April 21st, 2012

Saturday Seven Up

Last week saw 100,187 visitors making 291,943 visits to view 453,319 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido or behind…


  1. 1
    Ed Mili Bandaid says:

    A vote for Ken is a vote for me!


    • 24
      Taxpayer says:

      Don’t vote. It is meaningless. No politician tells the truth.


      • 40
        Stand up top up cock up Dave says:

        Fawkes, I want to make absolutely clear, on the record to the bedwetters here, that I abhor those khunts who seek to avoid paying tax in the UK by setting up schemes in places like Panama, Geneva and Jersey. In fact, if I was ever to do such a thing, or be the beneficiary of such I thing, I swear here and now I would be so surprised and outraged I would go so far as to bang a woman!


        • 41
          Jenson Button B.V. Brit hero and all round patriot! says:

          The Dutch Antilles doesn’t count though, right?


          • V1le Labour ruined my Country says:

            Has everyone missed the disgusting spectacle of our supposed Leaders waiting for eeeuuu permission to send the scumbag terrorist home to Jordan. It’s time to Nuke Brussels and Strasbourg.


          • AC1 says:

            It’s the only way to be sure.


          • going dutch says:

            Thanks for the tip, I’ve taken out a loan from Wonga.com, and I’ll invest that.


          • Cameron's Vichy Conservatives says:

            they mostly come at night… mostly…


          • blowingWhistles says:

            It is beyond time that so many of you woke up to the EUcommiemarxist ‘project’ – There are going to be more EU Flag Burnings … “your either with us (the good little people in the majority) or your ‘agin us – in your ‘political bubbles’ of deception, duplicity and depravity.


      • 286
        Guardian reader, foaming at the mouth says:

        I think we need to regulate and abolish the Murdoch papers because they hack private phone calls of drug taking celebrities and also support a right-wing agenda.

        Now give me five minutes while I read the juicy details of the David Cameron’s late father’s will in the Guardian.


        • 288
          Ian Botham's conscience says:

          No the daily Smoke ‘n Mirror did not attempt to plant attempt drugs on me and I didn’t take a pay off for not catching them at it either.


    • 85
      Durr... says:

      So on that logic and vote for Boris is a vote for Dave…..Durr! London, you deserve far better!


      • 88
        Dobby says:

        And so do we! (living – now just existing- in the UK). Still £10Billion off to the bankers. Oh Goody!


    • 108
      AC1 says:

      Must be filed on the BBC site under beware of the leopard…

      UK counterterrorism police detain 3 at Heathrow



      • 203
        BBC Controller says:

        We’re still working on the ray-cyst police angle.

        It’s important to get these things right, you know


  2. 2
    Tom Watson says:

    The stress of the hacking inquiry caused me to spend 9 hours playing video games while eating a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and popping my zits for my own amusement.


  3. 3
    £10 billion down the drain says:

    Does the EU have incriminating photos of Cameron and Osborne locked away in a safe somewhere? That can be the only explanation for why they’re committing political suicide by giving £10 billion to the EU. Isn’t it time for Tory MPs to call time on this coalition and Cameron’s leadership? He needs to be replaced and whoever takes over needs to clear the decks for a snap election.


    • 7
      Emperor Von Rumboy says:

      Yes ve do, Muhahahahaha.


    • 9
      Carl Marks says:



    • 15
      Ah! Monika says:

      The thought of seeing Guido running naked round Smith Square !!!

      Worth £10 Billion to avoid that sight.


      • 43
        naked runner says:

        Guido’s time limit for Osborne making a further IMF loan / donation came and went St Patricks day March 17th I believe.
        Neo Guido has left the building for a few days- now probably abroad seeking dispensation from the pope for Guido [ a man who usually always keeps his promise], to complete the Smith Square naked dash ASAP.
        Do you honestly think that a belated 10 billion loan this week absolves Guido of his responsibilities?


    • 18
      Club Clegg says:

      Dave and Gideon have sealed their fates.
      Make sure you give all the LibLabCon-merchants a good kicking in the upcoming local elections.


    • 23
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      “photos of Cameron and Osborne locked away in a safe somewhere”

      I’d like Cameron and Osborne to be locked away in a safe somewhere. At the bottom of the Marianas Trench, perhaps.


      • 27
        Taxpayer says:

        No, I think they should be made to generate wind power by waving their arms about on the way down from the top of Beachy Head


        • 61
          A two-faced, lying, cheating, double-crossing, cowardly, arrogant wastrel and ignoramus says:

          The only real difference between Gordo and me is that I went to Eton


          • Toff E Nosedcunt says:

            So burning Eton school down would not make any difference then? I was just wondering if such a plan might make a difference one day in the future since all the utterly useless oiks seem to be products of that institution.


        • 232
          Hugh Gahoudi says:

          Great mind picture.


    • 154
      M says:

      They would prefer to be elected to the IMF
      Than a national parliament & all that accountability


    • 200
      Handycock (sex Tourist on Taxpayer's money) says:

      All politicians have skeletons in their cupboards and Dave and Gideon are no exception, and if anyone should know, I should. Boaz.


    • 292
      blowingWhistles says:

      Simples …. Rupert and his henchmen / Lieutenants / Scheusters having such powerful access [1000’s of journos worldwide with money to burn and under ‘legal instruction’ {Trade rules}] probably have the photos – they probably have every senior judge ‘bagged up’ similarly … It would explain why the Whigs darent truly attack The Murdoch Omerta Mafia.

      Leveson – its just another “Stage managed ACT” of decieving the masses – but

      “……. you can’t fool all of the people, for all of the time” – Rupee & Leveson.

      These things take time = C’est chose prennant du temps


  4. 4
    Ed Milibandwagon says:

    The fightback starts in Bwadford.


  5. 5
    Fight! Fight! Fight! says:


  6. 6

    “Theres a GOOD boy Georgie, Aunty is very pleased.”


  7. 10
    Carl Marks says:

    Look at it this way. We’re acting as the IMF’s Credit Union, preventing them from borrowing from Wonga.


  8. 11
    Guido Sir? says:

    Good week Guido.

    Holding steady at 100k a week.

    What happening with Guidogram?


  9. 12
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Dear Jim’ll Fix It :

    Please can you fix it for me to meet with Mr George Osbourne
    As i would dearly like to pulverise his face with a baseball bat
    i feel this would be very therapeutic for me and millions of other people and
    would help to stimulate our economy

    PS If Mr Cameron is free on the same day could you please send him along as well

    Thank You


  10. 19
    Carl Marks says:



  11. 22
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Wait till the New EU benefit reforms come into force
    All member states have to give the same amount of benefits and are obliged to house any person who lives within the EU
    well i can see Londonistan being swamped with yet more Eastern Eurpoeans
    But dont some how see many Brit’s or Germans scurrying off to sign on and get housed in Estonia or Romania


    • 25
      Taxpayer says:

      I might go and scrounge off the Germans


      • 204
        Anonymous says:

        But you’d have to speak German! – Too horrid.


      • 312
        Sabina Kim Nile (The MC) says:

        How come East Germans have more access to our politicians than us natives? Is it because they’ve sucked up to the past and present Governments – promising to sell on that climate change schit?


    • 29
      The Angel of Dearth says:

      Just wait until Cameron gets his way and Turkey’s population of 77 million join the EU.


      • 34
        His Cold Dead Hand says:

        He’ll never live to see it.


      • 35
        MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

        That will fuck the Indians up !
        When the Doner Kebab Takes over from Tikka Masala as Britains Number one dish !


      • 189
        handypara says:

        Joining just in time for the EU to bail them out after the €200 billion devastation to be caused by the imminent North Anatolian Fault shift sending Istanbul into the Bosporus, no doubt.


  12. 28
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Just nearly had a fuckin heart attack !
    The BBC news reporting the opening of the growing number of food banks where our “desperately poor people ” Can go and receive lots of food from charities
    The couple being filmed were about 45 ish and said at least “they can feed their family for a few more days”
    Then they carried their enormous bags of freebies out to their 11 Plate Ford Focus and Filled the boot area with their free food before a big smile at the camera and driving off

    What the Fuck is going on with this country ?


  13. 45
  14. 49
    Theresa May says:

    Its my favourite day of the week today. i love Fridays.


    • 86
      annette curton says:

      Theresa ‘May get something right one of these days’.


      • 107
        Abdel from Tooting says:

        But Madam it is Saturday.

        And whilst I am here might I ask you to reply to my 28 unanswered emails about 100k of my money which has gone missing whilst under you control.


      • 109
        Anonymous says:

        Even a broken clock is right twice a day, but she can’t even manage that the stupid cow.


      • 111
        horrorscope says:

        Surprised that Al quatada ignores his muslim / lunar calendar in preference to the Gregorian calendar [ when in Rome?] and Theresa did the opposite [ muslim calendar has 12 lunar months, 354/355 days.]
        A question of semantics? splitting hairs where January 17 to April 16th is 3 months, 13 full weeks due to our leap year February 29th.
        Intrugued what the court of appeal will decide.


      • 112
        Dobby says:

        How manypoor underlings will she have sacked by then as part of her Ministerial Responsibility? She’s the one who should bugger off.


      • 114
        horrorscope says:

        Your comment is awaiting moderation.
        April 21, 2012 at 11:35 am

        Surprised that Al quatada ignores his muslim / lunar calendar in preference to the Gregorian calendar [ when in Rome?] and Theresa did the opposite [ muslim calendar has 12 lunar months, 354/355 days.]
        A question of semantics? splitting hairs where January 17 to April 16th is 3 months, 13 full weeks due to our leap year February 29th.
        Intrugued what the court of appe@l will decide.


        • 130
          Dobby says:

          In my day Court Directions always started one day after they were announced. Has it changed?


          • Anonymous says:


            But obviously her Mayness could not possibly have had any way of knowing that.


          • Rooney says:

            In my day, Ministers of the Crown resigned if they cocked up. Now they seem to target some poor git and sack them instead.


    • 166
      Lazing on a Sunday Afternoon. says:

      You are clearly not the real Theresa May as she is one day in front of everyone else not behind. She is probably sitting in a church right now wondering where everyone else is.


      • 218
        Durr... says:

        Doesn’t she (May) go to the Mosque then? I bet it’s because she thinks someone will nick her shoes.


  15. 57
    Anonymous says:


    Or do you love to be continually fucked?
    May be you do?


  16. 58
    Anonymous says:

    Don’t endorse any of the 3 major parties this spring!

    Fuck them, just like they fuck you!


  17. 59
    Anonymous says:

    I definitely wont vote for Boris now either, it’s UKIP for me now!

    Really, enough is enough.

    If you vote tory , you are supporting Osbourne’s bail out and I won’t endorse it!


  18. 62
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    What I dont understand is that if a rich man wants to make a donation to Charity why should I as a taxpayer have to subsidise his donation?

    I thought his clamping down on tax exemptions was one of Mr Cameron’s better ideas.

    What is so wrong with making charitable donations from your net pay?


    • 119
      AC1 says:

      There’s no subsidy. Just less tax extorted by the state.


      • 135
        Dobby says:

        If you pay it to some dodgy off shore charity you might just get it all back and save tax too. Simples.


      • 136
        Anonymous says:

        It’s exactly how the mafia operate. Set up an extortion racket, like protection for example, and call in any reduction in the fees, as favours.


      • 145
        Charities are sometimes not very socially useful says:

        charities take money and divert money from the general public kitty to their specific causes. There is little accountability


    • 155
      Flatus Veteranus says:

      I quite agree Abdel. There is much hypocrisy about rich people not giving because the government taxes their donations.

      If they were that upset about it, they could just reduce their gifts by the amount of tax and tell the government what bastards they are. However, if they do that, they will not get invited to dinners with ministers or get knighthoods for services to making themselves enormously wealthy. Whilst I have nothing against them personally, I cannot understand what ‘services’ have been delivered by Mick Jagger, Elton John and other musical mediocrities. It seems to me that most of these people are driven to make themselves wealthy and famous. As for Fred the Shred’s ‘services to banking’, he alone has convinced me never to call anybody Sir This or Lord that. They can take their place in the queue as far as I am concerned.

      On the other hand, there are an awful lot of ‘charity workers’ who earn enormous salaries in the charity industry.

      On somebody elses other hand, taxation is fundamentally taking money with threats – or robbery as it used to be known when we had a police force and a justice system.


    • 209
      philanthropist says:

      Paying out of your own money is for poor people.


  19. 63
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    I am going to the polling station this spring !
    and i’m going to draw a large penis on my ballot paper
    That will show tha bastards !


  20. 75
    hh says:

    Tom Watson appears to suggest that NewsnInternational were partially the cause of his marriage breakup

    I would suggest being a fuckingnarsehole did not help either


  21. 80
    MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

    Off to earn some more money for George to give the IMF

    Toodle Pip


  22. 89
    True Stories says:

    A Woman has been arrested for entering a shop dummy as a candidate in local elections . Are they scared the dummy would get most votes ?



  23. 91
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    The argument these twats keep giving money to the IMF/EU/World Bank etc is the leftists keep telling us that failure of the EU will be even worse.

    This is like climate change a total fucking lie. All that would happen is EU Countries would revert back to their old currencies and the really shit Countries (that have always been shit economically) will have shit economies once again but you can get a cheap holiday there and the better ones will have a strong currency.

    I’m fed up bailing out the Greeks, how fucking thick are they? The only solution to fix their economy is to get out of the EU and get back their old currency, devalue and make it dirt cheap to go there for a holiday.

    Yet for some reason the Greeks are still in favour of being in the Euro (the one thing that is killing them) and still think that they can get out of this mess.

    The fucking Krauts don’t care, they will trash all these Countries so long as the Euro stays reasonably low against other top currencies as all they care about is flogging more of their shit cars to foreign rich people, if that fucks up Greece, Italy, Spain in the process, so be it.


    • 178
      smoggie says:

      The money isn’t being given; it is a loan not a gift. Furthermore, that loan will be earning interest.

      It’s not like he’s giving our gold reserves away.


  24. 106
    Drop a Daisy cutter on the BBC says:

    Who the fuck is this dim bird on the BBC news right now talking about the Harrier replacement? She’s supposed to know about aircraft yet claimed there were no runways in Afghanistan.

    She hasn’t got a clue about aircraft, the BBC are spinning a lie, the Labour government were the ones who originally intended to buy the STVOL Joint Strike Fighter, this version is a piece of shit.

    It makes sense to get rid of the ski jump and replace that with catapults that enables the carriers to operate the full range of NATO aircraft from it. Also the proper naval version of the JSF has better range and performance than the pointless STVOL version.

    The Tories should have cancelled both carriers and put Gordon Brown on trial for theft, but as we’re now stuck with them, we might as well spend the extra and have proper carriers.

    But that bird on the news should stick to cooking her husbands breakfast, how the fuck do women get jobs about defence when they don’t have a clue?


    • 126
      East India Company Wallah says:

      Parroting the party line does not require knowledge


    • 127
      AC1 says:

      Bagram Airfield

      Kandahar Airport


    • 131
      Del Trotter says:

      If its fighter jets you want I can get you some cheap. Brand new state of the art German things.

      Just phone Athens.


    • 149
      Anonymous says:

      They just fold the towels.


    • 161
      Flatus Veteranus says:

      This is, as usual, a simple situation stoked up by lefty media types to try to cause political embarassment.

      The real reason for the ‘massive U turn’ (changing from catapult launch / hookwire landing) aeroplanes to ‘jump jets’ is that the JSF with the hook doesn’t work – major design fuckup! So, it would cost another fortune to redesign the hooky version but a lot cheaper to have the hovering version. Simple arithemetic.

      However, since the media and left wing politics are dominated by mincing, coke sniffing, pseudo intellectual, moral masturbating, over educated turd burglars who think it sophisticated to be unable to balance a cheque book, we have to skip over daft stories in the press to get to what matters. Who won the footy and how big are his girlfriends norks?


    • 171
      Another Engineer says:

      BAE аrе tаkіng thе pіss оn whаt thеy wаnt tо chаrgе fоr cаtаpults, bеcаusе thеy dоn’t wаnt thеm іnstаllеd. It wоuld mеаn thаt wе cоuld usе а whоlе rаngе оf usеful аіrcrаft оff thе cаrrіеrs rаthеr thаn thе pоіntlеss (аnd еxcеptіоnаlly dіffіcult tо mаіntаіn) STVOL JSF. Thе gоvеrnmеnt shоuld tеll thеm tо dо іt fоr а sеnsіblе prіcе (еvеn thе Amеrіcаns thіnk іt іs а stupіd prіcе аnd hаvе tоld thе UK gоvеrnmеnt thаt іt cоsts аbоut 25% оf whаt BAE аrе quоtіng) оr еlsе thеy wіll rеvіеw аny futurе cоntrаcts.

      Thіs rеаlly іs а vеry vеry crаp dеcіsіоn.

      If yоu аrе gоіng tо hаvе а full sіzе cаrrіеr, thеn аt lеаst usе іt fоr prоpеr аіrcrаft.


      • 223
        Drop a daisy cutter on the BBC says:

        Exactly, BAE should be told to do it for the same price or they will NEVER be allowed to tender for a defence contract again.


    • 192
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      It was probably Ethel the tea lady filling in.

      What do i know about swing-wing or VTOL?

      One lump or two deary?


  25. 123
    BBC says:


  26. 139
    AC1 Kenobi says:

    Yoda told me and my boyfriend to give up the dark side of the force, but we told him to fuck off.


    • 143
      AC1 says:

      Tat, You know you can come out if you want. No-one will judge you anymore. Your mother will probably not be as surprised as you think she will be.


  27. 140
    Some Geezer wot says "ya pays yer money" coz ya got no choice says:

    David Cameltoe’s father made boatloads of money in Maggie Thatcher’s day, through all kinds of exotic overseas investments, and shows what happened when you allowed Tories to be able to take money out of the British economy and put it beyond reach of the taxman and other possible creditors; way too sinful for words! Now, thirty years on, the debate is whether Tories should be allowed to take money out of the British economy and “invest” it in foreign lands with all sorts of dubious characters. The difference, of course, was that in Mr. Cameron Snr’s case, it was private individuals doing it, and there was a reasonable expectation that there would be some return on such investment; that’s what was so sinful about it. Don’t people realise that all their money is really only a loan from the State, and able to be called in at any time, and used for whatever purpose the State wants since it’s the State’s money? And if the Tories HAVE to pay into a slush fund for bailouts, it really is a good thing in the long run, isn’t it, because in Europe too, we’re all in this together? So sod off, all you little people, they know how to make use of your money better than you do! (And of course, they know how to make use of the State’s money to their own kleptocratic advantage.)

    What am I missing here, if anything?


    • 142
      annette curton says:

      You are missing the fundamental point, too much Tory, they are all on the make and very well healed thank you very much suckers, just substitute the word Politician.


    • 146
      Club Clegg says:

      The State’s money ? Surely you mean the bankers’ money – they were the ones who dreamt up the whole Ponsi scheme in the first place.


      • 153
        annette curton says:

        And nobody has been arrested for the biggest fraud in history.


      • 284
        Some Geezer wot isn't misrepresenting what the situation is says:

        Well, of course, that was the point in my sarcastic rant. Money doesn’t mean anything when it’s just figures on a computer screen that can be invented out of thin air, having only the promise of repayment and the right to repossess whatever was bought with that money for default of that promise. It means something to YOU when you are using actual dosh you earn to pay off the loan, and when your house or car is repossessed if you don’t. The “State’s money” of which I spoke is financing by bankers as against receipts of tax revenue, which revenue is raised from jokers out there who can’t utilise the tax breaks the State’s favourites get. Last I checked, stone doesn’t bleed, and there’s a limit to just how much you can stick the people up for before they are so disincentivised that they do not produce. There’s too many people out there for the Government to play “Reg and Ron” and break our legs for non-payment, so they have to “carry” us whilst we pay off that which they CAN get out of us. Of course, just as with the shylocks, at that rate you never get out from under. If it were you or I in business, administration might be a possibility. When that happens, you or I find our access to credit greatly reduced if not eliminated altogether. We are not allowed to go on spending as if there were no tomorrow– tomorrow has come, and it’s today, and the spending is cut to the bare bone. But somehow, this never seems to happen with the Government and the bankers– they have the legal monopoly on the use of force and fraud and thus the laws they use against us somehow don’t apply to them. The American colonists revolted because taxation without representation is tyranny. Representation without taxation, i.e. the representatives working out which sucker pays for someone else’s tax-cost-free indulgences on the taxpayer’s shilling, is also tyranny. At the very least it is MISrepresentation, if you will.


  28. 148
    Ed Balls does support a cap on donations says:


    • 170
      MAD FRANKIE HADDOCK son of COD says:

      f f f f fer fer fucks sake how a b b b ber beout st st stutttt ter ing sh sh sh shaddow ch ch ch ch chancellors ?


  29. 150
    Revd. Phoney £rd Way B£iar, sanctimonious git and £iar, emoting and wiv stupid grin says:


    I’m very RICH !!!

    Am I bovvard?


  30. 156
    I woner who it was? says:


    • 183
      George "spank me now" Osborne says:

      I pretend not to hear when people tell me they’re fucked off with me spunking their money away in the direction of Europe.


    • 190
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      They should have yelled back “If Georgie Osbrown is going to give it to the IMF to bail out the Euro, why should we pay them”


  31. 158

    Ken is tucking into a nice plate of hypercholesterolemia in that Twatpic.


    • 159
      this picture? says:


      • 162
        Anonymous says:

        No sausage or bacon, looks like Ken has gone kosher. Anything for a vote, the shameless get.


      • 163

        The very one. If current lipid hypothesis is valid, abnormal cholesterol levels, higher concentrations of LDL and lower concentrations of functional HDL are strongly associated with cardiovascular disease because these promote atherosclerosis or atheroma development in the arteries. It leads to myocardial infarction heart attack, stroke, and peripheral vascular disease.

        Not many orgasms left for Ken’s doctor during examination time, I would think, although the Hippocratic Oath expressly forbids that. Ken’s doctor sounds as genuine as his accountant.


        • 167
          Ah! Monika says:

          Keep taking the Crestor.

          Non-HDL Cholesterol Seems a Better Target Than LDL to Gauge Statin Therapy

          LDL cholesterol levels may not be the best target for statin therapy, according to a JAMA meta-analysis.

          Non-HDL cholesterol is your total cholesterol minus your HDL “good cholesterol.” Here’s the formula: Non-HDL Cholesterol = Total Cholesterol – HDL Cholesterol. So if your total cholesterol is 190 and your HDL cholesterol is 40, your non-HDL cholesterol is 150


  32. 164
    AC1 says:

    who, what, where?
    my mummy calls me,
    i sit on the throne of pain,


  33. 165
    • 205
      Abdul Handycock says:

      This is racist cant from a right wing rag and not true. I have many Isl@mic constituents and they assure me that this sort of behaviour could not possibly happen, and I believe them because they all vote for me, and without their vote I would be working in KFC. Boaz.


    • 303
      Britain - a now ruined country. says:

      Not a word on the bbc about the above crime (rape and imprisonment of girls to celebrate Eid) – How surprising – NOT.


  34. 169
    Ah! Monika says:

    Cameron family fortune made in tax havens….The Guardian FFS.


    • 175
      annette curton says:

      The Guardian and tax havens go together like a horse and cart, but lets not the facts get in the way of a good story.


  35. 174
    Reichschancellors Merkel says:

    Guten Tag, Guten Tag.

    Vielen Dank für all die zehn billion euros.

    Sie haben unsere banken gerettet


  36. 176
    ffs! says:


    The Metropolitan Police admitted the group would receive support from “Occupational health specialists” before and after the 70-day relay.

    Fucking money wasting bastard FFS. Flour and eggs at the ready.


  37. 177
    HARD of HEARING says:

    Sounds like these protesters in Bahrain are never satisfied !
    They just said on the news that
    The grand prix will go ahead despite increased pensions


  38. 185
    UKIP is now the only sane party in the UK says:


    • 191
      Ken Livingstone says:

      At least I am not contributing to bailing out the Euro zone.


    • 194
      The Public says:

      You are very right. Have you ever thought of going into politics?


    • 226
      eat your greens says:

      For that amount of money, one could have dammed the Bristol Channel. Smothered it with wind turbines to provide a double renewable source of energy without the eyesore complaints from residents and ahighway link from Southwest into Wales.
      Unfortunately the presence of a few t*ts and water wading birds scuppered the project.


      • 295
        Sir Aston Martin says:

        Do we want to be joined to Wales? Why don’t we unzip it along the border and sell it to the Chinese?


  39. 186
    Club Clegg says:

    Stuffed it up Millipede’s arse, more like :



  40. 188
    Dave "Rustbucket" Camermong says:

    My pleasure Empress.

    Watt! Watt! Toodle Pip.


  41. 195
    A Greasy Spoon for a Greasy Guy says:

    I see Ken has given up on his bid for power and has turned to comfort food. Seen eating non-kosher, non-halal full English whores breakfast


  42. 197
    AceSeeOne says:

    i’m fucked


  43. 199
    groupie says:

    Anyone know which social venue will be graced by the presence of fun-loving Theresa May this evening (assuming her calendar has been fixed)?


    • 206
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      I thought we were still using the Julian not the Gregorian calender so there.

      ner ner ner ner nerrr ;-)


    • 210
      Teresa (I 'm looking old and knackered these days) says:

      What’s wrong with me going to Jonathan Shalit’s 50th Birthday Party?

      Who is he anyway?

      Grandson of the Gestesner “printing” process. Ed


      • 285
        This be the question says:

        Has There is a May ever had a bloody good seeing to?

        If not . . . . .

        Could explain a lot!!


  44. 208
    Axe The Telly Tax says:

    When Camermong told Carswell to get a sense of humor, Carswell should have said “I will Primeminister, just as soon as you grow a spine” :-)


  45. 211
    Georgie Osbrown says:

    I’m giving the IMF another £10 billion pounds of your money, because as Liam Byrne said “There’s no money left”.



    • 214
      annette curton says:

      A lot of dodgy I.O.U’s flying around everywhere, would you buy a used car from this person?.


      • 241
        Gone in the amount of time it takes to waste £10Billion says:

        I wouldn’t even steal a used car from him


    • 247
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Is it all pretend money? When we had the financial crash where did all the money go? Did the money ever exist?
      We could ask Liam Byrne, Ed Balls, Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling. Maybe they know. Maybe Mervin King knows.
      Perhaps there is a huge pile of money somewhere.


  46. 221
    the beast of kfc says:

    “Call me louise” Osborne has jut payed £10 Billion for this Euro filth


  47. 230
    Kebab time says:

    What a Jeremy C-unt


  48. 230
    København says:

    ОK Bеаst.

    Hеrе іs а chоіcе:

    А. Gеоrgе Оsbоrnе stоps pаyіng аll thіs mоnеy tо thе ІMF оr
    B. Yоu аrе gіvеn а mоnth оf wееknіghts tо bе spеnt wіth thаt lіttlе Frеnch mіnx (nаturаlly yоu wоuld nееd Sаturdаy аnd Sundаy еvеnіngs оff tо rеst.)

    Yоu mаy оnly chооsе оnе. Hоw chооsе yоu?

    *Tіrеsоmе mоdbоt strіkеs*


  49. 233
  50. 238

    The weather’s nice this time of year
    I think I’ll try a blog
    Try my luck on Guido Fawkes, but
    M0db0t sent it down the bog.


  51. 243
    Democracy Has Its Limits says:

    LibLabCon pull out of BBC London mayoral debate because other candidates were going to participate:



    • 252
      ffs! says:

      What utter Hunt’s. Who the fuck do they think they are? Get around the table and debate stuff like grown ups. What are they afraid of? They can’t say it is a principled stand as they have no principals. Arseholes.

      They really haven’t a fucking clue.

      Bastards the lot of them.


  52. 244
    CLINT Cameron says:

    Lord Ashley has died

    David Cameron described Lord Ashley as a “tireless” campaigner for disabled people who had a huge impact not just through his charity work, and legislation, but also in changing attitudes.

    The prime minister said: “It takes characters like Jack, with his extraordinary tenacity, to push for that kind of positive change.

    David Cameron’s government is killing disabled people so in what way have attitudes changed????


    • 272
      Ctesibius says:

      CLINT I am glad you have raised this terrible issue. I live near one of the camps. Every night I see Conservative Party vans driving in with the poor disabled people chained in them screaming to us for help. To no avail. Next morning their prosthetic limbs, wheelchairs, etc. are there for all to see, discarded in the canal. How can this go on? This terrible campaign of murder and torture is so frightening that your sang froid in describing it is truly ‘English’.


      • 280
        Crip says:



      • 282
        the ghost of Mary Whitehouse says:

        You too!


      • 318
        smoggie says:

        Not all of them are killed. Those who agree to work are spared. I mean, just because you’re in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t sweep the roads like anyone else.


        • 336
          Ctesibius says:

          Hi CLINT Cameron,

          Smoggie raised an interesting point. Round here the Conservatives are killing all disabled people on sight in special camps. Yet in other areas they seem to be allowing them to live for a while…

          How strange this is.

          Would you mind giving us a bit more detail on Conservative policies towards the disabled? It’s so different than under the saintly Gordon Brown, when I recall anyone disabled appearing in the streets had literally millions of pounds pushed into the pockets. And that made them better.


  53. 245
    not a machine says:

    Ed thinks bying leccy in in bulk is a brilliant idea ?………… over to Ed Davy then for rebuttle ………. on how it wont work


    • 248
      Club Clegg says:

      Perhaps Ed has a big jar in his shed to store it in.


      • 320
        A mere cat @ compare the eejits.com says:

        Ed’s spotted a BOGOF offer on windmills. His plan is to use the electricity to make one blow to make the other produce electricity to make the first one blow …..
        so the electricity gets stored in a kind of perpetual motion machine. Simple.


    • 250
      South of the M4 says:

      Milli E obviously knows zip about the electricity market. I guess he thinks he can rent a warehouse somewhere to stuff it all in. To get the best value he could only store it there at peak times moving it to a cheaper warehouse at night.


    • 251
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Ed Miliband is no bright spark.


      • 266
        Anonymous says:

        Ed is about as bright as the new low energy bulbs that have been foisted on us.


        • 293
          Sir Aston Martin says:

          Never leave the lightswitch on with no bulb in the socket — the leccy will leak away and cost you £££s.


    • 253
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Presumably you can stockpile coal,oil & gas in large quantities when the market price is cheap and draw on those stockpiles when the market price is expensive.

      Just saying like :-)


    • 255
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Presumably you can stockpile coal,oil & gas in large quantities when the market pri-ce is cheap and draw on those stockpiles when the market pri-ce is expensive.

      Just saying like :-)


  54. 246
    annette curton says:

    So the Government of the day has decided to give away unlimited amounts of cash which they don’t have in the first place and without resort to Parliament, £40 billion now to IMF, what a disgraceful set of rogues, thieves and vagabonds. How much do I owe now as a citizen?, is it £150,000 per head!.


    • 249
      I don't need no doctor says:

      Don’t worry the “money” doesn’t actually exist, and besides there is no money left, well according to Liam Byrne. So if there is no money left we can’t give the IMF any. So if the IMF believe that Osborne is giving them another £10 billion, boy are they stupid.


      • 254
        annette curton says:

        I get your drift, all pretend money in a pretend world, except when Joe Blogs finds out the cost of his pint of milk has gone up to £3.50.


      • 257
        George "Louise" Osborne says:

        You’re right, it will be £20 billion instead.


      • 259
        Axe The Telly Tax says:

        The banks and all the money the government is printing are just the products of a deranged imagination.

        Here’s Douglas Adams take on inflation :


    • 262
      Abdel from Tooting says:

      i notice also that while Madame Lagrande has been doing the rounds both the Yanks and Chinese have kept their hands firmly in their pockets.

      Do I need to say anymore?


  55. 269
    Sir William Waad says:

    There’s always plenty of money for Abroad, isn’t there?


  56. 281
    The Tosser in No 10 says:

    Austerity? – what austerity? – we’ve given the MILF £10 billion!!!


  57. 283
    A two-faced, lying, cheating, double-crossing, cowardly, sanctimonious, arrogant, wastrel and ignora says:

    Nothing is my fault you understand!


  58. 294
    Nad is Mad with Dave says:


    • 305
      A Plague on this whole generation of Parliamentary Schemers and Whores says:

      Who cares if you mutiny or not. You and your fellow Mps have failed the British people. It is too late, the damage is done: our children and thier children have been enslaved by your borrowing.


  59. 296
    A Life long Tory Voter says:

    This government has to be the most corrupt ever. DO NOT TRUST THE FUCKERS.


    • 299
      A man with a van says:

      Actually they are not the most corrupt, that record belongs to Blair.

      This one is just useless.


  60. 300
    A Long life Tory voter says:

    This government is useless.
    I am thinking of voting for Labour or UKIP


    • 313
      Labour can lick my rectum says:

      Labour and UKIP are polar opposites, it’s impossible for someone to narrow their choices down to those two. Either you’re having a laugh or you’re one disc short of a special edition dvd.


      • 337
        a Long life tory voter says:

        Too long being a middle of the road voter I fancy I need a little excitement in my life instead of the same old, same old. Consequently I am hovering between the 2 political extremes, neither of which has a snowballs chance in Hades of achieving anything conclusive at this moment in time.
        Put it down to a Conservative menopause.
        I have put the blue lion tamers hat away, ordered white socks to go with red open toed sandals and am practising spe@king with a nasal blockage to attend westham footie matches to blend in with the Socialist riff-raff. UKIP outings are proving more complicated but at least a refusal to touch anything foreign [with the exception of Babette behind the counter] is doing wonders for my excess weight. Time will tell .


    • 334
      Gonk says:

      Scintilla of sense in your statement as a vote for Labour would hasten the impending catastrophe and at least we could then somehow resurrect from the ashes.
      The liar and fraud Cameron just delays the whole process. UKIP maybe, just maybe.
      Best suggestion by far I’ve seen is draw a giant penis on your voting slip.


  61. 301
    A Long life Milk carton says:

    I am thinking of changing to full cream or at the least half fat .


  62. 308
    lorry halfpenny says:

    Have you noticed the advent of a section of comments that suggest you alter your allegiance to another party?
    Dave and George and many other Tories are crap at the moment I would agree but perhaps incorrectly I put this down to them having their hands partly tied by the LibDems. You are stuck with the relationship unfortunately for the full 5 year term which suggests anything of importance will become watered down.
    Like the London mayoral elections there is only one creditable candidate – The buffoon Boris who does his best to play the fool, covering up his talents, laying himself open to 2nd rate candidates attempting to don the mantle of knight to the rescue.
    With the Socialists in dissaray it is sad there is no true opposition to h@rry and stimulate the government of the day and Brussels interference or threats by USA credit rating organisations working for their own country’s propaganda organisations all muddy the water. Add the inevitable Union entrance to threaten and disrupt the day to day working of various state services and even more hardship will emerge to add to many’s present depression.

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
    Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

    If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
    And stoop and build ‘em up with wornout tools;

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on”;

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch;
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run –
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!


    Have a great day


    • 311
      M*dbot's going mad again says:

      I think you’re slightly over-complicating the issue.

      Take a step back, and let’s keep things simple:

      David Cameron is a tw@t, and he hasn’t got a clue what he’s doing.


      • 322
        Cashier Cameron says:

        I think you’re over-simplifying things.
        Dave is an arrogant twat and, unfortunately, he does have a clue what he’s doing, traitor that he is.


      • 338
        Cashier Cameron says:

        I think you’re over-simplifying the issue.
        Dave is an arrogant twat, and, unfortunately, he knows full well what he’s doing.


  63. 310
    Dìane Àbbott says:


  64. 314

    It’s Earth Day…

    Who makes up all this bollocks?


    • 315
      not a machine says:

      shoosh dont tell the greens the powerstaions dont go off , its just the lights , carry on pulluting on this wheeze .


      • 323
        Abdel from Tooting says:

        Why is it every time I see a Green Person they are wearing expensive high quality oil consuming spectacles.

        Surely they should be wearing something made of recycled cardboard or better still reusing NHS glasses from th 60’s.

        They are very strange people.


        • 327
          Chilcott says:

          And Green women are even worse.

          Do you know half of them are on the Pill and they keep going to the toilet and urinating.

          The estrogen gets mixed with the water and ends up in the rivers making all our fish impotent.

          They are so anti social it is not true.


          • Jane Birkin from Paris says:

            The men are even worse!

            Have you ever tried to get one of those jolly green giants to put on a condom?

            They spend 30 minutes talking about saving the planet and end up thinking they have performed oral sex on you.

            They are a complete waste of space.


    • 316
      Tachybaptus says:

      About 15 years ago there was a National No Constipation Day (yes, really). But they never managed to have another; somehow the movement got stuck. A shame, as it should have been an anal event.


    • 335
      Axe The Telly Tax says:

      Funny, i thought it was Sun Day preceded by Saturn Day and followed by Moon Day.

      Were theses clowns using Teresa May’s calendar :-)


  65. 317
    Madman Across the Water says:

    first Osborne now Lansley


    They are all fucking mad

    Back to the Dark Ages


    • 324
      David Camewrong says:

      One’s got to keep the poor poor, don’tcha know.
      Toodle pip.


      • 330
        The Labour Parteh says:

        The Tory scum cannot “keep” the poor poor. They have to create the poor. Labour abolished poorness during our 13 glorious years in power. There were no poor people here until the evil Tory-led government created poverty in the second half of 2010.


    • 331
      Labour says:

      The Tory scum cannot “keep” the poor poor. They have to create the poor. Labour abolished poorness during our 13 glorious years in power. There were no poor people here until the evil Tory-led government created poverty in the second half of 2010.


  66. 329
    Abdel from Tooting says:

    When I was working in my takeaway this morning I started thinking about George Osborne.

    Yesterday he started saying that he had not given away 10 billion pounds of taxpayers money. He said there would be no call whatsoever on the tax payer because he was taking the money from national reserves which apparently have nothing to do with the taxpayer.

    That got me thinking . If someone had given this money to the Banks three years ago the financial crisis would have cost us nothing. There would be no need for any of this austerity nonsense and a million people wouls still be receiving a wage in the state sector . There would have been no riots or defacing of the cenotaph and five people who are dead today would still be alive. Mr Cameron could even have finished his holiday in Tuscany.

    All it needed was a bit more thought from those who are supposed to be working so hard for us all.


    • 333
      Mr Helpful says:

      An excellent bit of reasoning, but with one teensy flaw.

      It’s bollocks.

      Osborne leant £10billion to the IMF. Labour’s bank bailout cost ~ £77billion. I’m not a professor of mathematics, but I believe I’m right in saying that 77 billion is more than 10 billion. Quite a lot more. More than we’ve got in foreign currency reserves.

      Also, it’s slightly contentious to say that the hundreds of moron chavs who went looting did so because of Labour bailing-out the banks to the tune of £77billion. They did so because they’re lawless chavs. There was some excuse about it being a reaction to police shooting a worthless criminal.

      It’s also suggested that the looting was a good thing. Ed Militwit seemed to approve of it.


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