May 1st, 2012

Men In Tights Skirt Around Issue

The men in tights at the Commons have come up with a solution to stop our elected Members beating each other up in drunken rages:

· a wider range of non-alcoholic drinks and lower strength beers will be provided in catering outlets
· staff serving alcohol would receive further training and support in refusing to serve customers when necessary
· at receptions and events where alcohol was served, glasses would be topped up less frequently

Guido has a better idea. Just remove the £5 million annual subsidy…


260 Comments

  1. 1
    Would you be suprised? says:

    Erm, are our mps so unfit for purpose that they need guido on how to drink?

    Like

    • 6
      Mr Ireland I presume? says:

      Tim, you meant to write “… need advice from Guido on how to drink…”

      Like

      • 14
        Make Britain Great! Napalm every council estate! says:

        Perhaps he’s had a few already.

        Like

        • 68
          The Old Todger says:

          Probably an even better idea would be close ALL the bars, sell off all the wines, spirits and beers that should bring a tide sum of money, the HOC is supposed to be a place of work where the workforce are supposed to be clear headed while legislating, if they want to booze, OK, plenty of dives around HOP, when entering the actual house they should be breathalysed, any that fail, banned from entering the house until can can pass the test. It may sound harsh but airline pilots and railway engine drivers have to have some sort of test.

          Like

          • The Old Todger says:

            What’s up now, yes that means no hospitality beer, wines and spirits ie no freebies

            Like

          • A train driver says:

            +1000

            Like

          • Sir Prof Roy Meadows says:

            Bettter Idea – make every MP undergo a full ‘psychiatric evaluation / test’ every six months to see if they are ‘fit for purpose’.

            My highly paid accolytes, legion of friends and I as expert witnesses with the ability to lie with impunity (Thanks for that M’luds – brown envelopes in the post as per usual overriding objective) need the fees as our purposefulness in the secret family courts seems to be coming to an end – due to them damn peasents having found us out.

            There’s big bucks to be made out of this one.

            Like

          • Head of unlegal says:

            On a more legal note – how long does it take… no… is it going to take Carl G to ‘moderate’ Master Steve’s summary of why Hunt should be done for absolute and overt bias?

            Guido doesn’t take that long to make a decision.

            Like

          • How odd Miaooow! says:

            Wow Miaoooow the comment before unlegal was pulled rather quickly – raw nerves … touchy touchy subject matter Shrinks ‘n all their mates

            Like

        • 114
          Fred West Paving Ltd says:

          theyre unfit for the office of MP

          Like

          • Gordon Brown says:

            NURSE!!!!!! I’ve shit myself again – can I push it under the carpet???

            Like

          • Sack Vichy Dave - Elect a Tory says:

            ramping up the price of our booze whilst subsidizing their booze with our bloody money really is a c/unts trick

            Like

      • 156
        A Charming Martini says:

        are our mps so unfit for purpose that they need guidohing on how to drink?

        Like

    • 21
      Mine d'Boggles says:

      Not really, they just need a £5 million subsidy removed (without delay)

      Like

    • 110
      Icarus says:

      Has the price of booze ever stopped Guido? How long has the driving ban to go?

      Like

    • 219
    • 232
      Polythesis says:

      What other place of work allows and funds boozing on site? Governance and the business of state is supposed to be of the greatest importance and yet those working in this institution are not only allowed to carry out the business of state under the influence of alcohol quite often they are pissed when attending votes. As we have to face ever more draconian restrictions on drinking what kind of message does it send out? One rule for them and one for us.

      Like

  2. 2
    George Galloway MP says:

    Like

  3. 3
    MrAngry61 says:

    Remove the subsidy by all means. However MPs are paid enough to buy too many full priced drinks. Offering a range of lower alcohol drinks won’t work unless the stronger ones are also banned from the Parliamentary estate.

    Like

  4. 5
    Unpaid sub ed says:

    “with solution ”

    Needs an *a* or *an* ?

    Delete this comment when fixed.

    Like

  5. 7
    Spangles says:

    Close the bars down altogether and let the troughing b*stards pay full price at a pub like everyone else. That goes for their subsidised meals as well. Let them p*ss off to the chippy, or in Militw*t’s case. Gregs Pie shop.

    Like

  6. 8
    Not Today Thank You says:

    Dear Guido Last night a 75 yr old lady ( an aunt ) asked me to check out prices of sewing machines on the internet for her. Today in the middle of your blog column, guess what, adverts for sewing machines. Good Bye.

    Like

  7. 10
    Sandra in accounts says:

    Those bastards just do not get it – why the hell should we taxpayers subsidise bars in Parliament?

    WTF?

    We need to lynch half a dozen of these bastards to get the rest of these public servants minds right.

    We are not fucking tax slaves.

    Like

    • 15
      Spangles says:

      Couldn’t agree more Sandra, I’ve been modded TWICE for saying more or less the same thing. Maybe it was my comment that these greedy feckers should p..i..s..s.. of down the pub & chippie and pay the going rate for their m..e..a..l..s. and drinks.
      Militw*t might like to go to his favourite p..i..e.. shop inste*d.

      Like

    • 19
      Make Britain Great! Napalm every council estate! says:

      “staff serving alcohol would receive further training and support in refusing to serve customers when necessary”

      This is ‘customers’ in the modern NHS sense of the word, isn’t it? In that the NHS doesn’t have ‘patients’, it has ‘customers’.

      The reason I ask is because, if these drinks are being bought with our money, surely the MPs aren’t ‘customers’, they’re more ‘recipients’.

      Like

      • 50
        Expat Geordie says:

        Isn’t it an offence to serve someone when drunk? And isn’t the barman/barmaid/barperson personally liable in the same way that a supermarket checkout operator is personally liable if they sell alcohol to someone underage or drunk? They don’t need training, they just need to enforce the law as it stands.

        Oh, of course, we are dealing with MP’s here – the law doesn’t apply to them, does it?

        Like

        • 84
          The Old Todger says:

          Well it would be a bit like telling your boss that he is too drunk so you refuse to do what he says because he is drunk

          Like

    • 49
      Quantitive Easing We Can Believe In says:

      Why should we pay taxes on booze at all? If the price of booze is too high for our lords and masters, it is too high for us. Abolish tax on booze now.

      Like

    • 95
      AC1 says:

      >We are not fucking tax slaves.

      We are.

      Like

    • 180
      Geoff, England (not Britain or 'United' KIngdom) says:

      Why stop at lynching half a dozen of the bastards? Maybe we should lynch half of all the bastards in Parliament.

      Like

  8. 12
    Sick of the greed and lies(still) says:

    “why not just remove the subsidy?”
    Isn’t that the same as removing the cheap alcohol from the Supermarkets and introducing a minimum price per unit?
    It will never catch on as it’s never been done before.

    Like

    • 76
      I Remember You Hoo says:

      Err, no it’s not the same.

      One is paying, what you consider to be a fair price for a product freely available, in a free market.
      The other is getting someone else ( the taxpaying public ) to subsidise your consumption of the same product, at a price that is unavailable to those paying the subsidy.

      Like

    • 88
      The Old Todger says:

      Or of course set the price at minimum price per unit then the bars would not need subsidising

      Like

    • 97
      AC1 says:

      >Isn’t that the same

      No, not at all.

      Like

  9. 13
    doris johnson says:

    useless twats cant even drink properly and are so tight that taxpayers have to buy their rounds for them MPs really are the lowest leeches these days shame on the pathetic suited wankers

    Like

    • 91
      The Old Todger says:

      Yes Doris, these mps are supposed to be legislating for the people of this country, how can they do that if they are in a boozy fairy land

      Like

      • 173
        LordPeterOfFondlebum says:

        They think more outside the box, having said that a whips gristle up yerBum concentrates the mind wonderfully, it is intensely relaxing.

        Like

  10. 16
    Cradley Heathen says:

    what image is created if you do a dot to dot on the blackheads on Watson’s back?

    Like

  11. 17
    Britain - a now ruined country says:

    Watson has and is behaving with the greatest of hubris – I hope that his nemesis is soon swift and sure and preferably emanates from the Murdoch family.

    Like

  12. 18
    Displaced Brummie says:

    High prices will not stop violent alcohol abusers like Eric Joyce, sad to say.

    Like

  13. 20
    Rupert my Hero says:

    A new government symbol has been approved.

    The government today announced that it is changing its symbol for Parliament to a CONDOM, because it more accurately reflects the government’s political stance….

    A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you’re actually being screwed!

    Damn, it just doesn’t get more accurate than that!

    Like

  14. 25
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Fatty Watson really is making an utter c u n t of himself on TV, the BBC are loving it though.

    Richard ‘snorter’ Bacon was shouting on Radio that “Sky might be closed down”

    The BBC would love that.

    What gets me though is why the Tories defended Murdoch, he’s pissing all over them and not Labour even though Labour are the ones trying to bum fuck him.

    Like

    • 36
      jgm2 says:

      Dave is having his revenge on Murdoch too. Without the Sun supporting Labour for the ten or twelve years prior to 2009 then they (Labour) would have found it a lot harder to destroy the economy, flood the country with third world im*migr*ants, garner support for their insane war in Iraq, stick the boot into the BBC when they needed bringing into line over Iraq etc etc.

      They’d have been lucky to get two election victories let alone three.

      Why should Dave support Murdoch? During the Reign of Terror he (Murdoch) stood down his reporters (if they were ever worthy of the name) and simply reprinted every word of a lie that emerged from Blair and Brown. Praised the economic lunacy to the rafters. And Dave knows that in another year or two, if it looks like the passage of time has worked its magic on the voters, then Murdoch will be back praising the likes of Balls and Miliband.

      Nope. I don’t give a fuck about Murdoch. I’m more exercised by how Labour seem to be getting away with the entire period 1995 – 2009 when they were right up Murdoch’s arse and all this phone-hacking was taking place in lieu of any investigative journalism.

      Like

      • 53
        Well it's a thought says:

        I like the idea of camoron getting his own back on Murdoch for those years using Liebour to destroy him, but I think that’s far too sophisticated an idea for a left wing green idiot like Camoron.

        Like

        • 73
          Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          It’s very true that fatty Watson knows Liebore were aware of the hacking and did nothing about it whilst Murdoch was sucking their cocks.

          But why don’t Tory MP’s kick up more of a fuss in the Commons about it? The Tory right seem to have totally gone missing in action.

          I agree I don’t give a fuck about Murdoch, but I do give a fuck that the vile BBC is being allowed to piss its poison around at my expense.

          Like

          • I Remember You Hoo says:

            “The Tory right seem to have totally gone missing in action.”

            The Tory “right” are an urban myth, sure some tell a good story and some even sound believable. But when it comes right down to the tough stuff, the serious stuff, they just melt away to nothing.

            Like

          • Sophie says:

            The Tory right are now called UKIP.

            Like

          • smoggie says:

            No, those UKippers are the Tory wrong.

            Like

          • Archer Karcher says:

            Ha, ha, smoggie, you wish.

            Unfortunately for you, too many people don’t like Fabian Dave’s socialist ideas. You can try all you like to shore up the faithful like a good brain dead, party tribalist. But in the end, people see right through Cameron and his pathetic attempt to keep Labour’s authoritarian, big state, nannying, socialist legacy, alive.

            Like

          • smoggie says:

            Persuasive recruitment technique you have there – play the man not the ball. Probably explains the army of converts joining the Good Ship Farage. Scientology has more appeal than you lot.

            Like

        • 135
          Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

          Thing is Tom Bradby on ITV pointed out that Labour have declared war on Murdoch and they want to destroy him, yet Murdoch is fighting the Tory party.

          WHY?

          Like

          • Expat Geordie says:

            Because Labour are not in power, are politically irrelevent and ultimately can’t hurt him. The Tories are not acting like proper Tories, and I suspect that he is just provoking them in the hope that a proper one will come along soon. I think that Rupert misses Maggie.

            Like

          • Do me a favour says:

            Tom Watson isn’t fit.

            Like

  15. 27
    rick says:

    All MPs should be micro-chipped. We need to know where they are and what they are up to at any given time – day or night.

    Like

    • 34
      Make Britain Great! Napalm every council estate! says:

      The same result can be achieved with a low-tech solution known as a ‘dungeon’.

      Preferably an airless one, with lots of rats.

      Like

    • 74
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Can we have them all castrated as well?

      Like

  16. 29
    Marmite says:

    We feed these t.ro.ug.hers, clothe them, house them AND furnish said houses. Christ, we even buy their bog rolls. Enough is enough. The greedy, grasping t,w,a,t,s!

    Like

  17. 32
    Peppers Ghost says:

    Removing the subsidy would just increase the expense claim pro rata

    Bunch of sponging troughers the lot of em

    Like

    • 48
      I'm a fool for doing an honest day's work says:

      You know something, I have to feed, clothe, and house myself on my wages, so why shouldn’t they?

      It looks as it Fatso Watson is overdoing it on his food expenses too.

      Like

  18. 37
    Sir Dando Tweakeshafte says:

    Surely the easiest way to improve Westminster’s sobriety is to elect 649 more of Gorgeous George’s co-religionists? (it would reduce the pork-scratchings subsidy, too…)

    Like

  19. 38
    Mad Maggie Moron says:

    Will you lot stop it. You know I’m m.*ntal and can’t stop crying. Shame on you!

    Like

  20. 39
    Pork Life says:

    Who is the gut Lord marching? You need to cut down on your subsidised drinking and pay for it out of your salaries.

    Like

  21. 40
    keredybretsa says:

    Simple no subsidy no bars and the tight fisted dishonourables will have to rub shoulders with normal folk and pay honourable prices.Which I am sure they can all well afford.

    Like

  22. 41
  23. 44
    Widescreen2010 says:

    I despair.
    Every time there is booze-related aggro, out comes the ‘beer too strong’ argument.
    Utter bollocks.
    We already have far too much weak, tastless beer. And too much fighting.
    Proper, full-strength beer is the answer.

    Like

    • 101
      AC1 says:

      GBBF every year tons of heavily pissed up blokes. No fights.

      Reason? They’re generally not wankers.

      Football match, couple of wankers on karlin or fostas and fights all round.

      Like

      • 237
        Lady Virginia Droit de Seigneur says:

        Go to any rugby game – club or international. People drinking more than football fans including in the stands and in the ground after the game. Never a hint of trouble.

        Perhaps it’s not the drink but the fact that a lot of football fans are violent morons.

        Like

      • 238
        Archer Karcher says:

        It’s criminal behaviour that causes social problems not alcohol.

        If courts doubled the sentence for criminal activity by drunks instead of using it as a mitigating factor for more lenient punishment. The number of drunks who used the excuse of ” I am sorry, I was drunk” would plummet. As would their criminal behaviour, once it became apparent that the excuse of drunkeness was socially unacceptable and they were looking at double the punishment, a sober criminal would.

        Like

  24. 47
    Tachybaptus says:

    I read the headline as ‘Men in Tight Skirts …’. Mind you, there are probably a fair number of these around the Palace of Westminster.

    Like

    • 117
      Y fronts of that Ilk says:

      I have tight underwear

      It reminds me that I still have nuts…whole hazelnuts you see

      Like

  25. 52
    Rinka Scott says:

    It is a criminal offence to serve someone with alcohol when they are intoxicated.

    The landlord could lose his licence.

    But the Commons do not bother with the law.

    Like

  26. 54
    Ah! Monika says:

    Rather like Dunblane. One madman causes gross over-reaction.
    Better to get MPs to wear cushions on their heads to soften the blows from ‘ nutters ‘

    Like

    • 77
      Expat Geordie says:

      Especially when the person responsible should never have been allowed a firearms certificate in the first place. When West Midlands Police granted me one in 1991 they told me that even a hint of misbehaviour and I could lose it. We actually had a situation in the mid 90’s where if you got flashed by a speed camera you could lose your firearms certificate.

      Yet a Scottish nutter with strong links to the local Labour Party and who was as straight as Gordon Brown is allowed to keep his ticket despite police reservations and then goes postal, killing a load of kids. End result, all firearms banned due to Scottish Labour Party corruption and the rest.

      Like

      • 98
        jgm2 says:

        Aye. And dr*i*nk-dr*i*ving is a definite no-no if you don’t want some officious prick demanding your firearms be handed over.

        Like

  27. 55
    Ah! Monika says:

    Ah! Monika says:
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    May 1, 2012 at 5:15 pm
    Rather like Dunb… lane. One madman causes gross over-reaction.
    Better to get MPs to wear cushions on their heads to soften the blows from ‘ nutters ‘

    Like

  28. 56
    Alchoholic says:

    What is worse than a subsidy? A subsidy that does not make the actual prices charged for drinks any cheaper than those in neighbouring pubs. That’s the real scandal.

    Like

    • 75
      Peppers Ghost says:

      Apparently the MOD are in charge of buying the booze. They got a copper bottomed 20 year deal for £80 per pint. Downside was the also had to lease some pot plants but that’s a small price to pay for such a deal.

      Like

      • 225
        Canna Biss the noo says:

        Goodness me! Don’t tell me our MPs are also into pot? No wonder they are stoned half the time..

        Like

  29. 59
    Rupert's left Bollock says:

    Watson and his entourage of Labour hypocrites are not fit enough to lick my right bollock. They should accept it instead of throwing the biggest hypocritical tantrum in political history. Now shoo.

    Like

  30. 60
    Gonk says:

    How about gaoling violent drunken criminals especially those who have
    to re-invent themselves when they’re proved to be hollow frauds.

    Like

    • 66
      D Wing says:

      Anyone in particular you have in mind?

      Like

    • 102
      AC1 says:

      +1

      Like

    • 104
      Dirty Desmond says:

      You should arrest most of Glasgow City Council for starters

      Like

      • 111
        jgm2 says:

        Give it another couple of days. The voters of Glasgow are in the process of throwing the Labour crooks and gangsters out there too.

        Like

        • 122
          Expat Geordie says:

          Really? Don’t they do postal voting in Glasgow? And being even more left wing than Labour, what’s to say that the S&P wouldn’t be as bad or even worse? I would say “poor Glasgow”, but the dozy sods keep voting them in in the same way that a battered wife keeps going back an abuse husband.

          Like

          • Make Britain Great! Napalm every council estate! says:

            Postal voting? In Glasgow? No.

            Glaswegian gets piece of paper pushed under the MDF where the front door used to be (before the police kicked it in). Glaswegian looks at paper. Glaswegian only sees unintelligible scrawl. Glaswegian regrets not paying attention at school. Then remembers he didn’t go to school.

            Glaswegian uses paper to wipe his arse.

            Like

    • 136
      Anonymous says:

      “Gaoling.”

      Wasn’t it last spelled like that when gay meant happy?

      Like

  31. 63
    Cross Dresser says:

    Pay for own booze.

    Like

  32. 65
    Cross Dresser says:

    Putting up prices for the masses while subsidising thirsty MPs? Not fair!

    Like

  33. 67
    Cross Dressing says:

    Mod!

    Like

  34. 69
    Cross stitching says:

    Put up p rices for the mass and subsidise the MPs. Not fair!

    Like

  35. 72
    Twatson contains a Twat. says:

    Tell you what. Twatson would not pass the interview for running a community radio chanel let alone a global media empire. Rupe doesn’t seem to have any problem attracting good looking rich wives either.

    It’s Twatson who is not fit and not Rupe.

    Like

  36. 78
    Criminal Murdoch says:

    I made a huge fortune in Britain while Labour were destoying the British economy

    I am now laughing all the way to the bank like my children and Tony Blair

    Like

  37. 79
    Anonymous says:

    Guido tweets that News Cor are up 2%

    Like

  38. 85
    Edinburgh Dogshite On a Motorbike. Hoon says:

    Socialist hypocritical fat turds.

    Like

  39. 89
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The BBC declared war on Murdoch when James Murdoch said the TV tax should be scrapped.

    What a dumb fuck, he should have simply told Cameron get rid of the tax or we’ll fuck you over.

    Too late now.

    I could have told Murdoch how to get rid of the BBC.

    Like

    • 106
      CYNICAL OLD MAN says:

      It seems the way to go to start a popular campaign would be via Twitter. I don’t use it myself, don’t have and never had an account. From what I’ve seen though, many popular movements have begun there. Perhaps there are enough resentful licence payers using Twitter to start a campaign to get rid of the Licence fee that could grow into something bigger. I can but dream. None of our Parliamentarians, especially in the Conservative led government want to take on the BBC. Perhaps it needs Joe Public to start a mass protest against Labour’s propagandist-in-chief.

      Like

      • 119
        Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

        the B-bbc would co-opt it.

        I think that’s the proper Marxist expression.

        Like

  40. 90
    annette curton says:

    Topped up less frequently than what?, a tramp that’s inherited a distillery.

    Like

  41. 103
    Alex Salmond, Commander of the Jock Hordes says:

    Hello Guido

    I am going to win Glasgow off Criminal Scottish Labour

    Then I will use my influence with Citizen Murdoch to sweep Jockland and teach you all a lesson

    He told me privately that he wants to get his own back on the English Establishment which has done him down…poor thing…

    Like

  42. 107
    Reuters correspondent, always first with the news says:

    Breaking news Guido

    There is a meeting this week of several private equity funds and other vultures to take over the Murdoch empire…before it loses its broazdcasting licenses…

    Like

    • 109
      Damian Macbride says:

      Was Dirty Desmond there as well ?

      He would love to pick over thr remains of Murdoch in the UK…

      Like

  43. 108
    Moral Collapse Blair in Five Star Hotel in Jerusalem says:

    I have written to the Prime Minister today to recommend a Life Peeerage for Rupert Murdoch

    To finally sink the House of Ermine Vermin

    ROFL

    Like

  44. 112
    Le Monde correspondent says:

    Is there an honest Tory left prepared to condemn the generalised criminality in the Murdoch empire?

    Surely criminality should be condemned whether you are right, left or centre ?

    Like

    • 127
      Anonymous says:

      The only thing he’s done wrong at the moment is not to have smashed the BBC into smithereens……..yet. The North Korean model of, “pay up for your propaganda or go to prison” is well overdue it’s final demise. Just hope I’m still around to see it.

      Like

    • 226
      Canna Biss the noo says:

      Monsieur, honesty Tory = chalk and cheese. Adieu

      Like

  45. 115
    Max Clifford says:

    I have a friend who has just purchased two large pigs

    He has called them Posh and Becks…

    Like

    • 132
      Posh - speakin froo clenched teef says:

      Oi!!!! wouonabart?? weaintdunnuffinavwebabe!!!

      Shurrupanthat!!!

      Leevusalonewillya!!

      Like

    • 227
      Canna Biss the noo says:

      At least P & B earned their cash honestly and through their own efforts. Good luck to them.

      Like

  46. 118
    Guido's old employer, Rupert Murdoch says:

    Thank you Guido for sweeping all of my shit under the carpet

    You know me

    I never did anything wrong

    ROFL (I’ll send you a cheque as usual)

    Like

  47. 120
    ToonBob... says:

    I will happily volunteer as a bouncer on the bar doors :)

    Like

  48. 123
    ukiplocal says:

    Or elect responsible MPs, perhaps?

    Like

    • 137
      annette curton says:

      Or at least barr irresponsible MPs, expecting Parliamentary Privilege for being drunk and disorderly with criminal damage and aggravated assault is stretching things a bit far even for those Alice in Wonderland clowns.

      Like

  49. 131
    Tiny Sarkozy says:

    Thank you for all your support on this blog. Goodbye. Au Revoir

    Like

  50. 134
    OFFS!!! says:

    Where’s the bloody kid gone who duz tha moderatin an that!!!! ????

    Like

  51. 138
    FatSun says:

    I am fat and unfit!

    Like

  52. 140
    Lord Egbert Nobacon says:

    I find this difficult to believe……£5 million works annual subsidy works out at £7,700 per MP or 2,800 pints of Top Totty or 93 pints per week / MP for each week Parliament is in session.

    Like

    • 145
      annette curton says:

      Nowt like a bloody good session!.

      Like

    • 147
      Expat Geordie says:

      Slightly over 21 units of alcohol per adult male per week then.

      The 21 units rule actually has no basis in medical opinion. When a committee of doctors first looked into this in the 80’s they agreed that an adult male could safely drink a bottle of red wine per night. At 12.5% ABV this works out at 65.625 units per week.

      That number seemed rather high to them even though they agreed that it was safe, so they arbitrarily reduced it to 40 units per week.

      Then someone mentioned drink driving limits, so they dropped it to 28 units per week.

      This figure stood until Labour came into power when it was reduced for political purposes to 21 units per week for men and 14 units for women.

      I’ll stick with my 65 units, thanks.

      Like

      • 186
        Gonk says:

        Double it if you want, it’s a free country. Just don’t smash the place up, assault anyone or pilot a jet airliner.

        Like

  53. 146
    sporran biollocks says:

    Easy solution: ban Scotch

    Like

    • 149
      Expat Geordie says:

      Ban Scots! Let’s give the Jocks all the debt that they ran up while running our country and turn Enland into a low tax small c conservative paradise.

      Like

    • 193
      Despite what you think , this is what the facts show says:

      Sell London, subsidy junkie capital of the U.K.

      Like

  54. 152
    Tom Watson is an ugly fuck says:

    I reckon the reason Tom Watson is so angry and bitter is because he knows that fellow committee member Louise Mensch won’t touch him with a bargepole, even if she wasn’t married.

    Like

    • 154
      Tell it like it is says:

      So,all this alleged criminality at News Corps happened while Labour were in power and prepared to turn a blind eye for as long as the Murdoch press were supportive ?

      Like

      • 155
        BBC Production Dept. says:

        Thank you for the summary – but we will ensure that the viewing public never get a whiff of this fact.

        Like

        • 158
          Anonymous says:

          Perhaps some of the News Corps hierarchy could remind the public of the facts.

          Like

          • Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

            No because News ‘Corpse’ is too busy fighting the wrong war against the wrong people.

            Like

        • 159
          annette curton says:

          The BBC Trust (LoL), know which side their bread is buttered on.

          Like

          • Blair is godfather says:

            Lots of readers still miss the NoTW for a laugh on a Sunday and are capable of deducing that TWatson and Labour licked Murdochs ass and ignored alleged criminality when in power and threw a hissy fit when N.I switched support to the Tories.

            Like

          • The Labour Party says:

            Quite right. How dare our mate Murdoch switch to the Tories.

            And how dare the British public switch, too. By God, when we’re done with Murdoch, we’ll be after you, you little shits. By Christ when we win in 2015 we’ll make you miserable bastards wish you’d never been born.

            3 million immigrants under our last administration? Pah! We’ll bring in 30 million next time. We’ll rub your shitty noses in it so deep you won’t know what hit you.

            Like

  55. 153
    will says:

    Guido Ed balls brother not suffering – Ed Balls’s brother nets part of £57m Pimco wage packet.

    Andrew Balls, the brother of shadow chancellor Ed, has shared £57m in pay with six other directors of the European arm of Pimco, the world’s largest bond investor. How much tax did he pay on his income ???

    While the total director pay bill rose by 19% from 2010, the figures were skewed by a slightly larger Pimco Europe board. Average pay per director remained at around £8m. However, in 2009 four directors shared £11m.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2012/may/01/ed-balls-brother-57m-pimco

    Like

  56. 161
    i say says:

    watson = fatty

    Like

  57. 163
    i says:

    Watson = tub of fat

    greedy gut bucket of lard

    Like

  58. 166
    Arthur Fauxsake... says:

    The armed forces have been run down, even to the extremity of a proposal that we might have to share an aircraft carrier with the French – thus prompting the question of what we do with our half of it when their half surrenders…………

    Like

  59. 171
    PC clitoris says:

    greedy bastards time we soted these fcukers out reduce their wages and make them pay more for their pensions and work longer for them.get rid of all these expenses and extra payments aka the police.
    OH and make the buggers pass a fitness test.

    Like

  60. 176
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Just how far has Ed Miliband distanced himself from Ken Livingstone?
    a) A cigarette paper.
    b) The width of a motorway.
    or
    c) Who is Ken Livingstone.

    Like

  61. 181
    SIR EVERARD PENIS QC says:

    Guido Could you not start a campaign to shame the fuckers into giving up the subsidy
    in fact all subsidies
    We feed the fuckers , pay for them to get pissed , furnish their houses infact we pay for just about everything these bastards do
    and it’s wrong !

    Like

    • 184
      Walking off with £80K of YOUR money, Margaret Moran says:

      We get to decide what’s right and wrong, suckers!

      Wibble!

      (Oh, I forgot, I got off scot-free, I can stop pretending to be mad now, can’t I?)

      Like

    • 191
      Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

      Let’s get Red Ed and his massive nose to jump aboard the abolish the HOC perks bandwagon.

      Like

  62. 183
    Labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    Well, it don’t look the slippery cun’t is going to publish his tax returns before the election.

    I wonder how many who vote for the whiney fuck-faced melt know about him wanting to make London a beacon for is lam?

    The Brainwashing Broadcast Company aren’t going to tell them that’s for sure.

    Like

    • 185
      Nuke Londonistan says:

      It’ll be funny if Ken wins and then the full extent of his tax-dodging comes out.

      The mongs who live in Londonistan will be stuck with the tax-dodging c*nt for years.

      Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of scum.

      Like

  63. 189
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Can anyone think of a use for Pakistan? Isn’t it the most pointless country on the planet?

    Like

    • 216
      AC1 says:

      Experiment in Glass Flooring?

      Like

    • 244
      David Cameron says:

      Steady on, we just gave Pak-land £650 million in aid, which they promptly spent on nuclear missiles. It’s good to see our international aid being spent so wisely. You should feel proud.

      Like

  64. 190
    A milf from Milford Haven says:

    Do they get taxed on the benefit-in-kind like my Bupa?

    Like

  65. 192
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Newsnight

    Murdochzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Fatty Watson zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Prescott zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Shirt lifter zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Like

  66. 197
    not a machine says:

    Tom loves his feuds doesnt he , ahh but he hasnt really explained how it became so wide spread under labour ………… I mean it was just NI was it .

    Election vid was in my view an improvement .

    Infrastructure : I always get slightly depressed on this topic , as I cannot forgive the last goverment for blowing so much on the sort of stuff , that didnt really work . It is also the palace of ideas alas the wonk ones often get a seat also . It really depends on what your view is on capital projects in a capitalist system , under labour it seemed anyone who could explain “it would bring huge benefits ” in that more ended up on benefits as so many manufacturing jobs were lost . Every department seems to be left with some sort of demand for spending and infrastructure . Whims and wish lists from government do not always make improvements to the economy ,long term .
    I would think transport and energy have a long requirement , but feedback into the economy better per year of spend and if they incoprorate more Uk supply side , so much the better for spend .
    The sort of infrastructure that makes me weep , is the one where its a system upgrade that just never ends in cost , an example a local authority who shal remain nameless spent a load of money on making a paperless system to all departments , they were issued with a sort of portable small tablet which had pre filled screens and a custom stlyus device to sign off pre formed sheets ,after finding that some people used them alot and some didnt , and some failed in the cold and rain (causing work stoppages as there was no alternative way of working) , they then decided on new shiney upgrade just a mere two years after first one , of course they now find with this new upgrade it doesnt connect with old system and need whole new big computer . i didnt ask as to how much for cost comparison , keeping old sign off paper sheets , would be ………… but what i mean is so much investment seems to have gone on short term stuff of government , that seems to just need more spending down the line . priorities seem to have gone from some aspects of goverment under labour . sorting the wonk from the real ones is the only sound thing you could ask from government .

    Like

  67. 199
    Gordon Brown says:

    Mr Murdoch was not “fit” to run a company such as News Corp, it was far too much of a success.

    Like

  68. 202
    Tom Watson says:

    Whenever I belch or fart the very next day I have to purchase carbon credits from Caroline Lucas… skinny bitch!

    Like

  69. 206
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    I want the BBC to carry on, as I don’t pay a TV tax (age) and there ARE some programs I like watching.
    I don’t pay SKY either: use torrents for USA TV programs I want, so basically I am a freeloader.
    Hooray and fuck you all!

    Like

  70. 208
    Margaret Moran says:

    I think Tom Watson is very fit!

    OK, Tom, you said if I gave you a handjob, you’d help get me a safe seat so I can relaunch my political career. Wait, where are you going? Tom?

    Like

  71. 209
    Fish says:

    Not only did Watson hijack this committee, his hijacking of the Birmingham Mayoral election stepped up a gear today when Sian Simon, the Watson installed prospective candiate, teamed up with the Respect leader to campain for a yes vote.

    Simon seems to think that he has got the Labour nomination in the bag – centralised control and manipulation will have got him there – pity the people of Birmingham who will not know what they’re buying. They will think that a mayoralty will give them a degreee of self determination from national politics – the Simon and Watson carve-up will give them the opposite.

    Simon, with Watson was of course one of the curry house conspirators; Brownites, who in a coup, ejected Bliar from office. They are well connected with the local BBC (Adrian Goldberg (below) being a local and National BBC presenter and ex-blogging companion of Watson).

    http://thestirrer.thebirminghampress.com/tw1108071.html

    http://thestirrer.thebirminghampress.com/plotter-austin-rewarded-06100081.html

    Like

  72. 210
    After much consideration says:

    The more I listen the more I realise that the Commons Culture, Media and Sport Committee has been hijacked by the Labour party. It’s Tory chairman John Whittingdale should hang his head in shame.

    Like

    • 212
      Arm Chair says:

      It was obviously going wrong when Watson accused Murdoch of being a MAFIA boss and when Murdoch appealed to the Chair, Whittingdale ignored his plea.

      Like

    • 213
      Arm Chair says:

      P free version:
      It was obviously going wrong when Watson accused Murdoch of being a MAFIA boss and when Murdoch appe@led to the Chair, Whittingdale ignored his ple@.

      Like

    • 249
      Archer Karcher says:

      Whittingdale is an absolute tosser, here’s the puffed up idiot from his own website.

      “John Whittingdale MP committed to switch off the lights for WWF’s Earth Hour 2012 and to supporting the environment summit in Rio. WWF’s Earth Hour is a simple idea that has become a global phenomenon, with hundreds of millions of people turning off their lights on March 31 at 8.30pm to show they want to create a brighter future for the planet. Last year 135 countries, hundreds of millions of people and famous landmarks from Big Ben and Buckingham Palace in London to the India Gate in New Delhi took part in WWF’s Earth Hour.”

      Like

      • 256
        A Scientific view says:

        Oddly enough I have just been watching Mythbusters prove that one should always switch lights off when leaving a room. Nothing to do with gl*bal wa*ming etc, but simply it is good for your wallet to do so. The argument about the start-surge when switching on again is (as Boris might say) fucking bollocks and uses minute amounts of power equivalent to roughly one-third of a second’s actual usage. So shut the ligts off and get rich!

        Like

  73. 239
    Arfa Daley says:

    iPads ….. iPads …… free iPads …. anyone want one? …. get your free iPads ….. come on, don’t be shy, they’re free ….. iPads …..get your, thank you sir, here it is, it’s free ….. enjoy ….. god these MPs get away with murder ….. iPads …. get your free iPads……

    Like

  74. 240
    Tom Fatson says:

    Like

  75. 241
    Cynical-old-bag says:

    Make ‘em pay for it out of their own pockets at the normal charge.

    That’ll stop ‘em drinking so much.

    Like

  76. 248
    Anonymous says:

    Forget the drinks issue it really is small beer
    We know Murdoch and the News Int staff are suspect.
    Stop obsessing on it
    Spend some money on National security .
    Prosecute sheds with beds Landlords and deport the illegals that will help address..
    Housing shortages,
    Artificially depressed Low Salaries
    Overstretched Health
    Overstretched Education
    high housing benefit payments
    Tax avoidance.
    Public Health
    Crowded Transport
    Translation costs
    Anti semitism
    Child Prostitution Gangs
    Honour Killing
    and
    FMG
    Stop playing PC games and it will destroy the BNP and EDL.At the moment the UK PC establishment are the best recruiting sergants for these two odious organisations.

    Like

  77. 250
    even better idea says:

    “Guido has a better idea”

    Just get the poufs and the birds out of the way so the men can get on with it. The way nature intended.

    Like

  78. 251
    Raving Loon says:

    If Murdoch isn’t a fit and proper person to run a company, I can’t wait to see what a successfull business manager would be like.

    Like

    • 254
      Well it's a thought says:

      Certainly not one of the so called politicians we have in the thieves den.

      Like

  79. 252
    anonymous says:

    No doubt all you tory boys will be getting down to the ‘Iron Lady Costume Exhibition’ soon

    http://www.vogue.co.uk/news/2012/01/05/the-iron-lady—margaret-thatcher-costumes

    you’ll enjoy that!!!

    Like

  80. 258
    gildedtumbril says:

    For many years I have wondered just how much extra booze is consumed in the house of conmen as Christmas approaches. I suspect the bastards are taking crates home when I assume it is only supposed to be consumed on the premises. Any thoughts? Anyone know?If, by some miracle, an honest person is elected I feel sure they are corrupted within minutes of taking, or not taking, the oath.

    Like

  81. 259
    coolmon2009 says:

    Refusing to serve additional sounds like a possible solution.

    Like

  82. 260
    Spook says:

    What about a lock-in for all of them, just like what I arranged for my colleague Gareth

    Like


Seen Elsewhere

Why We Need Change | Douglas Carswell
The Howard Roark of Westminster | Guardian
Carswell, the Clacton Cassandra | James Ford
Love Bomb Carswell | ConservativeHome
Denis MacShane’s Ex is Now Hacked Off Spokesman | Speccie
How the Carswell Story Unfolded | Sky News
How to Defect | Telegraph
Carswell Defection Will Dismay Thoughtful Tories | ConservativeHome
Carswell: Darling of the Tories, Labour and Now UKIP | Speccie
Where is the Love? | Tom Watson
Tory Eurosceptics Weakened | Speccie


VOTER-RECALL
Get the book Find out more about PLMR


Douglas Carswell’s side-kick Dan Hannan MEP pours water on the obvious question:

“I won’t be joining UKIP, though I wish Douglas Carswell all the best. He has been a superb MP, and it’s honourable to stand for re-election.”



Owen Jones says:

We also need Zil lanes.


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