Ken Says Tories Out of this World
Only a month ago Ken said he wanted to drop negative campaigning:
I suggest to Boris Johnson therefore that he and I work together to raise the tone and spirit of this election. Let us talk about what really matters to each and every Londoner, and end the X-Factor slug-fest.
We want to concentrate vigorously on those issues that can make Londoners better off over the next month of this campaign.
As you can see Ken’s campaign today paints Boris as an alien blue slug. Not exactly a positive focus on the issues…
Actually the Andorians ended up as founder members of the Federation. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to choose an unfriendly alien race?
As ever Labour knows nothing about Star Trek.
Live long and prosper
Actually they’ve been made to look cute, I’d vote for them rather than a v1le, putr1d and d1sgusting socialist.
A set of blue slugs would be an improvement on the current incumbents.
Slugs and newts – what a choice!
I say chaps!!! – has anyone noticed I’m pro the EUSSR? – wattage ?? Watter ?? ha hah ah hah ha! – I thought not!!!! hah hah hah ha !!!! dashed clever – watt!
Is this some sort of racism against blue people?
Ken is really useless at this negative campaigning malarkey.
I’ve been to Andorra and the people look nothing like that.
Is that the NEWS INTERNATIONAL Planet. Now we know why our Politicians from Thatcher, Bliar, and Now Cameroon have smashed our economies and society to pieces on the Back of orders from the US.
Perhaps it’s a reference to the cold planet they come from? Cold=uncaring? I dunno, just putting out a theory.
No one in their right mind would vote for Red Ken. However, the Tories lost the plot the moment they capitulated in forming a Coalition. People should have sen CaMoron’s poor negotiating skills and his desire to move the Tory party to the left using the Lie Dumbs as the excuse.
Vote UKIP and change politics.
+1 on voting for UKIP
+ 1000. Vote UKIP.
Hmm…..UKIP, the benficiary of the current mess. How bloody wonderful.
Anyone called Viacom? They tend get a but upset about people stealing their works.
Have sent in an email to them to ask
I’m so glad I’m a newt.
Why isn’t Redwood in this picture – he wouldn’t need make up?
I thugetht that ith becauth they are bwew and a bit thtiff, like Kenth Viagra tabletth.
Thorry about the thpit, jutht uthe my hanky.
Ah but they might be disguised as Andorians like that bloke that stabbed Capt Kirk, he was from Orion, I believe ( who are green).
I’d have thought that a nerd like Millispock would have known that, didn’t anyone ask him ?
Confirmation you can’t believe a word Ken says.
It’s rather good publicity for the Blueman theatre group.
Hopefully Ken is red-faced on 7 May!
Desperate times mean desperate actions as far as Ken is concerned.
This could backfire on him as it will be seen a both a weakness in him, and that he will do anything to avoid his frequent gaffes (this is another one) and his tax issues.
Ken , Dont stand on the high moral ground if that ground has steam rising from it .
Man with hole in pocket feel cockie but man with 2 holes in pocket dont feel 2 cockie
Not bad for 5 minutes’ work, eh?
Which part of Bangalore do you come from?
A hope years 2 and 3 cover stuff that’s more useful career-wise.
Its like that book ….
Tories are from Mars Labour are from Bangledesh
and HaPerson?
A mad scientist’s petri dish?
The Frankfurt School of Hectoring?
Sex starved old bat in other words.
Careful old son, H and I enjoy a long Sunday afternoon rumpy-pumpy.
Looks like the stupid old s od is surrounded by even bigger idiots.
That may well be true. but regardless of the political colour I will ensure they do as they are told whilst maintaining the pretence the ‘leader’ (lol!!) is in charge.
Meanwhile, the plans are well underway for me to be able to build my new, local ‘super-Kremlim’ on land that should really be used as allotment space.
And yet I can still maintain the pretence that this godawful little ‘city’ is ‘home of Environment Capital’!
Nice!
politics dont you just love it
Right now, the countries debt is growing violently. The Government forecasts it will soar to an eye-watering £1.1 trillion by 2011. To put that in perspective, the UK went bust in 1976 running a budget deficit of 6% of GDP. In 2010 that deficit is going to top 11%.
And we get pictures of blue slugs… makes you wanna weep.
forecasts … by 2011? Can you forecast something in the past?
That’s what they always look like to Weird Ed
Do they live in ‘Beds in Sheds”?
Whose voting intentions is the smear intended to alter? If Ken can’t win on the issues, he’s no re@son to stand for mayor.
i is going to vohte 4 ken bcos hee paynted the torees blew witch i fink is verry funnie. OMG ken is funnie n clevva LOL!!.
i hayt torees bcos thay stopt mee geting a gud job wiv a big wayj!!!! i shood ern lots of muhnee but torees keap it orl 4 themselvs!!!!
Memo to party chairman:
Get this man onto the Executive Board right away-I like his style .
Ed M
IQ of 40, eh? One of the clever ones, then!
Cutting edge stuff, good solid state of the art propaganda, should make the electorate stop and think.
Electorate – in Tower Hamlets? Are you sure about the “think” word? Lick multiple envelopes and post, maybe.
Ill vote for them every time
Belgium Man, Belgium
They look kinda cute, so they get my vote.
We All vote labour , not sure why , The paper work keeps me busy though
With both heads, Zaphod?
I like head
Mind bleach required.
How long is Ken going to cling on to his apirations for power? (Geddit?)
No, not too often these days. Barclays always cheers me up though. Pay the useless more (and more and more). Especially the Chairman. Geddit?
With beeb, guardian and labour shouting “Murdoch” and a taxing budget it will be slam dunk for Ken!
London first, then the country, certainly if postal voring rules are not changed!
We are labour and we love postal voting!
Oops, went OTT on exlamationmarks, but so exicted how election procedures and stumbling government will help London have a labour mayor again!
ken wil B a gud maya 4 lundun bcoz hee paynted ppl blew LOL !!
that mayks me LOL !!! kleva ken is funneeee!!!!
CBA
In order to provide a fair and ballanced photo mock up.
Here is the Red Alien alternative
http://www.partysaver.com/contents/media/red-alien.gif
I wish Livingscum was on a different planet. If he was he would be found under a rock with other slimey reptiles.
You’re obviously thinking of a habitable planet, whereas we’d all like Ken to visit one slightly more hostile. Mercury, perhaps:
“With almost no atmosphere, the planet’s equatorial surface bakes at a sizzling 450 °C near noon, but cools to below -170 °C late at night.”
Or we could just shoot him, which would be cheaper. (Or we could make him walk around Tower Hamlets this Friday afternoon with a sandwichboard that says “eat ham”).
He tried listing his address as “Mars” on his tax declaration but Inland Revenue spotted the dodge.
filthy rich non-dom!
Labour member in ‘telling lies shocker’. Never seen that coming
I would post a rebuttal but I am to Ill
Sent from my Villa in Granada
I will be using the same scam, Margaret, if they come after me, thanks for the inspiration. Boaz.
If you strangle a Smurf what colour does it turn?
The current Tories are blue on the outside and red on the inside, so that I should imagine.
Ken’s talking out of Uranus.
Completely off-topic, but reading that the police had discovered more than 7,000 cannabis growers in the UK last year led me to wonder what they might have achieved by devoting the same resources to catching criminals. The police also estimated that the value of cannabis they seized was over £100 million. The value of what they did not discover must have been several times that. This is a substantial and successful industry, creating jobs and reducing imports. It’s high time it received an award.
A Joint Industry Award.
LOL
You are right, though like most of our successful industries, many of the jobs and apprenticeshops seem to be going to overseas migrant labour.
Even if it was just a toke’n.
This site has gone to pot.
What a wacky idea
Can a bis join in this banter?
And boosting exports. Much of what we produce here on Merseyside is sold abroad to Blackburn, Oldham, Bradford and Dewsbury!
Come on Ken(sington)…up the Blues.
I wish Ken Livingstink all the luck in the world.
Campaign for Champagne Ken.
Its a Cava-up
Only little people pay taxes.
on this I agree entirely with Ken, the tories ARE on a different planet – we all know it but few say it loud enough – whilst those rightwingers who can admit it do so but strangely still support them
They are certainly on a different planet to you.
It’s called Planet Reality.
You know the one?
The one where people work for a living.
And pay their way.
If that’s Right Wing.
Then most decent people are.
You of course are Left Wing.
Which is what?
Answers on the head of a pin to.
La la Land.
+ fours
?
Racist
Said the Lefty.
Ken says; brown envelopes are us.
Men of renown often use brown
Once you’ve had brown you never go back
I think this was written either for me or about me!
(Just skip the ad after 5 seconds and enjoy…..)
Not positive.. but strikingly accurate.
However, in the interests of fairness, I would like to see a picture of Ken sitting on a giant tax return stroking his newt.
Will the people who have been transported to Stoke get postal votes from their transit camps before they are liquidated?
Ken being racist shocker,
what does he have against Blue People and Aliens
What’s next the slogan, Vote Tory and get a Nausicaan for a Neighbour
But isn’t London already full of multi dimensional beings? i.e. ones that can be in multiple places at the same instance in time, especially when voting?
Vote Ken and get a Nauseous Trot for a neighbour
I once was lost but now am found.
That’s amazing!!
“The Tories are on a different planet.”
Yes Ken, it’s called planet Earth.
Auto tweeted by http://startupista.com/corporate-bullshit-generator/
Workers’ Ed.
And I do not believe that your thoughts are actually with the 171 families.
Schools must not produce winners.
Thats nice.
He’s such a caring thoughtful boy to have a little underling tweet his sympathy.
Unfortunately it doesn’t mention how many working days are lost to Pilgrims
http://www.hse.gov.uk/statistics/
Did your assistant find that 171 figure out for you, or was that number burned into your mind as part of your genuine grief and sympathy for the workers?
Cynical, point scoring bastard.
Have you cleared these thoughts with Lenny
It looks like the office junior tweeted this as the apostrophe is in the wrong place.
It should be Workers’ Memorial Day. An Oxford PPE would not make this mistake.
His idiot brother is also an Oxford PPE and his ‘A’ levels spell CCD.
Proving yet again that it’s not what you know but who you know.
Mine spelled CCE and all I got was Coventry Polytechnic BA Economics.
My thoughts are with the families of those killed at the Mid Staffs death Camp.
On worker’s memorial day my thoughts are with the 140 characters I can use to pretend I’m a caring person.
In view of the state of the economy, may I suggest that ex-Prime Ministers continue to get police protection WHILST IN UK. If they travel abroad, then they should pay the full cost of their (and their family’s) protection – unless they have less than £24,000 in capital (around figure old people have to pay full costs care above) and say £12000 per year income.
Why would such a nice well loved man need protection?
Otherwise they’d get mobbed by all their fans.
Is that 24k and 12k pa of DECLARED money?
Some say that the picture makes them look like blue snails. If that is what was intended then it would be that the brief was that ‘we are aiming at the stupid amoungst the libore voters the ones that have heard some stuff about newts but don’t follow it closly enough to know who it’s about’, so now will think it’s Boris.
The thing this picture does the most is make this a labour tory PARTY issue and not about livingslime and Johnson, and who of those two would be the best at the job.
Vote ken, get a big dinner
I hope
I just decided to vote for Ken.
Wind farms can cause climate change, finds new study
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/9234715/Wind-farms-can-cause-climate-change-finds-new-study.html
parp!
All green initiatives should be taxed.
Crikey Mikey! That’s awful! Do you think I should give my multi-millionaire father-in-law a call and tell him to get rid of the windmill he’s got on his land? The one that you snot-nosed little oiks fund to the tune of £1,000 per day in subsidies, what what?
Let me know (but only after you’ve given me £250,000 in cash, otherwise I don’t care what you think).
Toodle pip!
I want to be a tree.
woof!
You need root and branch reform.
That’s a coincidence because we’d all like to piss on your feet.
Ken should be done under the trade descriptions act, the Tories ain’t blue anymore.
It’s good that Ken is getting back to basic truths.
And your thoughts on Ken’s desire to drop negative campaigning?
Is this ‘truth’ in the same sense as David ‘the world is ruled by aliens I*c*k*e?
Ask Jeeves Question of the day:
What human treat can be poisonous to dogs?
Answer:
Biting David Cameron
I think Ken should get the Jeremy Clarkson treatment and be tied to the front of a van and driven round till he isn’t alive anymore.
Actually, most politicians remind me of the Ferengies– swelled heads, and governed by the Rules of Acquisition.
The “swelled head” syndrome is indeed a well known attribute of most politicians. It’s main causal factor has been identified as ‘hot air’ which is produced by those with the syndrome in vast quantities. The only known palliative is trepanning to relieve the immense pressure on the skull – happily, their is no need to exercise the extreme care normally required when performing the operation as the brain is usually already quite dead. There is no known cure.
Battling with severe mental illness, I was going to suggest doctors trepanned me.
But then a judge declared that I shouldn’t stand trial for stealing £80,000 of your money and a miracle occurred! I got instantly better! Isn’t that amazing?
I know a good psychiatrist. Guiness is good for you.
“Ferengies” is Indonesian/Malay or ‘foreigners’ – you know, like what most of Ken’s voters are.
Does Ken reckon the effect of his budget will be newtral?
Such a persuasive argument from Ken. Naff as usual.
Looks to me like Ken’s team are floundering.
Londoners want a positive message, someone to represent the capital. But Ken is looking like a bitter man who is reduced to lashing out with late night photoshop stunts.
kens piccy of the blew torrees has convinst mee to vohte 4 him.
i didnt no the torrees R blew n i didnt no thay wur from anuva planut neetha.
its rong that blew ppl from anutha planut R heer in britun.
This gummint is pandering to the blue peoples of the galaxy. They step off a spaceship and are given a flat straight away.
Vote Brain Pat Dick. He will allow everyone to get stonned so everyone will look blue.
in the good old days it used to be pigeons that nestled on yer roof – today it’s the bleedin MoD – how things change eh?
In the good old days, Britain wasn’t infested with followers of the relig!ion of p!ss.
Gardener’s Question Time
How to get rid of Creeping Rapier.
1. Mix up a big pot of fertilizer and custard powder.
2. Add some nails and glass bottles.
3. Put in a cool dark place, like the loft underneath the Rapier.
4. Put fingers in ears.
O/T but the reviews are hilarious
Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml
Just read this. My girlfriend thinks that I’ve turned epileptic and just had a fit.
The local evening rag has an advert for Labour for the Council elections.
4 of its 5 bullet points are addressed to public sector workers, council house tenants , members of public sector pension schemes and pensioners generally.
It would appear that they have little regard for the rest of us in the private sector who actually pay for it all.
Wait for the 300% turnout in Spitalfields
UKIP #1
Boris #2
Keep red Ken out!