paying him.

      • 329
        Funambulist says:

        Was the Human BillBoard’s political campaign funded by the Emir-rats and other Ahabs?

    • 191
      Bloke says:

      The ‘New’ ‘Statesman’. ROFLMFAO.

    • 243
      AC1 says:

      Put tits in it* and double sales!

      *Real ones, not marxists.

    • 300
      Anonymous says:

      Dan Hodges? Mmm, isn’t he that Blairite twat, who now blogs on the DT and was last seen hugging members of Bojo’s team after they won last week?

      Wonder what his connection with neoguido is?

    • 367
      Occam's Razor says:

      The NS is or was one of the great ‘little magazines’ – I started reading it in early 1970′s heyday when the writers were C Hitchens, M Amis, J Fenton, et al. The articles and book reviews were an education in themselves. Its demise, if it is a demise, should not be celebrated by GF – a plural society needs a plural press.

  2. 2
    Polythesis says:

    Dan Hodges, the only socialist I have any interest in listening to at all. Why not give a job Master Fawkes?

  3. 3
    Tom Tomos says:

    It was only ever worth reading for the weekend competition. I suppose people just got fed up with endless clerihews.

    • 49
      typical guido reader says:

      Wots a clerihews?

      • 234
        Cheese Lover says:

        Remembered from an edition from my 1950s school mag:

        Most boys can write a poem,
        If you show ‘em,
        But a clerihew,
        Verifew.

        I think the writer went on to be Head of Haberdashers’ Aske’s.

        • 338
          Peter says:

          Which Askes was that?
          I went to the New Cross version – like many of my school friends, passed the 11 plus, no money in the background, lots of family luck because my parents respected education and encouraged me to read.
          And, later I worked at the New Statesman, felt good working with intelligent, educated, entertaining people like Tony Howard, Claire Tomalin, James Fenton, Christopher Hitchens, Martin Amis, Liz Thomas (oh lucky man Michael Foot!), Alan Watkins, Paul Johnson and many more

          • the advanced stages of CiF says:

            All writers of some stature and integrity, and who as such would never work under an arrant islamist cornerboy like Medhi Hasan.

    • 170
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Our dear Guido Fawkes,
      At verse contests balks.
      “Captions!”, he grins.
      (Though nobody wins.)

      • 244
        AC1 says:

        Off with the prizes he walks?

        • 370
          Tay King-dePisse says:

          Clerihew= a four-line piece of verse usually containing the name of a prominent person in the first or second line, usually as the rhyming word, with an A-A-B-B rhyme scheme; you’re thinking of a limerick.

          You’ve also got the proprietor’s M.O. sized up, though.

          • AC1 says:

            Well you learn something new every day.
            Limerick is definitely order-order fodder.

    • 183
      Handycock Immigrant Trafficker says:

      The demise of the New Statesman is a sad affair for us ultra left wingers. Instead right wing propaganda is allowed to flourish in rags like the Daily Express:

      http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/318555/All-migrants-to-get-a-British-pension

      What is wrong with all migrants getting a pension? We in the Liberal Democrat Party have unrestricted immigration as a policy and are in full agreement with the EU on this. In particular I am applauding this new EU policy. You can send all the immigrants to Portsmouth and my ‘boys’ will house them, and, with their votes, I will stay elected for ever, and become even richer. Boaz.

      • 245
        AC1 says:

        Gosh it’s like the whole state is there to make it easy to earn money for politically connected land-owners without working!

  4. 4
    Engineer says:

    Staggering.

  5. 5
    Anonymous says:

    And what are the overall monthly/weekly figures (page views, unique users) etc for the New Statesman website as a whole, as compared to Guido. Would be very interesting and revealing to know.

    • 127
      Marmite says:

      You really are a plonker aren’t you anonymong.

      • 182
        I hate Tesco AND the Pope says:

        He’s (she’s?) worse than that, Marmite. Anonymoron never leaves the blog, ever, and posts constantly, every single day. I’m sure someone’s paying the boring twat to sit on his arse – I think he’s a he – despite his claim to be working for the NHS on £14,000 a year. Yeah, right. It’s time Guido tried to stop his endless, compulsive drivel, which stops me many times from reading the posts. Perhaps Anonymouse is in a wheel chair and can’t move from the computer desk. Even if this is the case, it doesn’t explain the pathetic crap that pours without end from his or her keyboard. Fuck off, Anonymous – now! – and leave Order Order for those with something intelligent to say.

  6. 8

    I remember a tv programme called New Statesman, it had Vivian from the Young Ones in it, i think….

    • 37
      eagleash says:

      Comedy starring Rik Mayall as a devious & ruthless extreme right wing politician. Quite entertaining…(late 1980s)

      • 58
        labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        It’s funny how they never make a comidic character of a devious & ruthless left wing politician.

        • 80
          jgm2 says:

          I thought ‘The Thick of It’ was based on the Blair/Brown clusterfuck.

          Then there was ‘Ghostwriter’ – a film based on Blair.

        • 85
          Gotcha! says:

          That’s because too many of them from Lord Lardarse of Bulimia to Aching Jowells are too much of a public laughing stock already.

        • 86
          Jonah Watch says:

          Talking of so-called Leftoid “comedians” – has Guido noticed that whenever Izzard the Lizard appears on the Labour platform….they lose….big time.

          Is the Lizard another Jonah? I think we should be told.

        • 95
          eagleash says:

          Indeed, can’t think of one; possibly “GBH” which some claimed was based on Derek Hatton

        • 98
          eagleash says:

          Indeed. Maybe “GBH” (more of a drama really), which some claimed was based upon Derek Hatton.

        • 211
          Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

          Nothing you could create for the screen would be funnier and more farcical than the real life Labour Party.

        • 246
          AC1 says:

          Spring Time for Hitler?

        • 343
          Anonymous says:

          Ed Milliband.

          • the advanced stages of CiF says:

            Citizen Smith. It’s of some irony that the Beeb has just cancelled Robert Lindsay’s long-running sitcom ‘My Family’ for not being proletarian enough.

  7. 9
    Lefty says:

    No doubt the BBC will continue to invite their political editor onto the Politics show and Question Time, as important mainstream thinkers

  8. 11
    Le Crescent de Mornington says:

    Couldn’t care less about the Staggers.

    Just in case anyone here was under the illusion that Boris is some kind of ‘right wing’ (whatever that is) Conservative, he’s kindly put things straight:
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/borisjohnson/9249975/What-football-teaches-us-about-creating-a-thriving-jobs-market.html

    Next week – why Turkish membership of the EU is absolutely essential to our glorious multicultural city.

    Tosser.

    • 19
      Felix Hemsted says:

      What he has shown is that he is clearly more of a libertarian than many people would like. Clearly, these people fail to recognise that immigration is absolutley vital to our economy, for 2 resons:
      1)
      The do the jobs that we are ‘not worthy’ of doing

      2)
      They do the jobs that we are not able to do / do not have the education to do – why do you think so many doctors come from places like India?

      • 34

        because in India they buy their degrees then come to the UK to practice being doctors on the Brits.

        • 47
          Distraught master & commander says:

          Ah yes- but, can they make curries like we damm British, isintit

          • Alf Garnett says:

            Libertarians are nothing but free market shills. The only reason for mass immigration is to lower unit labour costs here and simultaneously increase the number of consumers….thereby facilitating bonuses all round for every lying, thieving CEO in this rotten country.

          • AC1 says:

            Don’t forget subsidised immigration also increases housing demand! Rent increases all round.

          • Michael Bates says:

            Land of hope and glory, mother of the f….

          • Windsor Davies says:

            SHUT UP!!!!

      • 43
        I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

        Our doctors go abroad where they can earn more money.

        • 101
          Its my back doctor says:

          Or stay here and become millionaires milking the NHS and playng golf

        • 128
          have white coat- will travel says:

          Not all go abroad for financial benefits- money is not everything. Some of us were fortunate enough to spot the deterioration in UK academic standards and wanted a better education for our kids equivalent to the grammar school one we had received ourselves. Similarly it was nice to hear the Queens English spoken occasionally, albeit with a foreign slant.
          And as for the remark about golf. – Fore.

          • Anonymous says:

            The only expat kids I know haven’t had a particularly better education, they’ve just made better contacts. That’s not what I’d want for my kids.

      • 90
        Thus spoke Zarathustra says:

        You forgot about the ones that just come here to claim free housing, free healthcare, free education plus a non-job in the parasite sector and/or free bennyfits, and vote for more and more socialism. All paid for by the cowering honkeys, of course.

        Where do they fit in your glibertarian analysis?

        Without massive state-sponsored welfarism, the notion open borders is merely simplistic; with it, it’s idiotic.

        • 105
          Felix Hemsted says:

          That is a problem with the welfare system, not immigration per se. Are you seriously categorising a whole bunch of hard working people just because of a very small minority?
          And as for immigrants voting in socailism, it’s worth remembering that the only people allowed to vote in a uk are UK citizens, commonwealth citizens & ROI citizens, which means people like eastern europeans cannot vote in a general election.

        • 249
          AC1 says:

          Lack of “race” riots.
          Open Borders.
          Welfare State

          Pick any two.

          • Thus spoke Zarathustra says:

            Democracy.
            Ideology.
            Stability.

            Pick any two.

          • AC1 says:

            Depends on the ideology. Think you need something else more descriptive. For instance the ideology of marxism cannot co-exist with stability or democracy.

          • Thus spoke Zarathustra says:

            Yes, I should have thought about it a bit more and … said nothing, as usual.

            I think the point was that a stable ideology cannot be democratic.

            Perhaps democracy itself is incompatible with stability in the long term, given that at least half the population would happily vote for tyranny on a promise to settle petty grievances.

          • AC1 says:

            Is democracy compatible with most things? Is it just a synonym for mob-rule?

            Most people mean constitutional democracy where there is a limit set on the role of the state (which we have forgotten much to out peril).

      • 342
        Anonymous says:

        In many cases if you have been bothered to get off your arse and travel round the world to work, your going to be motivated at the job when you get here. That doesn’t mean that all Brits are workshy idiots though, as they would like us to believe.

    • 394
      Anonymous says:

      BJ is from an immigrant Turkish family.

      Give them a hand and they take an arm.

      Time to clear out all these immigrants.

  9. 13
    screw the lot of them says:

    Who gives a fuck?

  10. 14
    Well it's a thought says:

    Didn’t know the paper existed, still won’t be worrying about buying it now or in the future.

  11. 17
    Nadine Dorries says:

    Flatulent dinosaurs caused global warming, says the New Statesman. Well, the BBC. Same thing.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/17953792

    • 30
      Ah! Monika says:

      Methane leaves the atmosphere over a twelve year lifespan. It took dinosaurs millions of years to become extinct. The fewer the dinosaurs the less methane. Eventually equilibrium would prevail.

      Next theory please.

      • 64
        Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

        There’s always someone who has to counter the warmistas with facts and logic.

      • 314
        Fox the Truth says:

        Fox News(Murdoch) admits that a greenhouse gas can cause warming and that global warming from greenhouse gas production can cause a mass extinction.

        -Dinosaurs may have farted themselves to extinction, according to a new study from British scientists.
        -The researchers calculated that the prehistoric beasts pumped out more than 520 million tons (472 million tonnes) of methane a year — enough to warm the planet and hasten their own eventual demise.
        -Until now, an asteroid strike and volcanic activity around 65 million years ago had seemed the most likely cause of their extinction.
        http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2012/05/07/dinosaurs-farted-their-way-to-extinction-british-scientists-say/
        What a load of balls. The paper
        Wilkinson DM, Nisbet EG, Ruxton GD (2012) Could methane produced by sauropod dinosaurs have helped drive Mesozoic climate warmth? Current Biology 22(9):292-293.
        actually says what the BBC says it says. Fox replace BBC in your dreams.

        “Taken together, our calculations suggest that sauropod dinosaurs could potentially have played a significant role in influencing climate through their methane emissions. Even if our 520 Tg estimate is overstated by a factor of 2, it suggests that global methane emission from Mesozoic sauropods alone was capable of sustaining an atmospheric methane mixing ratio of 1 to 2 ppm. Equally, our estimate may be understated by a similar factor, (i.e. possibly supporting 4 ppm methane). In the warm wet Mesozoic world, wetlands, forest fires, and leaking gasfields may have added around another 4 ppm methane to the air. Thus, a Mesozoic methane mixing ratio of 6–8 ppm seems very plausible.
        The Mesozoic trend to sauropod gigantism led to the evolution of immense microbial vats unequalled in modern land animals. Methane was probably important in Mesozoic greenhouse warming. Our simple proof-of-concept model suggests greenhouse warming by sauropod megaherbivores could have been significant in sustaining warm climates. Although dinosaurs are unique in the large body sizes they achieved, there may have been other occasions in the past where animal-produced methane contributed substantially to global environmental gas composition: for example, it has been speculated that the extinction of megafauna coincident with human colonisation of the Americas may be related to a reduction of atmospheric methane levels.”

        A bit simplistic but possible!

    • 31
      Engineer says:

      Splendid.

      So now all we have to do is find the dinosaurs currently causing Global Warming/Climate Change/Whatever, stuff corks up their bottoms, and the polar bears can live out their lives in pe-ace without fear of melting. Then we’ll all live happily ever after.

      • 42
        smoggie says:

        Salt water crocodiles. The only man who would have stuffed corks up such a beast’s ass has now passed away, courtesy of a fish.

      • 61
        Theory [scientifically proven] says:

        We have to get rid of all Politicians and their SpAd’s who breath out so much “Hot Air”.

        Then we get the journos who pass on the “Toxic Hot Air”.

        Hey presto! job done!

      • 69
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        BBC=Liebore=Unions=Dinosaurs

    • 319
      TWatson says:

      I’m keeping it all in. I don’t want to get killed by my own farts.

    • 327
      Caractacus says:

      The dinosaurs in that picture are the most fucked up dinosaurs I’ve ever seen. Some idiot of an artist stuck sauropod necks on TRexes.

    • 362
      Some Geezer wot thinks Lefties should LOVE dinosaurs, being so much like them says:

      Item: US businessman David Koch, bete noire/nemesis of the Obama Administration for his longtime support of Republican causes and candidates, donates an ungodly amount of money to the Smithsonian Institution to help them refurbish exhibits, including a favourite, the dinosaurs;

      Item: Dinosaurs caused global warming with their release of methane into the atmosphere (and presumably plenty of CO2 as well).

      If he’s fer it, then I’m agin’ it– and if he’s agin’ it then I’m fer it! If David Koch likes dinosaurs, there must be something evil about them! Let’s see: aaahh, we’ve got it– they were horrible polluters!

      http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/04/us-usa-smithsonian-dinosaurs-idUSBRE84303420120504

  12. 23
    nellnewman says:

    The fact that the New Statesman prefers maguire over Dan Hodges says everything. trivia over Substance.

  13. 24
    Sue Doughty says:

    “Labour HQ has just experienced a near mutiny,”
    Please elaborate on this good news?

  14. 25
    Socialist Brainwash says:

    4,000 brainwashed sheeple?

    • 41
      will says:

      most only read it to support thier views, a bit like a drunk using a lampost for support

    • 84
      jgm2 says:

      4,000 Public libraries most likely.

      • 107
        Lutterblyf says:

        300 MPs, 300 lords, 600 Spads, 5 newpapers, 2995 libraries, 98 journalism teachers, 1 journalism student and the editor’s mother

    • 406
      Sir Barrington Minge says:

      Socialism is a mental disorder. The Labour Party is the asylum

  15. 28
    Sad git says:

    Looks like penny lorry will have to do a strip and then we can all pay for her to put her rags back on.

    • 48
      I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

      I didn’t know she was so PC as to wear rags – hasn’t she heard of tampons?

    • 71
      no longer anonymous says:

      She works for the Independent now I believe.

      • 251
        AC1 says:

        Fight for left-wing freedom by working for a Russian oligarch!

        • 402
          Labour Lost to Boris because The Standard was mean to Ken says:

          It’s okay when the Russian oligarch is funding left wing propaganda. It is abuse of the freedom of the press when The Standard, funded by a Russian, goes all out to support Boris. It is also okay for the BBC to downplay Ken Livingston’s little tax difficulties.

  16. 29
    Micheal "8 houses" Meacher says:
  17. 32
    Mr 0a says:

    Has Guido been invited onto Question Time? Surely based on these numbers he should be.

    • 50
      Ah! Monika says:

      I think the “dildo” episode probably did for any chance of that. Would be like inviting Ali G on.

    • 68
      Backwoodsman says:

      Thin end of the wedge there, my son. The next thing someone will be querying why twice as many of the bbc’s chosen guests come a small circulation ( and getting smaller), paper like the graun, rather than frrom a mass circulation paper.
      It can only be because polly says people on the left are more intelligent, just nicer !

  18. 35
    Ken Livingscum says:

    Boohoo*sob*boohoo*sob*

  19. 46
    Anonymous says:

    A little homework on the correct use of the comma would make this blog so much easier to read.

  20. 51
    MeNoKozy says:

    Even the brainwashed sheeple are disillusioned with Lefty tripe or it down to a recession d-dip.

  21. 53
    B'stard says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha

  22. 55
    Rusty van Mann says:

    Correct use of the Comma : follow the dotted white line in the middle of the road – that’s what it’s there for, isn’t it, Occifer ? (Hic !)

  23. 56
    Sleepless in Kirkaldy says:

    Guido

    I am a great fan of yours, and you are great at what you do… but, from poring over graphs a lot I wasn’t sure of your trend line. On being really sad and using the graph to plug the numbers into Excel, I suggest that you are correct on a declining trend line, but it isn’t as steep as you show.

    Mrs Sleepless will be glad that I’m back to work tomorrow as I obviously don’t have enough to do at home today!

    • 348
      Anonymous says:

      Before you go back to work tomorrow change the circulation figures from 1100 to 110,000 increments. That way you will properly understand just how shit that rag is.

  24. 59
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Fucking hell, Radio 5 just played a clip of one of their mongs at the Hollande victory celebration last night, I swear the beeboid was wetting his knickers especially when her said”they’ve had to wait for ….years for a socialist president!!”

    • 63
      Steve Miliband says:

      Not the nine o’clock news:

      France has elected a new President, Mr Hollande. He narrowly beat Mr Sarkosy and is expected to introduce some new policies. And now the sports news.

      • 104
        Anonymous says:

        He’ll meet with Merkel, get his orders, tinker around the edges with some typical lefty gesture politics, and that’s it. Can we all go home now?

        • 169
          Trahison des Clercs says:

          Merkel said she will welcome the new POF with open arms_ with open jaws like a salt-water crocodile . Mm sauce hollandaise.

    • 88
      jgm2 says:

      Yeah. And the UK had to wait 18 years for one. Who then spent 13 years fucking the entire economy.

      You’d think they’d have learnt their lesson at the BBC.

      • 177
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        Socialism is a religion at the BBC just like drug taking.

        • 188
          taC eht abbaJ says:

          Drug taking with tv is good. Watching Magic Roundabout or Tiswas stoned was a perfect way to pass the time in ones youth…

  25. 66
    the other reader says:

    I assure you that you all not at all sad :- analysing graphs on a rainy bank holiday Monday is entirely normal.

  26. 67
    Anonymous says:

    The Staggers is such a boring magazine, I can’t decide whether the Staggers or the Daily Mirror (what a waste of paper this!) will fold first.

  27. 70
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    What did they print in Oct 2011?
    Seems very popular.

  28. 72
    MeNoKozy says:

    The French and the Greeks are on the march out of Europe. How long can the Eurozone keep up the facade that it is not on the verge of collapse? The ECB is on the verge of a catastrophic crisis and will be too big to save. Oh dèar! This is the time when the extremist raise their ugly hèads. Mr Hítlerpapapadoz is hoping to lèad Greece out of the Eurozone in the nèar future. The ‘collective shadow’ that is Far Right is gaining political momentum! If in doubt blame the ìmmígrants. Every ruined economy needs a scapegoat.

    • 93
      c'est la vie says:

      At least the french are happy that they can once more max out on their credit cards.

    • 110
      A Finger Pointer says:

      The public are not entirely stupid even if their leaders usually are. Sometimes the people who are to blame need to be blamed.

      • 349
        Anonymous says:

        When the Euro falls apart, as it surely will, I imagine that the world will continue to spin at a thousand miles per hour.

  29. 75
    Bugler Bert says:

    I have not seen it yet, so I may as well use it myself – The New Statesman is “Staggering” to the end….. Who, apart that pile of dog turds called the BBC, gives a fart? I read it once. and just like Dorothy Parker after reading a godawful manuscript, chucked it into the bin.

  30. 76
    Jumbo says:

    Fewer than 4,0000, not less than. Who do you think you are, the ‘cking BBC?

  31. 79
    Stranger Things Have Happened says:

    Suppose Rupert Murdoch were to buy the New Statesman and maintain the current lineup over there– do you think maybe certain attitudes about him would change, at any rate publicly spoken ones? A form of protection money, as it were? He could always mouth some blah about wanting vigorous policy debate in serious public-affairs publications, yadda-da, yadda-dee…and if he is as unprincipled as he is made out to be, what would stop him from just having a “vanity mag” for the Laurie Pennys of the world and hope they’d now find him “fit and proper”? He can afford it– what did Orson Welles say, “At this rate I’ll go broke in 60 years!”?

    • 94
      jgm2 says:

      Laurie Penny is making her play for Polly Tuscany’s job. I’m sure I read somewhere she’s only earning 22K a year. Her parents will be well pissed off after stumping up 18K a year at Brighton College plus three years tuition and accommodation at Oxford.

      22K a year? She’d have been better off leaving school at 16 and getting a job at Kwikfit. Although she’s probably ‘too good’ to actually do any work.

      • 108
        socialist career path says:

        Get a real job? You must be joking.

        • 223
          I fucking hate the bbc says:

          Why buy statesman when you can get opinion of same hue from BBC

      • 286
        Fish says:

        Penny the Tyre Fitter?

        All together now; ‘…you can’t get thicker than a Kwik fit fitter…’

  32. 81
    albacore says:

    I take it this comic is a socialist rag
    Since the commies have now got it all in the bag
    Is there really much point in such red rabble-rousers?
    ‘Cos there’s no Tories left inside Dave’s Tories’ trousers

  33. 87
    jgm2 says:

    4,000 copies a week? It can’t be making any money. Who is bankrolling this vanity publication?

    • 99
      Princess Po-Face Polytwadle, wearing ethnic clothing, talking down at people from her Ivory Tower says:

      I am always right!

      I am never wrong!

      Oh this is absolutely dreadful! You ignorant people simply do not understand!

      The house magazine of the Socialist Party, the BBC, and the Grouniad, – is only meant for Selected higher up offshore island people in the very top of the Socialist Party Tree, – intellectuals like, for instance, myself, Edwin Balls, Harriet the comedienne, Gordon our Leader, and little Egg MerelyBland.

      As such, you would not expect the journal to have a large circulation. It is for the Crème de la Creameys!

      Now go away!

      • 172
        genghiz the kahn says:

        Polly and others like her are similar to clotted cream.

        Rich and thick.

    • 117
      Fuck the BBC says:

      Do they carry BBC job adverts by chance?

    • 136
      Not a proper rag says:

      And they will be mainly be state subsidised to local libraries, BBC rest rooms and universities.

      • 179
        The Golem says:

        O.K., I confess I glanced at it in the library while I was still studying full-time. Gave up the impulse before it became character destructive.

  34. 89
    John Prescott says:

    I could murder a mayonnaise sandwich with a side of ketchup.

  35. 92
    jgm2 says:

    Are the up-spikes when they have a picture of Will’n’Kate on the front?

  36. 96
    Anonymous says:

    May 27th.

  37. 100
    Professor says:

    The “Some weeks” below 4,000 seem to amount to one week!

  38. 103
  39. 111
    We've had No To Ken. Now for a new campaign says:

    I’m going to suggest a genuine concerted campaign be undertaken to find out whether the likes of Ken Loach, Laurie Penny, Owen Jones, Polly Toynbee and Bob Crow will move to France now that they have a socialist president, and if not, to persuade them to do so. Surely if they have the courage of their convictions they won’t want to remain here? I’m certain Polly would happily give up the reduction in the top rate of tax and move to France where socialist tax policies will be implemented. No? She does believe in that doesn’t she? She would be happy to get more of her income taxed? No?

  40. 115
    Fuck the BBC says:

    Hollande wins by a clear majority said the BBC. Bias bias bias bias.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01h733z/BBC_Weekend_News_06_05_2012/

  41. 119
  42. 120
    Fuck the BBC says:

    The BBC don’t seem happy with the plan to outlaw driving whilst stoned. Clearly a lot of BBC people will be caught out.

  43. 123
    Jean Claude says Au Revoir says:

    I cannot afford to live in France with the threat of having to pay 75% tax on my wealth!

    • 142
      Manchuria says:

      Don’t worry. You’d be paying it in a worthless currency anyway

    • 207
      Money money money says:

      Try becoming a tax exile like Alain Delon, Johnny Halliday etc then

      And live in your suitcase

      • 233
        CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

        A certain cross dressing code breaker from MI6 tried living in his suitcase – didn’t do him much good.

  44. 125
    Ratsniffer says:

    Standing by for a massive drop in the stock market tomorrow, as the spectre of cancerous marxism starts to spread across Europe. Sell in May & go away?

  45. 126
    Declining into Irrelevance says:

    Just like the entire rotten edifice of misrule by the liblabcon traitor class.

    Regime change. Guillotines.

  46. 129
    Mr German says:

    How strange that France is now run by Holland.

    • 138
      A Finger Pointer says:

      No stranger than England being run by indolent twits

    • 163
      Some Geezer wot's going to go for the obvious joke here says:

      He’ll get them in Dutch.

    • 221
      Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

      Well it’s been run by Germany for the last few years.

  47. 131
    Canned Lafter says:

    The New Statesman sounds like the title of a BBC comedy.

  48. 133
    A Fine Pair Of Lungs says:

    SOCIALISM IS FOR LOSERS!

  49. 134
    The Golden Dawn Chinese Restuarant. says:

    \|

  50. 135
    The Curse of Jonah Brown says:

  51. 137
    A Vibrant Economy says:

    “The recession has led to a boost in the sales of sex toys as more and more couples opt for indoor fun with three-quarters of women in Britain now owning one.”

  52. 139
    The Golden Dawn Chinese Restaurant. says:

    Asso!/

  53. 141
    Anonymous says:

    Hollande stuns the Germans and is allowed to usher in more spending.

    No body in Europe cares what Cameron says or does on Europe because the others just go ahead any way. What a truly light weight PM we have.

    No one can vote conservative while he and Osbourne are at the helm! He’s truly just another Blair!

    • 146
      Credit where credit is due says:

      Cameron is Cameron. He really is his own self-made lump of uselessness

      • 154
        Well it's a thought says:

        Camoron and his uconned us were told on Thursday by the none votes >60% voters that he is fkin useless, we may have 3 years if the uconned us still have the yellow stre ak and don’t get rid of him.

      • 259
        AC1 says:

        Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Policies I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning is a poem by Dave the Politically Flatulent.

    • 161
      Blair Rich Project says:

      Cameron is mini-me.

  54. 143
    Jimmy the cripple says:

    The NS is crap!

  55. 144
    Eric Pickles has failed to reform local government and deal with corruption says:

    I see that David Cameron has had a revelation. Apparently there is something called ‘hard work’ that he thinks might be worth trying. He is asking the civil service to draw up a list of potential ‘hard work’ champions to head up a scoping study.

  56. 148
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Has Livingstone declared his financial accounts yet?
    Any more news on rendtion by Jack Straw?
    Has Ed Miliband dclared who was at the Rudd event?
    Why does Guido not follow up these stories?

    • 153
      Marmite says:

      +1, and Guido, don’t forget Twatson. In fact if you could make the fat shyte your first priority, I would be obliged.

    • 155
      annette curton says:

      Please can we have; the rendition OF Jack Straw… justice at last, and no I don’t care if he doesn’t get a fair trial and they chop his knob off.

  57. 157
    Redact Redact Redact says:
    • 167
      annette curton says:

      Good job for T. Blair that the chairman of the last committeee! didn’t have any forensic ability concerning a death in highly suspicious circumstances, declaring an illegal war, 350,000 civilians killed (negotiable), dozens of British troops killed and maimed and a bill to the exchequer of several £billion, all based on a proven pack of lies, but Hey! lets dispense with such trivia and get down to the really serious stuff, Hugh Grants got a bee in his bonnet because he was too stupid to change the pin on his voice mail from the factory default, that’s Hollywood, nahh, Pinewood.

    • 240
      I don't need no doctor says:

      What does MacKenzie know? Brooks will not indicate Cameron in anyway, it’s not how it works. Blair, Brown and their allies need to worry more than Cameron.

  58. 158
    Postal Vote says:

    Surely labour councils will introduce new rules that you can put your NS subscription on expenses. It’s good for your public-sector-low-effort-required career.

  59. 159
    Mars to Ed says:

    Reboot….reboot……borrowborrowborrow……..spendspendspend……borrowborrowborrow…..

  60. 160
    The Tosser in Number 10 says:

    I say chaps!!! I’ve been right all along! My jolly chum Joules says the common people are really keen to talk about botty sex! And the Pig Society. Watt??? Wattage??

  61. 164
    Fog on the Tyne says:

    Politics is the destination of choice of the criminal classes.

  62. 166
    Ahh Magoo again says:

    Isn’t he the one who was fiddling his Gruniad expenses credit card at “Hot Rocks” on Bournemouth Seafront on July 4th a couple of years ago?

    Questions are
    1 Was he working for the Gruniad while bending the Gruniad card?
    or
    2 Was he working for himself and his union buddies aligned to Liebour?

    Either way he was shown the door. The ‘e-mails’ Magoo / Hyde / Interviewee are out there – wonder if they were hacked?

    Truth will out Mr Magoo.

    • 176
      Marina hiding says:

      No I did not go OTT ballistic when he signed off an e-mail to me with ‘luv’ on it.

      Okay there could be some e-mails out there – and he better not publish them – or I’ll get my daddy to ask his friends to sort him out.

      So there.

  63. 171
    Harry says:

    The second they got hate-preacher Medhi Hasan in, who thinks I am immoral unclean cattle-face kaffir, I stopped taking it seriously. Think I exaggerate, think again:

  64. 174
    Mustaffa Councilhouse says:

    Dan Hodges. Isn’t he Glenda Jacksons son?
    Hollywood star and Labour MP for a mum that must have been handy.
    Up the workers eh Dan?

  65. 178
    Professor says:

    “The only “news” in the magazine that you have not read elsewhere is usually found in Kevin Maguire’s gossip diary.”

    Rotweiler Chops is another reason to give it a miss!

  66. 192
    Engineer says:

    The main reason that the Staggers sells that many is that it’s printed on quite soft and absorbent paper. Punch hole in one corner, loop the string through….

    • 199

      and their crossword is pretty easy too.

      1 down – 8 letters – the craft of building a roof with dry vegetation such as straw.
      1 across – 8 letters – she destroyed the working class.
      2 Down – Someone who steals milk from the mouths of babes.
      4 across -sounds a bit like catcher

      etc

      • 242
        annette curton says:

        Lol, The Margaret, closely related to the Crow family, an opportunistic scavenger of offal that has been seen to swoop down and make off with any glittery items of value and secret them in the roost, rarely seen in the wild these days as the off-spring on hatching are thrown out of the nest (extract from BBC Spring watch with Kate Humble).

      • 250
        etc says:

        a rake for removing thatch from a lawn

  67. 193
    Fuck the BBC says:

    More BBC bollocks. Dickhead BBC person just claimed that Greece and France have voted against austerity.

    Really? Greece might have, although I’d argue Greece voted for fuck all, but France only just voted for a lefty by a small majority, 48% of the people didn’t vote for it.

    More spinning by the BBC, they can’t help themselves can they?

  68. 194
    • 202
      The Truth will out says:

      He must be a mini Gwido ally

      Nationalist, irrelevant and hysterical

      • 203
        Alex Salmond, Commander of the Jock Hordes says:

        Is Guido a n ationalist ?

        If so, for which nation ?

        Nevis ?

      • 205
        This is what happens when democrats fail their peoples in the name of the EU ideology says:

        It is hard not to be hysterical when something you love has been sold out to German bankers.

        • 213
          The Truth will out says:

          What do you love then ?

          Ireland? Britain ?

          And it seems Ireland has been saved from default by the EU

          As for Britain, I do not see what “German bankers” have to do with it, unless you have become hyterically paranoid…

          Try to be half way coherent

          • This is what happens when democrats fail their peoples in the name of the EU ideology says:

            The report is about Greece. Do keep up

          • AC1 says:

            >And it seems Ireland has been saved from default by the EU

            Keep taking those tablets. Iceland did not manage to get “saved” from default, it’s economy is recovering well. Ireland’s economy is still horribly damaged and worse off from now having to carry the extra debt from bailing out the bond-holding classes.

    • 204
      This is what happens when democrats fail their peoples in the name of the EU ideology says:

      Some of that translation might need looking at.

    • 214
      UKIP spokesperson says:

      We rather like this antidiluvian reaction to anything that is foreign and helpful

  69. 196
    Fuck the BBC says:

    I see Gordon Brown’s favourite party have got seats in the Greek Parliament…oh hang on it’s Golden Showers Gordon likes.

  70. 197
    Curious says:

    No news on the circulation of the Daily Star Sunday – seems to have gone very quiet this week? Is there something we arn’t being told?

  71. 201
    Anonymous says:

    Try this

  72. 206
    Papopapepapopadus says:

    Merkel telling the Greeks what to do again by stating that they must stick to the Draconian economic measures imposed upon them via troika.
    Did any of the Greeks vote for Merkel? Nope. The Greeks will eventually vote to default as this is the only option left to put an end to their economic nightmare and put them on path to growth.

    • 298
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      The Greeks can’t form a Government, so Merkel will send them one, supported by a few Panzers.

      Merkel will not allow anyone to threaten BMW, VW, Audi, Porsche, Mercedes etc from exporting their shit cars all over the world, the lower the Euro goes the more cars they flog.

      If Germany had to go back to the Reichmark their exports would be so expensive they’d have to invade Russia again.

      • 305
        Marion the cat says:

        Absolutely spot on, when will the commentating classes realise this is the real reason a) Behind Germany’s current export successes. b) Germanys belligerant support of the status quo.
        They love the pastiche exchange rate for the same reasons it killed the Greek tourist trade.

        • 312
          Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          Also, Germany prevents any other European country getting significant economic or industrial power, her main competitors, France, Italy and Spain are all fucked and being held down by the krauts, yes it costs them some money, but the joke is Germany can afford it, especially as its exports go boom, Germany has what it always wanted economic domination of Europe but with a cheap currency to maintain it’s vast industrial complex.

          The fuckers paying for it are the poor….once again. What we need is an economic Lancaster to take the fuckers out.

  73. 208
    Don't tell the twitter community says:

    Racist rants on Twitter by Bournemouth Councellor Sue Anderson / Bournemouth Echo / But the cops never open criminal invetsigations against anyone down at the rotten borough…. suprise suprise ! Crafty bugghers them lot!

    “Cobblers to the Council” Re: Durham of old – now its Bournemouth.

  74. 209
    stun says:

    Tory MP trolls labourite:

    @ianbirrell Yes but “Tea Party Tories” schtick not resonating with anyone other than tofu munching public sector liberal N London elite— Stewart Jackson (@SJacksonMP) May 7, 2012

  75. 210
    Money money money says:

    Some interesting real background on the Evil Witch, “daughter of Murdoch”

    http://www.vanityfair.com/business/2012/02/rebekah-brooks-201202

  76. 212
    its a sick joke says:

    only the tories know anything
    only the tories can do anything
    only the tories win anything
    only the tories are right
    all of the time

  77. 220
    Rabekkah says:

    The Metropolitan Police have insulated my home and hoovered my knickers

    I am clean, and I will prove it

    It is everone else’s fault

    I have only been arrested THREE times

  78. 222
    The voice of reason says:
    • 236
      The 'Pennies' Rupert forgot says:

      Andrew didn’t you publish an article in the Evening Standard Wednesday 12th November 2003 at page 51 “The ‘Pennies’ rupert forgot” – Is the penny starting to drop now Andrew? And didn’t you publish some letters in the defunct Business paper … in April 2003 relevant to Corporate greediness oops Governance Re: No excuse for pay?

      Come on now Mr Neil – lets be having less of your temporary amnesia.

    • 239
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Mr. Neil, do I detect a protest against your BBC masters?

    • 266
      Says all you need to know about the BBC says:

      Indeed Mr Brillo, they can’t have it both ways.

    • 283
      English Liberation Front says:

      No, that’s not how it works Mr Neil. Working for the BBC you should know that by now. There are quite separate rules for socialist propaganda. They go something like this:-

      “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”
      “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
      “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master — that’s all.”

  79. 224
    Self-indulgent fraudulent banker says:

    I love this blog

    Always talking about irrelevancies

    Always distracting attention from our massive fraud on the British people

    Which continues…

  80. 226
    Jack says:

    Guido

    Please come back to this blog

    It has become utter rubbish since you left

    • 261
      time and tides says:

      Neo Guido is away giving his mum a mothers day holiday.
      Guido is out buying carpets having lost a bet to his Mrs.
      Patience is golden

    • 328
      Mr Slater says:

      Whoever’s running it, this blog will always be a refuge for Parrot-fanciers everywhere!

  81. 229
    Chukus Yermoney says:

    Labour made real gains at the local elections without the need to come up with any decent policies. Either the Socialist sheeple are thick or the Coalition is crap. Maybe both. Heyho. I would rather buy a new suit by using tax payers money than make up a policy that is not sustainable or even realistic. The Socialist numbnuts are voting for us inspite of the fact that we have NO policies. Just a blank piece of paper with a few of Ed Balls dribbles here and there. Easy! Unless it was all down to ‘protest’ voting then we have won the next General election without even have to draft up one of those silly manifesto thingy! Yea ha!

    • 237
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      Labour won nothing – Cameron lost. Different thing altogether.

      • 296
        Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        2 years into this Government I’d have expected Liebore to be 20 points ahead, the fact they’re not shows there is hope.

  82. 232
    Background says:

    Wasn’t Ellwood an underling to Liam Fox – of Adam Werrity fame not a few months ago?

  83. 238
    Red Lorry says:

    It’s not helped by the fact that the Poltical Editor of an ostensibly political magazine is a religious bigot who thinks non-muslims are brain-dead cattle.

  84. 253
    Ed Balls MP says:

    Sell Gold, buy Euro`s!

    • 256
      my other car's a tractor says:

      Have gold, Sterling and Euros but more important a large vegetable plot with free running water .
      I’m planting apostrophes this year.

  85. 260
    • 264
      illogical says:

      Hari-kiri indeed.
      Dave should commit to Harri Guto and confuse the lot of them.

    • 269
      Cashier Cameron says:

      Readable though he may be, Hodges is on the wrong side of the divide. If he sounds sympathetic towards Cameron it’s because Cameron is not a Conservative.
      Cameron has lost support because the party’s natural supporters are sick to the pit of their stomaches with his mixture of socialist policies and irrelevant froth.

      • 271
        nellnewman says:

        He is the only labour supporting journalist that I find readable. Indeed he is eminently readable.

        Not to say that I always agree with his views but I like his style.

        • 301
          Universal Hiss says:

          He’s very strange. A leftist with a brain.

          It’ll never catch on.

      • 292
        Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        Because Hodges knows Cameron can never win an outright election. Cameron is also a mong, he should be doing his best to get the skirt wearing wankers noth of the border to fuck off, that will reduce Liebore by 50 seats add in the boundary changes AND if they banned postal voting the Tories could gain another 20 seats.

        It would be very hard for Liebore to ever form a majority in England again.

        But Camperon won’t do it, he’s a knob.

  86. 268
    BBC political doctrine dept says:

    The left unites and the right divides, Obama/Clinton united the nation while Bush/Reagan divided it.

    Hollande won a landslide victory and Bojo barely sneaked in by the skin of his teeth even though they got more or less the same amount of votes. Only the left win landslides and only the right sneaks in.

    Thatcher was solely and fully to blame for the industrial turmoil/warfare and decline of the 60s/70s even though she did not take power until 1979. The far left had nothing to do with industrial sabotage and CND did not take KGB cash.

    New labour was entirely blameless in racking up gigantic national debt, in fact labour was entirely blameless full stop for anything and everything and Gordon Brown did indeed save the world and the EU is fully democratic, is not corrupt, is wonderful in everything it does and plans.

    Dame Constance Hardone MBE RCT JCB EDL GMT & bar

    • 290
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Yep you’ve got it. You did forget that Cocaine is good for you and homosexuality is the only way to live.

  87. 272
    Gordon Brown says:

    Colonic-irrigation is a human right so a vote for me is a vote for poo pipes and potties for all! I saved the universe weeeeeeeeeee……

    I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout!
    When I get all steamed up hear me shout..
    Tip me over and pour me out!

    • 332
      The March Hare says:
      Your wish is my command, oh Master who saved the world from boom and
       ... and ... what was was it you saved us from again ?
      
      
                                    +7$OZZZZZZZ7?~.,    
                                 I~=~====~=======~:$     
                                 ~~77$I~===========~$        
                                 ~?=::~+8~~==========8      
                                 $=+~~:~~:D==========~8      
                  =IIII77$O$=  , I=Z~~~~~:~I8=~======~~:     
                ,============:I  ,~7~~~~~:Z? I++=======8            
               O=============ZZ7, I~I~~~~?~I   8=~=====Z,          
              :~=========~=7~~~~Z $~O~~~~I$    ,~+~====?7         
              D~=========+=~:~~+=:+=+~~:Z~:       O===~++          
             =I========~I~I:~::$=O7+~+:$=O         ,$~=$       
             Z~========7,O~??:~8~=8=~7$=+            :Z           
             7~=======Z,  O+=+$O?=8~?I$++==~,
             =======~$      $+I?I8=DI=7=~=7Z             I=?=7       
            I==~====I       =~===~=+?======+~$,       I~Z=7I+7       
            +=====+$      =?===~======~+87++?I$      O+Z?~=I~O=I77OZ7 
           =~====?:,      +?Z~~==I$7$7?MO8   +       7O7Z87??O=?7I?ZI= 
          :I==~~$         ,~?~7~ZMMMNIM ,$           ?=$?IIIIIZ=Z?I7?$ 
          I~=~7+           ~+:7=M~=  MO  ,~=       +8+D?7IIII77+=7III8
         ==+Z ,            ,? 7 ~$   ,=  ,=~+7I7?=7Z8OIIGORDONIIZ=+=++=
                                7I    :7I$8ZI=====~?ZD?IIBROWNI7I?$8D=
                               $~=+7$7IIO8O7+=I==~~D8DIIIGORDONI7ZOOOO77Z:
                            ~II=~+=~=DDDDDDN~=I8+~~O7IDIIIIBROWNII?77IIN:I
                           =7~~=$D==7DDDDDNO=+=D~~Z8$8=ZIIIGORDONIII?8, D
                            I==??8~==+$DND=+=++I~=OZ$$8=Z?IIIBROWNI?+   Z,
                           ~~==+~Z+7~=7=~~=~~7$~$Z$$$Z?+Z+O?I7??$$Z     $$
                            ?$=~==$Z=~=$I:,,===8Z8Z$$?      :7II,       $8
               ,==  ,Z+       =:Z$+:~~~7,+ I~$$$$$Z8~,                  $8
              7:       I      ,  O, Z==I+7+Z+ ,D7$8               ,     ZO
             7         7,       $~=+?7OD==~~=O$ZOI             ,+,  :   Z,
             =         7,        I     ?++~IZ$$,               ~I~,     $
             ,+      7O$$$D+,    8Z$ ,+~?==O$7Z?=        ,I   ~~~:DZ$, =,::
              Z    =O7$$$$$$Z= ,ZZ$$$87??O$IO7?I? +Z           :I$$:I++8I,
               ~= D$$$$$$$$$$$ZZ$$$$Z$77$87?OII?I    :,        $:7~$::~O7+$:
                 D$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ZZZZZ?7,               8:OI++7$:::=~
               Z$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ZZ:Z?         :,  ,  ~~:$I==+I:
               IZ$$$$$$$$$$$$$ZZ$$$$$$$$$$$$8$$$$77$$8: ?===~7I=~O=~~~~:~,
               8$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ZO$$$$$$$Z8$$$$$$8?==??=+===I?~=O7Z$==$??=,
               8$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$8Z$$$$O$$$$Z78$$OII=~=====~O==7D$+I:~:~::,
               O$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$8NNN8ZO$$$$$$8$78 +7.:?+=?I~~~Z+::~~=I7OI:
               8$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ZDNNNNMD$O$$$Z$O$$7 ,     ?=I~=      ,~~=
               D$$$$$$$$$$$$$8DNNNNNNNN$$$$$ :878:        ?==7   $
               :O$$$$$$$$ZDNMNNNNNMNMDO$$$$Z               ?==  +        $
                ?Z$$$ZDMMMMMMMMMMI~   Z$$$O                ,             D
                :$$$NMMMMMMMMMMM:    ,O$$O             
                ~Z7:MMMMMMMMMMM      7$Z8              
                +   MMMMMMMMMN      ,ZD:                  
                    MMMMMMMMM
                    MMMMMMMMI
                    ,ZZZ7?$I
                   ,MI~NND?NND~                       
                 ~DDDDDDDDDDNDD?=~===~                  
         :8DNNNNDDDDDDDDNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDZ             
       DDNDDDDDDDDDDDDNDNNNNDDDDDDNDDNDDD88:          
      DDDDDDDDDDDN$,+7?        :$DDDDDDDDDDND,     
      7$DNNNNNN$:                  :IIIIIIII7I     
      
  88. 273
    Ex-Con Fletcher says:

    “Naff Off You Stupid B*tch”

  89. 274
    Cressida's Dick says:

    Make sure your lawns are well manicured M Hollande. Frau Merkel’s just about to park her tanks on it.

  90. 275
    David Camelbum says:

    After those terrible results I’ve listened to the people and taken on-board their concerns. I won’t be moving to the right or the left, so in other words Fuck You!

    • 282
      Lifter O' Shirts. says:

      Yes true.Just watched Nicholas Boles MP who seems like a nice boy,on sky news. He’s backing Cammy to the hilt.

      Bit silly to have wisteria in the back drop though.

  91. 276
    bergen says:

    The NS is simply too boring for words these days-it’s even worse the grauniad. Short of resurrecting the ghost of dear old Arthur Marshall to inject some humour, I think it’s a gonner.

  92. 279
    NMA-TV says:

    • 309
      Anonymous says:

      Dude, if you’re going to post anything french on this site can it at least be the foxy Alizee, writhing provocatively.

  93. 285
    its a sick joke says:

    meanwhile, in the real world

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/may/07/elderly-care-funding-duncan-smith

    IDS is an absolute twat

    • 288
      Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      No, what he’s saying is spend everything and keep nothing, the state will always rob you of what you try to put aside, it doesn’t matter if it’s Tories or Liebore.

      I intend to go on a world tour shagging anything that looks female when I retire, I intend to return to the UK with more diseases than the WHO knows about and I expect the Government to look after me.

      Anyone who puts money aside is an idiot.

    • 297
      annette curton says:

      He obviously has no idea what he is talking about, anybody with assets of less than £28,000 i.e. the poorest, already have funding for residential or nursing home care provided by the state in full. If you have money, assets or property over that amount they are appropriated by the state (local authority) to go towards paying for the care , unless you are in the fortunate position that you have pensions or assets which enable you to fund the costs independently, currently anything from about £600 pounds a week up to £1000 pounds per week. I know this because my mother has recently suffered a stroke and is now unable to live in her house any more and needs full time care, so all her assets will be stripped from her. What is this idiot talking about?.

      • 397
        Anonymous says:

        further proof of the end of the Welfare State – no discussion with the people, no mandate, jus t ended.

        What are we paying NI for? What happens to all that I have paid in up to now? Can I have my money back?

  94. 287
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    I don’t get the Greeks, the krauts and the Euro are fucking their country yet they seem to want to remain in the bloody thing. Why? If they had any sense they’d tell Furher Merkel to go fuck herself and go back to their own currency, make everything dirt cheap and get millions of tourists to go visit.

    All Greece has is tourism and at the moment it’s no cheaper to holiday there than Spain or the south of France.

  95. 291
    That Hollande-Merkel discussion in full says:

    FH: Allo, allo, I want to renegotiate ze fiscal pact, s’il vous plaît.
    AM: Nein, fucken Sie off.
    FH: Bon, d’accord.

  96. 293
    MajorFrustration says:

    Is the Staggers owned by Geof (ive got deep pockets and close friend of Maxwell)Robinson

  97. 303
    Distraught master & commander says:

    Hi Guys another bilderberger for you

    http://t.co/9522dupt

    • 315
      Well it's a thought says:

      Politicians they are all members of something but not members of the British public who pay them and they detest.

  98. 304
    Anonymous says:

    I truly love visiting all the countries in Europe, so many different cultures, wonderful!!

    But I don’t want to be ruled by any of them nor do I wish for them to be ruled by any one else other than themselves. They must remain in charge of their own destiny.

    So why, oh why, oh why, does Germany again,want to impose its own will on the peoples of Europe? Will She never ever learn? Are two very recent world wars not enough?

    Let them have their own currencies back and allow them to go forward again, for God’s sake!

    • 356
      Anonymous says:

      You’ve not been listening during your school history lessons. WWI was not caused by the Germans but by all the capitalists and toffs on all sides who either wanted a war or were too silly to avoid it. WWII was caused not by the Germans but by evil aliens called Nazis who parachuted into Germany and brainwashed everyone.

  99. 306
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron would never have made the Thatcher government. He’s just a wet, like pymm, heseltine, howe and brittain and other traitors to our great nation; all the rich political elite stopping you from an in/out EU referendum.

    Dave prefers LibDem policies to true blue tory policies and he should go, and now!

  100. 307
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron couldn’t win against brown last time and he certainly wont win next time either, absolutely no chance!

    A truly light weight premier, more at home with the libdems than a true blue conservative party.

    You should go now!

  101. 308
    Guido Sucks Donkey Cock says:

    Trend my fucking arse. Even a kid educated in todays school could tell you that your so called trend is a lot of fucking bollocks guido. Seriously I doubt you could pass a GCSE maths today if you are going to print shite like that on your blog you doss Hunt.

    • 318
      South of the M4 says:

      You must have missed ‘ moving averages ‘ then in yesterdays school.

      • 407
        South of the M4 sucks donkey cock says:

        Oh a moving average thats ok then, what was I think. If you’re using a moving average then it’s entirely appropriate to stick a linear trend line on the chart and think it is representative, if you have no fucking clue what you are talking about. Its quite bloody obvious that the only reason that it shows a downward trend is due to the occasional sharp spikes in sales. Get rid of the sharp spikes as outliers and you will see an upward trend in sales. Get rid of the low outlier at the begining of the data set and you will see the growth is most likley stagnant. I’m not surprised at this as the magazine is fucking shit.

    • 334
      Mr Average says:

      Have to say you do have a point. Start of the graph 4,100 end of the graph more than 4,100 . That to most observers is an increase.

      Still they are pathetic figures and given that most sales will be to state institutions and politicians on expense accounts then the real sales of people putting their hands in their pockets and spending their own money must be in the order of less than 5.

  102. 316
    Anonymous says:
  103. 320
    Anonymous says:

    Focusing on gay marriage and house of lords reform is just what is needed to get this country moving!

    What a disgrace and a waist of time,as cameron pushes yet more libdem policies!

    • 323
      John Bull says:

      Don’t you just love it, ‘The Waists of Time’.

      How excellent that the NUT are refusing to teach pupils to spell, should give give Jonny Forinner a chance.

    • 330
      Pointless legislation says:

      FFS there is not even a demand for gayer marriage. They are quite happy with civil partnerships.

  104. 321
    Anonymous says:

    France election: Germany rules out reworking EU’s ‘fiskalpakt’

    The germans never ever learn do they?

  105. 322
    John Bull says:

    This is obviously more important news than Europe entering its death throes.

  106. 324
    A Respected person says:
    • 326
      Socialists never learn says:

      You know it was only a few days ago that the Germans were praised by all for being so Conservative with their economy. While other economies across Europe over heated and went bust the German economy did not and trundled on in its solid way.

      Now Socialists all over Europe are once again advocating the unchecked printing of money once more to fuel an even bigger bust than the one we have now.

      But why on Earth did the Germans take their eye off the ball and invite the likes of Greece, Portugal, Spain and Ireland into their economic circle? I can only think it was part of a long term grander plan to dominate Europe, where no country has the power to go its own way.

      • 369
        Cast iron Dave says:

        Talk is cheap. I doubt very much that Hollande will deliver what he promised.

    • 331
      Anonymous says:

      What Tory economics ffs???

    • 333
      grobdj says:

      Palestine economics is hardly free-market, Peter

      • 339
        Anonymous says:

        It’s rather quaint how young Peter doesn’t seem to know what’s coming. Let’s leave him in the dark, best thing.

    • 335
      Bye Bye Euro says:

      Indeed this is fantastic news!

    • 336
      WVM says:

      Champagne and fake tan all round!

    • 341
      Peter Pain says:

      The two Ed’s ( Minibandwagon & Balls ) would solve the debt problem by spending and borrowing stupendous amounts. Only Liebour have the answer to ending Boom and Bust – more Boom and Bust !!

    • 345
      Gordon Brown says:

      The Euro is now doomed, doomed doomed doomed I tell yer!
      Only I can save the world again… look nursey no hands weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  107. 350
    Peter says:

    Why not identify yourselves after making these comments?
    I cannot be alone in wanting to look at you face to face.
    The New Statesman started publishing in April 2013 and it’s still going and many people have worked and written for it and feel pretty good about that.
    This blog, entertaining though it is, is unlikely to be around in ten years.
    The faceless clever-clogs, cowardly, pseudonymous, self-satisfied, often abusive respondents get away with their comments. I guess they will always be around. Just like dog shit!

    • 353
      WVM says:

      I’m not a politician tell everyone what to think and do wile sucking on the state tit and spending tax payers money Pete, and so I don’t need to identify myself to a self serving cun’t like you. Glad to see the New Statesman hasn’t even started publishing yet.

    • 354
      grobdj says:

      So which is it? This blog is like dog shit and will always be around but won’t be around in ten years. Make your mind up Pete

    • 361
      SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

      Only eleven months until the first issue comes out !

      Can’t wait !

      • 363
        Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        One of my turds will be around longer than the New Twatsman

    • 388
      Anonymous says:

      Touched a raw nerve have we Peter? Most of us don’t get paid thousands plus generous expenses for telling porkies,ruining the economy, and getting rich off the backs of our de*d servicemen, AND most of us wouldn’t want to.

      Leiber is not even honest shyte, it’s pure filth.

  108. 355
  109. 358
    Ken Loach says:

    Do not watch this movie!

  110. 364
    Phain in the neck says:

    Sod off Phain – stick to the legal ruse that’s going to make £300,000 for them legals in your “Scandalising the judiciary” court ruse.

    You and that Bagdad annie get yer gun from Wales couldn’t give a monkeys about the British natives – sod off back to South Africa with Lucan and his mob.

  111. 368
    Chart Watch says:

    It is blindingly obvious from looking at the graph that more New Statemans are sold now from when the graph first started.

    But the readership is so low to make it irrelevant anyway.

  112. 391
    Bogeyman says:

    Comparisons with this site are pretty meaningless as they are two different media. But get this: my mate who runs a magazine for railway modelling nerds enjoys a higher circulation!

  113. 395
    analymous says:

    I wish I was a Pigeon
    Flying in the sky
    I could shit on Cameron
    As he goes by

  114. 398
    Anonymous says:

    Cameron relaunch – I’ve forgotten which number

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/david-cameron/9250996/David-Cameron-there-is-no-going-back-on-austerity.html

    Austerity for who Dave? You c’unt

    • 400
      Cuts ? What bloody cuts ? says:

      And when is it exactly that Dave’s planning to stop pissing tax-payers’ money away on the likes of the Indian Space Programme ? How can he seriously expect anyone to ever trust him again ?

  115. 399
    albacore says:

    Get your whips out. It’s time for self-flagellation
    Thinking unclean thoughts leads to hell and damnation
    Should you ever succumb to forbidden urges
    Cleanse yourself right away with merciless scourges

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-17982027

    • 401
      Well it's a thought says:

      It’s called business, self preservation, if you want to make money you keep your private thoughts to yourself while you make your filthy lucre or just engage brain before being honest in your thoughts.

    • 408
      The Leg graph don't says:

      There is nothing behind the rumour that a certain MP attempted to ‘quash’ this story and that this rumour has abounded is not because Dead wood is like Ellwood a major disaster of Liam Werrity / Adam Fox proportions.

      No … there is nothing that might impugne the character of a young gun, a chancer, a put up job, a nidiot.

      This is not another Major disaster …

      All you readers better understand Orders from a military man – who’s perhaps a bit lost on civvy street!

  116. 413
    Bugler Bert says:

    The New Statesman – like the BBC and the Oxford Union – is so full of idiotic left-wing fuckwits that I am amazed they anyone with common-sense still takes any notice of the crap that emenates……………


Media Reader

Guardian April Fools Apology | Press Gazette
Jenni Russell and Her Child’s Godfather, Ed Miliband | Breitbart
Mirror’s Lazy Lie | Guardian
Mirror’s Weeping Child Picture Lying Lazy Journalism | Guardian
Coulson: Everything You Need to Know in 6 Seconds | MediaGuido
BBC Still Loves the Guardian | Breitbart
Establishment Times Chums Appeasing Tory Europhiles | UKIP
Andrew Pierce v Owen Jones | MediaGuido
Michael Rosen’s Expert Opinions | MediaGuido
Metro Editor Leaves | Buzzfeed
Local News Stories That Rocked The World | Poke


new-advert
Guido-hot-button (1) Guido-hot-button (1)


Rod Liddle on the loony UN sexism special rapporteur:

“There is more sexism in Britain than in any other country in the world, according to a mad woman who has been sent here by the United Nations.

Rashida Manjoo is a part-time professor of law at Cape Town University in the totally non-sexist country of South Africa (otherwise known as Rape Capital Of The World).

Mrs Magoo has been wandering around with her notebook and is appalled by the sexist “boys’ club” culture here, apparently.

I don’t doubt we still have sexism in the UK. But is it worse than in, say, Saudi Arabia, d’you think, honey-lamb? Or about 175 other countries? Get a grip, you doolally old bat.”



orkneylad says:

What’s he been doing FFS, mining bitcoins?


Tip off Guido
Web Guido's Archives

Subscribe me to:






RSS




AddThis Feed Button
Archive


Labels
Guido Reads