May 3rd, 2012

+ + + Coulson and Brooks at Leveson Next Week + + +

Coulson on Thursday, Brooks Friday. Any bounce Dave is hoping to get from a win in London could be short-lived as a result. Peter Oborne reports that there were “dozens” of texts between the Prime Minister and his flame haired friend. Will she exact revenge for his disloyalty?

As for Coulson, well there’s a man with some scores to settle with News Corp…


  1. 1
    Joy! says:

    Popcorn time!


    • 5
      Louise Mench MP - Internet Tsar says:

      I’m young, beautiful and talented!


      • 7
        Its always the quiet ones says:

        She looks a bit of a priggy bore to me, but you never can tell…


        • 14

          Danger! Danger! Unpleasant reference that might cause hurt feelings.

          Disconnect your modem, unplug your computer and turn yourself in to the nearest correctional facility for 56 days.


          • Its always the quiet ones says:

            So I am not allowed to mention the Alicce in Wonderland hair, then?


          • Mentioning the physical app/e/arence of a person.
            Associating the characteristics of a fictional character with a real person
            Implying thoughtless gender derivative ideas
            mocking and demeaning abuse.

            I don’t know if you realise quite how much trouble you are in.


          • Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

            Are they inviting the HORSE??


          • Its always the quiet ones says:

            Of course, how you imagine Alice in Wonderland and how I imagine her may be very different, and I could even be one of those people who finds priggy bores particularly wonderful.


          • Rage Against the Political Elite says:

            So what we are saying is that She is Not a Ginger C-nt


          • Towselled and free as the wind says:

            Maybe she dyes it?


          • Rage Against the Political Elite says:

            Are any of these C-nts going to get charged with Mmm!! Black mail?
            Cause if you Know something and hold it over them., Maybe a bit of Gay activity at the local Mens toilets etc. etc.
            Wasn’t it a bit strange how KENNEDY had his Alcoholic ways blasted across the PRESS for daring to mention that he didnt think it was a good idea to Invade IRAQ.
            And the Other Ginger guy had an apparent Heart attack for going against the WAR. probably brought on by the same heart attack that Smith had to get BLIAR into Power.
            Interesting Theory for those conspiracy theorists out there.


      • 164
        Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

        But do you do a


    • 20
      Old School Tie says:

      Dave’ll be alright. Charlie Brooks is his best friend. They’ve known each other since school.


      • 30
        Anonymous says:

        But didn’t she used to be married to prominent Labour supporter Ross Kemp?


        • 55
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Yep and they used to nob around with prominent Labour Ministers and the odd Labour PM. So no change of loyalty needed when Cameron showed up on the radar.


          • Anonymous says:

            Let’s hope she reveals all her messages/texts from Wet Dave. After all he went to the USA to avoid being around when she was arrested. Now that’s support from a friend. One can only imagine that Osborne/Cameron tapped up Coulson to be their news man not the other way around. Once more, let’s hope he shows the same loyalty to them.


        • 255
          Tay King-dePisse says:

          Till she belted him around, after which, tempted to retaliate, Kemp was dissuaded by his mother and brother: “Don’t do it, Ross, she ain’t werf it!”


      • 31
        Show Biz for ugly people says:

        He was 3 years above Cast Iron, I can imagine it suits Dave to pretend they were friends since school but it’s simply not true


      • 105
        BBC News says:

        We would just like to point out that no Labour government ever had any dealings whatsoever with News International or the Murdoch family.


    • 226
      Sir William Waad says:

      I also have a soft spot for my dear old chestnut mare.


    • 263
      The Waltham Forest Returning Officer says:

      Isn’t it about time someone let me open the envelope with the result of the elections?


  2. 2
    nudge nudge says:

    I haven’t been following closely, but hasn’t this now been done to death?


    • 15
      sockpuppet #4 says:

      The horse is dead. I was going to say “it depends how funny the texts are”. but any text from dave can’t be beyond parody and inuendo.


    • 129
      Bored now says:

      I, too, thought it was all over. FFS, Fatty Fat-fuck Fatson’s book’s out, so what point is there in dragging this out any longer?


      • 188
        Public Domain Published says:

        Try cross reading ‘Virtual Murdoch’ by Neil Chenoweth and Bruce Pages ‘Murdoch Archipelago’. Many a little contradiction lies in them books. Who Neil C – ‘bootled it / was bought off’ in the mid/late 70’s when Murdoch ought to have gone belly up in Queensland?


        • 241
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          You re@lly are an obsessive loon aren’t you?

          WTF, why would anyone with a life bother with such tripe ? Helloooo, earth to unhinged loon, there are things in life far more important than Murdoch ever will be, haven’t you noticed everything around the world gradually going tits up?
          Thought not, you’ve been too busy in the basement with your tin foil hat on, obsessing about a very old man.

          Get another life, the one you have is driving you insane.


          • ahh di dums to I remember you Hoo says:

            Miaoow – Mr You Hoo – a touch of raw nerves there. One is getting lots of pleasure watching The You Hoo mob – squirming like never before…

            Your Hoo Ha – childish blast has given renewed vigour to Murdoch bashing – thanks.


  3. 3
    Neville Thurncoat says:

    excrement + whirly air circulation ?


  4. 4
    Ampers says:

    Three buckets please, this may take some time!


  5. 6
    All of the press (exc NI) says:

    move along nothing to see here


  6. 8
    do me a favour says:

    I’m far more interested in the links between Labour and NI from 1997 onwards, when the Labour party thought Murdoch was a fit person to cosy up to.


    • 9
      BBC says:

      The years 1997-2010 are an urban legend


    • 197
      Ofcom not fit for purpose says:

      Check out the original members of Ofcom; and how craven they were to the Newscorpions dirty ways throughout Bliars regieme… Note the merry-go-round of spineless cretins – Ed Richards, Lord Craven ….. etc


      • 277
        Steve says:

        What did the BBC HQ cover up ‘in cahoots’ with Mazars [See Mail On Sunday – “The Men from Mazars!” Published] in 2005 after an FOI Act application was launched on the BBC?

        BTW The e-mail and documentary evidence – still exists – just in case Lord Patten wanted to review the matter.

        Why did the BBC cover up the matter for a couple of years and who was buying time? The “evidence” will speak for itself and for a totally corrupted BBC – Totally Politicised just like every Police force in the UK during Tony Bliars Regime.

        P.S. The Crown would do well to start looking at Damian McBrides activities over the past 10 years.


    • 342
      Forkbender says:

      NI is like a courtesan from times past gets into bed with those in power, but when their lovers power is on the wane, they jump into bed with the next potential power source, and of course they denigrate their former lovers, in would not do to stay with their old lover, could be very disadvantageous or even dangerous for their own interests


  7. 10
    entendre says:

    ““dozens” of texts between the Prime Minister and his flame haired friend.”
    Dave was using a Blackberry and Trigger a Horseradish?


  8. 12
    Steve Miliband says:

    Surely NI will now be out to get labour after Twatsons outburst.


  9. 13
    William Power says:

    Cameron’s a gambling man. Surely she was only passing on racing tips.


    • 22
      Cashier Cameron says:

      Cameron’s behaviour suggests that he’s aiming to fix the result of the May 7th fixture in 2015. Has he backed himself to lose ? We should be told.


  10. 16
    Andrew Jones says:

    Poor Dave just can’t get a lucky break.

    Every time he has some good news, something bad comes his way and everyone forgets.

    I’m starting to feel sorry for the chap. Maybe he should just give it up and return to PR or something.


    • 49
      who'd have thought it says:

      He needs to employ a decent press officer.


      • 219
        Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

        Andy Coulson’s free, experienced and has all of the right contacts ………. whoops.


  11. 17
    Ex-Tory says:

    Nobody outside the political/media/celebrity bubble gives a monkey’s.


    • 21
      Monkey Giver says:

      I Do


      • 64
        Engineer says:

        You’re in the minority – Ex-Tory is correct. Out in the real world, most people either don’t give a **** anyway, or are looking at the way the politicians and the media are banging on about this and becoming even more contemptuous of same than they were.

        The economy is in a mess. Unemployment is high. Inflation is still above target. The Euro is teetering on the brink. We seem to be nearer major armed conflict in the Middle East than we have been for a decade. It’s now been confirmed that A-levels have been dumbed down. We have the wettest drought in living memory. All the political class can manage is a spat about few celebs phone messages?

        What planet are our supposed leaders on, exactly? It damn well isn’t the one I’m trying to get by on.


        • 75

          Another +1! I’m losing the will to live – someone say something I disagree with quickly, PLEASE!!


          • George Osborne says:

            I’m doing an especially good job


          • Broadsword calling Danny Boy says:

            Now that Chris Huhne – he’s an honest chap you can always rely on.


          • Allegedly says:

            Allegedly – has Christopher Booker been sold a dummy by John Hemmings MP such that Hemmings is so suborned to the judiciary and Booker hence to the unlawful ‘Media laws’ (made up by bent judges to protect their trade)?


        • 88
          Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

          The Middle East might not be the only place to have a major armed conflict. I wouldn’t be surprised if we see rebellions and civil wars in several EU nations in a few years’ time. At some point, the people might just decide they’ve had enough shit from the political classes.


          • Gonk says:

            Go on, say it ! You know you want to.


          • Britain a now ruined country. says:

            I have definately had enough of the ruination of this country now – just how long do you think it would be before there was a civil war here especially if the thin blue line decide they too have had enough of the decimation of their force? Two days is my estimate.


          • GCHQ says:

            Oooh, incitement to riot! We’ll pass your details onto SO13…


    • 54
      simon r says:

      Agreed stop anyone in the street / pub / supermarket and ask for their opionion and they will say they don’t give a toss. It is just a Labour smokescreen to hide the fact that they have no answers on anything.


      • 111
        Widescreen2010 says:

        That is the standard Tory line as spouted by Barroness Warsi etc.
        But it is just not true.
        This level of corruption and collusion is rightly fascinating.
        Pass the popcorn and keep it coming.
        I’m praying for a spectacular ending.


        • 121
          Baroness Warsi says:

          Excuse me I don’t spout, I sprout. On my soon to be released cookery programme


        • 210
          I Remember You Hoo says:

          Not so sure Widescreen.

          Most people I know are worried about the future not the past and whether they will have work in the coming 18 months, the cost of fuel and energy, immigration and the economy.
          Not some slebs phone being hacked for gossip ten ye@rs ago.
          Of course for anoraks and obsessivs I’m sure it’s re@lly interesting, for more normal people, it’s nothing, not even a blip on the radar.


  12. 24
    ToryWanker says:

    Boris for PM – wouldn’t make much difference but at least PMQ’s would be much more fun!


    • 43

      Boris ; i respond to the erm..erm…the…erm..erm..honourable..erm..wassisname..of the erm..whoever they are..the red party over there…I say.. that the assertion..that this government has wasted money is more than any rational human being could be expected to take. the … serial money wasters. They are pecuniary stranglers. They are capital confiscators. They represent the very worst of a cash-convertor society, of the loosest moral financial disciplines.
      The leader of the …erm…them…would eat your wad. Wallop your wealth and whip your wage to build some awful, monolithic, bureaucratic, edifice to unproductivity.


    • 44
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      I think Boris is actually a Tory, I’m sure I heard him talk about “cutting taxes”


      • 79

        Are you sure he didn’t refer to “C.unting taxes” – when he was talking to c.unting Ken?.


      • 82
        sockpuppet #4 says:

        Maybe. But I still don’t know what sort of a parallel universe it is where a conservative politician makes up a bus.

        I was under a strange delusion that any conservative after 1974 would think that private bus companies should make the decision.


  13. 25
    The BBC says:

    We will not be beaten, we are the real seat of power in the UK.


    • 35
      The EU says:

      Don’t get above yourself, remember who gives the orders around here these days.


      • 57
        The IMF says:

        Now we have the UK Taxpayer Oiks money you’ll soon come grovelling


      • 329
        EU Flag Burner says:

        I’m going to burn another EU flag in Bournemouth very soon – perhaps outside the Town Hall where they are all EUloons & Zioloons – but mostly they’re very old senile Knuts who need washing out to sea like the Bournemouth Surf Reef.

        F The EU – burn the lot of it – the sooner the better.


  14. 27
    Jeffrey Bernard says:

    Will she want revenge? Not methinks against husband’s old school friend. Against Liebour almost certainly: I predict lots of texts about PJ parties plus a refutation of Broon’s complaints about the publication of Fraser’s CF diagnosis.


    • 33
      Show Biz for ugly people says:

      I wonder if she’ll explain her husband throwing away a laptop / iPad and other assorted documentation into a bin in an underground carpark?


      • 39
        Charlie B. says:

        It was an easy mistake, who hasn’t done the same thing from time to time?


      • 40
        Show Biz for ugly people says:

        “Not methinks against husband’s old school friend.”

        her husband who was thrown to the dogs along with his wife? Think the good will may have dissipated since then

        btw Mr Brooks was 3 years above Cast Iron @ Eton, so unless he was Charlie’s catamite I very much doubt they were school ‘friends’


  15. 29
    Flame-haired beauty says:

    I’m sure you’ll understand that I can’t say anything that may prejudice… well, actually, I can’t say anything.


  16. 32
    8 Ace - £1.49 says:

    You know, I rather think I would


  17. 34
    Holly says:

    Incoming txt message..
    ‘Dave’. What you havin’ for dinner’?
    ‘ Chicken’.
    ‘Dave, I hate chicken’.
    Reply, ‘So do I but don’t tell Sam’…LOL.

    Is it this sort of bilge we are going to give our lugholes ‘honour’ of hearing about?
    I doubt very much they will be that enlightening, or show much about ‘murky’, ‘underhand’ deals, when they were meeting in person at various shindigs.
    Who knows they may not all be only to Cameron either.


    • 45
      The Grand Poohbar's Poodle's Flea says:

      As a wife of our British Prime Minister, Sam’s chicken is automatically beyond suspicion.


  18. 38
    Steve Miliband says:

    Dave seems quite relaxed that the Enquiry that he set up will see emails and texts he sent to Mrs Brooks. Suggests they must be tame


    • 48
      Show Biz for ugly people says:

      How do you know Dave’s state of mind on this?

      Can you confirm he’s relaxed because he isn’t running around in circles wringing his hands and shouting “Oh Shit, Oh Shit, I’m ruined, Rebekah’s going to fuck me over!”?

      Not sure he’d do that in public.


      • 59
        Steve Miliband says:

        would be arguing against disclosure?


        • 94
          Show Biz for ugly people says:


          in the context of the ‘most transparent government in history’ trying to cover up emails and texts between himself and a tabloid editor would make things so much better wouldn’t it?


    • 256
      Tony Blair says:

      I appear to have accidentally shredded all my texts


  19. 47
    who why what where when says:

    When is Levenson going to start looking at links between the former Labour Government and the Daily Mirror?


    • 62
      BBC says:

      Sorry but you lost us at looking


    • 77
      Olde Tymer says:

      He said yesterday – see comments on earlier Guido threads – that he was minded to delay any further investigation into any Press previous misbehaviour for at least 18 months. He’s already trying to kick the ball into touch and the players have not even arrived at the ground yet. He will need watching carefully to make sure he does not get away with it. The other Labour brown-nosing papers and the BBC are in need of a good kick up their jacksies too.


    • 80
      ???????? says:

      I think you’ve misunderstood the purpose


    • 109
      Anonymous says:

      When is the inquiry into the sinking of the Titanic going to realise that he should be addressing the issue of how many other ships are lacking sufficient lifeboats and stop focussing on the completely irrelevant freezing to death of more than 1,00 people in the icy waters of the north atlantic, with the notable exception of kate winsletm, who was saved of course after her romantic yet cold interlude with blah blah


      • 130
        Davey Cameron's bumsex army says:

        No surprise that Kate survived – no lack of buoyancy there


  20. 51
    a non says:

    It would be intriguing to know what questions core participants Watson and Bryant have asked / requested / demanded that Jay does not ask without stirring the pot concerning 1997- 2010 [that never occurred]


  21. 52
    Anonymous says:

    Why on earth is Leveson interviewing people who are facing criminal charges? Brookes lawyers have already put down a marker that she cannot get a fair trial. Is Leveson deliberately trying to sabotage prosecutions of Dave’s mates? Is this why Dave is so keen for Hunt to go there?


    • 65
      Answers on a postal vote says:

      1. To queer the pitch

      2. Yes

      3. Yes


    • 231
      Sir William Waad says:

      Yes, this is one of the purposes of the enquiry. The other purpose is to come up with 94 pages of recommendations so that HMG can ignore any good ones and pick the one that says that all newspapers must have their content approved in advance bythe Ministry of Truth.


  22. 56
    Muslims are destroying this country says:

    Let’s call a spade a spade: Respect is a criminal outfit populated by rancid, violent muslim thugs. Galloway is a disgrace.

    The Evening Standard reports on voter intimidation at Tower Hamlets.

    It was feared today that activists were “harassing” potential voters. Mr Smith said: “I came down here at about 10am and there were at least 20 Labour and Respect activists handing out leaflets just outside. Election rules state very clearly that each party is only allowed one teller outside each polling station, the rest must be a safe distance away.

    “I complained to the official inside and when I came back out the Respect guy started mouthing off to me. When I told him what they were doing is not allowed, he threatened to punch my lights out.

    “It’s amazing that this is still going on around here. The groups that gather outside are very intimidating. With all the problems we’ve had in Tower Hamlets this is the last thing we need.”


    • 66
      Peppers Ghost says:

      But apart from that what is wrong with them


    • 89
      rick says:

      Don’t blame the Muzzies. They were invited here with open arms by successive British governments (that’s right, the ones you voted for).
      Any complaints from the indigenous population were routinely dismissed as the ravings of “toy town Nazis”.
      Enjoy the result and stop complaining.


      • 114
        Censorship says:

        That’s right for at least 30 years it was put about that people who wanted to control immigration were racists. It was not even allowed to be discussed on the BBC.


    • 177
      Bollocks Broadcasting Corporation says:

      It is unlikely that this will find its way into our news bulletins.


  23. 60
    Sorry I can't answer that says:

    As they are under Plod watch it will be a very narrow line of questioning but they have booked Wade in for a full day.


  24. 63
    Ken Livingstone says:


  25. 68
    Quisling says:


    QI Prat living off repe@t fees


  26. 71
    Eye Spy MP says:


  27. 73
    simon r says:


    Miranda Bryant finds one of Ken’s neighbours who is “desperate” to vote Livingstone – but forgot to register.

    Fitzgerald Samuels, one of Ken’s neighbours, likes the Labour candidate because he “smiles all the time”.
    But he has just discovered he is not registered to vote.
    Mr Samuels, 62, a TfL worker, said: “I was trying to vote for Ken because he’s very nice and smiles all the time.
    “Technically he could win but a lot of people are saying that Boris will win, hopefully Boris won’t mess it up this time and he’ll do what he said he was going to do.”



    • 85
      Olde Tymer says:

      Didn’t Boris sat he was going to fully automate the tube lines so all these pesky front end of the train operatives would no longer be required?


      • 338
        Haribo Halfwit says:

        It’s a project that cannot come to fruition for at least a decade, at least where the sub-surface lines are concerned. Getting the rest of the network fully automated will probably take well take the project into the next.

        Bob Crow’s cold dead hands will then have to be prised off the button marked ‘STRIKE’.


  28. 76
    The Watson Watcher. says:

    There isn’t anyone more odious than Tom (Billy Bunter lookalike) Watson.


  29. 84
    Australian hilarity says:

    I can’t believe this didn’t make it onto this site. It was shown on Brillo’s programme. Prepare yourself for the most sycophantic politician ever.


    • 86
      Anonymous says:



    • 87
      The Grand Poohbar's Poodle's Flea says:

      Er, we saw this the other day on this site.


    • 173
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      I must admit I thought it was a parody of an unbelievably sycophtic politician, when I first saw it and thought it was quite a good spoof. It was gobsmacking to discover that he was for re@l and people had actually voted for the clown.

      Labour MP’s, are as shite there as here it seems.


  30. 91
    Anonymous says:

    anyone else having issues posting?


  31. 95
    Anonymous says:

    I’m glad I listened to the world at one on radio 4 before voting. I was going to vote for Boris but after hearing that the conservatives are responsible for the a mess this country is in and that it was nothing to do with the great leader g brown I voted for ken.

    Democracy is strengthened by having party political broadcasts in favour of labour on election day before the polls close; having them for any other party would weaken it.


  32. 100
    Raving Loon says:

    I’m probably not the only one here who knows who Ron Paul is, or who has seen this video:


  33. 102
    The Met Cowboys (Combining The Skills of SO19 & Mounted Branch) says:

    Anyone want a horse?


    • 344
      Snake-oil-salesman cum quack says:

      F O to SO19 and all its FTAC mates – suborned to the then Government of Labour

      The Police have been totally ‘politicised’ since at least 2002.


  34. 106
    dr. sipp says:

    if camerons texts are anything like mine—hes fooooked


  35. 108
    Dave's friends and colleagues in the nick says:

    Dave don’t half have some dodgy acquaintances.

    Mr Brooks.. arrested
    Mrs Brooks.. arrested
    Andy Coulson.. arrested
    Chris Huhne.. arrested


    • 118
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Huhne a friend of Cameron’s? Have you banged your head?


      • 266
        Dave's friends and colleagues says:

        An aquaintance or a colleague does not have to be a friend. But how many people that you are close to have been arrested and charged?


  36. 115
    Tower Hamlets says:


    • 120
      Instant dismissal says:

      They must be disqualified immediately. That is the only action that will stop intimidation at the ballot box recurring. Where do they think they are, P’kistan?


      • 152
        Its a very wet place says:

        Bangladesh. They left Pakistan because it wasn’t democratic enough.


      • 159
        Eco-mongs should be used for fuel says:

        “Chris Smith, standing for the Greens .. claimed that one activist threatened to “punch his lights out””

        I think that’s a perfectly understandable reaction when encountering a member of the Green Party.


        • 205
          Selohesra says:

          Surely putting out unnecessary lights is a green energy saving policy and to be applauded


    • 202
      jgm2 says:

      The thought of Labour and Respect’s thugs in a intimidating the voters stand-off is fantastic. Just what we need. A nice split vote for Boris.


  37. 116
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Rebecca Brooks first target will be Tom Watson, followed by Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband. Cameron comes a long way down the list.


  38. 117
    Ken rolls out the heavywieghts says:


    • 125
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      As if I need anymore reasons not to vote for the slimy ponce.


    • 126
      Peppers Ghost says:

      Obviously reinforcements needed. To the suspension


    • 136
      nellnewman says:

      Well there’s been a complete absence of labour mp’s cheering ken on so I suppose she and galloway are the next best thing.

      Is there any tax deductible champagne on that battle bus?


    • 139
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Which one is the comedian?


    • 144
      big flobbin pigmunter says:

      cakes, sex, cakes…
      oh my she is hilarious…


    • 146
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Be still, my heart…


    • 192
      Sir Keith Josephs Preserved Head says:

      Why do “showbiz” types support Labour en masse?


      • 220
        I Remember You Hoo says:

        Easy, they are emotional cripples, unable to think outside the herd mentality. It happens among people who pretend for a living. A massive guilt process kicks in when they get paid huge amounts to basically do what all children do, play pretend.


    • 235
      A Bus Driver says:

      Everybody else move to the rightbside of the bus before it tips over!!


  39. 122
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Could someone at the BBC remind Stephanie Flanders to vote today, or has a labour limousine picked her up already.


    • 128
      Mo's Taxis says:

      On the way down now mate, from Salford. Be there in 5-10 minutes


    • 138
      Subverting democracy, one of Labour's effnic postal voter says:

      We have been votings on Stephanie’s behalf several hundred timeses.

      Purely so she will nots be havings to go out in street like naked whore without burqa, you understands.


  40. 124
    Cato Street Conspirator says:

    I think we’re all going to be disappointed.


  41. 132
    Weybridgeman says:

    Taxi for Mr Cameron!


  42. 134
    Thomas from Tonna says:

    Why is my Prime Minister e mailing this person from work?

    She is only the wife of one of his old school chums.

    Other than this and a love of horses they do no appear to have anything else in common.

    I find it all very strange.


  43. 135
    I don't need no doctor says:

    The BBC is wetting itself over passenger delays at Heathrow passport control. Could it be the lazy fucking union members that cause the delays. Of course this fact will be deliberately missed by the BBC.


    • 142
      BBC says:

      The persecuted brothers at border control need a 4 hour break every 20 minutes. Serving lots of customers with a cheery smile is hard you know.


    • 147
      A man in a chair says:

      Whilst I generally pin the blame for the mess on the imbecile that is Theresa May, you may have a point. Dave should have sacked all civil servants who are members of unions, just to be on the safe side. It would have also gone a long way to reducing the deficit.


      • 153
        I don't need no doctor says:

        I’ve checked the BBC records, and there was not a single passenger delay at Heathrow between 1997 and 2010. However since the coalition government delays are too numerous to mention. The BBC can find no evidence of lazy fucking union members not working hard enough.


        • 170
          A man in a chair says:

          Theresa did get rid of a few of the staff, and then tell them they had to check every detail of everyone passing through the gates, so delays don’t surprise me too much.

          Two questions spring to mind: (a) are the staff now checking details too slowly, to create delays and therefore safeguard their own jobs “you can’t sack us, look at the queues!”? and (b) from 1997-2010, were they simply letting people go straight through without checks? Which might explain the million+ illegal immigrants in Britain.


        • 174
          A man in a chair says:

          Theresa did get rid of a few of the staff, and then tell them they had to check every detail of everyone passing through the gates, so delays don’t surprise me too much.

          Two questions spring to mind: (a) are the staff now checking details too slowly, to create delays and therefore safeguard their own jobs “you can’t sack us, look at the queues!”? and (b) from 1997-2010, were they simply letting pe*ople go str*aight through without che*cks? Which might explain the million+ il*legal im*migr*ants in Brit*ain.


          • I don't need no doctor says:

            Careful, you are getting too near the truth.


          • Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

            I don’t care, fuckers can queue for hours. If you don’t like it don’t come here.

            I don’t want to be blown up by some fuck wit who has been to a training camp in Pakistan or the Yemen.


      • 156
        Quisling says:

        If the government could ever get its sh1t together with IT, we could replace most of border control with biometrics as easy as replacing underground ‘drivers’

        But that is just asking for to much I suppose


  44. 148
    Pedro says:

    There is an old gypsy saying that you should never look a gift horse in the mouth.

    I thought I would share this with you all although I do not have a clue what I am talking about.

    In fact people say I am mad because I have even been known to throw top of the range laptop computers into public dustbins.


  45. 154
    hey ho, whats up says:

    Authorities still looking for cause of chemical odor in central Israel


  46. 157
    not a machine says:

    I would think I will catagorise these elections , as a bit of a one for the artists of politics , bit of a political cliff hanger in some respects and perhaps some lag in what labour did , we shall see as some of the results roll in although , London not done until sunday .
    Other than that after this round I think it is me done , no point in trying , to get any sense into the system , if they make it all uphill and anti democratic and turn my values into a theme park , if the masters of wonk want it that way , to its bitter conclusion so be it .
    If ken ends up opening the olympics , i can only conclude that the Torys have strategically lost some time ago .


  47. 163
    David One-term Cameron says:

    I know you all want me to support the Indian Space Program’s effort to establish a new call centre on the moon. Vote for my party and get Conned again.


  48. 167
    Yvonne from the Colliers Arms Clydach says:

    I really think my Prime Minister should have made it perfectly clear and been entirely open as to what exactly is his relationship with this woman.

    The only person I feel sorry for is that Mrs Cameron as she has done nothing wrong and slaves away in that flat above the office looking after his children.

    I do not know how she puts up with him and his temper tantrums.

    She has my sympathy.

    When my Prime Minister eventually explains what the hell has been going on I
    hope he does so under oath. As he pointed out to that Mr Milligan last week the truth always sounds better when it is given under oath.


  49. 168
    Hopeless Romantic says:

    I think Rebekah Brooks is quite the flame-haired beauty, which fills me with all the more sadness that she was lost to the dark side.

    Redeem yourself rebekah! Spill out all the secrets you hold about the rotten cabal that misrules us.


    • 179
      She could also redeem herself by says:

      Letting me pump my jizzum down the back of her throat.


  50. 175
    PC Pinkerton says:

    I do like that Gordon Brown, such a thrifty family man


  51. 181
    Johnny Black and Blue says:

    Who’s the fleshy toff with port burn on cheeks behind Crystal Tips? Looks a right twat!


  52. 182
    Legal Beagle says:

    Mr and Mrs Brooks have both been arrested

    They are out on bail

    There are pending criminal proceedings against them

    How the hell can Levinson and his legal comboys intervene now without interfering in the criminal proceedings in suich a way that the Brooks can claim a mistrial ?

    Or is this a deliberate way to muddy the waters and get them off the hook ?


    • 262
      Friggin Miss Miggin says:

      Something smells odd here, no wait that was last night’s asparagus.


  53. 184
    Fair and balanced says:


    You write as if these Brooks are just anyone turning up at Levison

    They have been arrested for obstruction of justice along with the head of security (sic) of News International

    They have paid bail

    Dave has been frollicking for years with people (old Etonian and his wife in this case) who may soon easily be behind bars as common criminals

    Even Mandelson did not do that…


    • 185
      Citizen Murdoch says:

      I did say before Leveson that I had spent “hundreds of millions of dollars” to “clear up this mess”

      If you know what I mean



    • 199
      David One-term Cameron says:

      Can anyone drop in ? Just a mo, I’ll get my hacking jacket.


    • 211
      from the global HQ the prime mincer says:

      I think you’ll find I did….


    • 260
      illogical says:

      No problems
      Andy will keep his Coul-son and those expecting babbling Brooks are in for a disappointment. Has nobody spotted the obvious.
      Mr Slime has suddenly / coincidentally arrived back in town hoping to become Lord Slime and re-engage. With Andy And Bekka knowing where the bodies are buried for each and every party involved for the last 15 years it will be a Mexican standoff.
      Lots of denial, forgetfullness and general back scratching.
      Leveson will get his Leveson II and if he plays the game right, even a ‘Leveson – The return’ { The Magnificent Leveson] may be on the cards if Fox films are pleased. “The farmers win- They always win”
      Not one soul will receive any just desserts.


      • 280
        nellnewman says:

        Well this is a uniquely British Inquiry. It is honour bound to be a whitewash and follow in the footsteps of other ‘notable’ Inquiries such as hutton and chilcot.


  54. 189
    George Osborne says:

    here’s a fine example of a company with its priorities right

    fuck the workers its the directors who matter most


    • 214
      jgm2 says:

      Fuck the MG workers. When they had a job the lazy c*unts wouldn’t do it. They spent two or more decades grinding down the company and producing absolute pieces of shite with their fucking hands out demanding that we, the taxpayer, subsidise them to produce their utter crap. Crap that the c*unts wouldn’t even buy themselves. The day Michael Edwards (was it?) took over and banned non Leyland vehicles from the c*a*r park the place was deserted.

      If these c*unts want to take it out on anybody (although I agree that Phoenix Four crowd were nothing but a bunch of opportunist crooks) I suggest they go around to their fathers and their uncles and beat the shit out of them. Because they’re the c*unts who destroyed the company.


  55. 196
    Mirror says:


  56. 201
    The Labour Party says:


  57. 204
    Olympic Hopeful says:

    Well, about this time every day I take a walk down the garden and jump in the swimming pool. Today all I have to do is open the back door!


    • 216
      jgm2 says:

      It all the fault of the drought caused by global warming climate change.


      • 237
        An overpaid water company executive says:

        Somebody recently told me that I should put the plug in the plughole when I have a bath!


  58. 206
    Newswatch says:

    Potential new clues in the you know who case have been passed to British detectives on the fifth anniversary of her disapp3@rance.

    Logs of around 100 pieces of information sent to Crimestoppers have emerged that were never sent to investigators in Port gal or the UK.
    The logs contain details supplied by psychics and others who claimed to have dreamed what happened to u know who


  59. 207
    on the ball says:

    ronnies through….


  60. 215
    genghiz the kahn says:

    So tell me Ed ith he a pwedator or pwoduther?

    Looks as if one of the Balls brothers knows how to make money faster than the other would tax it.


  61. 232
    The wrong Miliband says:

    Hod your doth and vote for the parathite party.


    • 247
      Tay King-dePisse says:

      Oh, sure, Ed Miliband is who I go to when I want to know all about noses, right?


  62. 236
    Chinaman says:

    As part of our plan for world domination we have bought one of your favourite breakfast cereals. From now on it will be known as



  63. 240
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Must say my local polling station seems much busier than I’ve seen it before.

    Has anyone checked for thought control waves emanating from the television?


  64. 242
    A turkey says:

    must vote for Christmas ….. must vote for Christmas …..


  65. 244
    David swivel-eyed Cameron says:

    Mine is the greenest government ever – we haven’t got a fucking clue.


  66. 245
    How to bytch on the phone? says:

    Oh when the shoe is on the other foot.


  67. 246
    annette cuton says:

    Although I am on the electoral register I never got a polling card, never mind I expect somebody will save me the trouble and do it for me, several times.


    • 248
      Beast of Brick Lane says:

      Consider it a done deal
      Insh Allah


    • 254
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Ken sends a big thank you for your 25 votes. A minaret will be named in your honour – annette minaret – I think you will agree it has a certain je ne sais quois.


  68. 249
    I don't need no doctor says:

    So Aviva shareholders have voted against bonus payments etc. to their executives.
    What about executives at the BBC. Surely they should have a massive cut to their salaries and expenses.
    Does the Channel 4 CEO’s cleaner receive a living salary.
    Does John Snow at Channel 4 have his salary paid through a company he has set up.
    Let all the hypocrites be outed. I wonder how many of the media have salaries paid through companies they have had set up. Answers are needed!


  69. 253
    Ah! Monika says:

    A professional golfer from Wales has been recognised for her role as a successful Muslim woman in sport.

    Err can we have a Christian one legged black lesbian in Sport award?


  70. 258
    UK politics needs a giant enema says:

    Oppose the LibLabConfidence tricksters – give them the kicking they so richly deserve.


  71. 259
    Bird nest loafer says:

    I’m done scouring the horizon for a glimpse of any sighting of a non News International story on phone hacking/media abuse. Anyone know if Mirror Group are likely to attend to answer questions?


  72. 267
    Jethlo-Rotus-Brossom says:

    On the othel hand… five fingles! You see, I know yo’ yokes! No: seliousry. Flom now on: Awr Coln Frakes wi’ be flom Kerroggs; ‘Shledded Whea’ can sti’ be carred ‘Shledded Whea'; Qakle O’s wi’ sti’ be ab’e ca’ i’ ‘Pollidge’ (We rike when Folin Devirs have to pollidge! Is Chinese Yoke: velly ord!!); Sugle Puff lemain same (we go’ be calefur not upset Puffs – oh, so plecious! – no wan’ Rawlers… Soricitols! Ballistels!) – same wi’ Glape Nuts (they sti’ makin’ them? WHY??); Flosties lemain same – an’, o’ coulse, Lice Klispies: prenny plotein in them! Den, The Furr Engish Bleakfas: flied blead, flied (or glirred – is hearthiel!) Bacon, Sausage, Mushloom, hundled-yeal-ord’ egg (is ‘nothel Chinese Yoke! Is nothel Chinese Yolk: two fo’ plice one!)


  73. 270
    The BBC Propaganda machine says:

    Can’t understand why the sheeple think the BBC is a nice kind Aunt and Rupes a wicked old man.

    I thought it was the BBC who sent thugs around sink estates entrapping single mums into signing statements that will give them a criminal record for life. And it was Rupes who just charge them for what they watched.


    • 272

      YOU WILL PAY!!!


      • 275
        the BBC is communism in action. says:

        The BBC will resist pay per view until the pips squeek as they know their income would drop off a cliff when people have a choice of what to pay to watch.


        • 283
          Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          Exactly, the BBC got away by sticking their noses into how the ‘freeview’ system was setup.

          But I don’t care, the BBC should be told that it must go pay per view and people will have to buy a card or a decoder box (supplied by the BBC scum) if they want to watch.

          Of course the leftist scum won’t support that. Every day some bell end is allowed on to Radio 5 to claim that “I’d pay double for the BBC”.

          Well mongs you can do, but for those that think the BBC is a leftist piss hole, bye bye.


      • 285
        Mornington Crescent says:

        Oh, do shut up, you dopey bint. If that’s the quality of students from “uni” these days, no wonder we’re fucked.

        I don’t have a licence either because I don’t have a TV. I told the fuckers so; the inspectors from Crapita came around; I let them have a nose around; they went away happy (not least because they had a polite welcome). Everyone’s happy – except the BBC. No more reminders. Get a life.


      • 287
        Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        Ah but the licence is for any device that is CAPABLE of receiving a live TV signal. In fact she needs a licence for the Playstation as I think that can also receive live TV?


        • 291
          Quisling says:

          You can use the BBC iPlayer app without a license (and 4oD etc)


        • 319
          The BBC has a political agenda says:

          No, that is no longer correct. As long as you do not watch live BBC, a licence is not required. I would guess though that the hired licence enforcement goons do not explain this to their targets who confess to recording live BBC.

          There is no doubt that the BBC expanded into the internet in order to increase its income in the hope that watching is all that matters as far as a licence is concerned and this has been a total failure for them.


  74. 276
    Question time live chat says:


    • 279
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      I liked that line one of your posters used about the Bbbc yesterday: “supports more than it reports”.

      Spot on.


  75. 278
    Hmmmm says:


    • 302
      Fog on the Tyne says:

      Isn’t she the one who’s too agitated and depressed to stand trial?


    • 345
      Dr Kellys Ghost says:

      You’re not out of the woods yet Dugher – even if you have become an MP.


  76. 284
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    So how will we know Boris has won?

    Easy, the BBC will ignore the vote or will get in lots of leftists to moan about “vote rigging” in London or “dirty tricks” by Boris. Ignoring the fact it was Red Ken who has simply got no support and is corrupt from top to bottom.


  77. 288
    Stu says:

    Why the fucking hell won’t the Guardian hypocrites like White let you comment on the garbage they write? But of course the Guardian and the BBC are beacons of truth in this world dominated by the evil of Murdoch.

    Fat boy Watson is is only motivated by a desire to see justice done. God there’s only so much bullshit I can take.


  78. 290

    This week on the Biased BBC’s Question Time show Mr David Dimbledor chairs a set up debate with a hand picked lefty audience from good old Londanistan.

    The panel includes:
    Work and pensions secretary Iain Duncan Smith,
    Labour’s deputy leader Harriet Harperson,
    Former leader of the Libdums Ming Mong Campbell,
    Leader of the PCS union and all round Commie Mark Serwotka,
    And our very own Greek Arthur Daily of Dragons’ Den Mr Theo Paphitis.

    Starts 10:30pm, all are welcome :)

    Find us here —–>


    • 294
      annette curton says:

      doomed i tell ee, we are all doomed!


      • 300
        nellnewman says:

        Well listening to hattieharpic and SirWot?ka we shall all die laughing

        I know nothing of dragonsden but ming and ids might give the biased proceedings some gravitas.


    • 303
      Anonymous says:

      You should know that the BBC only stage such events to give the impression that we live in a democracy which doesn’t run a state broadcasting service that North Korea would be proud of.


    • 307
      Gonk says:

      Tie me to a tree and call me Ptolemy, not bleedin Harriet Harpyeagle
      and Iain Duncan ‘phlegm cough’ Smith again. Oh God British politics.
      I know, I’ll self harm or board up the attic, or cut my toe nails.


    • 312
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Will Duncan Smith be allowed to speak without continual interruption from Dimbleby – No.
      Will Harman be allowed to rant on and on making political points by Dimbleby – Yes
      Will Serwotka be the most hypocritical parasite in the UK – Yes


      • 314
        I don't need no doctor says:



    • 315
      Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

      Interstin C4 news had a spurious piece about a cleaner woh cleans Iain Duncan Smith’s office complaining about working for a pittence. It seems the cleaner left him a note (which seemed to be written by a someone other than the cleaner) begging for more money.

      I wonder if that will come up on QT tonight. Not that I’ll be watching the shit.


  79. 292
    nellnewman says:

    How is twatson going to justify his existence when this boring murdoch rubbish has died out?


  80. 293
    Anonymous says:

    The Labour Party – subsidised by the unions, NOT implicitly by their members.
    The BBC – subsidised by the license fee on threat of imprisonment.
    The Guardian – part subsidised by a monopoly on public sector advertisements (surely illegal in any other democracy), and making an overall loss.

    A three pronged attack upon the freedoms of the citizens of the UK. Somebody should take these fuckers to court, they’re running little more than a protection racket based on mafia principles.


  81. 308
    Are we living in the North Korea of the west? says:

    The Labour Party – subsidised by the union bosses NOT implicitly by their members.
    The BBC – subsidised by the license fee on threat of imprisonment.
    The Guardian – subsidised by a mоnороly of public sector advertisements, which surely should be illegal in a fair and open market.
    Scotland – subsidised by us.


  82. 310
  83. 318
    The Tower Hamlets Election Lottery Rollover says:

    The polls are shut.

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.


  84. 331
    blowingWhistles says:

    Please don’t forget Kevin Maguire – is a pillock – he’ll probably get Sly Baileys job ….


  85. 336
    PC clitoris says:

    lets hope camoron has been stuck up the ginger bitches minge and their lass gives him a good kick in the bollicks.


  86. 340
    Synic says:

    The Westminster cesspit continues obsess about corrupt relations with the media. It was and is a fact of life due to the need to peddle fantasies to the sheeple and get re-elected in this crap democratic system. Meanwhile the deficit for yesterday was £300m. That’s five pounds extra debt for you personally dear reader.


Seen Elsewhere

UKIP Mosque Confusion | The Week
Let’s Ban the Word Internet | Padraig Reidy
Are the Broadcasters Ready For the Election? | Specccie
Moral Bankruptcy of the BBC | David Keighley
UKIP’s ‘Starsky and Hutch’ | Total Politics
Innocent Sun Journo Just Doing Her Job | Sun
Boris Sent Up North | Times
The Only Way to Mend the EU | Leo McKinstry
Northern Labour Tearing Party Apart | David Aaronovitch
Osborne is Son of Brown | Peter Oborne
Uber Needs to Mind Its Manners | CapX

Find out more about PLMR AD-MS

Tony Blair threatens Ed:

“If you had a strong political lead that was combining the politics of aspiration with the politics of compassion, I still think that’s where you could get a substantial majority…  If I ever do an interview on [the state of the Labour Party], it will have to be at length…”

Left on Left says:

The lefties are attacking because the panellist is a millionaire and lives in a London home worth upwards of two million. Someone had best tell them he’s called Ed Miliband.

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