Mayoral Election Reduced to Whining
Just when the Mayoral election was getting a little bit dry, the fine people at Oddbins have lined up a special selection of wines relevant to each candidate:
Boris is apparently a Diane de Belgrave Haut-Medoc Bordeaux. “Just like the current Mayor, the wine has been around since 2008, is classic old-school with a posh upbringing and a fruity side” Guido would have gone with Blue Nun…
Thirsty Ken Livingston is paired off with a Cape Chamonix Pinotage. “The perfect wine for Ken must go with newts, carry real weight and also have legs – as it doesn’t look like he is ever going to retire.” He’ll have a crate of it, though surely he’s a Cuban rum?
Paddick is apparently a Berton Paddock Shiraz. The name aside apparently it has “liberal fruity characteristics”. Not your average jungle juice…
You may be able to win these in the caption contest tomorrow. Guido will get back to you on that…
So what!
Get a proper job, you fat c’unt.
So fat.
Ken is more like a bottle of vinegar. Aged, bitter and there’s less tax involved.
Is not ken a champagne man , apparently it goes well with his socialism
“You may be able to win these in the caption contest tomorrow. Guido will get back to you on that…”
http://order-order.com/2012/03/30/friday-caption-contest-bus-to-nowhere-edition/ = No Winner chosen
http://order-order.com/2012/03/23/friday-caption-contest-binge-britain-edition/ = No winner annouced
And this one
http://order-order.com/2012/03/09/friday-caption-contest-second-job-edition/ = No winner chosen
8illy. One win should suffice.
I am very surprised. I did not think Guido was the type.
Click on a few of them adverts. Only then might I have enough cash to announce winners!
First prize – one bottle of Oddbins plonk; second prize…
I lasted 1 minute 37 seconds.
I gave up when I realised it wasn’t Ron Jeremy…
Go watch ‘X factor’ or maybe ‘Deal or no Deal’ then, or for the ADHD sufferers try 6:15 onward.
43 minutes, for fuck’s sake. Fuck that.
Cape Chamonix Pinotage – a preposterous little number reminiscent of the glue on lots of postage stamps, with an aftertaste of spice and hyperbola
I tasted Chamonix Pinotage at the vineyard and it scored 6 out of 10. Chamonix have better wines. Ken should be given a box of Turd’s Way Cabernet.
As for Paddick he should be on tap water.
Cameron something syrupy like a Greek sweet red wine, good for Coq au Vin though.
Livingstone is a fine Margeuax – he’ll cost you a fortune if you choose him!
O/T but funny, courtesy of Wiki.
“Lesbian wine is wine made on the Greek island of Lesbos in the Aegean Sea. The island has a long history of wine making dating back to at least the 7th century BC when it was mentioned in the works of Homer”.
Vivamus, Lesbia mea atque amemus.
passer mortuus est meae puellae,
I laughed.
Homer simpson
I bet it comes in big fat mis-shapen bottles and has a sour chippy taste.
I bet it comes in big f@t mis-shapen bottles and has a sour chippy taste.
Wine is for poofs and….er…….winos
All Wines will be banned when satan’s metropolis falls to the forces of Islam, and becomes Londonistan!!!!
Allhua Akbar!!!!!!!!!!
If you’ve seen Tower Hamlets recently, you’d be forgiven for thinking that’s already happened.
I’ve never seen Tower Hamlets. It sounds quite posh though.
I can get you a lovely bijou loft conversion there for about £400k
Its a loft in crack den and white slave trade house. But there’s a lovely view of HMS Belfast.
All you need to know about Pienaar is that he wrote an angling column having never angled
I knew a football reporter many years ago who wrote for a national daily. He used to buy half a dozen of the Sunday papers and the rephrase bits from all of their reports to make up his own reports of the previous Saturday’s matches. I don’t believe he ever went to a real live match in his life.
Now WTF has that been muddied?
What a disappointing last paragraph / sentence Guido.
Please send H@rry home.
Have a watch of the Permanent Secretary Jonathan Stephens stonewalling video. A few things:
How annoying are the two ladies behind him (one texting, the other playing with her hair).
And what are those stupid lapel badges (that seem to be emerging all over the place) – the size of tulips – he and the bloke behind him are wearing?
Are there other wine merchants other than ODDBINS, then? I always found THRESHERS offered a far superior service.
You can’t pull the wool over my eyes, mate. Your prices are higher than most but the seedy settings fool people into thinking they must be getting a bargain.
In fact, anyone setting up in business would do well to sprinkle sawdust on their floor and watch the punters roll in for those rock-bottom deals.
I’m a Buckfast man myself. I’m also a fast-buck man. Strange how that works out.
Dear Rupert,
Just to let you know I never loved you and all the time we were together I faked all my orgasms.
And I want you to return my arctic monkey cds, Ben 10 boxset and that signed book ‘how I saved you all- Ah Haa!’ that I gave you for Christmas.
I shall send a taxi round and it will also drop off Brooke’s knickers that she left at the slumber party that never happened.
yours sadly,
your ex – James Gordon Brown Mp {semi -retired}
Blue Nun? Are you fucking insane? I wouldn’t feed that to my wife!
well you cares – had chateau lafite tonight – nanananana
Paddick should be J.P.Chenet Chardonnay – the one with the slightly bent bottle.
Ken should be something mean, acid and tasteless.