April 21st, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

Last week saw 100,187 visitors making 291,943 visits to view 453,319 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido or behind…


345 Comments

  1. 1
    Ed Mili Bandaid says:

    A vote for Ken is a vote for me!

  2. 2
    Tom Watson says:

    The stress of the hacking inquiry caused me to spend 9 hours playing video games while eating a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and popping my zits for my own amusement.

  3. 3
    £10 billion down the drain says:

    Does the EU have incriminating photos of Cameron and Osborne locked away in a safe somewhere? That can be the only explanation for why they’re committing political suicide by giving £10 billion to the EU. Isn’t it time for Tory MPs to call time on this coalition and Cameron’s leadership? He needs to be replaced and whoever takes over needs to clear the decks for a snap election.

  4. 4
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    The fightback starts in Bwadford.

  5. 5
    Fight! Fight! Fight! says:

  6. 6

    “Theres a GOOD boy Georgie, Aunty is very pleased.”

  7. 7
    Emperor Von Rumboy says:

    Yes ve do, Muhahahahaha.

  8. 8
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Don’t worry we’ll get the money back when Milibandwagon’s Liebore government end up going cap in hand to the IMF in 2015. Only they will charge us a higher rate than we are borrowing it at the moment.

    Don’t leave it to late to emigrate ;-)

  9. 9
    Carl Marks says:

    Louise???

  10. 10
    Carl Marks says:

    Look at it this way. We’re acting as the IMF’s Credit Union, preventing them from borrowing from Wonga.

  11. 11
    Guido Sir? says:

    Good week Guido.

    Holding steady at 100k a week.

    What happening with Guidogram?

  12. 12
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Dear Jim’ll Fix It :

    Please can you fix it for me to meet with Mr George Osbourne
    As i would dearly like to pulverise his face with a baseball bat
    i feel this would be very therapeutic for me and millions of other people and
    would help to stimulate our economy

    PS If Mr Cameron is free on the same day could you please send him along as well

    Thank You

  13. 13
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    The guy from the IMF on sky the other night said that the Euro is doomed to failure and that all the countries that have thrown money at it have little or no chance of ever getting any of it back !

  14. 14
    Ah! Monika says:

    Morning OT

  15. 15
    Ah! Monika says:

    The thought of seeing Guido running naked round Smith Square !!!

    Worth £10 Billion to avoid that sight.

  16. 16

    It is too late… now!

  17. 17

    Good morning your Excellency!

  18. 18
    Club Clegg says:

    Dave and Gideon have sealed their fates.
    Make sure you give all the LibLabCon-merchants a good kicking in the upcoming local elections.

  19. 19
    Carl Marks says:

    Groumiad?

  20. 20
    The Zookeeper says:

    A pair of lefties arguing with each other like monkeys over a peanut.

  21. 21
    Taxpayer says:

    Look at it this way. We are governed by traitorous liars

  22. 22
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Wait till the New EU benefit reforms come into force
    All member states have to give the same amount of benefits and are obliged to house any person who lives within the EU
    well i can see Londonistan being swamped with yet more Eastern Eurpoeans
    But dont some how see many Brit’s or Germans scurrying off to sign on and get housed in Estonia or Romania

  23. 23
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    “photos of Cameron and Osborne locked away in a safe somewhere”

    I’d like Cameron and Osborne to be locked away in a safe somewhere. At the bottom of the Marianas Trench, perhaps.

  24. 24
    Taxpayer says:

    Don’t vote. It is meaningless. No politician tells the truth.

  25. 25
    Taxpayer says:

    I might go and scrounge off the Germans

  26. 26
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    ‘governed’ isn’t quite the word I’d use.

    “Robbed”, “betrayed” or “shafted” seem more appropriate.

  27. 27
    Taxpayer says:

    No, I think they should be made to generate wind power by waving their arms about on the way down from the top of Beachy Head

  28. 28
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Just nearly had a fuckin heart attack !
    The BBC news reporting the opening of the growing number of food banks where our “desperately poor people ” Can go and receive lots of food from charities
    The couple being filmed were about 45 ish and said at least “they can feed their family for a few more days”
    Then they carried their enormous bags of freebies out to their 11 Plate Ford Focus and Filled the boot area with their free food before a big smile at the camera and driving off

    What the Fuck is going on with this country ?

  29. 29
    The Angel of Dearth says:

    Just wait until Cameron gets his way and Turkey’s population of 77 million join the EU.

  30. 30
    The Zookeeper says:

    Two monkeys fightng over an empty pe a nut shell

  31. 31
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Good morrow Sir Trust you are well ?

  32. 32
    Oxford English Dictionary says:

    the terms are synonymous these days.

  33. 33
    Carl Marks says:

    The car may be borrowed.

  34. 34
    His Cold Dead Hand says:

    He’ll never live to see it.

  35. 35
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    That will fuck the Indians up !
    When the Doner Kebab Takes over from Tikka Masala as Britains Number one dish !

  36. 36
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Did they borrow the insurance and fuel as well ?

  37. 37
    The Labour Party says:

    Yes. They should be driving a 12 plate by now. Tory cuts are forcing hard-claiming families to drive one year old cars.

    Proof, if any were needed, that Tories are evil heartless bastards. Vote Labour.

  38. 38
    The Good Samaritan says:

    Did anyone at the charity ask them?

  39. 39
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    No they didn’t , neither did they ask them what the fuck they spent their benefits on !
    I mean he might have had a broken fingernail , in which case he would qualify for a car on mobility

  40. 40
    Stand up top up cock up Dave says:

    Fawkes, I want to make absolutely clear, on the record to the bedwetters here, that I abhor those khunts who seek to avoid paying tax in the UK by setting up schemes in places like Panama, Geneva and Jersey. In fact, if I was ever to do such a thing, or be the beneficiary of such I thing, I swear here and now I would be so surprised and outraged I would go so far as to bang a woman!

  41. 41
    Jenson Button B.V. Brit hero and all round patriot! says:

    The Dutch Antilles doesn’t count though, right?

  42. 42
    Bollyrocket says:

    They will be quaking in their boots all the way to the moon

  43. 43
    naked runner says:

    Guido’s time limit for Osborne making a further IMF loan / donation came and went St Patricks day March 17th I believe.
    Neo Guido has left the building for a few days- now probably abroad seeking dispensation from the pope for Guido [ a man who usually always keeps his promise], to complete the Smith Square naked dash ASAP.
    Do you honestly think that a belated 10 billion loan this week absolves Guido of his responsibilities?

  44. 44
    We'd be better pissing it up against a wall at least we'd have some fun says:

    That ties in nicely with Osbornes freudian slip in tv interview that we were giving this money as a donation before correcting himself and calling it a loan.

  45. 45
  46. 46

    Yes. Fighting fit, thanks.

    But had a strange conversation with someone following replying to you last night.

    You must be careful on the interwebs – never know who you might meet…

  47. 47
    asocial services says:

    Broken fingernail! Nothing so severe. Just being left handed counts as a serious disability at our offices

  48. 48

    That’s a thought.

    What can one get for cock fatigue, I wonder?

  49. 49
    Theresa May says:

    Its my favourite day of the week today. i love Fridays.

  50. 50

    Maybe it comes with free cigarettes and booze?

    Oh, and a paid account at Corals.

  51. 51

    I salute his inde-fat-git-ability.

  52. 52
    say what you see says:

    Respect to Galloway for standing his ground. He wipes the floor with any opponent. Such a shame that Call me Dave &Co. haven’t got any balls.

  53. 53
    Anonymous says:

    Have you also noticed the BBC are running a storyline on Eastenders at the moment where one of the characters ( Bianca) has resorted to stealing food for her “starving” children. It appears there is no Social Security in Walford. This is clearly a subliminal piece of “austerity” propaganda.

  54. 54
    asocial services says:

    Forms being forwarded in the post Mr Cat

  55. 55
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I thought we were the obese capital of Europe.

    Shirley shome mishtake.

  56. 56
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    How about a splint ?

  57. 57
    Anonymous says:

    CAN YOU REALLY SUPPORT ANY OF THE 3 MAJOR PARTIES NOW?

    Or do you love to be continually fucked?
    May be you do?

  58. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t endorse any of the 3 major parties this spring!

    Fuck them, just like they fuck you!

  59. 59
    Anonymous says:

    I definitely wont vote for Boris now either, it’s UKIP for me now!

    Really, enough is enough.

    If you vote tory , you are supporting Osbourne’s bail out and I won’t endorse it!

  60. 60
    Anon says:

    mornin’ fuck face

  61. 61
    A two-faced, lying, cheating, double-crossing, cowardly, arrogant wastrel and ignoramus says:

    The only real difference between Gordo and me is that I went to Eton

  62. 62
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    What I dont understand is that if a rich man wants to make a donation to Charity why should I as a taxpayer have to subsidise his donation?

    I thought his clamping down on tax exemptions was one of Mr Cameron’s better ideas.

    What is so wrong with making charitable donations from your net pay?

  63. 63
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    I am going to the polling station this spring !
    and i’m going to draw a large penis on my ballot paper
    That will show tha bastards !

  64. 64

    He has immense clarity and force. That is beyond doubt.

    However, it does not matter how eloquently one says something that is basically wrong – it remains wrong.

  65. 65

    I was looking for a supply of totty…

  66. 66
    AC1 Kenobi says:

    It’s strange, but my light sabre doesn’t work unless I’ve had 15 pints of Tennents Super Strength.

  67. 67

    Oh hello, you cυnt!

    What bad wind blew you in?

  68. 68
    Carl Marks says:

    Self portrait?

  69. 69

    I thought you were in Rochdale – not Cockfosters.

  70. 70
    a non says:

    Vote “Save the Wales”

  71. 71
    Fair's Fair Fare says:

    Good idea!

    So will I! – could we start the um . . . . . Penis Partee? We could stand up for what’s Right!

    We don’t have to have a manifesto – just draw the secret sign wherever there’s a Prick – Drowning Street would be a good start.

  72. 72
    subsidised jock says:

    Ye can still get obese with free food ya ken.

  73. 73
    a non says:

    Save the Wails?

  74. 74
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Are you sure you’re Carl and not Skid ?

  75. 75
    hh says:

    Tom Watson appears to suggest that NewsnInternational were partially the cause of his marriage breakup

    I would suggest being a fuckingnarsehole did not help either

  76. 76
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Trouble is we only have one Erection every 5 years

  77. 77
    cockeyed says:

    Don’t forget to take a rubber. Would hate to think of you spoiling the ballot.

  78. 78
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Bury not Rochdale mate !

  79. 79
    Anon says:

    nothing in italics or bold? you must be upset

  80. 80
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Off to earn some more money for George to give the IMF

    Toodle Pip

  81. 81
    why you no call? says:

    Come back Bankok big boy, I luv you long time.

  82. 82
    Diane Fatfuck says:

    Divide and rule, it’s what whitey does.

  83. 83
    Toff E Nosedcunt says:

    So burning Eton school down would not make any difference then? I was just wondering if such a plan might make a difference one day in the future since all the utterly useless oiks seem to be products of that institution.

  84. 84
    Anon says:

    piss off then, who fucking cares?

  85. 85
    Durr... says:

    So on that logic and vote for Boris is a vote for Dave…..Durr! London, you deserve far better!

  86. 86
    annette curton says:

    Theresa ‘May get something right one of these days’.

  87. 87
    Ken says:

    oooh, inee bold?

  88. 88
    Dobby says:

    And so do we! (living – now just existing- in the UK). Still £10Billion off to the bankers. Oh Goody!

  89. 89
    True Stories says:

    A Woman has been arrested for entering a shop dummy as a candidate in local elections . Are they scared the dummy would get most votes ?

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-17784731

  90. 90
    Bonjour matelot xx says:

    Wave the sails?

  91. 91
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The argument these twats keep giving money to the IMF/EU/World Bank etc is the leftists keep telling us that failure of the EU will be even worse.

    This is like climate change a total fucking lie. All that would happen is EU Countries would revert back to their old currencies and the really shit Countries (that have always been shit economically) will have shit economies once again but you can get a cheap holiday there and the better ones will have a strong currency.

    I’m fed up bailing out the Greeks, how fucking thick are they? The only solution to fix their economy is to get out of the EU and get back their old currency, devalue and make it dirt cheap to go there for a holiday.

    Yet for some reason the Greeks are still in favour of being in the Euro (the one thing that is killing them) and still think that they can get out of this mess.

    The fucking Krauts don’t care, they will trash all these Countries so long as the Euro stays reasonably low against other top currencies as all they care about is flogging more of their shit cars to foreign rich people, if that fucks up Greece, Italy, Spain in the process, so be it.

  92. 92
    A naice hice waife says:

    I prefer waive the sales (tax)

  93. 93
    an ONS says:

    Good to see somebody making good use of the 0.2% increase in their National well being .

    http://www.ons.gov.uk/ons/index.html

  94. 94
    zoo keeper says:

    Who rattled your cage?

  95. 95
    mad king frankie goes to hollywood says:

    Is that the Royal ‘we’ Frankie? Always knew you had delusions of grandeur.

  96. 96
    Cooking Fat says:

    Miawo.

  97. 97
    annette curton says:

    Sperm count.

  98. 98
    Cooking Fat says:

    Or is it Miaow?

  99. 99
    Club Clegg says:

    Waive the rules. They’re only for little people.

  100. 100
    
    
    Don't know why you say that...
    
    _¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•_.. 
    
    
  101. 101
    erectile problem clinic says:

    He’s calling you a prick Frankie, I wouldn’t stand for that.

  102. 102
    Dobby says:

    It seems that Labour/Tory/Lib Dem are also synonyms

  103. 103
    boxing clever says:

    Completely unsuitable for Mr Cat.
    The lady’s a southpaw.

  104. 104
    V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

    Has everyone missed the disgusting spectacle of our supposed Leaders waiting for eeeuuu permission to send the scumbag terrorist home to Jordan. It’s time to Nuke Brussels and Strasbourg.

  105. 105

    My mistake. So you can bury your cockfosters in a roch.

    What they call Hey Wood? Are you Shaw?

  106. 106
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Who the fuck is this dim bird on the BBC news right now talking about the Harrier replacement? She’s supposed to know about aircraft yet claimed there were no runways in Afghanistan.

    She hasn’t got a clue about aircraft, the BBC are spinning a lie, the Labour government were the ones who originally intended to buy the STVOL Joint Strike Fighter, this version is a piece of shit.

    It makes sense to get rid of the ski jump and replace that with catapults that enables the carriers to operate the full range of NATO aircraft from it. Also the proper naval version of the JSF has better range and performance than the pointless STVOL version.

    The Tories should have cancelled both carriers and put Gordon Brown on trial for theft, but as we’re now stuck with them, we might as well spend the extra and have proper carriers.

    But that bird on the news should stick to cooking her husbands breakfast, how the fuck do women get jobs about defence when they don’t have a clue?

  107. 107
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    But Madam it is Saturday.

    And whilst I am here might I ask you to reply to my 28 unanswered emails about 100k of my money which has gone missing whilst under you control.

  108. 108
    AC1 says:

    Must be filed on the BBC site under beware of the leopard…

    UK counterterrorism police detain 3 at Heathrow

    http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-4218664,00.html

  109. 109
    Anonymous says:

    Even a broken clock is right twice a day, but she can’t even manage that the stupid cow.

  110. 110
    AC1 says:

    It’s the only way to be sure.

  111. 111
    horrorscope says:

    Surprised that Al quatada ignores his muslim / lunar calendar in preference to the Gregorian calendar [ when in Rome?] and Theresa did the opposite [ muslim calendar has 12 lunar months, 354/355 days.]
    A question of semantics? splitting hairs where January 17 to April 16th is 3 months, 13 full weeks due to our leap year February 29th.
    Intrugued what the court of appeal will decide.

  112. 112
    Dobby says:

    How manypoor underlings will she have sacked by then as part of her Ministerial Responsibility? She’s the one who should bugger off.

  113. 113
    AC1 says:

    Aha Mad-Tat the mad is here.

    Get well soon. Your Freudian projection makes me hope you can stop drinking as it obviously interferes with your medication.

    Get well soon.

  114. 114
    horrorscope says:

    Your comment is awaiting moderation.
    April 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

    Surprised that Al quatada ignores his muslim / lunar calendar in preference to the Gregorian calendar [ when in Rome?] and Theresa did the opposite [ muslim calendar has 12 lunar months, 354/355 days.]
    A question of semantics? splitting hairs where January 17 to April 16th is 3 months, 13 full weeks due to our leap year February 29th.
    Intrugued what the court of appe@l will decide.

  115. 115
    AC1 says:

    Mafia without the dress sense.

  116. 116
    AC1 says:

    Plaid Cymru?

  117. 117
    Fair's Fair Fare says:

    Ah!! – once every five years! – bugger!!

    Back to self-abuse.

  118. 118
    AC1 says:

    You are Jon Corzine and I claim my 50 Million hush money.

  119. 119
    AC1 says:

    There’s no subsidy. Just less tax extorted by the state.

  120. 120
    AC1 says:

    This idea’s political viagra.

  121. 121
    Anon says:

    you’re pissed again

  122. 122
    AC1 says:

    The psychiatrist did.

  123. 123
    BBC says:

  124. 124
    a non says:

    Am Byth

  125. 125
    going dutch says:

    Thanks for the tip, I’ve taken out a loan from Wonga.com, and I’ll invest that.

  126. 126
    East India Company Wallah says:

    Parroting the party line does not require knowledge

  127. 127
    AC1 says:

    Bagram Airfield

    Kandahar Airport

  128. 128
    Fair's Fair Fare (afterthought) says:

    Hey Frankie – were you speaking in Chink dialect just then? – as in errephant?

    If so sorry! – I got off in the wrong direction.

  129. 129
    Anon says:

    gay bitch

  130. 130
    Dobby says:

    In my day Court Directions always started one day after they were announced. Has it changed?

  131. 131
    Del Trotter says:

    If its fighter jets you want I can get you some cheap. Brand new state of the art German things.

    Just phone Athens.

  132. 132
    Dobby says:

    Not feckin’ UKIP!

  133. 133
    Club Clegg says:

    Wasn’t he in Carnation Street ?

  134. 134
    Dobby says:

    Vote UKIP and you just get a git.

  135. 135
    Dobby says:

    If you pay it to some dodgy off shore charity you might just get it all back and save tax too. Simples.

  136. 136
    Anonymous says:

    It’s exactly how the mafia operate. Set up an extortion racket, like protection for example, and call in any reduction in the fees, as favours.

  137. 137
    Dobby says:

    That dummy is better looking than any current MP (Warsi and Abbott come immediatly to mind)

  138. 138
    gramma says:

    Blair was an Anthonym

  139. 139
    AC1 Kenobi says:

    Yoda told me and my boyfriend to give up the dark side of the force, but we told him to fuck off.

  140. 140
    Some Geezer wot says "ya pays yer money" coz ya got no choice says:

    David Cameltoe’s father made boatloads of money in Maggie Thatcher’s day, through all kinds of exotic overseas investments, and shows what happened when you allowed Tories to be able to take money out of the British economy and put it beyond reach of the taxman and other possible creditors; way too sinful for words! Now, thirty years on, the debate is whether Tories should be allowed to take money out of the British economy and “invest” it in foreign lands with all sorts of dubious characters. The difference, of course, was that in Mr. Cameron Snr’s case, it was private individuals doing it, and there was a reasonable expectation that there would be some return on such investment; that’s what was so sinful about it. Don’t people realise that all their money is really only a loan from the State, and able to be called in at any time, and used for whatever purpose the State wants since it’s the State’s money? And if the Tories HAVE to pay into a slush fund for bailouts, it really is a good thing in the long run, isn’t it, because in Europe too, we’re all in this together? So sod off, all you little people, they know how to make use of your money better than you do! (And of course, they know how to make use of the State’s money to their own kleptocratic advantage.)

    What am I missing here, if anything?

  141. 141
    Carl Marks says:

    A politician with integrity. RIP.

  142. 142
    annette curton says:

    You are missing the fundamental point, too much Tory, they are all on the make and very well healed thank you very much suckers, just substitute the word Politician.

  143. 143
    AC1 says:

    Tat, You know you can come out if you want. No-one will judge you anymore. Your mother will probably not be as surprised as you think she will be.

  144. 144
    AC1 says:

    LikeI said below, just tell your mum about your homo-sexuality. I’m sure it won’t be a big shock to her, she’s used to dealing with a son with mentalism so I’m sure she’ll easily deal with your lack of interest in female relationships.

  145. 145
    Charities are sometimes not very socially useful says:

    charities take money and divert money from the general public kitty to their specific causes. There is little accountability

  146. 146
    Club Clegg says:

    The State’s money ? Surely you mean the bankers’ money – they were the ones who dreamt up the whole Ponsi scheme in the first place.

  147. 147
    Political Lightweight says:

    She’ll show up the other candidates by not telling lies

  148. 148
    Ed Balls does support a cap on donations says:

  149. 149
    Anonymous says:

    They just fold the towels.

  150. 150
    Revd. Phoney £rd Way B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:

    Hi!

    I’m very RICH !!!

    Am I bovvard?

  151. 151
    smoggie says:

    No, let the daft twat remain sick and cwippled.

  152. 152
    smoggie says:

    UKIP – the Backdoor Nazis.

  153. 153
    annette curton says:

    And nobody has been arrested for the biggest fraud in history.

  154. 154
    M says:

    They would prefer to be elected to the IMF
    Than a national parliament & all that accountability

  155. 155
    Flatus Veteranus says:

    I quite agree Abdel. There is much hypocrisy about rich people not giving because the government taxes their donations.

    If they were that upset about it, they could just reduce their gifts by the amount of tax and tell the government what bastards they are. However, if they do that, they will not get invited to dinners with ministers or get knighthoods for services to making themselves enormously wealthy. Whilst I have nothing against them personally, I cannot understand what ‘services’ have been delivered by Mick Jagger, Elton John and other musical mediocrities. It seems to me that most of these people are driven to make themselves wealthy and famous. As for Fred the Shred’s ‘services to banking’, he alone has convinced me never to call anybody Sir This or Lord that. They can take their place in the queue as far as I am concerned.

    On the other hand, there are an awful lot of ‘charity workers’ who earn enormous salaries in the charity industry.

    On somebody elses other hand, taxation is fundamentally taking money with threats – or robbery as it used to be known when we had a police force and a justice system.

  156. 156
    I woner who it was? says:

  157. 157
    Tony Eden from Eton says:

    Comparing him with the present intake just shows how far standards have fallen.

    RIP.

  158. 158

    Ken is tucking into a nice plate of hypercholesterolemia in that Twatpic.

  159. 159
    this picture? says:

  160. 160
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    But shouldn’t they do something to the dummy like arrest her too.

    Otherwise if the paperwork is there she is still a candidate.

    I mean a voter should be able to turn up and ask for her name to be on the ballot paper.

    Its the law I tell you.

  161. 161
    Flatus Veteranus says:

    This is, as usual, a simple situation stoked up by lefty media types to try to cause political embarassment.

    The real reason for the ‘massive U turn’ (changing from catapult launch / hookwire landing) aeroplanes to ‘jump jets’ is that the JSF with the hook doesn’t work – major design fuckup! So, it would cost another fortune to redesign the hooky version but a lot cheaper to have the hovering version. Simple arithemetic.

    However, since the media and left wing politics are dominated by mincing, coke sniffing, pseudo intellectual, moral masturbating, over educated turd burglars who think it sophisticated to be unable to balance a cheque book, we have to skip over daft stories in the press to get to what matters. Who won the footy and how big are his girlfriends norks?

  162. 162
    Anonymous says:

    No sausage or bacon, looks like Ken has gone kosher. Anything for a vote, the shameless get.

  163. 163

    The very one. If current lipid hypothesis is valid, abnormal cholesterol levels, higher concentrations of LDL and lower concentrations of functional HDL are strongly associated with cardiovascular disease because these promote atherosclerosis or atheroma development in the arteries. It leads to myocardial infarction heart attack, stroke, and peripheral vascular disease.

    Not many orgasms left for Ken’s doctor during examination time, I would think, although the Hippocratic Oath expressly forbids that. Ken’s doctor sounds as genuine as his accountant.

  164. 164
    AC1 says:

    who, what, where?
    my mummy calls me,
    i sit on the throne of pain,
    innit?

  165. 165
  166. 166
    Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon. says:

    You are clearly not the real Theresa May as she is one day in front of everyone else not behind. She is probably sitting in a church right now wondering where everyone else is.

  167. 167
    Ah! Monika says:

    Keep taking the Crestor.

    Non-HDL Cholesterol Seems a Better Target Than LDL to Gauge Statin Therapy

    LDL cholesterol levels may not be the best target for statin therapy, according to a JAMA meta-analysis.

    Non-HDL cholesterol is your total cholesterol minus your HDL “good cholesterol.” Here’s the formula: Non-HDL Cholesterol = Total Cholesterol – HDL Cholesterol. So if your total cholesterol is 190 and your HDL cholesterol is 40, your non-HDL cholesterol is 150

  168. 168
    Ah! Monika says:

    Hippocratic Oath dying out in medical schools.
    Explains why so many patients are harmed.

  169. 169
    Ah! Monika says:

    Cameron family fortune made in tax havens….The Guardian FFS.

  170. 170
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    f f f f fer fer fucks sake how a b b b ber beout st st stutttt ter ing sh sh sh shaddow ch ch ch ch chancellors ?

  171. 171
    Another Engineer says:

    BAE аrе tаkіng thе pіss оn whаt thеy wаnt tо chаrgе fоr cаtаpults, bеcаusе thеy dоn’t wаnt thеm іnstаllеd. It wоuld mеаn thаt wе cоuld usе а whоlе rаngе оf usеful аіrcrаft оff thе cаrrіеrs rаthеr thаn thе pоіntlеss (аnd еxcеptіоnаlly dіffіcult tо mаіntаіn) STVOL JSF. Thе gоvеrnmеnt shоuld tеll thеm tо dо іt fоr а sеnsіblе prіcе (еvеn thе Amеrіcаns thіnk іt іs а stupіd prіcе аnd hаvе tоld thе UK gоvеrnmеnt thаt іt cоsts аbоut 25% оf whаt BAE аrе quоtіng) оr еlsе thеy wіll rеvіеw аny futurе cоntrаcts.

    Thіs rеаlly іs а vеry vеry crаp dеcіsіоn.

    If yоu аrе gоіng tо hаvе а full sіzе cаrrіеr, thеn аt lеаst usе іt fоr prоpеr аіrcrаft.

  172. 172
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Even every 5 years it’s nice to slot one in the box !

  173. 173
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    TAT would love to go ten rounds “In The Ring” with that !

  174. 174
    Reichschancellors Merkel says:

    Guten Tag, Guten Tag.

    Vielen Dank für all die zehn billion euros.

    Sie haben unsere banken gerettet

  175. 175
    annette curton says:

    The Guardian and tax havens go together like a horse and cart, but lets not the facts get in the way of a good story.

  176. 176
    ffs! says:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/olympics/news/9218109/London-2012-Olympics-torch-relay-police-officers-to-get-counselling.html

    The Metropolitan Police admitted the group would receive support from “Occupational health specialists” before and after the 70-day relay.

    Fucking money wasting bastard FFS. Flour and eggs at the ready.

  177. 177
    HARD of HEARING says:

    Sounds like these protesters in Bahrain are never satisfied !
    They just said on the news that
    The grand prix will go ahead despite increased pensions
    .

  178. 178
    smoggie says:

    The money isn’t being given; it is a loan not a gift. Furthermore, that loan will be earning interest.

    It’s not like he’s giving our gold reserves away.

  179. 179
    Ah! Monika says:

    And The Councellors will need councelling and the councellors counsellors will need…………….ad infinitum

  180. 180
    Torchbearer says:

    There’re 8000 of us and we will need councelling …………..ad infinitum

  181. 181
    Torchbearer says:

    Plus 30 years on benefits for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

  182. 182
    annette curton says:

    70 day relay, has somebody dropped a baton?.

  183. 183
    George "spank me now" Osborne says:

    I pretend not to hear when people tell me they’re fucked off with me spunking their money away in the direction of Europe.

  184. 184
    anonymousse says:

    I need counselling after hearing fuckwit Louise Osborne is spending 10 billion.

  185. 185
    UKIP is now the only sane party in the UK says:

  186. 186
    Club Clegg says:

    Stuffed it up Millipede’s arse, more like :

    http://order-order.com/2012/04/20/mirror-4-miliband/

  187. 187
    Club Clegg says:

    (reply to 169)

  188. 188
    Dave "Rustbucket" Camermong says:

    My pleasure Empress.

    Watt! Watt! Toodle Pip.

  189. 189
    handypara says:

    Joining just in time for the EU to bail them out after the €200 billion devastation to be caused by the imminent North Anatolian Fault shift sending Istanbul into the Bosporus, no doubt.

  190. 190
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    They should have yelled back “If Georgie Osbrown is going to give it to the IMF to bail out the Euro, why should we pay them”

  191. 191
    Ken Livingstone says:

    At least I am not contributing to bailing out the Euro zone.

  192. 192
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    It was probably Ethel the tea lady filling in.

    What do i know about swing-wing or VTOL?

    One lump or two deary?

  193. 193
    Cameron's Vichy Conservatives says:

    they mostly come at night… mostly…

  194. 194
    The Public says:

    You are very right. Have you ever thought of going into politics?

  195. 195
    A Greasy Spoon for a Greasy Guy says:

    I see Ken has given up on his bid for power and has turned to comfort food. Seen eating non-kosher, non-halal full English whores breakfast

  196. 196
    Adolf says:

    lol, you on drugs again?

  197. 197
    AceSeeOne says:

    i’m fucked

  198. 198

    Have you noticed Frankie that, whereas homosexuals can occur in any party, Labour followers are completely obsessed with their own or other people’s bottoms?

    I don’t know whether homosexuality can be cured but I am much more convinced that the Labour political condition is an illness. What is more, it is probably beyond treatment.

  199. 199
    groupie says:

    Anyone know which social venue will be graced by the presence of fun-loving Theresa May this evening (assuming her calendar has been fixed)?

  200. 200
    Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

    All politicians have skeletons in their cupboards and Dave and Gideon are no exception, and if anyone should know, I should. Boaz.

  201. 201
    Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

    He isn’t slipping her one, is he, for god’s sake?

  202. 202
    Anonymous says:

    Gorgeous may be many things but Aaronovitch is definitely a cυnt.

  203. 203
    BBC Controller says:

    We’re still working on the ray-cyst police angle.

    It’s important to get these things right, you know

  204. 204
    Anonymous says:

    But you’d have to speak German! – Too horrid.

  205. 205
    Abdul Handycock says:

    This is racist cant from a right wing rag and not true. I have many Isl@mic constituents and they assure me that this sort of behaviour could not possibly happen, and I believe them because they all vote for me, and without their vote I would be working in KFC. Boaz.

  206. 206
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    I thought we were still using the Julian not the Gregorian calender so there.

    ner ner ner ner nerrr ;-)

  207. 207
    Anonymous says:

    no

    But obviously her Mayness could not possibly have had any way of knowing that.

  208. 208
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    When Camermong told Carswell to get a sense of humor, Carswell should have said “I will Primeminister, just as soon as you grow a spine” :-)

  209. 209
    philanthropist says:

    Paying out of your own money is for poor people.

  210. 210
    Teresa (I 'm looking old and knackered these days) says:

    What’s wrong with me going to Jonathan Shalit’s 50th Birthday Party?

    Who is he anyway?

    Grandson of the Gestesner “printing” process. Ed

  211. 211
    Georgie Osbrown says:

    I’m giving the IMF another £10 billion pounds of your money, because as Liam Byrne said “There’s no money left”.

    Wibble.

  212. 212

    Patients are dying faster than the oath.

  213. 213
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    *calendar

  214. 214
    annette curton says:

    A lot of dodgy I.O.U’s flying around everywhere, would you buy a used car from this person?.

  215. 215
    B£iar says:

    And now a rich bugger…thank you all for paying me so handsomely.

  216. 216
    ! says:

    Carswell is all talk

  217. 217
    Rooney says:

    In my day, Ministers of the Crown resigned if they cocked up. Now they seem to target some poor git and sack them instead.

  218. 218
    Durr... says:

    Doesn’t she (May) go to the Mosque then? I bet it’s because she thinks someone will nick her shoes.

  219. 219
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Maybe homosexuality and Labour party membership
    are the same ailment ?
    I mean they certainly had plenty of them under Blair LoL !

  220. 220
    labourunionsbbc we are one says:

    That’s nothing, the labour party have a puppet as leader.

  221. 221
    the beast of kfc says:

    “Call me louise” Osborne has jut payed £10 Billion for this Euro filth

  222. 222
    Anonymous says:

    “..well heeled…” shurely. Healed only if it is all better now.

  223. 223
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Exactly, BAE should be told to do it for the same price or they will NEVER be allowed to tender for a defence contract again.

  224. 224
    Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Yes and where is Gideon getting the money from? He’s borrowing it.

  225. 225
    lunar says:

    Shirley Colander- Slip through the holes?

  226. 226
    eat your greens says:

    For that amount of money, one could have dammed the Bristol Channel. Smothered it with wind turbines to provide a double renewable source of energy without the eyesore complaints from residents and ahighway link from Southwest into Wales.
    Unfortunately the presence of a few t*ts and water wading birds scuppered the project.

  227. 227

    You mean his supporters were all behind him?

  228. 228

    OK Beast.

    Here is a choice:

    A. George Osborne stops paying all this money to the IMF or
    B. You are given a month of weeknights to be spent with that little French minx (naturally you would need Saturday and Sunday evenings off to rest.)

    You may only choose one. How choose you?

  229. 229
    Methuselah says:

    Cinquential mandates are underated.

  230. 230
    Kebab time says:

    What a Jeremy C-unt

  231. 231
    København says:

    ОK Bеаst.

    Hеrе іs а chоіcе:

    А. Gеоrgе Оsbоrnе stоps pаyіng аll thіs mоnеy tо thе ІMF оr
    B. Yоu аrе gіvеn а mоnth оf wееknіghts tо bе spеnt wіth thаt lіttlе Frеnch mіnx (nаturаlly yоu wоuld nееd Sаturdаy аnd Sundаy еvеnіngs оff tо rеst.)

    Yоu mаy оnly chооsе оnе. Hоw chооsе yоu?

    *Tіrеsоmе mоdbоt strіkеs*

  232. 232
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    Great mind picture.

  233. 233
  234. 234
    top boy says:

    Sc should have a tonsillectomy performed through his back passage; would do him the world of good.

  235. 235
    a non says:

    Their immigration policy is also geered towards colonising .

  236. 236
    Kebab time says:

    Go here top post : http://kebabtime.blogspot.com/

  237. 237
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    Should it be Mme. La Farage

  238. 238

    The weather’s nice this time of year
    I think I’ll try a blog
    Try my luck on Guido Fawkes, but
    M0db0t sent it down the bog.

  239. 239
    Hugh Gahoudi says:

    Ah! I spy an Onanist,eh Dooby?

  240. 240
    jellied says:

    Well eeled- Slide out via small spaces

  241. 241
    Gone in the amount of time it takes to waste £10Billion says:

    I wouldn’t even steal a used car from him

  242. 242
    Whores breakfast says:

    He hid the sausage, but there is definitely a lot of pork in that picture

  243. 243
    Democracy Has Its Limits says:

    LibLabCon pull out of BBC London mayoral debate because other candidates were going to participate:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17790972

  244. 244
    CLINT Cameron says:

    Lord Ashley has died

    David Cameron described Lord Ashley as a “tireless” campaigner for disabled people who had a huge impact not just through his charity work, and legislation, but also in changing attitudes.

    The prime minister said: “It takes characters like Jack, with his extraordinary tenacity, to push for that kind of positive change.

    David Cameron’s government is killing disabled people so in what way have attitudes changed????

  245. 245
    not a machine says:

    Ed thinks bying leccy in in bulk is a brilliant idea ?………… over to Ed Davy then for rebuttle ………. on how it wont work

  246. 246
    annette curton says:

    So the Government of the day has decided to give away unlimited amounts of cash which they don’t have in the first place and without resort to Parliament, £40 billion now to IMF, what a disgraceful set of rogues, thieves and vagabonds. How much do I owe now as a citizen?, is it £150,000 per head!.

  247. 247
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Is it all pretend money? When we had the financial crash where did all the money go? Did the money ever exist?
    We could ask Liam Byrne, Ed Balls, Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling. Maybe they know. Maybe Mervin King knows.
    Perhaps there is a huge pile of money somewhere.

  248. 248
    Club Clegg says:

    Perhaps Ed has a big jar in his shed to store it in.

  249. 249
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Don’t worry the “money” doesn’t actually exist, and besides there is no money left, well according to Liam Byrne. So if there is no money left we can’t give the IMF any. So if the IMF believe that Osborne is giving them another £10 billion, boy are they stupid.

  250. 250
    South of the M4 says:

    Milli E obviously knows zip about the electricity market. I guess he thinks he can rent a warehouse somewhere to stuff it all in. To get the best value he could only store it there at peak times moving it to a cheaper warehouse at night.

  251. 251
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Ed Miliband is no bright spark.

  252. 252
    ffs! says:

    What utter Hunt’s. Who the fuck do they think they are? Get around the table and debate stuff like grown ups. What are they afraid of? They can’t say it is a principled stand as they have no principals. Arseholes.

    They really haven’t a fucking clue.

    Bastards the lot of them.

  253. 253
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Presumably you can stockpile coal,oil & gas in large quantities when the market price is cheap and draw on those stockpiles when the market price is expensive.

    Just saying like :-)

  254. 254
    annette curton says:

    I get your drift, all pretend money in a pretend world, except when Joe Blogs finds out the cost of his pint of milk has gone up to £3.50.

  255. 255
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Presumably you can stockpile coal,oil & gas in large quantities when the market pri-ce is cheap and draw on those stockpiles when the market pri-ce is expensive.

    Just saying like :-)

  256. 256
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Where are you going to stockpile oil. The current storage facilities are very limited.

  257. 257
    George "Louise" Osborne says:

    You’re right, it will be £20 billion instead.

  258. 258
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Maybe Joe could get someone to buy the pint for him, a bit like MP’s do.

  259. 259
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    The banks and all the money the government is printing are just the products of a deranged imagination.

    Here’s Douglas Adams take on inflation :

  260. 260
    smoggie says:

    Yeh from the IMF. Nice deal, eh?

  261. 261
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Build more underground capacity, close to the refineries.

    It’s not rocket science FFS.

  262. 262
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    i notice also that while Madame Lagrande has been doing the rounds both the Yanks and Chinese have kept their hands firmly in their pockets.

    Do I need to say anymore?

  263. 263
    I don't need no doctor says:

    Yes please, it’s very interesting what you write.

  264. 264
    annette curton says:

    42 Billion?, the answer to life the universe and everything.

  265. 265
    Medical Science says:

    Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.

  266. 266
    Anonymous says:

    Ed is about as bright as the new low energy bulbs that have been foisted on us.

  267. 267
    annette curton says:

    DON’T PANIC!.

  268. 268
    Dave "Windy Miller Rustbucket" Camermong says:

    Can i interest you in a used windmill or solar panel.

    Watt! Watt! Toodle Pip.

  269. 269
    Sir William Waad says:

    There’s always plenty of money for Abroad, isn’t there?

  270. 270
    annette curton says:

    How much tax payers money do they generate?.

  271. 271
    Gonk says:

    Both hate Britain and both are feminine flanges.

  272. 272
    Ctesibius says:

    CLINT I am glad you have raised this terrible issue. I live near one of the camps. Every night I see Conservative Party vans driving in with the poor disabled people chained in them screaming to us for help. To no avail. Next morning their prosthetic limbs, wheelchairs, etc. are there for all to see, discarded in the canal. How can this go on? This terrible campaign of murder and torture is so frightening that your sang froid in describing it is truly ‘English’.

  273. 273
    Joss Sayin says:

    Not as much hot air as Westminster does.

  274. 274
    annette curton says:

    Plenty of money for a broad as well.

  275. 275
    Tuscan Tony says:

    Spot on SC.

  276. 276
    I don't need no doctor says:

    And who is going to pay FFS?

  277. 277

    Hi Beast

    What do you think of this site?

  278. 278

    Post hoc, ergo propter croak.

  279. 279

    Do you like Alizée?

    May have got the wrong impression…

  280. 280
    Crip says:

    c-u-n-t

  281. 281
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    Austerity? – what austerity? – we’ve given the MILF £10 billion!!!

  282. 282
    the ghost of Mary Whitehouse says:

    You too!

  283. 283
    A two-faced, lying, cheating, double-crossing, cowardly, sanctimonious, arrogant, wastrel and ignora says:

    Nothing is my fault you understand!

  284. 284
    Some Geezer wot isn't misrepresenting what the situation is says:

    Well, of course, that was the point in my sarcastic rant. Money doesn’t mean anything when it’s just figures on a computer screen that can be invented out of thin air, having only the promise of repayment and the right to repossess whatever was bought with that money for default of that promise. It means something to YOU when you are using actual dosh you earn to pay off the loan, and when your house or car is repossessed if you don’t. The “State’s money” of which I spoke is financing by bankers as against receipts of tax revenue, which revenue is raised from jokers out there who can’t utilise the tax breaks the State’s favourites get. Last I checked, stone doesn’t bleed, and there’s a limit to just how much you can stick the people up for before they are so disincentivised that they do not produce. There’s too many people out there for the Government to play “Reg and Ron” and break our legs for non-payment, so they have to “carry” us whilst we pay off that which they CAN get out of us. Of course, just as with the shylocks, at that rate you never get out from under. If it were you or I in business, administration might be a possibility. When that happens, you or I find our access to credit greatly reduced if not eliminated altogether. We are not allowed to go on spending as if there were no tomorrow– tomorrow has come, and it’s today, and the spending is cut to the bare bone. But somehow, this never seems to happen with the Government and the bankers– they have the legal monopoly on the use of force and fraud and thus the laws they use against us somehow don’t apply to them. The American colonists revolted because taxation without representation is tyranny. Representation without taxation, i.e. the representatives working out which sucker pays for someone else’s tax-cost-free indulgences on the taxpayer’s shilling, is also tyranny. At the very least it is MISrepresentation, if you will.

  285. 285
    This be the question says:

    Has There is a May ever had a bloody good seeing to?

    If not . . . . .

    Could explain a lot!!

  286. 286
    Guardian reader, foaming at the mouth says:

    I think we need to regulate and abolish the Murdoch papers because they hack private phone calls of drug taking celebrities and also support a right-wing agenda.

    Now give me five minutes while I read the juicy details of the David Cameron’s late father’s will in the Guardian.

  287. 287
    blowingWhistles says:

    It is beyond time that so many of you woke up to the EUcommiemarxist ‘project’ – There are going to be more EU Flag Burnings … “your either with us (the good little people in the majority) or your ‘agin us – in your ‘political bubbles’ of deception, duplicity and depravity.

  288. 288
    Ian Botham's conscience says:

    No the daily Smoke ‘n Mirror did not attempt to plant attempt drugs on me and I didn’t take a pay off for not catching them at it either.

  289. 289
    Nadine Dorries, from her padded cell says:

    Ker-chinnnggggg!

  290. 290
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    She was sexier in Graines de Star. Bit of a scrubber now, IMHO.

  291. 291
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Why should I? Am I interested in kebabs? Like fuck I am!

  292. 292
    blowingWhistles says:

    Simples …. Rupert and his henchmen / Lieutenants / Scheusters having such powerful access [1000’s of journos worldwide with money to burn and under ‘legal instruction’ {Trade rules}] probably have the photos – they probably have every senior judge ‘bagged up’ similarly … It would explain why the Whigs darent truly attack The Murdoch Omerta Mafia.

    Leveson – its just another “Stage managed ACT” of decieving the masses – but

    “……. you can’t fool all of the people, for all of the time” – Rupee & Leveson.

    These things take time = C’est chose prennant du temps

  293. 293
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Never leave the lightswitch on with no bulb in the socket — the leccy will leak away and cost you £££s.

  294. 294
    Nad is Mad with Dave says:

  295. 295
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Do we want to be joined to Wales? Why don’t we unzip it along the border and sell it to the Chinese?

  296. 296
    A Life long Tory Voter says:

    This government has to be the most corrupt ever. DO NOT TRUST THE FUCKERS.

  297. 297
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    I DO NOT want to hear about Ken hiding his sausage, thank you very much.

  298. 298
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    +1

    He was a good bloke.

  299. 299
    A man with a van says:

    Actually they are not the most corrupt, that record belongs to Blair.

    This one is just useless.

  300. 300
    A Long life Tory voter says:

    This government is useless.
    I am thinking of voting for Labour or UKIP

  301. 301
    A Long life Milk carton says:

    I am thinking of changing to full cream or at the least half fat .

  302. 302

    Asti.

    Don’t quite know how to put this best but here goes:

    I would not climb over her to get to you.

    SC

  303. 303
    Britain - a now ruined country. says:

    Not a word on the bbc about the above crime (rape and imprisonment of girls to celebrate Eid) – How surprising – NOT.

  304. 304
    Tony's conscience says:

    I have always been my own man, and I refute any allegations that the press and media did not make about me being done for importuning in my younger days and that since it didn’t happen I have not been a ‘controlled’ nutter in anyones pocket and that all them corporations are just paying / giving me backhanders for my honesty, morality and narcissistic tendencies Whooa hey guys – I’m just a straight kinda guy…

    I / we ‘don’t do God’ – we do however do ‘do deals’ with Gods bankers – suckers.

  305. 305
    A Plague on this whole generation of Parliamentary Schemers and Whores says:

    Who cares if you mutiny or not. You and your fellow Mps have failed the British people. It is too late, the damage is done: our children and thier children have been enslaved by your borrowing.

  306. 306
    Green Tories should turn blue says:

    If you and the rest of the treacherous MPs dangle by your necks in the wind, how much energy will be saved over a twenty year period?

  307. 307
    Mad Mel flip lips says:

    Are Aaronovitch and Johan Kari joined at the hip or just fat buddie commie creeps? Or are they one and the meme brothers in arms?

  308. 308
    lorry halfpenny says:

    Have you noticed the advent of a section of comments that suggest you alter your allegiance to another party?
    Dave and George and many other Tories are crap at the moment I would agree but perhaps incorrectly I put this down to them having their hands partly tied by the LibDems. You are stuck with the relationship unfortunately for the full 5 year term which suggests anything of importance will become watered down.
    Like the London mayoral elections there is only one creditable candidate – The buffoon Boris who does his best to play the fool, covering up his talents, laying himself open to 2nd rate candidates attempting to don the mantle of knight to the rescue.
    With the Socialists in dissaray it is sad there is no true opposition to h@rry and stimulate the government of the day and Brussels interference or threats by USA credit rating organisations working for their own country’s propaganda organisations all muddy the water. Add the inevitable Union entrance to threaten and disrupt the day to day working of various state services and even more hardship will emerge to add to many’s present depression.

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!

    ~Kipling

    Have a great day

  309. 309
    INTERESTed party says:

    Look Britain paid off its last war loans about 5 years ago – decades after the initial loans and at competitive rates … then! We’ve had to get up some other ruse to keep you [well your political CUNextTues’] people paying thru ‘your’ noses …. hence the £10 Billion ….

    don’t you lot ‘get it’ – it couldn’t be more in yer faces you thickos.

  310. 310
    Dìane Àbbott says:

  311. 311
    M*dbot's going mad again says:

    I think you’re slightly over-complicating the issue.

    Take a step back, and let’s keep things simple:

    David Cameron is a tw@t, and he hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing.

  312. 312
    Sabina Kim Nile (The MC) says:

    How come East Germans have more access to our politicians than us natives? Is it because they’ve sucked up to the past and present Governments – promising to sell on that climate change schit?

  313. 313
    Labour can lick my rectum says:

    Labour and UKIP are polar opposites, it’s impossible for someone to narrow their choices down to those two. Either you’re having a laugh or you’re one disc short of a special edition dvd.

  314. 314

    It’s Earth Day…

    Who makes up all this bollocks?

  315. 315
    not a machine says:

    shoosh dont tell the greens the powerstaions dont go off , its just the lights , carry on pulluting on this wheeze .

  316. 316
    Tachybaptus says:

    About 15 years ago there was a National No Constipation Day (yes, really). But they never managed to have another; somehow the movement got stuck. A shame, as it should have been an anal event.

  317. 317
    Madman Across the Water says:

    first Osborne now Lansley

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/apr/22/andrew-lansley-pay-nhs-staff

    They are all fucking mad

    Back to the Dark Ages

  318. 318
    smoggie says:

    Not all of them are killed. Those who agree to work are spared. I mean, just because you’re in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t sweep the roads like anyone else.

  319. 319

    I wanted to get back to you about this but found that you had logged off…

  320. 320
    A mere cat @ compare the eejits.com says:

    Ed’s spotted a BOGOF offer on windmills. His plan is to use the electricity to make one blow to make the other produce electricity to make the first one blow …..
    so the electricity gets stored in a kind of perpetual motion machine. Simple.

  321. 321
    A mere cat @ compare the eejits.com says:

    You mean put them back into the ground where they came from in the first place ?

  322. 322
    Cashier Cameron says:

    I think you’re over-simplifying things.
    Dave is an arrogant twat and, unfortunately, he does have a clue what he’s doing, traitor that he is.

  323. 323
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    Why is it every time I see a Green Person they are wearing expensive high quality oil consuming spectacles.

    Surely they should be wearing something made of recycled cardboard or better still reusing NHS glasses from th 60’s.

    They are very strange people.

  324. 324
    David Camewrong says:

    One’s got to keep the poor poor, don’tcha know.
    Toodle pip.

  325. 325
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Mon cher chat, tu es trompé!

  326. 326
    Perry Stalsis says:

    George the Modbot tends to suffer from constipation.

  327. 327
    Chilcott says:

    And Green women are even worse.

    Do you know half of them are on the Pill and they keep going to the toilet and urinating.

    The estrogen gets mixed with the water and ends up in the rivers making all our fish impotent.

    They are so anti social it is not true.

  328. 328
    smoggie says:

    Never off ‘em. Touched a nazi nerve there I see. hehe

  329. 329
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    When I was working in my takeaway this morning I started thinking about George Osborne.

    Yesterday he started saying that he had not given away 10 billion pounds of taxpayers money. He said there would be no call whatsoever on the tax payer because he was taking the money from national reserves which apparently have nothing to do with the taxpayer.

    That got me thinking . If someone had given this money to the Banks three years ago the financial crisis would have cost us nothing. There would be no need for any of this austerity nonsense and a million people wouls still be receiving a wage in the state sector . There would have been no riots or defacing of the cenotaph and five people who are dead today would still be alive. Mr Cameron could even have finished his holiday in Tuscany.

    All it needed was a bit more thought from those who are supposed to be working so hard for us all.

  330. 330
    The Labour Parteh says:

    The Tory scum cannot “keep” the poor poor. They have to create the poor. Labour abolished poorness during our 13 glorious years in power. There were no poor people here until the evil Tory-led government created poverty in the second half of 2010.

  331. 331
    Labour says:

    The Tory scum cannot “keep” the poor poor. They have to create the poor. Labour abolished poorness during our 13 glorious years in power. There were no poor people here until the evil Tory-led government created poverty in the second half of 2010.

  332. 332
    Jane Birkin from Paris says:

    The men are even worse!

    Have you ever tried to get one of those jolly green giants to put on a condom?

    They spend 30 minutes talking about saving the planet and end up thinking they have performed oral sex on you.

    They are a complete waste of space.

  333. 333
    Mr Helpful says:

    An excellent bit of reasoning, but with one teensy flaw.

    It’s bollocks.

    Osborne leant £10billion to the IMF. Labour’s bank bailout cost ~ £77billion. I’m not a professor of mathematics, but I believe I’m right in saying that 77 billion is more than 10 billion. Quite a lot more. More than we’ve got in foreign currency reserves.

    Also, it’s slightly contentious to say that the hundreds of moron chavs who went looting did so because of Labour bailing-out the banks to the tune of £77billion. They did so because they’re lawless chavs. There was some excuse about it being a reaction to police shooting a worthless criminal.

    It’s also suggested that the looting was a good thing. Ed Militwit seemed to approve of it.

  334. 334
    Gonk says:

    Scintilla of sense in your statement as a vote for Labour would hasten the impending catastrophe and at least we could then somehow resurrect from the ashes.
    The liar and fraud Cameron just delays the whole process. UKIP maybe, just maybe.
    Best suggestion by far I’ve seen is draw a giant penis on your voting slip.

  335. 335
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    Funny, i thought it was Sun Day preceded by Saturn Day and followed by Moon Day.

    Were theses clowns using Teresa May’s calendar :-)

  336. 336
    Ctesibius says:

    Hi CLINT Cameron,

    Smoggie raised an interesting point. Round here the Conservatives are killing all disabled people on sight in special camps. Yet in other areas they seem to be allowing them to live for a while…

    How strange this is.

    Would you mind giving us a bit more detail on Conservative policies towards the disabled? It’s so different than under the saintly Gordon Brown, when I recall anyone disabled appearing in the streets had literally millions of pounds pushed into the pockets. And that made them better.

  337. 337
    a Long life tory voter says:

    Lclmr.
    Too long being a middle of the road voter I fancy I need a little excitement in my life instead of the same old, same old. Consequently I am hovering between the 2 political extremes, neither of which has a snowballs chance in Hades of achieving anything conclusive at this moment in time.
    Put it down to a Conservative menopause.
    I have put the blue lion tamers hat away, ordered white socks to go with red open toed sandals and am practising spe@king with a nasal blockage to attend westham footie matches to blend in with the Socialist riff-raff. UKIP outings are proving more complicated but at least a refusal to touch anything foreign [with the exception of Babette behind the counter] is doing wonders for my excess weight. Time will tell .

  338. 338
    Cashier Cameron says:

    I think you’re over-simplifying the issue.
    Dave is an arrogant twat, and, unfortunately, he knows full well what he’s doing.

  339. 339

    Sir Aston Martin

    How can I be wrong?

    1. I don’t sleep with men.
    2. At my age, you have to take your pleasures when you can and
    3. If I did climb over her to get to you, I would probably find that your big end had gone and your all-synchromesh had failed.

  340. 340

    O.K. B.e.a.s.t.

    H.e.r.e i.s a c.h.o.i.c.e:

    1. G.e.o.r.g.e O.s.b.o.r.n.e s.t.o.p.s p.a.y.i.n.g a.l.l t.h.i.s m.o.n.e.y t.o t.h.e I.M.F o.r
    2. Y.o.u a.r.e g.i.v.e.n a m.o.n.t.h o.f w.e.e.k.n.i.g.h.t.s t.o b.e s.p.e.n.t w.i.t.h t.h.a.t l.i.t.t.l.e F.r.e.n.c.h m.i.n.x (n.a.t.u.r.a.l.l.y y.o.u w.o.u.l.d n.e.e.d S.a.t.u.r.d.a.y a.n.d S.u.n.d.a.y e.v.e.n.i.n.g.s o.f.f t.o r.e.s.t.)

    Y.o.u m.a.y o.n.l.y c.h.o.o.s.e o.n.e. H.o.w c.h.o.o.s.e y.o.u?

  341. 341

    Fuck me. I’ve finally done it!

    This m_o_d_b_o_t is g_e_t_t_i_n_g to be a r_i_g_h_t c_u_n_t.

    Doesn’t stop the bad ones though, have you noticed?

  342. 342
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Trompé in the sense “deluded” — for I would be keeping her very busy and you wouldn’t get a look — or anything else — in :-)

  343. 343

    If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s male boasting.

    (Whilst you have been wishing, I had her four years ago…)

  344. 344
    Sir Aston Martin says:

    Touché — mais trompé maintenant!

  345. 345


Seen Elsewhere

UKIP on 23% With Survation | Mirror
UKIP Could Deal With Dave | Douglas Carswell
Tories Would Lower Benefit Cap | Telegraph
Bashir Twitter Meltdown | Mirror
Bashir is a Wrong’un | Norman Tebbit
Natalie Bennett Says it Should Not be a Crime to Belong to ISIS | Indy
LibDems Fifth in London | Standard
45 Mirror Group Stories Linked to Phone-Hacking | Press Gazette
Dave’s Diet | Speccie
Pink’O’Flynn | HuffPo
Trojan Horse Destroying British Values | Nick Wood


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