April 24th, 2012

Secretary of State Spook Connection

While all eyes are on a different courtroom this morning, the inquest into a the dead spook in a bag has already taken a fiction worthy turn of events. Channel Four reported last night, but have not written up on their website, the evidence submitted to the inquiry by the estate agent who managed the Pimlico pad where Gareth Williams was found dead and locked in a bag, saying it was rented from a company in St Hellier by an unnamed Secretary of State in September 2003. MI6 reports to the Foreign Secretary – if the flat was leased by anyone else then this will look very dodgy…

Jack Straw was Foreign Secretary at the time, and what with being sued for allegedly clearing extraordinary rendition, this is yet another very awkward headache for the elder statesman. It’s not yet come out whether the lease was transferred to subsequent Foreign Secretaries, but tongues are wagging…


  1. 1
    Will Straw says:

    Shut up and pass me a joint.

  2. 2
    tommy5d says:

    It’s all a bit “The Killing”…

  3. 3
    keredybretsa says:

    Poor old fella looking forward to meeting Alzi Heimer the way to forget!!

  4. 4
    Dave Cameron says:

    I’m calling it here first – Straw bummed and killed him.

  5. 5
    Buy a tin hat says:

    Do not go into the woods for a walk today Guido!
    Seen Alisdair lately?

  6. 6
    Purpleline says:

    Isn’t there a story alleging he broke into an office for some very important papers as a young activist, perhaps he was always their man or they turned him.

    Question have MI6 been infiltrated by Reds?

  7. 7
    The General Public says:

    Very much hoping to see Jack Straw get some long-overdue comeuppance, the slippery, evasive little shit.

  8. 8

    This company in St Helier, was it ‘Ian Cameron Tax Evasion Services Ltd’ by any chance?

  9. 9
    Desperate Dan says:

    I seem to remember Jack Straw decided to open up security recruitment to multi-culturalism. He wanted illegal immigrants, jihadists, Israeli illegal settlers, untrustworthy foreigners and Pakistani suicide bombers to be given preference over British candidates who might possibly be patriots. Williams was probably betrayed by one of his multi-cultural colleagues. – So Straw can also be charged with accessory to murder.

  10. 10
    Porks says:

    God I cried with laughter at that. Brilliant.

  11. 11
    Jeez, you really are joking says:

    Elder statesman? I’ve just sprayed a mouthful of meths over my screen!

  12. 12
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Is this the Norman Scott NI story, doing Jeremy Thrope a favour?

  13. 13
    AC1 says:

    Thermogeddonist Ben Goldacre:”I won’t go to a debate because I’ll lose.”


  14. 14
    Specsavers says:

    Have you photoshopped Happy Jack’s Himmler glasses off!

  15. 15
    Memory Man of Straw says:

    What payments by a Texan gas company?

  16. 16
    Q says:

    The court case will be set right after the Huhne alleged speeding offence. Right around the 12th of never

  17. 17
    AC1 says:

    Vast Impenetrable Bureaucracy with huge budget and chance to feel good about yourself.
    Very little chance of the public finding out what you do?

    Of course Reds are going to flock to MI6 like flies to shit.

  18. 18
    Jack Straw says:

    Look, the man committed suicide and in his dying moments got into a bag, dismembered himself and padlocked the bag. What’s the problem?

  19. 19
    Vazeline® The Slipperiest Substance On The Planet says:

    He once rubbed shoukders with me and…….it rubs off!

  20. 20
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Look, look, I’m a safe pair of hands.

  21. 21
    Jack Straw says:

    Look, Mrs Thatcher disguised herself as me, got into my office and signed the rendition papers. What’s the problem?

  22. 22
    Pillar box person from Blackburn says:

    Good he wanted to ban my Niqab as it made a good sound bite at the time

  23. 23
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Nude muppet show.

    Oh, bugger, the caption competition isn’t until Friday.

  24. 24
  25. 25

    The values of the Labour Party are
    • social justice
    • strong community and strong values
    • reward for hard work
    • decency
    • rights matched by responsibilities

    Jack Straw and his accomplices did not achieve one of those objectives in 13 years.

    It is time grass roots heirs of Ramsay MacDonald removed their lying, cheating, champagne sociopath leaders for all our sakes

  26. 26
    Diego Garcia says:

    Why is my name mentioned in every Straw story? I have never met the man

  27. 27
    Piper-Payers-R-Us says:

    Who owns Jack Straw these days?

  28. 28
    Divide and rule, honky! says:

    I’m surprised Guido isn’t covering today’s piece in the Telegraph by Lee Jasper in which he says blàck people can’t be ràcist.

  29. 29
    Col Nut says:

    No, it was a bag lady.

  30. 30
    The Boss says:

    And let us never forget Jack Straw welcoming an illegal immigrant to the UK with a shake of the hand as he climbed out of the back of a truck in Dover,inspiring 10’s of thousands to come to the land of ‘milk n’ honey’.

  31. 31
    The Indian Ocean Water Board says:

    Life’s a beach

  32. 32
    Lee Grasper says:

    Stupid Honkey using à in racist!

  33. 33
    Jack Straw says:

    Oy Vey, it was The Mossad what did it!

  34. 34
    Col Nut says:

    I think you greased him to fit in the bag.

  35. 35
    Steve Miliband says:

    It was clearly a shut and shut case

  36. 36
    Q says:

    An immigrant metaphor of kissing a baby

  37. 37
    Jack Straw says:

    I had an elderly Holocàust survivor manhandled and detained under the Prevention of Terrorism Act for heckling me.

    Vote Labour! We’re the nice party!

  38. 38
    RED ED - SON OF BROWN says:

    Straw – a Liebour elder statesman slippery little toady, hired for his ‘guile and low cunning’. http://bit.ly/cgdmuX

  39. 39
    Film Buff says:

    Godfather Part III was one of your greatest!

  40. 40
    Abu Craptada says:

    I’d like to backdate my benefits to 1754.

  41. 41
    Farage for PM says:

    Don’t miss the UKIP mayoral candidate on Brillo’s show at midday.

  42. 42
    Ferry Boy says:

    Personally, I do not see what right a couple of Universities for outside London have to shut down the Thames every year for a race when antipodean folk might fancy a swim.

  43. 43
    Loungelizard says:

    How many Labour Ministers claimed expenses on this flat? we must be told!

  44. 44
    Dr Who says:

    With your belief system dating from the 11th century you should go further back matey. No doubt you’ll get it

  45. 45
    rick says:

    You know whooz!

  46. 46
    AC1 says:

    They achieved the opposite of Justice, punishing the productive to reward the feckless.
    Dangerous communities with alien values.
    Record Punishment for work
    The chav.
    Rights are restrictions on the state. It would be entitlements matched with responsibilities.

    LABOUR = Epic Fail.

  47. 47
    AC1 says:

    The Isis is a synonym for the Thames, they’ve just gone a bit further down stream hehe. But good point.

  48. 48
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Par for the course for the loony AGW crowd. As are misrepresentation, personalised attack, dishonest statistics, overhyped disaster warning and of course, outright and continual lying.

  49. 49

    All of them – and they still are.

  50. 50
    AC1 says:

    That’s also the BBC definition of racism. It’s why the vast (not just for the population size) amount of black on white crime is given zero priority.

  51. 51
    Corleone says:

    Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.

  52. 52


    Makes more sense than anything Labour ever did.

    Just why did you keep it quiet.

  53. 53
  54. 54

    Anyone fancy a pint of the black stuff?

  55. 55
    Ken for Mayor says:

    Nice one Jack

  56. 56
    Goonwatch says:

    He’s on sale on Ebay for £1.50.

  57. 57
    Lee Grasper says:

    At least some of us are honest and admit our crimes

  58. 58
    Big Mamma says:

    During Labour over its 13 year holding of office it will truly be a miracle if the Israilis’, Russians and Iranians found the time to penetrate both MI5 and MI6. They simply answered the advertisements with a “qualified” candidate.
    Jack “man of” Straw was possibly the most least effective in this post, but got away with it by “being reasonable” in his arguments.

  59. 59
    The Man of Straw says:

    I bend any way the wind is blowing – was that you farting Tony?

  60. 60
    The house that Jack built says:

    I hear Jack’s son is a bad egg too.

  61. 61
    Desperate Dan says:

    I seem to remember Jack Straw decided to open up security recruitment to multi-culturalism. He wanted illegal immigrants, jihadists, illegal settlers, untrustworthy foreigners and Pakistani suicide bombers to be given preference over British candidates who might possibly be patriots. Williams was probably betrayed by one of his multi-cultural colleagues. – So Straw can also be charged with accessory to murder.

  62. 62
    Desperate Dan says:

    I seem to remember Jack Straw decided to open up security recruitment to multi-culturalism. He wanted illegal immigrants, jihadists, untrustworthy foreigners and Pakistani suicide bombers to be given preference over British candidates who might possibly be patriots. Williams was probably betrayed by one of his multi-cultural colleagues. – So Straw can also be charged with accessory to murder.

  63. 63
    Big Mamma says:

    He can’t even do the washing up.

  64. 64
    Spooky Tax Drones says:

    Its a need to know thing. If you need to know, its probably you we are spying on.

  65. 65
    Tom Copley says:

    Where is Anonymous to put some positive left-wing spin on this?

    Fcuking interns. Ungrateful waste of space the lot of ‘em.

  66. 66
    Desperate Dan says:

    I’ve posted the same thing three times. I’ve left out references to chosen people cos I know you think they have to have special treatment and can’t be mentioned. And still you won’t publish. What’s the matter with you?

  67. 67
    I Remember You Hoo says:

    Didn’t Straw, as Home Seretary, try to send someone to prison for saying something that Straw admitted was 100% true, a few years later?

  68. 68
    Big Mamma says:

    Will never forget the enquiry when the presiding judge stated to the woman lawyer that Jack Straw is a lawyer. And her reply being “but his is not an international lawyer” Slap slap and headbut.

  69. 69
    Johnny says says:

    “where Gareth Williams was found cut up and locked in a bag”

    I thought he was just in the bag? Were the speculations at the time that he could have done it to himself a load of bullshit?

  70. 70
    Rinka says:


  71. 71

    And both Harriet and I thank you for it – the brown envelopes fitted snugly without catching.

  72. 72
    THE burnistoun butcher says:

    Anyone know if the Strawman was at Simpsons’ desparately trying to get some bag keys cut at the time of death?

  73. 73
    The BBC says:

    WE decide WHAT we do
    HOW we do it

    now piss off little people, pay your telly tax, – and let us EDYERKATE you!

  74. 74
    Mike Hunt says:

    You mean “The values of the Labour Party were at some time”

  75. 75
    Anonymous says:

    I reckon Straw is dead shifty not the first time he has been linked with Jersey – nasty kids stuff on the island , and never any comment from him. Don’t like him.

  76. 76
    yeah, right.... says:


  77. 77
    AC1 says:

    Those values are incompatible with marxism.

  78. 78

    After riding Shergar back to his flat for a quick game of Canasta with Lord Lucan.


  79. 79
    Me three says:

    That’s handy to know.

  80. 80
    Penfold says:

    St Helier registered company…!!

    Would that be St Helier the capital of Jersey by any chance? an offshore tax haven.

    Whilst one accepts the need for cut-outs and secrecy, how does the Sec for State justify the SIS using offshore tax havens.

    Scandal brewing methinks…

  81. 81

    Well overpriced – go short. Clare Short.

  82. 82
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    Great Renting property. PAID for by the TAX payer to some organisation based in some NON Taxable part of the world.
    You couldn’t make up the RATS NEST at the Heart of this Government. No wonder this country is Finished. Traitors!

  83. 83
    rick says:

    This is an extremely sensitive subject around here.

  84. 84
    genghiz the kahn says:

    Jack Accounting isn’t my strongest suit Straw- other than maxing out expenses and minimising tax liabilities.

  85. 85
    it's been proved by a canaian scientist (oxymoron surley) that right wingers r fick says:

    That’s such a witty comment you must be Jimmy, right?

  86. 86

    Sadly, more like cut and shut. Poor taste, sorry.

  87. 87
    it's been proved by a canaian scientist (oxymoron surley) that right wingers r fick says:

    Spelling mistakes were unintentional btw.

  88. 88
    Spartacus says:


  89. 89
    Rage Against the Political Elite. says:

    It beggars belief when you cant even leave the intelligence agency without getting the bullet. literally.

    The MAFIA do the same if you leave to early its usually in a box as they dont want anyone too know where the bones are hidden.

  90. 90
    a non says:

    What away to go- Clutching at Straw’s.

  91. 91
    Davey Cameron's bumsex army says:

    helps to show off his big schnozz better

  92. 92
    Alfa 101 detected on the Gaydar Screen says:

    Chris Bryant on Brillo now and not a Y front in sight

  93. 93

    Should we now know him as “JACK THE SHIPPER” – I think we should be told.

  94. 94
    "George Smiley" says:

    Well, the young lad was hanging around with some “unusual” characters, shall we say, and his computer had been used to access BDSM websites– when you play around in those circles, it’s all fun and games till somebody gets killed. Trust me, if we had done it, we’d have disposed of the corpse in a much more professional manner; we wouldn’t have left it in an apartment with a Minister’s title on the lease. The more intriguing question is why this poof was ever seconded to MI6 in the first place– was it his “Alan Turing” abilities, or his “Alan Turing” proclivities? This is probably a person who might know, if you catch my drift, but he seems to be a bit slow on the draw, as it were:

  95. 95
    A Tory says:

    Am I the only one to be impressed that Jack did the right thing for the national interest?

  96. 96

    It’s the Labour Party’s values now

    see their website


    Miliband has got some chutzpah to have this as his credo, as action speak louder than words and decency alone would immediately preclude Ken Livingstone from standing as a Labour candidate.

  97. 97
    Sniper says:

    Mugabe was an illegal immigrant?

  98. 98

    As you are using the name, I’d suggest you go back to the source and read up about the Lamplighters and their proclivities.

  99. 99
    Sniper says:

    Never mind Jack. At least you have never been accused of being a sex pest. Isn’t that right Jack?

  100. 100
    Webwrights says:

    The poor bloke was not “cut up”. He was in one piece in the bag, which is why it’s crucially important that he couldn’t have locked himself in.

  101. 101
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    If i have been paying for this flat I will want to know a bit more about it how much it has cost me and who the fuck has been using it and why.

    I will also want details of all rent reviews lease negotiations and any renovation repair and furnishing costs plus details of all utility payments made.

    And before I am told to fuck off I have three words to say: FREEDOM OF INFORMATION

  102. 102
  103. 103
    Spank Sinatra says:

    Ummm…. don’t quite follow your logic as regards his ability to have locked himself inside the bag being dependent upon whether his body was whole or otherwise. Do explain…..

  104. 104
    Lord Kinnock of Wind-Buggery. says:

    Better than sucking on Straw’s…

  105. 105
    Cressida says:

    The flat was completely clean after my lads carefully checked it. What else do I have to do to become Commissioner?

  106. 106
    Will says:

    +thousands and thousands

  107. 107
    WA3 says:

    He truly is an odious little self regarding prick.

    Still his results speak for themselves

    “Chris has contacted BT and arranged for the shoes that were tied to the telephone wires on Lodge Drive to be removed”

    Top notch

  108. 108
    The Left Wing says:

    Trayvon Martin, shot dead in Florida by a white neighbourhood watch warden in an unprovoked attack is referred to as a “black teenager” by the BBC.

    Shawn Tyson, who shot and killed two white tourists in Florida in an unprovoked attack is described by the BBC as….”a teenager”.

  109. 109
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Tribal, too.

  110. 110
    I can't be arsed to think up a new pseudonym says:

    Straw’s what?

  111. 111
    Well that wasn't even sore says:

    You got that right +100

  112. 112
    Webwrights says:

    There is no dispute about the fact that his body was not dismembered. Had he already been cut up, as Guido wrote, he would hardly have been in any state to do any locking himself. It would then have unquestionably have involved A.N.Other. His body was intact, therefore there remains room for doubt as to whether it was suicide/accident/ritual/murder/whatever.

  113. 113
    Rat's arse says:

    Jack Straw is the son of a conscientious objector. His father didn’t mind other people dying for freedom as long as he could sit on his ar*se and enjoy all the freedom their sacrifices entailed.
    Now we have the son, who is a c*ward also, as he never admits to doing anything wrong and never will take responsibility for anything he did/does. What a family!

  114. 114
    Anonymous says:

    Jack Straw is a C**t – full stop. Guilty of so much they should throw away the key. BUT one man controls his fate – David Cameron. The evidence is there to see a lot of the last government on trial, with some MI5/6 officers. Will Cameron allow it – NO F’IN CHANCE.

  115. 115
    Anonymous says:

    I blame the culture of partying and fast cars as reported elsewhere. Too busy playing at 007 yet lacking the characters civility.
    Smacks of Public School Behaviour, aided and abetted by the FSB and the CIA.

  116. 116
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    Only one ‘l’ in St, Helier please.

  117. 117
    Philby, Trilby and Wilby says:

    Yes, and 3 of the flocked off to Moscow just before the net closed on them.

  118. 118
    King Charles Street lamppost says:

    You seem to have overlooked the caravan lady and Ed’s bro. But all much of a useless muchness really.

  119. 119
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    He was big in Student Troubles way back. Was it the U.S. Embassy where the guy died trying to prevent the occupation. or was that Tariq Ali?

  120. 120
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    David Kelly anybody?

  121. 121
    Trahison des Clercs says:

    D a v i d K e ll y anyone?

  122. 122
    Handycock (Teen Fondler) says:

    Jack Straw was quite right to open up security recruitment to multi-culturalism ( I hope my Asian constituents are reading this, as well as the thousands of asylum seekers that I brought in to my constituency). As far as the security services are concerned, they should be abolished, especially MI5, after all the embarrassing questions they asked me about my private life, when Katia was being investigated. Boaz.


  123. 123
    (I've been renamed) DA-Notice says:

    Transfer a lease? Can you? Parties to a contract, signatories, etc. Possible novation…

  124. 124
    get them, get them all says:

    Straw’s going down.
    Blair next, hopefully.

  125. 125
    Desperate Dan says:

    The son of a conscientious objector is not fit to be an MP.

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