Friday Caption Contest (Umbrella Holder Edition)
The best suggestion for what the “Blairite she-devil” is thinking will win a handy compendium of Ken facts:
“THE TRUTH ABOUT KEN – His Cronies, His Scandals and His Hypocrisy…”
Answers below…
How Mervyn King Lost Bank Battle War | WSJ
BBC Corporation Tax Horror Story | IEA
Sally Bercow Judgement in Full | Mr Justice Tugendhat
Commies Blame Capitalism For Terror Attack | The Commentator
Lord Black v Press Regulation | Guardian
Osborne’s Complacency | FT
DWP’s Welfare Failings | Isabel Hardman
Get Used to Coalitions | David Aaronovitch
Woolwich a Showcase in the Banality of Evil | Fraser Nelson
The Enemy Within | Max Hastings
Muslim Led Military-Style Free School Needed | Toby Young
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Ed Balls stretches credulity by claiming he isn’t ambitious…
“I would love to be part of Ed’s Labour government but what I do next for me is not an all-consuming passion. I’m more bothered, in a personal sense, about getting to grade 8 piano by the time I’m 50.”
Bill Quango MP says:
Ned Flanders – Clegg
Lisa Simpson – Natalie Bennett
Milhouse – Hilary Benn
Martin Prince – Andy Burnham
Edna Krabappel – Luciana Berger
Crazy Cat Lady – Glenda jackson
Comic book guy – John Prescott
Carl – Chucka
Lenny – Philip Hammond
Willie – Eric joyce
Poochie – Gordon Brown
Reverend Lovejoy – Tony Blair
“I am really 7 ft just like I promised to publish my earning”
Happy Birthday Neo-Guido
Βillу, this isn’t a gay dating site ffs. Or maybe it is.
Ken to pink umbrella:
“Apart from the black umbrella vote, I am sure the gay community of pink umbrellas will vote for me too, come rain or shine….”
The wally and the brolly
“The one that should have one – is behind you”
+10
There’s never a Bulgarian with an umbrella when you need one.
Splendid! +1
The Jooooooz made it rain – -vote for me, my brown shirt’s in the wash.
Well I’ve heard of a wally with a brolly but here’s a loser with a boozer!
“New England manager unvieled”
Billy, your spelling gives you away
KIng ” at least Boris is good in bed”
Ken suddenly lost his appetite as he saw the size of the sausage he was supposed to swallow.
Ken gasped with amazement as he admired Ed Miliband’s new prosthetic nose.
81lly – remember that it is quality not quantity that matters. You admitted it in this post when Guido told you off for the crap quality of your posts. Just because you are banned from using your preferred moniker does not mean that you should again be posting lots of crap.
http://order-order.com/2011/02/09/comment-of-the-day/#comments
Livingstone: “Oona my umbrella, ella eh eh eh eh eh”
Livingstone: ” … and Oona King is here to help me secure the gay Muslim vote, and protect me from Labour … oops … the rain”.
“So here I am, an intelligent black woman, an ex-MP, reduced to standing here like a moron, acting the lackey, merely holding an umbrella for a geriatric champagne socialist white hypocritic of the worst-order; a liar, a misogynist, a tax-dodger, and a friend of terrorists. Even slavery at least had the honest dignity of the wronged victim.”
Winner!!!
Wine would have been a better prize
“If that boom mic hits him, what am I supposed to do again– attack the sound man, or attend to Ken as I call for an ambulance? Decisions, decisions!”
Neither. Congratulate the boom operator!
Is the second prize 2 copies of “The Truth about Ken”
Even umbrellas can’t stop the rain on Livingstone’s parade
Actually if you look, she is not even holding th umbrella over his head.
She doesn’t even have the ability to hold an umbrella for someone, and she wanted to be mayor of London?
W.W.
She’s not even angled it so that the drips go down the back of Ken’s neck.
Showers of Sh1te
Yer, and after the Election his speech on Jobless & Poverty will then be: Big Issuuuue, get yer Big Issuuuue..
Dr Livingstone went to Londonistan in the pouring rain,
He stepped in a puddle…
…and got in a muddle
his accounts were never the same.
Boom-Tish!
And I said to Gorgon
Holding his own bloody umbrella must be too taxing for him.
‘Well, at least I got to be Mayory Poppins…?’
Applause – even the accent!
Cor blimey mate! that has to be the winner
yup
Bet Boris would have got Mary’s Popouts!
Ken denies using umbrella company to shield tax affairs
KIng ” I never thought i would support a Big Issue seller”
Oona supports every Big Issue seller regardless of origin.
Oona: “I hope that cheque really is in the post..”
or “My comeback begins here?”
Some day my plinth will come…
Thtop it you beast
‘A spoonful of Sugar helps the medicine go down…’
But not Lord Sugar obvs!
I’ve heard Mrs Sugar wont swallow even a spoonfull of Alan’s mess
What would they say if I gave this a shake, right… now?
King “Well thats my career washed down the plug hole”
Christ, I hope my picture isn’t going to end up as a Guido Fawkes caption competition.
+ 1
Yeah, you can cut and paste that one every Friday here.
ditto
I’ve lied, I’ve humiliated myself, and I can re-write history as quickly as the next booted out politician, thought Oona King..
King “God i need a drink”
And then a kebab no doubt.
“At last I have reached the summit of equality I have always dreamt of by performing the essential task of holding an umbrella over my master whilst being three paces behind him.”
+100
BSDevil: “I really, really wish Ken had let me wear the burka.”
Waterproof Burka’s what you need to cope with this “drought”.
I’m enjoying a torrential drought at the moment.
King “Well, i can always get a job as a Guy News Intern”
YES WE KEN!
Ooh, na
Attack of low flying squirells quelled
Ken and truth, error, error, does not compute, please close all applications and reboot .
King “It should have been me on the box…”
Oona: “Hang on, that’s not George Galloway!!”
What on earth am I standing here in the pouring rain for listening to KenBoy rabbiting on and on?
I’m not sure this is what they had in mind when they asked me to cover your back.
Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to remind you, your money will be mine when you vote for me.
Well I’ve heard of a wally with a brolly but here is a loser with a boozer!
Oona: “Of course he’s not going to win, but after next week I can cash the cheque then get that job at the BBC..”
King “Hmm Thats not Liam Bryne…”
Oona Paloma Blanca
Tax Dodging Ken Is So Sly,
Oona Paloma Blanca
He’s Missing The Trough & The Sty,
And No One Can Take His Brass Neck Away.
Tick VG
Like it!
Is it too late for me to do a reach around and get a job I wonder?
Keep your friends close, but your Kenemies closer.
Millipede owes me big time for this
The things you have to do, to get another safe seat
Ken can be king?
Oona!
Wasn’t today’s prize supposed to be a bottle of wine from Oddbins?
Change of plan. We’re drinking that prize having read the book.
Wasn’t today’s pr*ize supposed to be a bo*ttle of wi*ne from Oddbins?
Ken drank them all
Livingstone denies opponent is in fact practically perfect in every way.
Time has not been kind to Rihanna
With age cometh wisdom.
With Ken cometh kakistocracy.
Enlisting Mel B to support Ken didnt go well….
I’m singing in the rain , just singing in the rain, hoping nobody asks for my tax history again.
Superkenisfragileandhistrainedpetisatrocious
Dumdiddledumdiddledumdiddle eye
We were living as savages until Livingstone came along.
‘They said “go out and support him!” They didn’t say I would just be supporting his umbrella. This sucks!’
“THE TRUTH ABOUT KEN – His Cronies, His Scandals and His Hypocrisy…”
Must be a big tome – can you afford the postage?
What’s the problem, you’re 15% covered…….
Don’t tell me to reveal my taxes I simply won’t do it. I will be untrue and you’ll see right through it. Win with fake postal votes just might do it. Don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my parade.
Hands up who thinks this shower would ever win an election
‘ Oona fills in for Jimmy while he has a piss ‘
Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
And just like the guy whose hair is too blond for his head
Nothin’ seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’
So I just did me some talkin’ to the Sun
And I said I didn’t like the way Brookes got things done
fleecin’ tax on the job
Those scandals are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’
” Quick, put up your brollies, Ken’s going to start to cry again !”
Never mind the comp.
BREAKING NEWS
Tom Watson has proposed to Margaret Moran.
Tom says ” We could produce a fine litter “
The consummation would break the strongest bed.
It’ll be on Straw (sic ) in a sty.
Sexual intercourse with a man of that size is an iffy proposition at best. Trust me– I know all too well. Champagne, anyone?
Oh, please let it be true!
They so deserve each other!!
You’d have a better time with me!
Kent
Judging the umbrella competition Ken looked straight at the man holding the red umbrella and said
“We have a winner”.
Oona: …and to think, they rejected me in favour of that c.unt.’
Oona put Ken in the shade.
Hard to put into words but think…
Big blue sky with a bird far in the distance
You can never find a KGB ricin-tipped umbrella, when you want one…
Wait ’til he’s on fire before putting the umbrellas over him
Red Ken launches his latest Umbrella company.
“That cheque better not bounce”
Would sooner be in a golden shower
“And if you tolorate this then your children will be next”
Hat-tip Manic street preachers
Hat-tip the Spanish Republicans, actually.
Ken promises ” Rain every day ” if elected.
If an umbrella could become a Bow…
You would probably get wet in the rain.
It’s hard to hold your nose and umbrella at the same time.
+++++
Yep, another good one
Ken “Even God is crying while listening to me”
“Why Mr Ken,you speak so fine,sure glad you know what’s best for us coloured folk”
” AND WHO VOTED FOR ALAN SUGAR?”
Ken Sings
Why Rain on my Parade
King “Kens Steve Mclaren impression is quite good really”
I’d rather be in Venezuela.
Perhaps if I hold my nose …….. nope he still stinks
Ken acting as a negotiator at the new siege, the voters don’t want to vote for Ken.
‘Ken’s head dissolves in acid rain attack, Oona not fit for purpose’
Guido looks like Neo is celebrating.
Part of London’s Tottenham Court Road has been cordoned off after a man started throwing objects from the fifth floor of an office building.
Witnesses said the man was throwing computer equipment out of the building.
Back O/T
Oona hold umbrella over Ken knowing it wont save him.
Shouldn’t have installed Windows Vista on the fucking thing.
Probably Tat.
Chris Carter
On Monday 16th January, 2012 the High Court of Justice in Northern Ireland certified that it was satisfied that there are no points of law of general importance involved in the decision given on 14th February, 2011 and refused leave for Mr. Carter to appeal to the Supreme Court of the United Kingdom.
Mr. Carter was imprisoned in Magheraberry High Security prison on 29th January 2012. He had faced a 47 day jail term for non payment of fines and costs, although he was released after just three days when his fine was paid following an Internet campaign.
It has been noted that the three Lord Justices who heard Mr. Carter’s appeal were all members of the Privy Council. Furthermore, the legislative Instrument which imposed the Smoke Free Restrictions in Northern Ireland is The Smoking (Northern Ireland) Order 2006 No. 2957 (N.I.20). This Order was approved by the Privy Council held by the Queen at Buckingham Palace on 14th November 2006. Counsellors present included The Lord President of the Council (Rt Hon Baroness Amos), Sir Brian Leveson (now Lord Leveson) and Elish Angiolini.
In such circumstances a fair minded and informed member of the public would surely ask whether individuals who are members of a legislative body (Privy Council) should also be permitted to sit in judgement of transgressors of the legislation that body approves? For as Montesquieu pointed out:
there is no liberty if the powers of judging is not separated from the legislative and executive.
It should be noted that in July 2010, Secretary-General of the United Nations Ban Ki-moon announced Baroness Amos’ appointment to the role of Under-Secretary-General for Humanitarian Affairs and Emergency Relief Coordinator.
Sir Brian Leveson now Chairs the Phone-hacking inquiry where he sits alongside Sir David Bell, former Trustee of Common Purpose. In 2002 David Bell was a Global Compact Advisory Council Member at the United Nations.
http://www.ukcolumn.org/article/judge-jury-executioner
http://www.ukcolumn.org/article/judge-jury-executioner
“If I pull away the umbrella I wonder which one of us will melt first?”
I never thought I’d get to use this gift from Gaddafi…
Ken: “Err, my tax details got washed away in all this rain, honest!”
Ich bin ein umbrella
Oona left holding Ken’s umbrella after turning down £1000 for a night in the sack with a Tory MP.
Rather than publish my tax arrangements in full I thought it better to give a visual representation of how it works , you see when its raining you have a cold financial wind you need somthing mysterious to avoid getting a tax soaking , an umbrella represents my company , offering a tax shelter , the haven holding it is just some window dressing ……….
” Never mind Miliband’s, bananas will be this big under me “
‘Mmmmmm… that reminds me, I must remember the rat poison on
the way home ‘
His crony McConnell should be called to account in the House of Lords
http://www.scotland.gov.uk/Resource/Doc/216107/0057803.pdf
Oona: “You over there from Channel 4 – no panning shots and get close-up on Ken – or I’ll have your balls on a plate if advertisers see the Head of Diversity holding a brolly just so some dead white male can talk out of his arse”.
To her disappointment , Ken had prudently already taken the antidote to the poison in her Bulgarian Secret Service umbrella.
Ken on load hailer at full volume “He wants a signature, do not, repeat do not let my accountant through”
‘ Oona was not surprised by Ken’s refusal to release his tax details
but she was surprised by his double incontinence ‘
Oona: One scratch on his bare bonce with this KGB umbrella and the polonium pellet will begin its deadly work…Hehehe!
O/T but this just in:
“there’s an armed siege/hostage situation in Capper Street off Tottenham Court Road just now. The building houses the Huffington Post and an HGV school. The police have sealed off the area.”
BSDevil: “Unbelievable – the windbag’s speech has gone on longer than the drought.”
“We have piece for our time.”
BSD: “I just hope he lives long enough to read my memoirs and see how I voted – first UKIP, second Boris!”
“Guess what the “Blairite she-devil” is thinking…”
Come on Guido… this is Oona you’re talking about.
An empty-headed lefty and fan of Blair.
She’s incapable of thinking of anything.
King,’ I could have been a contender, I could have been somebody…’
Dr Livingstone said King was suffering from a depressive illness and extreme anxiety and agitation, and the stress of the proceedings and allegations of she was facing made it impossible for her to make a statement other than the one prepared by his accountant, which he will be publishing in due course. He said she felt feelings of abandonment by the Labour party and shame that her career was over.
As Ken reached the crescendo of his speech and he bellowed ‘I love London’ King knew it was time to deploy the brollys to shield the media from Ken’s spontaneous,unrehearsed floods of tears.
Ken: ‘And as my old friend Jonathan King once wisely said “”Oona Paloma Blanca”.
BSDevil: “Oh dear God, he had curried cabbage for lunch!”
What they’re all thinking.
Press – he must think we’re right mugs
Ken – these people are right mugs
King – did I leave the iron on?
When they told me he talked out of his arse, I didn’t believe them. I do now!
O/T
You just know who is going to be involved in this and what form it will take…
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-17867802
Test centre staff? Driving instructors? Go on, give me a clue.
What group of people have a reputation (world-wide, it’s been the stuff of American comedy for quite some time) – for being hopeless at driving cars.
And would therefore need a little ‘help’ getting a driving licence.
Clue: it’s also a group of people who are infamously corrupt when it comes to helping each other out. And there are quite a lot of them in the cities that were mentioned in the article.
Women?
Nuneaton? Leicester? Yorkshire?
Can you see what it is yet?
My brother went to Handsworth Grammar School thirty plus years ago. They were pulling the same stunt at the entrance tests back then too.
Thick c*unts, who had supposedly passed a competitive Verbal Reasoning exam, who could hardly hold a pen when they showed up for the first day and went on to record the dizzying academic total of fuck all ‘O’ Levels after five years of grammar school.
It’s in their culture to behave this way. Stop imposing your inferior Western Imperialist cultural values on other diverse communities.
If that’s what this is about.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2135084/Takeaway-boss-carried-campaign-harassment-generations-family-including-girl-14-told-police-pestered-sex.html
We cant help it, deceit, graft, corruption lies and thieving is in our DNA, those Indian and Pakistani chappies are the same.
BSDevil: “I’m a woman of principle, no way am I getting my tits out in this weather.”
When Ed said I would be parachuted in…
Ken can’t add up! Taxes still to be accounted for
This lighting ceremony for Ken’s Beacon of Islam is turning into a damp squib.
Right. The Penguin said if I press this button, the umbrella will turn into a…
Oona is thinking of that episode of the Simpsons with the “old man stink”
If Farage or Grifffin don’t get in to Wesminister soon then expect more and more suicide bombers in London and up and down the country.
I rather suspect events at the London Olympics will boost Gr!ff!n’s chances of becoming an MP.
Something tells me that the point spread in the basket ball will have minimal electoral impact. Is it Lord Coe’s choice of tie that concerns you?
Doing her best Mary Poppins, Oona snaps her fingers and Ken’s tax details mysteriously disappear
Gawd Mayor of a shithole
An just when Oona thought this day couldn’t get any worse, Lee Jasper suddenly called her a coconut.
I thought me and Dianne were really good on Question Time last night. It was just like the BBC said it would be – there would be rapturous applause every time we opened our mouths. The BBC said that because we’re not very clever, it would be best not to get involved in reasoned discussion but to stick to juvenile rhetoric because the audience would love it. The best part was the bit about the housing benefit cap and it gave me the chance to call it ethnic cleansing and to compare it to the holocaust. The audience absolutely loved it.
Boris Johnson has done more damage to London the Luftwaffe,
It’ll be in tomorrows guardian
A liberal is somebody who did all their thinking before the age of 21.
Oona King: Can’t imagine tony bl(hot)air doing this for a living …. and after all the lying the whole new labour project did for him – we’re reduced to living out his lies while he cashes in …. we’ve all been taken for a ride by Bliar.
For £19million I will tell you about my new idea to get us out of this mess. Leave a cheque with my secretary
BSDevil: *sigh*
“…things can only get better..”
*sobs*
Chim chiminee, chim chiminee, chim chim cheree, when you support Labour, it’s shit companeee.
king quietly hums to herself “things can only get better,can only get better”
As Ken looks round to see who’s been shouting “pay your taxes! Pay your taxes!”
Oona thinks ” gosh..did I say that out loud?”
When you used the word kukaburra yesterday, I was taken back to my childhood and an incident where a friend had decided to name her dinghy after the bird. So she proudly went out and bought two as, two ks, two rs and two us. Completely forgot the b!
Come to think of it, that is what I want to do when he loses.
OK : “Mr Livingstone, there’s quite a crowd building up in Tottenham Court Road, perhaps you might like to try there next”
Oona : Psst! Psst! Ken! They are the phographers…I’m the only one who turned up to listen to you.
Stupid girl must be sadistic ken is just atrocious
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even in the pouring rain he still sounds quite atrocious
When stroking his pet newt at home he might be less ferocious
But I’m not going to his flat.He’d think I was precocious.
Stupid girl must be sadistic ken is just atrocious
Just that whiny voice of his is making me quite nauseous
If he doesn’t stop it soon I’ll hang him by his bollocks
Stupid girl must be sadistic ken is just atrocious
I’m not dressing up as a newt for that devious bastard.
‘Oona, get a bigger brolly, I can’t smoke this reefer in this sodding rain!!’
Silveta’s new employee realises that her job doesn’t match the description she was given…
Oooh! I want to stick this right up his J……..
Which one of you is Mary Poppins and why is it still raining?
Moderator:
Is my comment made at 1.48pm too hot to handle, still awaiting moderation.
Tat’s real name?
Is it Michael Green?
Mary Poppins takes a break from helping Bert sweep the chimneys.
Hurry up Ken the pasties are getting cold.
I’m a prize hypocrite on just about any subject you care to mention, just ask my umbrella wallah!
It’s raining, it’s pouring, and Ken is so f*cking boring.
Caption:
” That guy with the long pole has just nicked my wig”
man those trousers are good, you cant see his tail…
A spoonful of hypocrisy helps the taxes go down.
Vaz in a wig will stoop to anything to get in the picture!
Let’s hope it conducts lightening.
Ken’s servant looks concerned as his Hammer & Sickle flag gets blown away!
What a monger!
Oona is thinking:
Who is going to be unlucky enough to win a book about Ken Livingstone’s unlimited capacity for deceit?
Women of a certain colour will go to the wall…
You were shite on QT last night, not quite sure why you are continually invited, oh yes it’s the BBC!
Although, you being a racist, even the BBC should over look you now and give a new face a chance!
F***k, forget the caption nonsense, I’ve just found out that the former “Diversity Officer” is now F*****g Baroness KIng of Bow how did that F*****g happen, she’s not even related to Martin Luther either!
NuLiebor B******s
Hence comment-1277055 @ 1:36 pm
Got it, although didn’t get it when you posted as I was in blissful ingnorance of her well deserved elevation to the criminally inclined red benches! at that point.
It’s that wafer thin line between subtlety and no one understanding a bleeding thing you are talking about!
It’s where they end up when they can no longer progress in the real world. There, or Croatia.
Close. Currently in Austria actually.
Comrades, I said poison a Banker not a Wanker.
” London councils seek to move housing benefit claimants to Newcastle.”
Fuck off. We’ve already got more than our fair share of useless parasitic scumbags.
Most of them work for the council.
‘If he thinks I’m holding the umbrella over him whilst I’m getting wet he can think again!’
Hey MPs. Want to commit fraud and get away with it? Do what I did! Cry continuously and say your name is half past ten and you live in a cheesecake. Worked for me!
‘Allegedly’ Carl Gardner may have dreamed up that ruse for the Moron. He caaant even spell redact properly!
That’s most odd. I’m standing behind him yet I can see his face!
Ditto!
Police have arrested a man in Tottenham Court Road after he threatened to blow up an office.
He’s expected to walk free after his solicitor said his client was too agitated and depressed to be charged and wouldn’t be fit to stand trial.
We hired the wrong solicitors!
+1
Bugger! i was supposed to be welcoming Bin Ladens family to Britain, i bet that oily fucker Vazeline will get there first.
Oi, I’m a registered trade mark! Can you please ensure you put a little ® next to my name. The last thing I want to see is a dilution of my brand.
An apology will suffice and ensure that the very expensive lawyers that I retain will not on this occasion be required.
A man who sold counterfeit medicines, including Viagra, has been told to hand over more than £14m by Southwark Crown Court.
He kept customer’s details in a folder entitled the “Thick People File”.
The Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA) said it was the largest confiscation order against a dealer in fake medicines.
Gawd, no matter how many umbrellas he uses, he still gets covered in shit
I want cash or ay least three bottles of a decent red for this gig. If the tight old bastard tries to fob me off with a poxy book about himself this brolly’s going to add to his congestion problem.
“Yes Ken, some coonts are useful, but not you!”
Whilst Ken is saying Tax avoiders are rich bastards who don’t get it, Oona is thinking You are a rich bastard who gets it all.
Your friends tell me I’d be good for you.
You appеar to be under the misimpression that I have friends.
Well, they said they were your friends.
… and you spеak without thinking too.
Ooh you nasty little man, little wonder you’ve got no friends.
Yes but I don’t pretend so as to make people like me.
One man – two votes just doesn’t cut it in Tower Hamlets.
Unlike Scotland, where it’s one man one vote, and it’s Salmond who has the one vote.
Great init!
Well, so far we’ve managed to keep him away from direct sunlight. I just hope nobody’s got a mirror.
Or a silver bullet.
Was I meant to be Fred or Ginger?
Come on, who invited Hattersley?
“It should have been me!
It should have been me!
It should have been me!
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!!”
He really is talking out of his arse.
“Thank goodness it isn’t Prescott I’m out campaigning with…we’d need a bloody beach umbrella, FFS!
“Yes Ken, some co…..unts are useful, but not you!”
What does the content of this subway sandwich have in common with the underground strikers demands?
Erm–”Get Stuffed?”
Is I holdin’ dis umbrella to yo satisfaction massa?
….Careful, you’ll have Vain chasing your ass for comments like that!
♫ I’m singing in the rain! just singing in the rain!, what a glorious feeling I’m Ha-pee again! ♫.
Mong!
A word of warning the book:
“THE TRUTH ABOUT KEN – His Cronies, His Scandals and His Hypocrisy…”
Is over 14.5 old english inches thick, it is not obvious from the one dimensional thumbnail picture.
Kens head is 14 and a half inches thick.
When you need me but do not want me, then I must stay.
10:10 WILL KILL YOU IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH THEM
http://www.thecommentator.com/article/1150/loony_left_what_happened_to_global_warming_
Right thats enough Anti Guido & Chicken umbrella’s up, now i can say what i like!
SuperKenifraudilisticTaxavoidanoxious
When they told me Ken needed help with his shelter arrangements I thought it was his tax shelter.
Oona: “It’s a Bulgarian umbrella“
“At this stage as polling day approaches I would just like to congratulate Boris on his spectacular win. I will now retire to my tax shelter and sulk “
I don’t need an umbrella, I need a paddle!
Apprentice contestant fails again
“Do you no Ken?” As the Scotsman said…
I don’t know what Ken said but he is right (until May 3rd)
“The Labour Party is riddled with hypocrites.”
Ken is too big for his boots.
Thank you Galloway for beating me. Thank you Ken for beating me. I am your humble servant.
Ken’s policy for increasing employment opportunities for black Londoners.
Aide seeks the shelter of an umbrella from the bile spewing from Ken
Bwana Livingstone takes up the white man’s burden, with his well-trained native bearer in attendance.
Ken to bloke in the front row (his accountant): ‘Jasper dropped them off at your office.’
Accountant: ‘Doctored, Livingstone, I presume?’
Oona: I wonder if the public have clocked the stooge audience placeman in QT last night who got his assertions on immigration all wrong – and will Dim Dumblebelly correct the error next time round?
Yes.
Not only was he a Labour stooge, but the BBC obviously made sure that they acquired someone who might appear to be an “expert” present, was pre-briefed with the questions and was situated in a prime position.
May they get what they deserve.
Oona lately Lady Bow,
Vengeful nigga, keeping close,
Evil follows leaden show,
Oona, mete the killer blow!
Oona: “this is the first time I’ve held an umbrella to protect a drip from getting wet”
“My opponent has been rightly castigated for referring to ‘picaninnies’ with ‘watermelon smiles’. I want to assure you that I will always treat our black citizens with the respect they deserve.’
Oona says, “But if it were urine hosing down, nothing would be folded more quickly than this umbrella”
If he was any more wooden, I’d have to soak him with that job lot of dry-rot treatment that Margaret Moran has in Southampton.
Ken might be ignoring Boris’s doughnut, but Christ on a Bike I wish I didn’t have to look at Ken’s.
“Servetta also pays Oona to hold my umbrella for me. I can’t possibly be racist as I employ one of them.”
This ex-Bulgarian Secret Service Umbrella was a bargain… I wonder what happens if I press this button…. oops
muslim umbrellas … I will turn the city of london into a beacon of Islamic rain preventors … just vote for me …. please!
This is your ASH approved smoking shelter not an umbrella.
Ken “And with this device in my hands they can actaully hear me where I do pay my fair share of tax”
Ken: I believe I have the entire Asian community voting for me – teenagers, adults, the old and especially the dead
“practically perfect in every way”.
King: I remember when I was a cabinet member, and now here I am carrying Ken’s booze for a living.
“When I said that I wanted to see the back of him………….
+1
Too legit to quit.
Oona – thinking: If only the public knew that Alex Salmond’s put up job with that Welsh MP Adam wotsisname to ‘impeach’ Blair some years ago was all in fact a put up job to protect Murdochs man at No 10 (Bliar) …. the peasents are still clueless dumbasses and the Senior Press Corps know it – ‘cos they’re part of … – I’ll get my knighthoody even if I have to support this kenscum. umm Scum – they do say it rises to the top!
‘Just like Mary fucking Poppins.’
i said either a black brolly or a bitch with a brolly not both!!!
“Blimey, this equality business is harder than you’d think. How did I come to be here, standing a couple of paces behind the old white massa, sheltering him with my umbrella?”
I wonder how long it will be until he realises he’s talking into a hairdryer…
“It’s only a shower – and what a shower he is!”
He’s not the Mayor. He’s a very naughty boy.
I have an Obama tee-shirt like that, with the words “He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!”. I picked it up in Weymouth, a place not known for political correctness, although they did vote for a Labour MP once, silly sods. I also picked up a tee-shirt of Elvis, with the words “Burger King”.
Don’t worry, it’s just a shower…
god i whish i was mary poppins , spit spot…..
Brolly Holder says :
I’m really Wendy Deng in disguise .
So no custard pies or you know what;s comimg !!